#couplez

She’s not even a good rapper. Why did they give her that position?

No? I’m fond of rap music, and I like writing lyrics too. What do you mean?

“That’s why you’ll never beat me by a mile—// You’re out of style! // Run back to your grandma and only come back once you’re finally worthwhile // Word!”

As the crowd huddled around the two performers burst into cheers, pumping their fists in the air, patting backs either in consolation or in congratulations, applauding both of the rappers for their lines, the host swooped back in to the center of the ring and lifted his hands in the air.

“Straight fire coming from our two MC’s tonight. Let’s give it to ‘em!” he exclaimed, pointing his mic at the people around him. “That’s what I’m talking about. Now now, I know this week’s cypher is coming to a close, but, like we always do, we’re opening up the floor to any impromptu MC’s who want to spit a few bars and get some lyrical limerence out of them. You feel?”

Clapping his hands thrice, he roared into the microphone. “Which brave soul will be stepping forward as this week’s tribute, ha? Which of you rhythm rebels is gonna step up and flex a little on stage? You don’t need to be fancy with your lyrics and scripted shit—none of that, none of that. All you need is some confidence, some flow, and a whole lot of spunk to show for yourself. Alright?”

Amidst the ruckus and noise, a single hand raised up through the babbling crowd.

There, a pigtailed girl in a yellow windbreaker stood proud with a big smile as she lowered her hand. The other rappers around her made way to allow her to step forward and head underneath the flickering spotlight that beamed down on them against the back alley wall. Tugging on the straps of her backpack, she clasped her hands together and bowed politely at the host before bowing politely once more for the crowd.

“Oh my,” the host muttered faintly. “Oh my—hold up! It seems we have an … interesting challenger tonight. Um, you … little lady, what’s your name, and what’s your deal?”

The whole alley fell silent as every single member of the audience turned their attention to her. Without missing a beat, she leaned into the host’s microphone and tapped it once before speaking, “Hello everyone. I’m Naoi Rei, and it’s a pleasure to be with you here tonight. I’m going to perform a cover of a song—an English song. I hope that’s ok?”

“A cover?” the host repeated, wiping his top lip with his other thumb. “Damn, we have a baby monster right here, don’t we fellas? How about we show her some love and hype her up before her performance. Put those hands to work, fools!”

As the host handed her his microphone and ducked back into the crowd, the audience gave her a soft round of applause. Rei was expecting that much. She’s been going to these little hidden cyphers around the city every now and then, but it wasn’t until tonight that she mustered the courage to actually perform and participate in one of them. Until now, she had been invisible, unknown, unheard of. But tonight—tonight was her chance to start making a name for herself.

Once the applause died down, she took a deep breath and whispered, “I went to the moped store and said, ‘Fuck it’ Salesman’s like ‘What’s up, what’s your budget?’

I’m like, ‘Honestly, I don’t know nothing about mopeds’ He said ‘I got the one for you, follow me—“ The crowd got into a steady beat of nods and claps, feeling the rhythm, feeling the rhyme, with a few of them recognizing the song. Rei gained a bit more confidence and pumped her hand in the air to the beat, raising her voice. “Ooh~! It’s too real! Chromed out mirror, I don’t need no windshield! Banana seat, a canopy on two wheels Eight hundred, cash? That’s a hell of a deal! I’m headed~?”

When she pointed her microphone to the crowd, they all replied jubilantly. “DOWNTOWN!” Biting her lip, she continued. Rei enunciated each rehearsed word clearly, running through each line with silky smooth diction. “Now I’m—killing the game, about to catch a body Passed the Harley, Dukie on the Ducati Timbaland, Khaled, Scott Storch, Birdman—

Godamn, man! Everybody got Bugattis! But I’mma keep it hella nineteen-eighty-seven Head into the dealership and //

Drop a stack and cop a Kawasaki— I’m stunting on everybody, hella raw pass the Wasabi // You’re so low—your scrotum’s almost dragging up on the concrete! My seat is leather, alright? Nah, I’m lying it’s pleather But girl, we could still ride together, yeah? You don’t need an Uber, you don’t need a cab— Fuck a bus pass you got a moped man!” As Rei finished off the rap with the chorus and the remaining few verses, the hotblooded youngster cleanly capped off her first performance with a small bow, receiving a storm of applause for such a fresh and energetic display of skill.

The host ruffled her hair playfully and pulled her in for an embrace from the side. “Give it up for this little lady, Naoi Rei! Show an MC some respect, motherfuckers!” As Rei took in the sight of the crowd she managed to riled up with all her hard work and practice, she couldn’t help but beam at them. 

So this is what it feels like, huh? Being able to perform in front of others.

God, it feels so good! Once the cypher came to a close with the host announcing the date and location for the next event, Rei immediately keyed in her experience into the journal app on her phone before pressing the screen to her chest and sighing in bliss. She was startled by a few passing people who greeted her and commended her for her performance, bowing politely as they left. But apart from that, she was feeling great. Rei walked home with an evident skip in her step.

“Yo.”

Just as she rounded the corner at the end of the street, an old man dressed in weathered clothing waved her down and stopped her in her tracks. “Nice performance back there. Real smooth. Didn’t know a girl could curse like that.”

Rei smiled awkwardly at him. He didn’t seem suspicious, but she strutted away a bit faster as she darted past him.

“Do you write?”

Rei came to a stop at the edge of the other side of the pedestrian crossing. Glancing behind her, she beckoned, “Write? Like, write lyrics?”

The man nodded, leaning against the post next to him. It was close to midnight by now. Most of the streets were devoid of any remaining nightlife—typical around Aichi. Although they were separated by a few meters, she could still hear his hoarse voice calling out to her.

“Have you ever written lyrics before—for your songs. For your rap. I’d like to hear it one day.”

Fixing the strap of her backpack as she bought herself some time to think of a response, Rei stood their in silence. The man chuckled faintly and shook his head. “Not much for witty remarks, eh, kiddo? That’s something you’ll need to work on—‘clapping back’, as you kids call it. Helpful in these little cyphers. Helpful in making diss tracks.”

“Who … are you, ojii-san? Are you one of the members of—?”

He swatted a hand at her, still remaining on his side of the road, glancing up at the moths fluttering around the light above him. “I’m just an old man whose ramblings you don’t need to listen to. You can go on ahead and head back home. Stay safe.”

“But,” he continued. “If you want to make the most out of your youth, trying picking it up yourself and writing your own lyrics. Lyrics that come from you.”

“My own lyrics?” Rei repeated. The idea seemed foreign to her, but she would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought of that before.

“Yeah, your own lyrics. You have a knack for performing, but you’re just expressing the sentiments of other rappers. I’d like to see you one day express yourself. Performing with your own lyrics, you know?”

This man … who does he think he even is?

“Tch, what do you even know about rapping?” Rei muttered, shaking her head.

“A thing or two,” he replied with a gentle smile. “What about you? What do you know about rapping?”

Rei parted her lips to speak, but when nothing came out, she felt the blood rush to her face.

Not much for witty remarks, eh, kiddo?

As silence filled in the gap between the two of them, all Rei could hear was the fluttering of moths and the sound of her own pounding heart.

Shatter.

Where should I even begin?

As the warmth of her stagnant tea wafted over towards the back of her drumming fingers, Rei sighed. Balancing a pencil beneath her nose, she leaned back into her chair and stared at the ceiling.

“Write lyrics, huh …” she muttered, tapping her fingers against her desk. Straightening her posture, she urged herself to look back down at the sheets of paper before her, forcing herself to confront it.

But they were blank. All blank.

She tapped her phone. It was already eight-twenty-three. She started her first attempt at writing at exactly eight in the evening. It’s been half an hour now. There wasn’t even a single scribble or doodle. 

Nothing.

Hunching forward and pressing her forehead against her materials, she groaned to herself. “Where do I even start with this? Should I get inspiration? But won’t that be like stealing from them? Shouldn’t my ideas come from myself?”

Pondering for a moment, she shook her head. “No, inspiration’s inspiration.”

She flicked her finger upwards and shuffled one of her playlists. It was filled with tracks from Lee Hi and Jay Park to name a few, a healthy mix of other artists and songs with differing vibes. Once she was done listening to about half of them, she shuffled another playlist she had made. This one was more of a mood check—to get into the feeling and flow of what kind of song she wanted to write lyrics for.

She was feeling more upbeat and cheerful—Rei thought this was to way to go. It felt so much like her.

It felt right.

Although she didn’t get a flash of inspiration, Rei managed to come up with a few ideas by writing down a few lines she liked from different songs and paraphrasing them here and there. She didn’t have a cohesive narrative or ‘story’ to her lyrics yet, but at least she was able to nail down a bit more of the tone and general direction.

Thumping her feet against the floor, she closed her eyes. Rei listened to each beat of her feet and tried to alter the tempo. 

Quicker. Quicker. Then, a bit slower. 

She adjusted the beat to fit the rhythm she wanted the lyrics to go off of. She felt it was important to be guided by the rhythm—to figure out how to break down the lines as she spoke them out or performed them. It was one thing to write a patchwork rap, and it was a completely separate thing figuring out how to enunciate each lyric.

Poking the eraser head against her temple, she urged herself to think, to squeeze out every last bit of creative juice from her mind. She exerted what little she had left onto the sheets and tried to make something out of it. Like molding clay, Rei sculpted the spinning mess of words, phrases, and idioms that she had written down and did her best to transform them into a work of art.

At least, what she deemed to be a work of art.

After hours of incessant pacing around her small room, repeating the lines out loud to herself, screaming when she couldn’t find good rhymes to words like ‘chaos’, ‘music’, and ‘circle’, Rei finally crashed face first into her bed.

Groaning, she rolled onto her back. The lyrics she had written stared back at her.

They were charred, crumpled, torn apart, hastily stuffed together, and battered by her heavy self-criticism, but above all else, they were loved by none other than Rei herself. They weren’t perfect. They weren’t exactly the best she could have come up with. But to her, they were hers.

And that’s what mattered.

Shatter.

“Listen up and gather around once again, fools! It’s time for our final display of proverbial prowess for the night!”

A mixture of hollers and growls filled the dimly lit basketball court they all gathered within for the evening, filling the chilly night’s atmosphere with warm excitement and anticipation. Once the host managed to get a hold of his people once again, he cleared his throat and glanced all around him.

“Tonight we have a special performance from one of our young MC’s,” he announced, nodding and lifting his chin as if to boast. “You may have heard of her already. You might have  remembered her from before. You might have even WISHED for her to return. Well, look no further, for she has returned. And she’s back with some. Motherfucking. Verses!”

The crowds roared with a renewed energy.

This excited Rei a little bit, but it also made her blood curdle.

I’ve got this. I’ve got this. I … did I memorize my lines properly? What was the intro again?

She glanced downwards. Rei knew her lyrics were stuffed into her right pocket, but her hands were shaking too much for her to pull them out.

Wait … I don’t think I can do this. Maybe not now. Maybe not tonight. Next time? Is there still a next time? Maybe I can practice some more before stepping up. I need the practice, right?

Right?

But as soon as the host introduced her and called her onto the center of the court, Rei knew there was no turning back now. Tonight was the night she would become a true performer—a true rapper.

Using her own words.

The crowd gathered around her but kept their distance. The spotlight shone down on her, blinding her for a brief moment. 

Was it always this bright being under the spotlight? Was it always this … frightening to be on stage like this?

Did it always feel this way in here?

The host noticed Rei’s hesitation and signaled to her. “Anytime, little lady. Whenever you’re ready.”

Whenever you’re ready.

But … will I ever be?

It was now or never. Gripping the microphone in her shaky hand, she slammed the side of her clenched fist against her hip several times to shake it off and steel her nerves. Once she took a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes briefly before muttering to herself.

“This is it. Show them what you’ve got.”

And when she opened her eyes again, all that she could hear was the sound of her own voice as she laid down the bars she had written all by herself.

