#banryeoz

==

Hands on the handlebars, knees pumping up to her chest, Kim Gaeul biked against the final few rays of the setting sun that beamed down at her from the horizon. Squinting, she took a deep breath and took it all in: the grill left out in the backyard, the rows of freshly mown grass, the faint hint of petrichor that hung in the air, the occasional chirping of the birds soaring overhead. There was no need to look both ways before crossing narrow streets. There was no need to squeeze her elbows together to avoid bumping into other people. There was no need to burn her lungs to catch the last bus, to wait outside the Asian mart for hours for the half-off sale, or to vomit in a shady back alley in between coffee breaks thanks to another double shift.

This was home. Kim Gaeul was home.

There was something about coming home again, Gaeul thought, trying to put it into words as she cycled past the houses that remained unchanged over the past two years that she was gone. She had never been away before, so she had never been ‘back’ either. She was hoping it would feel grander, tug more at her heartstrings, engulf her deeper into a sense of nostalgia. But all that filled Gaeul’s mind were the faces of people she prayed she would never bump into during her temporary return, all the places she might want to visit again if she had the time and the money, and how she was going to survive seven days living under her parent’s roof again.

Speaking of the devil, her phone vibrated in her pocket.

“Eomma? Why are you calling?” Gaeul uttered as she squeezed her phone between her chin and neck. “I haven’t been gone a while—.”

“You haven’t been home for years and the first thing you do is leave?” her mother yelled, nearly shattering her phone’s poor little speaker. “Where are you headed off to?”

“Relax, eomma. I’m just … I’m just visiting a friend,” Gaeul replied. The idea was sound in her mind, but verbalizing it made her chest tighten. “Just going to say hi. That’s all.” 

Her mother sighed, and immediately after, Gaeul could already hear her chopping up vegetables in the background again. “What am I going to do with you? Just take care, alright? You looked so … tired, honey. Not the jetlag type of tired. You should get some rest while you’re on break. Maybe we can all go somewhere together as a family again?”

Gaeul wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She wasn’t really the type to have these kinds of conversations with her mother—or with anyone. But as the front lawn of her destination came into view, she parked that thought for now. “Sure, sure. I’ll … I’ll talk to you later! Love you—bye!”

Before her mother could get another sermon in, Gaeul ended the call and slipped her phone back into one of her jacket’s pockets.

Slowing down to a stop, Gaeul let her bike collapse onto the grass as she stared up at the house in front of her. She couldn’t believe it. It looked exactly the same. The same way she remembered it whenever she biked, or jogged, or ran towards it. Same ivory- and cream-colored walls. Same creaky wooden porch. Same garland that hung by the door all year round.

Jang Wonyoung’s house.

Gaeul took five steps to the side and leaned against one foot, taking a peek down the path to the backyard. She thought of it. She considered surprising her, sneaking in through the door around back. Sighing, she shook her head. “Some things you need to face the right way, Kim Gaeul.”

But what was she even going to say when she saw her again? What would come out of her lips first? An apology? A declaration—‘I’m home’? A joke to lighten the mood? 

Gaeul wasn’t too sure, but fortune favored the bold—so she walked up to Wonyoung’s front door and knocked three times. Each rap of her knuckles against the heavy wood sounded a tad too demanding for the short girl, making her second guess her decision of coming here in the first place.

In moments, the knob twisted. In mere seconds, the door creaked open.

Gaeul held her breath. “Hi, um, Won—.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

Gaeul’s body tensed at the sound of a deeper voice replying to her. As the origin of this voice stepped out into the late afternoon light, she managed to take a good look at him. 

Pronounced Adam’s apple. Unblemished pale skin. Hawaiian shirt parted by the shoulders with nothing underneath. Half-baked abs jutting out. The man in front of her leaned with his elbow against the doorframe as he stooped down to meet Gaeul’s gaze. “Are you one of her friends or something?”

“S-Sorry, I think I have the … wait, this is … the Jang’s home, right?”

The man smirked, and Gaeul just wanted to rip that shit-eating grin off his face in a heartbeat. “Depends which Jang. There’s, like, three Jang’s I know in this entire sub—.”

“Wonyoung. Jang Wonyoung. I’m here to see her.”

“Hoonie? Who’s that?”

Gaeul perked up, fingers relaxing now by her sides. She wanted to step past this ‘Hoonie’ fellow to meet that voice—that same mellow voice—but he was blocking the entire doorway.

Peeking out from underneath one of the man’s arms, a girl in a striped top stepped forward, and in an instant, Gaeul felt her entire face melt. “Oh my god … you … unnie?”

Gaeul smiled, extending her arms to the side. Wonyoung wasted no time and jumped right into her for a tight embrace.

Swaying her unnie from side to side, Wonyoung held her by the waist. “God, unnie, you’re … you’re here. You’re home?”

Gaeul pouted, running her fingers through her hair. “That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for. Guess I need to make a second entrance.”

Wonyoung laughed in an unladylike way—the way Gaeul had always managed to evoke from her when they were alone. It was refreshing to hear it once again. It was refreshing to see her like this once again. “Right! Right, this is um, this is Sunghoon. He’s my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend.

As Wonyoung released herself from Gaeul and returned to Sunghoon’s side, Gaeul watched as her boyfriend wrapped an arm around her, digging his fingers into the side of her bare navel, and lifted his chin up in acknowledgement. It was then that Gaeul understood a core theme of returning home.

Some things never change, but some people do.

Boyfriend. The word kept playing back in her head like a broken record, even as Wonyoung showed her in and Sunghoon went to grab a beer. As the two girls sat by the edge of the countertop in her kitchen, Gaeul couldn’t make sense of it.

They’ve never talked about boys before. Or, well, maybe they have. Just not like this. They’ve never talked dating. They’ve never talked looking for a relationship. So when Gaeul glanced up from her hunched position to see Wonyoung with that same old smile on her and that same old way her hair fell perfectly down her shoulders, Gaeul couldn’t fathom the thought that she was possibly not the same old friend she once had.

Who was Gaeul to blame? Two years is enough time for many things to happen—Gaeul would know. It wouldn’t be impossible for Wonyoung to have tried new things, to have gotten into different groups, and to have met new people.

But really—out of all the people, someone like Sunghoon?

Gaeul wanted to raise the topic, but she was too distracted by her best friend. They didn’t have any paintings around the house, but Gaeul could have sworn Wonyoung was framed like one as she dangled her feet off the surface. Her dark caramel hair. The two beauty marks on her face that Gaeul thought looked like an incomplete constellation. The tiny scar on her lower lip that she got when she catapulted off her bike when she was twelve. If returning home was supposed to be nostalgic, then Jang Wonyoung was the museum of Gaeul’s life.

She couldn’t look at her without remembering everything they shared together.

The smell of nicotine was what brought her back to reality. “Since when did you smoke?”

Wonyoung took a deep breath and blew a cloud of fumes into Gaeul’s face. “Since college, unnie. Everyone does, are you kidding me?”

Gaeul could only smile endearingly. She wasn’t about to lecture the younger girl on vices—she was no stranger to them. Clearing her throat, she eyed Wonyoung’s pack of convenience store cigarettes and scooted towards the other girl. “Light me one too, will you?”

As the two girls smoked in silence, alternating between drags and huffs, Gaeul finally felt the weight of the day sinking into her all at once. This was not how she expected things to go at all today. She wasn’t expecting to see a boyfriend at the door. She wasn’t expecting her adorable hoobae to be smoking just like the other girls around campus. She was certainly not expecting them to be ruminating in Wonyoung’s kitchen like this as if they were a pair of middle-aged office workers.

Rubbing her temple in mild strokes, Gaeul bit her cigarette and sighed after a long drag. She was happy enough to see Wonyoung again. She was thankful they were both still amicable like this. But all of this was just too overwhelming for her first day back.

Gaeul watched as Wonyoung played out like a movie in front of her.

Yapping about her recent obsession with blind boxes. Sharing her sentiments about the college degree she was taking. Recounting the little stories about how she and Sunghoon had met, and some of their other memorable moments. Just like the smoke that filled and exited her lungs, Wonyoung’s words entered one ear and exited the other for Gaeul. Because all she could take in was her.

All she wanted to take in was Wonyoung.

“You’re staring again,” Wonyoung noted, folding her cigarette and tossing it into the sink. “You’re doing it again. That thing when you’re thinking about something. When did I lose you?”

Gaeul raised her hands in surrender, cigarette between the joints of her fingers. “Guilty as charged. I stopped when you mentioned Sunghoon.”

“That was at the start.”

Gaeul shrugged with a cocky smirk on her. “Oops.”

Wonyoung bit her lip and shoved her shoulder, but her hand found purchase against her arm afterwards and gripped it. “I … I missed you, unnie. I really did. I thought you’d never be back again.”

“I thought you’d be gone for good.”

Gaeul thought so too.

It started out when they were kids. It burgeoned when they were in high school. It was this feeling—this sensation that coated her like molasses. Couldn’t shake it off. Couldn’t wipe herself clean off it. Gaeul had always felt like something was wrong with her. Like something was off. She couldn’t make friends like the others did. She couldn’t indulge in the same hobbies they did. She was always in her own little world, doing whatever the hell she wanted. Because of that, she got a lot of hate. Because of that, she got a lot of flak. And because of that, she immediately felt what they wanted her to feel.

Gaeul felt like she didn’t belong.

It was suffocating. She needed more air walking up and down the staircases to her classrooms than she needed between sticks of cigarettes. Needed more caution when keeping her head down against their insults than she needed biking downhill into flowing traffic. Needed more energy to feign smiles in front of teachers than her lamp needed as it hovered precariously by her bathtub every other night.

She wanted to get away from it. All of it. Even if it meant being away from her.

Now that she thought about it, Wonyoung was the only reason she had to stay. In the same vein, Gaeul thought, Wonyoung was also the only reason why she was back here in the first place. 

“I’m back now. Just for a few days though,” Gaeul finally replied, crushing her own cigarette. “Can’t stay for any longer than that. Life’s … pretty busy in the big city. Faster than you’d even think.”

“Maybe you can tell me more, unnie. I’m on break too. You should come by again. Maybe when …”

As Wonyoung trailed, Sunghoon’s broken laughter from the living room was interspersed with sounds from the movie he was watching on TV. “Maybe when he’s not around.”

Nodding, Gaeul hopped off the counter. “Mind if I use your bathroom for a sec?”

“Oh please, don’t worry about it, unnie. Don’t use the guest one—just use mine upstairs. You still remember where it is, right?”

Chuckling, Gaeul patted Wonyoung’s thigh and winked at her. “Be back soon then. Maybe I can share a drunken story or two.”

Gaeul noted her little lip bite. She always did that unknowingly. Such a tease. But she filed that away and tugged on the hem of her jacket as she trudged up the stairs and into the second floor.

Gaeul passed by the shared bathroom, pressed a hand against the sliding door instead, and tiptoed out onto the balcony, closing the door behind her.

Slumping immediately against the wall, she pulled out her phone. There were texts from her friends. She opened the only thread that she was keen on replying to right now.

[Liz] Back home already? How’d it go?

[You] Not the best U?

[Liz] Rei and I are … talking it out … She’s never dated a girl before so … Bit heavy on her Wbu? What happened?

===

“Behold! I am the princess of the playground!”

As a young Wonyoung prepared to glide down the slide in her pink tutu, one of her hands held her pink fairy wand while the other stretched out in front of her. “Catch me, my prince!”

Gaeul, on one knee, was always ready to receive her with both hands. And as the young girl slid into her friend’s arms, she giggled and smiled wide enough to show all of her missing teeth. “My prince!”

Kissing the back of her hand, Gaeul muttered. “And my princess.”

===

Gaeul thought back to her smile that day. Gaeul thought back to the way Wonyoung had smiled towards Sunghoon while in his arms.

[You] She’s dating someone. She has a boyfriend

[Liz] SHE WHAT Wait … she might be bi then?

[You] That’s not the point lol Coming here was a waste of time

[Liz] … ….. You said you wanted to go home because you needed time to think Discover yourself or something You backed out of our LA trip because of her … At least take the time off and just … IDK … Sort your emotions out before coming back I can’t keep wiping vomit off your face each night

[You] Whatever lol Miss you too

Gaeul hunched forward and squeezed her knees against her temples.

It was an excuse she made up to avoid Liz’s insistence, but deep down, Gaeul knew it was true. She’s been dealing with a lot ever since she moved out and away from here. A psychology degree that she wouldn’t even know what to do with once she acquires it. Working extra shifts at her part-time job when she’s not in class just to make ends meet. She couldn’t read books or watch movies like she used to—she was always too tired, too guilty she was wasting her limited time. She couldn’t even lay in bed without some part of her aching. She couldn’t even wake up the next day without something in her mind questioning whether this monotonous slop was all still worth it.

Gaeul thought back to when things were simpler, to times like these when she was back home, where she could afford to smoke on kitchen countertops and not need to count the time left until her break was over. The idyllic days like these were what Gaeul missed the most about being home.

Her idyllic days with Jang Wonyoung.

She glanced at the street to the side. She remembered a time when they biked up and down streets like those together. Not going anywhere sometimes. Just biking and killing time. Wanting to be anywhere between home and school. They were so carefree. They were so naive. They were so themselves.

Shaking her head, Gaeul pocketed her phone and got up, having enough of this afternoon rumination.

As she headed downstairs in search for Wonyoung, wanting to catch up with her somehow, she spotted her sitting on Sunghoon’s lap in the living room—arms wrapped around his head, noses touching, chests smothering each other’s.

Gaeul watched the way her lips curled up higher towards her ears. She thought back to the smile Wonyoung gave her years ago on that playground floor.

It was wider now.

Stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets, Gaeul turned the other way and let the happy couple be, exiting around back where she could leave unnoticed.

===

[Nyong] Hey … about yesterday … You didn’t say goodbye. Again … I feel bad … I didn’t mean to forget about you unnie Want to come over for a swim? It’ll just be the two of us this time

Just the two of us.

Gaeul shouldn’t have, but the moment she saw those words appear on her screen, her legs were already pumping up and down against her bike.

Just the two of us, unnie.

===

“Swimming again? You’re going to be a mermaid at this point.”

Wonyoung swatted Gaeul with her kickboard and shook her head. “If I’m going to be a mermaid, then at least I’ll be a pretty one. Swimming is fun! I keep telling you to try it. Maybe then you’ll understand.”

Rolling her eyes, Gaeul picked up the towel Wonyoung had dropped and hung it securely on her shoulder. “I guess that’s it for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mwah.

She did it again. She kissed Gaeul on the lips again after making sure nobody was watching. Gaeul could feel the chapstick against her own lips as she rubbed them together. “Wonyoung … I told you, you need to stop doing that. That’s not how friends say goodbye …”

But Wonyoung just giggled at her unnie. “It’s like our own little secret handshake, unnie. Just for the two of us.”

Just the two of us.

===

Gaeul pedaled harder with a wide grin on her face, emboldened by that memory as she biked against the early morning air.

The first thing Wonyoung did when Gaeul showed up at the door was to grab Gaeul’s wrists and pull her through the entryway. Gaeul was half-expecting her to be kissed by the younger girl, but Wonyoung wasn’t a ten-year-old anymore.

And Wonyoung had a boyfriend.

“Is that the jacket I gave you for your thirteenth? Are you crazy—you still wear it?”

Gaeul ruffled her jacket and smoothened out the creases, raising a brow against the younger girl. “Fits like a glove. I never grew out of it.” I never … grew out of you.

But the last sentence never left Gaeul’s lips.

“Huh, now that I think about it, you never did grow too much, did you, unnie?”

Gaeul’s heart didn’t break over the jab at her height—it broke over what she had called her yet again.

Unnie.

===

“What? Going to cry for your mama~? Hahaha!”

As the group of girls began screaming things at Wonyoung like a pack of monkeys, she shrank smaller and smaller into herself as she clutched the pigtails her mother had done for her. “S-S-Stop that … l-leave me … leave me alone please …”

But her pleas only served to fuel their bullying.

When she could no longer take it, Wonyoung shattered into a mixture of sobs and sniffs as she cried at the top of lungs. “UNNIE!”

The door behind the group of girls exploded, immediately silencing the entire stretch of the corridor. And as soon as a hooded girl came strutting out with a pair of scissors and a cutter, they all stepped away from Wonyoung and began running for their lives.

===

“Unnie?”

Geaul blinked twice. When Wonyoung sensed she was back, she slipped her hand around Gaeul’s. “I said, did you bring anything good for swimming? If you didn’t, you can borrow one of mine. I’m sure they’ll fit you.”

Gaeul blushed at the thought of borrowing her hoobae’s swimwear. “No, I … I have something decent.”

Smiling, Wonyoung gestured with her lips. “Then let’s get changed upstairs.”

Gaeul offered to change in the bathroom so Wonyoung could have her bedroom all to herself. But the younger girl insisted otherwise, claiming it wasn’t a bother to her if they changed together.

As Gaeul began stripping out of her casual wear, dumping them in a pile on the floor, she was extremely conscious of her body. One gust of wind from the open window and she was shivering. Every nerve beneath her skin was constantly active. Cupping her bare chest, she turned around to pick up her swimsuit when she saw Wonyoung with her bare back towards her.

Gaeul’s hand fell limp to her side. Suddenly, she had forgotten her own bodily insecurities.

Gaeul’s mind was instead filled with the smell of red berries, datura, and white musk. Of the shadows that danced on the floor as Wonyoung moved. At the steady breathing that lifted and lowered her perky chest.

When Gaeul locked eyes with Wonyoung, who had turned around now, the other girl held her gaze. As Wonyoung tied the straps of her bikini tightly around her, Gaeul tried her best to not look anywhere lower than her eyes, which didn’t prove to be too difficult given how mesmerizing they were.

Once Wonyoung had fully changed, she smiled and tugged on the strings a final time just to make sure. “Are you done? I don’t mind skinny dipping, unnie, but please—not in broad daylight.”

Gaeul kicked her clothes towards Wonyoung and threatened to drown her in the pool.

Swimming at six in the morning would normally be a terrible idea, but it already felt like eighty degrees outside. They didn’t need to wait until it was any warmer like they used to.

While Wonyoung did steady laps back and forth in the pool, Gaeul just dunked herself a few times into the water to cool off from the summer heat. Gaeul wasn’t much of a swimmer anyway. Hitting the pool with Wonyoung had always meant watching on the sidelines as the younger girl got to stretch her slender limbs.

Perched on the coping of the pool, Gaeul observed Wonyoung’s maneuvers. 

The first few laps were to warm up—freestyle. That was the stroke she was most comfortable with. When she tumbleturned and converted into a backstroke, Gaeul knew she had moved from getting back into the motion of things towards showing off. But it was only when she started doing butterflies did Gaeul recall how competitive Wonyoung was—even against herself.

“Trying to beat her record again,” Gaeul muttered in between the splashes of water that were thrown her way.

===

As she got splashed by what felt like a waterfall, Gaeul lowered the clipboard she was holding, which got absolutely soaked just like the rest of her. “Ya! Can you control yourself or something? I’m not even the one swimming and I’m still getting wet.”

But Wonyoung wouldn’t listen—she couldn’t. Hear ears were plugged. Her swim cap was tightly wrapped around her head. Her goggles forced her to only see what was in front of her—each end of the pool.

Gaeul grunted and chased after her, stopwatch in hand. Each time Wonyoung slapped the walls of the pool with her feet, she paused the timer and recorded it.

“Fifty-five! Forty-eight! Oh my god—thirty-nine!”

===

Gaeul chuckled to herself as she counted in her head, watching Wonyoung burst from the waters like a siren chasing her prey. “Twenty-four. Twenty-two. Nineteen.”

Now, Wonyoung was too fast for Gaeul to even trace with her eyes. Now, Wonyoung felt too far away from her. It was almost as if Gaeul couldn’t reach her anymore.

Suddenly, she felt damp hands wrap around her thighs and drag her underwater.

Bubbles filled her vision as the faint silhouette of flesh and red came into view. She pushed her shaking palms against the younger girl’s submerged face before resurfacing and gasping against the side of the pool.

Fixing her bikini top, Wonyoung leaned against the same wall as Gaeul. “I can’t be the only one swimming now. can I, unnie?”

Gaeul submerged her head seemingly to calm her breathing, but when she came back up, she spewed water out of her mouth towards Wonyoung’s face.

Gasping, the other girl retaliated with an upwards kick of water towards Gaeul. And then, the two chased each other around the pool like cats and mice.

Once their morning rush of energy petered out, both girls leaned with their elbows by the shallower end of the pool. Wonyoung bent towards Gaeul to try and shade her from the rising sun.

Close. She was close.

Lifting up a hand, Gaeul pressed her palm against Wonyoung’s cheek and drew circles against her damp skin with her thumb, brushing off the droplets of water on Wonyoung’s face. The motions inched lower and lower until her nail came across Wonyoung’s lip. The two of them stood there in silence as Wonyoung’s eyes swapped between her unnie’s hand and her unnie’s face.

“Cannonball!”

The two of them pulled away immediately as a burst of water obnoxiously blasted in their direction.

Wiping her eyes, Gaeul saw Wonyoung getting lifted up by her waist by Sunghoon, who had joined them in the pool. Wonyoung seemed just as surprised as Gaeul was to see her boyfriend here.

“H-Hoonie, you—.”

“That thing with my friends got cancelled—bummer. Means I get more time with you,” Sunghoon explained, capturing his girlfriend’s lips within the same breath. “Didn’t know you were going for a swim.”

Gaeul pursed her lips and allowed the couple to have a swim together. She pressed herself along the edges of the pool and resorted to bobbing up and down by herself awkwardly.

From her own corner at the deeper end, Gaeul watched as the two were absorbed in their own affairs. She got a clear view of Sunghoon snaking his slimy digits underneath the cloth of Wonyoung’s bottom going god-knows-where. Wonyoung didn’t even seem to react to this at all, too preoccupied with peppering his neck in kisses.

Gaeul rolled her eyes and looked away. A soft porno was the last thing she needed right now.

Once the couple was done with their not-so-public-display-of-affection, Sunghoon licked his lips and gestured indoors. “Go get me a beer, baby. I’m thirsty.”

“Go get it yourself, Jesus. I don’t want to get cold going out like this,” Wonyoung whined.

But Sunghoon lifted a brow in a way that made Wonyoung seem to understand what he meant. “I said, get me a beer. It won’t take long. Why don’t you get your friend a beer too? Makes the trip more worth your time, yeah?”

“I’m good,” Gaeul spouted, letting them both know she was still there. “Not really much of a drinker anyway.”

Wonyoung swapped between her unnie and her boyfriend before sighing and wading across the pool. In an act of rebellion, the younger girl decided to head to the farther end where the ladder was instead of climbing up the steps from the shallow end.

Before hoisting herself up, Wonyoung leaned towards Gaeul and whispered, “Sorry about him. I didn’t think he’d … you know …”

“Does he always come over? Does he not have anything better to do?” Gaeul fired, rubbing her  wrinkled fingers against one another.

“Even if I don’t tell him to. He’s … obsessed with me like that, I guess. It’s kinda … romantic.”

===

“Awww, Gaeul’s here, sweetheart. And she brought you flowers! How romantic of you.”

Gaeul blushed as she handed Wonyoung’s mother her humble bouquet of roses, clinging to the straps of her backpack tightly. “I-It’s nothing, Mrs. Jang … She told me last week no one gave her any Valentine’s gifts. I just thought … you know …”

Her mother smiled and walked over to the kitchen to fill up a vase with water. “That’s lovely. She’s upstairs by the way. Having another sleepover again?”

Gaeul blushed heavier as she tried to hide behind her short curtain of hair. “Y-Yes …”

Wonyoung’s mother chuckled. “You two sure are really close friends.”

Really close friends.

===

“She’s an amazing girlfriend.”

The moment could not have been ruined any faster. As Sunghoon made his way towards the deep end, where Gaeul was, he tapped his chest with one hand and jerked his chin. “Wonyoung? She’s perfect. Couldn’t have asked for more.”

Exhaling through clenched teeth, Gaeul glanced back up from the rippling water and put on her best smile. “We had a nickname for her back in school. Lucky Vicky. Always getting good grades. Always getting praises from our teachers. Always getting what she wanted. Seems like she’s … lucky with you too.”

Words have never tasted any sourer in Gaeul’s mouth.

“Could say that, yeah,” Sunghoon continued, stretching his torso backwards as if to flex his immature abs. “Had to show her the ropes for some things though. Used to be a terrible kisser haha. Could you believe that? Needed a bit of help with it. Among many things. Thankfully isn’t the case anymore.”

Gaeul wanted to shove his mouth into the pool cleaner. “Was she not your first?”

Sunghoon shook his head with pride. “Nah, dated here and there before her. She’s the longest I’ve ever had though—that’s for sure. Lucky I was her first. Can feel the years of being alone pouring out of her each time.”

Gaeul thought back to the times when Wonyoung would cry on her shoulder, whimpering like a child behind the backs of teachers and students who thought she was a perfect little girl. She thought back to the moments when Wonyoung would pull her by the ear and whisper all her naughty little thoughts and juicy little secrets like she was some untouchable vault only she had personal access to. She thought of the times when they would just sit next to each other in silence, not really meaning to do anything else but exist next to one another, when only the presence of the other was enough to confirm their own existence.

“Yeah,” Gaeul finally let out, blinking rapidly. “Yeah, I guess … I guess so.”

“You ever date anyone though? Seeing anyone lately?” Sunghoon asked, trying to extend the topic beyond his experience with Wonyoung. “College must have been fun in the big city, yeah?”

Gaeul thought back to the past two years she was away.

As her date moaned into her lips, she gripped the sides of Gaeul’s face and pulled her in tightly. “Harder … harder! I want to feel how much you want me, unnie …”

Blink.

Feeling her finger’s work their way inside her then-girlfriend, Gaeul felt her hand against her chin, drawing her in. “Look at me, unnie … don’t look away when it’s—ngh … when it’s just us …”

Blink.

Gaeul felt the slap against her own cheek before she spotted her ex’s tears stream down her face. “We’re done. I can’t date someone who … who always has her mind elsewhere … thinking about god knows what. Maybe … maybe you should resolve your own shit first before wasting someone else’s time, unnie.”

Blink.

Gaeul swallowed abruptly and crinkled her nose. “A bit. Didn’t date as much as you did, I imagine?”

And somehow, the two managed to make it work.

Although it wasn’t the most tasteful form of small talk, Gaeul managed to build some rapport with Sunghoon. Although he had a very distinct way of speaking and a very limited selection of topics he could engage in, Gaeul managed to pretend to be—in his own words—‘one of the bros’ as they exchanged stories while half-submerged against the morning sun.

By the time Wonyoung came back, Gaeul had almost forgotten about the beer she was asked to get. “Sorry! There weren’t any chilled ones, so I waited by the fridge before grabbing a few.”

Gaeul couldn’t help but stare at Wonyoung’s emerging figure. This was the first time she had ever seen her in a bikini.

But the moment only lasted for a few seconds. She darted her eyes away the instant she felt like Wonyoung’s eyes were on her as well. All she could remember—and see from her peripheral—was a blur of red against her perfect skin.

Gaeul turned to Sunghoon, who was helping Wonyoung back in the pool, his clutch on her remaining as deathly tight as ever.

Gaeul wanted to jam his digits into a lawn mower.

After a few swigs of the beer, exchanging the bottle between the two of them, the young couple laughed and murmured things into each other’s ears, unaware of their third companion lingering in the distance. Before Wonyoung could slide her hand down Sunghoon’s chest and reach for some place lower, Gaeul quietly made her way out of the pool to dry herself off.

She left them to their own devices, but not before Wonyoung shot her one last glance in the middle of her making out with Sunghoon.

==

Gaeul’s family was furious about her little rendezvous with Wonyoung yesterday. By furious, that meant extremely unhappy.

