as you put your tray down on the table, all of jaehee’s friends watched you with sharp eyes. “hey,” you smiled at jaehee, scooting into the bench. “sorry- is it okay if i sit here?” you realized that you had basically invited yourself to their table, not knowing a single one of them. 

you noticed how his cheeks turned a slight hue of red while you spoke to him, biting your cheek to keep yourself from giggling. 

“y-yeah, it’s fine.” the corners of his lips tugged up back at you. 

the rest of lunch was spent in silence, quiet stares at one another, and the occasional “sorry” when jaehee would accidentally bump knees with you. once the bell rang, you all separated into your classes, leaving you and jaehee alone, walking to class together. 

“i don’t get why so many people think you’re weird,” you said, breaking the piercing silence. “i never understood it. you’re really nice, jaehee.” 

he hesitated to respond, unsure of what to say. “thanks, y/n.” his voice was sheepish, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “you’re really nice, too.” 

after your small interaction, you and jaehee started to hang out more – he even started to help you with work you didn’t understand. you decided to invite over to your house so he could help you with some of your coursework and maybe watch a movie, too. 

the second the clock ticked to 4:30pm, your phone buzzed with jaehee’s profile picture popping up. 

hey, i’m outside :) 

okayyy i’m coming 

you unlocked the door, letting jaehee into your dorm and apologizing for the mess. 

“sorry, i’ve been busy and haven’t had time to clean up.” you looked at the couch behind you that was littered with papers. but he didn’t respond. he was frozen on the spot, ears turned completely red. “are you okay?” 

he finally snapped out of his trance, blinking back into reality. “o-oh, sorry. i’m fine.” his tone was awkward, a nervous laugh slipping out. “should we start working?” he asked, cutting the topic off short. 

for the rest of the hangout, he seemed oddly awkward. you thought that you two were over that hurdle, comfortable enough to hang out on your own, but today, he just seemed on edge. you could be asking him a question about how to write something, or how to format it, and he would be staring at you in a trance, at a loss for what to say. 

it didn’t make any sense… until you caught him. 

both of you were sitting on your bed, supposedly focused on your coursework. “so, do i write it like this? or do i make this a separate part?” you kept your eyes on your laptop’s screen but jaehee wasn’t answering you again. uncertain of why he wasn’t responding, you looked to your side, ending up face to face with him. 

you followed his line of vision, which ended up on your chest. he was staring at your chest. 

“hey,” you snapped your fingers. “my eyes are up here, jaehee.” 

blood immediately rushed to his face. “i’m sorry, y/n, i didn’t mean to!” he buried his face into the palms of his hands, hiding himself from your confrontation. 

but you couldn’t blame him. your shirt was cut low and it barely held your chest, your tits basically spilling out of your shirt. 

while he was trying to hide his embarrassment, you laughed at his reaction, smiling at how ashamed he was. “it’s fine, jaehee.” you peeled his hands away from his face, which was painted completely red. though when it came to him, it wasn’t fine whatsoever. as much as you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t help but notice the way his dick strained against his sweatpants. 

“you’re hard from looking at my tits?” you purred, placing a hand on jaehee’s thigh. “maybe you are a loser.” 

jaehee looked down to his pants which had a huge tent in it. “don’t look…” he used his hands to cover himself, but you already decided to help him with it. 

“take your pants off.” however, it seemed like jaehee didn’t hear you. “pup, take your pants off.” you tilted his chin up, holding his head to look at you with your fingers. 

he slowly got up and tugged his pants down to his ankles, leaving him in his boxers. the way he was sitting like an obedient puppy, the way he was looking at you with glossed eyes, it made you hungry to hear his whimpers as you grinded your core against him. 

you clicked your tongue, you run your hand over his thigh, watching as his bulge grew. “take everything off, jae.” he steadily started getting more obedient, following your instructions quicker this time. his cock instantly slipped out of his boxers, slapping against his abdomen. he let out a sharp breath as the cold air hit him, feeling small as you looked down at him. 

“stay still,” you pulled your shorts down and positioned yourself over jaehee’s cock, your knees on both sides of him, holding on his shoulders to stabilize yourself while you lined yourself up with him. his cock stretched you out as you sunk down on him, drawing a soft moan out of you as he dug deep in your pussy. 

“fuuuck, jae. you’re so big.” you threw your head back in pleasure, arching your back into him. “just hold onto my waist, okay? tell me if it’s too much.” 

keeping your pace steady, you moved up and down on his cock, hands wrapped behind his neck. “mngh- so fucking good, pup. filling me up so well.” you continued riding jaehee until his moans got more frequent, telling you he was close. 

you dismounted from jaehee’s lap, pulling his cock out from your pussy, deciding to suck him off instead. 

“come sit on the edge.” you patted the space on your bed, positioning yourself on the ground, kneeling between his legs. your mouth worked around his tip, swirling your tongue along his slit. 

“mmph! feels s’good.” he leaned back on his elbows, shutting his eyes as you took his whole length in your mouth. “fuck, i’m gonna cum, y/n-” without another word, you mouth filled his with load, shooting down your throat. 

once you had swallowed all of him, you got up from the ground, sitting beside jaehee who was panting, his chest quickly rising and dropping. his arms wrapped around you hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. but you leaned into his body, giving him more confidence to hold you properly. 

“did so good for me, pup.” you held his face with one hand, pressing a kiss to his face, while the other tangled in his hair. “thanks, jae.” 

his face was flushed, barely comprehending what you were saying. “y-yeah…” 

“c’mon, let’s go shower, baby.” your hands slid from his face down to his abdomen, tracing faint lines over his abs, leaving him all shy under your touch. 

but he couldn’t say anything, all he could think about was how good you felt around him. he eagerly nodded, letting you pull him to the bathroom. 

by the time you and jaehee had finished showering, you had gotten tired, ready to take a nap. but it seemed like jaehee was still thinking about helping you finish your work. 

“so… do you still need help with your coursework?” he asked timidly. 

you chuckled at his nervousness, shaking your head. “it’s fine, i wanna go to sleep.” you extended your arms out to him, signalling him to come closer. “c’mere, you’re warm.” 

you don’t notice it at first. you’re in the middle of a conversation—laughing, nodding, genuinely immersed. when you finally glance back, there he is. your boyfriend, sion. hands tucked into his pockets, expression unreadable, jaw clenched just enough to give him away.

you excuse yourself without fully interrupting the person you were talking to and call out to him. sion lets a smug little smile curve his lips.

“you look happy,” he says, easy and conversational.

“yeah,” you reply. “we were talking about—”

he nods before you can finish, stepping closer. not enough to be rude. just enough to reclaim his space, to make it clear—to you and to them—that you’re his. “did you eat?” he asks calmly. “you skipped lunch earlier.” his hand lifts, fingers brushing your cheek with practiced gentleness.

you blink, caught off guard. you hadn’t thought he’d noticed. you should know better by now—sion doesn’t miss anything about you.

“oh… no, not yet.”

“i figured,” he murmurs, that faint smile still there. “let’s grab something before you forget again.”

he takes your hand and gives the other person a reluctant little wave, polite but dismissive. they look awkward, unsure, as you’re gently pulled away.

later, when it’s just the two of you, walking through the streets toward the nearest restaurant, he listens to every word you say. when your voice trails off, he fills the silence without hesitation. “last week you mentioned that place near riku’s apartment,” he says. “small. quiet. full of things you like. we can go there next time.”

you look at him. “you remembered that?”

he shrugs, eyes fixed entirely on you. “of course i did, sugar.”

and he always does. every offhand comment, every quiet preference, every ordinary detail—you say it once, and it stays with him. to sion, every word you speak matters.

maeda riku. ( 前田陸 )

physical closeness that feels a little too casual. someone leaning in just a bit too close, taking your hand, sitting in his spot.

when you compliment someone’s confidence or attitude, he takes it personally—even if he doesn’t mean to.

being compared, even if it only happens in his head. you don’t have to say names; his mind fills in the blanks on its own.

when you defend someone a little too quickly. he’ll tease you about it later, half joking, half not.

riku’s jealousy is faster, more reactive. it sparks the instant he senses competition, even if no one else would call it that. what bothers him most isn’t the act itself, but the ease of it—how naturally someone slips into your space. he notices hands, distance, body language, tone. if someone makes you comfortable in a way that feels too effortless, he feels an immediate urge to reclaim his ground—sometimes through teasing, sometimes through exaggerated confidence.

riku hates the idea of being measured against someone else, even subconsciously, and that makes him reckless when jealousy hits. he laughs it off, jokes about it, but there’s always an edge beneath the humor—sharp enough to prove he isn’t just an option, but the right choice. riku is completely obsessed with you.

it hits him instantly—the laugh, the closeness, the way you don’t pull away. what does this guy have that’s so funny? the thought flashes hot and fast through his head. the plastic cup in his hand is already completely crushed. lucky for him, it’s empty.

“hey,” riku cuts in, a bright smile snapping into place. “what's so funny? i wanna laugh too!”

you turn, startled by your boyfriend’s sudden appearance. “oh—nothing, we were just—”

“clearly hilarious,” he says, draping an arm around your waist, possessive but casual, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “you only laugh like that when something's really good. usually my jokes.”

you elbow him lightly. “that’s not true.”

riku leans down, voice low and playful, meant just for you. “it is, doll. i pay attention to you.”

to anyone else, he’s charming. effortless. to you, there’s something sharper underneath. it’s in the way his voice gets a little louder, the way he starts listing small facts about you—details meant to prove that he knows you. better than anyone else ever could.

later, when it’s just the two of you, he bumps your shoulder with his.

“are you always this friendly?” he asks. the tone is joking, but his eyes keep flicking between you and the room.

“riku.”

