#be focused

I have a couple of apps that will allow you to set time limits as well as block distractions when studying :

Laptop :

• Cold Turkey (paid)

• LeechBlock (free & works on most browsers)

Phone - tablet :

• Study Bunny (free)

• Focus To-Do (also free)

• for iPhone users you can also access your screen time and manually set limits to each app (no idea about android though 😅)

वक़्त के साथ चलोगे तो पता चलेगा कौन से मोड़ पर कौन मिलेगा वर्षा होगी, पानी बहेगा मिट्टी में कीचड़ बनेगा

पानी थमेगा, बादल छितरेंगे लोग निकलेंगे और कीचड़ से बचेंगे इसी कीचड़ में जब कमल खिलेगा तो यही लोग उस कमल के चित्र खीचेंगे

“Be fucking fearless.

Have a vision

Stay hustling.

Keep your focus.

Get motivated.

Get shit done.

Live inspired.

There were times I wished that my Mom, or Tim, or the bedside nurse would stop gritting their teeth and slap Simon over the head and tell him to pull his head out of his ass.

He slept through a lot of my labor. Especially early labor, when they started to induce me. I was uncomfortable and DIDN'T sleep.

But the next morning, he was complaining about the pullout bed being uncomfortable. He didn't want to hold my hand while they put in the IV. He refused to hold my hand that had the iv in it, "That's gross!"

He DOVE out of the room when Dr. Coty said he could rupture my bag of waters and that would put us on our way to active labor. When they found meconium in the waters Simon wouldn't come near me, even though I desperately wanted him to come sit with me. I was feeling every contraction and was in a good bit of pain. I desperately wanted to bury my head into his shoulder.

He spent a lot of my labor playing on the 3DS or his phone. He watched TV. He asked how long I had been laboring. He complained that he hadn't gotten a good night of sleep, being so anxious on that horrible pull out matress. He complained about being bored. The bedside nurse suggested he bring a sleeping bag next time, somewhat testily.

Tim breezed through a couple times during the night while we were awake. Tim held my hand and helped walk me through a few beginning contractions while the baloon did it's job. I could tell he wanted to tell Simon to get his ass in gear, but Tim held his tongue.

Simon refused to hold my hands or support my torso while they inserted an epidural. It was "too much" for him. The needle was scary to him! The anesthesiologist was unimpressed, but said nothing.

While I was pushing, after the pitocin and the epidural were turned off, while our first born daughter was crowning and I was fighting to bring her into the world, he turned green and sat down in a chair. He didn't hold my hand, or help support my legs, or anything. He pulled his phone out and started playing a mobile game. He didn't cut Quinn's umbilical cord. (My Mom did that!)

Basically, Simon was the biggest, most oblivious ass he could be. He didn't mean it. He didn't realize how much his lack of support bothered me (and still does).

I have been trying my best to get him prepared for my second (and hopefully last) labor. I've been slipping sneaky education. Getting him used to blood draws, pelvic exams, ultrasounds, needles. The whole thing. I am NOT going through labor without adequate support again.

So friends. Don't be like my husband. If you ever find yourself in the position of support while your partner is in labor remember these key points:

Suck it up and be there for your partner. If they're having blood draws, catheters placed, if they're vomitting, if they're in pain, or getting tests done, be present. Be in their line of sight, hold their hand if they want that. Just. Suck it up. Set aside whatever you are feeling because tbh it is NOTHING like what your partner is going through.

Sleep when they sleep. Don't leave them to cope ALONE. Labor is INTENSE. It very often lasts longer than 24 hours. Suck it up. Your partner likely hasn't slept well for weeks or months.

If they are laboring in hospital, do not EAT in front of them. Likely they will not be allowed to eat or drink. Eating in front of a person who has already gone over 24 hours without food is torture and they WILL want to kill you.

Do not act bored. This is a marathon. It is often boring to watch because it is really waiting and stalling for time to let your partner's body do the thing. But do your best, find a way to keep your partner occupied and keep your attention on them. Do what they do, walking, swaying, whatever. Talk to them, encourage them. Tell stories. Remind them about things they want to do later.

Do not sleep. Do not watch TV. Do not play mobile games. Candy crush is not important right now. Your job is to support your partner. You aren't doing that if you aren't focused on them.