Her mother was the most displeased among the three of them. Her father couldn’t care any less what his daughter did with her time, and her brother could barely even offer half his brain to remember that his little sister was once again home during her break. But her mother? Her mother was not having it. At all.

“Two years and nothing’s changed,” she groaned as she plated the different side dishes she made for breakfast. “Still the same wandering spirit. Where do you keep going anyway?”

Gaeul shrugged, staring at her food with her lack of appetite. “Just a friend’s house, eomma.”

“‘Just a friend’s house, just a friend’s house’,” she mocked with that certain tone of hers that always got under Gaeul’s skin. “Jang Wonyoung’s?”

Gaeul squeezed her knees together.

Taking off his headphones, her brother elbowed her and gestured towards their father. “Don’t tell him. He’ll get a heart attack.”

“Tell me what?”

Lifting up her knife, she raised it towards her brother. “Ya! I’m going to stab your nosy little—.”

“Enough!”

Her mother slammed both of her fists onto the dining table, training her widened eyes at each of them. “We … we’re finally complete again after two years. Let’s act like a real family even for just a few days—while Gaeul’s home. Can you at least do that much … for me …?”

Gaeul eyed her brother, whose eyes filled with apathy in a heartbeat. She herself couldn’t be bothered either. They never really acted like a family before—even when she was still home. There was no sense in trying to act like a real family now.

“Let’s … let’s go to the mall.”

Her brother was the first to react, choking on his toast. “Ya, eomma! We’re not children anymore. Who the hell goes to the mall these days?”

“People with families do,” their mother raised, turning towards her husband for support. But their father simply hid behind his newspaper, leaving his wife to defend herself. “It’s a weekday. Parking won’t be a problem. We’ll spend our time at the mall today then—all of us. Together.”

Normally, Gaeul would protest. Going against her mother wasn’t difficult. It was something she learned how to do exceptionally well growing up. But when she closed her eyes and thought back to the sight of Wonyoung looking at her while she kissed her boyfriend, the sickness in her stomach refused to let her speak up.

“Sure. I don’t care.”

Her brother stared at her. “What? You’re not going to say anything against this?”

Gaeul stabbed her tteokbokki with her fork and scarfed it down in one go. “If this is what it takes to shut her up, then so be it. Let’s go to the damn mall and act like the family eomma wants us to be.”

She was expecting a scolding. She was expecting a plate filled with kimchi to be thrown at her. But when her eomma simply took a deep breath and nodded in acknowledgement, Gaeul felt a mild sense of relief.

“Thank you. I’ll ready the car.”

Gaeul wasn’t sure what exactly families did at the mall together. She’d never gone with her whole family to the mall before. In fact, Gaeul wasn’t really sure what families did together to begin with.

But she went along with her mother’s wishes.

They ate at a Chinese restaurant that was in between fast food and contemporary casual. As Gaeul nibbled on the dishes her parents ordered for them, she couldn’t find any justification for the price they were about to pay for it all. She didn’t have the heart to spit it out either considering how expensive it was. Lunch quickly became the start of a larger sunk-cost fallacy.

They tried burning off the grease and oil of their meal by going around the different shops. Gaeul wasn’t really in the mood for window shopping. That was only something she did when she knew what she wanted to look at or consider buying. Without a general goal, it just felt like she was being dragged every which way. Her mother was the enthusiastic one. It didn’t help that when she looked at her daughter, she still saw the child she used to be—picking out different summer clothes for her to try that had all gone out of season at least five or six years ago. It didn’t help that Gaeul’s brother was encouraging her.

They tried playing indoor mini-golf together. They each got their own club, golfball, and scorecard. Their mother thought it would be a nice bonding opportunity. But in between the golfballs her father launched at innocent passers-by and the number of times they had to explain to her brother that the lower numbers on the scorecard meant the better the standing, Gaeul just glided from hole to hole with the constant groaning of her family in the background. They left early when her brother tried to pick a fight with one of the kids for bumping into him mid-swing.

But the entire time, Gaeul couldn’t stop thinking about Wonyoung, the pool, and her smile. Gaeul couldn’t get rid of the afterimage of Wonyoung that was burned into the back of her mind.

===

“If you stare at it too much, you know you’re going to go blind, right?”

But Wonyoung didn’t listen. With her hands proudly by her hips, she stared right into the sun with her shades on, defiantly proving Gaeul otherwise. “See, unnie? I told you these shades worked!”

But Gaeul didn’t listen. Her eyes were fixated on the beautiful face of her friend, staring right at her. However, the moment her eyes had dried up beyond resistance and she ended up blinking, all Gaeul could see was the afterimage of the silly girl who dared to stare down the sun.

All Gaeul could see was Wonyoung.

===

Blinking off the afterimage, Gaeul rested her head against the car window as her mother pulled out of their parking slot. Her brother was already blasting punk rock into his ears, which meant she was ‘by herself’ in the backseat again.

Unlocking her phone, she scrolled through her messages. There was a bajillion of them. All of them from Wonyoung.

[Nyeong] You left? Didn’t say a word again? Look I didn’t mean to make you feel like a third wheel … I would never, unnie … It’s just … Sunghoon … I’m sorry … again … Unnie? Unnie …? … Please don’t ignore me … Are you busy? What are you doing? Unnie? !!! Sunghoon and I are going to the sports center tomorrow Do you want to come with? I understand if you don’t want to since he’s coming along, but … I thought you could bring your old racket with you Do you still have it? We could play badminton like we used to Remember when we played on the street almost everyday? Back in eighth grade haha I missed that So …?

Gaeul pressed her phone to her chest. She didn’t know what to think.

She wished it was just them. God—she wished she could just have a single moment with Wonyoung. Just Wonyoung. She wasn’t even sure how to feel about all this—about this huge mess of emotions inside of her. And now, she wasn’t even sure if she’d ever get the chance to find the right words to tell her if Wonyoung and Sunghoon were too attached at the hip.

She wished she stole one of the mini-golf clubs earlier. She wanted to whack Sunghoon in the balls with it.

But Gaeul knew better than to let this chance go. She only had a few days left before she had to fly back for college. Whether or not she was going to recognize these feelings—whether or not she was even going to tell Wonyoung about them—that was something for future her to decide.

For now, she could settle with a few more stolen moments with her.

[You] Of course I still have my racket I beat your ass with it every time lol Hope you don’t bring yours You kept blaming it every time you lost

[Nyeong] !!! You replied just to insult me?? Square up then, I’ll see you tomorrow You are SO on, unnie

“Ya, what’s got you all smiling like that?” Gaeul’s brother beckoned as he took out one of his earpieces. “Weirdo.”

Gaeul picked up the bag of takeout they got from earlier and tossed it at her brother before strangling him with her two bare hands.

==

The sports center was something Gaeul had never seen before.

Located towards the far end of the residential area, where the streets of the suburbs slowly bled into the larger roads of the city proper, the nine-story sports center was like a mall for purely physical activities.

Ball sports, contact sports, rock-climbing, aerobics, weight-lifting—they had amenities for it all, condensed to a singular complex. They even had two canteens distributed between the different floors, and a small daycare area for those with younger children.

Gaeul could not believe that they had this all built within the two years that she was away. If the sports center existed back then, she would have probably been holed up here instead of the library downtown.

They took the elevator to the fourth floor, where most of the activities that required courts were located. Just above the futsal area, the trio parked themselves by one of the empty basketball courts, claiming one of the halves.

Sunghoon, dressed head to toe in athletic gear, began jogging around the outer edge of the court to warm up. Carrying both Wonyoung’s and her stuff, Gaeul grunted as she plopped them down on one of the benches.

Wonyoung watched as her boyfriend did a few stretches with his legs. “He takes this seriously. We could never play sports without him getting too competitive.”

Gaeul chuckled as she removed the strap from her shoulder. “Have you never seen yourself when you swim? God, you two are perfect for each other.”

Before Wonyoung could even respond to that, Sunghoon was already making his way to her. “Babe, keep watch, ok? Tell me if I’m slacking or losing focus. You’re my eyes from the sidelines.”

Wonyoung crinkled her nose and pinched his cheek like a mother wishing her son the best for his big game. “Go get ‘em, Hoonie.”

Gaeul rolled her eyes. That was excessive even for Wonyoung.

She thought Sunghoon would offer to play with them: teaching them how to dribble, how to pass the ball without it slipping through their butter fingers, how to stop being afraid of the ball, or how to even shoot for crying out loud. But Sunghoon decided to put on a one-man-show that nobody asked for.

He dribbled through invisible traffic, performing layup after layup with ease while unguarded. He took the ball inside the paint, then outside it, before settling on a few three-pointers. Gaeul thought he was done after a few buckets, but each time the ball dropped from the net, he would find a new way to take a shot and sink the ball into the ring—all by himself.

It got boring after the fifth layup.

Gaeul leaned backwards towards Wonyoung, who covered her face with a yawn. “If I had known we’d be in the audience, I would have brought some popcorn. You think they sell any in the canteen upstairs?”

Wonyoung jabbed her and shook her head. “He just gets worked up when there’s an audience. But … yeah. He’ll get tired eventually.”

They shared a moment of silence as Sunghoon ran towards the half-court line to try and sink a hail-mary in. The ball ended up bouncing between the bars of the net behind it.

Gritting her teeth, Wonyoung glanced away and reached for her racket. “Badminton?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

While Sunghoon was too busy dribbling past opponents that only existed in his mind, the two girls snuck into the badminton courts across the floor. There was only a pair of middle-aged men sparring with each other, so they took the court one spot away from them to have their own space.

Just the two of them.

Biting the shuttlecock between her teeth, Wonyoung rotated her shoulder with her racket in tow. She simulated a few smashes while Gaeul warmed herself up as well. “Oh, it’s been so long. Do you think we can still rally like before?”

“That depends if you can still respond to each hit,” Gaeul teased, squatting down low. “Your serve. Don’t hold back on me.”

Even if they didn’t exchange a single word with each other, Gaeul could feel the two of them catching up. With what their mouths couldn’t express, their bodies did as they darted across each side of the field to respond to one another’s attacks.

Wonyoung would serve, and immediately, Gaeul knew where should be aiming for. She flicked the shuttlecock back at Woyoung lightly each time, provoking the younger girl to expend all her energy with needlessly powerful shots that Gaeul could easily respond to. 

Gaeul found it adorable how competitive Wonyoung would always get.

Her eyes would always be fixed on Gaeul, trying to read her movements, imitating her stances. She would grunt whenever her swings were more powerful than intended, wincing when her muscle strained after each stroke. It was hard to ignore the way Wonyoung would bite her lip whenever she was deep in focus too—almost threatening to spill blood across her lipstick with each miss.

Gaeul went easy on her. It wasn’t because she didn’t respect Wonyoung enough as an opponent—no. But because she was too preoccupied trying to burn this version of Wonyoung into her memory.

The Wonyoung that could reach further out from her person instead of whining about ‘unfair plays’. The Wonyoung that did a little dance after scoring each point, cheeks all puffed out like a proud little girl. The Wonyoung whose sweat trickled down her face, tracing the contours of her visage, before dropping down to her chest like she was a model for a sports commercial.

She felt foreign, but she also felt awfully familiar to Gaeul—this version of Wonyoung. So she wanted to file it away in her memories at least once before her trip home was over.

With a final smash that resulted in the shuttlecock barely missing the boundary line, Wonyoung pumped her fist in the air and jogged in place in excitement. “That’s the match point! Good game, unnie.”

Panting and smudging the back of her hand against her sweaty brows, Gaeul feigned her smile through her inability to keep up with Wonyoung. “Good … good game. That was intense.”

Wonyoung pouted, spinning her racket in front of her as she walked towards the net. “You just let me win again. You always let me win.”

Trembling from exhaustion, Gaeul huffed and shook her head. “No, I … I didn’t let you win this time.”

===

As Gaeul missed the shuttlecock flying her way, she looked behind her in confusion to see where it went. Meanwhile, Wonyoung was chuckling at her as she picked it up from the asphalt road.

“Unnie, eyes on the birdie! You’re going easy on me again.”

Gaeul couldn’t have been insulted any further than that. As she served it back to Wonyoung and they entered another intense rally strafing side to side along the width of the street, Gaeul’s eyes weren’t fixed on the zipping shuttlecock.

They were trained on Wonyoung.

So as she swatted her racket the wrong way and ended up missing, Wonyoung cheered and stuck her tongue out at Gaeul. “I hate it when you go easy on me. Doesn’t feel like a fair fight.”

But between her sweat and the hair that clung to her face, Gaeul could only do so much to hide her smile. “Yeah … tell me about it.”

It was never fair for Gaeul having to go up against such an adorable girl each time.

===

Wonyoung poked her stomach with the end of her racket. “I hate it when you do that. Never feels like a fair fight.”

Catching her breath, Gaeul pushed her racket away so she could poke Wonyoung with hers. “Round two? Or are you tired already?”

“What you are is too sweaty,” Wonyoung teased, pulling the towel off her shoulder to bring it towards Gaeul’s face. With gentle dabs, Wonyoung wiped the sweat and moisture from Gaeul’s cheeks. She took extra care to not poke her eyes by accident, and Gaeul felt this from the way her thumb gently snaked its way down the bridge of her nose.

It’s unfair. It was always unfair.

The way Wonyoung would always get this close and cause sparks to immediately fly in Gaeul’s head. The way Wonyoung remained calm as they shared an innocent touch. The way Gaeul was the only one attaching any meaning to the kind gestures of her hoobae, the only one wishing the moment would drag on for longer between the two of them, the only one glancing away in embarrassment while the heat blossomed across her face. 

It didn’t feel fair at all.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

Sunghoon’s voice sounded both grating and accusatory.

Clutching his basketball close to his chest, he approached the two girls from the side while still covered in a fresh sheen of sweat. The two separated in a heartbeat as he walked up to Wonyoung, who was frozen in place. “Babe, what the fuck? I thought we were going to spend the day together. Why are you out here?”

Wonyoung couldn’t respond.

Dropping the ball, Sunghoon crossed his arms and stepped even closer to Wonyoung. “I thought we were all going to play together? Didn’t I tell you to just wait for me to warm-up before I’d let you join me?”

“I-I … Hoonie, I … don’t get mad at unnie … It was my idea to come here—”

He grabbed Wonyoung’s arm and twisted it behind him, scooping the ball up with his foot, and dragging his girlfriend away from the badminton court—away from Gaeul. Gaeul’s grip on her racket tightened so much that it bent between her fingers.

But all she could do was watch as Sunghoon scolded Wonyoung.

Once he was done acting up, Sunghoon let her go and wiped his face with a towel. Over her shoulder, he gave Gaeul a look she would never forget. “How about we shoot some hoops together? Just you and me.”

“One on one.”

“Sunghoon—no, Gaeul’s not into basketball. We only ever played it during P.E.—.”

Sunghoon raised a hand to his lips and Wonyoung immediately shut up. Returning to Gaeul, he dribbled the ball by his side as he held his gaze on her. “What do you say? First to thirty points. Just you and me. Are you down or what?”

Gaeul swallowed coarsely. She knew that look that Sunghoon had on him.

That wasn’t a look of trying to get along with your girlfriend’s best friend. That wasn’t a look of trying to start a friendly match with someone they had just met. That was the look of someone who wanted to make a point in front of his girlfriend—someone who wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

She glanced briefly towards Wonyoung, and across her frightened and concerned face. Gaeul found her answer there.

“Sure. You take the first possession.”

“What?” Wonyoung gasped in disbelief, finally able to speak again. “U-Unnie, you don’t have to—.”

Sunghoon’s sneakers squeaking back onto the court was enough to interrupt Wonyoung. Gaeul wasted no time and followed suit, trailing her opponent onto the paint. She positioned herself in front of him for the check, and when he passed the ball to her with a bounce, she passed it back with another bounce.

She didn’t have to do this. She didn’t need to play into his hands. But for Gaeul, this wasn’t about proving something to anyone.

This was about sending a message to Wonyoung.

The first few rounds were tense. Gaeul could feel her chest tighten as she held her breath, which wasn’t a good idea given how much she was exerting herself physically. When Sunghoon was in possession of the ball, he pushed to make in-the-paint shots every chance he got, forcing Gaeul to guard him closely. But even then, he wasn’t pressured by this. Her lack of height made it easy for Gaeul to be scored on.

Whenever it was Gaeul’s turn to handle the ball, she struggled between many different things: dribbling around without it being stolen from her, finding the right angle to shoot as Sunghoon chased her around the court, keeping up between rapid changes of faking shots to driving towards the bucket.

Time and again, as Gaeul put in thrice the effort, Sunghoon just needed a single breath to match her performance. This lead to Gaeul being easily outscored by Wonyoung’s boyfriend.

Meanwhile, on the sidelines, Wonyoung had both of her hands gripped across her mouth the entire time.

Seeing her like that motivated Gaeul to keep pushing.

She rotated the ball around Sunghoon, pushing only when the path was clear. She made risky shots hoping for a quick score. She even went as far as to chase after the ball aggressively, trying to knock it loose from his grasp. But Sunghoon was more experienced. Sunghoon was more physically inclined. Sunghoon was more capable.

Her efforts were easily rendered moot by him.

Folding her hand forward and following through, just when Gaeul thought she had scored a three-point shot, she felt the force of a speeding truck collide against her torso.

Gaeul flew across the court and slammed onto the ground.

“UNNIE!”

Her knee flared up. When Gaeul touched it, she felt shivers down her spine as she saw a mixture of blood and peeled skin against her fingers. In the distance, Gaeul watched as Sunghoon grabbed the ball midair and dunked it into the basket.

“See that, babe? That was a pretty sick dunk—.”

Wonyoung slapped him across the face and pushed him out of the way, rushing to Gaeul’s side. “U-U-Unnie … unnie, can you move it? Can you stand up? Let’s get you to the benches.”

“I’m fine,” Gaeul insisted, leaning on her hands and knees. But the moment her injured knee came into contact with the floor as she was on her way up, her whole body shuddered from the pain. “ARGHH … god …”

Sunghoon trailed behind Wonyoung, holding the ball by his waist, whistling. “Looks pretty bad. She’ll be fine though, babe. That was just a flop anyway. She’ll recover—nothing serious.”

“Nothing serious?” Wonyoung growled, beating a fist into Sunghoon’s chest. “Nothing serious—you shoved her across the court!”

Sunghoon threw his hands up. “It’s just a game, babe. It’s part of the sport. I’m sure she knew it could happen, right? Just tough it out.”

===

“Just tough it out!”

Gaeul could hear her father words echoing throughout the living room. It was dark. The only lights that flashed against his face were coming from the TV. Even then, Gaeul could clearly see the anger etched onto his face. “I didn’t raise any weak children. So what if you’re getting bullied? Back in my day, we didn’t throw food at the weaker kids. We really put them through the ringer. You’re lucky this is all they did to you.”

Gaeuls fingers trembled as she reached for her shorn hair that still smelled of cafeteria food.

Clutching her soiled hardbound books in one hand, Gaeul wanted to hide behind them as her father continued berating her. All the while, those four words kept ringing inside her mind—not just that day, but every time she had ever felt small.

Just tough it out.

===

Gaeul didn’t even want to look at Sunghoon—or else she’d cave to her impulses and peel the skin off his stupid face.

“You’re hopeless,” Wonyoung grunted before rushing over to where their things were. Sunghoon proved Wonyoung’s accusation to be true as he continued shooting some hoops by himself. It didn’t take Wonyoung long before she returned on her knees with a medical kit. “Hold still.”

Gaeul sat up hugging her knee and allowed Wonyoung to clean and treat her wound. Sunghoon said something about needing to ‘get more protein’ and left the two girls to their own devices.

Wonyoung remained silent the entire time she was dabbing cotton against Gaeul’s wound. Gaeul could sense how frustrated the younger girl felt. Once upon a time, it was Gaeul who was cleaning Wonyoung’s cuts and wounds for her. Not like this. Not the other way around.

But, Gaeul thought, if she got to feel more of Wonyoung’s care directed towards her like this, then maybe earning a few more scars wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

“Is he always like that?” Gaeul gestured with her lips, trying to break the ice. “Feeling like he needs to constantly show off or something?”

“He used to be the team captain of their basketball team back in high school,” Wonyoung explained, biting her lip momentarily to position the dressing just right. “But he didn’t get drafted in college. It’s a bit of a … sore spot for him. He only ever gets to play casually with his old buddies here and there. He still tries to stay in shape.”

“Explains why he’s always over-compensating for things then,” Gaeul scoffed.

“Stop it. You … you don’t know him as well as I do.”

===

“How long has she been like this?”

Wonyoung’s mother shook her head, pacing back and forth along the short length of the hallway. “Several hours at least. She won’t eat. Won’t say anything to me. She’s just … locked in there.”

Gaeul wondered what happened. Maybe it’s something she didn’t want to talk about yet? Something she didn’t want to tell others yet? But even then, Gaeul hadn’t seen Wonyoung shut herself in this tightly before. This was new even for her.

“Can I try?”

The words sounded absurd to her mother. “I already did what I could, but … sure. Give it a shot.”

Gaeul dropped her backpack on the floor and pressed an ear against Wonyoung’s door. Taking a deep breath, she knocked thrice. “Wonyoung? Wonyoung-ah … it’s me. We don’t have to talk, and … you can just stay where you are but … can you … can you open up? Can you let me in?”

A moment passed. Then another.

Suddenly, the door squeaked open just an inch, and both Gaeul and Wonyoung’s mother stared at each other in disbelief. “How did you … how did she ..?”

Gaeul sighed with a gentle smile before entering her best friend’s room. “You don’t know her like I do.”

===

After Wonyoung was done patching Gaeul up, she sighed in relief on her knees, palms flat against the polished court. But there was a certain weight on Wonyoung’s shoulders. A weight that Gaeul recognized—that she was familiar with.

“What’s on your mind? Sunghoon?” Gaeul probed, gently converting to a different sitting position. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. His ego barely seemed damaged when I managed to score a few points on him.”

Wonyoung shrugged, sitting next to Gaeul now as they both stared at the empty court. “Just … I’m just tired, unnie. I never really told you this, but … gosh—I didn’t even want to bring it up since … since I didn’t want to trouble you while you’re home but … it’s been hectic for me since we last spoke. Since you were last here …”

“After graduation, I had to help out with the family business. For some reason, getting a high school diploma was enough for them to drag me into things I barely knew how to do. One moment I was watching the shop while they ran errands outside, another moment and I was doing inventory and closing deals with their clients. Doesn’t help that they kept comparing me to Jinyoung … It isn’t her fault though, but … I just wish she wasn’t as hardworking of a person … I can barely keep up with her in college … She’s all everyone talks about.”

“That was you back in high school, you know?” Gaeul teased, but Wonyoung shut her up with a roll of bandages to her face.

“I wish I was half as good now as I was back in high school. It’s harder. Everything. Getting good grades, fighting for an internship slot, dealing with relationships. I-I … I don’t know … I’m thankful I have what I have, I guess, but … sometimes … sometimes it’s just too much, you know?”

Wonyoung placed a hand on her unnie’s own hand and squeezed it tightly. “I envy you, Gaeul. You got to move away from … from all this. You got to live the life you wanted to. I-I … I was almost mad at you actually,” she added, breathing heavily after a chuckle. “That you got the chance to leave. To leave all this behind. While I … while I had to stay and deal with it all alone …”

The shakiness wasn’t what broke Wonyoung—it was what she said next. “God, s-sorry … I’m such a mess … still trying to figure this out and all, but … But I’m happy you came back. I’m … I’m happy you’re here.”

So it was Gaeul now. That was the first thing Gaeul could even think of. Suddenly, she was being called Gaeul again.

Pushing that petty thought aside, Gaeul knew what she had to say to Wonyoung. She should support her. Tell her she had Sunghoon by her side. Tell her she felt bad for leaving Wonyoung behind—how if she knew this would all happen to her hoobae, she would have given things a second thought. She wanted to tell Wonyoung that she understood how she felt. How her life wasn’t any better than hers. How she was dealing with her own pile of crap too.

Gaeul wanted to tell Wonyong that she longed for the day she might return home to see her, to be with her again. Maybe—just maybe—being with her in more ways than one. But instead, Gaeul’s lips pushed out something else.

“Viktor Frankl. Ever heard of him?”

Wonyoung furrowed her brows. “Is he a dead actor or something?”

“Well, dead—yes. Actor—no. Encountered him in one of my majors before. His life was very tragic. He said something that stuck with me … He said that ‘Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom’. I think about that a lot. I think … I think we always have a choice. I chose mine, and … you chose yours. Even if our situations are different, I think you’re doing well. I think you’re choosing well. So don’t doubt yourself—because I never did.”

Sighing softly, Wonyoung shook her head. “Yeah, but your choice was to leave, Gaeul. I chose to stay.”

Gaeul couldn’t say anything in response to that.

Interrupting the awkward silence she caused herself, Wonyoung shot up and stretched her arms. “We should probably get something to eat too. Do you want to check out the canteens here? I don’t know what they’re serving though.”

“Please—anything would be better than the Chinese we had yesterday,” Gaeul scoffed, accepting Wonyoung’s offer to help her up. “I’m guessing you’re paying since I’m the injured one?”

Wonyoung bit her lip and wrapped an arm around her unnie. “Fine, I’ll let it slide today. But maybe we should hit the mall together before you go. There’s a ton of new spots that opened up. Have you been?”

The thought of their little family trip made Gaeul’s eyes roll. “Don’t make me remember it again. Malling with my family went terribly yesterday.”

“So it’s a date then? Just you and me this time? I promise.”

Gaeul drained the anticipation from her face as thoroughly as she could before nodding. “Yeah. It’s a date then.”

“Just you and me.”

==

Their date at the mall went nothing like Gaeul’s family trip.

At Wonyoung’s behest, the two of them were up for another early day as the younger girl insisted they head to the mall just as it opened. She wanted to watch a movie before the cinema got packed. She had forgotten it was a weekday, and they ended up having the whole theater to themselves.

They were supposed to be watching some sort of summer romance film. It was rated positively online, Gaeul saw. But the two couldn’t help themselves from picking apart the things the characters were saying to each other.”

“I just can’t … I can’t live without you!” Gaeul exclaimed in an exaggerated fashion. “You mean everything to me!”

Wonyoung glanced away and swatted at Gaeul. “I don’t know if this is right for the both of us. I mean, you’ve hurt me once. Who says you won’t … hurt me again!”

As they burst into a sea of laughter, Gaeul leaned towards Wonyoung with her lips at the ready, trying to emulate the kissing scene. Wonyoung glanced at her for a moment, and when Gaeul took a peek, she swore Wonyoung looked like she was actually going to fall for it and kiss her for real.

But at the last second, Gaeul pulled away. “Just kidding. Don’t get your hopes up, or I’m telling your little ‘Hoonie’.”

Wonyoung gasped and started pelting her unnie with popcorn. Gaeul ended up grabbing a fistful of hers and showered Wonyoung with it as the two of them filled the empty cinema with kernels and laughs.

They were supposed to have some Italian at a fancier restaurant Wonyoung had looked into the night before. She even made a reservation for today. But when they approached the woman at the desk, their booking wasn’t reflecting on the records.

Wonyoung wasn’t too happy about that.

“It’s fine, we’ll find another place. We could take a walk by the foodcou—.”

Wonyoung slammed her purse onto the woman’s desk and leaned forwards. “No. It’s not. I paid for this reservation—we paid for this. Ma’am, do you know how long we waited for our anniversary to come around? To have a nice meal together at a quirky little restaurant like yours? Only to be stopped. At the fucking door. By your poor service? We could have booked anywhere else, but we settled with this. Seems like we made a huge mistake. Unbelievable. I am never coming back here again.”

Gaeul couldn’t believe her ears. “A-Anniversary?”

Wonyoung snapped at her this time. “Babe, we talked about this already. Today is our official anniversary—not the day we met! Get it through to your head, will you?”