“what?” he laughs, hands raised. “just asking.”

but he doesn’t give you space for the rest of the night. he stays close. fingers brushing yours. comments timed just right, loud enough to pull your attention back where he wants it.

jealousy, for him, is kinetic. it lives in movement, presence, noise. a constant performance—almost like a peacock—anything to make sure he’s seen, remembered, impossible for you to ignore.

tokuno yushi. ( 得能勇志 )

emotional intimacy like late-night conversations, shared playlists, knowing looks, it wraps around his stomach in a visceral way.

someone understanding your moods without you having to explain. that’s sacred territory to him.

when you’re comfortable being vulnerable with someone else. that unsettles him more than outright flirting ever could.

inside knowledge—someone knowing your habits, your fears, your silences. he’d rather die.

yushi’s jealousy is quiet and internal, almost invisible unless you know him well. he isn’t jealous of attention; he’s jealous of understanding. what truly unsettles him is seeing someone reach you emotionally in a way he believed was reserved only for him. shared silence. mutual comfort. the feeling of being seen without explanation—that was his territory.

when he realizes someone else has access to that part of you, he withdraws slightly—not out of spite, but confusion. he wonders if he misread the closeness, if it meant less than he thought. instead of acting possessive, he turns inward, becoming more careful with his words, more deliberate with his presence, as if he’s trying to rebuild the intimacy brick by brick, even though it was never really broken. his jealousy is soft, but it runs deep.

he notices the change before you do. his voice softens, his posture opens, the conversation flowing more calmly, more deeply than before.

yushi doesn’t interrupt—he simply steps back.

later, when the space finally clears, he sits beside you in silence. it stretches on, comfortable, but with a slight weight to it.

“you tired?” he asks, fidgeting with his hands.

“a little,” you admit, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “we ended up talking for a while.”

he nods, eyes fixed on the floor. “it looked important.”

you turn to him. “and it was. it was too serious for him.”

there’s a pause. then, quietly, “do you remember the song you told me about once? that one you always listen when you can't sleep.”

you nod, staying quiet.

“i listened to it once again last night,” he admits. “it made me think of you.”

it’s an offering. he leans closer, shoulder brushing yours, reclaiming your intimacy through memory and affection. you curl into his arms, and he rests his chin against the top of your head, holding you there as if that closeness is the only thing that ever mattered.

kim daeyoung. ( 김대영 )

competence. someone being reliable in a way that makes you fully relax in their presence.

when you rely on someone else during stressful moments instead of instinctively turning to him.

being praised for thoughtfulness—especially when that’s something he prides himself on. what is it, anyway? he’s your boyfriend. that’s part of being a good partner. still, it leaves him feeling like he isn’t doing enough.

moments when he feels replaceable. that’s the real trigger, even if he never says it out loud.

jaehee’s jealousy is rooted in usefulness and trust. he wants to be the person you lean on when things go wrong, the one who fixes problems before they surface. when someone else steps into that role—calm, capable, steady—it hits a nerve. he doesn’t resent the other person; he resents the feeling of not being unnecessary in that moment. what truly unsettles him is seeing you relax because someone else has things handled.

he masks it well, staying composed on the surface, but internally he starts questioning his worth—replaying scenarios where he could have done more, been faster, been better.

everything is already resolved by the time you notice. schedules rearranged. calls made. problems solved. the stress neatly stabilized, like it never had the chance to grow.

“you didn’t have to do all this, daeng…” you say, looking over everything he prepared.

jaehee shrugs, calm and efficient as always. “it needed to be done anyway.”

you hesitate, lips twisting slightly. “she was helping me earlier.”

“i know,” he says a little too quickly, then smooths it over. “it's fine, i like doing this for you.”

“thank you, love.” you smile and kiss his cheek.

later, when you thank him properly, his composure cracks just enough to let something real slip through.

“just... don't like it when you're stressed,” he admits quietly. “and i don't like the feeling that i'm... late.”

“late?”

he exhales. “like i should've been here first.”

there’s no anger in his voice. no blame. just resolve. he straightens almost instinctively, already thinking ahead, already planning—making sure that next time, you won’t need to rely on anyone else.

jaehee’s jealousy isn’t about possessiveness. it’s about responsibility. about proving that with him, you’re safe.

taglist. @spacejip @lyvhie @strawikus @pgwkzworld @rikuhq @kurimurii @neovisions @lovesckaiwenn @sionsdihrider @pinkoko

┆彡 RIKU [ 前田 陸 ]

truly black cat behavior

he will keep his eyes on you and step in if he senses he’s needed

but when he’s jealous, he will definitely walk up and grab your waist with a small smirk (and if they don’t get the signal, he’ll even sneak a kiss or two)

“yeah but i’m not alone here” you said, for like tenth time this night. yet, the weirdo kept on trying to get your number.

“vouch”

before you saw riku, you felt his warm hand on your hip. he slid it to the back pocket of your jeans.

“everything okay? the line to the bathroom was crazy” riku asked, starting down at the guy coldly.

“yes, i was just, uh, going” the man said. your boyfriend pressed a kiss onto your cheek and watched the stranger leave.

“and you? are you okay?” he asked. you grinned, nodding. now that he was here, you were.

┆彡 YUSHI [ 得能勇志 ]

shy observer v2

he trusts you. sometimes he’ll get pouty afterwards (no worries, kisses fix him!)

and if there’s a situation when he has to intervene, he will. calmly… intimidatingly so.

you were simply grocery shopping, you and yushi split up to make it quicker. but you’ve been stuck at the vegetable section for fifteen minutes now. you met an old friend but he seemed to be more interested if you’re single. and you kept saying you’re not.

“i really need to go. my boyfriend and i are in a hurry–“ you said.

“i don’t see him” he shrugged. just when you wanted to leave, the man grabbed your wrist.

“sir, she’s clearly uncomfortable” yushi’s voice sounded from behind you and you let out a sigh of relief.

“and you are…?” your old friend asked.

“yushi. y/n’s boyfriend. now please let her go or i’ll have to call the security” yushi said with a straight face, dead serious. the guy gave up and left quickly. you grabbed yushi’s hand and he just placed a soft kiss on your head “sorry it took so long”

┆彡 JAEHEE [ 재희 ]

in both cases he will walk up to you and the person

hand on your arm, joining the conversation and making it very clear by his cold gaze that he’s not liking the way you’re being talked to

might get shy if you tease him about it later tho >:P

you could feel jaehee’s gaze burning holes through you. the waiter at the check out clearly didn’t, though. and didn’t mind the line forming behind you, apparently.

“extra sugar in your coffee? because you’re so sweet, hm?” he winked.

“well, that one is for my boyfriend–“ you started and were startled by jaehee’s hand suddenly on your arm.

“why is it taking so long? did the card decline?” he asked coldly, staring at the worker. his jaw was clenched, clearly not in the mood. he just wanted to share a coffee with his partner.

“no, sir. just the receipt, here you go”

┆彡 RYO [ 廣瀬遼 ]

depends in which mood he’s in 😭

bc ryo can either act all silly and just … walk up and tell a fun fact abt you (“she snores so loudly in her sleep… yeah… it’s awful if you ask me”)

OR he can full on just tell them to go away

you were flattered that someone tried to flirt with you but you really had enough. you just wanted to buy a perfume for your aunt and not…

“now this floral scent would perfectly match a lovely lady like you–“ the employee furrowed their brows when they saw ryo.

“this lovely lady is a very messy eater, by the way. like, the chaos after dinner… all the food somehow ends up everywhere but the plate” ryo said, not looking away from a perfume he was testing “not the mention her face. always gotta clean it up. like a baby.”

“ryo, what are you…” you frowned, confused.

“yeah. anyway, this smells like something that an old lady would wear. so perfect” ryo pointed and smiled “she mentioned it that it’s not for her”

the employee’s face turned red - not sure if it was because of ryo’s bluntness or the fact that he failed to get your number.

┆彡 SAKUYA [ 藤永咲哉 ]

this lil motherfucker (lovingly)

you’re not gonna hear the end of it if he’s jealous 😭 but he somehow manages to make it your fault ?!

and when he gets protective, he’s ready to throw hands (usually you have to stop him. other times the other guy gets confused by the combination of saku’s cute face and aggressive tendencies)

sakuya has been watching the way the employee at the stationary store kept flirting with you shamelessly. and he didn’t like it.

he stepped in, carrying a bunch of pens.

“do you work here? can you help me instead of flirting with my pretty partner? we were just going to draw something for each other but you…” sakuya started nonchalantly and your eyes widened.

“actually, he just helped me pick the best markers” you said and sakuya shrugged.

“i have markers at home, the one you bought for me. you know, we’ve been dating for like half a year and y/n is a very lovely partner. for example…” sakuya started babbling, flustering the employee.

