Pt1. Here

Warnings: mentions of PTSD, SA (NOT because of Jake tho), smut, fluffy ending.

Minors warning, this reading is +18, of you're not 18 or over Do Not Read.

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It's been a few months after the incident, Jake and I were given some time off at the station and we also visited a therapist for a while, the sessions ended a while ago and I'm not gonna lie, coming back felt a little different but it was nice seeing Jake joking around again with the rest of the team.

They even set up a welcome back banner and we ate cake, a cake with Gina's face on it, why? Idk but it was delicious (obviously Charles chose the place).

We were laying down in bed, everything was quiet except for our heartbeats. I felt nice, just the two of us, after coming back to work.

- how are you feeling? - he caressed my hair.

- I'm doing better, it felt really nice seeing the team today.

- I missed Boyle more than I'd ever admit to him. Did you see Terry bigger?

I laughed

- I wouldn't doubt he is. You know what's actually weird, Rosa smiled for over 10 minutes in a row. Then she just... Stopped, and went back to being herself.

- once I noticed I didn't turn to look at her anymore because it was freaking me out, between that and the fact that I got the piece of cake with Gina's eye.

He shook in disgust and I laughed.

There was a moment of silence, he looked into my eyes and smiled.

- I got the other eye, tho.

- awww, soulmates

- eye mates

We both laughed, he turned to look at me with heavy eyes and leaned in to kiss me deeper. I grabbed his face while I kissed him and he moved me completely over him.

His breathing got heavy and so did mine.

I was on top of him, kissing him deeper and deeper and just holding on to him.

His hands were on my waist, he kissed my neck softly, holding my back with both of his hands. I kissed his lips, his cheeks, his neck, grabbing everywhere, his head, his hair, his chest.

We kissed deeply and he got his hands from my back to my waist, hooking a finger taking both, shorts and underwear, at the same time to pull them down together.

But the minute I felt his fingers there I froze.

He kept kissing me, kissing my neck, holding my waist with one hand and the other pulling my clothes.

Tears formed in my eyes withouty intention, they just appeared there. He kept kissing, but I couldn't speak, not even a sound. My hand on his chest as a sign to stop, that's all I could do.

- Jake...

- I know baby, I know - he kept kissing me, up and up until he got to my lips, I guess the lack of movement there was the indicator he noticed. He backed away, with a confused face, that's when he notice.

- omg, baby - he put his hand on my cheek, pulling me into a hug - I'm so sorry, shhh, it's okay, you don't need to say anything.

The second my face hit his chest the tears starting flowing out, with a loud cry, my body shaking.

- it's okay my love, I'm so sorry, I should've ask, I should've go slower and check on you for every move I did, I'm so sorry my sweetheart - his hand caressing my hair, the other my back.

I cried, sniffled and shook there, against his chest, his warmth finally got me to calm down slowly, but my breathing was still uneven.

He kissed my head, my forehead and sometimes grabbed my hand to kiss it too. Saying the sweetest thing he could, giving me the time I needed to get it all out.

- it's okay, you're safe here my love, that's all you need to know, don't think about anything else, not a bad thought on that pretty head of yours, please, you can trust me my baby, I'm right here

- you were there too

...

- omg, I'm sorry, that sounded awful, I'm sorry - I backed away from his chest

- no... You're right, I'm so sorry for that - he grabbed my cheek

- but it's not your fault, I shouldn't have said that, Jake... - I grabbed his hand on my cheek.

- honey... If I could go back in time, well, I even told them that same day, I would've done anything I could to be the one being tortured and keep you safe, I really would - he rubbed his thumb on my cheek

His eyes started to get filled with tears.

- I know, I know you would cause I know you, I'm so sorry, that was so unfair, I kissed the inside of his hand - I love you so much, and honestly, shitty and all but at least we were together.

- and still I didn't do anything, I blame myself everyday for that, I blamed myself while I looked at you enter that room, being hurt, being tormented, I blamed myself when I saw you on that hospital bed all injured, and me totally fine next to you, I blame myself when I notice you're remembering everything, I can see it cause it's so obvious the fear in your eyes, and I blame myself today after what happened, I'm truly sorry y/n, and I hope you can forgive me cause I love you so much

- don't say those things, Jake, your only guilty of loving me too much and, well, we're both guilty for having such a dangerous job, it was a possibility, I don't blame you, I thank you for everything you've done for me, and the Patience and love you show me through this tough times... And there's nothing to forgive, I love you more...

Clover: See? It's not that hard to say something ni- oh you're vomiting

The two other images for me and @rosensilence‘s mini bang for the @kyluxbigbang In the Woods Somewhere. It’s honestly really good so I hope you guys like it!

Prompt was: