Sheâs in the Rain
Yongguk (B.A.P) x Reader
Author: MoRo
Prompt: This entire fic was inspired by the song âSheâs in the Rainâ by the Rose when a certain line hit me...You and your  husband Yongguk were expecting a baby when you tragically had a miscarriage. As you struggle to cope with the death of your unborn child, Yongguk is by your side all along the way, never letting go.
Note: I have never written anything like this before. I have no idea where this came from honestly like it was written in one night, in one setting. I am still working on another fic (which is much much more fluffy). I also recommend listening to âSheâs in the Rainâ on repeat when reading because I used some of the lyrics from the song. Itâs also just a beautiful song with a beautiful meaning. The Rose is such a talented band with amazing voices. (Shameless plug for k-bands)
Warnings: Angst (my god angst), mentions of miscarriage, mentions of suicide (but no death), and depression BUT THEREâS A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE.Â
Word Count: 2,710
It's funny how things happen sometimes. They say the best things come when they're least expected. Well he was your least expected.
You were there for a vacation, is how you always started the story out. Walking around Hongdae, seeing all the people and the performances. It was completely by chance that you stopped at that one performance but you thank God every day that you did and so does he.
Neither of you really remember how it happened. You just remember standing there being captivated by him. How effortlessly he could switch from rapping to singing in the most beautiful husky voice. How his stage presence, even on the sidewalk on a makeshift stage, just filled you up. How his eyes kept catching yours as he was performing, dragging you in and never letting go, making you feel like it was just you and him there. Then his set ended and everyone else around you two clapped and cheered. Even then he kept his eyes on you and smiled. Â
Oh that smile.Â
The first time you saw it made your heart stop. You couldn't help but smile back. It was like a pure beam of sunlight that warmed you up and enveloped you.
You remember when everyone left after he was done. Noticing that you were lingering around too long, you started to walk away despite what your heart said. You remember he grabbed your arm. "W-wait." He said in a deep husky voice that did not match that gummy smile of his. You remember turning around and finally looking at him up close. You noticed a tattoo peaking out under the collar of his shirt and a few on his arms. Then you noticed those black curls, framing his face perfectly as a pair of round glasses perched on his nose.Â
"A-ah I'm so sorry. I-I don't know why I did that." He released your arm once he realized what he did. You shook your head, strangely missing his touch.Â
"It's alright."Â You told him while giving him another smile so he believed that it really was alright. You remember him getting all red and shuffling from foot to foot looking like he wanted to say something.Â
"So I noticed you during the performance..." He started out. You remember how much your cheeks burned. Obviously you knew he saw you but to have him actually acknowledge it...
You just let him continue as the tips of his ears had started to grow red also. "I-I don't normally do this but I feel like if I didn't say something to you...I would regret it."Â He had taken a deep breath, as if to prepare himself. "Would you like to go get drinks or something to eat?" He finally got out, that deep voice dipping even lower. You remember his words stunning you, making you unable to speak. He looked up at you through those glasses, cheeks and ear bright red, waiting for an answer.
"A-ah um y-yeah. I mean yes. I would like that."Â You remember saying smiling with equally red cheeks and red ears. That sunlit gummy smile of his came back out. "Oh my name's Yongguk by the way. Bang Yongguk."
That night of drinks and dinner turned into an almost nightly thing until the time came for you to leave. You didn't want to tell him but you knew you had to. You remember how the light in his eyes shattered when you said you were leaving. You had to go but you wouldn't forget him. He was something special to you that you would carry in your heart forever.Â
"I'll be back. I promise."Â You remember saying as your eyes filled up with tears, blurring him from your sight. He enveloped you in a big hug, burying your face into his chest. You breathed in the smell of him one last time.
"I know you'll come back to me." His deep voice rumbled in your ears as he squeezed you tighter and kissed the top of your head every so gently.
Leaving him was the hardest thing you had ever done in your life. He dropped you off at the airport and was with you all the way until security. You remember looking back at him just standing there, all alone, even with thousands of people milling around him. He just stood there looking at you as if you were the only person in the room with him and it broke your heart all over again.Â
Giving you a soft smile, you remember he waved at you.Â
"I'll be back. Wait for me."Â You mouthed to him. He had nodded.Â
"I'll wait however long it takes." He mouthed back to you before you turned and stepped into security.Â
The next couple years you saved money to go back to Korea and looked at career options there. Yongguk obviously helped you out during those long late night and early morning skype calls. Sometimes you would fall asleep on the him when  it got too late. When that happened Yongguk would watch your sleeping face. How all your worry lines smoothed out, how your breathing evened out, and how you looked so content while you slept. Regardless of what time it was, he would lay down, close his eyes, and put his phone next to his pillow, imagining you were sleeping next to him.Â
Then finally the time came. Years of waiting, years of wanting to hold you, to kiss you, to feel the touch of your fingertips playing his skin. Finally the time came. You were coming back to him.Â
The moment you got off the plane in Incheon, your heart felt like it was going to burst. You had to see him. You needed to see him.Â
Coming down the escalator into the meeting area of the airport, you searched desperately for him. Then there he was. Standing all alone again with a bouquet of flowers and a sign saying - "You came back to me. Welcome home Y/N."Â You remember dropping your things with a loud crash and running towards him. You remember how he flung open his arms, that beautiful smile of his welcoming you home. Home to him.Â
After your reunion in the airport, neither you nor Yongguk stopped touching each other. You were either holding his hand, holding onto a part of his coat or in bed he was rubbing circles on your back as you laid on his chest. It was such a foreign yet completely natural feeling. Foreign because of all the years of only seeing each other through a screen but normal because finally you both felt whole again. Finally your hearts at returned to each other.Â
It didn't take long for Yongguk to pop the question. He wanted to marry you since the day you left him. He knew since seeing you at his busker that you were the one. But he wanted to wait until you came back to him to ask.Â
The wedding was a simple yet elegant celebration and the best day of your life. All your family and friends joined you two in committing yourselves to each other. Anyone could see the love and happiness just radiating off you two. It was infectious.Â
You remember when Yongguk first laid eyes on you when you walked down the aisle. His eyes met yours and tears rolled down his cheeks as he covered his mouth in a gasp. You could see all the joy and adoration and undying love in those eyes. Yours reflected back the same emotions as tears rolled down your cheeks too. You remember Yongguk reaching up to wipe the tears off your cheek. "You look absolutely stunning." He whispered to you, fighting off the urge to lean in and kiss you. The way he looked at you was the same exact way he looked at you when he first saw you. You felt as those there was no one else around, it was just you and him standing there.Â
Married life had its challenges but you were his rock and he was yours. Nothing could weather you two down.