“there’s um, self check out. if you’re in a hurry” they said and walked away, approaching another customer. sakuya just send you a devilish grin.

masterlist <3

taglist. @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @w3bqrl ,,

@eternalgyu ,, @haecien ,, @slytherinshua ,, @bbangbies ,, @hhaechansmoless

jaehee was everything you weren’t.

some people move through the world as if it opens for them naturally. doors unlock before they reach them. conversations bend easily in their direction. even silence seems to welcome them. jaehee had always been one of those people.

in middle school, teachers adored him in the quiet, unmistakable way adults sometimes adore children who remind them that goodness can exist without effort. he stayed after class to help stack textbooks into neat piles while everyone else rushed toward the freedom of the afternoon. he carried attendance sheets to the office with both hands like it was something important. teachers trusted him with keys, errands, responsibilities that made his face brighten with shy pride.

you used to watch him from your desk near the window.

sunlight always seemed to find him somehow.

it caught in his hair when he laughed. rested against the curve of his cheek while he listened to someone speak. even then, before you knew what love was supposed to feel like, you thought there was something unfair about the way the world looked around him. softer somehow. kinder.

he was good at talking to people. good at existing around them. people leaned toward him naturally, as if drawn by warmth.

high school only sharpened that quality.

by sophomore year, everyone knew his name. upperclassmen called out to him in hallways crowded with bodies and noise. girls lingered near his desk before class started, pretending to ask him questions they already knew the answers to. teachers smiled when he walked into classrooms. even people who barely knew him spoke about him with familiarity, like he belonged to them a little.

you wondered sometimes what it must feel like to be loved so easily, because you were the opposite.

by sixteen, you had already perfected the art of disappearing.

you sat near the backs of classrooms, near windows, near exits. places where no one’s eyes landed for very long. entire school days passed without your voice surfacing once. sometimes teachers paused when handing your assignments back, a flicker of uncertainty crossing their faces while they tried to remember your name.

you understood your place in people’s lives with painful clarity. you were temporary and forgettable, the sort of person who could leave a room without disturbing the air.

and then there was jaehee.

every morning, without fail, he greeted you.

sometimes it was nothing more than a soft “good morning” as he slid into the desk beside yours. sometimes he smiled at you like he hadn’t seen you in years instead of yesterday afternoon. sometimes he tapped twice against your desk with his knuckles just to get your attention before asking whether you slept enough the night before.

small things that another person might not have remembered them an hour later, but no one had ever made an effort to notice you before. those moments stayed inside you for days.

you began looking for him instinctively. in crowded hallways, across classrooms, through cafeteria windows blurred with afternoon sunlight. when he was absent, something strange settled over your day, a quiet disappointment you hated yourself for feeling so deeply.

jaehee smiled at everyone, but it always felt different when the smile was for you. it was warmer, shyer, somehow.

you noticed it before anything else.

jaehee was effortless around other people. funny, confident, endlessly easy to love. but around you, he faltered in ways so small no one else would have seen them. he held your gaze a second too long before suddenly looking away. his ears turned pink whenever your fingers brushed while exchanging pencils. sometimes he forgot what he was saying halfway through a sentence when you smiled at him unexpectedly.

you noticed everything about him. the way he laughed more softly around you. the way he always chose the seat beside yours even when better ones were open. the way he remembered things you mentioned once months ago, small details even you had forgotten you told him.

once, during math class, he folded a page of notebook paper into a tiny star and slid it onto your desk without looking at you. you kept it inside your pencil pouch for two years.

sometimes, late at night, lying awake beneath the blue glow of your ceiling light, you wondered if he understood what he was doing to you. if he knew that every act of kindness from him lodged itself somewhere deep inside your ribs and stayed there. no one else looked at you the way jaehee did.

the night beneath the stars belonged to the two of you long before either of you admitted it aloud.

no one knew about the field behind the school where the grass bent gently beneath the wind. about the way the sky looked endless above you both while the town slept quietly in the distance. about how jaehee grew quieter after midnight, his voice softer, more careful, like honesty had begun settling into him slowly.

you remember turning toward him once and realizing he was already looking at you. not at the stars, but at you.

his expression changed the second your eyes met. something vulnerable flickered across his face so quickly it almost hurt to witness. then he blushed.

jaehee, who could speak to anyone without hesitation. jaehee, who walked through crowded hallways like he belonged there completely. jaehee, who girls fell in love with without trying. he looked at you like you were the one capable of undoing him.

you thought about that look for months afterward.

you and jaehee graduated high school carrying your secret carefully between you like something fragile.

no one knew how much he adored you, or the paper stars hidden inside your belongings. about the notes he passed during class just to make you smile. about the silence that fell over him whenever you touched him unexpectedly. about the way he once walked you home without saying more than three sentences because you had grabbed his hand first and he was too nervous to think clearly afterward.

no one knew the boy everyone loved looked at you like you were something precious.

maybe the saddest thing was that neither of you said anything about it.

after the graduation ceremony ended, people flooded the field in waves of noise and laughter. parents carried flowers. cameras flashed endlessly beneath the summer heat. you stood there feeling strangely detached from all of it until you saw jaehee searching through the crowd.

the moment he found you, his entire face lit up. you felt it somewhere deep in your chest, like sunlight breaking through clouds after days of rain. you think part of you understood then that you would spend the rest of your life looking for him too.

neither of you expected to end up at the same university, but somehow, impossibly, you did.

college changed you in quiet ways. for the first time in your life, people learned your name quickly. girls on your dorm floor knocked on your door just to ask if you wanted to get food with them. you almost never ate alone anymore. you laughed more easily. you stopped shrinking yourself quite so much. you were happy.

still, every beautiful thing eventually led your thoughts back to jaehee.

sometimes you caught yourself smiling during conversations only to remember the first time he had seen you smile properly in high school. the way his expression froze for half a second. the blush spreading slowly across his cheeks afterward.

“you should smile more,” he had murmured back then, almost embarrassed by his own honesty. “i kind of want to keep it for myself.”

you wondered if he still remembered saying that. you wondered where he was now, if he still laughed too softly when he was nervous, if girls still fell in love with him everywhere he went. if he would recognize your smile now.

early autumn, the university showed a movie in the football stadium. students covered the football field in blankets and hoodies and paper cups filled with soda. the giant stadium screen cast flickering light over hundreds of faces while cold air drifted slowly through the night.

knowing the field was enormous, jaehee told himself there was no possibility the girl sitting beside him could be you. the girl beside him laughed easily and was confident. she sat surrounded by friends, warm beneath the stadium lights, looking like someone who belonged exactly where she was. you didn’t look lonely anymore.

you laughed, and he knew instantly.

after that, he barely watched the movie at all. he watched the light move across your face instead. he watched you tuck your knees closer to your chest when the wind picked up. watched you lean toward your friends while laughing. watched your smile appear and disappear in the glow of the screen like something painfully familiar.

by the time the movie ended, his heart was beating so hard it almost made him feel sick.

students began packing up blankets around you. conversations rose and scattered across the field. somewhere nearby, someone was singing drunkenly off key.

you gathered your things slowly, preparing to follow your friends out through the crowd when a pair of shoes appeared in front of you.

“yn?” he said your name carefully, like he had been carrying it around inside himself for years. he held out his hand toward you.

“jaehee?” your voice sounded smaller than you intended, almost fragile against the noise surrounding you.

for a moment, neither of you moved. you felt suspended somewhere between memory and reality, staring at the boy who had once occupied every quiet corner of your life.

he smiled the same smile that used to ruin you in classrooms and hallways and beneath midnight skies.

“this is crazy,” he said softly, laughing under his breath.

you couldn’t answer. you were too busy realizing that after all this time, he was still looking at you like finding you mattered.

jaehee clears his throat softly, fingers tightening for a second around the strap of his bag. “um,” he says, laughing under his breath in that nervous way you don’t remember him ever doing in high school. “do you maybe wanna get something to eat?”

he gestures vaguely over his shoulder toward the parking lot. “i drove.”

something inside you stumbles. your heart suddenly feels too large for your body, pressing hard against your ribs like it’s trying to escape. before you can overthink yourself into saying no, before the quieter, more frightened parts of you can interfere, you nod. “okay.”

behind you, your friends exchange looks immediately. one of them lifts her brows with obvious curiosity while another tries and fails to hide a smile. normally you would have noticed. normally embarrassment would have spread through you too quickly to ignore.

but all you can focus on is jaehee waiting for you.

the parking lot smells faintly like cold pavement and autumn leaves. the night air has sharpened while you were sitting on the field, and your hands feel chilled against the sleeves of your sweater. jaehee walks half a step beside you, close enough that your shoulder brushes his once accidentally.

his car is warmer than outside, carrying the faint scent of laundry detergent and something distinctly him beneath it. you sit carefully in the passenger seat while he starts the engine, fingers tapping once against the steering wheel like he’s trying to steady himself. for a while, neither of you says much.

streetlights slide across his face in intervals while he drives. gold, shadow, gold again. the city outside the windows feels strangely distant, blurred at the edges. you keep stealing glances at him when you think he isn’t looking.

the diner he takes you to sits near the edge of campus beneath a flickering neon sign that buzzes faintly against the dark. inside, the air smells like coffee, syrup, grease, warmth.

jaehee holds the door open for you automatically, and you thank him too quietly. he slides into the booth across from you, and the vinyl creaks beneath his weight. for a second neither of you reaches for the menus. you just look at each other.

his smile still hasn’t disappeared. it’s the same smile.

“so,” he says finally, leaning back slightly. “you ended up here too.”

you lower your eyes toward the menu to avoid looking at him too directly. his gaze still affects you too easily. warmth creeps slowly into your cheeks under the weight of it.

“how’s it been?” he asks. “settling in, i mean.”

you trace your thumb absentmindedly along the laminated edge of the menu.

“it’s good,” you say quietly. “i’m happy here.”

then, after a second: “i think i’m doing okay.”

jaehee’s expression softens immediately. “i’m glad,” he says, and there’s something painfully sincere about the way he says it. “really.”

you don’t think anyone has ever looked this relieved to hear you’re happy. it makes you nervous in a way that feels almost unbearable. sitting across from him like this feels strangely unreal, like stepping back into a dream you already abandoned. except now he feels a bit older, taller. his voice sits deeper in his chest when he speaks. and he’s still looking at you with that same careful attention that once kept you awake at night.

you realize suddenly that your hands are trembling slightly beneath the table.

“how about you?” you ask quickly, mostly to redirect your thoughts. “how was your summer?”

jaehee laughs softly. the sound settles somewhere deep inside you immediately, familiar enough to ache.

“it was alright,” he says. “pretty boring, honestly.”

he glances toward the window for a second before looking back at you again. “college has been fun though. weird too.”

he smiles faintly. “everyone talks about freedom before you get here, but i didn’t really get it until now. suddenly nobody tells you what to do anymore. you can stay awake until four in the morning if you want. skip class. eat cake for dinner.”

you laugh quietly. his face brightens a little at the sound.