Gaeul surrendered any attempt she previously had to try and quell the situation, letting Wonyoung run her mouth with her plan. After going full-blown Karen not just at the poor woman but also her manager, they somehow managed to get seated at the restaurant and even got offered some complimentary ricotta and antipasto while waiting.

Wonyoung ordered ragu with polenta while Gaeul chose a serving of carbonara. The two ate quietly as they felt the watchful gaze of the staff upon them, constantly at the ready in case they ever needed anything.

“Are you always like this on dates? If I was Sunghoon, I’d be scared shitless every time.”

Wonyoung bit the tip of her fork and shrugged. “Not really. I let him decide everything, honestly. Even if it’s … not really my style. Saves us the arguments. You should know—I let everything slide. I only get worked up about things I care about.”

Gaeul’s heart fluttered in the most inconvenient way between bites of her pasta, but she told herself not to think too much into it.

“How’s the carbonara? Too creamy? Too cheesy? If they prepared it like a catering would, I’ll—.”

But Gaeul hushed her with a forkful of pasta to her lips, asking her to taste it. She helped Wonyoung clean up by wiping the polenta and carbonara sauce off her lips afterwards.

The two stared at each other for a moment.

“A-Ah, I hope I’m not interrupting, but your … complimentary gelato is here.”

It was only then that the two pulled away and returned their hands to their own laps. Wonyoung addressed the waiter with a nod as he placed the dessert on their table.

Gaeul nudged her before scooping up some of the ice cream. “Told you—scared shitless.”

Before they left, Wonyoung dragged Gaeul around a final time to quickly go shopping for things Gaeul could bring back to her dorms. Wonyoung claimed it would be cheaper to buy them here—of good quality too. Gaeul grew a bit concerned when Wonyoung started acting like her mother, examining her thoroughly each time before chucking stuff into their cart. She couldn’t see half the things Wonyoung bought for her. The only thing Gaeul saw each time was the glint of her father’s credit card by the cashier.

When Gaeul asked if it was a good idea to have this much money spent on her—let alone coming from the pocket of Wonyoung’s dad—Wonyoung simply said, “If he knew it was for you, he’d forgive me in a heartbeat. I’m sure my mother would feel the same way.”

And for some reason, Gaeul heard wedding bells upon hearing that.

As she held Wonyoung’s hand, navigating through flocks of people, her smiling face painted with a myriad of different colored lights, she couldn’t even think about her numbered days during her stay, the troubles she would have to face once she got back, or what she was going to the do with herself in the future.

All Gaeul wished for was for this day to never end.

Today, Gaeul had fun. She had never felt this much fun in a while.

Today, Gaeul felt like this was the closest they ever were to being who they used to be back then—before things got complicated.

Today, Gaeul felt like this was the closest she and Wonyoung had ever been.

So when they arrived home, and the two of them abandoned their bikes faster than they could blink, Wonyoung ran up the stairs towards her room, and Gaeul trailed behind her with heavy footsteps as she paused at the door.

“Hm?” Wonyoung gestured, getting comfortable on her bed. “Come in. It’s not like it’s the first time.”

But for Gaeul, it felt like the first time every time. Especially now. She took a deep breath, and when she felt ready, she stepped in.

It’d been a while.

She saw the familiar arrangement of her bed: bedsheet under comforter, under blanket, under pillow, under stuffed squirrel. Pink hairdryer, pink vanity, pink bulletin board, pink tacks holding down polaroids, pink hangers peeking through the pink wardrobe, pink panties on the floor, pink bags filled with makeup, pink index cards from her classes.

But against the sunset that filtered through Wonyoung’s window, the room was painted with a gentle haze of orange and teal.

“Come here,” Wonyoung invited, patting the fluffy spot next to her. “Join me. Let’s try some of these out.”

“I um … I’m a bit sweaty. It’s embarrassing,” Gaeul mumbled, fingers forgetting how to hold paper bags, lips forgetting how to speak. “I-I’m good.”

“Well, why don’t we shower together? Just a quick one.”

===

“Are you kidding me? You’re insane—you’re actually insane.”

But Wonyoung didn’t care. They didn’t have much time. If they were going to make it to the party that night, they had to spend less time arguing and more time getting dressed—and they couldn’t get dressed without a shower.

Without thinking twice, Wonyoung yanked Gaeul into the shower with her. Both of them now buck naked, pressed up against each other within this tight space, looking each other eye to eye as the water rained down on them.

“Well? Get scrubbing. We don’t have all night,” Wonyoung demanded as she covered herself in bubbles and suds.

But in that moment, Gaeul could not scrub herself at all.

===

This time, however, Gaeul made sure to scrub herself thoroughly. It helped to keep her mind off of the imposing distraction in front of her. Thankfully the shower didn’t last very long. Wonyoung wasn’t lying when she said it would be a quick one. They just scrubbed between their sweatier bits and regions before rinsing it all off at the same time.

Once they were wrapped up with towels around their body and hair, the two girls got on the bed. If Gaeul wasn’t conscious earlier, she most certainly was now with less layers between them. But the squeeze of Wonyoung’s hand around hers pulled her back to reality, calming her down.

Wonyoung offered to do her nails. She wanted to see how the polish would look on Gaeul’s fingers. While Gaeul told her she should have asked for a sample before buying at the store, Wonyoung argued otherwise and demanded her unnie to stop moving her hands.

===

“Stop moving!”

Wonyoung giggled, flicking her fingers back and forth. “But it’s so ticklish, unnie. Stop hahaha. Ya, stop!”

Gaeul had to pin the younger girl’s knuckles to her own lap just to make her keep still. Eventually, by a stroke of luck, she managed to coat them all with a decent sheen. “There, how does it look? Do you like it?”

But Wonyoung didn’t even have to look at it. She smiled from ear to ear and kissed Gaeul on the cheek. “I love it, unnie!”

===

“I love your fingers.”

“What …?”

Wonyoung chuckled as she finished up Gaeul’s last pinky. “I said, I love your fingers. They’re so … pretty. They’re nice to hold. They suit a girl like you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means,” Wonyoung paused, lifting Gaeul’s hands up to eye level so her unnie could get a better look of her nails. “You’re pretty. Just take the compliment, will you?”

Gaeul was too busy hiding her shock to look at how her nails were done.

“I think they’re a bit too shiny, but you could pull it off,” Wonyoung noted, curling Gaeul’s fingers for her by the first knuckle. “Now I wish we got the darker shade. I think it would look sexy with that kind of gloss. Ooh—let’s try the lipstick now.”

She bounded off the bed and reached for the other small bag. Fishing out a bottle of liquid lipstick, Wonyoung was about to uncap it when Gaeul interjected, “What if I try it on you?”

Wonyoung stopped. “The lipstick?”

Gaeul nodded, retrieving it from the younger girl. While Wonyoung struck her with a look of confusion, Gaeul didn’t stutter. “Yeah. You have … lips that would suit testing out lipstick on, is all.”

“You know you could have just said you liked my lips.”

But how could she? It was too on the nose. “Right. Anyway—pucker up. I don’t want to accidentally paint your nose.”

Wonyoung remained deftly still. But for some reason, Gaeul’s hand trembled as she traced the outline of her luscious lips.

Normally, other girls would close their eyes while she put lipstick on them. Gaeul found it exceptionally difficult to lather Wonyoung’s lips because the other girl was looking right at her the entire time.

And all Gaeul could think about was looking at her eyes instead.

After what felt like half an hour—and a couple of frozen shoulders later—Wonyoung’s lips were painted a neat shade of pink. Gaeul wasn’t sure what color it was supposed to look like exactly, but she’d put it between lavender and cherry blossom.

Smacking her lips together as it dried, Wonyoung nodded slowly. “Does it have a scent? It’s supposed to have some fragrance apparently, but I don’t really smell it.”

Gaeul leaned closer, lips nearly touching Wonyoung’s, but neither of the two girls pulled away.  Even as she spoke, Gaeul stayed where she was, perched deathly close to Wonyoung. “Yeah … smells like bubblegum and cherries …”

Gaeul thought to the number of times they had kissed in the past. She thought back to the number of times she had imagined it was Wonyoung whenever she kissed another girl. And she thought back to Viktor Frankl.

She could have kissed Wonyoung. She should have.

But Wonyoung’s damn phone rung and ruined the moment.

Pulling away, Gaeul rubbed her nape and apologized with a soft chuckle. “Go answer it. I’ll … I’ll just be over here.”

As Gaeul gave Wonyoung some space, she couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat pounding in her eardrums. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself. There was no use getting worked up over nothing.

Over simply the prospect of something that could have been.

“It’s just Sunghoon,” Wonyoung uttered matter-of-factly, crashing back on the bed. She rolled onto her side and propped herself up on one arm. “Just reminding me about the party we’re hosting tomorrow. Last one before summer ends.”

Gaeul nodded. “Good luck then. You two have fun.”

“You should go.”

Gaeul immediately knew the response to that. “You and I both know I … I wouldn’t belong. I doubt I’d even know anyone.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Wonyoung countered, scooting closer towards Gaeul. She took her unnie’s hands into hers and swayed them. “You could drink a little. Meet some new people. Maybe … maybe even find someone you gel with. Wouldn’t hurt, right? Besides, none of the old people from high school are going to be there if that’s what you were worried about.”

===

“Well well well, if it isn’t our favorite loner again,” one of them announced while the rest of the cheerleaders with her circled her desk. “I heard about your little trip to the principal’s office. Wasn’t cigarettes this time, was it? Something about … kissing.”

Her posse gasped as if they hadn’t seen it coming, gathering a larger crowd from within the classroom.

Their captain kicked Gaeul’s desk and lowered her face towards hers, which was buried deep between the pages of her book. “I don’t care if you pretend not to listen. Makes this easier anyway. But next time, before you beat up one of my girls to get revenge for that little student council friend of yours—think twice. Or another rumor might hit the principal’s office.”

She chuckled, standing back up. “Such a fucking weirdo. Always reading. Saying nothing to anyone—anyone who isn’t Jang Wonyoung.”

Gaeul twitched, fingers gripping the edges of her book tighter now.

“Oh? Struck a chord? Tch—could only get a reaction out of you when she’s in the conversation, huh? Must be some kind of sick stalker of hers at this point. Admirer? Hah, wait a minute: I bet she’s gay—.”

Gaeul’s fist flew into her face faster than her book could slam shut. Blood covered the floor before any of the other cheerleaders could even get her off their captain.

===

Gaeul rubbed over her knuckles as if they still ached, vividly remembering the bruises that bloomed on them that day. “I’ll … I don’t know—I’ll think about it.”

“Could you come? For me? Please?”

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Gaeul had hoped to open them once more to some clarity. But she should have known better—for all that filled her vision was the begging face of Jang Wonyoung.

And of course, Lucky Vicky always got what she wanted.

Smiling faintly, Gaeul surrendered with a gentle nod. “Screw it—sure … How could I ever say no to you?”

==

Gaeul was scheduled to leave in two days. She had no reason to attend Wonyoung’s party tonight.

When she pondered on what would even face her at that party, what she hoped to gain from that party, and what she might do with the aftermath of it, Gaeul couldn’t really find any answers. Her attendance felt trivial—it mattered not in the grander scheme of things. At the end of the day, she was still leaving. At the end of the day, she and Wonyoung would resume being distant friends.

At the end of the day, she would still be with Sunghoon.

Maybe it was wiser for her to leave in peace, Gaeul thought. Her last encounter with Wonyoung’s boyfriend wasn’t the most fruitful one. Honestly, if Wonyoung hadn’t stepped in and planned that date they went on yesterday, she would have left home for a second time with a bitter taste in her mouth. Remembering the moments they shared from the previous day, Gaeul let out a deep sigh.

Maybe it’s best if she left with just good memories. Maybe it’s best if she left on a high note.

Besides, Gaeul felt that she already had what she needed. She already found what she came here for. Although, she didn’t know what that even was. Gaeul just told herself it was alright now.

It would be ok.

So as she sat at the edge of the windowsill, her bed already cleared out in preparation for her brother to use her room once more, she lit a cigarette and clenched it between her teeth as she strung up messages to send to Liz.

[Liz] You’re coming home soon right? How’s it going? Please tell me you made some progress at the very least … >.<

[You] I asked you about Rei first Way to change topics smh

[Liz] I … Fine … She’s … coming along She asked me out yesterday. Weekend trip Can you believe that?

[You] Not at all Pics or it didn’t happen lol

[Liz] ?!?!?

Liz in fact did send her a picture of her and her supposed date making a cute heart pose. However, Gaeul noticed that the pink-haired girl next to her friend was blushing harder than a fresh tomato.

[Liz] And you say I’m the passive one Anyway! So what about you! Any luck? ???

[You] With what?

[Liz] Moving on Trying again IDK with you You tell me atp

[You] It’s where it needs to be I think iT is what it is

Before Gaeul could delve into further detail, a knock on her door stirred her from her rumination. “What is it?”

It was her mother. She glided into her room with her hands clasped together, scanning the four walls of her daughter’s living space in search of the ghosts she had left behind—and would be leaving behind once again. “You’re at home today. That’s … that’s not like you.”

Gaeul shrugged, not even bothering to hide her smoke. “I just needed some time alone, eomma. Never got much of a chance to enjoy my room again. God, do you know how small  my bedroom is at the apartment? I could fit three of the bedrooms in here.”

“It’s why I begged you so hard not to go, honey. But you’re just like your father,” her mother continued, standing close to her now. Gaeul could sense she wanted to place a hand on her shoulder, but she stopped herself. “You’re just like your appa. No matter how much control I have at home, appa always does his own thing. You’re headstrong like that.”

Gaeul scoffed and took another drag, letting the smoke billow from her lips. “Wish I could say the same when I’m back in university.”

“Your friend,” her mother added, sounding a little hesitant with the way her voice softened. “She called our house many times tonight. Ya—I got scared. I thought something had happened to you. But then you’re just … here.”

“She’s looking for you, you know?”

===

Ring-ring.

Gaeul lowered the volume of her phone and placed it face down against the table. She was busy with entrance exam reviews. She didn’t have time for distractions. She didn’t have time for stupid friends.

Ring-ring. Ring-ring.

Gaeul was so close to throwing her phone out the window and beating up her brother for a new one. God, what would it take for Wonyoung to stop calling her? She wasn’t going to indulge that privileged little brat until she apologized for what she had said.

Ring-ring. Ring-ring. Ring-ring.

Gaeul swiped her phone and hit the button. “Ya! What the hell is your—.”

But there was nothing but tears on the other end of the line.

“Won … -young …?”

Fighting to speak through her muffled sobs and pained tears, Wonyoung whispered, “U-Unnie … why didn’t you … why didn’t you answer …? Why didn’t you pick up …? They came for me … all of them … And I needed you …”

“I needed you …”

Rubbing the tears from her eyes, Gaeul pinched her nose and snorted before returning to the call. “S-Sorry … I’m sorry Wonyoung … I’ll … I’ll never do that again …Next time you call, I-I’ll be right there in a flash … o-o-ok?”

But the other girl wouldn’t stop crying for her unnie.

===

Biting her lip, Gaeul opened her eyes and crushed her cigarette underneath her knee, letting it drop onto their front lawn. Slipping her legs back inside, Gaeul landed squarely on her feet and turned to her mother. “Right. I’ll … I’ll be gone for a bit then.”

Finally, her mother squeezed her shoulder and managed a smile. “Take care, honey.”

The party was scheduled to start at six. It was already nine-forty-five.

As soon as Gaeul got to Wonyoung’s house, she could smell the powerful mixture of booze and different types of smoke just wafting about the air. She clicked her teeth at the thought of police cars following the heavy trail of smoke that was coming from her pool. 

Once the door opened, she was half-expecting Sunghoon again, so her fists were already clenched by her sides. But when Wonyoung answered the door looking flustered and a bit sweaty, she dropped the act in an instant. “Unnnnieeeee~ You came! Hahaha, I knew you would!”

Gaeul embraced—or more like caught—Wonyoung as she leaned fully into her person. Patting her back, she let Wonyoung rest on her shoulders until she could stand upright again. “Yeah. I guess I … I guess I did. Seems like the party’s well under way. Don’t mind me. I’ll just be drinking on the side.”

But Wonyoung shook her head, wrapping an arm around her unnie. “I’m so happpyyy … to see you! You should—hic—do more than just drink though. Party hard! You’re … you’re leaving tomorrow anyway. Didn’t … didn’t even—hic—tell me …”

Gaeul helped Wonyoung get back inside as she guided the girl through her own front door. “I technically told you earlier this week, but I guess … never mind that—.”

Before she could ask where any of the drinks were, a familiar boy in a Hawaiian shirt came dancing into view. “Yoooo! You came!”

For some reason, Sunghoon thought it was a good idea to chest bump her. Wonyoung stepped out of the way and giggled as his bare chest slammed right into Gaeul, nearly sending her flying into the door. “How’s that knee of yours, champ? Still wounded? Haha, I told Wonyoung to stop worrying about it. Seems like I was right.”

Gaeul wanted to choke him with the sleeves of his stupid Hawaiian shirt, but Wonyoung was watching. “It’s been better. Thanks for asking.”

Sunghoon nodded, rather tipsy himself, as he pulled Wonyoung into him. He wrapped an arm around his girlfriend possessively before nodding cockily towards Gaeul. “Don’t drink too much now. There aren’t enough buckets for the lightweights to puke in after all.”

Gaeul swiped a beer from a girl in glasses who was passing by and immediately downed the drink in one go. “Oh you are so fucking on, pretty boy.”

Gaeul must have only been there for a few hours, but she swore it felt like she was there since the start of the party.

She stayed long enough to see people getting wasted on enough alcohol to spontaneously combust, to witness smoke forming like a low rolling fog across their heads, to see soaked bodies covered in different fluids, grinding bodies that spared no preferences, tangling bodies that laid lifelessly throughout Wonyoung’s home.

This was a party alright. A college party like any other. But in between crushed beer cans and drags of her cigarette, Gaeul would always look for Wonyoung.

There, when she was in between her college friends, bouncing to the beat of the music. When their eyes crossed paths, she bit her lip and winked at her unnie.

There, when she was struggling to open another bottle of beer with her bare hands, and her boyfriend just nicked it open with his teeth. Sunghoon didn’t waste the chance to act all smug about it too.

There, when she was staring outside—at the pool area—making sure nobody was doing anything concerning. She almost had to rush out when someone tried to cannonball into the water from the second floor balcony.

And there, when Wonyoung was finally alone, sitting on the couch next to a couple who was less making out with each other and more trying to eat each other’s faces off, Gaeul saw her chance.

And she took it.

“This seat taken?” she teased, pushing the other girl to the side before even waiting for a response. “My back’s killing me. Been standing all night.”

Wonyoung purred and pulled Gaeul closer, using her almost like a pillow. She latched onto her unnie’s arm and smiled up at her. “Come stay with me then. I’m bored.”

So Gaeul indulged her.

They talked about many things, things that most people wouldn’t normally care to talk about at a party. They talked about shooting stars, about therapy, about dormitory life, about minimum wage disparity; a bit about first kisses, then train stations, maybe some stories about painkillers, and then internship applications.

As the minutes ticked by and the evening continued to age, through the haze and buzz of alcohol and poorly edited EDM, whenever Gaeul focused her vision once more, all her eyes could really see was her.

All she could really see, and care about, was Jang Wonyoung.

And just like that, they were kids again.

She remembered a time—likely when they were eleven—when they would talk about very different things: about One Direction, or wedding gifts for older cousins, maybe the covers of magazines, and occasionally about eating strawberry donuts by the dozens.

She kept remembering a time when it was just them. Just the two of them. But really, Gaeul just needed an excuse to gaze into those deep hazel eyes of hers. In them, she could see everything she was avoiding: herself, her life, her.

Jang Wonyoung.

“—super over it, remember? Unnie?”

But Gaeul wasn’t responding anymore. It didn’t take Wonyoung long for her to realize that her unnie wasn’t listening to her this entire time. Smiling, she nestled her head closer. “You look like you have something to say. You better not puke on me, Gaeul.”

There it was again. Gaeul.

Gaeul leaned forward. Wonyoung did too. Her breath was so pronounced on Gaeul’s lips that she could smell her lunch from earlier along with the bottles of beer she’d already had tonight. But Gaeul didn’t care one bit. She pressed on until their lips barely touched. 

No. Not like this … not …

Once again, she darted off to the side, leaving the poor girl to move forward continuously with her eyes closed.

Sighing, Gaeul settled her hands on Wonyoung’s shoulders and pushed her gently back in place, stunning the younger girl. Gaeul swore she saw disappointment in her eyes. Was that a good thing? Was that a bad thing?

What did that even mean? Gaeul didn’t know. All she knew was that she felt sick to her stomach over what she almost did.

She felt sick thinking she could steal a kiss from Wonyoung while they were both intoxicated.

As if to shatter the moment further, a pair of hands reached out for Wonyoung’s forearms. Wonyoung didn’t even fight it. She allowed herself to be lifted up with a little ‘wee’ escaping her lips as Sunghoon pulled her into his arms.

Her boyfriend embraced her tightly from behind and kissed down the length of her bare neck, making Wonyoung moan.

The immediate crowd around them came bursting back to life, cheering them on. Someone told them to get a room. Another told Sunghoon he’s a lucky man. Yet another told them to fuck off for being a ‘bunch of normies’. But Gaeul couldn’t hide her disgust as Sunghoon tried to simulate having sex with her best friend, trying to make a spectacle out of it—trying to look cool.

Meanwhile, Wonyoung was feigning laughter in his arms, unable to really pry herself loose given her intoxication. Gaeul wondered if she could even do so without having any drinks in her system. Gaeul wondered if she would even think of it—think of getting her boyfriend mad.

When their eyes locked, that all changed.

Wonyoung stooped down and grabbed an empty can of beer to crush against Sunghoon’s head. His surprise gave her the opportunity to push him away, embracing herself as she crashed back down next to Gaeul.

Sunghoon was left stunned and covered in a light trail of alcohol.

“Sorry … Where were we?” Wonyoung muttered, sniffling. “Right, about—.”

Those two same hands fired towards Wonyoung’s wrists this time, jerking her off the couch. When Wonyoung turned to look at Sunghoon to tell him off, her expression immediately warped into one of fear.

He didn’t need to say a word. His face said it all.

Come with me.

Wonyoung shook her head. Sunghoon grunted and tugged on her again—harder this time. It wasn’t until the fourth tug that Wonyoung caved in and allowed Sunghoon to pull her away. Her boyfriend swept her up into his arms in some sort of bridal carry as she took her away to the kitchen, completely out of sight now.

Gaeul stayed put. It wasn’t her business to get involved with Wonyoung’s relationship. She had no reason to meddle. If she managed two years without her, surely, she’d manage another night with Sunghoon.

That’s what she wanted to believe, at least. But when she thought back to the scared look on her face—the face she had seen about three times alone this week, more than any times she had seen on Wonyoung in the past—Gaeul knew something was off.

She followed after Sunghoon into the kitchen.

When she peeked in from a delicate angle, she spotted Wonyoung pressed up against the cupboards, seated on the counter, Sunghoon between her legs. One of his hands was gripping her chin as he pulled her forwards and into him, making Wonyoung kiss him.

Between his moans and his advances, Gaeul could hear Wonyoung’s sobs and whimpers as clear as day.

After about a minute or so, Wonyoung finally found the strength to pull away from him and slap him hard across the face. Even Gaeul winced at the thought of being hit with that amount of force.

Groaning, Sunghoon rubbed the redness on his cheek. “Ouch … geez babe. Just say no. It’s as simple as that. Don’t need to hit me that hard… fuck …”

“Just say no?” Wonyoung raised, her voice trembling but her words rung true. “Just say—you … UGH … I am so … freaking … AGHHH!”

Wonyoung burst into tears and tore herself away from Sunghoon’s clutches, running out the other end of the kitchen. Before Sunghoon could notice Gaeul, she darted away just as quickly and pretended she didn’t see a thing.

On her way out, Gaeul heard sobbing from the guest bathroom. It was muffled, but she couldn’t have mistaken it.

She made her way slowly to the door, remained outside, and pressed her ear against it.

Inside, she could hear wailing and the sound of someone hurting themselves repeatedly, making Gaeul’s grip on the knob tighten. It was locked. There was nothing she could do. Even if she reached out to Wonyoung now, what would she say? What could she say?

Maybe she should just let it run its course.

Gaeul sauntered off towards the table of booze, picked up the opened bottle of cognac, and downed it all in one go.

She forced herself to blackout.

Saying she felt like shit the morning after was an understatement.

Cognac mixed with random beers was never a good idea. But Gaeul couldn’t care any less. Although, now that the hangover headache started to hit her, she wished she drank a bit more water the night before. 

Sitting up on the floor, she glanced around her. Everyone was gone.

Forcing herself onto her feet, she smoothened out the creases of her clothes and slung her jacket over her shoulders once again. “Wonyoung?”

She went through the entire first floor and second floor in search for her. It was only then that she thought to check outside. On her way to the backyard, she spotted Sunghoon passed out in a monoblock chair next to the door, so she made sure to be extra quiet while avoiding him.

As the ten o’clock sun blinded her eyes, raising one arm above her head, Gaeul stepped onto the grass and looked around her.

There, seated with her legs dipped into the water, was Jang Wonyoung.

Gaeul joined her in silence. It took one glance at her puffy and reddened eyes to understand what was going on. Gaeul was halfway between a migraine and a heart attack, so she tempered herself as she simply sat next to Wonyoung.

She did, however, inch her hand in her direction. Offering it. Humbly.

Instead, Wonyoung willingly decided to break the silence herself. “So you’re leaving. You’re leaving us again. You’re leaving me. Again.”

Gaeul pinched her thigh hard enough to draw tears from her eyes. “Yeah … yeah, I am. College. College stuff. Can’t stay for long, really. Each day I’m here is … another day I’m not getting paid. Student loans don’t pay themselves, you know?”

“You didn’t have to.”

“What?”

“You didn’t have to move away,” Wonyoung stressed, looking Gaeul in the eyes now. “You didn’t have to leave, unnie. Was it because … was it because of what I said last time?”

Suddenly, Gaeul was taken back to that fated day. The day after she was threatened by the principal—at the behest of some parents—to be expelled.

===

“You should … you should stay away from me from now on … They won’t stop as long as I’m still next to you—.”

“Screw them.”

The words came out faint, but it was enough to snap Gaeul out of her downward spiral for even just a moment. “Honestly, screw them all, unnie. You didn’t … you didn’t do anything wrong. You were just defending me—.”

“Claiming you, Wonyoung. I was … I was claiming you,” Gaeul corrected, feeling her lips trembling through her sorrow. “That’s what they think, at least. That’s what they see. You’re … you’re a lot bigger than you think now, you know that …? You’ve … found yourself through this entire mess and I … What do I have? What do I have other than … other than being your friend?”

“Isn’t that enough for now?” Wonyoung cooed, holding tightly to Gaeul’s digits. “Why? Why do you have to be anything more than that to them—?”

“You … you wouldn’t understand.”

Gaeul wasn’t sure if she was more infuriated by Wonyoung reducing her to just her ‘sidekick’ or ‘bodyguard’ or by Wonyoung labelling her as ‘just a friend’. She wasn’t even sure why she was angry. What was wrong about what she had said?

What was wrong with being just friends with Wonyoung?

Shaking her head, Gaeul released herself from Wonyoung and pushed her away. “Forget it. I can’t … I can’t just live under your shadow. I need to figure out what I want to do, what I need … who I am … outside of this … outside of you.”

“You know who you are.”

Wonyoung knelt next to her and held her by the shoulders. “You’re the Gaeul who’s up at night finishing books more times than she’s ever gone to the mall in a year. You’re the Gaeul who sleeps in every first period class but for some reason manages to stay in school after hours just to watch me practice. You’re the Gaeul who … who takes a smoke whenever she thinks I’m not looking … who wears jackets even when it’s a million degrees outside … who … who sees what people really are at their core … without … without even trying …”

“Isn’t that enough for you …?”