“I keep my ideals sorezore no tenmei wo~! What’s going through!” Raising her hands in the air, beckoning for the crowd to cheer, she earned a light applause for her gutsy intro, which bolstered her to power through her performance.

“Subete wa mi kara deta sabi // haburi yoku fuyashita kurorekishi Arei to arayuru mono wo sutetari // mi ni oboe no nai unmei ni Korosarekaketa koto mo atta shi // shinde me wo shite ikita jiki

Soredemo kyou mo ikasareteru tte koto wa~!”

She pointed a finger gun to her head, tapping it twice, before pointing that same hand to the crowd.

“What’s going on? Mada sou // yarinokoshiten darou Shuusei no shiyou no nai hibi no naka demo~! What’s going on? Hito to wa // chigau to mitometa ue de~

Kanousei no rutsubo hiraku! Ah~!”

Rei felt it. 

Rei felt it in her bones, in every tendon and muscle, in every breath, in every blink, in every pulse, in ever fiber of her being.

Between the creak of each joint, the flex of each muscle, the drag in each breath—Rei felt it. She felt it.

She felt how she was destined for this. How she was made for this.

How she was made to rap.

With a surge of energy, as she uttered out her last line as powerfully as she could, raising her microphone in the air like a rockstar, she panted a bit, struggling to catch her breath. As she smudged the back of her gloved hand against her forehead, she glanced at the crowd with an anticipatory smile.

But all she heard was laughter,

“What were those lines? Aren’t they kinda cringey?”

“They sound a little … off. It didn’t feel natural—not coming from her.”

“Sounds to me like she was just screaming into the mic. Had to cover my ears a bit.”

Backing away from the crowd, Rei shivered as she held the microphone to her chest. Everywhere she looked, the members of the audience were staring back at her.

Paralyzed in fear, Rei muttered. “Wh-what … what … I thought … I-I thought …?”

I thought it was good. I thought my lines were good.

I thought I was good …

Sensing the shift in mood, the host grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to the side, away from the circling mob. He dragged her all the way outside of the fences surrounding the basketball court. Once they were a safe distance away, he let go of Rei and dusted her off.

“Look, kid, you weren’t that bad out there, not bad for a first time—that was your first time, right?” the host asked, turning her face towards him. He gasped as soon as he saw the tears streaming down her face. “Oh god, oh no … um, look, there’s no easy way to say this, but keep at it, ok? Crowd’s always going to be tough on you—but that’s a good thing, yeah? Go work on your lines again, refine them bars, and … I don’t know, try to get better.”

Patting her on the shoulder, he bowed towards her briefly before jogging back to the cypher to try and regain control of the situation.

As soon as he turned away, Rei broke into a mad dash.

I can’t believe it … I can’t believe I just did that.

Grunting, she clenched both of her hands into fists and started sprinting down the darkened road. I wasted so much time trying to come up with these … meaningful lyrics, and they just … they just turned out to be trash.

Sniffling, Rei sobbed out loud as she ran, and ran, and ran.

All this time, I’ve been trying so hard to dress like them … to act like them … to be like them … I wanted to feel more confident in myself. I wanted to hear their praise. I just wanted to …

I just wanted to rap like them.

Rei screamed into the night as she smudged the tears off her face.

I shouldn’t even have bothered with this. I should have just stuck to listening to songs. To performing covers. Not … not making my own music.

Panting, she shook her head. I shouldn’t have tried.

I shouldn’t have tried at all.

Just as she was about to cross the street towards the nearest station, an arm reached out for her and stopped her in her tracks.

Just then, the sound of a speeding bus came blaring past as the vehicle nearly ran her ver.

Glancing up at her savior, a toothless grin smiled down at her. “Fancy seeing you here, kiddo.”

She shoved him off.

“You …” she uttered, her words souring against her tongue. “You’re the last person I want to see right now, ojii-san.”

But instead of darting off, Rei just stayed put next to him, staring at the concrete sidewalk between them.

“So you bombed your first performance. Congratulations—I’m impressed.”

“Really?” she uttered, slowly raising her head. “Are you for real right now—I embarrassed myself! You were the one who told me I had what it took to become a good rapper, a-and you filled my head with the stupid delusion that I could make something decent … something good …” 

“This,” she pointed at him with a trembling finger. “This is all YOUR fault—this is all your fault, ojii-san! A-And now … now I can’t … I-I can’t … go back …”

He walked over to her and patted her head. “Congratulations, kiddo.”

Grunting, she swatted his hand off. “What are you even congratulating me for?”

“For bringing yourself into the scene.”

Raising a brow, Rei spat into the gutter and tried to clear some of her snot before returning to him. “What are you even talking about?”

The man sighed, forming fog by his mouth as he spoke. “Congratulations on failing. For failing. You did good because you failed. And you failed because you tried.” “So what? I’m a failure now, I guess? Great for me. Let me hang that on my wall for you, ojii-san.”

He snickered and shook his head. “You’ve gotten more spunk in you—I like that. But you tried, kiddo. You put in the effort, you followed through, you did it. You tried. And that deserves recognition. Because trying is where you begin. If you don’t try, then you don’t become.”

Rolling her eyes at such a pathetic explanation, Rei lifted her scarf up to her chin and crossed her arms. ‘Well I tried it out, and I discovered I sucked at it. Guess it’s time to quit then? It clearly doesn’t seem like it’s meant for me.”

“You’re entitled, that’s your problem,” the old man spat out nonchalantly. She couldn’t believe her ears. But what the man had to say next was what kept her silent and in her place. “You want something, so you think you’re going to get it right away, be good at it right away, yeah? But you see, kiddo, sucking at something is the first step to becoming sort of good at it. Ever seen a baby that could win the Olympics? That could build a skyscraper? That could travel to space?”

“Your point being?”

“My point being—nobody’s born to succeed. You’re never born with the skills you have now: you learned it. You earned it. So learn it. And then, earn it—earn the praise. Earn the recognition. Earn that feeling that you’re yearning for so much.”

Rei pinched her nose and tried to breathe through it again. She wasn’t in the mood to hear anything about rap whatsoever—and she hated how the old man was starting to make sense. “Ok? I guess … I guess I can try again.”

“No, kiddo, you won’t be trying again,” the man interjected, adjusting the fit of his beanie against his head. “You’ll be doing. And I look forward to what you’ll be doing in the months to come. I’ll see you then.”

“Wait! What about … where am I supposed to … what do I …?”

But before Rei could even think of what to ask him, he had already disappeared into the night.

Kicking up the dried and dead leaves around her, Rei squatted down and screamed in frustration, tucking her head into her folded arms.

What am I supposed to do now…?

Shatter.

Rei ripped up her lyrics into shreds, watching as all the decor, design, and diligence she put into her sheets came falling down on her like miserable consolation confetti. As she huffed at herself, pushing some of the strips away, she remembered the advice that old man gave her.

“I guess I need to start somewhere … wouldn’t hurt to take a look at them again … the lyrics …”

Groaning, she immediately regretted her earlier impulsive decision and began hating on herself.

Shatter.

“This is my pride // this is my destiny // I won’t stop ’til I prove my legacy. I won’t stop ’til I prove my legacy … um … I will …. I’m … crap, what—ARGH. I lost the flow!”

Tossing one of her pillows across the room, she ruffled her messy hair before tying it up tightly in a sloppy bun. Scribbling all the words she could think of that rhymed with the last line, she consulted her Japanese thesaurus for some possibilities while having its English counterpart on hand as well for some foreign inspiration.

“You all get the best of me // but won’t see the rest of me // Um … uh … crap … Pick up my crumbs ‘cause that’s all you’ll get—least that’s free …?”

It didn’t sound too right, but it sounded cohesive enough. Instead of striking through it, she decided to keep that one in and think of backups on the side. She continued drafting and drafting, and when she had filled up ten whole pages of sheets with nothing but potential lines and stanzas to mix and match together, she finally settled in for the night and called it there.

Shatter.

“I write proses, don’t grow no roses // That’s what your hoe says—’bout me when she gets doses,” she spat out, mocking the other rapper across from her. “And if y’know, sis // stop them silly poses // and what I propose is? // Mature the fuck up and get some growth, sis!”

The crowd seethed and cooed as they gave Rei mixed reactions to her impromptu lines. She glared at her opponent, who was another girl a few years older than her. While she didn’t come to the cypher in her usual get up today, she couldn’t deny the energy that was building within her.

She could feel herself improving.

But when she got booed as her opponent clapped back quickly with a few decent lines, leaving her speechless with no reply, she bit her lip and cursed under her breath.

I still have along way to go.

Shatter.

“I need to revise this. I-I need to edit it … how did they come back with a response so quickly?Should I build my whole set beforehand? Argh, do I need to think that far ahead? But they’re not thinking that far ahead, are they? They didn’t even know what my line was going to be, but they twisted it so quickly … What am I supposed to do? They’re not that much better than me … are they?” She shook her head, slamming a fist into her desk as she tried to hype herself up. “No … no! They aren’t better than me. I … I just need to improve. Think faster … change it up …. I-I …”

She grunted and swiped her materials away, allowing herself a moment to just scream and shout.

Shatter.

“And it seems like we have our winner! Give it up for the reigning champion: King B-Chan! Everybody make some noise!”

The host patted Rei’s back and sighed. “Maybe next time, little lady.”

Shatter.

“What? Got your tongue all tied up? Can’t think of any more pre-written lines, fool?” the man challenged her, swinging his chain around his neck tauntingly. He raised his hands up towards the crowd and earned several cheers from them as they all chanted in unison.

“Lo-SER! Lo-SER! Lo-SER!”

Shatter.

“This is my time to rhyme, my time to shine // and if you all MC’s want to get with me, then you better fall in line! I don’t …. I don’t …”

She froze up. She forgot her lines.

The crowd was already silent, but for some reason, in that moment, they grew more deafeningly quiet. The tension made Rei snap and fall to her knees, hiding her face into her thighs as she wept—all while the other rappers at the cypher began muttering about her behind her back.

“I think she’s just not cut out for this even with freestyling …”

Shatter.

Banging her head against the metal door, Rei clenched her fist. She was too tired to even be disappointed. She was too jaded to even be surprised at this point. She flopped at another freestyle set. She didn’t have any opponents this time during the cypher. It was just her against herself—her own lyrics against the crowd. And yet, even then, time and time again, she’s failed repeatedly, miserably, embarrassingly.

No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, all she seemed to do was fail.

Her efforts got her nowhere.

Wiping off the dirt and bits of rust that clung to her forehead, she sighed. Rei stepped closer to the edge of the rooftop balcony and stared into the orange horizon. “Maybe I’m really not … cut out for this thing …”

Would it be such a bad idea to turn around now? It’s not too late, is it? Would it hurt if I quit? Would it hurt me if I won’t be able to be a real rapper?

Would it really matter that much?

Rei exhaled deeply. I’ve tried as hard as I could and yet … I’m still not where I want to be. Maybe … that’s the sign. Maybe it’s time for me to stop. Maybe … Maybe …

She gripped her skirt and sighed. “I hate this …”

“No you don’t.”

Straightening up, Rei recognized that voice in an instant. 

Peering over the corner from where he was hiding from, the old man waved at her from behind the generator and made his way towards her. “You don’t mean that, do you, kiddo? You and I both know that.”

Rolling her eyes, she shoved her hands into her pocket and kept her hood on her. “What do you want this time? You sure make it a habit of appearing whenever you’re not needed, don’t you?” 

“I’m done,” she announced out loud. “I quit. For real this time, ojii-san.”

He shook his head. “You’re not done yet—.”

“What, because this is ‘only the beginning’, huh? That I have much to ‘grow’ still, huh?” she yelled at him, raising up a finger in his direction. “Well, you know what? Fuck that. And fuck you! I did it your way, ok? I gave it my best shot. I rewrote and rewrote my lines, I came up with new ones, I listened to other artists—even ones I’ve never heard of before—drew my inspiration from their lines, and still … and still … that got me nowhere. So what the hell do you want from me, ojii-san? I don’t think … I don’t think I can do this anymore …”

Sighing, he glanced to the side and limped over to the railing of the balcony, leaning on it with his elbows. Huffing softly, he glanced over his shoulder and asked Rei, “What do you do for fun?”