You still remember the feeling you had when you found out you were pregnant. Yongguk at first thought you were pranking him but then soon realized it was not a prank at all. You remember he showered you in kisses and kept twirling you around, excited to the point words could not describe how he felt.Â
Everything was going so smoothly, you were healthy, the baby was healthy, everything was good. But then all of a sudden it wasn't. Your life stopped with a screeching halt. Well it more of stopped with the silence of the ultrasound. Funny how you used to love the silence and now it was overwhelming and suffocating. There was something and then nothing. All in the blink of an eye. The baby was gone. He or she was gone. Just gone without warning. You remember how you felt like your heart was being torn out and how you were spiraling downward. Down, down, down into the silence.Â
Yongguk tried. Oh how hard he tried to make you happy again. He knew how hard it was on you because it was hard on him too, but he knew he could never truly know how hard it was. Each day only got harder and harder for you. You stopped wanting to eat, bathe, move, or even talk. Yongguk began to miss the light of his life.Â
You would spend your days laying on the couch as the rain fell down, hitting against the window panes, trying to drown out the thoughts in your head. You clutched the soft dove gray baby blanket, blindly looking out the window, not really seeing anything. You felt as though your insides had been carved out and you were just a hallow shell. Oh how you wished for it to all be a big lie. But the empty feeling inside you denied that lie. That lie was the truth. You remember just the other day, being on your laptop looking at baby things, getting ideas to decorate the nursery. You remember reading baby books filled with names and Yongguk giving you a back hug as he read the names over your shoulder, making comments here and there about certain ones. Â
Yongguk tried to talk to you daily. "Honey....Y/N..." You rarely responded back, too deep in your pain and depression. "Do you hear me Y/N? I'm so scared of seeing the end...In your eyes I can see the emptiness...It's like you've lost your light." He would try to hug you or kiss you softly but you would always move away from his touch. You hated how you reacted and how you treated him but you were just hurting so much.Â
"I love you Y/N. I want you to know that. I'm not giving up on you or us. It will be alright. I promise you." He would tell you, you could hear the fierceness in his voice. You believed him but you just could pull yourself together. You couldn't just wake up and decide to not be sad anymore.
 One day was so particularly hard that you couldn't take the pain and emptiness anymore. Yongguk was gone on a quick errand, not wanting to leave you alone for too long. But it was almost enough time. You remember filling up the bathtub and getting in fully clothed. You loved the water since you were little. You sat there, head above the water. Just waiting. You weren't sure what you were waiting for. Then you slipped your head completely under, the cold of the bathtub walls seeped into your back while the warm water flowed around you. You felt strange, warm and cold all at once. Then you felt nothing.Â
You awoke on the cold ground, shivering in your waterlogged clothes. You heard someone yelling far away.Â
"Y/N! Y/N! Come back to me! Please...oh my god... please come back to me..." It was Yongguk. You coughed and looked up at him. You raised your hand to his cheek. The heat of his cheek warming your cold hand and cold fingers. He gripped your hand like a lifeline and scooped you up in his strong arms, pulling you close and nuzzling you. His chest heaved with his words.Â
"I-I came home and when I shouted b-but you didn't answer...and then I found you in the tub...just floating there. I- I thought you were dead... why? Why did you try to do that?" His deep velvety voice cracked. It made your heart crack as well. Â
"I-I feel like I'm dying inside... I keep wanting it all to just be a lie."Â You tell him softly in a raspy voice. Then the tears came. All of those days of pain and loneliness came spilling out, ripping through you. Yongguk just held you and rocked you on the wet floor as you cried all your tears out until there was nothing left. Until you could no longer move, until you could no longer make any sounds because your throat was raw. He murmured softly to you as he rocked you, "If you wanna hurt yourself, I'll stay with you. If you wanna make yourself go through the pain, it's better to be held than to keep holding on." You sniffed and snuggled in closer to him, gripping his arms, feeling less alone but so so very tired.Â
So he just kept on holding you until you fell asleep from the exhaustion. He brushed the wet hair back off your face so he could kiss you. He kept giving you tender kisses, trying to kiss all the hurt and pain away.Â
When you woke up again you were in your bed in dry clothes and warm fluffy blankets. Yongguk was sound asleep by your side, both arms wrapped around you. Protecting you even in his sleep. You could kind of remember what had happened but it was all a blur of water and hard cold floors.
Later your doctor told you it was a type of postpartum depression. A few months of therapy and medication later, you were in recovery. Every day you were getting better and you could feel your mood getting better. Yongguk could also see the improvement in you and your mood. He was so happy to get the love of his life back. For most people, losing a baby would have caused any other couple to just leave each other but that wasn't you and Yongguk. He stuck by your side even when all hope seemed lost and when you couldn't even look at him. You were forever grateful for your husband. Going through everything gave you a new perspective about things and about life.Â
You told Yongguk every day how much you loved and appreciated him. He would smile and wrap you up, smothering you in kisses. One day all that smothering and kisses turned into you holing yourself up in the bathroom as you held a pink stick in your hands. A pink stick with a plus sign on it.
Then nine months later in your hands, that pink stick was replaced with a small bundle wrapped in a pink blanket. A little bundle with fluffy black curls and a soft sweet smile.Â
You remember looking up at Yongguk with a huge smile on your face and tears in your eyes as he looked down at you and his daughter with a matching smile and equally watery eyes. He leaned down and kissed the tears that had fallen on your cheek.Â
"Mi-hi."Â You whispered, "Meaning beautiful joy."Â
 Yongguk put his forehead against yours, lovingly. "Our beautiful joy..." He breathed out moving down to kiss you. It sounded perfect on his tongue as you kissed him back, full of passion and love. He pulled back and looked at you and his daughter again. A new type of love and adoration shone in his eyes. "I love you Y/N. So so very much. You and Mi-hi."Â
"I love you too Yongguk. Both you and Mi-hi , I love you two with my whole heart." Â
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Daehyun is standing by the counter, watching Sungwon refill the two cups Daehyun had brought from his and Yongguk's table. It's Tuesday, before noon, and the coffee shop is pretty empty. Sungwon is the only barista currently working, and per usual he's seizing every opportunity to chat when there's no line. Daehyun doesn't mind. For someone as vibrant and loud as Sungwon, he still doesn't understand why most his friends call him Sleepy.
"Anyway, you and Bbang should go see it," Sungwon concludes, wrapping up the conversation about a movie he'd seen the other day. "I think he'd like it."
Daehyun blinks.
"What?"
"You know," Sungwon scoffs, eyes on his hands as he places Yongguk's coffee on the counter top between them. "At the movies. It's still showing."
Daehyun parts his lips, feeling his heart do something ridiculous at the thought of him and Yongguk in a dark movie theater. The popcorn placed between them, hands brushing as they both reach for it.
"We don't really⌠do that," he says.
Sungwon puts down Daehyun's latte next to Yongguk's black coffee, cocking an eyebrow at him.
"You've been going out for three months and you've never gone to see a movie?"
Daehyun stares at him, dumbfounded. He feels heat rising to his cheeks, instinctively throwing a glance over his shoulder. To make sure Yongguk is still reading over by the table, that he's not hearing this. He looks back to Sungwon.
"We're not going out."
He tries to keep the regret out of his voice.
Sungwon pauses, eyebrows raising toward his hairline. Last week his roots had been black, the green in his hair a lot more washed out compared to when Daehyun first met him. But now every strand on his head matches his pink apron.
"What, for real? You're notâ Really?"
Daehyun feels himself blush even darker at the genuine surprise coloring Sungwon's face. He scoffs, trying to play it off as amusement rather than embarrassment.
"Why would you think that we were?" He asks, heart racing, because he can't help but wonder what it means for one of Yongguk's closest friends to make that assumption. That him meeting up with a boy in a cafĂŠ to study would imply they're going out.
Sungwon's expression quickly changes, a sharpness to him that Daehyun has never seen before. He looks almost defensive, and it makes Daehyun's heart droop.
"Hey, man," he says, voice flat. "I didn't mean to offend you or anythingâ"
Daehyun feels hot panic stir in his belly, realizing how wrongly Sungwon had interpreted his reaction. That he seems to think Daehyun's got a problem with someone thinking he was not only going out with Yongguk, but with a guy.