“i probably sound stupid,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “sorry. i’m just…” he hesitates. “really nervous right now.”

you blink. “you’re nervous?” the smile tugging at your mouth grows before you can stop it. “the jaehee?”

he groans softly and drops his head for a second, laughing into his hand. “don’t say it like that.”

“like what?”

“like i’m some guy.”

you look at him for a moment longer than you mean to. to you, he always had been.

jaehee lifts his eyes again eventually, and this time there’s something quieter inside them. something honest.

“if i’m being really honest,” he says slowly, “i never thought i’d see you again.”

the noise of the diner seems to blur faintly around the edges after that.

plates clatter somewhere nearby. a waitress laughs at something near the counter. outside the windows, headlights sweep past in streaks of pale light. but all you can focus on is him.

“ever,” he adds quietly.

his fingers drum once against the table before stilling again.

“seeing you tonight kind of feels like…” he exhales through a soft laugh. “i don’t know. like i got handed a second chance or something.”

you stare at him. “me?”

the word leaves your mouth before you can stop it. somewhere inside yourself, despite everything changing, despite college and new friends and becoming someone easier to love, part of you still believes you are fundamentally forgettable. still believes you were simply the quiet girl from the back row.

jaehee looks at you like the question itself pains him.

“yeah,” he says gently. “you.” his expression shifts then, becoming thoughtful.

“i always wished i talked to you more in high school.”

you feel your pulse quicken. he looks down briefly before continuing.

“i think i was scared.” the confession lands softly between you, almost shy.

you think about the boy you used to watch laughing easily with everyone around him. the boy who seemed completely untouched by fear.

and somehow, impossibly, he had been afraid of you too. or maybe not afraid of you exactly. afraid of wanting you too much.

“i’d really like to see you again,” he says after a while.

his voice has gone quieter now. steadier.

“after tonight, i mean.” he smiles a little, almost embarrassed by his own sincerity. “if you want.”

you lower your eyes because looking at him directly feels dangerous suddenly. your throat tightens unexpectedly.

when you finally manage to nod, his entire face brightens in a way that makes your chest ache. like you’ve just given him something important.

after that night, you and jaehee stop going a single day without speaking.

it happens naturally.

first texts that stretch later into the night than either of you intend. then phone calls while walking back from class. then dinners together, study sessions, wandering through convenience stores at midnight because jaehee suddenly wanted ice cream.

he slips into your life so easily it frightens you sometimes. like he had always belonged there.

you begin noticing things about him constantly.

not dramatic things, but small things. the way he always slows his walking pace without mentioning it so you can keep beside him comfortably. the way he remembers your favorite drink order after hearing it once. the way he listens to you with his entire attention, like your thoughts deserve space in the world.

his kindness is effortless.

that’s what unsettles you most. it isn’t performative kindness, not the kind people wear so others will praise them for it. jaehee’s kindness exists quietly, naturally, in the background of everything he does.

like breathing.

sometimes he reaches for your hand absentmindedly while talking and doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing it. sometimes he looks at you with such open fondness that you have to glance away first. sometimes you catch him staring when he thinks you aren’t paying attention.

those moments affect you more than they should.

because the few scraps of affection you received from him in high school once felt powerful enough to survive on for months. this is different. this is constant, deeper. more terrifying.

one evening you lie beside him in his dorm room while rain taps softly against the windows. your head rests against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm beneath your ear while his fingers drift lazily through your hair.

the room smells faintly like detergent and coffee. his roommate isn’t home.

everything feels unbearably peaceful. you stare at the dim light pooling across the ceiling and think, suddenly, that happiness always feels temporary when you finally touch it. like something borrowed.

“what are you thinking about?” jaehee asks quietly.

you tilt your face slightly toward him. he brushes a strand of hair away from your forehead with such gentleness it almost hurts. you smile faintly. “how happy i am right now.”

he hums softly. “you always say that.”

“because i never thought this would happen to me.”

jaehee smiles in that fond, helpless way he does whenever you say something that breaks his heart a little. “you always say that too.”

his hand settles against the side of your face. after a moment, he speaks again, quieter this time. “i’ve liked you for a really long time, yn.”

your chest tightens.

“remember what i told you the night we met again?”

you nod slowly against him. “that it felt like you got a second chance.”

“yeah.”

he looks down at you then with an expression so soft it almost feels sacred. “i think maybe we were always supposed to find each other again.”

your throat aches unexpectedly.

“i like you too much for it not to be you.”

the words settle inside you slowly. you push yourself up slightly so you can look at him properly.

his eyes are sleepy and affectionate beneath the dim room light. his hair falls softly across his forehead. he looks at you like you are something worth protecting.

“i like you a lot too, daeng,” you whisper.

his smile appears instantly. then he kisses you slowly and gently the way he always does, like he’s afraid of rushing something precious.

his thumbs brush softly against your cheeks while he kisses you, and suddenly you can feel all of it at once. all the love sitting quietly inside him. all the care. all the tenderness he gives you so naturally.

it overwhelms you. your chest tightens painfully. before you realize it, you’re pulling away. the distance appears between you too quickly.

jaehee stills immediately.

you look down instead of at him, settling your head back against his chest like hiding there might save you from explaining yourself. because some part of you still cannot understand how someone like him could love you this gently without eventually regretting it.

his hand hesitates briefly before returning to your hair. careful, always so careful with you.

“can we play xbox now?” you ask softly after a while. you force yourself to smile a little when you look up at him. jaehee smiles back, but this one is smaller. fainter around the edges.

without saying anything, he sits up and reaches for the controller across the room before placing it carefully into your hands. you hate the guilt that arrives immediately afterward. hate the way disappointment flickers across his face even when he’s trying to hide it from you.

when he starts to move away from the bed, you catch his wrist gently. “you’re not playing with me?”

“you can start without me,” he says. his voice remains soft. it’s always soft with you.

“i’m making our reservation for saturday.”

“reservation?” you blink up at him. “for what?”

he glances back over his shoulder. “that steak place downtown.”

you stare at him for a second, then laugh quietly. “baby,” you murmur, “it’s only our three month anniversary.”

jaehee’s expression changes immediately. serious now. earnest in that way that always catches you off guard. “yeah,” he says simply. “and i waited two years to have you properly.”

your heart stumbles again.

he looks at you for another second before speaking more quietly. “i want to celebrate every month i get with you.”

something warm unfolds slowly inside your chest. you always knew jaehee was romantic in the quiet ways that mattered. but sometimes his sincerity still catches you unprepared, arriving so honestly that you don’t know what to do with it.

you look down at the controller in your lap so he won’t see how affected you are.

“you’re too lovely for me,” you mumble eventually.

he hears you anyway. of course he does.

the dinner happens a week later.

even before jaehee arrives, you know you look beautiful. not in an arrogant way, but quietly. your curls fall perfectly for once. your dress fits like it belongs to you. when you look at yourself in the mirror, you almost understand what jaehee sees.

almost.

when he picks you up, he stops walking for half a second after the door opens. then he smiles so brightly you feel shy immediately. he’s holding flowers. of course he is. somehow they match your dress perfectly.

“wow,” he says softly. the word leaves him like breath. he presses a kiss against your cheek before you can respond, lingering just long enough to make your pulse flutter.

“every time i see you,” he murmurs near your ear, “i feel like the luckiest guy alive.”

you spend the entire drive trying not to smile too hard.

inside the restaurant, warm golden light pools across polished tables and wine glasses. jaehee keeps his hand against your waist while walking beside you, fingers spread gently like he wants reassurance you’re really there.

you like how small you feel next to him. safe, somehow. like if the world became too loud, he would quietly move in front of you and soften it.

the waiter seats you near the corner by a dim lamp and asks casually whether you’re celebrating anything special tonight.

before you can answer, jaehee says:

“our one year anniversary.”

your eyes widen immediately.

the waiter congratulates you warmly while jaehee squeezes your hand beneath the table like he’s trying not to laugh. once the waiter leaves, you stare at him across the candlelight. “why would you say that?”

he shrugs easily. “it’s not technically impossible.”

you laugh despite yourself. he watches you the entire time like your happiness is something worth memorizing.

later, when the food arrives, jaehee cuts your steak for you without thinking much about it. you find yourself staring at his hands. then his wrists. then the shape of his forearms beneath the rolled sleeves of his sweater.

before you can stop yourself, the words slip out. “everything about you is attractive.”

jaehee looks up immediately, caught off guard. “oh?”

you nod, suddenly unable to become shy about it. “your hands. your arms. your face.” you pause. “everything.”

he stares at you for a second like he can’t fully process what he’s hearing. then he laughs softly. “it’s good to know you actually like me too.”

your chest twists strangely at the joke.

“what?”

the word leaves you more quietly than intended. because haven’t you been trying to show him? haven’t you been loving him with everything you have?

before you can ask what he means, another voice interrupts, bright and familiar.

“jaehee?”

your stomach drops instantly.

you recognize her before she even fully steps toward the table.

she was beautiful in high school in the effortless kind of way that made other people rearrange themselves around her. teachers adored her. classmates orbited her naturally. she always seemed lit from within somehow. the sort of girl who belonged beside someone like jaehee.

she smiles at you politely, but you know immediately she doesn’t remember you at all.

jaehee smiles back easily. “hey. wow, it’s been forever.”

while they speak, you sit quietly beside him, hands folded carefully in your lap.

you remember her laughing with him in classrooms years ago, and how naturally they occupied the same spaces. she tells him about the nearby college she attends now. tells him she noticed him from across the restaurant and almost couldn’t believe it.

then jaehee turns toward you without hesitation. “it was nice seeing a familiar face again,” he says, smiling softly at you.

your chest tightens.

the girl blinks. “wait,” she says. “you two knew each other before?”

