A sneak peek at the next chapter of The Glue That Binds Us, a sebardagni post-apocalyptic sickfic:
Sebastian was tired today. His muscles were complaining especially, like teens wanting to sleep past noon on the weekends, and he had to carefully brace himself with both hands on either side of his body to ensure he remained sitting. He didn’t think he could walk today, but he didn’t want to admit it. Not when Bard had only been home a few days and Sebastian was doing all he could to make it seem like he was fully recovered from the pneumonia and as fine as he could be.
He knew he should call Agni. If Bard weren't home, he would have already. But something about Bard returning from the seeming arms of death meant that Sebastian felt like he owed the man at least a few days without excessive worry. He couldn't prevent the attacks that often robbed him of sleep during the night, but this--pretending he was fine during the day--he could at least attempt.
He slid his arms into the familiar loops of the homemade forearm crutches Bard had made him and wrapped his fingers around the handgrips. He could do this. The cabin was small. It was only a few feet from the bed, through the bedroom door, and then just a couple more to the sofa in the main room where he'd be able to stop and rest.
Of course, if he fell, he could seriously injure himself--not to mention get a lecture from both Agni and Bard for his stubbornness. But it was already bad enough that both men treated Sebastian like glass. It was already infuriating how he'd desperately want to help, have the motivation, but not the strength, energy, or breath to help Agni with much of the house and farm work.
It didn't help that every time he closed his eyes he wondered if he'd never wake up again. Or how much it pained him to know that he would be leaving Bard alone, most likely, when he did.
Agni was a good actor and did a fairly decent job of keeping his spirits up and his true emotions hidden, but Sebastian had been with Agni for most of his life now; nearly a quarter of a century. He knew Agni almost better than himself.
It had not escaped Sebastian's notice in the last couple weeks as he finally began to recover from the pneumonia that had knocked him on his ass, when his mind had cleared enough for him to be able to notice things Agni likely thought he was still too sick and confused to.
Like how exhausted he was, physically, mentally, and emotionally, as if it radiated from his bones. Sometimes, Sebastian had wondered if he had died if it would have lifted the other man's burden, though he feared it might actually be worse.
Sebastian wasn't certain, but he suspected that Agni wouldn't want to live once Seb was gone.
Which would mean Bard would be alone again, like he was when they'd first met almost five years ago.