"That's notâ I'm not offended," Daehyun hurries to clarify. "I'm not an asshole."
Sungwon's face relaxes, an apologetic smile tugging at his mouth.
"Sorry," he sighs, waving a hand in the air as if to brush it all off. "Justâ Some people, you know?"
Daehyun nods, actually moved by how Sungwon clearly was ready to defend his friend. Who may or may not like boys.
"Yeah," he agrees quietly. "I know."
Sungwon tilts his head to the side, regarding him with a soft expression. Daehyun feels like he's being x-rayed, willing his flaming cheeks to cool down. He turns his attention to the paper cups in front of him, slowly dragging them over onto his side of the counter. When he looks back up, ready to step away and return to Yongguk, there's a glint of something in Sungwon's eyes.
"You like him?"
Daehyun opens his mouth, but he can't come up with anything to respond with. He just stands there with his lips parted, heart stuttering at the prolonged silence. How it's an answer in itself. Sungwon's smile grows, and Daehyun drops his gaze onto the two coffees in his hands.
He looks over his shoulder again, just as Yongguk looks up from his books. Their eyes meet, Yongguk smiling even as he lifts his eyebrows in question. Daehyun hurries to smile back before turning away.
"Hey," Sungwon says, arms crossed as he leans in over the counter. He keeps his voice down, making sure no one but Daehyun can hear him. He's still smiling, looking as if he's fighting not to grin. "Don't worry, man. My lips are sealed."
Daehyun's breath hitches, the butterflies swirling in his belly. Because it feels amazing and horrible at the same time, that Sungwon knows. That he seems supportive of Daehyun's crush. And Daehyun feels ridiculous, wondering if he's done something to give his feelings away. If he's the reason Sungwon thought he and Yongguk were romantically involved.
"Okay," he says dumbly, not sure what else to say. Thanking him would be too much like confirming it, despite there being little room left for interpretation at this point.
Sungwon just grins, nodding as he straightens back up and Daehyun finally heads back to the table.
Yongguk puts his book down, adjusting his glasses before accepting his refilled coffee from Daehyun with a soft smile.
"What's that about?" He asks, amused.
"Nothing," Daehyun scoffs as he sits back down opposite from Yongguk, heart skipping a beat. "Just Sungwon being Sungwon."
Yongguk chuckles, cocking his head as if to say touchĂŠ, and thankfully returns to his textbook.
They both return to studying in silence, although Daehyun's thoughts keep drifting back to Sungwon's words. The pure shock on his face.
Are we going out? Daehyun asks himself, sneaking a glance at Yongguk across the table. But that's ridiculous. Of course they're not. Daehyun would know if they were. And yet Sungwon's surprise makes Daehyun feel like he's missing something.
"Do you like parties?" He suddenly blurts out.
Yongguk looks up, blinking in surprise.
"Ah," he says. "I, uhâ My sleeping pills don't really go well with alcohol."
"Oh," Daehyun says, feeling dumb and ignorant. He nods, looking back down into his book when feeling heat creep onto his cheeks. "Right."
"But I can⌠not take them," Yongguk continues, making Daehyun look back up. "Like, for a night. Or whatever. If I wanna drink."
The silence that follows is loaded, Daehyun's pulse quickening as neither of them break eye-contact.
"There's a party this weekend," he says finally, "at a classmate's house. I was justâ You wanna come? I'm pretty sure Junhong and Jongup will be there too, so it'sâ"
He doesn't know how to finish that sentence. So it's not just me. He trails off, looking away briefly and shrugging with one shoulder. Pretending not to be as nervous about Yongguk's answers as he is.
When he finally looks back, Yongguk is just watching him with a soft smile.
"Sure."
Daehyun's belly is full of butterflies.
"Okay," he says, unable to keep the smile off his face. He ducks his head down, nodding. "Great."
Yongguk chuckles, nodding as well as they both quietly return their attention to their books.
It's nearly impossible to focus after that.
-
-
By the time Yongguk arrives at the house party that Friday night, Daehyun has had multiple drinks.
He's tried to play it cool, while in reality he's started thinking Yongguk wasn't gonna show up. That he would have something more important to do. It's silly, and Daehyun knows it, but he can't help it. It doesn't even make sense for him to be nervous about Yongguk actually showing up, either. It's not a date. Maybe they're not even gonna hang out that much. Maybe Yongguk knows half the people there and Daehyun will only see glimpses of him throughout the night.
In the end, Daehyun sees the moment Yongguk walks through the front door. He looks good, wearing a black v-neck beneath his jacket that's showing parts of that big tattoo that Daehyun hasn't seen before. His gaze scans the room, their eyes locking, and Daehyun watches Yongguk's face light up in a smile. He slips out of his jacket before coming over.
"Hey."
"Hi," Daehyun returns. His face feels hot, but it always does whenever he's drinking. He wonders if he's blushing. The thought alone probably makes it happen anyway. Bodies are treacherous like that. He smiles, feeling loose and happy. "You came."
Yongguk chuckles, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. His glasses have slid down his nose just a bit, and Daehyun wants to reach up and fix them. If he'd been just a little more drunk than he is, he probably would have.
"Bbang!"
Junhong's voice is so loud and sudden it makes both of them jump, turning to see Junhong making his way through the crowded kitchen to join them in the hallway, a head taller than most of them. He looks downright shocked. Once within arm's reach, he playfully slaps Yongguk's shoulder.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
His words are a bit slurred, a beer bottle in his other hand. Yongguk scoffs, lowering his head briefly in a way that looks almost shy.
"Daehyun invited me," he says, looking back to Daehyun with a little smile.
"He did?" Junhong asks, shooting Daehyun a glance. Daehyun doesn't know how to respond, so he just smiles and shrugs. Junhong hums, turning back to Yongguk. "I mean, I would've, you know? It's just that you always say no."
Daehyun looks to Yongguk, surprised. Yongguk scoffs and looks away, the tips of his ears darkening.
As it turns out, Yongguk does know quite a lot of the people there. At the very least, they know of him. Many greet him by name, to which Yongguk waves back with a shy smile. Daehyun can tell he's not a big party-goer. Which makes sense, considering what he said about his pills. At first he doesn't seem to plan on drinking at all. He didn't bring any with him. But then Daehyun's classmate â the host of the party â offers him a drink, and Yongguk accepts.
It's the biggest party Daehyun has been to in a while, considering most students live in dorms or tiny apartments. So many bodies in every room of the house makes the temperature go up, and no one's protesting when someone opens the door to the balcony. Some go out there to smoke, which makes others want to close the door again to keep out the smell. It's a bit of a disaster.
Daehyun is tipsy, having a good time nodding his head to the beat and talking to Yongguk and others. The two of them stay close to Junhong and Jongup, at first. But then Junhong starts break-dancing in the middle of the living room and they leave Jongup to be embarrassed about it by himself.
"I can't believe he still does that," Yongguk laughs as they flee to another corner of the house.
"Still?" Daehyun repeats, sounding scandalized. "Is this a common thing?"
"Oh, yeah," Yongguk snorts, grinning. His cheeks are slightly flushed. He looks so good. "For as long as I've known him. He just⌠needs to dance sometimes. I don't know. You can't control him."
Daehyun laughs, loud and just a little obnoxious. Yongguk doesn't seem to mind, just smiles at him in a way that makes Daehyun's heart flutter.