Gaeul didn’t want to, but she couldn’t help herself. She took one look into Wonyoung’s eyes, hoping to see her own reflection, but what stared back at her was only Wonyoung.

Just Jang Wonyoung.

“It’s not. I’m sorry, but it’s … it’s not.”

“Then leave.”

Gaeul couldn’t believe her ears. But Wonyoung continued. “That’s what you wanted to do, right? You wanted to apply to another university? That’s why you weren’t replying to my chats about early decisions. That’s why you never told me what course you wanted to take. That’s why you … why you didn’t bother studying for the SATs.”

“That’s … I-I-I—!”

“Save it. If you’re so keen on leaving … on leaving all of it behind, then fine. Don’t let me get in your way. Don’t … don’t let me hold you back. Leave. Make it quick. Because I don’t want to see you again.”

If there was anything Gaeul had ever been sure of over the past few years, it wasn’t her identity, nor her sexuality, nor her plans for the future—it was this. In this very moment, she knew precisely what she had to do.

She pursed her lip, grabbed her jacket that was draped across Wonyoung’s body, and stood up. Without wasting a breath, Gaeul bolted out of the room and left, burying her face into her jacket to hide the tears that fell with each step. She didn’t stop to turn around or look back—Gaeul just let the muffled cries from the other side of the door disappear slowly as she ran farther and farther.

As she ran away from home.

===

Blinking rapidly, Gaeul took a moment to recollect herself. She didn’t think memories could be this vivid, but there was something about returning home that made everything hit a little harder than it should. Gaeul didn’t know where to begin unpacking that old wound Wonyoung opened up, but she started with, “No it’s … it’s not that—.”

“I hated myself, you know?”

Wonyoung shook her head as her gaze lowered to the distance between them along the side of the pool. “I hated myself everyday since you left. I thought I was selfish. I thought you misunderstood me. I-I … I thought I’d have to live as a broken memory in the back of your mind. You never messaged. Never called. Never sent any letters or cards or gifts. And I was just … I was just here … trying to search for what you couldn’t find back at home.” She paused to gesture to herself as a soft defeated chuckle escaped her lips. “And look where that got me.”

Silence.

“Did you ever think of me?” Gaeul dared to ask, hugging her knees.

Wonyoung scoffed at such a question, shaking her head all the more. “No. Why the hell would I? You … you walked out on me. Moving on should have been easy.”

“Should have been? So you …?”

Wonyoung choked on her words, but she forced them all out of her system—syllable after syllable. “Yeah … Yeah, every single day. I thought … about your face. Your stupid grins whenever you got what you wanted. Your little ear twitches when you got excited. Tried to remember it all. Had to make sure I … I wouldn’t forget you, I mean—I didn’t know when I would see you next. If I would ever see you again … I thought about your smell—fresh laundry every time. I sometimes went over to your house just to … just to reminisce … Your mother let me, and she kept me well fed. But I … I also thought about that stupid. Smoke. Air. The one you had all around you … god—you’re the reason why I started smoking, just to … Yeah, I … I still wished you would come back. For good. Not … not like this …”

As Gaeul sighed, the weight of two years being lifted off her chest upon hearing Wonyoung spill her guts out for her, she nodded in acknowledgment. “I’m … I’m here.”

“For now, yeah. Can’t say the same in a few days, unnie. In a few weeks even. Or … at all …”

This was it, Gaeul thought. This was the moment Viktor Frankl was talking about.

Gaeul was a mess, and so was Wonyoung. The impact of what she was about to say would certainly alter the way their relationship—or at least, what was left of it—would work. Gaeul didn’t want to confuse Wonyoung more than she already was. She didn’t want to hurt her with mixed signals any further since Gaeul was leaving anyway. Gaeul didn’t want to leave the wrong impression on the younger girl.

She felt strongly for Wonyoung—she could never live that down. But to Gaeul, Wonyoung’s happiness was more important. So even if she had to see her smile and laugh and cry and one day walk down the aisle with someone like Sunghoon—or another man altogether—Gaeul told herself she would try to be happy for her.

Gaeul just wanted Wonyoung to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her.

And so when the right words finally came to mind, then settled on her lips, and then was given life by her shaky voice, Gaeul whispered, “Would it … would it be selfish of me if I said that I … I thought of you the same way?”

Wonyoung’s chuckle came out just as faint. “Less selfish, more surprising. But sure, humor me.”

“I left and took up an easy degree—at least … I thought it was easy. Psychology. I … I wanted to figure myself out more. Wanted to … get my shit sorted out before coming back. And every night, when I was buried in my notes, pages-deep in academic journals, swamped with projects and papers, all … all I could think about was you.”

“You were like … you were like this itch I couldn’t scratch. The air I couldn’t breathe. Wonyoung, you were … you were the part of me that I could never … that I could never accept … Even when I tried flirting with other people, even after hooking up with stranger after stranger, even while I was still in relationships with other … other um … other girls … all I thought about … all I wanted … was you.”

Gaeul bit her lip as she finally said the words she had been thinking of all week. “Just you, Wonyoung.”

Wonyoung was taken aback. Like she experienced consecutive bouts of whiplash. Like she had been shellshocked. It was her turn to be at a loss for words as she clawed against the side of the pool in search for them. “U-Unnie … I-I-I … you … that means you … you’re …”

“Gay?” Gaeul finished her sentence, smiling with the confidence of someone who had found herself at last. “Yeah … yeah very unapologetically gay … And I … fuck, I like you. A lot. Ever since we were kids. Ever since we were … just friends.”

“Un—Gaeul … Gaeul, I …”

They inched closer and closer now, and within mere moments, it wasn’t just thousands of miles of distance that they were trying to bridge. Now, they were bridging the gap between each other’s emotions. As Wonyoung fixated on Gaeul’s watering eyes and as Gaeul caressed the inside of Wonyoung’s thigh, what words could not hope to ever measure, their lips attempted to communicate against each other.

That was, at least, until Gaeul felt something grip her hair and yank her backwards.

The daylights within Gaeul began to blink on and off. She was taken by sudden intermittent bursts of darkness.

Her head was throbbing, spinning around and around. She reached out for the impact point against her head and felt blood trickling down her temple, cheeks, and lips. She winced as she touched tender flesh against her forehead—she had a cut.

Gaeul tried to get up again but moving meant flares of pain against her back. She tried to listen to what was going on—to the argument that thundered overhead.

Something about hunches. Something about being suspicious of friends. Something about betrayal. Something about another woman. Something about disbelief. Something about how Wonyoung never felt like she was never really present in their relationship.

Wonyoung. Wonyoung … Wonyoung …?

Wonyoung.

Sunghoon gripped her shoulders with every intent to make her scream in pain. “I … have had enough with you, Wonyoung … I’ve wasted so much fucking time on you just to … just to—GOD—you just ruined everything!”

“I-I-I’m sorry … S-So sorry Hoonie, I promise—I-I-I won’t—.”

“Just keep your mouth shut, ok?” he interjected, growling past his own hangover. “You’ve done enough already. God … I should have seen this coming—I should have seen this fucking coming. The moment she came back … the moment she showed up, you … we …”

He let out a soft chuckle as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I made a mistake. I should have just gone out with—.”

Wonyoung watched as Sunghoon disappeared from a firm jab to the face.

It all happened so fast.

SMACK.

“Unnie! I have sooo much homework in my bag. Can you carry it for me please? Can you do it for me too? Hahaha!”

SMACK.

“Unnie? Did they … pick on you again? Aiya, you don’t need to … didn’t need to get into fights because of me …”

SMACK.

“Ya! Hahaha, where are you taking me—I can’t see a thing! Oh … oh? Is this … OH MY GOD IS THIS THAT CUTE SQUIRREL PLUSHIE FROM THE FAIR?”

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.

“Unnie, how do I look? Do you think … do you think my prom date will like it?”

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.

“Didn’t eat yet? Glad I made you some breakfast then. My parents aren’t coming back until tonight so … want to drive our car, unnie?”

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.

“I … I’m fine … I just … I just wished you picked up the phone, unnie … Wish you … wish you were here …”

I’m here now Wonyoung.

As Gaeul kept beating in Sunghoon’s face with her balled fist, Gaeul saw her entire life flash before her eyes. She thought of the moments they laughed together, the moments they cried to one another, the moments they spent alone, and the moments they had yet to spend together.

With each pound and punch and jab, through her own curtain of tears, all Gaeul could think of was her.

Jang Wonyoung.

“Gaeul-unnie~”

“Gaeul-unnie!”

“Ya, Gaeul ah …”

“Gaeul … stop … Gaeul, please …”

When Gaeul came to her senses at last, exiting her blind state of fury, she glanced down at her aching knuckles covered in Sunghoon’s flesh and blood, at the teeth that rolled off to the side, at the whimpering and whining mess that was Wonyoung’s ex-boyfriend. The moment she came back to reality, Gaeul allowed Wonyoung to lift her up and drag her out of their backyard—towards their front porch.

Wonyoung sobbed miserably while holding Gaeul’s listless face, clutching her like she had never done so before—like it was a long time coming. Gaeul just stood there feeling numb, feeling the headache from her hangover pinging her mind, feeling Wonyoung’s warm palms try to soothe her as she was still in utter disbelief over what had happened.

And then, Wonyoung had her Viktor Frankl moment—she went in for the kiss.

They had kissed before. Several, many times. They kissed hello. They kissed goodbye. They kissed on the forehead. On the cheek. On the shoulders. On the neck. On each other’s arms. On each other’s lips.

But for Gaeul, this was a kiss unlike any other. It wasn’t a quick one. It lasted for more than a minute or two at least. It wasn’t light. It felt heavy against her own lips. It didn’t smell of nicotine, of a half-eaten bowl of dormitory noodles, or of hardbound books.

It smelled of bubblegum and cherries.

As they continued to make out, eyes closed, feeling one another, tasting one another for the first time as something more than just friends, Gaeul realized how different this was. This kiss wasn’t a claiming one—no. It was a comforting one.

And suddenly, Gaeul understood what she came home for.

When they pulled away, which neither of them wanted to do but had to, Wonyoung immediately buried her face in the crook of Gaeul’s neck and squeezed her tightly. Gaeul could only pat the younger girl to comfort her.

“I guess … I guess I did it, didn’t I? I … I just tore everything down …”

“No … you can still fix things,” Gaeul replied, holding her close. “Just tell Sunghoon we were both drunk … and you made a mistake and—.”

“But that’s the thing—I don’t want to apologize for any of this.”

Silence fell upon them as Gaeul realized what this meant. While she replayed Wonyoung’s words in her head, she slowly began to feel the life flowing back into her veins, sobering her up.

“At the party last night?” Wonyoung raised, meeting Gaeul’s gaze again as she stood properly. “The moment I saw your face … heard your name … I knew it was now or never. I … I had to …”

Gaeul just chuckled and nuzzled into Wonyoung again. “Had to get with me? That’s pretty daring considering you were still in a relationship, Princess.”

Wonyoung melted into her unnie’s arms with a smile and punched her shoulder. “Shut up … don’t … don’t make this awkward.”

Gaeul bent to the side to kiss her on the lips again, shaking her head. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

“You … you should go. Leave … leave Sunghoon to me,” Wonyoung warned, glancing over her shoulder to see if there were any motions stirring from her backyard. “I can handle it. And um, before you leave—before your flight? Tell me, ok? I’ll … I’ll take you to the airport. Hope your family doesn’t mind.”

But Gaeul shook her head. “No need.”

“But—.”

“No need, Princess. Whatever this is … whatever this will be … let’s figure it out. I’ll … I’ll see you tomorrow.”

They held onto each other tightly, not wanting to let the other go again, only separating and parting fully because that’s the role they had to play.

For now, at least.

And so, clutching the handlebars with a grip that pulsed with each shaky breath of hers, Kim Gaeul forced herself to pedal away from it all. Denim jacket still wrapped around her petite frame, chin-length hair caressing her face as if to soothe her, blood trickling down the open wound from her temple mixing with her tears, Gaeul struggled to look ahead.

Because she so desperately wanted to look back and return to her.

Her bicycle zigzagged along the heated asphalt road that seemed to stretch into infinity. It was almost as if it didn’t want to leave—it was almost as if she didn’t want to leave.

But she had to. Just for now.

Gaeul thought back to the past few days, thought about everything that happened up to this point, and when she remembered the reason why her knuckles were bruised and why her forearm had patches of skin peeled off, she broke further into tears.

This was the day she lost a friend.

This was the day she lost her best friend, Jang Wonyoung.

Gaeul let out a manic laugh as she considered the possibility of what might happen next. They were no longer just friends. Were they dating? Were they girlfriends? Well, whatever it was, surely they were something more now.

As she pedaled, her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was her mother. She didn’t hesitate to pick it up this time. “Eomma? Hello?”

“Where the hell are you! Are you safe? You didn’t call us at all last night and you didn’t come home!”

Gaeul smiled. She deserved that. “I’m fine, eomma. I’m on my way home.”

“You had better be, young lady, or you are going to get another earful from me!”

“Of course, I will,” she dismissed. “And, um, eomma? Can you … can you tell my brother to go sleep in his room again? I think … I think I’m going to be staying home for a while longer.”

When her mother asked why, Gaeul simply looked to the parting clouds overhead while pedaling even faster and smiled. “Nothing, just missed this feeling.”

“Just missed being home.”

=====

=====

One light. Two lights. Four lights. Eight lights. 

What once was darkness now turned into a rapidly growing multitude of bright flashing lights. The dotted horizon sparkled to life as an ocean of stars formed in the horizon.

“Wow … beautiful …”

Flapping her lithe limbs about, Wonyoung tried to swim towards one of the glowing orbs, trying to discover what rested at the center of its halation. Her immediate vicinity felt like nothing, but the movements she had to make in order to budge even just an inch resembled swimming. So as she swam towards the nearest light, she clenched her core tightly just to move three meters forward.

“I need to work on that more,” she noted to herself, lifting her hands up beneath the light. At its core, it appeared as though the figure was less like an orb and more like a jagged chip or tooth—much like a shard.

A shard of light.

“Wait … is this … is this another life …? Is this my next life now that I’ve … now that I’m … dead …?”

Before she could ponder on the existential thought any further, the light from the shard pulsed. It flickered out for a few moments before coming back brighter than before. It repeated this pattern until its pace matched that of a beating heart.

“No no no, wait—wait!” Wonyoung pleaded as the light now turned a dark red. “I-I’m not ready for this! My friends! My family—th-they … they don’t even know yet! I’m not ready to leave all of this behind. I-I still have so much to do! Please! Please …”

But Wonyoung was indeed clever. She hadn’t set herself up for failure. She knew that these were powers beyond even her control.

So as the shard bursted into a beam of red, all she could do was allow the unknown to take over.

Piercing. Imposing. Merciless.

=====

She thinks she’s so pretty and presentable—ugh, I hate girls like her! She’s not put together or perfect at all—she’s flawed to her core!

Who … who said that? Hey, that’s … that’s uncalled for … I already knew that …

I already knew that all my life …

“There’s our beautiful baby girl! Look at you! So cute and pretty dressed up for your birthday~!”

As Wonyoung’s mother picked her up, she began sucking on her pacifier a little slower, feeling relaxed in her mother’s embrace. But this sensation of comfort was immediately replaced with betrayal as her mother brought her into the large function room filled with her relatives and extended family members.

Wonyoung sucked vigorously on her pacifier as she clung her little baby arms around her mother’s neck tightly.

“Look, sweetheart! Everyone came to celebrate your birthday! You remember eomma’s siblings, right? And their partners? And their little kids—just like you! Say hello now.”

Her mother swung her around so that she was now facing the crowd of family members she couldn’t even recognize yet, expecting her young daughter to react or reply appropriately. But all Wonyoung did was stare at them in confusion with a pair of teary eyes.

“Ya, that’s no way to treat our guests. They came all this way to see you!” her mother cooed, patting her back gently as if trying to convince her to react in any way possible. After a few moments of waiting, her mother sighed and apologized to their relatives before bringing her across the large room. They passed by a couple of tables filled with an assortment of kids of all ages along with their parents and siblings. Everyone came—her classmates, her friends, and their families too.

“Yeobo, we need to start soon. We only have the place for three hours, and we haven’t even started any of the games,” her father raised, taking Wonyoung into his hands and lifting her up into the air. He smiled at her and pressed his face into her stomach before pecking her nose. “I hope you enjoy yourself today, little Wonyoung. This will be the first of many birthdays for you.”

“Appa! Can I carry my sister? Please please please?” her older sister begged, jumping up and down by his side in an attempt to reach for her. “I promise I won’t drop her—I really promise! I want to show her around to my friends too.”

Quite hesitantly, their father nodded and gently handed his baby to their oldest daughter, making sure the latter knew how to hold onto Wonyoung properly. “There we go. Don’t run around with her. Don’t put her anywhere high. And watch out what she grabs onto. Ok, Jinyoung?”

“Yes, appa! I love you! Bye~!”

And with that, she immediately broke the rules and completely ignored her father’s reminders as she darted off with the baby in hand, carrying her like a football all the way to the table with her best friends.

She plopped Wonyoung down on the surface like a doll and turned her around to show her friends. “This is my sister! I told you she’s super cute, right? Look at those cheeks~!”

Every child, at some point, has some sort of awakening. They have that moment in time, a specific instance in their lives as they mature into a toddler, when they get ‘opened’ to the world—when they gain awareness.

As Jinyoung demonstrated how squishy Wonyoung’s cheeks were, the little baby was having her moment right now—except it was infinitely worse. As her mind slowly grew conscious, so did the latent power within her.

A power only she had.

Such a cute baby! I want to take her home and dress her up! Would Jinyoung let me?

She’s not that adorable honestly. She looks like an ugly bear. Or maybe a dog.

Jinyoung’s making her sit a little too close to the edge … Wonyoung might fall—oh no!

“Goo?” Wonyoung cooed as she heard all of those voices. She knew what speaking was—she’s seen her family do it. But as she heard those voices all at once, she was conscious enough to notice that none of them were moving their mouths.

None of them were actually speaking.

Give me the baby! I want to squish it so badly please!

I wonder if we could feed her marshmallows. How many can she eat before vomiting?

Let’s maybe talk to Jinyoung and have her hold her sister properly …

It was too much. The voices were too loud now. Poor little overwhelmed Wonyoung began crying as she spat out her pacifier.

“Oh no, oh no!” Jinyoung yelled, patting her sister’s head to soothe her. “Um … Wonyoung ah, please don’t cry! It’s your birthday. You’re going to worry everyone!”

Appa is going to kill me! Please be quiet, please be quiet, please be quiet!

“What’s the matter, sweetheart, why is Wonyoung crying?” her father asked as he quickly shuffled over to their table. He picked up Wonyoung and caressed her back, bouncing her up and down. “What happened, Jinyoung? Did you do something to her?”

I knew I shouldn’t have let her carry Wonyoung. She’s not irresponsible, but she’s just too hotblooded.

“Ya! Yeobo, bring our baby girl over here! Come come~! Let’s all sing happy birthday for her!” her mother beckoned into the microphone.

And as the crowd began singing happy birthday around Wonyoung, all the poor little baby could do was stare at the audience around her in fear. She could hear their voices singing. She could hear them trying to extend their gratitude and congratulations. But she could also hear how loud their collective thoughts were.

Where’s the food? God damnit—I’m starving over here!

—forgot to e-mail the boss … forgot to update the calendar … I am so dead … SO DEAD …

I wonder where cousin Minjoo went? Bit suspicious that she—

And for someone as young and fragile as her, all she could do was scream.

She screamed and screamed and screamed. 

She didn’t even bother crying—Wonyoung simply screamed until her voice grew hoarse, widening her toothless mouth as she flailed about, slapping herself in the face and on the head. Her parents grew immediately concerned over her sudden meltdown, trying to stop her from hurting herself. The entire crowd grew silent and had long ceased their singing, but she could still hear their thoughts echoing in her head so noisily.

“Waa waa? Waa waa! WAA WAA!”

That was all poor Wonyoung could do as her mind and her consciousness opened up wider to the entire room. All she could do was cry and beg and plead for something—anything—to help her.

All she could do was cry.

Shatter.

Growing up with this ‘oddity’ of hers made life very difficult for Jang Wonyoung.

Her parents had her checked out by several doctors and medical professionals following the event to try and figure out what was wrong with her—what was going on. Most of them didn’t understand what was wrong. After all, babies cry. They have meltdowns. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But her family knew that deep down, there was something there.

She didn’t have an abnormal childhood—not in the slightest. She was able to grow, learn, and live like any normal child would.

Except for the headaches, that is.

“It’s the characters we keep seeing on TV, appa!Look look!” Jinyoung exclaimed as she pointed at the movie screen. “I wonder if it will be like the show. Or if it’s different?”

“Settle down, sweetheart. Be like Wonyoung, she’s just seated quietly on her chair,” her father calmly requested, holding each of their hands in his. “Wonyoung, this is a movie. Movie. We’re in a theater. Movie house. Is it too dark? It’s about to start so it might get bright all of a sudden.”

Wonyoung squinted her eyes in an instant. It wasn’t because of the sudden flashing light from the large screen before them, but rather, from the buzzing all around her. Since they were located at the dead center of the cinema, she could hear the buzzing of the random thoughts every member of the audience right now was having.

—so excited, so excited, so excited! Now now now now now—!

—popcorn? What flavor? God, I don’t even have enough—

—I DON’T WANT TO STAY ANYMORE I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO SO DARK SO—

Placing a hand to her temple, Wonyoung began massaging it like how the doctors told her to. When her father noticed her removing her hand from his, she sighed and kissed her on the crown of her head. “Another headache, Wonyoung? Is it because of the lights?”

“I-I … I don’t know, appa, but it’s really hurting …” Wonyoung muttered. She felt bad. She didn’t want to be the reason why they’d leave. She knew her father already paid for both the tickets and their popcorn. The least she could do was tough it out and show her gratitude by staying. “I think I’ll be fine … thank you.”

Sighing, he pursed his lips and kissed her again. “Tell me when it gets too tough, sweetheart.”

It immediately grew tougher for her as the movie began properly playing, but Wonyoung insisted on being resilient. Even as tears rolled down her face, she struggled to put on a smile as she forced herself to watch the movie.

That’s what they called it: ‘headaches’. But to Wonyoung, it was much more than that.

Alas, they could never know. They could never understand.

Shatter.

School was difficult for Wonyoung.

The moment she stepped through the entrance, she could already hear it. It was a hundred times worse. Who would have thought that young children would have so many rambling thoughts inside their naive minds? It was too much for her on the first day, but she had to tough it out so that she could pay attention to the orientation and tell her parents about it.

It calmed down as soon as she stepped into the classroom. There were less kids. There were less minds. But everyone soon noticed how she constantly tilted her head to one side from the pain. Some classmates asked her if anything was wrong, but Wonyoung was too weakened to even respond, managing nothing but a shake of her head.

By the time their teacher began explaining things, she could barely keep up with what she was saying. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack for her—figuring out how to listen to just her teacher’s voice and not the other voices in her head. But even then, her teacher had her own thoughts too, which made it considerably more challenging.

Even the breaks brought little respite for her. Where else could she go to calm her mind? The canteen was chock full of people. The playground was noisy enough already without even needing to hear any thoughts. The classrooms were all locked during the breaks, and they only allowed the bigger kids to enter the library.

School was indeed very difficult for Wonyoung. After her first day, she didn’t want to go back. But her parents convinced her. They coaxed her into going back day after day, saying it was necessary, telling her they would love her all the more if she went. That it couldn’t be that bad. That it was fun. So she licked her wounds and toughed it out for them.

Every. Single. Day.

Shatter.

“Ugh, it’s headache girl. Don’t get near her. She might spread her headaches like the cooties!”

Wonyoung glanced away as she held her lunchbox, strolling past some kids her age who were passing by. She tried to pay them no mind, but their thoughts got to her first.

—looks lost. I wonder if she has any friends. That’s sad—

—clinic, maybe she should stay there the whole day, yeah—!

—so hungry I could eat Hyunjin. Hehe, I could eat everyone here—

Shuddering, Wonyoung pressed her lunchbox against the side of her face and quickened her pace, heading to her usual spot on the playground near the bushes and trees, where most kids didn’t dare go out of fear of a ‘large snake’ that lived there.

Once she found a moment of peace and quiet alone, she sobbed a little bit. “I should just eat …”

Apart from performing poorly in classes because she couldn’t concentrate, Wonyoung didn’t have any friends. Just approaching any one person was already a headache and a half for her. It didn’t help that everyone labelled her as the weird kid because of her headaches too. They sort of just left her alone, and she was both thankful for it and saddened by it.

But that all changed when a ball came rolling her way.

“Hey~! Hey! You! Can you pass the ball back to us please?”

One of the boys her age was calling out to her from beneath the monkey bars, waving at her, pointing to the soccer ball that was a meter away from Wonyoung. “Kick it or throw it—any way you want!”

As Wonyoung approached it and picked it up, she spotted another boy approaching the first. “What are you doing? Stay away from her—that’s the headache girl!”

Headache girl? She’s a girl? I thought she was a boy because of her short hair. She’s kind of cute though … if she smiled I bet …

Biting her lip, Wonyoung did what she believed was the impossible.

Instead of tossing the ball his way, she held it in her hands, leaving her lunch box behind for a moment, and approached him. She brought the ball all the way to him. The closer she got, the louder and more prominent all the voices became, but she didn’t mind. In that moment, she just wanted to try something out.

“H-Here you go ..” she muttered, unable to really look him in the eye. But as she took a deep breath, she raised up her chin and managed to smile at him. “Your ball. Here you go.”

His eyes widened as he blushed a bit, freezing before remembering to receive the ball. “R-right, right! Thank you, um …”

“Wonyoung …”

“Wonyoung! Wonyoung. Thank you,” the boy said before rubbing his nape and bowing politely at her, dropping the ball and kicking it towards his friends.

Super cute … I might have a crush on her if she looked a bit differently …

Wonyoung smiled as she turned back around.

Shatter.

“Wow, did you see? Headache girl really grew out her hair!” one of her classmates called out as she pointed to Wonyoung. “See? She looks so different now compared to before the break.”

“She looks cute now,” one of the boys said, jabbing his friend in the elbow. “Should I talk to her? Doesn’t look like she’s talking to anyone right now.”

Pursing her lips, Wonyoung giggled behind her arm. She enjoyed the attention. Until she heard one of her seatmates’ thoughts.

—long hair so pull-able, I could yank them right off if she talks—

Wonyoung glanced at the tips of her hair and nodded.

Shatter.

“C-Could I join you?”

Wonyoung approached the group of boys in her class who were gathered together. “Hi … what are you all talking about …?”

One of the boys was someone she recognized—the boy she returned the ball to. He was the first to notice her. “Wonyoung! Um … hi … I uh … we were just—.”

“Don’t tell her! That’s a secret!” someone interrupted, glaring at her afterwards. “Go away, headache girl!”

—can’t know we were talking about other girls—

—looks even cuter with her new hair—

—too girly! Always wearing pink—

Bowing in apology, she turned around and hurried away, muttering things to herself.

Shatter.

“Look at that red dress of hers and that yellow bow on her head… did she change all of a sudden?”

“Eh, is it a big deal? She’s just hungry for attention.”

—so tacky, I’d be embarrassed to wear that all the time—

—get different clothes—

Shatter.

“Woah! Looking good, headache girl! You can join us now—you’re totally one of the boys.”

“Is she though? Does she even know about the games we play? She doesn’t even own a DS!”

—would never play this fighting game, all they like are pets and cute—

—bought mine at the mall at a discounted price last week—

Shatter.

“For real? You’re so good at this! We didn’t know!”

