#bipolar type

I know they're not real so regardless it makes me feel better to do it because I feel like trying to control me so they've been talking about rape my head and the people involved their names are either Adriana - nae Corey ask Scotty what else is the other name I can't think of it right now they say they're all My ex's pretty much every dude I ever know they say they are including family members one of them of the names I just listed was the name of a family member I know she's not actually involved but these are the names that they're using in case you just so happens to be real and just so happens I had their name.

I'm using the speaker to do this which is why it's coming off so weird it's probably very ... not grammatically correct. regardless what else.

they're complaining that I put stuff online so I'm going to keep putting stuff online because they're trying to control me they say that I think I'm 14 because I was looking at some corset that I was going to buy and I wear a US 14 when I say 14 they says 14 years old they say I have a mind of a child because I'm doing petty s*** like this I have a mind of a child because they say the way I just embarrassing what else.

I think that's enough I'ma try to break it up so this would be easily read I want people to read it because that's what pisses them off

and

So...over the last week I’ve started feeling a bit different than my normal..then I started not being able to sleep for more than an hour at a time. I knew what was happening but I ignored it. It usually just fades off before it gets bad, or I end up cleaning my entire house...but not this time. This time the bigger monster stepped in. Today, I woke up to my lovely boyfriend calling me at 6pm. I had been asleep for over 18 hours. I felt more off than usual but shrugged it off thinking I was just over tired from not sleeping then knocking out for so long.

On the way to his house I realized, that I was in fact, having an episode. I didn’t feel real. (& it’s almost impossible to describe that feeling) When I got to him he immediately noticed something was off with me and I tried to explain. (he’s been a rockstar with my crazy moods and panic attacks before) Even his dog noticed I wasn’t feeling right and stayed glued to me more than normal.

When I finally told him exactly what I was feeling, he jumped up and got on the bed with me. Wrapped me in the blanket and snuggled me and talked me down(ish). He made dinner while I stayed in bed. (on his orders lol) He cut up my food and made sure I was comfortable & warm. After we ate he told me to nap. Which I did even though I slept for so long only hours before. When I woke up, he gently started asking me questions about how I was feeling. After I said what I could describe, (and trust me it’s weird road of knowing your crazy and knowing the thoughts aren’t correct but not being able to stop it) he hugged me close and kissed my head. Then said...”You are real. You exist. You are here...if not..my imagination is fucking amazing because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

This made me giggle which I’m sure was his goal. He is the sweetest ever. I’ve never had ANYONE (that I wasn’t paying...even then) give me this level of care during these times. 

I’m still in it, and I’m sure it’ll be a few days before it passes, but knowing I have such great support I’m feeling more OK about it. I am calling my counselor in the morning to make an earlier appointment (his idea). 

When ur manic episode drops you STRAIGHT into depression, but you skype your gf-i adore her- and she helps you out of it just with memes!! It was so fun! But then she has to leave to go to bed and youre right back to crying again...