She raised a brow. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” But when she sensed some sincerity in his words, she crinkled her nose and bit her lip. “I like listening to rap, ok? It’s what I invest my time in the most. Listening to songs. Working on covers. Recently, writing them too. At least, trying to …”

But he waved a hand at her and said, “No, what do you do for fun outside of this. Got any hobbies, kiddo? New books you’re into? Saw that new popular anime movie? Ever had a crush on someone? Flirted with them? Got heartbroken? Did any sports? Joined any teams? Had a sleepover? Gone on a family vacation? Anything?”

There was a brief silence before he raised it again. “Anything?”

Blinking rapidly, Rei got defensive as she felt like he was probing too much. “What does that have to do with anything at all?”

Chuckling, the man shook his head. “Everything. Kiddo, music is made through experience. But I don’t mean just locking yourself up in your room or a studio and forcing yourself to come up with something. I don’t mean making the same old hogwash over and over again. No. Not at all. I mean, live.”

“What?”

“I said, live, kiddo,” the man reiterated, looking her dead in the eye now. “I want you to live. Live your life. Do the things you want to do. Meet who you want to meet. Be who you want to be. Then, you’ll figure out what you want to say, and you’ll get to say it. Beautifully. Perfectly.”

Chuckling, he gestured to the sky with a smile. “Find your voice through the moments of your life. Only then will you really be able to speak from the heart.”

“So, what are you waiting for?” the old man invited, smirking at her.  “Go. Live.”

Go live.

Shatter.

Go focus on your studies. They’re important.

“Who knows the answer to this problem? Can anyone—?”

Rei raised her hand immediately and smiled as she stood proudly before the teacher even called her name. She knew this type of Math problem. She reviewed this last night. “Sensei, I think the answer is X equals fifteen and a half? Is that right? Using the quadratic formula?”

Their teacher paused for a moment and nodded, her blank expression turning more delighted in an instant. “Yes … that’s good, yes! Good job, Rei. I’m glad to hear from you again.”

Rei smiled and nodded in gratitude before sitting down with a little sense of pride.

Shatter.

But don’t neglect your loved ones. Have friends. They’ll take you places.

“Rei-chan~? Rei-chan, chotto matte~!”

As Rei turned around, hiding her exam-prep notes behind her, she spotted three of her classmates rushing towards her with their bags in tow. Once they’ve caught up to her up the hill, they all paused to catch their breath, panting as they turned to her. “Rei-chan! You walk too fast! We were going to ask if you wanted to come with us to karaoke today. You don’t have club, right?”

Rei knitted her brows. “But it’s a school day.”

“It’s a Friday, baka!” One of the guys said, eyeing her notes behind her. “Ah, Rei’s going to study it seems. For finals? That’s still a month away though. Why don’t you hang out with us for a bit? Loosen up before we really need to study.”

Rei was quite hesitant about all this. She could use the spare time to practice a few verses herself too for this weekend’s cypher.

“Fine … I’ll go … But don’t make me regret this.”

And as she sang her heart out to some anime song openings from her childhood later that day, she surely didn’t regret it one bit.

Shatter.

Spend time with your family. They’re precious, you know. How fortunate you are to have them.

“Jiji! Kocchi e oide~!”

As her parents set the dishes and their food on top of the kotatsu, Rei was wondering why it took her grandfather so long to head out of his room. When she grew impatient, she excused herself and grabbed a bowl of warm salted nuts to tease him to hurry up.

But when she got to his room and knocked on the door, she peeked in and spotted him looking listlessly out the window.

“Jiji? Is everything ok?” she asked in a worried tone. Thankfully, her grandfather turned to her with a smile and shook his head. “Just reminiscing, sweetheart. Are those for me?”

She pouted and shook her head. “Mine. All mine. You were taking so long, I was worried.”

Her grandfather slid off the bed carefully and made his way to Rei, embracing her gently before patting her on the head. “My dear Rei, so filled with energy. Slow down once in a while, ok?” She smiled up at him and nodded, helping him towards the kotatsu. “Otousan, okaa-san, it’s finally time to watch the movie~!”

Shatter.

But don’t forget to leave some time for yourself. You’ll need it to unwind and reset.

As she clutched the edges of her comforter, which she threw around her, Rei shuddered in anticipation. There wasn’t anything scary yet, but as the silence grew more drawn out in the middle of the movie, she unintentionally held her breath.

Once the characters said something, right at the end of it, the monster jumped towards the camera and ripped off one of the girl’s faces.

And just like that, Rei screamed so loud she woke up the entire neighborhood.

Shatter.

Learn how to laugh.

“Look at that! Stop being such a goofball, Rei-chan!” one of her friends said as she turned the pasta noodles from home economics into a makeshift mustache. Just as she was about to put it back down into the strainer, their teacher called her and urged her to turn around.

She was met by laughter from the whole class as they all saw her silliness.

Shatter.

Learn how to cry.

“Oh … you … you already have a girlfriend?”

Sato nodded, rubbing the back of his nape. “I … I do. I’m sorry. I know you have your feelings for me, but … I already have Nanase-chan. Thank you for your emotions and sentiments though—.”

Rei simply bowed in response and walked away without even handing him the gift she made for him. Before he got the chance to call out to her, she broke into a sprint and tried to hide her tears as she trashed the chocolate box and darted home.

Shatter.

Learn how to love.

“Happy birthday to you, Kei-kun!”

As they all threw confetti in the air and blew their horns, Kei was surprised by all of this as he entered the classroom. As the class president, he was not expecting this in the slightest. “Wow, you all went crazy, huh? Thank you so much. Who do I have to blame for this?”

Their classmates all turned to Rei, who was holding the cake. “Rei-chan got it all prepared and planned out for us. We just needed to help execute it.”

Kei smiled at her and bowed politely. “Thank you very much then, Rei. I’m in your debt.” Rei blushed and swatted a hand at him, nearly dropping the cake.

Shatter.

And don’t forget to learn how to be loved in return.

“Need a lift?”

Rei was wondering who suddenly approached her as she was waiting outside the school gate. It was Kei. He leaned on one leg to talk to her as he was way taller than Rei. “I have somewhere to be after this, but I can bring you home if you want. Or do you need to go somewhere else?”

“It’s fine. You have a bike, but I’ve got my own two legs. You can go to your part-time job—.”

But Kei wasn’t having it. He grabbed her by the wrist and smiled. “Let me take you home. I’ll feel more reassured that way.”

“Baka …” Rei muttered to him as she got behind him on the bike and held on tightly, blushing just as hard as well.

Shatter.

But above all else—learn how to live.

“We’re at the top of the world!” Rei and her friends all screamed as they began biking down the long hill that lead to the beach in the distance. Although they were a bit late, they could still see the sunset painting the sky to their side.

“It’s beautiful …” Rei muttered as she pedaled with all her might before relaxing her legs a bit to enjoy the view. “So beautiful …”

“Not as beautiful as you though,” Kei whispered, surprising her from behind as he darted past her, challenging her to a race. Rei grunted and pedaled even faster just to catch up.

Once you have, you’ll be ready.

Shatter.

I’m ready.

She couldn’t hear the crowd. She could barely even make out the scene in front of her.

She had just successfully tore through all the initial face-offs in the cypher, knocking out some of the heavy hitters and competitors she’s been squaring off against in the past year or so. 

How long has it been since she started? She couldn’t remember. All she knew was that it was high time she beat them. It was high time she made it this far.

And they weren’t too happy about it.

“How did she get so good all of a sudden? What happened?”

“Is she cheating? Bribing the host?”

“Ehh, Is she getting help from someone? Is she making someone write lines for her?”

“No way—she’s too clean even when replying. How can she do that? She was never this witty.”

“She was never this fierce. She was never even this calm.”

“She was never like this.”

Rei let them talk. Rei let them gossip. Rei let them believe what they wanted to. 

She didn’t care. 

All that mattered was that she made it. She was here now. She was at the final round of this cypher—the freestyle exhibition. It wasn’t like the past freestyles she’s been training for—no. This wasn’t the ‘pity’ freebie they gave anyone at the end of the cypher. This was before that. This was behind everything else in order, but above everything else in importance.

This was the finale.

The host was saying something to the crowd then towards her, but it was completely inaudible to Rei. All she waited for was for the microphone.

Then, it was her time to do the talking.

Once she held it in her hand, she smirked. She can smell their fear. They had every reason to fear her now.

Tapping the microphone once for a quick check, she took a deep breath. When she was ready, she took the headphones her grandfather had given her off her head and locked it around her neck.

All the noise came rushing in. All the lights beamed down on her. All the phones and cameras were raised in her direction.

All eyes were on her. But she had her eyes set out on everyone. Towards the back, she saw his figure leaning against one of the walls. He smirked at her and nodded.

It was time.

“This one … is for all of you. My brothers and sisters. My kin. To my friends. To my family. To my boyfriend. This … this is all for you. Thank you for making me what I am.”

“Now, I’ll show you what I’ve got.”

As soon as the beat played on the stereo, Rei let the moment linger. She closed her eyes and licked her lips, allowing herself a second or two to taste the deliciousness of what was to come, to feel it on her lips before they parted from her. 

She bobbed her head and warmed up with a dramatic whisper. “Dropped in a maze soon as I was born // with different abilities, we’ll all pass through the same door // We push through, just to be one step ahead // And neon lights shine down on us and those that were dead!”

The whole crowd grew silent as she drew their breaths out of them.

“Jouzu ni ikiru geitou // wa egao to kobi to HEITO Akuma to DETO // shinakya te ni hairanai meiyo Kodomo no koro oshierareta doutoku toka housoku // Ga ate ni naranai no wa oshieta sensei koso shouko!” And then, she breathed fire like a ferocious dragon, sparing no one.

“Hora! Miro waku kara hazureta abureta ochibureta // Tatakare! // Takunakya hana kara medatsu na shaberu na to shumuketa // Tataku gawa ni mawareba kachi tte seigi no bai wo tsuketa // BANG BANG BANG! Majo saiban kogeta ami no fureba!”

And she didn’t leave any crumbs for them either.

“Bouchou suru douchou atsuryoku joushiki higisha wa mou juushou // Aa! Kyoushinshatachi yo, nee sore nante shinkou shuukyou? Shinjita mono shika sukuwanai, ina, shinjiru mono sura sukuwanai //

Kamisama ni! // Soredome kyou mo sugaro nosa aa arigatai~!!!”

Rei took a breath.

She didn’t even lead into the chorus. The track she composed hastily for a background beat kept playing. It just kept on going on. All eyes were on her—in bewilderment, in disbelief, in utter confusion and surprise.

In amazement.

“Scream for me.”

The crowd went wild. 

Cups and bottles were thrown around. People jumped up and down to her beat as she continued to perform the next verses. Rei spared no moment to loosen up. She delivered each line—each and every verbal blow—right into the hearts of the audience. The ground rattled with their energy. Her arms lifted them high up into the air as her words wrapped around them and pulled them in.

Rei was finally feeling magnificent. She just knew it deep down this time around. 

She was shining.

And as she ended her original song with one final pose—like she always did—lifting the microphone up in the air, panting, sweating, and utterly spent, she glanced at the crowd one last time.

And they were all cheering her name.

As tears welled up in her eyes, she couldn’t even make sense of the host’s words of congratulations anymore. All she could see was the blurry image of the old man saluting her with a big smirk, mouthing the words to her.

“You did it, kid. You made it.”

You’re finally one of us now.

Shatter.

As Rei lifted up her trophy, striking her signature pose, earning a boisterous applause from the bleachers, the audience cheered her name across the stadium. She bowed towards them before grabbing the microphone from the stand.