“You even have the puppy care game, so cute~! Headache girl’s got it all!”

“Stop calling her that—her name is Wonyoung, idiot!”

“Can I borrow your DS please Wonyoung? Maybe I can borrow it at tomorrow’s sleepover, and I can lend you my PSP?”

Wonyoung couldn’t help but smile as she finally managed to get in with some of the kids. As they began talking to her and over her, hearing their each and every individual thought, she pressed her closed handheld to her chest and nodded eagerly.

It worked … it worked!

The clever little girl figured it out—her formula for surviving school. All she had to do was listen in on their thoughts and do what they thought of—what they wanted. And just like that, she was no longer just a girl who got constant headaches.

Just like that, she was finally one of them.

Shatter.

“Wonyoung ah, are you ready for school next week? It’s going to be tougher now that you’re in middle school.”

As her father tried to make small talk at the dinner table, Wonyoung scanned her family members and tried to hear what they were thinking of.

—so big now, she’s almost as tall as me. What the hell—

—little girl is in middle school now! I hope she doesn’t cry—

—worried for her. Will she be ok? As she grows older, it will only get more—

Shaking away those thoughts as she grabbed a mouthful of rice, Wonyoung wiped her lips and smiled at them. “I’ll be ok! I’ve managed elementary just fine, so what’s another three more years? Besides, Jiwon will be with me. We’re going to the same school!”

“Jiwon? Is that your best friend, honey?” her mom asked. “The same Jiwon you keep talking about every day after school?”

She nodded embarrassingly as she stared down at her plate. “Yup! She’s the first friend I really got close to, and we got into the same classes almost every year. If she wasn’t going with me, eomma, I don’t think I would be ready for middle school.”

“Ya, middle school is really different, you know?” her sister added, drinking her iced tea with a blissful sigh. “The teachers don’t hold your hand anymore. If you miss out on copying notes, they won’t go back through the slides. If you’re late to class or submitting homework, there’s no excuse that will work on them either—trust me, I tried. On top of that, your scores start to matter more.”

“My scores?”

Their father nodded as he placed down his fork and spoon. “Jinyoung’s right, Wonyoung. That’s something I wanted to talk about with you and your mother in private. But since it’s been brought up, we might as well discuss this now.”

Wonyoung perked up. Whenever their dad got serious like that, she knew it was a big deal and that she ought to listen. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to navigate her focus towards his thoughts to have a sneak peak of what he was going to say.

—to tell her about her grades. They aren’t the best, but at least it’s not failing—

“Wonyoung, sweetheart, I know starting school was a bit tough for you. And your eomma and I are so glad that you graduated primary school without any problems. We really thought that you were going to quit after the first few months. We were prepared to get some … special help for you … but you really did your best, didn’t you? You tried so hard for us.”

—needs to do better, needs to do well to help with high school applications—

“Your mother and I have seen you and your sister grow, and we’re glad you managed to find your group of people in school. We don’t know who else is going to be with you in middle school next week, but we’re relieved that you have at least one friend that you trust. Keep her close, ok? Maybe she can help you out with a few things.”

—how do I mention it? I don’t want it to sound like I’m mad at her. I just want to look out—

—think about her future, just worried she might be average—

—just want her to be ok and happy, to be—

“Is this about my grades?”

Her father was stunned, and her mother all the more so. Jinyoung was clenching her teeth, bracing herself. She didn’t look like she knew what they were going to talk about, but she acted as though she understood how heavy or rough of a subject this all was.

Before her father could say anything else, Wonyoung placed down her utensils and smiled at him. “Appa, you worry too much about me. I love you all, but please trust me when I say I’m doing my best. It’s not that I can’t manage or … can’t concentrate. I just needed a bit more time to get used to things.”

Managing a confident smile, she looked her father in the eye. “I promise to graduate at the top of my class by the end of middle school, appa. I’ll get into a good high school too afterwards. I’ll do it for you and eomma.”

“Big words, coming from a little girl,” Jinyoung teased with a smirk. “Even I barely got to make it to the top fifty students in my graduating year.”

“I’m not little! We’re almost the same height, unnie!”

Before the two could argue any further, their father cleared his throat and nodded in Wonyoung’s direction. “You … you’re quite something, sweetheart. Always reading the room well. Always knowing what to say. I trust you. So does your eomma. Make us proud, ok?”

A bit nervously, she nodded and accepted the challenge. “I will.”

Just watch me.

Shatter.

“And that’s how we determine the total energy needed for a change in phase. Now, I hope you all remember what the formulas are. They will be necessary for our next lessons as well.”

As their professor finished explaining a series of slides and their diagrams, Wonyoung blinked rapidly as she glanced up from her notebook. She wasn’t able to copy the slides on time. Now, her notes were missing in odd places, which didn’t make sense upon second glance.

Wait, I need to copy the rest of it—the formulas.

She remembered what Jinyoung told her about their teachers, so she didn’t want to embarrass herself. Thinking, she glanced at her seatmate, who had a collection of different colored pens and highlighters.

Maybe I can …

Closing her eyes, Wonyoung took a deep breath. As soon as darkness filled her mind’s eye, she listened to all of the voices.

—so hungry! When is class going to end—

—Areum looks so beautiful … did she always look that way—?

—if I farted, would anyone hear—

It was like finding a needle in a haystack once again. But once Wonyoung turned her head towards her seatmate, like a radar trying to hone in on her voice, she pictured it in her head and tried to search for it.

—pink for the formulas! Ok, let’s reread it—

Opening her eyes once again, she bowed her head in apology even if her seatmate couldn’t see it. Although she could have asked her for her notes, she didn’t want to bother her with what she was doing.

Sorry … but let me have a bit more of a peek …

And as she continued to open her mind up, she began copying notes while her seatmate revised her own lecture scribbles.

Shatter.

“Are you kidding me? Another quiz? These teachers can’t give us a break, can they?” one of their classmates complained over the algebra exam tomorrow.

Crossing her arms, their teacher raised a brow at him. “And that teacher who can’t give you a break is still here, Mr. Yoo. I suggest you spend less time complaining and more time reviewing during my period.

Pressing his hands together in apology, he begged for mercy as the class laughed at him.

Wonyoung was quite worried herself. She didn’t have time to review for this subject. She wasn’t expecting there to be another quiz tomorrow alongside her report for history class. She didn’t think that the requirements would pile up this fast in middle school.

Instead of groaning, she immediately began thinking, and as her teacher called their attention to the board, she clenched her first and glanced embarrassingly at her.

Sorry, teacher … I don’t mean any harm in this but …

Wonyoung tried something different.

She was able to quickly isolate her teacher’s thoughts. On the surface, she was thinking of what she wanted to discuss in class before she could physically say it out loud. But Wonyoung wanted to pry deeper beyond those initial thoughts. Squeezing her palms and digging her fingers into her skin, she tried to steer her focus towards the deeper pits of her teacher’s subconscious.

—rent’s due in a few days, I’ll need to ask for a loan—

—ask Mr. Shin about assisting with midterms—

—unit five and six of the curriculum, with a focus on—

As if she could picture it in her mind, Wonyoung latched onto that thought and yanked it out fully, examining the thought in her mind. As she read through it in her mind’s eye like she was reading an e-mail or a lengthy text message, she smiled to herself as she began jotting down the key things to review for their exam tomorrow.

Got it!

Shatter.

“Jiwon, over here!”

As she called out to her best friend, she got hushed by a few nearby students who thought she was making too much noise. Clenching her teeth and apologizing, her blonde friend couldn’t stop herself from giggling even with a hand on her mouth, sauntering over to her table and setting her stuff down next to Wonyoung’s.

Leaning over for an embrace, the two girls adjusted their glasses before setting their books onto the desk along with their practice notebooks.

“Are you ready for finals? “ Wonyoung asked her, tying her hair up into a ponytail and putting on her jacket. “Can you believe it? We used to have one subject per day for finals, now it’s three!”

“Right?” Jiwon seconded, tying her hair up into a bun herself before sighing and leaning against the desk. “I wish we could just skip right to the break. I’m super excited for our trip! I can’t wait to have you and your family over at our place back in Jeju.”

“Same here! But we need to focus first,” she groaned, pointing at the reviewer that they made together. Both sets were already answered. It was time to revise and find out which concepts they needed to review more. “Afterwards, we can head to my place. My parents said you could sleep over.”

“Yay! Let’s get started then.”

As they worked in silence, respecting each other’s reviewing and studying styles, Wonyoung couldn’t help but feel excited. This was it—finals season. All of her hard work and efforts would be put to the test soon, and she was going to be as ready as she could. Every now and then, she took glances at Jiwon, spotting her concentrate with a problem she was struggling with.

She’s cute. Too sweet for this world. I heard a few boys talking about crushing on her. Jealous~.

Wonyoung didn’t mean to, but she accidentally peered into Jiwon’s head as she studied.

—I can’t get this … why can’t I .. they discussed this already … so stupid—

—need to get a high grade or I might not get on the honor roll … my family will—

—she’s having an easy time, I need to do well, I need to do well too—

“It’s twenty-eight-point-five.”

Jiwon widened her eyes as she lifted her glance from her calculator. “Wh-what? What do you mean?”

Wonyoung smiled and pointed at the problem she was struggling with. “It’s twenty-eight-point-five for final velocity. Final velocity can be found if you add the initial velocity with the product of acceleration and time—since that’s what’s given to us. Then, from there, you should be able to find kinetic energy by halving the product of mass and velocity-squared.”

Biting her lip, Liz smiled in gratitude. “I-I .. that makes a lot of sense now … thanks.”

Wonyoung leaned a bit towards her friend and reached for her hands, holding them in hers gently. “Ease up, ok? I’m sure we’ll be fine. If you need any help, you can always ask me. Don’t be shy.”

Jiwon nodded and glanced at Wonyoung before nodding once more. “Yeah … yeah, ok. I-I … I’ll ask for your help when I need it.”

They both squeezed each other’s hands tightly before continuing their review session.

Shatter.

As Wonyoung exited the gymnasium with her parents’ arms locked around hers, holding not only her diploma but also wearing three of her medals around her neck, she knew that she had made it. She knew she had made them proud. She knew that she had far exceeded her expectations. But beyond that, she realized something else.

This mind-reading of hers—it’s not a curse. It’s a blessing.

She’s figured it out now. She’s learned how to use it. How to master it. And now, she was left with the burning question.

How far could she take it? What was next?

Shatter.

“Alright class! Settle down now, we have a few things to discuss today for your first quiz next Thursday, so make sure you’re all taking notes!”

As the class groaned in unison, taking out their notebooks and pens hesitantly upon hearing the terrible news, Wonyoung promptly placed her highlighters on one side and prepared herself to listen in class.

However, she couldn’t help but notice the young teacher in front of them struggling with her laptop by her desk. It looked like she was trying to find something.

Wonyoung pushed her glasses higher up her nose and tuned out the external noise, navigating her way through the mess of internal voices before making it towards her teacher’s mind.

—sworn I brought it here! Mr. Jung lent it—

—with all the material we’ll need for class—

—leave it by my desk? Or did it fall down—

Opening her eyes, Wonyoung raised her hand an tried to draw her teacher’s attention. When the distraught woman noticed her, she glanced about the classroom before calling her out. “Yes, um, what was your name again, dear?”

“Wonyoung, Ms. Seo, Jang Wonyoung,” she replied, standing up. “May I use the restroom for a bit?”

“O-Oh! Sure, sure, do hurry up as we’ll be um, we’ll be starting soon!” she nervously uttered, allowing Wonyoung to excuse herself. But as Wonyoung passed by her on the way out, she whispered into her teacher’s ear. “Ms. Seo, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask Mr. Jung if he still has an extra copy of the USB if I can’t find it on the floor on the way to the workroom.”

Ms. Seo froze as she turned to face Wonyoung. “How did … you know …?”

Wonyoung blushed and adjusted her glasses to give her teacher a gentle bow. “Just my instincts! Leave it to me, seonsaengnim!”

And with that, she rushed to the workroom to help her teacher out.

Shatter.

Focusing on her calculator and the examination in front of her, Wonyoung grew restless as she tried to solve some of the initial problems. She thought she could handle just doing a quick review the night before the exam, but as it turned out, even the first few supposedly ‘easy’ questions were already proving to be quite the challenge for her.

Perhaps this was what high school was like now. Although she did exceptionally well in middle school, that didn’t mean she would do just as well in high school with the same amount of effort. She made a mental note to do more preparations next time, but as she returned her gaze upon the string of numbers and symbols that seemed to float about on the page, she grew fidgety with the buttons on her calculator as she figured out how to even approach them.

Sighing, she didn’t want to push that button this soon, but she decided to do so anyway.

When Mr. Park wasn’t looking, she took a deep breath and scanned the room. If she remembered correctly, their classmate who was in the Math-letics team—whatever that meant—was seated somewhere in the back row. Sure enough, when she looked behind her, she spotted him already leaning back in his seat rather cockily as he glossed through his papers.

Shoot, he might already be done with the exam.

Closing her eyes shut immediately, Wonyoung shoved aside the empty and lackluster thoughts of her nearby seatmates to find herself at the doorstep of the cocky math whiz’s mind. There, she brushed off the surface thoughts about lunch and after-school training to pry deeper into his mind.

—mother’s going to be so mad if I lose next—

—wonder if she’ll be down to hang out when—

—stomach’s growing, huh? I want to work—

Shaking her head, Wonyoung gripped the edges of her table while her eyes still remained sealed shut. She pushed even deeper, wanting to get to the specific short-term memories he had before it was too late and had already dissipated from his consciousness.

There—like a projector displaying the inserted reel of a movie onto the big screen, Wonyoung was able to navigate through his archive of knowledge and information to display the specific memories she had wanted from him, playing it in her own head as if it was her own thoughts and experiences.

While she viewed them, she kept one eye open. She used her closed eye to view the ‘movie’ within her mind, quickly scribbling and copying his answers with her other opened eye before she lost her grasp on his psyche.

“AHHHH! FUCK MY HEAD HURTS! WHAT THE FUCK?”

As soon as their teacher heard this, he slammed his hand on his desk and pointed at their classmate in question. “Mr. Yoon! Keep quiet! And watch your mouth, will you?”

“S-Sorry teach, my head just … argh … my head just hurt all of a—AHH—sudden!”

Just a bit longer, please. Just a bit longer. 

And once Wonyoung had copied his answers towards the final difficult bonus question, she opened her other eye and let go of his mind, feeling herself eject out of his brain. As soon as she let him go, he stopped groaning about the pain, allowing the classroom to fall fully silent again.

Wonyoung glanced over her shoulder and flashed him an awkward smile he would never see. “So sorry about that …!”

Shatter.

“I pick … Dari! Come join our team!”

As Dari joined the more athletic team of girls on the other side of the court, Wonyoung glanced at their PE teacher in search of what to do. Their muscular instructor shrugged and pointed to the opposite team. “I guess that means you’re with them, Wonyoung. Go join the blue team.”

She could hear her other classmates sigh without even prying into their minds, disappointed over the outcome of their matchmaking. Their team captain was the only one who received her somewhat warmly as she patted Wonyoung on the back. “Don’t worry. I used to be the last pick back in middle school too. Just … try to put up more of a fight, will you? That goes for all of you girls too.”

The other girls were too deflated to even respond.

Rubbing her nape, their captain urged them all to step onto the center of the court and get themselves ready. But deep down, each of them knew they stood no chance. From the looks on their faces, Wonyoung could tell they were willing to concede as soon as the match started, not wanting to get hit by more balls than necessary.

“On your marks! Red team with the balls! And~! Go!”

When their teacher blew the whistle, Wonyoung closed her eyes and listened.

—Boram’s foot—

—get Jiyeon’s stomach—

—haha! It will be easy aiming for Wonyoung’s face—

She opened her eyes and fell onto her stomach, slamming hard on the ground.

Had she not done that, she would have been hit right in the face by a powerful throw from a volleyball varsity member’s ball.

Rolling onto her back, she sat up and saw another girl aiming for her. She read her mind in time and spread her legs to catch the ball just in time. Wonyoung lifted the ball up and called onto one of her eliminated teammates to get back onto the field, but unfortunately, she struck out immediately as she got pelted by three different balls.

—she’s distracted!—

Using the ball she held up, Wonyoung lowered it to her side and deflected the incoming ball before dashing forward and ducking out of the way to block two hurled balls from different directions. Before she knew it, after dancing around the court with brief and calculated motions, she soon was the only member of her team left while her teammates cheered her on the sidelines.

“Go Wonyoung! You can do it!”

“Who would have thought that that nerd would actually be good at this?”

—aim at her all at once—

—use everything and hit—

—go for her head! Her head—

Taking a deep breath, as soon as Wonyoung opened her eyes, she had nowhere to go. No amount of anticipation could prepare her from a volley of balls coming at her from both sides.

All she did was squat at the last minute.

And with a flurry of several loud thuds, the balls all hit each other before landing one after the other on top of her—some hit her head while others cascaded onto her back and her neck.

As the entire class laughed at her poor state, their teacher blew his whistle and raised his hand in the air. “Blue team wins with one survivor!”

Her teammates rushed to her side and immediately lifted her up into the air in celebration.

Shatter.

—believe this? They’re allowing a freshman to run—

—what’s she going to do anyway? She doesn’t even know—

—probably for her resume or college apps, what a user—

As Wonyoung stepped up towards the podium at the center of the makeshift stage, she glanced about her to see the crowd of students. It was time for her speech for the student council elections. Although she was just running for the position of treasurer, she already had quite the tough competition—most of whom were in the year levels higher than her.

Biting her lip, Wonyoung took a deep breath. She raised up her script, and in front of everyone, tore it to shreds before letting the pieces fall down gently like confetti on the ground.

Slamming her palms onto the podium, she gestured towards herself. “My name is Jang Wonyoung. I know many of you might not know me, but for the ones who do, they know what kind of person I am. I’m someone who really pushes for what she wants and makes sure she’s able to deliver on it. Every time. All the time.”

—what a boastful brat. Bet she—

—get to the point! I want to go home—

—gonna lose lol, who would vote for an uptight—

“I know. I get it,” she remarked, raising her hands out to her side. “I’m younger than most other candidates, and I’m new to our school. I don’t have a track record other than my academics—I don’t really have any clubs yet, and I’ve never participated much in school events so far. But what I can tell you is this.”

“I know what the students want. And I want to give it to you.”

The crowd grew restless as the sea of students began murmuring and whispering to one another.

—know what we want? Now that I think about it, the last treasure was uptight—

—need more toilet paper, that’s what we need. And probably more nurses in the—

—so much though! Bring back field trips, or like maybe have cross-events with other schools—

Tapping the microphone to create some feedback, Wonyoung cleared her throat. “If I may? I know what you want, and I want to be that voice within the council. I’ll give proper allocations and funds for any proposals you might feel the need to raise with us. If you have a cause you want to fight for, an event you want to plan, or even just a quality of life improvement you want to have here at school, I’ll make sure you’re given a fighting chance within the council. Because I want to represent you—all of you.”

She grabbed the microphone and walked away from the podium. “Extra toilet papers in all of the stalls? Maybe a field trip or two again as part of the curriculum? Maybe we can have intramurals within each year level so classes can fight each other for fun, yeah? Maybe even have interactions outside our school so we can meet our neighbor schools and get to know them more?”

—she’s onto something—

—I never thought of that before but I like it—

—young, but not bad, maybe she’ll actually be—

Smiling at the crowd, she tried to look into as much of their eyes as she could before finishing her speech. “I’m not here for the clout. I’m not here for the fame of being in the council. I’m not even here to place this on my resume for college applications. I just want to help you guys—both students and teachers alike. I want the council to be a bridge between the school and its constituents. So please, let me be your voice, and I’ll make sure all of our money—all of your money—will be well spent. Thank you.”

Before she could even bow, she was already received with a wide round of applause.

Shatter.

“Madame Treasurer!”

When she recognized that familiar voice calling out to her, she widened her eyes and fixed her glasses before turning around to run up to the owner of that voice, pulling her in for a quick embrace. “Ya, Jiwon ah! You didn’t have to call me that, you know? It’s … embarrassing. I’m not used to it yet …”

Jiwon pinched Wonyoung’s cheek and chuckled, holding her hand as the two girls walked towards the main entrance, ready to go home. “I know, but it’s so exciting, you know? You’re the treasurer now! On our first year too! It’s like … it’s like you’re so different now! You’ve grown so much, Wonyoung.”

Swatting a hand at her best friend, Wonyoung shook her head. “I hope I’m still the same me. It’s nothing as well—don’t exaggerate. Just because I’m on the council doesn’t mean I’m any different. I just have a bit more responsibilities on my plate now—that’s all.”

“A lot more, I’m guessing,” Liz noted as they turned right once they left the main gate. “Does that mean you’ll be less free? Will we not be able to have anymore movie nights or dates in the future?”

Wonyoung shook her head. “Of course we will! Being on the council doesn’t mean I can’t have fun outside of it, silly.”

As Wonyoung was about to explain what her first few meetings with the council was like, she noticed that Jiwon was no longer replying to her. It was then that she realized that she had stopped herself in her tracks a while back and had left Wonyoung to continue walking without her. “Jiwon?”

“Wonyoung I … I didn’t say anything … How did you … how did you know what I was …?”

Wonyoung remained calm and smiled at her friend. “It’s … probably just a hunch, you know? I mean we’ve been friends for forever now,” she explained, holding up her wrist with the matching bracelets they got for each other. “It’s like we’re sisters. Or soulmates! Right?”

Jiwon nodded slowly and caught up with Wonyoung, and eventually they continued walking home. 

“Since um, we were already on that topic,” Jiwon brought up, pulling on the straps of her backpack nervously. “You’ve been doing really well in school lately, huh … I heard from another friend that you’re the top student in our batch so far. A lot of teachers can’t help mentioning your name too since you help them out a lot. I also heard you did well in P.E. this semester …”

“Well, I … let’s just say I got a little more used to the ‘dodging’ part of things rather than the ‘getting hit by a ball’ part of it,” Wonyoung teased, trying to ease the tension out of their conversation. “I don’t know, Jiwon. High school has just been great for me so far. I’m … I’m actually loving it. I’m not dreading school as much now, you know? It feels … nice. It feels like I belong. Don’t you feel the same way?”

Jiwon glanced away and shrugged. “Wonyoung ah … I don’t know how to tell you this. It just feels like you’re leaving me behind. You’re getting … so far ahead of me already. I know we’ve been friends for forever now, but I can’t help but feel like you’re becoming someone more. Someone bigger. Someone more important than me. And I want to try my best and keep up, but sometimes, it’s just a bit much. Not that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s … all just me, isn’t it? It’s all just my own insecurity … right …?”

Biting her lip, Wonyoung sighed. “Jiwon, I … I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m glad you mentioned it to me at least …” 

Wonyoung was surprised that her friend was even able to say all that without stuttering. She was normally the more reticent one between them. Hearing all this out of the blue really struck a chord with Wonyoung. “I … I can always help you out and stuff, you know? I’m always just here—I’ll always still be here for you, Jiwon, So you don’t need to worry … about … me … leaving …?”

Pure horror struck Wonyoung’s face as Jiwon turned to face her—water bottle in hand, lips wrapped around the tip, water dribbling into her mouth. Pure terror struck Jiwon as well as she stared frightfully right into Wonyoung’s eyes.

The water bottle dropped onto the floor silently as the water spilt completely onto the pavement.

“Wonyoung … Wonyoung I didn’t say anything …”

“J-Jiwon, I-I thought … didn’t you—?”

It sounded so clear. It sounded so real.

Jiwon took a step backwards, crushing the bottle underneath her foot. She took another step, and then another step, and then another one before she finally let out the breath she was holding. “Wonyoung … what is going on … what is … how did you …?”

Wonyoung wrapped her hands tightly around her mouth.

It sounded so real. She sounded so real—Jiwon’s voice. She could have sworn she was speaking to her. She could have sworn Jiwon was telling her all of those things.

Wonyoung didn’t even notice she was peeking into her friend’s mind subconsciously. It sounded nothing like the internal voices she was used to.

What was going on?

“Jiwon, I-I think we’re all just tired right now, haha … I think we should just um, get some rest at home,” Wonyoung insisted, trying to distract her friend away and bring her mind elsewhere. “It’s been a long day, right? Want to get some ice cream on the way home? We can stop by my place before—.”

“Wonyoung, tell me the truth … please …”

With her hands cupping both of her elbows, Jiwon looked straight at Wonyoung and didin’t keep her eyes off of her for even a moment. She pursed her lips and shook her head. “All this time … I had a feeling … that something was off … that something was wrong. You were observant … you were nice and friendly … but you also knew a little too much … a little too well … You always knew what to do … what to say … you always seemed so … so perfect … like you could read our minds …”

Tapping the side of her head, she pointed towards Wonyoung. “Can you …?”

All Wonyoung could do was nod. “Yes … yes I can … Ever since I was a kid, I could … I could read people’s minds. It used to hurt my head a lot at first, but over time, I managed to um … to control it. So I’m not reading it all the time—don’t worry! Just … just whenever I want to—.”

“Whenever you want to?” Jiwon repeated, her voice shaky from disbelief. “Whenever you want to—whenever YOU WANT? Are you for real? Do you just go … just go snooping into our heads whenever you felt like it for fun?”

“Jiwon, that’s not—.”

“How often?”

“What …?” Wonyoung asked meekly, unable to meet Jiwon’s eyes. “What do you mean …?”

“How often did you do it—reading our minds? How … how often did you do it to me? How much did you see o-or like hear or … whatever! How much did you get out of it … how much … do you know …?”

Taking a deep breath, Wonyoung flailed one hand about as she tried to think of the right words to say. “I … um … it’s … it’s a bit complicated. If I don’t actively block them out, I hear everything all at once—everything on the surface. Surface thoughts are the easiest to read. If I want to dig deeper, it needs more effort and focus, especially if I’m trying to read a person’s mind in the middle of a crowd. It’s choppy. Super choppy. Um, unless I pry further—.”

“And make their heads hurt and want to explode,” Jiwon interjected, shaking her head. “That explains why people get random headaches near you. That … this all makes more sense now … I just … I can’t believe it …”

Wonyoung rushed forwards and tried to hold Jiwon’s hands, but the other girl backed up in time to avoid her. Biting her lip, Wonyoung nodded. “O-Ok … ok … Jiwon, I … only ever used it when I needed to, not all the time … I would never … I never used it on you maliciously—o-or on anyone for that matter! I just … I just wanted to help … I wanted to be better … for other people … and by reading them, I can … I can find out what they want from me … what they need from me … a lot faster—.”

“Were we even friends at all, Wonyoung?”

That question threw Wonyoung off-guard in the worst way possible, for in that moment, Wonyoung wasn’t prepared to hear what Jiwon was about to say.

“If you did this … for your own personal gain … then were we even really friends? Best friends …? You didn’t get to know me … you probably didn’t even place the effort to really meet me as I am, you just … you just cheated, Wonyoung … You just … you just probably played me like a fool—like everyone else you sucked up to or tried to impress … It’s not real is it … any of this? Anything that we have …? This is all just … this is all just you playing with yourself at this point … right? Getting people to do what you want them to … getting them to believe what you want them to … knowing all of them before they even talk to you …?”

“Jiwon, I-I … I …”

“Then again, you didn’t need to hear me tell you those things, right, Wonyoung?” she spat out one final time. “You could have just read my mind, couldn’t you? And then fix things? And then what, we’d still be friends?”

“Still be friends … what … are we not friends anymore then …?”

Jiwon shook her head. She took her bracelet off of her wrist and threw it at Wonyoung’s feet. “Friends … friends don’t do that Wonyoung. I-I … I wish I could forgive you, but right now … I’m more afraid of you than anything else. So please … let’s … let’s stop this right here… right now …”

As her friend turned around, Wonyoung picked up the bracelet and called out to her. “Wait, Jiwon—!”