Without thinking, Daehyun leads them up the stairs. There are plenty of people up there too, but it's a whole different vibe than downstairs. People come up here to get privacy. Or at least the illusion of it. There's a group of girls in the hallway having what they seem to think is a very private conversation. Daehyun blushes as he and Yongguk walks past them, though they barely seem to notice. Bedroom doors are closed, and there's a few couples hugging or kissing out in the open.
Yongguk doesn't say anything, just follows. Daehyun doesn't dare look over his shoulder and lock eyes with him, not sure what to say. He just keeps moving forward, hoping he'll find something.
In the end, they find another balcony. It's tiny compared to the one downstairs, but it's empty. Daehyun can feel his shirt starting to stick to his skin with how hot he is, and Yongguk doesn't object when he opens the door to let the autumn air greet them. The doorway is just wide enough for them both to sit there side by side, hips touching.
"Nice," Daehyun hums. He's referring to the starry night sky, but forgets to specify.
But Yongguk still hums in agreement. He shifts the red cup in his hand, and Daehyun blinks.
"Your nails are black," he says, reaching out before thinking better of it. He can't believe he didn't see it earlier. Yongguk lets Daehyun bring his hand closer to his face, studying it. He seems shy about it, yet amused by Daehyun's reaction. "Do you⌠paint them often?"
He feels like he should've noticed by now, considering how much time he spends sharing a table with Yongguk's hands.
"Just sometimes," Yongguk says with a shrug.
"It's pretty," Daehyun says, meaning it. It fits Yongguk in a special type of way. The way his glasses and beanie fits him. Before now Daehyun never would've guessed Yongguk owned nail polish, but now that he knows, it doesn't seem that odd.
Yongguk seems embarrassed then, gently tugging to get his hand back. Daehyun lets go, not having realized he was still holding on to it.
They sit in silence for a while. Daehyun's world is spinning a little bit, and before he knows it he's resting his head on Yongguk's shoulder, eyes falling shut. Yongguk is warm, and he smells familiar. Like his apartment, and the hoodie Daehyun has yet to return.
"You okay?" Yongguk asks softly.
His voice feels like it's very far away. Daehyun just hums in response, drunkenly nuzzling Yongguk's shoulder for a little while before realizing what he's doing. He straightens back up, eyes open.
"Sorry," he says.
Yongguk is looking at him.
"For what?"
Daehyun turns his head to meet his eyes.
"You seeing me like this. I was worried this would happen. I'mâ I'm loud and clingy, sometimes. Especially when I'm drunk. Wasn't sure you'd like me, like this. Shit," he sighs.
But Yongguk just smiles. The light is not the same out here, but his ears and cheeks still look pink.
"I like seeing this side of you, too," he tells him.
Daehyun feels overwhelmed by that. Overwhelmed by how gentle and lovely Yongguk is. Their faces are so close like this, and Daehyun can't stop his gaze from flickering down to Yongguk's lips. He wonders what it'd feel like to kiss someone wearing glasses. He's never done it before. Would they get in the way? Would they have to find a certain angle?
There's something in Yongguk's eyes that's new, and it makes heat pool in Daehyun's belly.
"Please don't do anything too good right now," Daehyun mumbles. "I want to remember."
Yongguk exhales, his breath turning into smoke in the chilly air.
"Okay," he says.
-
-
As it happens, Daehyun doesn't remember much of the rest of the party after that.
He knows he and Yongguk head back downstairs eventually to find Junhong and Jongup reconciling. He knows he danced at some point, that smokers got banned from the balcony, and that someone else commented on Yongguk's nails, but he's not sure in which order it all happened.
He knows Yongguk offered to walk him home, with the party still going on. He knows he said yes.
When Daehyun wakes up the next morning, with a fairly bad headache, he vaguely recalls Yongguk following him to his door. He'd slept in his clothes from last night, still smelling of cigarettes and liquor, so he must've fallen asleep right away. He doesn't remember saying goodbye to Yongguk.
"God," Daehyun mutters, covering his face with his hands.
It feels strange, knowing that Yongguk's been here. And on the back of Daehyun's desk chair, in plain sight, is still Yongguk's hoodie he'd borrowed the other week. If Yongguk was in his room last night, he either didn't see it, or he did and chose not to take it back.
Heart fluttering, he remembers what he'd said on the balcony. What it had really meant, and what Yongguk had responded with.
Don't kiss me when I'm drunk, I want to remember it.
Okay.
Let's not cross that line right now, but later.
Okay.
-
-
Sunday afternoon, Daehyun is bouncing his leg beneath the table, checking his phone for the hundredth time. Sungwon is standing next to his table, leaning against a mop. It's raining again.
"Give him another minute," Sungwon hums, lazily moving the mop around while standing in place.
"It's been five," Daehyun says, voice flat.
Yongguk is late.
Yongguk is never late.
They didn't talk yesterday, even though Daehyun wanted to. He wanted to send Yongguk a text and apologize for being an embarrassing drunk, but thought maybe that would just make things even more awkward. He'd decided to wait till their usual study time, giving them both another day to recover. From everything.
Daehyun feels something cold and uncomfortable settle in his stomach, growing bigger and heavier by the minute. He's worried, in more than one way. Yongguk might be avoiding him, which is enough of a kick to the gut. But Daehyun also can't help but think something else happened. He doesn't want to believe Yongguk forgot he'd been drinking Friday night, and went home to take his pill anyway. Daehyun doesn't even know what would happen, if he did. He just knows it's bad.
"Still no response?"
Sungwon, of course, knows it too.
Daehyun shakes his head. He's told Sungwon everything already. He hadn't planned to, but after seeing the two of them here together so often, Sungwon had already figured something was off. And they're friends now. Daehyun thinks so, at least. At any case, it feels good to have someone around that knows Yongguk as well as Sungwon does.
One of the first things Sungwon had asked was how much Yongguk had had to drink that night. Daehyun wishes he could remember more clearly. It hadn't been an accusation, but Daehyun still feels guilty. If something's really wrong, it's his fault.
"Alright," Sungwon finally says, leaning the mop against his own chest as he takes out his phone. "I'll text him, tell him we just wanna make sure he's alright."
Daehyun nods, fumbling with his phone on top of the table. His and Yongguk's coffees are both gonna go cold. For once, he'd ordered for Yongguk rather than the other way around. He'd almost been excited about it, wanting to see Yongguk's reaction.
Sungwon's boss appears, and he gets busy mopping the rest of the place. Daehyun tries to take a sip of his coffee, but the mere smell makes his stomach protest. He puts it back down. He taps his phone again. Nothing. At this point, he's almost hoping Yongguk is just ignoring him. That it's nothing else.
A little while later, Sungwon returns.
"Okay," he says, his mouth a thin line. "I think you should go over there."
Daehyun's heart sinks like a stone.
"What did he say?"
"Nothing. He hasn't replied. And it'sâ Something's not right," Sungwon says, looking nothing like the cheerful guy Daehyun has come to know. "He wouldn't ignore a message like that. Not from me," he adds, giving Daehyun an almost apologetic look.
But Daehyun gets it. They're close friends. He's⌠something else.
"Alright," Daehyun says, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "I'llâ I'll go by his apartment."
"Thanks," Sungwon tells him honestly, offering a weak smile.
Daehyun stands, grabbing his bag that's still packed with all his things. He pauses, eyeing the untouched coffee orders, but Sungwon waves him off.
"Don't worry about it. Next time's on the house for you two. Just go."