“Thank you, AAA. Thank you to each and every one of my fans for getting me here and helping me win this award. Thank you to my family, to my friends, and to my boyfriend for being my strength. Thank you, especially—you know who you are—for watching over me all this time. First female winner of the best rapper award in all of Asia? We did. We did it, old man. I think … I think you can rest in peace now.” As the crowd gave her one final applause to send her off, one of the hosts interrupted her on her way back down the stage to ask her an impromptu question.

“Hello there, Naoi Rei, I hope my English is alright, but could I get a few words from you on a more personal note before you go?”

The host looked stunning and elegant—a perfect fit for the role she was playing. If Rei remembered from the guest list, she was also part of a five-person girl group in South Korea. A popular one at that. Unfortunately, the name eluded her.

The woman asked, “What one message would you like to give aspiring musicians or rappers like you? What would you tell them to help them become Asia’s next generation of talented artists?”

Rei didn’t need to think. 

She borrowed the microphone from the lady and chuckled into it. Raising a finger towards the camera, she looked right into each and every one of their eyes and said, “You’re a lot better than you think, but if you don’t start, then you’ll never try it. And if you don’t try it, then you’ll never do it. And if you don’t do it, then you’ll never be it. Don’t let anyone stop you from being what you want to be—not even yourself.”

With a smile, show bowed politely and uttered, “Keep at it, and you’ll make it soon enough too, kiddo. Believe it.”

See? And you doubted me.

I told you—I could do it.

I always knew I could. =====

She’s not quirky—she’s just weird and cringey. It’s annoying.

Oh? But I’m just being myself though? What’s wrong with that?

This is the story of a girl—a fairy tale about a young girl filled with such eccentricity.

This is the story of the girl who descended from the stars.

Have you ever seen a meteor shower? Or a comet? Or a shooting star? If you’ve ever seen one in the sky, you’d know how beautiful they were, how rare they were, and most of all, how fleeting they were. You could blink and miss it. Gone. Forever. They come unapologetically. They come unannounced. Although some researchers may claim that they can predict their arrival, for the most part, however, they happen in a flash.

Appearing, existing, then vanishing.

Such was the case of her.

I remember that day—that class. Twenty five years ago. It was Ms. Kwon’s class in the afternoon. She was our biology teacher, and I think she was discussing the ecosystems that existed within the planet’s oceans. Just as she was about to explain the difference between benthic and pelagic organisms, we all heard it.

The sound of a ukulele strumming down the corridor.

Our doors were closed, so we all just giggled to ourselves thinking it was someone’s ringtone going off, trying to find out who among us was the unlucky person to get chewed on by Ms. Kwon. But as the sound grew louder, we eventually found out that it was, in fact, an actual ukulele being played live.

And it was being played right outside our door.

Ms. Kwon stopped her discussion to ask the class. “Do you hear that? Is that just me or does it sound like—?”

“A ukulele. It used to be my grandfather’s. It’s pretty old, miss, but it sounds good, don’t you think?”

Those were the first words she ever spoke to us that day.

As the door gently pushed open, what we saw remained a mystery to this day. Some of us swore that she was a walking disco ball—a mismatch of the brightest colors decorated with the most iridescent of jewelry. Others believed she was a rustic individual who wore a pioneer dress and old skirts with a headdress upon her to match. But I knew what I saw that day—how could I forget?

The girl in the navy blue white-dotted dress and yellow wooden shoes.

The girl who came from the stars.

The girl who would change my life forever.

As soon as she made her appearance and walked up to the front of the class, she bowed politely, and without saying another word, began strumming a series of chords in progression on her ukulele as she tapped her wooden shoes against the floor to the beat. Her pigtails swayed side to side as she tilted her head, and before anyone knew it we were all tapping our feet and clapping along to the beat ourselves.

We had all forgotten about underwater ecosystems for a while. We were all entranced and following her own rhythm for a moment there.

I wasn’t sure what interrupted the scene—was it the large pink owl that swooped in from the open door and perched on her shoulder, or was it the snapping of Ms. Kwon towards the class to silence us and return to the matter at hand. Whatever it was that took us out of the trance, it left us with a sense of confusion as to what had just happened.

It’s like we walked into a fairy tale as children and exited back into the real world as adults.

Ms. Kwon was the first to break through the spell. “Excuse me? Are you one of my students? Is this your class?”

The eccentric girl puckered her lips in thought before shrugging, and we watched as the large owl calmly sat on her shoulder as it rose and fell. In an awfully lax and dreamy manner—like her mind was somewhere else, drifting away—she replied, “I don’t know, hm hm. I don’t like to take ownership of people and things that aren’t mine. I don’t think you’re ‘my’ teacher or that this is ‘my’ class. Unless you want me to. You know, take ownership of you?”

Her nonsensical answer was met with laughter from the class while Ms. Kwon remained standing there looking quite stumped.

“Ok … well, if you’re going to participate, I suggest you sit down with the others. And … do something about your … owl.”

“Seyo?” she asked, and the owl responded with two hoots. “Seyo is a nice owl. He always watches me in my sleep and makes my dreams a reality. One time, when I was dreaming about bouncing through Marshmallow Land and Campfire Creek, I woke up to him bringing me roasted s’mores and a glass of warm chocolate!”

The crowd bursted into laughter once more over how ridiculous her answer was.

But she didn’t mind. All she did was smile enthusiastically, strumming her ukulele faintly still. “There was also this one time when Seyo saved me from a large komodo dragon that spat out tissue paper from its mouth to wrap around you like a tongue. What he did was he built the largest toilet bowl you’ve ever seen, and flushed his tongue down the drain along with him.”

As she recounted the numerous dreams she had about this pink owl of hers, we all found ourselves back in this entrancing state. She talked about things that made sense—starfishes, seahorses, the difference between manatees and dugongs—all pertaining to the class we were having. But she also talked about why cotton candy is actually made of cotton, how storks actually delivered babies, and what kinds of planets existed outside of our solar system.

From the possibility of humans developing mutations and superpowers to the question as to why we were all willingly submitting ourselves as slaves to a capitalist society, this girl—this living and breathing specimen of an oddity—shared her mind as if it was made of glass. She was transparent. She was true. She had nothing to hide—not holding back anything at all.

And she all captured us with her idiosyncratic charm.

By the time the bell had rung and we began snapping out of her trance once more, we realized we had learned nothing about underwater ecosystems. But, we all did learn a fair deal about the anatomy of a unicorn and the origins of sandwiches.

“That was … interesting,” Ms. Kwon muttered, trying to regain her composure. She had this look on her that was trying to figure out where all the time had gone. We were just as confused as well. Clearing her throat, she gestured towards the odd girl. “What was your name again?”

She held out her dress to the side and bowed while crossing her legs, holding her ukulele against her body. “Kongsuni. My name is Kongsuni.”

And we all burst out in laughter. For who could have such a name?

It sounded made up. It sounded terribly fictitious. But the fact of the matter was, so did she.

To anyone else, she sounded like a figment of imagination. But to us, she was very real.

Looking like she was unsure of what to do with her, Ms. Kwon waved a hand at Kongsuni and sighed. “You have a lot of catching up to do. Yujin, why don’t you help her out and get her situated with class and school.”

“Me?”

Before I could even question that decision or question the fact that our teacher was willingly accepting this random girl that appeared out of nowhere, the pigtailed girl turned to me. From all the way towards the back of the classroom, I felt it.

Her smile.

A baseball bat could not have hit me harder than that smile did. I was seventeen years old. In that time of my life, how many hundreds or thousands of smiles have already been directed towards me since?

So why did this one feel like the first?

As the bell finally stopped ringing, Ms. Kwon nodded to Kongsuni then towards me. “Take care of her Yujin. Until we figure this all out.” And as Kongsuni ran up to me, playing me a happy set of chords on her ukulele, I froze up in my seat as I stared at her in bewilderment.

Little did I know that we would never figure this out at all.

That she would never be able to be anything other than a mystery.

Shatter.

“Kongsuni? Kong—?”

Before I could stop her by the entrance of our school to avoid any further commotions, this girl decided to be three commotions and a half instead. I planned to pull her away from the main entrance and brining her to the back of the school—through some of the more hidden pathways—so she could walk around with her ridiculous looking owl without bothering anyone. But before I even knew it, she was already trouncing down the main hall with her ukulele in hand.

Could you believe me if I told you she was singing one of the saddest songs in the most upbeat way in front of the whole school?

I would have died on the spot. But Kongsuni kept going. 

Bullies, cheerleaders, jocks, nerds, the prefect, our teachers—they all heard her sing. They all had their eyes on her as they watched in silence. Imagine that—a whole school falling silent over one energetically sung mourning song. 

How could anyone look away either when she was wearing the brightest polka-dotted and striped outfit that could put even circus clowns to shame?

And she did so with the largest smile upon her. A smile without a care in the world.

Not wanting to escalate anything further, I tackled her against the lockers and grabbed her hand so we could run away before anyone thought of saying or doing anything stupid to her. She held onto my hand lightly as she smiled back at me, her owl flying along next to her as we darted.

Behind us, the crowd began cheering and jeering like they had just been to a concert.

Shatter.

“Ms. An, could you find your little friend and bring her back here? She’s already late for class, so that’s a demerit even if she returns. But make sure she comes back here regardless.”

“If you’re going to punish her, then why bother asking her to even come back?” I muttered under my breath as I fixed the sleeves of my hoodie.

“What was that, Yujin?” Mr. Hong raised. I bit my tongue and sealed my lips shut as I shook my head and swatted at him. “Nothing, sir. I’ll go look for her real quick.”

Darting out of the laboratory, I threw my hood on and tried to be discrete. I didn’t want anyone thinking I was cutting classes, or worse, thinking I was looking out for Kongsuni.

I wasn’t. I was just doing as I was told.

Thankfully, the hard part about finding Kongsuni wasn’t trying to search for her. The moment I headed down the stairs, I could already hear the sound of her strumming echoing throughout the halls. I stuffed my hands into my pocket and quickened my pace, trying to look cool and all kept together. But I lost my facade as soon as I saw the small crowd gathered around her as she walked down the corridor.

“Gidaehaedo joa // waenji wanbyeokhaejin i neukkim // Gakkaiseo bwado nan joa // Red~”

As she sung, the crowd followed her around, mesmerized by her voice. She wasn’t a particularly good singer—not at all. But her voice was just too distinct and too captivating to avoid. She sang in a mellow and calming way, one that soothed the eardrums and relaxed the mind, making you forget about all your troubles and worries—even for just a moment. She had that sparkle in her eyes whenever she performed, spreading that excitement and awe towards the crowd as she sang. Even when she didn’t know the complete lyrics, she could bullshit her way through and it still sounded good.

When our paths intersected, she stopped her singing and gave me a little bow. “Master Yujin, what doth bringeth thee to mine sideth?”

Rolling my eyes at her, I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her a few steps away from the crowd, who was evidently booing me for stopping their parade. “What are you doing, Kongsuni? You could get detention for this you know?”

“But this is my hourly uke time. I can’t miss out on my hourly uke time, Yujin. People are counting on me to show up and perform on the dot every dot.” “That doesn’t even make any sense—wait, you’ve been doing this hourly?” I clarified, glancing back at the crowd, who seemed to have paused, waiting for our conversation to finish so they could continue their march. “Wait, you’ve been cutting all your classes … just for this?”

She nodded eagerly like there was no problem at all. “Music is the language of the soul, and I don’t want to sell my soul to the system, Yujin.”

Pressing my eyes shut, I sighed. “Let’s go. Back. Back to chemistry. Mr. Hong will kill me if I don’t bring you back.”

“But won’t he kill you even more on the inside if you did?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, yet her words stuck with me throughout the day. But as I forced her to follow me and dragged her back to the labs, I felt an uneasiness growing in my chest.

Shatter.

“Kongsuni what the hell are you doing!”