“And don’t call me by my name anymore. Call me what everyone else does.”

“Just call me Liz.”

Wonyoung wasn’t even sure if she was really saying that to her or if that was all in her mind. But as she broke into tears on the sidewalk, watching the back of her once best friend shrinking into the distance, she wiped her eyes and clenched her fists, grunting as she screamed and tried to reach out to her mind.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on!

But there was nothing.

There was nothing inside of Jiwon’s mind. There was nothing to hear, nothing to see, nothing to read. It was empty. It was hollow.

It was completely silent.

Nothing except for the deafening sound of static that now pierced sharply through Wonyoung’s own mind.

As she fell to her hands and knees, squeezing tears out onto the pavement, all Wonyoung could do was lay there for a few moments, feeling the weight of her loss crush her completely.

“I’m sorry … I just … I just did what I had to do …”

“Is that so wrong …?”

Shatter.

“Hi! Would you like to join our club—oomph!”

Pushing past the freshman who was standing by the door to their club room, Wonyoung stepped inside uninvited. She glanced at the students who were just lounging around with their musical instruments as they stared at her with confused looks. “Can we um, help you?”

“Who is this girl? She’s so rude, just barging in.”

“She doesn’t even look musically inclined. I bet she just wants to use our room as a napping spot.”

“Isn’t she the teacher’s pet? Did they send her here to spy on us or something?”

Cracking her knuckles, she sat in front of the piano and lifted up the cover. Without prompting, she began playing a simple melody, letting them hear it for a good while before shifting into a more complicated symphony that had several glissandos.

“Oh, um, I guess you’d like to join?” one of them asked her. 

Before she could even finish the rest of her piece, she slammed the cover down and nodded. “Yes … please … I … I just want to … I just want to be a part of a club.”

The different club members placed down their instruments and began clapping slowly for her, giving her a somewhat warm round of applause. Wonyoung felt relieved. She didn’t know how to approach them. She didn’t know what to even say. She just hoped this would work.

And it seems like it did.

Shatter.

“Did you hear about what Chinsun said this morning? She’s totally got something going with that guy from another school. They’re like, definitely soft launching it on Insta~.”

“Right, right? I saw that too! Minjee also told me that she was seeing someone on the side from that school. I feel bad for her boyfriend, but can you blame her? All the guys there are such hunks—ugh!”

Placing her tray of food down onto the table, Wonyoung smiled at the group of girls in her year whom she hadn’t talked to before, sitting down quietly in the empty seat next to a few of them. They scooted over and gazed at her weirdly as she acted like it was completely normal.

“What is she even doing? Can’t she see we were talking about private things here?”

“Who the fuck is this loser with the glasses? Isn’t she on the council? One of the admin’s pets?”

“Does she think she belongs here? Ugh, I hate feelers like her!”

Biting her lip, she smirked at them and muttered, “Sure would be a shame if Minjee’s boyfriend found out about her side boy, huh? If I were Minjee, I’d just dump him and go out with the hunk myself. Saves more time, you know?”

Wonyoung couldn’t believe she actually said that. It felt so unusual. It felt so foreign for her to be saying things like those. But as she uttered something so audacious to the group, it seemed that their gasping and smiling were reactions that indicated that she had done well to blend in.

“Right? Haha … are you … seeing anyone yourself from that school?”

Wonyoung looked at the girl across her and examined her facial features.

“Does she even know anything about Minjee? Or anyone from that school?”

“I bet she’s talking out of her ass right now, but let’s see where this goes.”

“God, she doesn’t look ugly, but she’s kinda eh~. I don’t want to be seen with her—it would drag my rep down.”

Removing her glasses from her face, Wonyoung blinked twice to adjust her vision without them. Once she was able to somewhat make out the figures in front of her, she glanced once more at the girl across from her and nodded. “Minjee’s my cousin twice removed. I know who she’s seeing—Duho, right? Duho’s friends with … the captain of the football team in their school—Youngsun. He used to be my boyfriend.”

They all gasped and slammed their hands on the table, rattling all their food and trays—all but one of them did. Wonyoung eyed her carefully as she started rubbing her temples in circles, ignoring her for now and making eye contact with the other girls to keep them distracted. “Shut up! Tell us more~!”

Wonyoung smirked and took a sip from her juice.

Shatter.

“I was just about to do that, teach! Haha, I’ll see you next week—.”

The boy’s greeting fell short as Wonyoung bumped into him ‘accidentally’. 

How could he have known? She knew that he’d be having Biology with Mr. Gyo here and that he’d always take his time before leaving for varsity training. She knew that he’d be free today since their coach was sick with the flu and won’t be back until the end of the month. She also knew that he knew next to nothing about her, so this was her chance to do something about that.

Before she could ‘fall’ onto the floor and scatter her things dramatically, the boy grabbed her by the body and held her up in place, making her gasp in surprise at how strong he was. Picking the one ballpen that she dropped, he smiled down at her as he handed it over. “Woah there, easy now. Are you alright? You need to watch where you’re going.”

Wonyoung bit her lip and curled her hair back. “Thanks. Sorry about that. I was in a rush. We have a meeting with the council in a bit.”

As Wonyoung was about to leave without saying thank you, he whistled at her before she could make it too far, calling out to her. “Hey! Not even an introduction or anything?”

Wonyoung blushed a bit as she turned to glance over her shoulder. “Wonyoung. Jang Wonyoung. And you?”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way over to her, leaning against the lockers as he flashed her a dreamy smile. “Seungri. Gan Seungri. I’ve seen you before, have I? Council girl?”

“Then you didn’t need the introduction, did you?” Wonyoung snapped back with a flirty grin.

“Damn, I like this girl. She’s feisty.”

“She’s a little too proud though. I like a girl who’s more dainty and feminine.”

“I wonder if she knows how to do … yet. Would be fun if she did.”

Widening her eyes, Wonyoung chuckled awkwardly and tried to hide her face. “Sorry about that, haha, I-I … I don’t know what I was thinking. I hope you don’t mind if we start over again?”

“That’s cute. Now this I can go for,” Seungri replied. “Can we ‘start over’ this weekend? I’ve got practice, but I can definitely hang out around school afterwards if you come over for extracurriculars.”

Biting her lip, she nodded. “This weekend then. Just us?”

“Just us,” Seungri replied, nodding rather eagerly as well.

“Maybe I can take her home afterwards too.”

Waving goodbye to him, as soon as Wonyoung turned around, she squealed to herself and tossed her hair back, really feeling herself as she hurried away before she could explode in excitement.

Shatter.

“And there she is! There’s our student council president everyone~! Jang Wonyoung!”

As she walked through the front doors of the school, she maintained her poise and kept her chin held high. She did small waves towards the crowd as she walked with the student council in tow behind her, flaunting her new position with pride. As she passed by the students dotting either side of the halls, she smiled at them and noted their reactions, wondering what they thought about her in the moment.

“Oh my god, Wonyoung won! I’m so glad! She deserves it so much after all her hard work!”

“She’s the one who always helps us out before we even know what to do—can’t say anything about this result other than it was expected from the start.”

“Of course she won, that was the natural outcome, yeah? She’s the crowd favorite. If she lost, there would have been an uproar.”

Smiling more confidently now, she strutted a bit faster, enjoying the attention.

She made it. She finally made it.

She’s in a club. She’s got a handsome boyfriend. She’s even made her way to the top of the council. She was the queen of their year—no, their entire school. What more could she ask for?

Everything was perfect.

Glancing to her side, she spotted a blonde girl shying away in the corner behind a few lockers, watching the parade of council members who had all been newly elected. She made eye contact briefly with Wonyoung and looked away, covering her ears.

Wonyoung didn’t even need to read her mind to know what she was thinking.

“Damn, what a fucking show-off?”

Wonyoung’s eyes widened. “Who … who said that?”

The vice president turned to her and raised a brow. “Who said what, Prez? No one said anything. Did we say something to you?”

Wonyoung narrowed her eyes and scanned the crowd. She couldn’t tell who said that, but she was very sure she heard it loud and clear.

“What a fucking show-off. She just won the position and now she’s already bragging about it. I hate her.”

She raised a finger and pointed it at a random sophomore who she felt like sounded like the voice in her head. “You. You better watch what you’re saying. Better yet, what you’re thinking of. I can hear you, you know? Loud and clear.”

Threatened, the kid pressed himself against the lockers and shook his head. “Wh-What? I-I-I wasn’t … I wasn’t saying or thinking anything!”

His voice was different. Wonyoung was mistaken.

The vice president tapped Wonyoung’s shoulder again and brought her back. “Easy now. Prez, are you ok? You’re scaring people. I don’t think it’s a good look for us—for you.”

Shaking her head, Wonyoung refused to relent. She glanced around them again and tried to discern who that voice really was—who it really belonged to. She wanted to know. She wanted to know what they were saying a bit more. She wanted to know why they were saying that about her.

“Look at her—she must feel so proud of herself. Queen bee. More like queen bitch.”

She darted to the right. “Who said—!”

“I hate her face, Her eyes are so big and her lips are so crooked. She’s got a constant resting bitch face too.”

She darted to the left. “I heard that! I heard—!”

“What the fuck is her problem? Can she just get lost? We have more important things to do than ‘beholding her victory’.”

Grunting, she stomped with one foot and raised her voice. “Ya! Ya, who was saying that? Who among you was saying those things?”

But no one replied.

As Wonyoung pushed their secretary and treasurer away from her when they tried to calm her down, she slammed a fist into a nearby locker door and grunted. “Ya! I’m talking to all of you! You think you’re invisible, huh? You think I don’t know what you’re thinking of and saying about me? Come out! Come out and say it to my face!”

And just like that, the tsunami of thoughts began bombarding her all at once.

“Is she insane? Why is she acting up like a little brat? Entitled piece of shit.”

“I never liked her—she’s so fake. But this? This is just something else.”

“Is she showing her navel? God, what a slut. She might as well flash her tits to everyone—if she had any.”

Pressing her hands against her temples, she grunted. “Stop …”

“She got skinnier lately. Is she malnourished or something? Trying to be an influencer much?”

“Why is she putting this much effort into this? She’s such a try hard I bet.”

“Pick me girl. Definitely a pick me girl. I told the boys to stop giving her attention, but—.”

“I said stop!” Wonyoung yelled at the crowd, eyes now tainted a shade of red, veins now popping out along her neck.

“Sigh, she still wants to be the center of attention even when she’s having a meltdown.”

“Awww, is someone getting overwhelmed? Maybe she can ask some of her ‘friends’ to help her out. Lol!”

“Where’s her boyfriend? Maybe he can shut her up or something. She’s getting annoying now.”

“She’s too spoiled. She needs to be taught a lesson.”

“Someone get her a life please, this isn’t amusing at all. “Teacher’s pet! Go run back to them for protection boohoo.”

“Lol! Bet her family pays the school to solve her little problems.”

“I liked her better when she was a nerd and not some wannabe trying to ‘stand out’.”

Falling to her knees, Wonyoung was gripping at the roots of her hair, trying to yank them out. She couldn’t get the voices out of her head. She couldn’t stop them from saying whatever the hell they wanted right into her mind. She knew no one was speaking out loud—no one would dare challenge her like that. Not anymore. But all their voices and all their thoughts—they were too vivid. They were too imposing.

They were too real.

“What … what do you want from me …?” Wonyoung muttered as she tried to stand back up. No one bothered to help her. Nobody bothered to lend a hand. They all kept a safe distance from her as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “What the fuck do you want from me!”

No one said a word, and yet, her head was hurting and aching from all the noise their minds were making.

Shaking her head, she chuckled. 

Wonyoung laughed to herself slowly at first. Softly. Until it drew out into a guffaw. Into a hysterical fit. “Right … right … I just did what you wanted me to … I just listened to all of you … Did what you wanted … what you needed … Became what you wanted me to be …”

“I FUCKING DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU ALL!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, crying shamelessly in the middle of the crowd, shaking her head erratically in utter despair “WHAT ELSE DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME! HUH? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME!”

Catching her breath, she fell back on her hands and knees and pounded her fist repeatedly against the floor. “What .. .what … what the … fuck do you … want me … what do you want me to be … Just tell me … just tell me … so it can all stop … the voices … Please …”

But as she closed her eyes one more time, opening her mind up to the onslaught of voices and thoughts around her, she was utterly bombarded and drowned out by all their combined opinions, beliefs, criticisms, feedbacks, and insults—all until she could barely even recognize her own voice in her head.

I know I will never be perfect. I know I’ll never be able to please everyone.

But I just wanted to be the vision of me they wanted me to be … to make them happy … 

To be like them … to be one of them … to survive …

Was that wrong …?

Why can’t they just be satisfied with me …? With who I am …?

Who … who even am I … outside of all of this …?

==

IVE is literally just Wonyoung and friends, and you can’t even deny it. Look at them! I hate how Wonyoung always has to steal the show from the other members!

What? They’re my friends … they … mean a lot to me too …

I-Is … is it my fault … if I shine brighter than others …?

Is it my fault … for wanting to pursue my dreams alongside them …?

“This is Channel Nine News reporting to you live from East Seongbuk-dong, where a truck filled with various hazardous chemicals has been hit by a speeding bus. The result of the head-on crash resulted in the spreading of noxious fumes and gases around the area. Emergency responders are now on the scene to … wait what’s … holy—what is that!”

As the chemicals spilled onto the ground, seeping into the sewers and the soil around it, the gas slowly parted from the atmosphere beneath the helicopter, giving the news crew a first-hand view of the brewing catastrophe.

The ground shook violently as overgrown roots sprouted out, tearing through the manmade concrete and asphalt, ripping apart the suburban roads and tearing them asunder. They coiled around each other like twisted tendrils, snaking through the gardens, backyards, and front lawns of nearby houses. As they slithered through, continuously growing in size and length, they slathered the remnants of the chemical solution they were doused in against the other nearby plants and shrubs. Within seconds, they too began to grow to gargantuan proportions as now stems, barks, leaves, and petals all grew to the sizes of the homes that once housed them.

“This is … this is live right now! As we continue the broadcast, we must warn the civilians living in—AHHHHH!”

Before the reporter could even issue the warning, one of the tentacle-like roots curled itself around the landing skids of the helicopter, keeping it in place. As the pilot tried to maneuver out of its grasp, thick root after thick root continued to wrap itself around the slick metal bars, further halting the aerial vehicle in the skies.

“W-We have company!” one of the other crew on board shouted in alarm as he pointed towards the other side of the helicopter. There, a large bulbous head rose up from the ground, and with its folded petals, snarled and barred its thorn-shaped fangs at the news crew.

Shifting the camera towards the awakened botanic beast, he urged the reporter to keep going. “I-I-It seems … it seems the situation has … escalated quickly … To anyone out there still watching and tuned in to our coverage … please look away … as this is about to get ugly—.”

SMASH.

It all happened in a flash. One moment, the plant’s pseudo-jaw was about to wrap itself around the vehicle to take a big chomp out of it. A moment later, a large hand intervened and pinched its petals shut. The air boomed with a loud low-pitched laughter as the same hand wrestled the bulbous head into the ground and pinned it there.

“Look! Over there! Is it …?”

It was just like a scene straight from the movies.

A large girl wrapped her legs around the thick stem of the plant and began punching its head into the ground while straddling it. Another girl, who was surrounded by a nest of vines quickly closing in on her, took a deep breath and screamed at the top of her lungs, using her sonic screech to push them back and cause them to rip into shreds. One girl was soaring in the air, lifting civilians out of their homes and transporting them onto rescue boats on the river where it was safer. And yet another girl beat her chest ferociously and morphed into a large Western lowland gorilla, rampaging through the streets and taming the tendrils that were coming after fleeing civilians.

The news crew couldn’t believe their eyes, but as soon as they saw another girl being dropped from the sky by her teammate, spreading her limbs and ripping her vest to shreds as chains shot out of her body, they knew who had arrived onto the scene.

“Heroes!” the reporter exclaimed, grasping her microphone firmly and continuing the news report. As the large girl smashed the remaining tendrils that held the helicopter in place, the pilot immediately soared higher and began circling the scene. “Live from East Seongbuk-dong! We have an active and ongoing situation with our local heroes! Following the chemical disaster which lead to these mutant plants rampaging through the suburbs, a band of heroes has come to our rescue! Look at them go!”

However, as much as they would have appreciated a heroic welcome, that was far from the truth on the ground.

“Keep it together, girls! We still have a few civs to save in the houses further down the street!” the gorilla roared in its deeper voice, leaping up onto a lamppost to slam it down onto a nearby series of potted plants that were about to go berserk from the chemicals. The one with chains coming out from all over her torso, who was wrestling the seemingly endless wave of vines and roots that came from the opposite house, grunted and glanced behind her. “Got it boss! Yujin—look out behind you!”

The gorilla darted her gaze, but it was too late. At least, it would have been if it weren’t for the loud clapping sound of two truck-sized hands slamming against each other to turn one overgrown sunflower into mulch and crumpled petals. “I got her, Rei-unnie! Look out on your side!”

A sonic screech filled the air as a blonde-haired girl created a tunnel through the trunk of a fallen orange tree, making her way to the other side and screaming at wolf-sized homegrown potatoes that bursted from beneath the asphalt. “Thanks Leeseo, are you all ok? Where’s Gaeul?”

The girl in question landed gracefully by the blonde girl’s side and patted her on the back. “Right here, Liz. Right here. All the civilians are accounted for. I checked every house in sight. It seems like this road is the only affected one—.”

In the middle of their little huddle, the ground shook violently once more. They grouped together in an instant. Rei wrapped some of her chains around each of them while Gaeul lifted them up in the air, struggling to keep all of them together with her flight. As they glanced down at the scene they had just momentarily left, they spotted the true area of calamity that they were facing.

Now, the neighboring roads were being ripped apart one by one by a forest of roots. As they emerged from beneath the concrete, tearing out strips of road and sidewalk, they upturned cars, uprooted their fellow plants, and dowsed them with the chemicals that created them, spreading the nightmare towards the rest of the neighborhood.

“Oh no …” the reporter muttered as the helicopter hovered right next to them, witnessing their view from above as well, broadcasting it to the public. “Is this … is this the end …? Will … East Seongbuk-dong fall to this … vile verdure?”

Leeseo unraveled herself from Rei’s chains and pointed at a spot between two of the uprooted houses in the distance. Swinging from side to side, she beckoned. “Look! It’s her! She made it!”

Gaeul spotted it too and rushed over towards where Leeseo had gestured to. As their youngest turned large once again and trampled on the plants and roots that were trying to take her down, the other four girls rushed over to the street filled with large blasts and explosions.

Taking a deep breath, Wonyoung focused herself. She wouldn’t let the number of enemies get in her way.

“Not a single scratch,” she muttered to herself, and when she opened her eyes, she held up both of her hands and began dancing.

With each motion, she fired beams of pure energy from her fingertips, singing through the bark and stem, blasting back the roots and overgrown crops. With each flick of her wrists, with each shove of her palms, with each snap of her fingers, she manipulated the energy around her and within her body, sending them surging forward towards the mutated plants, creating a wide radius of smoking cross-sections around her.

As the other girls honed in on her position and dropped around her one by one, she smiled at them. “I’m glad you got to hold them off. Sorry for being late. Did I miss out on anything?”

Yujin rolled her eyes at Wonyoung as she returned to her human form. “Just about everything. Happy to have you back.”

“Girls, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but it if we don’t stop this now …” Rei raised as she pointed at the tendrils that were heading towards the nearby river. “If that chemical gets anywhere near the water … ugh, I don’t want to fight mutant seaweed!”

Huddling together once more, they all glanced at each other before glancing towards their leader, Yujin. “Alright. Let’s make it quick. Contain the plants. Find the chemicals. Clean them all up. Got it?”

“Got it!” they all said in unison, and with that, they knew what to do.

Leeseo immediately went for the crashed vehicles, urging the first responders to help out. As she shrank back down to her normal size, she swan-dived into the river, and after a few moments, bursted out as a giant sixty-foot tall girl with a big innocent smile on her. There, she lifted handfuls of river water and began splashing it onto the chemicals from the truck while the firefighters dowsed it with their hoses.

Rei and Gaeul teamed up to rescue the civilians on other streets. As Gaeul flew them both around the different houses, Rei kept her eyes peeled for any movement, firing chains at any victim she spotted along the way and lifting them up towards her. By the time they had scouted through majority of the neighborhood, about thirty to forty civilians were now hanging securely by their waists and hips underneath Rei as Gaeul pushed herself beyond her limits to fly them all to safety across the river.

Meanwhile, Liz tagged along with Yujin. As the latter turned into a hardy black stallion, Liz rode her and covered the latter’s ears carefully as she screamed into the air. She attracted the attention of the remaining cluster of plant-life and homegrown vegetation, drawing them towards one of the larger intersections in the neighborhood.

Unfortunately, one of the vines rose up underneath Yujin’s hooves, causing the two girls to tumble over and slam onto the road.

Groaning, they glanced up and witnessed a large dome of vines, roots, and leaves closing in on them, trying to trap them. 

Gaeul swooped down from above and dropped Rei as they both tried to push against the encroaching verdure, trying to save their teammates. Leeseo joined the fray as well and tried to use her larger hands to pry them open, but with little avail as they sank their thorns into her skin and made it more difficult for her.

“I can’t! I can’t! Leeseo screamed as the dome was about to close in on her teammates, watching as now only their feet were visible past the shrinking dome. “Unnie! Help!”

BOOM.

Blasting a clean hole through the lowering dome, Wonyoung blew the steam off her fingers and started darting towards their direction.

Crossing her arms, she slashed through the barreling vines with pinpoint precision, using nothing but pure energy to keep them at bay and out of her way. She jumped over a large fallen trunk that tried to slam her against the ground, ducked beneath an overturned car to avoid the sharp petals being hurled her way by a rotating sentient flower, before she finally slid towards them while narrowly avoiding the grip of several large tendrils.

Once they were regrouped again, panting, exhausted almost completely by the unending mob of plants, they looked to each other for support.

“One final stand, girls?” Wonyoung harkened, holding her hands out and making them glow a bright pink. “Together?”

“Together!” they all screamed in unison. And as the entire army began flocking to their position, they growled into the sky as they defended the neighborhood.

Hands crushing into roots, hooves and talons stomping and scratching, eardrum-shattering shrieks tearing through the leaves and roots, chains whipping at the slithering vines, fang-like thorns racing after soaring angels, and beams of energy blasting through them like they were made of paper, the girls acted in unison as a team and fended off the remaining plants that dared to endanger the safety of the neighborhood.

Blasting repeatedly against a wall of leaves, with nowhere else to run, Wonyoung fell back and started running towards the others. She fondled her pockets and whipped out a big bright diamond, clutching it in her palm. “Liz, cover me! Yujin, Leeseo—up we go!”

Liz nodded and turned her sonic abilities towards the way Wonyoung came from, holding the wall of plants at bay. Leeseo lowered her hand out towards Wonyoung, and when Yujin got into position, their youngest teammate hurled them both in the air. There, Yujin turned into a large eagle and picked her up before turning into a humpback whale and swatting her up higher with a tail flip.

As she rose, Rei and Gaeul spotted her in the air and understood the play. Rei reached out to Gaeul with one of her chains, and with all her might, swung her around several times before launching her towards Wonyoung. Using this momentum, she clutched Wonyoung midair and began lifting her up higher and higher past the clouds and the ground below them.

They shared a brief glance as Gaeul smiled at her. “Do your thing, baby.” 

Wonyoung smiled back and blew her a kiss. “Thanks, baby. Let me go as hard as you can now.”

Without needing to be told twice, Gaeul thrusted upwards and hoisted Wonyoung into the air.

With the full momentum of her team beneath her feet, Wonyoung closed her eyes and pictured it in her head. Then, as she reached the peak of her flight, just as she was about to come crashing down at a high velocity, she hunched forwards and allowed this new momentum to make her swirl and swirl and swirl, spinning downwards at breakneck speed like a top.

“Shining … bright … like … a … DIAMOND!”

There.

It was bright. It was blinding. But above all else, it was beautiful—she was beautiful.

Channeling all the energy she had collected from her teammates, milking the last of the energy within her dry, she channelled them all at the tips of her fingers and coalesced them into the diamond. There, the energy bounced all around the crystal’s insides and surface before blasting out in beams all around it and eventually shattering into a mini-supernova in the sky.

BOOM.

As the dust settled and the smoke cleared, small pink shards began falling from the sky like sparkling stars. There, slowly descending headfirst towards the ground, was Wonyoung, completely knocked out by the surge of energy she had to emit. Right beneath her was a large caved in pit on the ground as not a single plant was left moving following the explosion.

Not a single thing survived.

“Wonyoung!”

Gaeul was the first to act, speeding into the air to intercept her. Once she swooped her off of her trajectory and broke her fall, she spun around a bit in the air and held her tightly. “Wonyoung? Wonyoung, baby, are you awake? Talk to me please—answer me!”

Coughing up after a long pause, Wonyoung opened her eyes and sighed with a smile. “I told you to let me go, didn’t I? But now … just hold me close.”

As the two girls descended onto their other four teammates, the sound of a helicopter could be heard in the distance as it followed them around and descended as well onto a nearby patch of even road.

“It … it’s over … It’s over! These wonderful girls have all saved our lives—and potentially countless others! For the viewers at home, remember their faces—we have them to thank for the crisis that was just averted today.

As the six girls all embraced each other, thankful that they were all alive, the reporter from the helicopter hopped off her ride and immediately rushed towards them. “Excuse me? Excuse me! Could I get a quick word from you girls?”

The six of them glanced at each other before turning to Yujin, who turned towards Wonyoung and gestured towards the reporter. “Go ahead. All yours.”

Smiling, Wonyoung released herself from Gaeul, pushed her hair back and held her hands together, bowing respectfully before approaching the reporter and waving at the camera. “So, miss savior, who are you girls? Could you introduce yourselves?”

Wonyoung received the microphone professionally and cleared her throat. “I’m Jang Wonyoung, and these girls over here,” she paused, pointing towards the others. “Are my teammates. We’re all in our first year at Starship Academy, Class V, Squad E. Team 1-VE for short.”

“Any final words you’d like to share on behalf of 1-VE following this botanical battle?”

Batting her eyelashes, Wonyoung chuckled and pointed at the camera. “Keep an eye out for us. We might be rookies, but we’ll dive right in and make our way to the top of the hero charts pretty soon. Don’t worry~! ‘Cause while we’re around, Korea will be a better and safer place. Bet on it~!”

And as the reporter began interviewing the rest of the team for a special coverage report later on in the day, Wonyoung pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed in bliss. Glancing all around her, witnessing the aftermath of her all-out assault up close, she couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction.

“One step closer,” she muttered, clenching her fist against her chest as she glanced up at the sky.

Shatter.

“Harder. Harder! Faster. I said faster!”

As Leeseo weaved and fired jabs at the punching bag, Yujin barked at her from the side as she herself would lift her own set of heavy weights with one arm gorilla-fied, working on her muscles in that state.

She looked past Leeseo and watched as Rei was swinging across the expanded monkey bars that spanned the entire length of their private gym, using her chains to latch onto each individual bar. “Make sure to feel each chain wrap around tightly! No cheating! I want each of those bars wrapped around with one of your chains by the time I’m done with this set!”

“Are you kidding me, Yujin? Ugh, there’s like … nghh a hundred of them across the entire thing!” Rei complained as she had already wrapped about twenty of them as she swung to the next one without even moving her hands or arms. Beneath her, bubbles emerged from the surface of the pool.

Deep within the reinforced walls of their tank-turned-Olympic-pool, Liz was holding onto her oxygen tank to keep her submerged. Taking a few huffs of oxygen, she took a deep breath and screamed above her. watching as a column of air and sound pushed its way through the water in an attempt to reach the surface. Each scream made some water splash out, but it was nowhere near as strong or powerful yet.