“yeah,” jaehee says immediately. “you remember yn.”

she looks at you apologetically, blankly. “i don’t think i do,” she admits.

then, after a second:

“but i definitely would’ve remembered someone this pretty.”

you smile politely because it feels expected.

jaehee laughs under his breath. “we all had math together for like two years.”

“it’s okay,” you say quietly. “i was really shy back then.”

the girl’s expression softens.

“that’s such a shame,” she says. “we probably would’ve been friends.”

you nod politely again even though you know that isn’t true.

girls like her didn’t notice girls like you back then, not really. people like you now because you learned how to become easier to love. you learned how to speak more clearly. smile at the right moments. dress better. hide the lonelier parts of yourself beneath prettier ones.

after she leaves, something inside you shifts quietly.

your appetite disappears. you push food around your plate while jaehee talks, still smiling softly at you from across the table, completely unaware of the spiral beginning beneath your skin.

because suddenly all you can think is this:

someone like him should be with someone like her, bright and effortless who shines naturally in every room they enter. not someone who spent most of her life trying to disappear.

the next week, the thoughts return so quietly you almost mistake them for instinct.

they arrive while you’re brushing your teeth in the morning. while waiting for your coffee to cool. while staring at yourself in bathroom mirrors too long. small thoughts at first, harmless enough on their own.

someone like him should be with someone brighter, someone easier. someone who doesn’t have to think so hard about being loved.

you try to ignore them.

but thoughts like that rarely disappear once they find somewhere comfortable to live.

the library is louder than usual that afternoon.

someone nearby keeps laughing too hard at things that aren’t funny, and every few minutes a chair scrapes loudly against the floor. sunlight filters weakly through the tall windows, turning the dust in the air gold for a second before it disappears again.

you sit beside jaehee at the long wooden table while his friends spread notebooks and laptops around you in messy piles.

you only came because he asked. because when jaehee looks at you hopefully and says come with me, it becomes difficult to say no to anything.

still, by the time you arrive, you can already feel yourself rationing energy carefully inside your own body. measuring out pieces of your attention. saving enough warmth for him so he won’t notice how tired your mind feels lately.

jaehee, meanwhile, looks completely natural here.

he leans back in his chair laughing at something one of his friends says, eyes crinkling softly at the corners. people speak over each other constantly around him, conversations splitting and reconnecting like tangled strings, but somehow he keeps up with all of it effortlessly.

you watch him while pretending to read over your notes. you’ve always loved seeing him like this, comfortable and wanted. people gravitate toward him without realizing they’re doing it. his presence softens rooms. fills silence naturally. even now, surrounded by loud voices and overlapping conversations, everyone still seems faintly tuned toward him, waiting for his reaction, his laugh, his attention.

you realize suddenly that you still don’t know how to exist like that.

you thought maybe college had changed you more than it actually had.

but sitting here beside people who speak so easily, who interrupt each other confidently and take up space without apology, you feel that familiar shrinking sensation beginning again inside your chest. like everyone else learned something about living that you somehow missed.

the conversation shifts toward bad professors. someone across the table complains dramatically about a chemistry lecture, and another person immediately joins in. everyone begins talking at once.

you open your mouth carefully. “i had a professor like that too last semes—” your voice disappears beneath the noise almost instantly.

nobody notices. the conversation keeps moving forward without pausing long enough for you to catch up again.

heat crawls slowly up your neck. you lower your eyes toward your notebook and pretend not to mind.

then, gently, someone nudges your arm. “you did?”

you look up. jaehee is already watching you. his chin rests loosely against his hand, expression soft with attention, like your unfinished sentence was the most important thing he heard all afternoon.

your chest tightens unexpectedly.

“yeah,” you mumble. suddenly your throat feels too dry to continue. you hadn’t even realized he was listening to you at all.

his eyes linger on your face for another second. “you okay?” he asks quietly.

he leans closer when he says it, voice dropping instinctively softer for you than it is for anyone else.

your pulse stutters painfully.

he’s always like this, paying attention and noticing the smallest shifts in you before anyone else can.

immediately the questions begin again, cruel and familiar.

do you deserve someone who looks at you this carefully?

is this really love, or is jaehee simply kind enough to make anyone feel special?

how could someone like him possibly want someone like you this much?

what exactly did he see in you all those years ago?

“jesus,” one of his friends groans suddenly from across the table. “you two are disgusting.”

everyone laughs.

“seriously,” another says. “i can’t even focus with all the staring.”

you feel your face burn instantly. jaehee only smiles. not embarrassed or defensive—just quietly pleased. he glances toward you again afterward, eyes warm in that unbearable way they always are.

“how’d you guys even meet?” someone asks a second later.

you instinctively part your lips to answer, but jaehee speaks first.

“i liked her forever in high school,” he says simply. the words land so casually that for a second nobody reacts.

then someone whistles dramatically across the table.

jaehee laughs under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “we just didn’t start dating until last semester.”

he looks at you when he says it. directly at you. like even now, after finally having you, the fact still feels unreal to him.

“crazy, right?”

the conversation shifts again almost immediately after that. someone starts talking about dorm parties. someone else complains about midterms. laughter rises and falls around you in waves, but you barely hear any of it. because your chest still aches strangely from hearing him say it aloud so easily.

i liked her forever.

as if loving you had always been obvious to him.

jaehee keeps checking on you throughout the afternoon.

small glances, small touches. his knee brushing yours beneath the table. his hand sliding absentmindedly across the back of your chair.

every time he laughs, his eyes find you automatically afterward, like some part of him needs to make sure you’re still there too. and somehow, that only makes the ache inside you worse. because the more openly he loves you, the less you understand why.

the change begins quietly after that.

it happens so quietly neither of you fully notice it at first.

it starts with your kisses. not the kisses themselves, exactly, but the endings of them.

where you once melted easily into him, now something in you hesitates. your lips still meet his softly, your hands still curl against his sweater, but the moment his affection becomes too visible, too sincere, panic flickers somewhere deep inside your chest.

you pull away earlier now. sometimes right when his hands settle at your waist. sometimes when his thumbs brush too tenderly against your cheeks. or when he kisses you with too much feeling and you suddenly cannot bear being looked at so lovingly.

every time, jaehee pauses, but he never complains. he only presses his forehead gently against yours afterward, breathing quietly while he waits for you to settle again.

like he’s afraid of startling you. like he thinks patience alone might protect whatever fragile thing has started forming between you.

then your texts begin changing too.

once, your conversations stretched endlessly into the night. rambling thoughts. blurry photos. voice messages filled with half-finished sentences and laughter.

now your replies grow shorter without meaning to.

i’m okay.

just tired.

miss you too.

the words still say the right things, but something inside them has thinned. even you can feel it.

jaehee notices too.

late at night, lying alone in bed, he rereads your messages searching for signs he missed earlier. some hidden shift in tone, or some mistake he made accidentally, but he can’t find one.

when you’re together, you seem present and distant at the same time. you still smile at him, but your smiles disappear faster now.

sometimes you sit curled beside him with your hands folded tightly in your lap, shoulders slightly hunched inward, unconsciously trying to make yourself smaller again. jaehee notices that too. he notices everything about you.

the way you say you’re tired more often lately. the way your eyes drift somewhere unreachable in the middle of conversations. the way you rest against his chest without fully relaxing into him anymore. like part of you remains tense even in his arms.

“you okay?” he asks one evening while brushing his fingers through your hair. always gently. always softly.

you nod too quickly.

“yeah,” you whisper. “i’m fine.”

jaehee wants to believe you, so he does. or at least he tries to.

but afterward he starts holding you longer when you hug him goodbye. starts kissing your forehead more carefully. starts watching your face when he says something affectionate, like he’s trying to memorize where your reactions changed.

when you pull away from kisses now, he lets you. even though disappointment flashes briefly across his face before he hides it again, because hurting you is the last thing he ever wants to do.

at night, when you fall asleep curled beside him, jaehee stays awake longer than usual.

the room remains dark except for the faint glow of streetlights slipping through the blinds.

he listens quietly to your breathing against his chest. he counts the slow rise and fall of it and wonders when exactly you started feeling so far away from him.

he doesn’t know the reason yet. he only knows something inside you is hurting and whatever it is, you’ve decided to carry it alone.

being home again feels wrong in a way you can’t properly explain.

nothing here has changed.

the same framed photos still line the hallway walls. the same clock in the kitchen ticks too loudly at night. even the air feels identical to the one you left behind months ago, heavy and still and impossible to escape once it settles inside your lungs.

your childhood bedroom looks smaller now, or maybe you’re the one who changed.

when your parents mention driving an hour away to visit relatives for the weekend, you shake your head before they even finish asking.