As I ran up to her in an attempt to stop her from getting any further, I realized soon enough that it was all too late. The passers-by had all seen it by now. Other students and classmates of ours began taking pictures of it by now. The teachers and the admins would have already heard of it by now. At this point, anything Kongsuni-related would have spread like wildfire by now.

She decorated the janitor’s closet.

Rows of Christmas lights were hung back and forth across the top surface like vines, the interior walls were painted with bright neon colors that made it shine even without a light, random corners, cracks, and wedges were all blasted with bedazzled plastic jewels, and even the cleaning agents and other tools and utilities were coated in special tape and wrappings that gave them a more festive look.

When asked why she decided to do all of this, she smiled and shrugged. “Just felt like it. I don’t have a locker, so I made this my locker. Look, Yujin, I could even fit inside of here.”

Without any prompting, she sat inside one of the large buckets reserved for murky water and fell backwards into it inside the closet. This earned a few laughs from some passers-by. I slapped my hand across my face and grunted, feeling the secondhand embarrassment.

The janitor came by and gave her the thumbs up. “I approve, little lady.”

Ba-dump.

Shatter.

I couldn’t stop checking my phone for the time. She had five minutes left to burst through the doors with her stupid pink owl or she’d be late again. And if she was late again, she’d have to serve at least three hours of detention this time.

That also meant I’d have to serve those three hours with her again.

Tapping my foot incessantly against the floor, I checked the time on my phone. Cursing under my breath, I threw my hood on and sighed. I couldn’t even call or text her if I wanted to. She didn’t have a phone. I didn’t know where she lived either, so it wasn’t like I could have forced her to walk to school with me.

“Whatever, she can do what she wants. She always did so anyway,” I muttered, not having the best start to my day.

It was then that the PA system crackled and popped before the opening notes to the announcement played. But this time, the sound of a very familiar girl on the other end of the microphone caught everyone’s attention.

“Hello is this thing on? I never know how to run these types of technology, Mrs. Kim. Hello? HELLO!”

Her voice boomed into the classroom and echoed down each of the halls. My ears rang for a bit before they recovered with a few stretches and rubs. Everyone was doing the same, but they were more enthusiastic and curious about what was going on than to question why it was going on in the first place.

“Sorry about that fellow students. There’s a first time for everything. And you know what, let’s have a first time together today as well,” she spoke now with more confidence as she cleared her throat. “Today is international wear-your-underwear-backwards day. So I kindly request everyone to head into the comfort rooms or locker rooms one at a time and start reversing your underwear please. This is non-negotiable homework approved by me. Get started!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Who ever let Kongsuni get to the microphone like this?

But our other classmates didn’t mind. Even our homeroom teacher couldn’t give two bothers about it. Instead, they were all rather amused about Kongsuni’s shoddy attempt to explain the history behind ‘reversed underwear day’. It was already well past the allotted time for homeroom, but Kongsuni kept going, and the school kept letting her.

They were amused. They were entertained. They didn’t care. They didn’t mind.

Hearing her ridiculousness over the system made me chuckle a bit as I shook my head with a smile.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. 

Shatter.

“Give me an S! Give me an O! Give me a P! And give me an A! What’s that spell? SOPA!” As the crowd began cheering the abbreviation for our school over and over again to the beat of the drums and through the guidance of the cheerleaders, I sighed and tried to plug my ears. I wasn’t a big fan of loud places—not a fan of crowded places either. But it was mandatory spirit week, and we were all required to watch one of the games our football team had against another school.

“Where is she?” I asked myself as I stood atop one of the highest bleachers. There were only two other people on the same row as me, which is why I chose this spot. Plus, I got to see the entire field without needing to crane my neck. It was as perfect as it could be. “I even saved her a seat. Don’t tell me she decided to cut her way out of this … again …?”

I paused. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

In the middle of our school’s halftime presentation, a polka-dotted figure began rushing to the center of the field. It was bold. It was dangerous. Maybe they had something to say. Maybe they had an emergency. But all doubts evaporated into the late afternoon sky as soon as we all heard her voice.

It was Kongsuni.

She didn’t need a microphone. She didn’t need anyone’s permission. As soon as the cheerleaders spotted her amongst themselves, they made way for her and left a large circular space around her to do her thing—whatever it was that she was planing to do.

I was sweating buckets. 

Normally this would be fine. Normally everyone else would find this acceptable—we all got used to it. We all got used to Kongsuni’s proclivities and antics. But right now, we were in the presence of another school. A whole other crowd of people who probably wouldn’t take as kindly to her as we did, who wouldn’t be as tolerant or accepting of her as we were.

I bit my tongue, hoping for the best but expecting the worst, wishing there was something I could do to stop her.

And she did what Kongsuni always did—she stole the show.

Without any other cheerleader or drummer backing her up, she began rapping.

Yes, she began rapping.

And it wasn’t even any rap song we’ve heard of before—it was completely original. The lyrics made sense—a form of support, trying to hype up the crowd as well—and you could hear her pronounce each syllable with clarity despite the open air. She grabbed the pompoms she made by herself out of magazine cutouts and began waving it in the air to the quickened rhythm of her rap.

And just like that, she hypnotized everyone to clap along and follow her vibe. And when I mean everyone, I meant everyone—even the teachers, even the admins, and even the people from the other school along the bleachers across from us.

Kongsuni had us all dancing and cheering and singing at the top of our lungs without a hint of doubt, like we were born and raised to do this, like this was our purpose—like nothing else mattered.

Once again, Kongsuni got us all to do the impossible.

Once again, she got me to smile. 

I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve smiled because of her by now, but could you believe it? She got me to smile—no, she got me to enjoy this. I can’t remember the last time I had fun like this—over watching a football game while a silly little girl tried to entertain us all by herself.

It was whimsical. It was silly. It was unreal.

And at the center of it all was her—a bright shining idiosyncratic star.

Our star.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

My star.

Shatter.

With my hood on, I hastened past the football team that was gathering by the entrance . They were trying to invite other students to the party their captain was throwing later tonight. I wanted no part of that, so I slinked away and began darting down the stairs like a shadow in the night.

Once I made my way past the parking lot, I took deep breaths and sighed, gripping my bag tightly. “Finally. The weekend.”

“What’s with the weekend?”

I nearly screamed as her voice came out of nowhere. I didn’t know she was trailing me this entire time. I glanced upwards, and sure enough, her owl was circling above us like a beacon in the sky.

“Where did you come—that doesn’t matter. Could you call the bird back please? It’s drawing too much attention,” I told her, glancing about us to see if anyone had seen us.

Chuckling, Kongsuni whistled, and Seyo obliged, landing his talons gently on her shoulder. “He just likes you, Yujin. He rarely likes other people, so I think that’s a gift you should cherish.”

I would have mouthed the words back to her mockingly, but I was caught off-guard by her smile. She wasn’t smiling at me in particular, but in that moment, I swear, it was almost as if she was. “Whatever …”

We walked in silence for a few moments, merely exchanging glances here and there. I felt the blood rush to my face as she kept looking at me eagerly like she was waiting for me to say something.

“You’re quite quiet today, Yujin. Usually you’d be yap yap yapping away at me again by now,” Kongsuni raised, petting Seyo on the head. “Did you fail your calculus exam earlier?”

“You mean our calculus exam?” I spat back, shaking my head. “Maybe …”

“Maybe?” she repeated back, but not even in a teasing way. She spoke it as if to soothe, as if to show concern. And when she spoke to me like that, how was I supposed to feel irritated at all? “Maybe, but that’s on me. I spent all night figuring out—something. Something …”

“Something?”

I swatted at her and walked a bit faster. “How about you? You seem to be busier these days. With cheerleading and stuff.” “Cheerleading. Helping out our botany professor. Track and field. Music club,” she listed out, tapping on Seyo’s talons to count each one before smiling at me. “Some stuff. Many stuff.”

“Speaking of, Master Yujin—.”

“I told you not to call me that a million times by now,” I interjected.

“Doth stilleth noteth liketh me-eth calleth thee Master?” she teased, turning straight ahead of her as we rounded the corner. “The music club president told me you were working on a solo project. I want to hear it one day when it’s done.”

“He … he told you about it?”

She nodded, skipping once we got to the sidewalk across the street. Kongsuni loved hopping on each individual tile, avoiding any cracks or divisions between them. “He told me you were figuring out how to make your first album. I know a lot about music, and I want to help, but I think you’ll do fine on your own. I want to listen to it when you finish writing and composing it all. I wouldn’t mind being the first to criticize you.”

“Sure. Criticism. Wonderful,” I uttered sarcastically, shaking my head to hide my laughter. “Ever the eager critic.”

Before we could get too far, I noticed we were straying farther and farther away from the path I usually took to get home. I brought it up with her when we crossed another set of streets. “Where are you taking me, Kongsuni?”

“Home,” she replied daintily, barely moving her lips as she did. When we met each other’s gaze again, she smiled faintly and repeated herself. “Home. One of many.”

I didn’t dare ask what she meant by that. I’ve learned from the past that learning about her is better experienced rather than told in story.

Upon letting her lead the way, we found ourselves heading into another side of town—opposite the district the school was in—and strolling down a more commercial area. Right at the heart of it, down a set of boulevards I had never really been to before, was a large community park filled with evergreen trees and littered with life.

Kongsuni reached for my hand, and I didn’t object.

She dragged me all the way to the heart of the park, where a circle of trees surrounded a small pond. She sat down on a bench that offered a perfect view of the water, and she urged me to do the same. I held my breath and tried to take in the view amidst our silence.

“This is your home?’ I muttered, finally bringing up the courage to ask and clarify things. “Kongsuni, you … you can’t really be living here, right?”

“Why not?” she asked in a dumbfounded way. As if this was the norm. As if this wasn’t a cause for concern.

“Why not?” I repeated, chuckling in disbelief. “It’s not safe. If you live here, then where do you sleep? Where do you eat? Where do you—I don’t know—take a shower or something? Do you even take showers …?”

Seyo hooted at me and pecked on my head, but Kongsuni told him off, pushing him to flutter over to one of the nearby trees. “I do. Occasionally.”

“Occasionally … ?”

She nodded. Standing up, she raised her hands in the air and twirled in her doll-like dress. “This is my home. One of many. I love it here, so I chose this place as my main home for the mean time. It’s just me, and Seyo, and the trees, and the stars. And just us.” Rubbing my nape, I couldn’t find the right words. I didn’t want to tell her off, but I couldn’t support what she was doing either. “And the police too, I imagine. I doubt they’d let you stay here.”

“But they do,” she corrected, pointing across from us, and in the distance, there was a security guard by the opposite entrance of the park who spotted us and waved in our direction. Kongsuni waved with a large smile on her to convey her greeting. “See?” “This is all just ridiculous … but it’s still so much just like you to do something like this.”

“You’re my home too, Yujin.”

“What—?”

And she kissed me. Kongsuni kissed me.

I didn’t know who else was watching. I didn’t know who else or what else could have seen us. But as she leaned into my face and kissed me on the lips ever so faintly, I managed to inhale deeply and take her in—her scent, her visage, her expression. I took it all in. I took it all in, and in that moment, I swore, I felt like I understood her.

I felt like I got her.

When she pulled away, she smiled and licked her lips. “Doesn’t taste like lemon or cherries at all. They were lying to us this entire time. Now I feel like they owe us an explanation. Or an apology.”

“Who ..?”

“The tabloids and the novels—mostly the romance ones,” she explained, lacing her fingers together on her lap. “I’ve been reading them a lot more lately. They’re alright. I prefer creative non-fiction though.”

“Wait …”

“Do you know, one time, when I was at the library, an old man approached me out of nowhere and asked me if I worked there. I didn’t, of course, but I wanted to play along with it. I think I would make a great librarian. I see a lot of librarians dress like me and occasionally act like me. Maybe I don’t need to go to college, Yujin, I could just be a little quaint librarian in a village by the sea after we graduate.”

“Kongsuni, I …”

She smiled at me once more, and that smile was a smile of understanding—of acknowledgment.