Yujin curled her arms back and forth as she walked over towards the glass side and tapped on the tank. Cupping her hand around her mouth, she pressed into the glass and yelled, “Harder! Use. Your. Diaphragm! Not. Your. Throat!”

Liz widened her eyes and nodded as she took another huff at the oxygen and tried it again. This time, the bubbling reached to about two feet past the surface, lasting a few seconds longer as well before fizzing out and dissipating back into the pool.

Across from the blonde girl, where rings of fire were set ablaze, Gaeul was zooming and soaring in the air like a skilled gymnast, flexibly shooting through each of the hoops in rapid succession without singing her hair or her outfit. She managed to make sharp turns and corners with little to no effort before landing back down squarely on her own two feet atop a small perch.

“Great, now try that again with one of the training dummies in your arms!” Yujin barked, still curling her weights. “I saw you were struggling last week with rescuing some of the civs. We need to work on your upper limits, unnie!”

Groaning, Gaeul dipped herself backwards but kept herself in the air, grabbing her heels while contorted into a difficult curve, glancing at Yujin in her upside-down state. “Aww, but Yujin, I’m fast enough to get to them, you know? I’m more of a speedster than a … bulkster, or whatever you call it.”

Yujin chuckled a bit before placing a sterner expression on her. “No excuses! One more ounce of effort here in training is equivalent to one more life we could possibly save. Isn’t that right, girls?”

“Yes ma’am!” they all cheered in unison.

“Good, now let’s put an extra set on top of today’s routine, yeah? Let’s give it our all now! We won’t lose to the other squads, will we?”

“Yes ma’am!” they cheered again.

“Good, good! Now get to it!” she snapped, dropping her weights from her gorilla arm before picking up a lighter weight to use for her normal human arm, which was already growing a fair bit of lean muscle as well. Searching around the gym, she walked towards the other end of Liz’s pool and found the girl she was looking for all cooped up in the corner of the large space, blindfold still above her eyes.

“Ya, this girl,” she muttered with a smile, shaking her head as she turned her back to her, curling her arm repeatedly. “Like always, just by herself. Let’s leave the princess be then.”

As Yujin’s footsteps faded into the distance, Wonyoung was able to bring her attention back to her immediate surroundings. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the button on the remote that was supposed to be in front of her, listening carefully as the machine whirred.

“Level selected: ten. Professional. Are you sure you would like to—.”

Without even needing to hear the warning, she pressed the button to confirm it, and soon, the machine obliged.

“Target practice: initiated. Beginning in three. Two. One.”

Silence. Nothing but silence.

PEW.

Wonyoung lifted a finger and immediately shot something to her left. A second later, she lifted her right pinky and blasted at something to her right. Half a second after that, she fired three shots in rapid succession—one towards her lower right, and two behind her.

Exhaling in a controlled manner, she opened up all her senses and paid attention.

PEW. PEW. PEW.

She shot a volley of blasts in an arc-shape above her, destroying a series of what sounded like six to seven targets in one go. Just as she was about to lower her hand, she heard a little creak. She hopped up into the air and did a brief split, blasting sideways with her extended palms and feet, blowing up what sounded like heavier dolls.

When she landed back down in a three-point position, she fired twice through her legs before flipping her hair back and rapid firing in front of her with her fingers, getting rid of a mini-swarm of nanite robots.

PEW.

The moment she heard a squeak, she blasted her finger at the rat that tried to sneak in through one of the holes in the wall, aiming just above its entrance to not kill the poor creature. Chuckling as she heard it scurry back inside, she relaxed her breath and pointed her fingers to the opposite side in a gun-like manner.

She felt a shift in the air and turned towards it, aiming right at it.

“You never miss, don’t you?”

Pulling off her blindfold, Wonyoung was surprised to see Gaeul floating in the air above her, head tilted backwards so she was staring at her lips and chin. Her floating ceased when she dropped onto her own two feet and held Wonyoung’s arm up against her shoulder, leaning in to kiss her. “You could have killed me there.”

“I know, and no one would have heard,” she teased, planting another soft kiss on the shorter girl’s forehead. “Shouldn’t you be training? Yujin’s going to get mad again if she sees us like this.”

“Relax, we’re already on break. We’ve been training all morning—we deserve this much,” Gaeul insisted, hugging her girlfriend from the side as she urged her to take a seat with her on the bench. “Shouldn’t you be resting too? Give me your fingers.”

Wonyoung refused, hiding her fingers underneath her skinny thighs. When Gaeul noticed this, she wagged a finger at the younger girl until she relented and uncurled her fingers onto Gaeul’s lap. “Like I thought. Do they still hurt? Did you get the proper meds for it?”

“The nurse said she can only do so much for me. She doesn’t know what to do about the charring,” Wonyoung explained, drumming her fingertips gently against Gaeul’s thighs. She bit her lip in embarrassment as Gaeul glanced down at her burnt digits. “This always happens after I use that move. I need to get gloves at this rate.”

“What you need to do is get some sense slapped into you,” Gaeul retorted, slapping the side of Wonyoung’s face gently, chuckling as the soft impact connected. “How are you supposed to save others if you can’t even save yourself, Wonyoung?”

“I’ll be fine. I always am, un—Gaeul …”

Gaeul smirked and leaned into her, tapping her nose with her pointer. “You’re cute when you forget to drop the honorifics. That’s why I love you.”

Exhaling deeply, Wonyoung shook her head. “Whatever … we did well last time, didn’t we? During E.R. class? I heard we were all over the news.”

“Are you kidding me?” Gaeul asked in disbelief, smiling widely at her girlfriend. “It’s all anyone was talking about! They couldn’t shut up about you especially, you know? You aren’t on Twitter, are you?”

Wonyoung shook her head. Sighing, Gaeul shrugged and held Wonyoung’s hands in hers. “There were so many tweets about you—mostly positive ones. This one guy made a good point about you becoming a human atomic bomb. You did scare us with the intensity of that explosion.”

“Ya, I keep telling Yujin and the others—it wasn’t meant to explode. The gem was supposed to help me fire at multiple targets at once. The crystal lattice structure should have bounced the energy a few times before releasing them in a spread direction. It wasn’t … it wasn’t supposed to blow up.”

“Maybe try splitting your energy beams—is that what you call them? Instead of singular blasts, try lowering the energy you expend on each of them so you can fire them from multiple fingers at once,” Gaeul suggested, mimicking her as she shot air guns towards the ceiling. “You always put all your energy into isolated blasts. No wonder you get tired easily.”

“I … never thought of that actually,” Wonyoung muttered, curling her charred digits back and forth as she pondered on the suggestion. “I’m more used to shooting things one at a time. Or blasting at them. It’s hard for me to control the shape of it too.”

“Well, you’ll need to if you’re going to be the top hero of our generation like everyone’s claiming you’re going to be.”

“Top hero?” Wonyoung repeated, feeling a tightness in her chest. “What were they saying?”

“Online? On Twitter?” Gaeul clarified.

Nodding, Wonyoung leaned deeper into Gaeul and rested her head on her shoulder. “What were they saying about me? I … I want to know.”

“Are you sure?” Gaeul muttered, caressing Wonyoung’s head gently. “They were just talking on and on about you becoming the hotshot hero of the fourth generation. They like your powers. They like the charisma you have when you’re not being a dork. They like the flashiness of it all. You know, typical fan stuff. They even said that you’d look good in an official suit too.”

“Like Starship would ever give us good outfits,” Wonyoung teased, and the two girls burst into laughter.

“Seriously though, I think … I think you have a shot,” Gaeul replied, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand tightly. “More than … more than any of us here in 1-VE. I think … I think you have the best chance at making it big. They compared you to Karina-sunbae in the upper year and Yuna in 1-T. You’ll get along with the likes of them. I just know it.”

Shaking her head, Wonyoung refused to believe such a thought. “You really think so? I’m nothing like them. Karina-sunabe’s an expert at hand-to-hand combat with her motion paralysis abilities. And Yuna’s definitely way better than me with her hypno-speech. All I have are … charred fingers and a dream.”

Pressing a finger against Wonyoung’s crumpled chest, Gaeul smiled. “Then keep that dream alive. Fight for it. Because you and I both know it’s bigger than just you.”

Pecking her softly on the cheek before leaving, Gaeul told her, “If I could bet my life on you, I would. So don’t disappoint me, Jang Wonyoung.”

Biting her lip, Wonyoung blushed as she glanced down at her own fingers, taking deep breaths to control herself. “I have a shot … to be the top hero of our generation …”

Lowering the collar of her shirt and taking out her locket, she popped it open and glanced at the faded black-and-white picture within the compartment. Holding back a few tears, she caressed the image with her thumb, gently holding those three faces in her shaky hands.

“Appa … eomma … unnie … one day … one day …”

“For you, I will.”

Shatter.

“Alert! Alert! All units, report immediately onto the scene! We have a triad of bank robbers running down Myeongdong! They’re carrying about seven or eight bags filled with cash. I’ll need backup—hey, hey! What are you doing?”

As Wonyoung dropped the parfait she had just bought onto the ground, splattering its aesthetic perfection onto the sidewalk, she slipped out of her sandals and darted past the officer who had just requested for on-the-ground support.

Navigating her way past the hustling and bustling civilians, she trailed her gaze on the robbers. They haven’t spotted her yet. But as she kept bumping into and just narrowly avoiding people, the ruckus she caused while following them quickly got noticed.

“Shit, someone’s following us—split up!”

Just as they were about to break into three different mad dashes with the stolen cash still on them, Wonyoung gasped. It was now or never.

Remembering Gaeul’s words of advice, she stretched her hand out in front of her and aimed for the guy in the dead center of the intersection. Splitting her fingers and spreading them out as far as she could, she grunted and pictured three different energy beams firing out of her finger tips.

And just like that, she felt it.

Although it wasn’t as charged up, she could feel the trickle of energy coming to the surface of not just one but two fingers. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but it was worth a shot.

She fired. And when the energy beams came out in two’s instead of singular shots, she was amazed by her own feat. watching as two of them—save for the one in the middle—got knocked back into the vendors’ stalls behind them, buried now in different kinds of fish and pork cuts, rendered immediately immobile.

The one in the middle was too stunned to react, giving Wonyoung the chance to fire a more solid beam right at his chest, knocking him unconscious.

Once all three of them were confirmed to be knocked out, Wonyoung dragged them to the center of the intersection where a bunch of civilians had gathered to watch what was going on. She tied them up using plastic bags she borrowed from one of the vendors and made sure all the money was accounted for.

By the time the officers came to the rescue with a full squad for backup, Wonyoung had already handed them the bags of stolen money. “Officer. Here you go.”

The man was pleasantly surprised as he received the bags. “Wh-why thank you, young girl. You … you did this yourself?”

Wonyoung nodded politely before excusing herself with a bow, shaking her two smoky fingers off.

Shatter.

“Wahahaha! Look at you petty lowlifes run for your pathetic and miserable lives~! Run, run~! Run in the face of pure terror!”

As the large transparent hamster-ball-like sphere descended from the sky and began hovering a few stories above the street, the villain inside began tugging at the chains that bound her from within, using them to navigate her orb-shaped vehicle.

“Flee, flee~! Or else you’ll get fried to a crisp~! Wahahaha!”

Bolts of electricity began firing from her sphere in every direction—aiming at cars, lampposts, electric signs—causing them to overload and explode from the sheer amount of energy surging into them. Some of the civilians who weren’t able to run in time were hit by the electric shocks and were immediately zapped to death, leaving nothing behind but smoky, burnt, and unmoving corpses.

“Wahaha! That’s it—dance for me! Dance for me you monkeys—!”

SMASH.

Both sides of the sphere were immediately crushed between Leeseo’s gigantic hands. She pulled the vehicle upwards into the air like it were a toy and pushed harder to crack its surface. “I got it unnies! Don’t worry! We can focus on saving—.”

BZZZZT.

A blue jolt of electricity coursed through Leeseo’s arms all the way up to her shoulder, making her scream in terror and pain. Shortly after, smoke rose from her skin as she collapsed onto the ground, nearly flattening a nearby building a she fell in her gigantic state.

The damaged but still functioning sphere righted itself above the road and repositioned itself once again. “Fools! You’re still human! Don’t think that having powers means you’re immortal!”

Clenching down on the chains, the villain channeled her electrical powers into the orb, lighting it up brightly like a bulb, illuminating nearby buildings before firing bolt after bolt of pure electricity right at them, damaging everything in their wake.

Herding some of the civilians to safety, Yujin beckoned to her team. “Girls, girls! Someone get Leeseo! The others go save the civs first—.”

“I’ve got this, Yujin.”

Pushing past their leader, Wonyoung jumped into the fray. Pressing her hands together she fired pellets of pure energy right at the orb to grab the attention of the woman inside. Once she was focused on Wonyoung, she held her breath and screamed at the top of her lungs to fire a straight beam of energy right at her.

The orb didn’t duck out of the way. Instead, the woman driving it fired a bolt of electricity to match Wonyoung’s, meeting it halfway and stopping the attack as she pressed on.

“Oh~? Another energy user? Wahaha, my lucky day! When I’m done with you, I’ll fry you alive and take some of that ability of yours~!”

Wonyoung skidded backwards. She couldn’t hold this for much longer. Although she was used to firing high powered blasts at her opponents, she wasn’t used to sustaining these beams for longer periods of time.

As her resolve crumbled, noted by the cracking ground beneath her, the villain laughed maniacally at the girl. “Fool~! Don’t resist! Or else you’ll end up frying yourself from overexertion. I can tell you’re a rookie, so there’s no shame in losing … Wahaha~!”

Grunting, Wonyoung refused to give in, but she needed to think of a way to blindside the woman.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Gaeul signaling to her as she lifted a child up into the air. It looked like she was flapping her arm about trying to indicate something. Was it a fan? A swatter? No—it was a shield.

A shield.

Wincing from all the pain, as the blue bolt slowly swallowed up almost ninety-percent of Wonyoung’s attack, leaving her with very little wiggle room to resist it, she saw the sparks fly oh so close to her face, urging her to act. It was now or never.

Shield … shield … shield …

Shield!

As if responding to her wishes, Wonyoung’s body began to glow a faint pink. When she could no longer take it, she let go of the beam and allowed herself to be struck by the raging bolt.

Much to her surprise, it did nothing to her.

Her form rippled, but the pink energy surrounding her mostly stayed in place, making her glow the entire time.

“What …? Is that … an energy field …?” the villain observed, leaning forward in her chains. “Blast it! That doesn’t matter—I’m not going to prison again! Eat this, you little brat~!”

Unsure of what to do, Wonyoung trusted her gut. Instead of trying to counter the numerous bolts that came firing towards her, she let them come after her, hitting her body one crackle at a time, feeling nothing. Once she managed to run closer towards the sphere, she drew her fist back and punched forward, sending a powerful circular blast of energy flying straight towards the bottom of the vehicle.

“Oh, rats ass—!”

BOOM.

As the orb exploded into pieces, Wonyoung grabbed her aching shoulder and glanced all around her. When the smoke cleared, all the civilians on the ground began cheering for her, thanking her generously.

Wonyoung lifted her hand up in the air and fired a bright pink beam into the sky.

Shatter.

“Everyone! Follow the light!”

As the storm continued raging on and on, winds beating against the windows and trees, rains raising floods that threatened to drown the entire metropolis, it didn’t seem like this sudden surge in the weather would have any immediate end in sight.

As Wonyoung fired beacon after beacon of energy into the air, trying to part the dark clouds above her, acting as a lighthouse to those who were seeking refuge on higher safer ground, she grew restless.

Her teammates were taking too long to come back. There were still a lot more civilians to be rescued in the other parts of the area. There was still a large need of heroes to help out at the shelter. She couldn’t possibly do it all alone. She couldn’t possibly just stand here and act as a glorified signal beam. She had to do something.

She had to help.

Darting out of the shelter and into the storm rather brazenly, Wonyoung glanced all around her. She didn’t have the mobility like her other teammates had. She couldn’t shapeshift into an aquatic creature, she couldn’t fly, she couldn’t part the waters nor tread through them. She had to think of something else to help—there must be another way.

Her way.

There.

Amidst the raging flood waters, mixed in with the swept away cars, trash, fallen trees, and cluttered debris, Wonyoung spotted a pair of children—likely siblings—getting swept away by the flood as well. She watched as they got slammed into the floating car beside them, pinned to it by a fallen electrical pole that was threatening to electrocute them should the wires touch the water.

“No … no!”

Shielding up, she coated herself in her energy shield and dove right into the flood. She was not the greatest swimmer—she had only ever swam inside their private pool a handful of times—but Wonyoung put her back into it. She didn’t want to see innocents die while she still had a chance to do something about it. She wouldn’t let that happen—ever.

But as she did her best to paddle and swim forwards, the current was just too strong. Her shield was just enough to protect her from anything that came barreling towards her, but it wasn’t enough to resist the opposing flow. 

Surfacing to take a deep breath, she wiped her eyes and looked for the kids. They were still pinned to the car, unable to move away from it as the car drifted forwards. They were about a meter away from impacting the wires of the fallen post—moments away from getting zapped to their deaths. And all Wonyoung could do was watch.

There has to be another way … there has to be …

Wonyoung calmed her thoughts. Think … think … think …

Wonyoung felt it around her. That … vibration … that … energy … energy …

Energy!

It was a shot in the dark, but it was worth a try.

The moment she felt the thrumming of the undercurrent, she knew she recognized it—the flow, the energy. The flood was still kinetic energy—energy just like her beams and projectiles. If she could absorb that energy or redirect it, she could stop the flow of the flood and give her enough time to swim towards the kids.

But it wasn’t going to be easy. 

Climbing back onto the dry land of the shelter, she shook the water off and dipped her hands in the flood, feeling the way it shifted and coursed, feeling the ebb and flow of the water. Closing her eyes, she gritted her teeth and hoped for a miracle.

“Please … please …”

She sensed it—the energy within the flood. Its point of origin. Where it was going.

And like a tamer with a leash, Wonyoung tried to wrestle it. She tried her hardest to grip it—to grip the flowing energy—and to calm it down. Squeezing her guts, clenching her teeth, activating every last bit of mental strength and muscle that she could, Wonyoung peeled her eyes wide open and screamed in pain as she demanded that the flood obey—as she demanded for the flood to be calm.

And it listened.

In seconds, as if she had just stopped time, she watched as the roaring flood—at least for just this one street—came to a perfect stop. 

The debris stopped flowing. The cars froze and began sinking. The waters were perfectly still as the rain drops created ripples along its surface.

Now was her chance.

She blasted the energy she had absorbed into the sky and parted a few more clouds before diving into the water and swimming towards the kids. After a powerful push, she surfaced with them both in tow and began ushering them to safety.

Once she brought them onto dry land, feeling herself absolutely spent, barely able to open her eyes, she felt two warm bodies embrace her and help her up.

“Thank you! Thank you so much, unnie …!”

Wonyoung smiled faintly before passing out onto the cold wet concrete.

Shatter.

“Out of the way, out of the way!”

As the bus came roaring through the numerous intersections on the way towards where the girls of 1-VE were, Wonyoung could already spot it from a mile away. It seemed as though its brakes were broken as the conductor and driver began screaming out their respective windows to get civilians off of its path.

Taking a deep breath, Wonyoung excused herself from the other girls and clapped her hands together. From there, as the bus drew closer and the others noticed, preparing to act, Wonyoung was already one step ahead. 

She thrusted her palms forwards, connected at the thumbs, to send a blast of pink energy towards the front of the truck. There, she controlled the continuous force of her blast to counter the speed of the bus until it slowed down to a halt a few meters before her.

No damages. No injuries. No casualties.

Before Wonyoung could even run up to the bus to check on the passengers, the entire vehicle vanished from thin air, and the screeching of its tires were replaced by the sound of a soft singular round of applause.

“Using your own energy to counter the kinetic energy of a rampaging bus—how clever. A creative way to use your powers too.”

Turning to the side, she and the 1-VE girls spotted a small group of five heading towards their way. Leeseo was the first to recognize them. “U-Unnie! Those are—!”

The one in the center raised her hand—not just towards Leeseo, but towards the growing crowd around them as well. It seems they recognized this group too. “Please, let’s skip the pleasantries.”

Extending her hand towards Wonyoung, she smiled in a calming yet commanding way. “Kwon Eunbi. I’m with one of the top hero agencies in Korea—Enozi Enterprises. It’s nice to meet you at last, Jang Wonyoung. I’ve heard all about your recent string of achievements from the news. One of us has also heard many good things from your teachers in school.”

One of the taller girls popped out from behind Eunbi and waved shyly at Wonyoung. “Hi! I used to study at Starship Academy too before I transferred after my first semester. I still talk to some of my batchmates, and you seem to be very popular.”

“Right, right, Minju~?” one of the shorter ones behind Eunbi beckoned, her fingers twitching with near-impossible speed. Saluting in Wonyoung’s direction, she smirked. “Choi Yena! Hero at Enozi! Nice to meet you too~!”

“Ya, give the rookie a break, or she’s going to be scared of us before she even considers joining us,” yet another girl about the same height as Yena ruffled her hair from behind and joined the others. “Let’s let the boss talk to her about it first.”

“Calm down you two, but Yuri’s right, we need to let Eunbi handle this,” the final girl announced, getting in between Yena and Yuri to keep them both at bay. “Lee Chaeyeon. I hope we get to work with each other soon, Wonyoung.”

“Who are you …?” Wonyoung asked in a respectful yet utterly confused tone. She glanced at the five of them, and upon noting that they had some sort of matching pink coordination to their outfits, she knew in an instant they probably all worked under Enozi Enterprises. “Sunbae … thank you for your kind words, but I don’t really know what you want from me.”

Eunbi chuckled and shook her head, holding up one hand and twisting her fingers. There, at the tips, a faint spinning hologram-like image of a tall building appeared in the space above her hand. “Like I said, we’re under Enozi Enterprises, and we’re often on the look out for up-and-coming rookies with a lot of potential. You’re one of them. We’ve kept a careful eye on you, and we liked what we saw—.”

“So we’re inviting you to work with us!” Yena interjected, zipping over to Wonyoung’s side and patting the younger girl on the head. “Wow, you are a lot taller than I expected~! I think you’ll be the tallest member of our company if you join us!”

Clearing her throat, Eunbi glared at Yena before continuing. “As I was saying, Yena’s not wrong—we’d like to invite you to be an intern under Enozi. We’ll be training with you, taking you on dispatched assignments, and putting in a good word for you at school. That should help set you up for your career in the future should you choose to pursue being a licensed hero, of course.”

Nodding slowly, Wonyoung considered it. She glanced to her side—at the other five girls of her squad, who were all just waiting for this encounter to finish so that they could get on with what they were doing—and raised a question. “How about my squad? I couldn’t have gotten anywhere without them. Do they get to come along with me?”

Yuri shook her head. “There’s only one spot available, and that’s for you, kiddo. We’re sure they’re doing great, but we only want the best. After all, it’s company policy.”

“Don’t be so hard on her, she’s just looking out for her friends, you know …” Minju explained, flashing Wonyoung a more reassuring smile. “We get that it might be a big decision for you at the moment, so you can sit and think on it.”

“But give us a response sooner rather than later, or we’ll have someone else on board by then, ok?” Chaeyeon added, saluting Wonyoung with her free hand.

Clasping her hands together, Eunbi waved the illusion away and caressed Wonyoung’s arm gently. “Think about it. This chance is … quite hard to come by, especially for kids your age. Try not to waste this opportunity, alright?”

“Alright … I’ll let you know, sunbae,” Wonyoung sheepishly replied.

As soon as Yena handed her their card, Chaeyeon ripped what seemed like a portal through the air, and they each stepped through them one at a time. Eunbi, who was the last to leave, winked at Wonyoung as if to remind her about her stern words of advice before hopping into the portal and disappearing along with the others.

Once that was all over and Wonyoung returned to her senses, Yujin gripped her by the shoulders and shook her harshly. “Are you insane? Why didn’t you take it on the spot? That was your shot at being a licensed hero before anyone else in school!”

“Yeah, I would have taken it in a heartbeat too. Got cold feed?” Rei teased with a smirk as she leaned into Liz’s frame. The blonde girl shook her head and held Rei’s hand subtly. “Maybe she’s just a little overwhelmed. Still … Enozi Enterprises … they’ve got to be at least in the top five in Korea …”

Gaeul raised an arm and made them back off to give Wonyoung some space. She crinkled her nose at the younger girl before turning to the others. “Hey, let’s let her think about it. For now, why don’t we just get back to our day and head to the amusement park already. Come on, come on, before the lines start to get longer!”

Swayed easily by their desire to make the most out of their break after finals week, the other girls dropped the matter and began running off towards the nearest bus stop. Gaeul stayed behind and pecked Wonyoung on the cheek before following after them. “Take it easy, baby.”

Wonyoung was conflicted.

As she accompanied the other girls on their weekend to themselves as a squad, she couldn’t help but think about Enozi Enterprises’ invitation and Eunbi’s words to her. The thought was holding her back from fully letting loose, feeling the pressure of coming up with an answer weigh down on her as she feigned her laughter in front of the others.

Finally, when she had a moment to herself atop the slow-spinning carousel, she bit into her cotton candy at long last, which had been sitting in her hand the entire afternoon.

“I’m glad you’re finally eating,” a voice whispered from the emptiness of the compartment. Just as Wonyoung was about to stand up, she saw Gaeul waving at her through the bars, floating in the sky. “You’ve been holding onto that all day. Poor thing was just waiting to be bitten into.”

Sighing, Wonyoung blasted the lock of the carriage gently so Gaeul could swing it open and sit opposite her.

“How did you even get up here?” Wonyoung asked, closing the bars once again and sealing it with some heat. “Never mind. Right, you can fly. You always seem to do it so effortlessly.”

Gaeul shrugged and plucked a clump of cotton candy from Wonyoung. “I got used to it over time. Sometimes I even float and fly into the ceiling in my sleep. It’s not as fun as you think, you know—the moment I even feel happy or ‘weightless’, before I know it, I’m just flying. Floating away.”

“No wonder you keep flying when you’re with me,” Wonyoung teased, hiding her face behind the cluster of candy in front of her. Gaeul shot her a suggestive look before they both burst into laughter.

“I think you should take it,” Gaeul said out of the blue, taking another clump of candy without asking, staring out the open window. “I know the other girls said it’s not a bad idea, but I think you should take it and not worry about us. That’s what’s bothering you right? Leaving us behind?”

“I …”

Scoffing, Gaeul rolled her eyes and leaned forward on her elbows. “We’ll be fine. It’s just an internship. We’ll still be seeing each other in classes. Going on missions and training as a squad here and there. You’ll just have a bit more on your plate. A little sacrifice, I know, but … let’s be honest—it’ll be worth it right?”

“You always take the words out of my mouth. That’s no fair,” Wonyoung replied.

Gaeul shrugged once more and slumped into her seat, maintaining her gaze on Wonyoung. “Take it. I’m rooting for you. I’m sure the others will be too. Just don’t forget about us when you make it big, alright?”

Wonyoung swatted a hand at her and slumped into her seat as well. “How could I ever forget?”

And as the two girls sat there idly, pondering constantly whether they should make a move on the other, they both simply stared out their shared window and watched as the majestic sunset painted their faces a humbling orange hue.

Shatter.

“Welcome to Enozi Enterprises~!”

As the speedster Yena welcomed Wonyoung the moment she stepped through the rotating doors of their building, she wasted no time greeting her and shaking her hand before yanking Wonyoung along with her, taking her on a zipping and zagging tour of their place.

Although Wonyoung couldn’t process it all at once immediately, she was amazed by what she saw.

Enozi’s building was a luxurious skyscraper that overlooked most of the districts and zones around Seoul. With various floors dedicated to different purposes—offices, barracks, training rooms and gyms, recreational facilities, and even dorm rooms for regular employees—their agency was the real deal. 