-
-
He's only been to Yongguk's apartment once, but he's got no problem finding his way. Sungwon had given him the code to the building, and it feels a bit like dĂŠjĂ vu when rushing inside from the rain. Daehyun feels like an intruder walking up the stairs to Yongguk's floor, his footsteps echoing in the empty stairwell.
Ringing Yongguk's doorbell, Daehyun immediately hears a soft barking from somewhere inside. The fact that Tigger is in Yongguk's apartment only makes Daehyun even more worried. Because he wouldn't leave the dog unattended for too long, which means Yongguk must be inside. Inside, but not responding to friends' concerned texts at a time when he's usually up and about.
No one comes to open the door, so Daehyun rings the bell again. He knocks on the door. Tigger is still barking softly inside, the travelling sound of it suggesting the dog is running back and forth. Daehyun's heart is beating too fast. His mind starts playing out the worst possible scenarios.
He wants to call Sungwon. He wishes he had Sungwon's number. He thinks about calling Junhong.
Then the lock clicks, and the door opens.
Yongguk is there, peering at him in the bright light, and he looks horrible. He's got dark circles under his eyes, his hair a mess. He looks naked without his glasses. Even with his eyes narrowed, Daehyun can see how bloodshot they are. He's wearing a big t-shirt and his tracker pants, standing barefoot in the door. Tigger is on the threshold, the little tail wagging at Daehyun.
"Daehyun?"
"Oh my god," Daehyun breathes out, relief flooding him. "Fuck. I wasâ"
Yongguk looks so confused, Daehyun struggles with what to say. Then, slowly, something else creeps into Yongguk's expression. His eyes flicker down to Daehyun's bag, blinking.
"Shit," he mumbles. "What day is it?"
Daehyun hesitates.
"Sunday."
"Shit," Yongguk says again, self-consciously running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I didn'tâ"
He looks so exhausted, Daehyun feels bad for even being there.
"I was worried," he says, swallowing. His heart is still beating a little too fast. "Me and Sungwon. Weâ We were worried something was wrong. I thought maybeâ After the partyâ"
His voice trails off. Guilt fills Yongguk's eyes. It makes him look even worse.
"No. Nothing happened," Yongguk sighs, dragging a hand down his face. "I justâ I couldn't sleep that night, so yesterdayâ" He shakes his head, jaw setting for a moment before continuing. He doesn't meet Daehyun's eyes just then. "I took too many pills," he says eventually, voice quiet. "There'sâ There's two kinds. I took two of the stronger ones. Andâ" He sighs, shaking his head again. "It was stupid. I've done it before, and it's alwaysâ It completely knocks me out. I can barely wake up within the next day. I'm stillâ"
He cuts himself off, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.
"I know," Yongguk says, still unable to look at him. He runs a hand through his hair again. "I know it's bad. I shouldn't have done it. I just wanted to sleep. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't show up today."
"It's fine, it'sâ Whatever," Daehyun shrugs, frowning. "Jesus. Don't even worry about that. I'm justâ" He shakes his head, exhaling shakily. He feels awful. "I shouldn't have asked you to that party."
At that, Yongguk finally looks up while firmly shaking his head.
"Daehyun, no. It was my call. I'm the one who messed up after."
"It's still bad," Daehyun insists. "I shouldn't have asked you. Not after you told me aboutâ I shouldn't."
"Dae."
It's the first time Yongguk calls him that, or anything other than his full name, and Daehyun can barely process how intimate it sounds. Yongguk looks more alert than he has since opening that door, holding Daehyun's gaze steadily.
"I'm a grown man, I make my own decisions, and I'm responsible for taking my own meds. I came to the party because I wanted to. I had a drink because I wanted to, not because I felt pushed to it. Alright?"
Daehyun swallows around the lump in his throat, feeling tears burn behind his eyes. But he nods.
Yongguk nods, too, and smiles sadly. He blinks, changing his stance where they're still standing in the doorway. Tigger whines by his feet, earning their attention. Yongguk groans, rubbing his forehead.
"He needs a walk. Iâ Shit."
"I'll walk him," Daehyun says instantly.
Yongguk looks at him, something soft in his tired eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Come on. Let me help. I'll just walk the block or something."
"Thank you," Yongguk says warmly, looking around for the poodle's leash.
He hands it to Daehyun, their hands brushing in passing. Daehyun crouches down to put the collar on Tigger who finally connects the dots and gets incredibly excited about what's about to happen. Daehyun can't help but giggle, the sound shattering something lingering in the air. And when he looks back up, Yongguk is smiling faintly.
"Go sit down," Daehyun tells him. "Just be awake when I get back."
"I will be," Yongguk promises.
Daehyun starts turning away, before stopping himself.
"You should probably text Sungwon back," he offers.
It's a short walk.
Partly because Daehyun wants to return to Yongguk as soon as possible, but also because Tigger seems perfectly content once he's done his business. The rain has turned into a light drizzle, which is a relief, but Tigger walks through enough puddles to get most of his coat soaked anyway.
When returning to Yongguk's apartment, Daehyun only has to knock once to be let in. Yongguk meets him with a sheepish smile, cheeks pink as if he'd splashed some water in his face. He's changed shirt and put on socks. Daehyun helps him dry Tigger off best they can right inside the door, before the poodle gets free and flees into the kitchen.
"Let him go," Yongguk decides, scoffing weakly as they both stand back up.
Daehyun is just about to turn and leave, thinking he's got what he came here for, when Yongguk hesitantly opens his mouth.
"You wanna stay?"
Staying hadn't even been on Daehyun's radar.
"I⌠thought you'd want to keep sleeping it off," he says, unsure.
Yongguk shakes his head, eyes lowered.
"I won't be much fun," he admits. "Butâ If you want to stay, you can."
Daehyun studies him. He looks so open and vulnerable, and Daehyun feels his heart clench with how much he cares for him. There turned out to be a lot more to Yongguk than he first thought when they met, but nothing has stopped his feelings from blooming. His chest is burning with it.
The fact that Yongguk looks like a mess and desperately needs a shower, but still doesn't want Daehyun to leave. The fact that they both must know there won't be any studying done. It's always been the excuse, something to hide behind. But it won't work this time.
"Okay," he says.
Yongguk smiles.
They end up on the couch in the living room, Yongguk turning the TV on. They do watch it at first, sitting on each ends of the small couch with just a small space left between them. Yongguk is sitting curled up in his corner, legs pulled up against his chest. Tigger returns from the kitchen, licking his mouth, and trots over to settle into the dog bed next to the keyboard. Silence reigns for a while, but it's not the comfortable kind they usually have.
In the corner of his eye, he watches Yongguk turn towards him after a while, leaning his side against the back of the couch. His feet are inches away from touching Daehyun's thigh.
"Are you upset with me?"
Yongguk's voice is low, but it still cuts through the silence like a knife. Daehyun tips his head back, head turned to meet Yongguk's eyes. He looks so worried, and it dawns on Daehyun just how much his opinion matters to Yongguk. How concerned he is about what Daehyun might be thinking.
"No," Daehyun sighs softly. "I justâ I was really scared," he admits.
Yongguk nods solemnly, brows furrowed with guilt.
"I get that," he says quietly. "And I really am sorry. I never meant to⌠put you through that."
Daehyun swallows, nodding. He believes that, even though he still doesnât get it. He stays still for a moment before turning to the side as well, facing Yongguk. He rest his cheek on the back of the couch. For a moment, they just look at each other.