“I know, Yujin. I know. You like me.”

I smiled, unable to really hide it. “You’re smitten with me. You’re speechless to behold my beauty. You had never met anyone so fascinating. You thought of me every waking minute. You dreamed about me. You couldn’t stand it. You couldn’t let such wonderfulness out of your sight. You had to follow me. And so you did. Under the guise of help. Under the pretense of looking out for me. But you know why you did even after all this time.”

I turned to Seyo and sighed. He swooped down on me again and pecked me on the nose, but I didn’t flinch this time. “Don’t give yourself so much credit. It was your owl I was after.”

She laughed, and the entire park sang.

“Stay with me.”

I turned to her fully now, lowering my guard. Our knees were pressed against each other as we looked one another in the eyes. I could feel myself physically being drawn to her—inch by inch, breath by breath—and I could have sworn she was being drawn to me too.

“Stay with me, Yujin. Please? Even for just a night. Even for just an hour or two. Even for just a moment. I want to be at home with you, so could you grant my wish just for today?”

I bit my lip and broke the gaze. “I … Kongsuni, I can’t sleep here. You can’t sleep her either—you shouldn’t be. I-I … I don’t know but … I don’t think this is right. I want you safe. I need you safe. I need you to … I need you to think rationally for once.”

“Rationally?”

I nodded, tapping my foot incessantly. “Kongsuni, I-I … I like you. I like us. Whatever we had before this. That’s enough for me. That’s more than enough for me. But … but how long are you going to keep up with this? How long are you going to act like this? Why … why can’t you act normal for once and think normally for once … for your own good? Just … just to make it easier for us …”

“Just to make it easier for you?”

I didn’t mean it that way. 

I didn’t mean to vomit my emotions and thoughts onto her in a very uncouth manner. It just happened to come out all at once. But it was already too late. Kongsuni took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

“But why should I fit in when I was born to stand out, Yujin?”

I didn’t say anything more. She took the words right out of my mouth along with the breath from my lungs. I knew I was in the wrong, but somehow, I felt as though I was somewhat right too. As the sun began to set into the horizon, turning the surface of the water a tinge of yellow and orange, Kongsuni and I just sat there in absolute silence.

And when night fell upon us, unfortunately, I couldn’t honor her wish.

I left her there. Alone.

Shatter.

It all happened so fast.

I couldn’t get in the way of the two girls. As the cheer captain and Kongsuni bumped into each other, all I could do was watch as Kongsuni got pinned to the lockers.

“What. The. Actual. Fuck?”

Kongsuni was just as surprised, nearly dropping her ukulele in the middle of playing with it. She glanced up at the taller girl and pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, Wonyoung, but you were in the way.”

“In the way of what? Your pathetic little pity parade?” she raised, glancing at the other students who were singing along and performing behind her. “We do this every hour of every day here in school. I thought you’d have known by now, especially since we’re on the same team—.”

Wonyoung slapped her.

Nobody said a word. The impact was high-pitched and was nothing short of intense. Kongsuni tried to keep it together, but soon bright light began dripping from her eyes.

I should have known. We all should have known. A girl from the stars doesn’t shed tears—she shedded light.

Scoffing at Kongsuni, Wonyoung shook her head and groaned. “You all support this charade of hers? Are you all serious? Don’t you get tired of singing and singing and dancing and dancing like a bunch of idiots? Don’t you have anything better to do with your lives?”

“What better thing is there other than—?”

Wonyoung slammed the lockers next to Kongsuni’s head and pressed a finger to her lips. “Shut up before I get really pissed.” She cleared her throat and let go of Kongsuni to now address the crowd. “You heard me—why the fuck are you all getting behind her weirdness? Don’t you realize how deranged you all are? How deranged she is? Why are you all accepting her weirdness as fact?”

Everyone fell silent—not simply because of the way Wonyoung raised her voice, but rather, because of the way she posited a valid question. Up until now—up until her—no one had questioned Kongsuni. 

Where did she come from? Who was she really? Where did she live? Where were her parents? Was she a registered and officially enrolled student of our school? Why did she often act this way? Was she mentally sound? Was she traumatized? Was there anything underneath that image of hers?

There were so many questions that we just chose to gloss over.

Wonyoung paused to glance back at the frozen girl beside her and smirked. “I know your secret, Kongsuni. I know you’re an orphan who escaped from the orphanage when you were younger, living on the streets, begging for scraps. You act all bubbly and … just downright weird because you want attention. You need attention. That’s the only way you got money. You got shelter. You got food.”

“Attention whore,” Wonyoung whispered to her, loud enough for the people immediately surrounding them to hear. She smirked one final time and shoved her off. “Stop acting like one if you don’t want to lose what you have here. I don’t think you want to start all over again, do you? Like you’ve been doing for the past few years?”

As Wonyoung walked away with the other members of the cheer team, leaving nothing but utter silence, everyone slowly began walking away from Kongsuni and the site of the incident. Even the students who she managed to rally behind her walked away, leaving her alone and all by herself.

I wanted to approach her. I wanted to make sure that she was ok. But when she lifted her head and turned to me for help, all I could do was stay put and slowly back away.

Shatter.

“Kongsuni, why are you still wearing those ridiculous dresses of yours? You are no longer a child, young lady. And you will abide by the school’s policies from now on too!” “But all I have is—.”

“No buts!” the principal snapped, crossing his arms. “Go buy a set at the school store, and I expect you changed and dressed properly by this afternoon. Now!”

Kongsuni walked away in disappointment, but not after having her ukulele and her owl confiscated.

Shatter.

“Get away from us … please … we don’t want anything to do with you anymore …”

Kongsuni looked confused as she held the flute she had been learning all school year in her hand rather tightly. “What do you mean, club pres? I thought you said I could participate in our performance next month for—?”

“Things have … changed,” he explained rather poorly, looking to the other members of the club for support. But when he realized he was all alone with this one, he sighed and shrugged. “It’s not an easy decision, ok? It’s nothing personal either, Kongsuni. We just … we just want to protect the other club members for now.”

“From what?” she boldly asked.

Although the silence was deafening, everyone in the club could have sworn they heard the words materialize out of the tension.

From you.

Shatter.

“And now, let’s give it up for SOPA and their cheer squad! Let’s all welcome them to the field ladies and gentlemen!”

From all the way up on my seat at the bleachers, the crowd’s cheering was deafening as they watched the members of our school’s cheer squad run up to the center of the field. But as soon as a certain pigtailed girl joined the other girls, the atmosphere was filled with nothing but booing.

“Now, now, let’s all play nice and—.”

“GET HER OUT OF THERE! GET HER OFF THE FIELD!” “KONGSUNI, FUCK OFF! STOP TRYING TO STEAL THE SHOW AGAIN!” “WE’RE TIRED OF YOU ALREADY, YOU HEAR? GO ACT LIKE A CHILD SOMEWHERE ELSE!” She hadn’t even done anything yet. She hadn’t even said anything yet. 

From the way she was dressed up like the other cheerleaders, anyone could have seen that she wasn’t even considering anything out of the ordinary. But the people were ruthless and merciless—they didn’t give her any chances. They didn’t afford her any kindness.

And immediately, Kongsuni got the message as she stormed out of the field bathed in starlight while the rest of the crowd burst into cheers again.

Shatter.

It all happened so fast—too fast—that by the time I was able to act on any of it, the damage had already been done.

I still remember that day—the day the light had died.

She was there, sitting in her designated seat at the front of the class, ten minutes before the period even began. She had traded her bright-colored and mismatched clothes for her plain yellow school uniform, exchanged her pet owl for a small backpack, her pigtails for a ponytail, and her ukulele for a brand new mobile phone.

She looked, spoke, and acted just like everyone else. She was just a regular, ordinary, everyday girl just like the rest of us. She was an average student just like the rest of us.

She was no longer born of the stars, but that of a comet that had crashed into earth, mingling with the loam and the filth below.

And I could see her dying on the inside.

I couldn’t stop myself from approaching her, but when I did, she didn’t even want to look me in the eye.

“Kongsuni, are you … ok?” I muttered, the confidence in me slowly draining away as I saw her form. “You’re … dressed up normally now. How’s Seyo?” “Rei.”

“What …?”

“Naoi Rei. It’s not Kongsuni, but Rei,” she corrected without looking me in the eye. Sighing, she placed her mobile phone down and tossed her hair backwards. “And stop asking about Seyo. Stop asking about him or me like you still care. I know you don’t anymore, Yujin, and that’s fine.”

“Kong—Rei … Rei. Rei, I … I didn’t mean to … I’m so sorry, I … I just … I …”

When she finally glanced at me, it was then that I saw that there were flecks of stardust and starlight in her eyes as she held herself back. “It’s ok, Yujin. This is for the best. I think I understand it now.”

“No, Rei … I …”

But she shook her head. “This is for the best. And if it’s alright with you, you don’t have to ask me to the dance.”

“The dance?”

“Spring Formal,” she raised, dabbing a handkerchief against her eyelids. “I knew you wanted to ask me about it since we were alone together at the park. I saw it in your eyes. But now, I know that desire is no longer there. And that’s ok.”

How could she see through me so clearly? 

When she put it like that, it made me feel even guiltier. “I’m sorry, Rei … I wish I could have done something …” “You could have, Yujin, you could have,” she muttered in reply, turning to look away. “I asked you to stay. I asked you to stay …”

Without much else to say, I nodded once and walked silently out of the classroom to go and freshen up a bit.

On my way to the restroom, the janitor who was passing by clicked his teeth and shook his head. “Such a waste.” “What?” I muttered, thinking he was talking to me. I thought I heard him wrong, but as it turned out, he was in fact talking to me.

“I just clean here, but I saw it, you know?” he repeated himself as he dunked the mop into the bucket which was no longer wrapped or bedazzled. “She liked you, girl.” The intensity of his words made me shudder. “Yes … yes I know … Kongs—Rei?” “She did it for you, you know?” “What?”

“Gave up her self, her sense of identity, just for you. Nobody in this damned place could have gotten her to do that. Except for you. She loved you that much. What an incredibly lucky girl you were, kid.” I couldn’t even fathom the strength to look at him. “Yeah … I know …” “No, you don’t. You can’t know yet at your age. But maybe someday …” As he walked away, pushing his little cart filled with cleaning materials, I knew he was tempted to say more. I knew he probably wanted to tell me how stupid I was, how cowardly I was, or how I blew the best chance I would ever have.

But all that was left was the silence.

And the darkness.

Shatter.

That was the last I ever saw of Kongsuni or of Naoi Rei. That was the last either of us have heard from her. Some were more fortunate to have witnessed her on the night of Spring Formal, but for people like me who decided to stay home or avoid her, that was the last we ever experienced her.

I still remember what I did the night of Spring Formal. How many tears I shed. How many times I had to stop myself from slamming my guitar into the wall for being an idiot. How many times I wish that I could just hop onto a magic carpet and fly back in time to fix things, which made me realize how much Kongsuni and I were alike more than we were different.

We were just two people who both wanted to be ourselves. Except she was free to do so. And I—I was still trying to hide it.

So I wrote it all down. I wrote my heart out. 

I finished seven songs inspired by her for my first album—all the things we went through, all the things I wished I could have said to her, all the things I wish we could have done still, and all the things she made me feel.

By the time I had finished editing the hastily made album, it was noon of the next day.

I received a lot of texts asking where I was, what was I doing, and about the craziest Spring Formal night that SOPA has ever seen.

There were conflicting stories. Some claimed there was a five-hour long bunny hop around the school grounds and just within the vicinity of the school’s lot. Some claimed that a certain individual got the principal to break dance in the middle of the dance floor. Some claimed Wonyoung and Kongsuni even sang a duet together—much to the former’s disapproval. And some claimed that a massive group hug involving everyone who was present spontaneously happened just before the event could conclude.

Whatever it was, and whatever really happened, will be known only to those who have witnessed the fairy tale unfold as it did. For the likes of me, whose own experience with the fairy tale had already ended, all we could ever hope to witness were these stories and recollections.