“i’m just not really feeling up to it,” you murmur.

they accept the answer easily.

you’re grateful for that because the truth is you can already feel yourself unraveling here. being back home resurrects parts of yourself you thought you left behind when you moved away for college.

the loneliness returns first, then the silence. you’d forgotten how loud silence could become in this house.

during high school, entire afternoons used to pass without anyone saying your name once. you remember sitting alone in your room while daylight slowly disappeared outside your window, feeling time stretch endlessly around you like something living.

you remember walking through school hallways convinced nobody would notice if you vanished midway through the day.

you remember sitting beside classroom windows watching seasons change outside while your own life remained painfully still.

except for him.

jaehee existed in those memories like warmth exists inside winter. small at first, then suddenly everywhere. you remember the sound of his voice saying good morning to you each day like it was the most natural thing in the world.

you remember how shocking it felt the first time someone looked genuinely happy to see you.

how his smile reached you before his words ever did. soft, bright, real. there were mornings when that smile alone carried you through entire days.

sometimes you think jaehee saved your life without realizing it.

you squeeze your eyes shut against the thought. because lately, you barely see him smile at all. and the worst part is knowing exactly why.

you.

the realization settles slowly inside you, cold and permanent. you think about the way he watches you now—carefully. like he’s trying not to startle something wounded.

you think about how often concern flickers across his face these days. how he hesitates before touching you sometimes, like he’s become afraid of pushing too hard and losing you completely.

you think about the exhaustion hidden underneath his gentleness lately. the dimness slowly replacing his light. he shouldn’t have to love someone this carefully.

jaehee was never meant to become cautious.

he was born to exist brightly, to laugh loudly in crowded rooms. to love freely without fear. and now every soft thing he does feels restrained by the possibility of hurting you. especially not for someone like you.

outside, rain has been falling since morning. the kind that seems furious with the earth itself. it slams against the windows relentlessly, turning the sky dark enough that afternoon resembles evening. the entire house feels submerged beneath gray light.

you sit on the edge of your bed holding your phone in both hands. jaehee’s name glows softly against the screen. your thumb hovers above it.

i need to let him go.

the thought arrives quietly. because if you love someone properly, shouldn’t you want what’s best for them?

even if what’s best means losing them?

your chest aches so badly it feels difficult to breathe.

you stare at his name one second longer before there’s a knock at your door. your entire body freezes.

another knock.

your heartbeat lurches painfully against your ribs as you stand. somehow, before opening the door, you already know it’s him. jaehee stands on the other side completely soaked through.

for a second, you can only stare.

rainwater drips steadily from his hair onto the porch beneath him. his shirt clings damply against his skin, his jacket heavy and dark with water. he’s breathing hard enough that his chest rises unevenly beneath the fabric.

he ran here.

your first instinct is immediate and overwhelming—hold him, pull him inside. wrap your arms around him and apologize for every terrible thing your mind has convinced you of these past few weeks. instead, guilt crashes into you just as quickly. the look on his face already tells you you’ve hurt him more than you realized.

“jaehee?” your voice comes out smaller than intended. “did you run here?”

without thinking, you lift your hand toward his face. toward the rainwater sliding down his skin. toward him.

but halfway there, you stop yourself. your fingers curl inward, your arm falls back to your side.

something inside jaehee visibly crumples at the sight. he closes his eyes briefly, lips pressing together hard enough to tremble, like even that small hesitation wounded him.

when he opens his eyes again, they look unbearably tired.

“i can’t do this anymore, yn.”

your stomach drops instantly. there it is. the ending you’ve been preparing yourself for. still, hearing it aloud feels like stepping off something tall unexpectedly.

“you…” your voice catches painfully. “you can’t do this anymore?”

tears sting immediately behind your eyes. jaehee drags both hands down his soaked face. “i can’t,” he says again, but this time his voice breaks apart halfway through the sentence. “i can’t.”

rain hammers against the roof around you. somewhere in the distance, thunder rolls low across the sky.

“come inside,” you whisper desperately. “please. let’s just talk inside.”

“no.” he shakes his head instantly. water flicks from his hair with the motion. “i’m not going inside until you tell me what i did wrong.”

you stop breathing. for a second, you genuinely think you misheard him. “…what?”

his expression twists. “i did something wrong,” he says, voice cracking open completely now. “right? that’s why you’ve been pulling away from me?”

he swallows hard. “that’s why you don’t like me anymore?”

your heart breaks so suddenly it almost feels physical. out of every possible explanation, that’s the one he chose. that you stopped loving him.

“do you still like me, yn?” he asks quietly. the hope in his eyes almost destroys you. small, fragile, still there anyway.

you open your mouth. nothing comes out. the silence stretches too long. you watch the exact moment something inside him dims.

he laughs weakly then, but the sound barely resembles one. “okay,” he says softly, nodding to himself more than to you. “okay. i’m sorry for coming here. i shouldn’t have.”

rainwater mixes with tears on his face so completely you can’t separate them anymore.

“just pretend this never happened.” he turns and starts walking back into the storm.

“jaehee.” your voice disappears beneath the rain.

he keeps walking. panic tears through you instantly.

“jaehee!” louder this time.

your body moves before your thoughts can catch up. you run after him into the rain without shoes, without a jacket, without caring how cold it feels. water soaks through your clothes immediately. “jaehee!”

finally he stops and turns around slowly. the expression on his face steals the air from your lungs. he looks devastated.

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you cry. the words barely leave your mouth before sobs begin shaking through you.

jaehee’s face twists. “then talk to me,” he pleads. “please. just tell me where all of this went wrong.”

you want to move closer to him. you want to let him hold you. shame keeps your feet rooted painfully in place.

“i never meant to hurt you,” you whisper through tears. “i’m just not good for you, daeng.”

his brows pull together immediately, like the sentence itself makes no sense to him. “…what?”

rain pours down both of you mercilessly now.

“since we started dating,” you sob, “you’re the only one who’s been happy because of this. all i do is make you worry. you’ve become this…” your voice cracks violently. “this shell of yourself around me.” you can barely breathe anymore. the words spill out too quickly to stop now.

“the smile that made me fall in love with you is gone because of me.”

jaehee’s face crumples completely.

“being back here made me realize something,” you continue shakily. “back then, seeing you every day was the only reason i wanted to go to school at all.” your shoulders shake violently.

“just thinking maybe you’d say hi to me that morning meant everything.” a broken laugh escapes you.

“your smile represented a life worth living to me, jaehee.”

his eyes shine instantly.

“and now i’m the reason you barely smile.” you wrap your arms around yourself instinctively, trying to contain the shaking inside your body.

“someone like you shouldn’t be with someone like me.” the sentence tastes old and familiar, like something you’ve believed your entire life.

“you deserve someone brighter. someone unforgettable. someone who shines the way you do.”

your voice drops into something smaller. “not someone this easy to lose.”

“yn,” jaehee says desperately, closing the distance between you in two quick steps. “you’re not making any sense.”

his hands cup your face despite the rain. warm even now. gentle even now.

“you were the reason i smiled back then, too,” he says.

his voice breaks halfway through.

“you know that, right?”

you shake your head immediately because no—how could that possibly be true?

“no,” he says quickly, reading your expression instantly. “no, you couldn’t have known. but i need you to hear me now.” his hands tremble slightly against your cheeks.

“i need you to believe me.”

“i do,” you whisper automatically.

“no, you don’t.” his voice rises for the first time, raw with hurt.

“you don’t believe anything i say about you.”

rainwater clings to his lashes as he looks at you like he’s trying to reach inside your chest and pull the truth out himself.

“you have no idea what you mean to me, yn.”

“because why would someone like me mean anything to someone like you?” you cry back suddenly. the words rip out of you before you can stop them.

something inside jaehee breaks visibly at hearing them. “what does that even mean?” he asks. his voice sounds wrecked now, completely wrecked.

every terrible thought you’ve carried quietly for years begins to spill out.

“i’ve always felt small,” you sob. “like i barely exist half the time. like if i disappeared nobody would really notice.”

jaehee’s hands tighten around your face instinctively, but you keep going.

“i spent my whole life believing i was replaceable,” you cry. “that there’s always someone prettier or louder or easier to love waiting right behind me.”

your breath catches painfully in your chest. “being with you felt impossible.” your voice weakens. “like i stole happiness that belonged to somebody else.”

you look at him through blurred vision. “every morning i woke up expecting you to realize i wasn’t enough.” the confession leaves you shaking.

“you made me feel seen,” you whisper brokenly. “do you understand that? being with you is the happiest i’ve ever been in my entire life.” your body folds inward with the force of your sobbing.

“and i want to stay,” you cry. “i want to stay with you so badly. but my head keeps telling me i ruin everything i touch.”

rain streams endlessly down both your faces.

“i’m scared i’ll keep hurting you,” you whisper. “i’m scared i’ll keep pulling away until eventually you stop loving me.” your chest aches so badly it feels unbearable now. “i don’t want to be this way anymore.”

before you can say anything else, jaehee pulls you into him.

like he physically cannot stand another second with distance between you. his arms lock around you tightly beneath the rain. you feel his heartbeat slamming wildly against your cheek.

“i love you,” he says into your wet hair, certain and fierce.

“and you need to start believing that because it’s true.” his voice trembles.

“i’m not leaving you.”

you cry harder against him.

“none of those things matter to me,” he continues desperately. “the things you hate about yourself. nobody sees you the way you see yourself, yn.”

he pulls back just enough to look at you again. his eyes are red now. “everyone loves you.” the conviction in his voice hurts almost as much as the tenderness. “you’re incredible because you’re you.”

his thumb brushes shakily beneath your eye. “and i’m in love with you.”

you stare at him helplessly.

rain runs down the bridge of his nose, through his lashes, across his trembling mouth.

“i only stopped smiling because i thought i was losing you,” he whispers. “i thought i ruined us somehow.”

his forehead presses against yours. “but if you let me keep loving you…” his voice softens into something unbearably gentle. “i’ll smile again. i promise.”

something inside your chest finally gives way then, like unclenching a fist you didn’t realize you’d held for years. you nod through tears.

“you don’t have to carry everything alone anymore,” jaehee whispers.

his hands cradle your face like something precious.

“lean on me.”

rain pours around both of you endlessly.

“trust me.”

you close your eyes. for the first time in weeks, the storm inside your head quiets slightly. not gone, but quieter.

“you said you’re the only one who’s happy because of this,” jaehee murmurs. “but just being near you makes me happier than anything else in my life.” his mouth trembles into the faintest smile. “even thinking about you makes me smile.”

then he kisses you.

this time, when his love reaches for you, you don’t run from it. you let yourself stay.

you cry into the kiss and feel him doing the same, rainwater and tears blending together until neither of you can tell them apart anymore.

the storm continues raging around you, wild and alive. but held in his arms like this, you begin wondering if maybe love was never something you had to earn through becoming smaller.

maybe it was always supposed to feel like being found.

by the time you and jaehee make it back to your house, neither of you are crying anymore.

the storm still follows behind you in soft echoes. rain taps steadily against the roof while you unlock the front door with trembling fingers, the sleeves of your sweatshirt still damp at the cuffs.

you suddenly become hyperaware of everything. the sound of your breathing. the wet footprints trailing behind the two of you across the hardwood floor. the fact that jaehee is standing inside the place where you once spent years feeling painfully alone.

for a second, neither of you speak. you disappear briefly into the hallway closet and return with a towel.