"Tell me more about it," he murmurs. "How it all works."
Yongguk seems to hesitate.
"Why?"
"Because I want to understand," Daehyun says honestly. "So that next time, I'll know."
"There won't be a next time," Yongguk protests, but seems to realize how hollow that promise is.
He sighs, running his fingers through his hair again. Daehyun waits. The TV is still on, having turned into background noise. Tigger is seconds away from falling asleep over in the corner.
"Like I said, I have two kind of sleeping pills," Yongguk finally explains, voice quiet. "Last time you were hereâ That's the first kind. It takes an hour or so to kick in, and it keeps me drowsy for about ten hours. If I'm lucky, that drowsiness is enough to help me fall asleep. But it doesn't always work."
"So you have a stronger one."
Yongguk nods.
"It'sâ That first one, I can take every night if I want to. It's not⌠dangerous. But this second one, the stronger oneâ I'm only supposed to take it every now and then," he admits. "You get addicted easily. They work pretty much instantly, and you get⌠high. I guess that's the right word," he sighs. "The effects don't last very long, but they're very effective for the falling asleep part. It's the one you might not wake up from, if you take too many at once. Iâ Every time I renew my prescription, they have to ask if I have any suicidal thoughts. They have to."
"Jesus," Daehyun breathes out.
"Yeah," Yongguk agrees, swallowing. "It'sâ It's really bad, to mess up like I did. But I promise, I just wanted to sleep. I didn't think."
Daehyun swallows down a dry throat, processing as he blankly looks back to the TV.
Yongguk lets him.
"So what did you take yesterday?"
"One of the first one, two of the second."
Daehyun nods, lips pressed together.
"And you still feel it?" He asks, looking back. Yongguk is already watching him. "What's it like?"
"My fingers feel numb," Yongguk hums, holding out a hand between them and spreading his fingers as if to demonstrate. "It's hard to do anything. I just feel⌠heavy. It's the combination of the two drugs. When it gets like this, it's difficult to do anything but roll over and keep sleeping."
Daehyun studies Yongguk's spread fingers, despite them looking completely ordinary.
"But it's safe now, right?" He asks. "To sleep, I mean."
Yongguk nods firmly.
"Yeah, I just feel⌠slightly dazed, still. But most of it is out of my system by now."
Daehyun hums, not sure what else to say right away. He drops his gaze to their toes in the middle of the couch, so close but not touching yet.
"Then it's okay," he says eventually, "if you wanna sleep some more. Really."
He looks back into Yongguk's eyes to let him know that he means it, that it's okay.
"I don't wanna sleep when you're here," Yongguk murmurs, and the honesty of it makes Daehyun's heart flutter. "And I'm⌠sorry for being so gross right now," he adds, grimacing weakly.
Daehyun huffs.
"It's okay." A pause. "I like seeing this side of you, too."
Their eyes meet again, a smile tugging at the corner of Yongguk's mouth.
"I wasn't sure how much you remembered. From the party."
"Not everything," Daehyun admits. "But most of it, I think. The end of it is a little fuzzy. I remember us being on the balcony." He sees something flicker across Yongguk's face, and even though he can't tell exactly what it is, it still makes his face heat up. "I remember you walked me home. Iâ Thank you."
Yongguk's smile grows even stronger.
"Thanks for inviting me. It was fun. Justâ I might be all partied-out for a while."
"No more parties," Daehyun decides. "I should've just asked you to the movies." At that, Yongguk's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Daehyun realizes what he just said. "I meanâ There's a movie Sungwon thought you might like," he splutters. "You know. So."
Yongguk's smile grows big enough to show his teeth and gums. Daehyun loves that smile.
"I'd love to go," he says with a small shrug. "Next Saturday, maybe? After my shift?"
"Okay, great," Daehyun exhales, wondering how the hell he pulled that off.
Yongguk grins, mirroring Daehyun and tilting his head to rest on the back of the couch. They're still for a moment, before Yongguk pushes his feet closer, covering Daehyun's toes with his own. Yongguk is wearing white, fuzzy socks while Daehyun had taken his off, damp from the rain. He hadn't realized how his feet were slightly getting cold till now, and he can't stop the pleased humming noise slipping out of him. Yongguk chuckles, the tips of his ears pink.
"You could borrow some socks."
"No, this is fine," Daehyun mumbles.
They fall into silence again, and it's nice. Daehyun turns his head slightly, lazily altering between watching the TV, the raindrops slapping against the window, and Tigger sleeping in his bed. Yongguk seems to do the same thing, though Daehyun notices him blinking slower and slower.
It doesn't take long before Yongguk's eyelids seem to grow too heavy, and he finally closes his eyes. Daehyun gives it a minute, but then he can't help but watching Yongguk's face as he falls asleep. He looks peaceful, despite the dark circles under his eyes. His lips are slightly parted, his breath steady and deep as his chest moves with it. His feet are still on top of Daehyun's.
Butterflies are swirling in Daehyun's belly, warmth spreading from the center of his chest. He doesn't want to move, doesn't want to wake Yongguk up. He can't wipe the stupid smile off his face, happy and relieved to be where he is.
It's still scary, to think Yongguk had just overdosed on his own sleeping pills, no matter how accidental it was, but at least Daehyun understands more about it now. It feels good, that Yongguk trusts him with that information. He can't help but wonder how much Junhong knows. Or Sungwon. Probably all of it, he realizes. Which is probably a good thing. Yongguk needs a good support system.
Daehyun doesn't got a clock within his line of sight, and he doesn't want to risk stirring Yongguk by going for the phone in his pocket, so he can't tell for how long he sits there, Yongguk sleeping next to him. Tigger changes position on his bed at least seven times. The rain stops, one show ends on the TV and another begins. Yongguk slides just a little further down on the couch, their legs all tangled.
When Daehyun's phone suddenly vibrates against his thigh, he jerks out of a haze.
"Fuck," he says under his breath, glancing over to Yongguk as he digs his phone out. But Yongguk only shifts a little in place, eyes remaining closed. It's a text from one of his dorm mates, asking where he is. They had agreed to all clean the common area Sunday night. "Fuck," Daehyun whispers again, finally reading the time, and how many hours he's spent at Yongguk's.
Carefully, Daehyun untangles his and Yongguk's legs so he can get off the couch. Yongguk still doesn't wake up, just lets his leg fall without Daehyun's support. Daehyun stands frozen for a moment, watching Yongguk curl up on his side, facing the back of the couch. His shirt is so big, his spine poking up from under all the fabric. Tearing his eyes away, Daehyun tip-toes to the bathroom.
When he comes back out, Yongguk has turned around. First then does Daehyun notice how much darker it's gotten outside, Yongguk's face mostly lit up by the light from the TV now. Daehyun bites down on his bottom lip, hesitating for a moment, but decides he doesn't just want to leave without letting Yongguk know.
He crouches down next to Yongguk's head, reaching out to gently shake his shoulder.
"Yongguk," he whispers.
Yongguk blinks his eyes open, looking lost for a moment before his eyes focus on Daehyun in front of him. Daehyun smiles, not even sure if Yongguk can see his face. He thinks about withdrawing his hand, but doesn't.
"I'm sorry, I need to go."
"Didn't mean to sleep," Yongguk mutters, rubbing at his eyes.
"It's okay." Daehyun grins. "I guess we're even now."
Yongguk relaxes against the couch again, making no move to sit up. He smiles back.
"Hey," Daehyun says. "Eat something, yeah?"