Once the tour was over, Yena brought Wonyoung and herself to a spinning stop, making Wonyoung lose her balance for a bit before righting herself on her own two feet. “Yena-sunbae … I think I might … hrk …”

Click. All the lights turned off.

As Wonyoung held her breath and leaned against what felt like a wall, she widened her eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly, the lights all came back on, and before her, the five women she had met previously all stood in their hero outfits before her, striking a pose.

“Welcome to Enozi, Wonyoung. We hope you enjoy your stay here,” Eunbi greeted atop what seemed like a large mechanical robot. “Here, consider this our welcoming gift to you.”

Hopping off the tall machine, Eunbi clapped her hands twice, and soon, it whirred to life and split its limbs into different weapons and killing devices. Smirking, Eunbi whistled and pointed in Wonyoung’s direction. “This is a hero agency, so expect the unexpected. Let’s see how you hold up!”

As the robot began stomping towards Wonyoung, the other four girls got out of the way and watched from the sidelines. Clutching her shirt, Wonyoung stared frightfully at the machine as it prepared to slam into her.

“Oh god …”

Shatter.

“Move it, move it! You can run faster than that. Go, go, go!”

As Chaeyeon barked at Wonyoung at the top of her lungs, she and the other girls began quickening their pace on the modified treadmills. Although they had heavier weights strapped to their bodies than what Wonyoung had on, they seemed to be having an easier time than her doing the sprinting exercises.

“Just because you’re an energy type, doesn’t mean you can neglect cardio,” Yuri grunted as she pushed herself to run faster, outpacing Wonyoung easily on her own machine. Gripping the sides of it, she yelled and ran at top speed. “Before you can master … your powers! You need to … master … your body!”

Wonyoung swallowed her pride and didn’t push herself just yet, wishing this would all end, regretting not taking physicals with Yujin seriously. But when Eunbi noticed it and gave her a serious look, she picked up the pace again and focused on keeping it together.

Shatter.

“Again please.”

Wonyoung fired a volley of carefully shot bullets of pink energy at the flock of training dummies coming her way, making sure she only hit the red targets and not the blue ones. Once she finished another set of ten continuous waves, she crumpled onto one knee and wiped the sweat off her forehead. “Done … done!”

But Minju shook her head. “You missed a few, Wonyoung. Over there—.”

“What?” she interjected in disbelief, feeling rather exasperated as she stood up and scanned the training dummies. “Which one did I … oh.”

“You missed about five of them, sorry. Eunbi-unnie said to have you repeat it until you can score a total of ninety minimum on three consecutive runs.”

“Ninety … three times?” she muttered, shaking her head as she cracked her knuckles. “Again please, Minju. I’ll get it right this time.

Minju did as she was requested to and loaded up the training machine. And just like that, Wonyoung took a deep breath and began firing faster volleys of her energy right at the dummies, wanting to get this over with rapidly.

Sure enough, she managed to finish a minute faster. As she stretched her arms up, feeling the stinging and burning sensation from her fingertips, she craned her neck towards Minju. “How was it? How did I do this time?”

Pursing her lips, Minju gestured to the monitor above them to show her some of her results. “Wonyoung, um … you weren’t as careful, so you … a-accidentally shot four civilians—.”

“Civs? Four civs? No way,” Wonyoung contested confidently. There was no way she could have made that mistake—not her. 

Not her. 

She always aced these types of target practice exams back in school, and she refused to believe she was performing poorer now. But as she looked through the dummies that were laid out before them like bowling pins, she spotted at least two blue ones that were singed and still smoking. “Oh … oh I see …”

Minju approached her and patted her on the back. “Let’s work on your form a bit more. It’s not enough to just be strong. You need to have more control too, Wonyoung.”

Glancing to the side, Wonyoung hid her watery eyes and nodded, snorting as she began filling with rage and dissatisfaction.

“Again please. Again. Again!”

Shatter.

“Nyahaha~! Can’t catch me, little hero~!”

As the feline villain nimbly escaped Wonyoung’s pursuit, he hopped on top of a truck before leaping towards the nearby condominium and began climbing up the wall, narrowly dodging a few of Wonyoung’s blasts.

As Wonyoung steadied her aim like she did during practice, she tried her best to shoot him down, but every time she’d launch a blast of energy, it was almost as if he could sense it, dodging out of the way in the nick of time.

Frustrated to no end, Wonyoung blasted two heavy pulses of energy into the ground, shattering some of the sidewalk as she grunted out loud.

“Did you catch the cat boy? We rounded up the fish lady and the parrot man. He’s the only one missing,” Yuri asked as she caught up to Wonyoung. When Wonyoung pointed up at the crawling feline individual in question, she sighed and shook her head. “He’s up there. I can’t get to him. Is Yena-sunbae free? Can she scale up the building real quick?”

Yuri shook her head, rubbing her elbows as she got lost in thought. “Can’t. She’s busy on civilian duty. Might take a while. We can’t let him escape, Wonyoung. He’s the one with the most jewelry on him. The shop we promised to help out won’t be happy about this.”

Rubbing her nape, Wonyoung was out of ideas. “Can you get up there somehow? I can spot you if you can.”

Shrugging, Yuri bit her lip. “If I could, I already would have, wouldn’t I? What part of my powers of mimicry makes you think I can fly?”

Grunting, Wonyoung crossed her arms. “I … I … can’t you copy a hero who can fly?”

“Point me to them. Be my guest. I don’t see any right now.”

If only Gaeul were here, Wonyoung thought, desperately wishing her girlfriend could bail her out of this one. If the last three months of training under Enozi Enterprises has taught her anything, it’s how inadequate she was at being a hero on her own. She hadn’t realized til now that she was far more incompetent than she thought she was. Everyone had been praising her, complimenting her work and efforts, even if all she put in was a paltry amount. She was so accustomed to her average performance being more than enough for their expectations that, now that she was facing the real world for what it was, she was helpless.

She felt useless for once in her life. She felt so useless in front of real licensed heroes.

Was she a fraud? Was this dream of hers to be the top hero one big lie she’s been convincing herself to believe?

“Ya, if you’re done daydreaming, he’s getting away! Quick, we need to do something—it’s now or nothing!” Yuri yelled as he was approaching the top of the condominium, where a helicopter hovered nearby, awaiting his escape. Wonyoung wanted to shoot down the chopper, but that hasty decision could leave several more injured or even killed.

Think … think … think!

The moment I even feel happy or ‘weightless’, before I know it, I’m just flying.

I’m just flying.

“Weightless, weightless,” Wonyoung muttered to herself as she examined the structure of the building, noting the blast marks she’d have to apologize for along the surface of its front side. “Weightless, weightless … how can I …?”

As she shifted her gaze downwards, at her own two feet, she spotted a leaf falling down onto the ground, landing gently onto her toes.

It was then that she came up with a bizarre idea.

“Yuri, grab my hand,” she demanded, keeping her eyes on the cat-like criminal, who was just a few floors off from freedom. “Do you trust me?”

Yuri shook her head. “Hell no! What are you even going to—AHHH!”

Wonyoung clutched Yuri’s arm and pulled her towards her side. Closing her eyes, she shot powerful blasts of energy with her free hand but directed them downwards. She ended up launching Yuri and herself towards the opposite direction as they lifted into the air.

“Are you insane? If I end up dying because of you, I will shoot you—STOP! STOP STOP STOP!”

Another blast. Then another. And another.

Wonyoung kept blasting the ground beneath them, making medium-sized holes into the asphalt as they got thrown around like a bunch of ragdolls. She struggled to find her momentum. She found it difficult to balance herself along with Yuri. Hell—she wasn’t even sure if it would work. But as she kept blasting at the ground beneath them, trying to silence a screaming Yuri, she remembered Gaeul’s words.

Weightless. Flying.

Flying.

The idea clicked in her head. Instead of blasting the ground, she instead accepted the free fall. As Yuri grappled Wonyoung, threatening to land on top of her, Wonyoung opened her eyes and shot them up at the sky.

Flying.

“Flying!”

At the last second, just before she could hit the ground and break her back, Wonyoung encased herself in a pure pink energy. She remembered the flood. She remembered the bus. If she could cancel out kinetic energy with her own energy, then she should be able to negate gravitational energy with her energy as well.

And it worked.

Soon, Yuri was laying on top of her like a surfer on a board as Wonyoung remained motionless two feet above the ground. Gasping, Yuri widened her eyes and tapped Wonyoung’s stomach. “You … what did you do? What are you doing?”

“Flying. Now come with me!”

Pushing Yuri off of her, trusting she would use her mimicry to copy her newfound abilities, she pushed one hand forwards and soared into the sky, leaving behind a faint trail of pink behind her.

“Nyahaha! Those amateurs. No one can ever catch the mighty—NYEOW!”

Wonyoung swiped the bandit mid-jump, bringing him higher up into the sky by his collar before dropping him down at the highest altitude she could muster. Just as he was about to spiral downwards like a crashing plane, she zoomed faster and knocked into him, accelerating his fall until she changed directions at the last second and used the sudden jolt to knock him unconscious.

Yuri followed close by and caught him in midair, carrying his unconscious body towards the police vans nearby. “Not bad, kiddo, not bad.”

Wonyoung chuckled and saluted her before using her new skill to fly back home.

Shatter.

Laying in bed, muscles all sore, Wonyoung put her feet up atop her unwashed clothes at the opposite end of her bed and sighed, leaning to one side.

Unnie can fly now! How cool is that?!?

Can you pick me and Liz up at a party this weekend? Since you can fly and stuff xoxo come along.

You better not be using your new skill to cheat physicals! >.<

Chuckling as she scrolled through and checked each of the messages from the 1-VE girls, she appreciated the sentiments of support from her squad. Wincing from the pain in one shoulder, Wonyoung curled up a bit and tapped her message history with Gaeul.

Someone took a few pages out of my book. Doing great baby <3

Miss you. They miss you, I mean. Maybe me too.

Hope you’re ok.

Blushing, Wonyoung began typing in a response, but as soon as she did, Gaeul must have seen it too as she rang her up immediately. 

Glancing about her and making sure her door was locked, she accepted the call and placed her phone on the floor. There, a projection of Gaeul’s face appeared eye-level with her. “Hello? Is this thing on? Hello~?”

Wonyoung chuckled and waved at her. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

Silence filled the room for a moment before Gaeul decided to break the ice. “So, you’ve been busy, haven’t you? You rarely drop by for training together, and your classmates said they barely even see you in class anymore.”

Sighing, Wonyoung nodded as she inched closer to her pillow. “Enozi’s really strict with everything. They make me submit my tasks and homeworks and whatever to school on a daily basis and won’t let me train with them until I finish everything. There’s always something to do everyday, so I’m always kept on my toes, and … it’s so …”

“It sounds like you’re having fun.”

Gaeul smiled at her through the hologram, tucking her hair back a little. “I always have to search up what you’re doing there at Enozi since a certain someone doesn’t like giving life updates. But it seems fun, baby. You like being active too.”

“Do I?” Wonyoung teased, shaking her head as she tried to hide her face a bit. “I take it back now. I don’t think I like being too active—not as active as them, at least.”

“It’s high time you got a taste of your own medicine. I wonder when Yujin will get a taste of hers with her ‘grind-set’,” Gaeul mocked, trying to imitate Yujin and her scolding. “She puts us all to work and we’re just alright, so I bet you and your Enozi friends are doing something right if you work that hard and make it farther than we ever did.”

Wonyoung pouted a little. “Don’t say it like that …”

“It’s true though. You’ve fitted right in with them so easily, it must have been easier to leave us hanging right?”

Wonyoung knew Gaeul was just making fun of her for not returning texts and calls as fast, but deep down, she was scathed by her words. She could sense there was a double meaning to them. “I miss you too, baby … You know that right?”

Gaeul shrugged. “Do I?”

Wonyoung pushed her head up and rested it on one hand as she looked Gaeul in the eyes through her projection. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Well, there are many ways you can do that—buy me food, get me a nice birthday gift, or, maybe, you can come along with us to a party,” Gaeul suggested, referring to what Rei had told Wonyoung earlier. “We’ll be sneaking in with Rei and Liz. They said they’re down. Do you want to come along? It’s tonight, so we can all meet somewhere beforehand to walk there together and stuff.”

“It’s tonight? I thought it was … oh right,” she muttered, realizing how fast the days and weeks have flown by. “Well, it’s not that I don’t want to … I just … I just need—.”

An alarm suddenly blared throughout her room as flashes of red light blinded her.

The door to her room opened abruptly as the emergency systems kicked in. There, Eunbi stood by the entrance, pulling her gloves on. “We have a Rank Gamma—explosions in Gangnam. Terrorists. We’re moving out, but I’ve decided to bring you along if you’d like to. It’s rare to get a Gamma situation like this. How about it?”

Feeling her heart break, she swapped between Eunbi and the holographic image of Gaeul, trying to decide on what to do. But before she could make up her mind, Gaeul swatted a hand at her and turned around. “Just go. Have fun.”

“Gaeul, wait—!”

Her phone blipped close as the call ended.

“Was I interrupting something?” Eunbi asked nonchalantly, zipping her outfit up to her chin. “You can get back to that call later. Don’t let these little things hold you back. There will always be time for fun once you’re a pro—trust me. What matters now—the most difficult part of it all—is getting there. Earning it.”

“So are you in or what, Wonyoung?” she demanded, tapping her foot against the floor.

Hiding her tears as she stared at her bed, she nodded faintly. Eunbi took this as a yes and left her door open. “Head to the lobby in two minutes. Get a move on.”

Sliding off her bed slowly, Wonyoung knelt by her phone and began sobbing.

Shatter.

“FEAR. ME.”

As the large armored sentinel blasted a burst of flames along its path, incinerating individuals and blowing up cars on the spot, it used its other hand to channel electricity and blast rays at nearby power sources, overloading them.

Chaeyeon got pinned to one of the buildings by one of its arms, struggling to break free, Eunbi was doing her best to evacuate the nearby civilians. Yena zipped to the top of the sentinel and began banging on its head, but it easily flicked her off and sent her flying.

Minju and Yuri were both trying to lessen the collateral damage as Yuri mimicked Minju’s ability to create force fields, erecting barriers around the sentinel to stop it from hurting more people.

Wonyoung cracked her knuckles and began darting towards the towering sentinel.

“Wonyoung? Wonyoung, don’t—!”

But Eunbi’s warnings were too late. Wonyoung had already charged forwards, and before she knew it, she was flattened by its foot. 

At least, that would have happened if she didn’t copy Minju’s style and spun an energy barrier around her in a protective dome. Once the sentinel grew annoyed and started stomping on her, at the right moment, she dropped the barrier and instead flew straight into its underside.

Clink. Clank. Clunk. BOOM!

In one fell swoop, Wonyoung blasted through its core and shot out of its head with her pink energy surrounding her. Once she made a big enough opening, she continued blasting its circuitry to deactivate it.

Watching as it froze and fell onto its front side, Wonyoung raised her hands at the cheering civilians as she quickly dispatched a Gamma-level threat.

All by herself.

Shatter.

“We won’t make it in time! The least we can do is help the civilians escape!” Yuri yelled as she joined the others in pursuit of the epicenter of the earthquake. It was getting harder to run as the ground shook and rumbled beneath their feet.

“We need a plan. Boss~?” Yena asked as she turned towards Eunbi, who was struggling to combat the uneven foothold they were trudging on. “I agree with Yuri. Our top priority is to—.”

Wonyoung lifted one hand up, and soon, the other five girls began floating with her.

She didn’t bother to wait for them to get acquainted with the sensation. She brought them along with her like a bunch of toys as she flew as quickly as she could into the site of the earthquake.

“You girls go rescue the civilians. I’ll deal with everything else,” she proposed.

But Eunbi wasn’t having it. “No. You listen to me, Wonyoung. You may be an intern, but I’m still the leader—.”

“Watch out!” Chaeyeon yelled at the top of her lungs as a large building began pancaking on itself and tilted to one side, toppling over into the nearby buildings, threatening to cause a domino effect of destruction.

There was no time to think. Wonyoung dropped the other five and trusted Yuri to float them to safety. She held her hands out in front of her as she faced the building before using everything she had within her to slow the fall of the building down to a stop.

As it slowed down to a halt, causing a few bits of rubble and debris to fall out, she heard the crowd grow wild in the middle of the earthquake as they witnessed a miracle unfold before their very eyes.

Wonyoung pushed her body to the limit and exerted much effort into righting the building. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Eunbi hovering above the street with much disapproval in her eyes.

Shatter.

“Here at the scene of the incident, we’ve received reports that an armed group of robbers staged an attempt to nab the precious gold reserves that were being shipped via armored cars—and, oh? What is this?”

Lifting her hands up to the sky, Wonyoung forced the people within the building to come crashing out through the windows. Civilians, innocents, criminals, and accomplices alike all bursted through the glass and assembled onto the parking lot in front of the building, assembled like dolls floating a few feet in the air.

Weeding out the suspicious ones from the innocents, Wonyoung let the latter go as they fell onto their feet and began fleeing for their lives. Meanwhile, Wonyoung tightened her grip on the group of suspects as she slammed them all into each other with just a thought.

“It seems like one of the heroes is on the case! Let’s ask her a few questions. Miss, miss? Miss over here!”

Waving a hand at the camera, Wonyoung tossed her hair back elegantly and smiled. “Hello, ma’am~. How can I help you?”

“Could you tell us what happened just now? With the attempted robbery? Could you share a few words on what transpired?” the reporter asked as she handed the microphone over to Wonyoung, who gladly received it and smiled wider.

“Honestly, I just got here. Haha~. My team and I were just on the way when we heard about a few misfits messing around at the bank. I just acted instinctively and brought out the civilians along with the criminals and separated them from each other to save some time.”

“How efficient! What hero agency do you work for?”

“I don’t work for anyone yet as I’m still in my academy training, but I do intern for Enozi Enterprises. And look, there they are arriving just now~!”

Before Eunbi could stomp her way towards Wonyoung, Wonyoung simply concluded the interview with her signature outro. “The streets are safe with Jang Wonyoung on the case~!”

Shatter.

Slammed against her wall, Wonyoung merely grunted as Eunbi glared at her. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked back, shoving off her superior’s grip, standing taller against her frame. “Is there a problem with me?”

“Tch, you got cocky. You got some new skills. And now, you think you can walk all over us—after all we’ve done for you too.”

Wonyoung shrugged. “I’m not walking over anyone, ‘sunbae’, I’m just doing what you told me to. I stopped holding back. I’m being the best hero that I can be. But if you feel like you can’t keep up with me, your intern, then that’s not my fault, is it?”

Eunbi formed an illusory dagger in her hand and raised it against Wonyoung’s neck. “You. Watch yourself. You’ll eventually face a situation you can’t solve by yourself. And when that day comes, you’ll find yourself begging for help from us.”

Rolling her eyes, Wonyoung nodded, giving Eunbi the approval she sought for, allowing the older woman to back off of her and leave her room.

“The bigger you are, they say,” Wonyoung muttered proudly to herself.

“The more of a bitch they become, I believe.”

Wonyoung readied her energy within her fist as she heard the voice, but calmed down the moment she saw who it was. “Oh, it’s just you. Hello.”

“Just me?” Gaeul repeated in disbelief, chuckling to herself as she shook her head. “Wow, my bad for interrupting your rest, ‘your highness’.”

As she mimicked an exaggerated bow, she lifted herself through the now opened window. “What’s gotten into you, Wonyoung? Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“Arrogant. Proud. More violent. I don’t know,” Gaeul listed, pondering to herself as she looked Wonyoung in the eyes. “This isn’t like you. This whole hero business is getting to your head.”

“Is it now? Wonyoung challenged, wrapping her hands up in bandages to help them cool off from their overuse. “I could have sworn you were the one who was constantly egging me on to do more, to do better, to push higher. What happened to that?”

“Not like this, Wonyoung,” Gaeul muttered, shaking her head as she landed back on her feet. “You know what I mean. Not like this at all.”

“Then how do you want me to be? Do you want me to just take the beating and listen to our sunbae and unnies even if they’re less capable than us? Am I supposed to just snuff my flame out for them because they can’t hold a candle to what I can do now? Am I supposed to just—?”

Slap.

Holding her palm steady in the air, Gaeul retreated her hand before turning her back to Wonyoung. “You’ve changed. So much. I don’t … I don’t even know what’s up with you anymore, Wonyoung. This isn’t you at all … I want to believe you … but when you speak to me like that, I …”

Boom.

A loud blast of sound bursted through the building, shattering the windows, shaking its entire structure.

Wonyoung held onto Gaeul and shielded her briefly, not letting their little dispute get into the way of her safety. Once things have calmed down, Wonyoung lifted her up onto her feet again and caressed her face. “Are you alright? That was loud—.”

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Repeatedly, burst after brust of what appeared to be loud thunder sent the whole building rumbling. Wonyoung had to focus on her strength to shield both Gaeul and herself from the impact of each wave.

“What the … what’s going on?” Gaeul asked as she struggled to stand up, body still feeling weak from the strong reverberations.

Wonyoung jogged up to her shattered window and pushed some of the glass shards aside to see what was happening outside.

And she saw it all. She saw it all unfold before her.

It looked too biblical. It looked so unreal. But as the sky darkened, the chittering and chattering noises of those that came through the countless portals in the heavens deafened Wonyoung in an instant. As the flock broke apart, she saw each and every individual creature come flying out of the portals, heading right for the city of Seoul.

Bugs. Insects.

A whole plague came descending like a swarm.

Wonyoung sounded the alarms. She rushed back inside and pressed the emergency button underneath her desk. She held Gaeul’s hand and dragged her to the door. “We need to go. Now!”

“Wonyoung, what is it? At least tell me what’s going on!”

“There’s no time to explain, it’s an emergency,” she insisted, yanking Gaeul through the corridor. “Bugs, Gaeul. Some kind of … space bugs. There were many of them. So many of them. And they were large. Very—.”

What should have been Chaeyeon’s room was now a large hole in the side of the building as four to five of these large beetle-like bugs ripped it apart. Chaeyeon, who was still dressing up, screamed out loud as she got nabbed by their pincers and got snapped in half before them.

Gaeul screamed.

This alerted the bugs to their position. Before Wonyoung could even tell her to run, one of the bugs darted for her and swiped her in its mandibles.

“No … Gaeul!”

Thankfully, her girlfriend was just caught up in its sharp edges, not like poor Chaeyeon. But as Wonyoung blasted at her girlfriend’s captors, she watched in pain as the energy blasts just bounced off of their thick chitinous exoskeletons.

“Oh no …”

Unable to do anything, all she could do was witness those bugs take Gaeul away from her as they soared back into the skies.

Through the hole in the building, Wonyoung witnessed this happen all throughout the city.

These insects that just descended from the sky portals appeared out of nowhere—they were all over the place. Destroying property, wreaking havoc, eating people alive, and sometimes, just like what happened to Gaeul, decided to take living creatures with them to god knows where.

Wonyoung feared for her lover’s safety, but at the same time, she feared for the safety of everyone else.

“Threat Level Omega! Threat Level Omega! All heroes—licensed or not—please head to the nearest—AHHH!”

Before the announcer on the PA could even finish, she was overcome by the sounds of crunching and ripping as her gruesome death got broadcasted all over the city. Wonyoung shook it off and focused, keeping her eyes trained on the insect that took Gaeul.

She ran through Chaeyeon’s broken room and flew off into the distance to chase after it—to chase after her.

But everywhere beneath her, everywhere that the sky touched along the horizon, there was nothing but ruin.

Heroes of all shapes and sizes were combatting the forces of the swarm on the ground, defending the civilians with their lives. Different powers from different places of origin gathered together and teamed up to protect their shared home—their shared planet—as the swarming beetles descended again and again endlessly from above.

She watched as some of them got decapitated, dragged half-dead across the streets, or worse, consumed in one go by these monstrosities.

Wonyoung feared for the worst for Gaeul’s safety.

Soaring faster, she received a notification on her communicator mid-flight. It was Eunbi.

“—young, report. Where are—bzzt—need you! Too many of them—.”

Wonyoung ignored it and rose into the skies, higher and higher, trailing after the bugs.

Some of them spotted her trying to infiltrate their ranks and began diving towards her. She didn’t let them get near her at all. Wonyoung channeled her inner rage and blasted every single one of them out of the sky. She bore powerful concentrated holes into their chitin, blasting right through to their brains—if they ever had any—and sent them falling back down to earth.

Hammering down into one of them with her powered fist, Wonyoung then hurled a thousand daggers of pink energy into another that was trying to swoop at her. As much as she was able to hold them off one by one, she soon found herself being overwhelmed by their sheer multitude and amount.

“No,” she muttered as she saw Gaeul’s pleading face disappear behind a wall of bugs.

“No …”

“—Wonyoung? Wonyoung! Get back down here! We—bzzt—more important! We need you!”

“No!”

As the swarm drowned out the light, Wonyoung closed her eyes. She could already feel their pincers, mandibles, and claws trying to penetrate her force field and pierce into her skin. And in that single instance, she had a choice to make.

Wonyoung ah, promise me you’ll do your best just like eomma and appa.

“I tried … you know I tried so hard just to get here …”

Even when we’re gone, we want you to be happy. We want you to shine.

“You know I can’t be happy without you … this … this was all for you … no one else … just you …”

So shine.

“I can’t … it’s hard … I can’t … I can’t …”

Shine like you were meant to, Wonyoung. In the darkest days, and in the coldest nights.

Shine.

Taking a deep breath, Wonyoung encased herself in pure energy, whole body trembling as tears began to fill her eyes, muttering to herself. “I. Will. Shine.”

“I …”

She grabbed the locket from around her neck and snapped the cover off.

“Will …”

She grasped it firmly in her hands and crushed the glass casing that protected the last image she ever had with her family.

“Shine!”

Boom.

As the shards of glass got illuminated by her pink energy, the fractals shattered them even further into a million pieces, each fragment acting as a conduit for her power. As she channeled every last ounce of her being that she had left into her fingertips, she surged it forwards and let it radiate all around her through the glass.

Like a crystal. Like a gem.

Shining. Sparkling. Dazzling.

BOOM.

Millions of powerful pink beams erupted from her chest, incinerating the swarming creatures in an instant and reducing them to ash. Many of these beams blasted into the portals that they were entering through, destabilizing them and causing them to collapse into themselves.

As Wonyoung took one last look at the heavens, seeing nothing but those damned insects falling from the sky, she smiled and reached out.

Eomma … appa … did I do it?

Did I make you proud …?

Did I finally … get to … shine …?

With a loud thud, all that existed and all that ever came to be was the darkness that encased Wonyoung as she got knocked out cold.

Shatter.

When Wonyoung closed her eyes, she could still see and hear everything.

The awards, The news coverage. The recognition. Everything. All of it.

But she couldn’t stop the other thoughts from flooding in as well.

The screams. The begging. The cries for help. The bloodshed. Their lifeless bodies. Their desecrated expressions. Their lost dignity.

But none of that mattered now.

Now? She was the hero of the century. The one who managed to single-handedly stop what people now called ‘The Swarm’ from invading Korea.

She saved lives—many of them. And although some of her allies passed away and perished during the fight, she found comfort in knowing she did the right thing. It was a necessary sacrifice. She couldn’t have done it any other way, right?

Right?

That was ten years ago. And now, she was relaxing in the penthouse suite of her own agency building, overlooking the best view of Seoul, holding a glass of fine champagne in her hand.

This was the life. She was living the life. The life of a top hero. She should be happy, right? Anyone who ever got the chance to be in her position would have felt the same way, right?

Right?

But as she lifted the glass to her quivering mouth, tears streaking down her face, all she could taste was Gaeul’s lips against hers.

A taste that ceased to exist ten years ago.

This is what I wanted … to be the best …

This is what I fought so hard for … right? To be on top …? And now, I’m here … why …?

Why does it feel so lonely up here … all by myself …?

=====