I still think about her—Kongsuni, Naoi Rei—even after all these years.

And even as I finished the lyrics to my latest title track, I still have her in the back of my mind. When I close my eyes, I still hear it—the sound of her ukulele. When I close my eyes, I could still feel it—the rush of embarrassment, excitement, unpredictability, and freedom whenever I was with her. When I close my eyes, I could still see it—her smile.

And as I lay in bed each night, I still think of it—of her.

The girl who came from the stars. The girl who changed all our lives.

Forever.

See? Would you look at that.

I managed to leave my mark on the world in my own little way—the way I wanted to.

It pays off to be unapologetically myself, isn’t that right?

=====

Why is she so clingy with Liz? It’s getting anoying and tiring seeing them together too often.

Really? I know I’m clingy, but I haven’t been clingy enough with her yet. I want all the time I can spend with her.

And I’m just getting started.

Clink! CLASH!

As the two ironclad knights slashed their swords at each other, the red-caped one parried the other’s direct attack and darted to his side. With a powerful spinning blow, he struck right between the folds of his opponent’s armor and drew blood as he hopped back and retreated.

Wounded and bleeding, the blue-caped one stumbled onto one knee in genuflection, running his metallic fingers against the rust-red stain on his side. By the time he managed to glance upwards, his opponent’s sword was already right underneath his chin.

“Victory goes to the red knight, Sir Evandery, once again!” The crowd went wild as Sir Evandery scored another win for himself. This was the fourth duel he’s won today, and the seventeenth duel he’s won this week—all without acquiring any loss. At this rate, all he needed was to win three more duels, and by then, he would win the grandest of all prizes in the kingdom.

The princess’s hand in marriage.

Amidst the cheering of his name by both peasants and noblemen alike who were in the wooden stands around the oval arena, Sir Evandery raised his hand up to the sky and shifted his gaze up above to the spiral ivory tower in the distance where he believed the princess was watching from. He raised the opening of his helmet up to blow a kiss directly from his own lips towards the princess’s general direction, hoping she would see his display of valiance and affection.

The princess surely did see it, but she was nothing but disgusted.

“Father,” she faintly called out, glancing away from the large opened windowsill she was perched on. “Must I really take the victor’s hand in marriage? Is that a necessity?”

The rotund king chuckled and shuffled over to her side rather pompously still holding his half-eaten cupcake in one hand. “My dear, you are our only beloved child—our beautiful daughter. You deserve nothing but the best—the best the kingdom has to offer! I will not give your hand away to any mere peasant. I shall not ruin your future! Or our name!”

“But what if I don’t fancy him, father,” she continued, caressing the stony ledge, flicking away the impurities and dust that built up on it over the years she’s lived here. “What if he’s not suitable for me as a husband? What if … we simply don’t mingle well?”

He swatted a hand at her, chuckling in disbelief. “Daughter, do you doubt your father’s instincts? This so called ‘connection’ is not needed in ruling a kingdom. All you need is authority, power, and respect. So far, you have none of that, my dear, which is why I’ve staged this tournament for your hand. The winner will be of vast renown and repute—no one shall doubt his authority, surely, when he takes the throne.”

“Do you mean Sir Evandery?” the mere utterance of his name sickened her. “Father, why must my hand be raffled away like some petty prize? Can’t I … fight for my own hand?”

The king sighed and tossed his cupcake at one of the maids stationed to service the princess, making her struggle to catch it to avoid spilling any crumbs. Patting his belly, he gripped his regal scepter and clutched it tightly as he tapped his daughter’s forehead lightly with its tip. “Dear Mary Elizabeth, in life, we don’t always get to choose. Sometimes, you are destined. Such is the burden of our blood. We are burdened with riches, burdened with power, and burdened with glory—a glorious purpose. And your glorious purpose, my dear, is to rule this kingdom like I did, and like your ancestors before you. Are we understood?” Elizabeth fell silent and nodded her head. “Yes father, I understand …”

“Good, I will not have you think of even flirting with the commoners like a whore would in search for this so-called ‘romance’ of theirs,” the king snarled. “I’ve had enough of this. It has soured my mood so. Someone, get the bathing chambers ready! I need a good soak.”

As his personal attendants outside acknowledged his orders and began scurrying down the castle corridors, Elizabeth untied her luscious blonde hair now that her father parted from her presence, allowing it to flow down to her shoulders. When her maid reached out to help her with the rest of her dress, she shook her head and dismissed her, and upon her departure, stripped out of her tight and lavish wear and exchanged it for the comfort of her undergarments.

Laying in bed, she allowed the cushions and cloths to take her as she hugged one of her pillows tightly. “My glorious purpose …”

“Your glorious purpose is to be your true, undeniable, whole self.”

Gasping, Elizabeth could not even scream as she felt a hand around her mouth. Was it kidnappers? Was it a spy? An assassin? But as soon as the hand came, so did it leave her visage as the figure it belonged to darted back to the windowsill and rested upon it.

It was a masked figure, cloaked and hooded as well. There was no distinct feature to be made out from it. The pale jester’s mask revealed nothing through its slits in both the eyes and mouth. The brown patchwork hood hid the figure’s hair a little too well too. The cloak wrapped around it did nothing to reveal any detail of clothing underneath its external layer.

It was just like a ghost. An echo. A phantom.

“Do not be afraid, mistress, I see the fear in your eyes—you are wrong to fear me as I come in peace,” the figure confessed, its voice warped by the tight fit of the mask. “I am but a messenger.”

“A messenger? Are you under the king’s employ? Or another’s?” Elizabeth asked. She had her suspicions this figure was working underneath royalty with how she was addressed. “Only those under servitude refer to me and the likes of me as such. R-Reveal yourself!”

The figure chuckled. “An apt yet adorable display of courage, mistress, but that will not work on me. Again, I am simply a messenger.”

“A messenger of what exactly?” Elizabeth dared to ask.

“A messenger of freedom.”

Elizabeth was expecting to see a half-dozen daggers coming her way from beneath the figure’s cloak. Those surely sounded like the final words an assassin would utter towards their quarry before finishing them off. However, as Elizabeth lowered her pillowy shield, she soon witnessed the figure sauntering over to her bed and sitting at the foot of it with its back turned to her.

“Tell me what you wish to know, and I shall show you what there is—all that there is in my knowledge.”

Elizabeth perked up and leaned towards the figure. “What I wish to know? About what, pray tell?”

The figure chuckled once more. “You are quick to trust, mistress, but I admire your heart. You can ask me anything you would wish to know about the outside world, about the world beyond, or perhaps, about the world within. Have you not had any sparks of curiosity about anything at all—even yourself?”

Elizabeth had to ponder on it for a moment longer, but it seemed the figure didn’t mind. As she sat embracing her knees, unbothered by the fact that a complete stranger was in her room while she was still in her undergarments, the princess lifted her chin.

“Tell me everything you know about what exists beyond these walls,” she demanded, managing an authoritarian tone. “I want to know—I need to know … what is it like out there? What could it be like out there … waiting for me …?”

The figure did not chuckle. Instead, it nodded as if respecting her choice. “It would be best to show you, mistress. Here, take my hand.”

As the figure extended a hand towards her, Elizabeth retreated and held her breath. “I … I am not to be seen outside the palace walls. My father will kill me, and he will have your head! Are you not worried in the slightest? You even … breached past the guards to get to my tower … What game are you playing at?”

Lowering its hand onto the bed, the figure gazed out the windowsill and nodded once more. “I understand, mistress. Like I said, I am simply a messenger—a messenger from the heavens. They have seen you struggle. They have seen you yearn. And they have seen your need for someone like me. If I may have the luxury of your time, and if you’ll have me as your guide, I would love to show you the world beyond these walls of yours.”

Elizabeth was not born yesterday. It would be foolish to trust anyone of this sort. But somehow, as the figure’s words tickled her ears so tantalizingly, she couldn’t help but wonder for herself what more was she missing out on—what more was there left to uncover.

“So … so long as I do not leave these walls as you show me, then I will let you have me,” she announced.

The figure stood up abruptly and bowed in her presence before darting backwards and leaping out of the window. She wanted to give chase, but by the time she was by the sill, the figure had been long gone.

Like a phantom.

Shatter.

“Mistress, your first gift.”

As the phantom dropped in and interrupted Elizabeth’s nightly reading, the blonde princess could have easily screamed into the night. Had she not recognized the mask she had seen the previous day, she would have done so without hesitation. “A gift?”

“For you, mistress, a wonderful view of the world beyond—or but a fragment of it,” the phantom explained, unfurling a roll of parchment. “This is a map of the kingdom and its territories. I believe you have not known much about it yet due to the king’s neglect, mistress.” Glancing over the map, she was astounded, for the images on the map seemed to be true indeed. “These … these are our colonies and our territories. That would be the Avandir mountain range—.”

“Which borders the land of Bilhandamon, splitting the continent in two. We are the Eastern kingdom on this landscape, for to the west is—.”

“The principality of Neuvaldanta,” Elizabeth finished, smiling as she now got to visualize the different areas and regions that her father and his men would only talk about to her. “Where … where would the most abundant fields be located?”

“Over here, mistress,” the phantom pointed, gesturing towards a verdant green patch of Bilhandamon towards the north. “This is Emerald Valley, and the lushest of all lands would be the Sage Spreads. They have every variety of flower known to man growing there. I have once resided there myself.”

“Is that so? Where would the most war-torn regions be?” Elizabeth inquired further.

“Then that would be over here by Hellspawn Pass, where the canyon cuts into the mountainside and renders the land infertile, where nothing but vultures and untamed beasts feast on both the living and the dead.”

“Then what about … the most beautiful view you could ever see in the entire kingdom … where would that be found?” Elizabeth inquired yet again.

Sliding a finger over towards the southern border, the phantom tapped near the bottom of the map. “Here, mistress, by the Cobalt Coastlands. If you were to look to the sky, up upon one of the tallest cliffs in the Coastlands, you would witness an unrivaled view of the setting sun as the horizon swallows it whole, sinking it beneath the waves.”

“I … would love to see that for myself one day …” Elizabeth muttered, gazing down at her own wrists as if seeing the invisible shackles that held her back. “Alas …”

But the phantom knew better. The figure got up and bowed once more. “Then allow me to help you experience further, mistress. Allow me to bring the world to you.”

“To me …?”

But just like the time before, the phantom had vanished before Elizabeth could even finish her thought.

Shatter.

“Please leave my meals by the door next time, so you don’t have to bring it inside anymore.”

“But, my lady, your father will be displeased to know—.”

As soon as she heard the sound of ruffling entering her room, the princess grabbed the tray from her maid and gently pushed her past her door. “Thank you! Now, please, leave me be.”

Slamming the door shut on her, she turned around and dropped the tray of food on the floor. The phantom heard this as it lingered by her bed. “You seem excited, mistress.”

“How could I not be? You had offered to show me the world. Where, pray tell, is the world? Did you manage to sequester it for us like you did to me and my attention?”

The phantom chuckled and scattered the contents of its rucksack onto the bed, causing the princess to gasp in awe. “This can’t be!”

“It is so, mistress—an item from every location imaginable within the boundaries of the Two Kingdoms,” the phantom offered with a stretched arm. “Have at it as you please.”

Elizabeth leapt onto her bed and began scouring through the scavenged memorabilia. “This?”

“A leaf from the tallest tree in the kingdom. It is said that majestic mythical birds that perch there have turned its leaves into a crystal color. Beautiful, isn’t it? Just like you.”

Elizabeth blushed, but it would take more to stagger her. “And this? This looks rather peculiar.”

“Ah, a lens from one of the greatest tinkerers from the city of Daramavond, whose specialty is mechanical automatons. Although most of his work is experimental … and somewhat explosive … he loaned me this lens to remember him by after I assisted in some of his … work.”

