#baringteeth

Well, it's summer and we've been making zines, and then totally forgetting to post them here! Here's one of Xalli's called I WANT!

[Image Description: The cover page of this eight-page mini zine has a watercolor painting of an anatomical heart in the background, painted with a mix of different reds and lineart done in black, brown, and white. The letters I, W, A, N, T, and an exclamation mark are in front of the heart, spelling the title I WANT!

The first page has a black background, with the dissected nervous system of Harriet Cole centered in the middle. The following text in white wraps around it: ‘TO FEEL MORE ALIVE THAN THIS! LESS ALIVE? TO WAKE UP-- COOL, DRY DESERT AIR ON MY SKIN-- & BREATHE IN ITS BLESSING & KNOW ITS GOODNESS. FOR MY BODY TO BE FREE OF THE FEAR THAT CAGES IT-- KEEPS ITS COLLAR ON TIGHT & MAKES THE SKIN RAWER & REDDER EACH DAY. I NEED TO KNOW & LOVE MY BODY DEEPLY. MY GUT CANNOT JUST FALL APART, TEARING ITSELF ASUNDER WITH HUNGER WHEN MY STRESS EMPTIES IT. WHEN MY HEART IS SO WEARY MY BODY FEELS IT HAS NO CHOICE-- STOP OR BE STOPPED. WHEN I THINK IT MUST BE TAKING ITSELF APART, WITH ALL ITS PAIN. I NEED A MORE CONNECTED SELF. I MUST LIVE FULLY.’

The second page has a white background and is covered in photos of different colored pressed flowers– one pink, one purple, one light yellow and purple, one dark blue and white, one yellow, and two orange. laid over the flowers, mostly filling the space between them, is the text ‘TO BLOOM IN THIS BODY, OR MAYBE JUST FIND SOME SOLACE IN IT-- THE OLD ATLAS-- EVEN IF I FEEL PINNED DOWN-- ABSORBING WHAT IT OFFERS AND GIVING PART OF MYSELF IN RETURN.’

The third page has a white background and, in the top right corner, an odd drawing of a pomegranate that’s sort of blooming still on the tree– its tough skin peeled back to reveal seeds. In the bottom left corner, there’s a sort of abstract and wavy drawing of a sun in pink and orange. The text on the page is a dark red/pink and squeezes between the two images, saying ‘to return to a more passionate state of living-- to be in love with everything around me. to feel my love hit me like a landslide– filling and overflowing. for it to settle, shift, change until it’s a part of me. maybe, to see the sun and smile; feel its heat on my cheeks, and know that i am a cup full of so much.’

The fourth page has a white background and, in the bottom right corner, two images. One is of a little statue of a small bull that is metal and colored turquoise in many spots titled ‘Toro bebé’ by Heriberto Juarez. On the right of it is an image of a sword with the blade pointing toward the top of the page. Filling the rest of the page is text in a dark teal-green color that says ‘to feel strong-- heavyset and sturdy like an old bull, like a creature who knows itself stronger than the hunter. to feel the blade on my skin and be unafraid. to feel like a mother bear, protector, calm & loving fiercely, prepared. to be a man who takes a sword in my hand and never uses it. a woman who holds you close & lets you be weak. to be strong.’

The fifth and sixth page are a single spread, most of which is taken up by the piece ‘Knight at the Crossroads’ by Victor Vasnetsov. It depicts a knight with a shield on his back and a long spear sitting on the back of a white horse that has its head bowed, both looking at a grave. Around the grave, there is an animal and human skull, other graves with crows or ravens on them, and a crow or raven flying. Grass extends into the distance, with more graves here and there, and the sky seems like it’s likely dawn. On either side of the painting, there are images of pressed flowers– one looking somewhat like pink lavender, and the other with several bunches of small flowers on a stem. The top of the page has a dark brown background that blends into the border around the painting, and a light yellow text on it that says the following: ‘to feel strong like a man heavy with grief, knowing he can only move forward. to be strong-- so soft, loving, despite it all. to breathe in the fragrance of a flower and feel at peace. to not need to be cold to survive. to feel at home in my body, self, world-- know that this is strength.’

Here's another zine by Xalli—this one's called Folk Punk Inauguration.

[Image Description: The cover page of this eight-page mini zine has a little cut out bat drawing from the Trader Joe's newsletters in the top/middle right area and an entry band for a show at a venue called The Smell along the bottom of it. To the left of the bat are the words 'FOLK PUNK' and between that and the entry band is the word 'INAUGURATION'. Thus, the name of this zine: Folk Punk Inauguration.

The first page has half of a hot pink entry band for The Smell on it. Above it, the page reads “I've gotta say, I've been skeptical of folk punk for a while, now. I feel pretty strongly that the culture of folk punk now is what traditional punk wished it was, but I was never too sure of the music. It felt a little too weird, and I'm a bit of a snob about voices sometimes (not on purpose, I promise) so I was just unsure. It’s been growing on me slowly, though – especially after a show this Tuesday.”

The second page starts “To be honest, the night started out sort of shit. I took the train and got harassed, and got there almost half an hour late, too. The energy inside changed everything right away, though. The crowd threw a billionaire skull piñata around and beat it up for toys, and everyone looked trans as fuck, and I knew I was in a good place. Moon Bandits, Rent Strike, and (of course) Sister Wife Sex Strike all played and fucked it up!” Below that, there's the text “(I can totally draw)” and, below that, an incredibly rudimentary stick figure drawing of a crowd of people looking up at two people on stage.

Page three starts with the phrase “Some HIGHLIGHTS”-- the 'Some' made out of two cut up words ('So' and 'me') from some book and 'HIGHLIGHTS' written in black Sharpie and highlighted with yellow highlighter. Below it is a bullet point list, which is also continue onto page four, that lists that “the pit was so fucking cool! great energy... so much joy and lots of two-stepping”, “the outfits... holy shit, do people know how to dress! so cool + creative”, “the aforementioned piñata - so silly + fun”, “when SWSS come down into the pit for ‘Electricity’”, “when the pit turned into a lot of people (including me) dancing with our partners during ‘Gentleness’”, “Rent Strike's song about hydraulic press videos”, and “the way the bands talked to us: so friendly & funny & felt like family (will come back to this one). Across the bottom of both pages is a sticker for Unity Skate Co. of two naked people, one colored in orange on the other's shoulders (and the other is colored in pink). Underneath the sticker across the right side of page four is a strip of Washi tape in dark blue, red, and black colors, with eyes and lips.

Page five has the word 'MERCH' written across the top left side of it with a squiggly line drawn underneath it. Next to it, starting on the right side of page five and going all through the top of page six is an orange sticker with the word 'QUEERS' in a black bold font with underlining. Page five starts out saying “A lot of the merch was sliding scale, and the vendors were so cool! I had to get stuff!” and then leads into a list of things I bought, including “Sister Wives Strike Back (Deluxe) CD”, “Rent Strike fox (?) on fire shirt”, “Moon Bandits ‘Squash Cops’ patch”, “Moon Bandits ‘Crocs not Cops’ sticker”, and “Moon Bandits 'Protect Trans Kids' Raccoon-filled sticker”. Under the 'QUEERS' sticker, page six simply states “Anyway, the show was amazing if you can’t tell. But there’s something more there, too. Getting to mosh + sing + scream and be happy + sad with other trans people – other nonwhite people too, oh my God – was so new + beautiful. It felt like family + home in such an unmistakable + necessary way. I’m so grateful.”