"Yeah," Yongguk agrees, voice raspy from sleep. "I will."
Daehyun gently squeezes Yongguk's shoulder, letting his hand linger for just a moment longer before he lets go. He can't read the look in Yongguk's eyes in this light.
"See you later," he whispers, before quietly leaving the apartment.
Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & CafĂŠs, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Denial of Feelings, Meddling, Slow Burn, Convenient Weather Phenomena, Yoo Youngjae is an Oblivious Walnut, Light Angst
Summary: Â Youngjae hasn't thought about Himchan in years - at least that's what he'd claim if asked, and since nobody ever asks, Youngjae doesn't have to lie. But then Himchan shows up at the coffee shop Youngjae works at, and suddenly Youngjae has to lie all the time, getting more and more annoyed by the fact that nobody ever believes him ... including Himchan, apparently. It's very stressful.
In which Minah tries to join a support group for people who feel personally victimized by the charming Aries folk in the college
Haneul was surprised when Minah came over to her and asked her for some help. Minah was usually independent, silent for most part and didnât attract too much attention to herself.
âUh, Haneul, if you arenât too busy could I please talk to you about my Sociology of Art class?â
Haneulâs ears perked up. As a member of the student council it was her duty to help out students in need and since Minah was her friend it was all the more reason to do so. Turning around in her seat she looked at Minah who wrung her hands and bit down on her lip.
âI heard there is a support group for people who feel personally victimised by the Aries on campus.â
âUh,â Haneul cleared her throat âI canât confirm nor deny itâs existenceâŚâ
âAnd that youâre the head of it.â Minah finished quickly as Haneulâs eyes widened. Had they been caught?!
âListen, itâs Bang Yongguk. Heâs making my life miserable in that class. Itâs unfair!â
Haneul paused, sheâd heard this before within the group from Wonshik. Yongguk was an incredibly smart and attractive man and was a threat to the other peaceful zodiacs on campus. But, MinahâŚ
âPlease.â Minahâs eyes widened and filled with tears. Haneul sighed, before looking around to see if the coast was clear.
âI understand, Yongguk has caused a lot of trouble with how attractive he is. But you need to understand that you are an AriesâŚâ
She noticed Minah rolling her eyes â I might be born in March, but nothing about me is Aries like.â
âButâŚyouâre Minseokâs sister.â
Minah quirked her eyebrow âHe took all the cool genes and left me with nothing okay? Please justâŚconsider my proposal.â She said before freezing as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Haneul froze too when she spotted Bang Yongguk towering over them.
âHey, do you want to go work on that paper now?â He asked as Minah weakly nodded and got taken away as Haneul watched, praying for her friendâs soul.
âHey Minah!â She called to the girl walking away with Yongguk âyouâre in!â
***
âWhat do you mean Kim Minseokâs sister is joining?!â Wonshik, the vice head of the support group groaned âwhat was her name again?â
âKim Minah,â Haneul replied âsheâs more Pisces than Aries. Bang Yonggukâs latest victim.â
Wonshik clicked his tongue in sympathy âmy issue is that we have a bunch of members who are in the group because of her brotherâŚisnât that going to be an issue?â
âBut she is suffering too Wonshikkie. It would be cruel to turn her away. Plus look at her, sheâs harmless!â Haneul waved around to no one in particular as Wonshik sighed.
âWeâll ask the members?â Wonshik wondered out loud as the group started filing into the discussion room in the library. When Haneul put forth the question, there was a silence that filled the room.
âWho is Kim Minah again?â Yixing asked as Jongin shrugged, they had joined the support group after repeatedly being exposed to Kim Minseok in all his glory.
âYeah, never heard of her.â Donghae said as he sat down after a gruelling afternoon with Siwon and Hyukjae, both evil Aries men.
âIsnât she Kim Minseokâs sister?â Hakyeon asked as Sanghyuk nodded. Hongbin sighed before turning back to Haneul, squinting.
âIsnât her birthday the same day as Kim Minseok?â
âOh wait, I remember him saying something like that.â Jonginâs eyes widened as Yixing nodded.
âAre you saying that you want an Aries to join a group where people feel victimized by Aries?!â Hakyeon argued as Donghae nodded furiously.
âWho is Kim Minah again?â Taekwoonâs voice piped up, obviously he wasnât listening.
âShe is a girl who feels victimized by Bang Yongguk. That is all that matters.â Haneul said as Wonshik nodded, noticing a need to save Haneulâs ass.
âBut sheâs an Aries.â Taekwoon deadpanned.
âMore Pisces than Aries,â Haneul countered âplus sheâs as harmless as a fly.â Haneul added, when a knock on the door caused everyoneâs attention to turn towards it.
âHi, sorry Iâm late. YonggukâŚâ Minah waved as an explanation feeling all the eyes in the room on her âOh, Iâm Kim Minah and I feel victimized by Bang Yonggukâs existence.â She said, repeated what she had seen in the movies about Alcoholics Anonymous. Taking the silence in the room as her indication to enter, stepped in, silently shutting the door behind her and setting her tennis racket down before looking up at Haneul âI have tennis practice after this?â she offered as an explanation thinking that people found her attire strange. She shrugged, she was going to stay silent through this meeting anyway.
âSheâs on the tennis team?â Donghae mumbled to Hakyeon who shrugged and nodded. Yixing pulled his phone out to type in her name and find her on Facebook.
âProfile looks boring, everything is on private.â He mumbled to Jongin who was peering over into his screen.
Haneul cleared her throat for attention âOkay everyone, letâs begin. Who wants to go first?â
âI will,â Jongin said as he took a deep breath âhey everyone, Iâm Kim Jongin and I feel personally victimized by Sehun and Minseok.â
âHi Jongin.â Everyone chorused as Minahâs eyebrow perked at the sound of her brotherâs name. She looked at him intently and Jongin blinked, before sighing.
âWell, Sehun is Sehun. Heâs always known heâs attractive. But heâs such a cute goof! Heâs doing it on purpose I tell you. And Minseok, and his stupid smile and how helpful he is! I swear heâll make me gay for him.â Jongin grumbled.
âI agree! This week he was helping out with the dance club and damn it, he had to do a sexy dance. Freaking Sehun had to join him.â Yixing frowned as Taekwoon cleared his throat.
âHave you seen him play soccer though?âÂ
There was a gasp in the room as it broke out into discussion about Minseok being out to ruin peopleâs lives. Minah blinked, baffled.
âWell, he is really passionate about it and heâs been playing since he was teeny.â she mumbled as the group turned to her and she shrugged. âMinseok has always been the good guy. You havenât seen him being a goofy dummy though.â
âOf course I have! Itâs freaking adorable!â Haneul cried out.
âIâve seen him run around the house in a penguin suit and his underwear on his head, trust me you havenât.â
âWell Sehun though.â Donghae began.
âIs a long stupid noodle who is scared of the bunsen burner.â Minah deadpanned as everyone gaped at her in horror.
âReally?â Wonshik whispered.
âI needed to do all his tests in the Chemistry lab because he was too scared of a tiny flame.â Â she shrugged. Is this what this support group was about? She sighed looking at everyone âIâm sorry to have interrupted. Do go on.â
âWonshik has been having trouble with Jaehwan.â Haneul said as the whole room sighed.
âWait, didnât you have trouble with Jaehwan?â Minah asked as Sanghyuk burst out laughing before turning to Minah.