“here,” you murmur softly.

jaehee takes it from you carefully, like even now he’s afraid sudden movements might scare you away again.

his fingers brush yours. warm. you can’t remember the last time touch felt this fragile. without really thinking about it, your hand slips into his. your fingers interlock naturally, automatically, and relief moves quietly through your chest when he squeezes back immediately.

you lead him upstairs.

your bedroom door creaks softly when you push it open. jaehee steps inside slowly. his eyes move across the room with quiet curiosity, taking in pieces of you that existed long before he did.

the old bookshelf beside your desk. the fading photographs tucked into the corner of your mirror. the small lamp near your bed casting everything in warm gold light. for some reason, having him here makes your chest ache.

you move toward your overnight bag quickly before you can think too hard about it.

rummaging through it, you pull out a folded sweatshirt and sweatpants. his sweatshirt. his sweatpants.

you freeze for half a second after realizing what you’ve just revealed accidentally. because of course they’re his. you brought them home selfishly, for nights when you missed him too much.

when you finally turn around and hand them to him, your cheeks already feel warm.

jaehee looks down at the clothes, then back at you. he laughs softly. not mockingly. something gentler than that. fond enough to make your stomach twist.

you look away immediately.

“i just…” you mumble, embarrassed now in a way that feels strangely domestic after everything that happened outside. “i liked wearing them.”

his expression softens so visibly it almost hurts to look at. you clear your throat quickly before the warmth in your chest becomes unbearable.

“i, um…” your voice catches awkwardly. “i don’t think i have underwear for you to change into.”

silence. then jaehee laughs again, brighter this time. his wet hair falls into his eyes slightly when he does. you think it might be the first real laugh you’ve heard from him in weeks. the sound makes something unclench inside you instantly.

“i think i’ll survive,” he says.

your face burns harder. he watches you for another second with obvious affection before finally disappearing into the bathroom to change.

the moment the door clicks shut, you exhale shakily. your room suddenly feels smaller with him inside it. more intimate. like every object surrounding you now carries the possibility of being noticed by him.

you change quickly into one of his oversized t shirts and a pair of soft shorts, pulling the fabric over your skin carefully. the shirt smells faintly like his detergent still, like him.

you don’t bother putting on a bra.

for once, the thought of being perceived by him doesn’t immediately make you panic. it only makes your heartbeat soften strangely.

jaehee steps out of the bathroom after changing. his damp hair curls slightly near his forehead. the sleeves of his sweatshirt swallow his hands halfway. you realize suddenly that you’ve never seen him look this soft before.

quietly, the two of you gather the soaked clothes from earlier. your fingers brush occasionally while stuffing fabric into the washer downstairs. neither of you let the other drift too far away for even a second.

when you return upstairs, jaehee sits back carefully against your bed frame with a tired exhale. the mattress dips beneath his weight.

his eyes drift slowly around the room again. “so this is your room,” he says softly.

you lean against your desk for a moment before smiling faintly. “the one and only.” the words leave you lighter than expected. maybe because he’s here now. maybe because this room no longer feels entirely lonely.

jaehee’s gaze lingers on you. there’s still something almost disbelieving in the way he looks at you tonight. like he keeps remembering he almost lost this. almost lost you.

“it’s nice,” he murmurs.

you shrug awkwardly. then, after a small pause, you admit quietly:

“you’re actually the only person who’s ever been in here.” you hesitate. “other than my parents.”

the room falls silent afterward.

you watch the realization settle slowly across jaehee’s face. suddenly you can tell he doesn’t know whether to smile or feel heartbroken. because to him, it means trust. but it also means loneliness. years of it.

before either of you say anything else, jaehee reaches for you. his hands slide around your waist gently, pulling you closer until you’re standing between his knees.

the movement feels instinctive. his forehead presses briefly against your stomach through the thin fabric of his shirt. for a second, neither of you move at all.

you look down at him quietly.

his hair is still slightly damp beneath your fingers when you begin brushing them through it absentmindedly. soft strokes. careful ones.

jaehee closes his eyes almost immediately at the touch.

his arms tighten around your waist.

you continue running your fingers through his hair while rain murmurs softly against the windows behind you.

and standing there in the middle of your childhood bedroom, with jaehee holding you like you’re something worth protecting, you realize this is the first time the room has ever felt warm.

the feeling makes you want to share your warmth in the only way you can think of.

you play with his hair for another minute, running the damp strands between your fingers. then you move your hands to cradle his face. the sudden gesture makes jaehee loosen his hold on your waist.

you lean down until your lips find his.

when you kiss him first, jaehee’s eyes widen in surprise. he can’t remember the last time you initiated any form of physical affection. but now your thumbs are brushing over his cheeks, and you’re kissing him with everything you have. he melts into you immediately, kissing you back with the same quiet desperation.

jaehee rises to his feet without breaking the kiss. his hands move from your face to your shoulders, then back to your waist. he gathers the fabric of your shirt in his fists as he kisses you clumsily, and your hands wander over his broad frame. when your cold fingers slip beneath the hem of his shirt and brush against his skin, his entire body shivers.

a soft groan escapes him when you flatten your palms against his bare back, pulling him impossibly close. he can feel your chest against his through both of your shirts before his grip tightens around your waist and he gently guides you backward onto the bed.

you crawl toward the pillows, your eyes never leaving his. your chest rises and falls with every breath.

jaehee pulls his shirt over his head, and you notice that he’s breathing just as hard.

the moment he climbs over you again, you’re reaching for him.

your hands move along his back for the first time in what feels like forever, tracing familiar lines as the muscles beneath your palms shift and flex. jaehee catches your bottom lip briefly between his, and your hands drift to his arms.

you’d forgotten how sturdy he is. how safe he feels.

why couldn’t you lean on him?

jaehee’s hands tremble slightly as they find the hem of your shirt. you feel the hesitation in his touch when his palms settle gently against the bare skin above your shorts. your breath catches when his thumbs begin tracing small, absent circles there.

you finally pull back just enough to rest your forehead against his.

a small smile tugs at your lips.

jaehee watches you patiently.

he’ll do whatever you want him to.

you can see it in his eyes.

slowly, you shift until you’re straddling his waist and he’s lying beneath you.

for a moment, you simply stay there.

your fingers leave light trails along his collarbone, down the center of his chest, and across the firm planes of his stomach. when you lean down, pressing soft kisses against his jaw and along the curve of his neck, quiet sounds leave him before he can stop them.

jaehee decides then that he’s entirely at your mercy.

eventually, you sit up again.

the oversized shirt pools around your hips where you’re sitting on top of him. your fingers find the hem and curl around the fabric.

before you can lift it, jaehee places his hand gently over yours.

you pause.

“yn—”

“i want to,” you blurt out.

his eyes widen slightly.

for a second, neither of you speak.

“do you want to?” you ask quietly, searching his face.

jaehee looks at you for a long moment before nodding.

“yeah,” he says softly.

you can feel jaehee growing underneath you with every inch of skin you reveal. when your shirt is fully pulled off, the brown in jaehee’s eyes are almost completely lost to his blown out pupils. you lean down just slightly, guiding your hand to your chest.

“please touch me,” you say gently. “i want to feel warm again.”

jaehee’s eyes move from your chest to your eyes.

he understands now, nodding his head again. his hands cup both of your breasts, spilling out between his fingers.

“you’re beautiful, yn,” he tells you as he cups you in his hands. you let out a soft sigh at the feeling of his hands. his groping only gets rougher as your noises encourage him.

he leans up to take a nipple in his mouth, his tongue laving the mound as his other hand pinches your other nipple.

“i love you,” he switches his attention to your other breast, and you can feel the air cooling his spit.

your hips shift forward at his words and he groans with your chest in his mouth. your hands find his hair again and keep his face buried there.

he pulls away to look at you, his pupils blown. you smile at him and lean down to find his lips again and you can feel him smile into the kiss, too.

jaehee’s hands move to your ass, pressing you against him. both of you groan at the feeling.

you’ve dry humped before, but never with both of you topless. “fuck,” you say, feeling the size his length through his sweatpants. it makes sense, for someone with jaehee’s height and build to also have a big dick. he twitches at the sound of you cursing.

jaehee maneuvers you until you’re laying down again and he’s leaning over you. he peppers kisses all over your face before his lips find your jaw and move down your throat. he sucks particularly hard where your neck meets your shoulder, then soothes the area with his tongue.

you’re whimpering his name as you feel the area dry and jaehee’s hands return to your chest. jaehee brings his forehead to rest against yours as you take one of his hands in yours and slowly drag it down your body.

when you guide his fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts, jaehee thinks he might explode. he cups your heat over your panties, feeling how damp the fabric is. “yn,” he chokes out in a strained voice, chest heaving as his fingers rubs your folds over the fabric.

“feels good,” you nod at him with a sigh.

your small sounds encourage jaehee to keep rubbing your folds. he wants to draw out more from you, speeding his fingers up. when your breathing starts to increase, jaehee’s hands move to the waistband of your shorts and panties.

“can i?” he asks you, looking deep into your eyes.

“please, jaehee,” you breathe out. jaehee rids you of your clothing and moans at the sight of you fully bare for him. he twitches in his pants when he realizes he can see your wetness coating your core. under his attention, you suddenly feel shy, turning your head away from him.

“baby, you’re beautiful,” he whispers, turning your head back towards him with a finger under your chin. too easily, your eyes find the bulge in his pants, and a small wet spot forming. the sight makes your mouth water.

jaehee leans over you again, his mouth finding yours momentarily while his fingers explore you for the first time. your whole body jerks when he touches your clit, and you feel a new wave of wetness.

