If itβs not too personal, would you mind to tell how did you realize you were trans?
Totally not too personal! Now sit back, reeeeelaaax, and enjoy this ramble!!
When I was around 4 or 5, I would always throw hissy fits over wearing dresses because they made me uncomfortable. I would be put in them, but I wouldn't go down without a fight. Kicking and screaming, flailing my arms and legs, crying, "No! I don't want it! I don't want it!!"
When I was in kindergarten, the teachers would say "boys on this side, girls on the other." I'd go to the boys side, and get in trouble. "Just because your friends are there doesn't mean you're a boy, go to the other side.", I was upset. It wasn't because my friends were there, and I said as much.
"But I'm a BOY TOO!"
They called my parents and told them I was being disruptive in class.
When I got older, it kept up. I didn't feel like I was "supposed" to. I didn't DO what I was supposed to.
Grade 5, I got bullied. I had been bullied for years at this point, but that's when I heard the word for the first time.
"TRANNY."
I didn't know what it meant, but I knew from the tone of their voice, it wasn't something I wanted to be. It was bad. It was WRONG.
I went home crying and told my mom. I asked what it meant, and she told me, "That's a mean word that people use for others who were born in the wrong body, and so they change themselves to feel happier."
I asked her what the real word was, and she told me.
"Transgender."
Things started to finally make sense. Though, the negativity impacted me, and I denied myself the truth.
Age 15, I'd hide my hair in hats, and dress like a lumberjack. I'd wear double sports bras to bind my chest, I hated my chest. I hated puberty. I hated what was happening to my body. It was WRONG.
Age 17, I got my first short haircut. I felt alive. Like a weight had been lifted off of meβ hair weighs a lot, who knew?
Age 18, I changed my name. It was Oliver, then Alex, then Trent, and finally...
Tristan.
Age 24, I'm happy and content with life. I feel like myself, and I'm comfortable in my skin. I feel RIGHT, and it's beautiful.