âLee Jaehwan is out to kill us all with how bloody cute he is.â
âIf he managed to make Taekwoon want to bite him, I think heâs been successful.â Hongbin grumbled.
âThat kid has far too much aegyo in him for his own good.â Donghae commented as Jongin and Yixing nodded.
âYour men have very little. But so much charisma.â Haneul nodded as Donghae wailed out.
âHyukjae and Siwon are so damn unfair. Theyâre so cool!â
âBut isnât Jaehwan just naturally prone to aegyo? Itâs not like he does it on purpose. If he does exaggerate it, itâs to make the people around him happy.â Minah reasoned with what she had seen of Jaehwan âHyukjae is incredibly logical and stuff, but heâs a goof. You should know that Donghae and you also know what a weirdo Siwon is.â she added before rolling her eyes.
âYou know what? I donât understand how anyone in this room feels victimised. Have you guys looked at yourselves?â
There was a silence that filled the room when Minah stood up now choosing to look at everyone. First she looked at Donghae.
âIâm sorry, but youâre one of the most loved men on this campus. Youâre incredibly sweet and extremely good looking. Everybody, and I mean everybody is in love with you. Hyukjae and Siwon think the sun shines out of your ass.â She said before turning to Yixing.
âYouâve won awards on how sweet you are. Youâre the only Chinese student to be called an angel on campus. Have you seen how ridiculously talented you are? You sing, dance, and compose music. You literally have a fan following. What are you even complaining about my brother and noodle?â She groaned before turning to face Jongin.
âYou have no idea how sexy your dances are. After the first dance club performance a large part of the female population wanted to bed you. Youâre humble, hardworking and passionate. Everyone can see that.â She sighed as Wonshik quivered under her gaze.
âDo you know that people call you a walking sex god? Of course you donât. Youâve ruined peopleâs lives and youâre complaining about Jaehwan being cute? Seriously?â Minah spun around to Hakyeon.
âYouâre the most respected senior. You have a beautiful smile. Youâre so much fun to talk to and youâre always ready to take people under your wing. You literally have people in love with you. Jaehwan hero worships you! And you!â She looked at Hongbin.
âYouâre probably the most aesthetically pleasing human on this campus. And youâre logical and funny when you want to be. You have a voice people would kill for and acting chops to match. Seriously, Jaehwan is the least of your problems when youâre causing problems yourself.â
Sanghyuk might have been the tallest in the room but at this point he had shrunk into his seat.
âSanghyuk, youâre so damn smart and funny. Youâre tall and handsome. Youâre literally the whole package. I canât even count the number of people in our batch want to date you. Stop ruining their lives.â
âHaneul, youâre a member of the student council. Youâre popular, friendly, beautiful and incredibly smart. Iâm sure some of the men in this room are attracted to you.â She looked around as Wonshik looked down guiltily. Minah turned to Taekwoon.
âYouâre the football team captain. Youâre every girlâs living Mr. Darcy. Iâve seen you on the field and itâs damn good. You sing like a dream. Youâre in the MA program which means youâre smart tooâŚâ she sighed âI donât understand you guys. You guys ruin lives and youâre complaining about people who are just being themselves? That makes no sense. You guys are charming and popular and attractive as hell. So just⌠donât.â she ended as silence filled the room yet again. Minahâs phone flashed and she looked at it as her eyes widened.
âI have to go for practice now. But this was great, I just realized that Yongguk is a wonderful human being but a human being all the same. Maybe someday I will also ruin someoneâs life being the plain human that I am, but till then thank you guys for this!â she grinned before picking her racket up and heading out of the discussion room.
More silence.
âWellâŚâ Haneul took a deep breath when she noticed something off.
âDonghae why are you staring at the door?â
âWhy are you blushing Taekwoon?â Wonshik blinked at his friend. Or rather at the top of his head.
âUhm,â Jongin piped up as the group turned to him âcan Yixing and I go now?â
âAre you guys seriously planning on going to the tennis court?â Hongbin blinked at them.
âJust casually walking to the football field.â Yixing nodded.
âWhich is next to the tennis court?â Hakyeon eyed them.Â
âDo you mind if I join?â Donghae asked as Taekwoon looked at the group.
âFootball captain will go for football practice?â
Sanghyuk shifted in his seat âwell, I have assignments too.. some group stuffâŚneed to form groupâŚâ
âYouâre going to ask Minah?â Haneul gaped at him.
âSheâs hardworkingâŚ?â He offered as Haneul sighed.
The door flew open as Yongguk stood at the entrance âIâm Bang Yongguk and I feel personally victimized by Kim Minah and Kim Himchan.â
Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & CafĂŠs, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Denial of Feelings, Meddling, Slow Burn, Convenient Weather Phenomena, Yoo Youngjae is an Oblivious Walnut, Light Angst
Summary: Â Youngjae hasn't thought about Himchan in years - at least that's what he'd claim if asked, and since nobody ever asks, Youngjae doesn't have to lie. But then Himchan shows up at the coffee shop Youngjae works at, and suddenly Youngjae has to lie all the time, getting more and more annoyed by the fact that nobody ever believes him ... including Himchan, apparently. It's very stressful.
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Pairing: Kim Himchan/Yoo Youngjae
Rating: M
Warnings: -
Characters: All of âem
Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & CafĂŠs, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Denial of Feelings, Meddling, Slow Burn, Convenient Weather Phenomena, Yoo Youngjae is an Oblivious Walnut, Light Angst
Summary: Â Youngjae hasn't thought about Himchan in years - at least that's what he'd claim if asked, and since nobody ever asks, Youngjae doesn't have to lie. But then Himchan shows up at the coffee shop Youngjae works at, and suddenly Youngjae has to lie all the time, getting more and more annoyed by the fact that nobody ever believes him ... including Himchan, apparently. It's very stressful.
summary: It all starts when Daehyun shows up on Yonggukâs doorstep one night in late November, during the leaderâs break.
â CHAPTER 2
"I just wanted to talk to you," he admits.
Yongguk brings the offered cigarette to his own lips, nodding.
"I figured."
Daehyun's heart skips a beat, watching Yongguk take a lighter from the pocket of his jacket and hold it up in front of his mouth. He shields the small flame from the wind with a cupped palm, taking his first drag with the cigarette secured between his lips as he pockets the lighter again. Their eyes meet through the first cloud of smoke, and Daehyun's stomach is in knots.
pairing: bangdae
universe: canon
tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, literal sleeping together, lots of yongguk feels, attempt at realism, rating will go up, more tags will be added
It all starts when Daehyun shows up on Yonggukâs doorstep one night in late November, during the leaderâs break.
[ excerpt ]
Yongguk isn't surprised by the confession, but still feels alarmed by it. He's never been good at talking about his feelingsâor talking, period. It was the very first obstacle he had to overcome when starting the meetings with his therapist. Daehyun has always been good at it; always seems so confident in what he feels. Yongguk never is. He's always been socially awkward, better at reading books and newspapers than people.
But he can read his members, just like they can read him. They know each other too well by now. And he recognizes Daehyun's fidgeting for what it is: longing for physical contact. Because he knows how Daehyun works; knows he uses touches almost as much as words when expressing himself. He knows the younger is holding himself back now, as he so often does when it's just the two of them. Knows that Daehyun would never sit this far apart on a couch if Yongguk was anyone else. Knows that if it was any of the maknaes, Daehyun would be halfway into their laps by now. And if it were Himchan or Youngjae, he'd be fumbling with their hands instead of his own.