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Ayelet Waldman, author of "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace," talks about how all mothers need an identity separate from mothering their children and how 'attachment parenting' can be problematic.   The full interview from a 2009 episode of "Conversations On The Coast with Jim Foster" can be heard now wherever you get your podcasts.  Photo: ayeletwaldman.com

THE CYCLE OF ATTACHMENT The start of healthy attachments begins in the womb. Optimal fetal development occurs when the expectant mother cares for her emotional & physical health. Also, when a mother is experiencing a happy outlook concerning her pregnancy. Good nutrition & avoiding stress provides an environment for the fetus to flourish. When the child is born, immediate comfort from the mother is needed. She provides nurturing & soothing for her new baby. When an infant has a need, which is normally due to hunger, pain, illness or the infant being overly tired, they will cry out due to their discomfort. An infant learns to communicate their needs in this way. As the parent soothes & meets the infant's needs the infant becomes satisfied, relaxed & regulated. The cycle of trust begins & happens over and over each day. The infant learns to depend & rely on the caregiver as this cycle repeats hundreds of times in an infant’s first year of life. These experiences are a large part of the bonding process between mother and child. This creates an optimal environment for the infant to receive the mother’s loving energy. As the infant is being rocked or held and glazing into their mother’s eyes, the baby mirrors the mom’s smiles & facial expressions. Mother & child become finely attuned to one another as this bonding process continues. This cycle aids in stimulating brain development. When a baby experiences discomfort & the mother does not respond or her responses are inconsistent, the cycle of attachment is disturbed. An infant is unable to self-regulate thus resulting in a heightened level of anxiety and rage. As the baby’s needs are not being met & the neglect continues an infant will eventually cease crying. The infant can shut down completely or go into survival mode, all of which can interfere with healthy brain devolvement. If the mother is inconsistent with her caregiving, the infant can remain ANXIOUS not knowing if or when his needs will be met. DISCLAIMER Assalam Alaykum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh #attachmentstyles #attachment #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #attachmentissues #relationshiptips #relationshipgoals #marriagegoals https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpmr0ieLb23/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Sharing Knowledge & Insights On What I've Learned On ATTACHMENT THEORY Attachment styles refer to the particular way in which an individual relates to other people. The style of attachment is formed at the very beginning of life, and once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children. The concept involves one’s confidence in the availability of the attachment figure for use as a secure base from which one can freely explore the world when not in distress and a safe haven from which one can seek support, protection, and comfort in times of distress. Bowlby identified four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-ambivalent, disorganized, and avoidant. PS: MY IG POSTS ARENT THERAPY. This Page Shares General Psychoeducation Information & May Not Suit Your Situation, Or Resonate With You. Take What Connects & Leave The Rest. Please See My Disclaimer(Highlight)For More Information Assalam Alaykum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh #relationships #letsfixitwithsharifahnamusisi #attachment #attachmenttheory #attachmentparenting #attachmentstyles https://www.instagram.com/p/CpVU6QBte4U/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

At forest school today (I was a parent volunteer, if you missed my previous post), one of Jake's little friends wasn't feeling it. He was really quiet and didn't want to do any of the activities. I chatted to him for a bit, and he explained that he had woken up very early and he was tired. He walked around with me and Jake for a bit, but still didn't want to join in, and eventually announced that he was too tired to walk, and sat down on a log. Jake went over and sat next to him, and asked "Are you sad? Do you want my Mummy to sit next to you?" I thought that was such a sweet thing! He thinks that sitting next to me makes people feel better! 🥰 Well, that's how I'm interpreting that anyway. I did sit with his friend for a while and he told me a very long story, that I struggled to follow, but he seemed to enjoy telling it, so that's the main thing! And Jake happily wandered off, leaving me to chat to his friend. I'm happy that he's secure enough in our attachment and the knowledge that I'm HIS Mummy, that he could offer my listening ear to his friend, and not feel threatened. . #attachment #attachmentbuilding #attachmentdisorder #attachmentparenting #buildingattachments #therapeuticparenting #connectedparenting #connection #parenting #adoption #wholesome https://www.instagram.com/p/CpQKpb-owX9/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

(The pictures in the car we were parked at the bus stop, don’t worry lol)

It doesn't show up very well in this picture, but if you look closely, you can see the heart of glow-in-the-dark stars that I made in my son's room several months ago. He's only just noticed it's a heart and is delighted all over again! He keeps thanking me for making him a heart of stars 🥰 . #wholesome #attachment #buildingattachments #attachement #attachmentparenting #attachmentdisorder #adoptiveparent #adoptivefamily #love #wecouldhavemissedthis #adoptionbuiltus #wearefamily #thisisus #livingourbestlives #livingmybestlife #happy #lovemakesafamily #family #famille #familia #familie #noussommesfamille #wirsindfamilie #adoption #adoptionuk #heart https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn7kiB1MVWx/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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