“i can’t believe this is all for me,” jaehee says in awe, pulling back to look at you again. his words are in genuine amazement, completely infatuated by you.

“your body is so hot,” he continues, using his middle finger and thumb to spread you out. you moan at both his words and his touch.

his fingers spread your slick from your entrance to your folds and clit. when jaehee puts his middle finger inside of you, a moan escapes your lips. “oh my god.”

jaehee pulls his finger out just to thrust it back in. next, he adds his index finger and curls them inside of you. you’ve never felt anything like this before, and neither has jaehee.

“you’re so soft inside,” he says. his bulge is almost getting to be painful at this point, but he’s completely focused on how he’s making you feel. your walls clamp down on jaehee’s fingers, so he decided to say more. “you’re so warm, yn.”

jaehee speeds up the pace of his fingers almost immediately, and you can’t even find any words to say. the only sounds in the room are the squelching of his fingers inside of you and your broken cries and whimpers. his other hand finds it way to your chest again, and you’re completely overwhelmed by everything jaehee.

just as the winding in your stomach is almost at its peak, jaehee pulls his fingers out of you. he brings them to his mouth and you watch him suck them clean. your eyes stay on him as he moves to take off his sweatpants.

“come here,” you coo sweetly when his final garment is removed. the size of jaehee slightly intimidates you, but you’re so eager to feel him inside.

you can feel the weight of him on your stomach as he kisses you sweet and slow. you’re humming into the kiss and bring a hand down to his tip. he jerks at the feeling and bites your lip on accident. “i’m sorry,” he laughs softly, his thumb caressing your cheek as your hand spreads his precum down his shaft.

“are you ready?” he asks you with a small nod.

“yes.”

jaehee kisses your forehead and then props himself up on his elbows.

when he runs his tip along your folds, both of you twitch at the sensation. jaehee swears you feel so warm already, he isn’t sure he’ll be able to get much more than the tip in.

he heard you gasp and he paused once the tip of his cock was inside of you. he had to dig his fingers into your hips just to ground himself for a few moments.

when jaehee pushed himself deeper into you he felt as if he was going to explode, so he stilled his hips and moaned without meaning to. he had to bite back more sounds before he could speak to you.

“how does that feel?” his voice was shaking, and he swore your walls fluttered around him when he spoke to you. your eyes were screwed shut at the intrusion, waiting for the pain to give way to pleasure.

after a moment, you found the strength to speak. “it feels good, keep going.”

jaehee nodded at your wishes, pushing into you little by little. both of you moaned as he moved, new to such a foreign feeling. jaehee thinks he could die like this. he swore your body was squeezing him in so tight, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to pull out.

“let me know when it’s ok to move,” he said when he was fully sheathed. jaehee was so big and deep inside of you, you could barely process his words. you could feel him everywhere, and you’ve never felt closer to him than now.

when you let out a soft “ok,” jaehee pulls out completely. you know that he’s completely covered in you, and the realization makes your head spin.

when jaehee pushes in again, and you moan at the feeling. “so deep,” you gasp before he pulls out again.

“fuck, baby, don’t say that,” he thrusts forward and sets a slow pace, because he doesn't think he could handle much more.

your hands find jaehee’s back and pull him down to you, wanting to feel his skin on yours. both of you are moaning into each other’s mouths as his hips speed up.

“i’m close, daeng,” you breathe out, gripping his bicep.

“me, too,” his thrusts become sloppy. “where should i—”

your cries of his name cut him off as you release around him. the feeling of your walls clamping down on him spur jaehee’s own release, and you feel him spurting inside of you. jaehee stays inside of you until you’ve both calmed down.

he kisses you lazily before jerking back.

“wait, yn, i… inside—”

you giggle at his panicked eyes, pulling him back into you. “i’m on the pill, so it’s ok.”

jaehee blinks a few times before letting himself relax in your arms. “i’ll still buy you a plan b.”

“that’s very sweet.” you coo.

“i love you, yn.”

“i know, daeng. i love you, too.”

“do you really know, though?” he asked you with a playful peck on the lips.

“yeah, i can feel all of your love dripping out of me right now.”

jaehee hides his face at your words, and you laugh at his cuteness.

“i’ll clean everything up later,” he tells you. “just want to hold you right now.”

you hum. “me too. i missed you.”

jaehee’s heart skips a beat as he pulls you into him, and the two of you drift off.

a month later, you and jaehee have officially finished your first year of college.

after you submitted your final assignment, jaehee pulled you into his lap and showered you with kisses and puppy-like affection.

“jaehee!”

“what?”

“what do you mean, what?” you giggle, “what’s happening?” jaehee lands a wet kiss on your cheek. “i’m celebrating.”

his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you even closer to him.

“we can celebrate normally, you know.”

“this is normal.”

“this is an incredible amount of kisses i’m receiving.”

you brush a few bangs out of jaehee’s eyes before leaning forward to kiss his forehead. he softens under your touch.

“you know me so well,” he pouts softly. you narrow your eyes

“go ahead and tell me what you’re buttering me up for.”

“what? i would never.”

jaehee smiles at you, eyes full of adoration. it makes your heart feel warm and full.

“jaehee.”

“ok. my friend is having a little get-together to celebrate the end of the semester and i was hoping you’d come with me.”

“i see,” you push his hair back and pretend to think hard about your answer. when you tap your chin for the third time, jaehee sighs in distress.

“i guess i’ll go,” you fake sigh before grinning.

jaehee lights up. “really?”

“yeah. wouldn’t want my boyfriend to have no one to talk to, after all.”

“yeah, we couldn’t have that,” jaehee groans, playing along. “it’d be devastating.”

“tragic, even.”

“thank you for saving me,” jaehee says before buring his face into your shoulder.

the two of you arrive at jaehee’s friend's apartment, hand in hand.

“my favorite couple!” someone exclaims, and the others join in with cheers.

you find yourself smiling as jaehee gets pulled into conversations almost instantly. he looks brighter than he has in months. your chest feels warm as you watch him.

you make your way toward a group of girls gathered near the window.

halfway there, someone calls your name. you turn. it’s the girl from the restaurant, the one from high school.

she waves excitedly. “hi!”

“hi,” you answer with a surprised laugh.

“come sit with us.”

for a second, you glance across the room. jaehee catches your eye instantly, and his head tilts slightly.

you smile and nod: i'm okay.

he smiles back before somebody starts talking to him again.

the girl beside you hesitates. “i’ve actually wanted to talk to you.”

“to me?”

“yeah.”

she looks nervous now, which feels strange. once upon a time, you would've thought someone like her could never be nervous around someone like you.

“i’m sorry for not recognizing you back then.”

“really, it’s okay.”

“no, but—” she pauses. “you took care of the garden.”

you blink. “the garden?”

“behind the school.”

you stare. she laughs softly.

“i remember seeing you there all the time,” she continues. “one day after school i saw you and jaehee out there.”

you immediately laugh. “jaehee absolutely did not take care of that garden.”

“okay, maybe he mostly stood there.”

“that sounds more accurate.”

she laughs too. “i remember thinking you looked really peaceful there.”

you don't know what to say.

she fiddles with her sleeve. “i should’ve talked to you back then. i love flowers.”

“you do?”

you imagine your high school self hearing that. you don't think she would've known what to do with it. all those years, you had been so convinced nobody noticed you. and yet somebody remembered the garden, and the flowers. somebody remembered you.

“yeah.”

“why didn’t you?”

she smiles sheepishly. “i was scared.”

you blink. “scared?”

“i thought maybe it was a you-and-jaehee thing.”

you immediately start laughing. “it definitely wasn't.”

“i know that now.”

for a moment, neither of you speak. then she shrugs. “i just wanted to tell you.”

something warm settles quietly in your chest. all those years ago, you would've given anything to hear that someone noticed you. that you had occupied space in another person's memory.

“well,” you say softly, “hearing it now still makes me happy.”

her face brightens. “really?”

“really.”

you smile. “maybe we can be friends now.”

“yes,” she says immediately. “absolutely.”

by the time you've exchanged phone numbers, the knot in your chest feels strangely lighter.

across the room, jaehee watches you weaving through the crowd toward him.

“you made a friend?”

you hold up your phone. “i made a friend.”

his eyes widen dramatically. “wow.”

“don't start.”

“i'm just saying.” he reaches for your hand. “this is huge.”

you roll your eyes, but you let him intertwine your fingers anyway. “maybe you're rubbing off on me.”

“maybe.” he looks entirely too pleased with himself.

“don't get too popular.”

“why?”

“because then i'll have to start booking appointments.”

you groan. “you're really annoying.”

“that's not a no.”

“jaehee.”

he laughs when you bump your shoulder against his.

“besides,” you add quietly, “that’s impossible.”

his expression immediately turns serious. “yn, you can make as many friends as you want.”

“that’s not what i meant.”

“then what did you mean?”

for a moment, you simply look at him—at the boy who greeted you every morning, the boy who stood in the rain because losing you was never an option, the boy who taught you that being seen and being loved were not the same thing, but somehow gave you both anyway.

your fingers squeeze his hand.

“i meant,” you say softly, “how could i ever go a day without you?”

everything around you seems to fade for a second, until there's only jaehee and you. that familiar blush creeps slowly into his ears, even now.

“you still do that,” you say.

“do what?”

“blush.”

he groans immediately. “yn.”

“it’s cute.”

“please stop.”

“never.”

he laughs despite himself, and suddenly you're seventeen again. sitting beneath a sky full of stars, watching a boy who everyone loved turn pink because you looked at him for a second too long. except now, neither of you have to wonder.

you don't have to imagine what he feels. you don't have to hope he'll find you in a crowd. you don't have to spend your days wishing for one more good morning.

because he's here, with his hand in yours and his smile brighter than ever.