She held the lens up towards her eye and was fascinated by how the world warped around her from its view. “Magnificent … and this? I hope you did not bring such a foul creature into my living quarters.”

“That would be anything but, mistress,” the phantom reassured, picking up the large carboniferous item in its hand. “This is a conch from the Coastlands. I noted your explicit interest in the view, mistress, but I figured it would be as noteworthy to you if you received an item from the area. It is said that placing your ear against it will allow you to hear the voices of the sea.”

“I shall give it a try then, and if it doesn’t work, I will have my guards seize you,” Elizabeth quipped, placing the conch up to her ear. Surely enough, she managed to hear the sounds of the wind battering and blowing against something constantly in motion—like the ripples of water in the royal baths. When she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine the sunset in the distance.

“Do you hear it?” the phantom whispered, placing its supposed ear against the conch as well. “The sea—it calls to you, mistress.”

When Elizabeth lowered the conch, their two cheeks were now pressed against each other, making the princess blush even further. “I did … I do …”

But when she turned to face the figure, it had already dissipated into thin air, leaving nothing but souvenirs and a tightening in Elizabeth’s chest.

Shatter.

“Mistress! You are to be delighted by this. I have brought you even more of the world—more than you can possibly imagine.”

As the phantom enthusiastically climbed up from the windowsill and into her room, lugging with it a plethora of bound tomes and books, it dropped them onto the floor by its feet. “Mistress?”

The princess was laying in bed with her back turned to the evening sky. When she turned to respond to the phantom’s voice, she hushed it with a finger to her lips and gestured to it. “Come … join me …”

“Mistress, that would be forbidden—.”

“Everything you have done for me so far and everything we have done together … has been forbidden. This much is … child’s play,” she muttered in reassurance. With a look of desperation upon her, she called out to the phantom. “Please? Would you … indulge me in this special request …?”

“Say no more, mistress.”

“Call me … call me by my name.”

“Say no more then … Elizabeth.”

As the phantom slipped underneath her regal silken sheets, Elizabeth pulled the covers up towards its neck and made sure it was cozy for it. “Much better than standing all the time when we talk, right?” “Mis—Elizabeth … this is close enough, don’t you believe so?” the phantom raised, its voice now sounding less commanding, less confident, less sure. “If any other man were to be in my place, you would have already been ravaged. It would be unwise to allow a stranger into your bed.”

“It would be unwise to let that same stranger into my heart, no?”

Blushing, she bit her lip and caressed the side of the phantom’s mask and sighed. “Why … why do you hold my heart so? We had only just met and yet … it feels like we’ve known each other for a lifetime … for an eternity … It feels as though all that I once knew was turned on its head, and all that I know now is because of you … and yet I know nothing about you …”

Holding its mask, she begged, “Tell me about yourself, please? Enough about the world … enough about what’s beyond … indulge me … indulge me in the learnings of you.”

If only Elizabeth could see the phantom’s expressions, if only she was capable enough to read its minute expressions and gestures, then she could understand it more, peel away the surface, and get to the heart of its being. As her own heart raced, mind filled with thoughts, the phantom merely nodded in acknowledgement and indulged her.

“I am a traveler, Elizabeth. A wanderer. My chosen destiny is to travel the land, the sea, and the stars to find where I’m meant to be. I have no home for everywhere is my home. I have no nation, for every nation exists within me. I have no name, for I have been called one too many before, and feel as though I have owned nothing enough to call my own.”

“You speak in tongues and riddles, yet you own me as much so,” Elizabeth muttered, drawing closer to the phantom. “Your mask … rid of it please … I wish to know.”

“I can’t …”

“I wish to see …”

“I must not, Elizabeth …”

“I wish to love … what lays beneath … I wish to love you …”

For someone as sheltered and cloistered as Elizabeth, she would not know what love is. But for all her fascination, for all her interest and yearning, and for all her gratitude for this figure, she knew one thing—she felt for the phantom. She felt something for the phantom. Whatever it was, she prayed to the heavens that the messenger she was sent was the one for her—the one to let her feel it for the first time.

Love.

The phantom remained unmoving upon hearing her open confession, but once the trance has finally broken, it nodded slowly.

The hood first came off, revealing a thick bush of knotted hair that seemed to grow and flourish in all directions—wild, untamed, natural.

Then, the cloak came unclipped, exposing the lithe figure that hid beneath it, showing Elizabeth more glimpses of the leather and cloth underneath.

Finally, the mask peeled itself as it fell onto the side of the bed, revealing what Elizabeth would describe as something from a dream.

This phantom was no man—she was a woman.

A woman with the softest pair of hazel eyes that matched Elizabeth’s own finer cerulean. A woman whose nose was scarred, whose jaw was chiseled, yet whose cheeks remained soft despite experience wearing her down. A woman who was in every way nothing like Elizabeth, but at the same time, was everything she had wanted to be,

Courageous. Adventurous. Alive.

This was the phantom. She was the phantom—the phantom who stole her heart.

“You’re …”

“A woman,” the phantom finally admitted, revealing her true voice, which sounded higher than most noblemen, but more growly than other women she had met before. “A woman born of the earth and not riches. Not the sort you would ever fall in—.”

For the first time, Elizabeth didn’t want to hear her words any longer. She shut her up with a lustful kiss on the lips.

Once their mouths have smacked together and now slowly drew apart, the phantom gasped. “You … but we’re both …?”

“That matters not to me,” Elizabeth spoke with confidence, smiling at her beloved. “That matters not in the slightest what you are to me.”

Alas, the night was ruined by the sound of her thick wooden door shattering to pieces. “Princess! Are you alright?”

It was Sir Evandery—dressed to the teeth with his complete armor and his greatsword. He clutched it shakily in his hand as he circled towards the bed. “Princess are you … so it is true … It is true!”

Elizabeth screamed as Evandery lunged for the phantom, but the princess was not expecting the phantom she had fallen in love with to be such a skilled fighter—a gentle one at that. For she leapt into the air from her resting position with such ease that she could have easily thought she had been a fighter and not a wanderer for all her life.

Landing behind Evandery. she pressed something onto his back—a strip of paper—and upon doing so, muttered a few words. His body soon stiffened up like a statue as he collapsed unmoving onto the floor next to her.

“What did you … what was that …? What’s going on?”

“I can tell you what’s going on, pretty little princess~.”

A hooded, cloaked, and masked figure stepped through the door, holding an oaken staff. The voice behind it was chuckling as it shifted between Elizabeth and the now unmasked phantom. “I can tell you everything about your little forbidden lover. Everything about her dark past, and everything about her intentions with you.”

“You …” the phantom muttered, preparing another strip of paper, which now that Elizabeth saw better, was actually a talisman. “Why are you here? This was … you were never a part of the plan.”

“And neither was you flirting and falling in love with the princess, Reichalore! You are a betrayer!” the other figure beckoned.

“Plan …? Reichalore …? What …?”

The mysterious figure fished out a large pouch from behind it and dropped it onto the floor, spilling its contents all over its feet, revealing an assortment of gems and coins. “I’ve been paid to reveal the truth, and paid a little extra to dispose of you—all by the king himself.”

Elizabeth turned to Reichalore in fear. “Please, what’s going on! What did my father do? What … what did you come here to do—both of you!”

“Elizabeth, I can explain, I-I—.”

“SILENCE!” the figure yelled, and soon, a talisman plastered itself onto Reichalore’s mouth, sealing it shut. The figure took off its mask and hood, revealing what could only be described as a witch by any other name. “Reichalore, your forbidden lover, was sent by our coven to lure you into giving her a strand of your hair in exchange for the knowledge that you seek. We would then use that strand to brew a potion to turn her likeness into yours before assassinating you and having her take your place.”

“Take … knowledge … kill …. R-Rei—Reichalore …?”

Although she was silenced, Reichalore’s expression was that of defeat. Elizabeth didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know what to feel. Was this all some kind of ruse? Was this all some lie? Were their feelings for each other never real to begin with? Was she just being toyed with this entire time?

She didn’t know.

As her mind grew foggy from all the uncertainty, the figure began gathering a dark green swirl of what could only be described as magic within the palms of her hands. Chanting, she raised the swirl into the air.

“I’m sorry, Reichalore. You were one of the best of us, but sadly, you are a burden. It’s time for me to finish you off.”

In a heartbeat, Elizabeth made her choice.

As the swirling darkness formed a large blade and darted straight for the silenced woman’s chest, Elizabeth leapt over her bed and dove right between the two figures at odds.

When she opened her eyes again, her vision was blurry. 

She glance down and saw the shadow blade entering her front side and exiting from behind her. When she glanced over her shoulder to see how deep it went, her eyes widened as she witnessed it.

It had also pierced Reichalore right in the chest. It had also pierced her lover.

“My my my, what a brilliant surprise!” the witch exclaimed in twisted glee. Muttering something under her breath, she changed the nature of the spell, and with her incantation, her eyes glowed red.

“I will teach you an eternal lesson for your foolishness,” she declared in a booming voice as a dark swirling thunder cloud formed above her head. “Bound by this spell, I will make your lives hell. With every reiteration, every trial, every form you take, may you two meet, and greet, but never ever wake—.”

“From this nightmare. From this curse. I curse you Reichalore, and you Elizabeth!”

“May you never, ever be destined to be together.”

“Forever.”

Shatter.

“Is this the new land we’re supposed to be developing?” As Reina stepped out of the vehicle and adjusted the fit of the large hat on her head, she wasted no time dusting herself off and instead wrapped her fingers around the crimson cloak on her shoulders. Strutting towards the large flat area before her, her assistants and guides struggled to keep up with her pace, but she afforded them no chance to keep up at all.

Time was money, and money was all that was on her mind.

Once she planted her boots firmly against the top of a small plateau, she gazed out into the distance. Her main assistant caught up with her after a few moments and panted, pointing at a large swath of the dusty land before them. “That … that’s as big as we’ll need for the new factory. Once it’s built, we’ll be able to quadruple production, and we’ll be able to dig our roots into the region.”

“So they claim,” Reina muttered, squinting from the brightness of the sun against her face. “Still, that won’t be enough. The papers said the revolution is reaching its peak. We need to milk it for all that its got. Otherwise, we’re out of the game.”

“The industrial revolution is a misnomer, Ms. Reina,” her assistant corrected. But when Reina glared at him, he fell silent and didn’t dare to continue his thought. “What should I do with the construction team? Have them begin tomorrow?”

“Tonight,” she insisted, glancing away from the direction of the sun. “Have them begin tonight. I won’t be there immediately to supervise the groundbreaking. I have a … meeting … with a longtime comrade of mine this afternoon. I am not to be disturbed.”

“Y-Yes, Ms. Reina,” her assistant squeaked, bowing in acknowledgement. “A-A-And what about the locals? I’m sure some will resist this change—.”

“Then make sure they don’t, boy,” Reina spat out, getting visibly irritated by his constant questioning. “Anything else?”

The assistant hesitated, but after a few moments of shuddering, raised a finger to speak once more. “Th-the … the debts? What do we do about those who haven’t paid yet? We tried to coax a lot of the locals into investing into us … a-and we set up the loan sharks like you requested to loan out to them … d-do we tap into them now?”

Reina smirked and nodded firmly. “Yes. Do that. It’s time they realize who’s really in charge.”

Once Reina was done with her little to-do list for the day, she retired early to their camp and waited just outside of her tent. She was waiting by the unlit fire for her companion—her childhood friend. She had sent out numerous letters to her in the past few months leading up to this, wanting to meet up with her. It’s been far too long. She wanted to keep in touch. The last she’s ever seen her was right before she and her family fled the country for better opportunities abroad. Now, she wanted to reconnect with her, and potentially return the favor by helping out with her and her family’s needs.

Although the thought seemed contradictory to her nature and objectives, Reina knew that she herself wasn’t a monster—she was reasonable. And while the rest of the country would suffer and struggle, she wanted to ensure her friend’s safety, and afford her and her family anything they needed in preparation for the changes to come.

She still remembered the way she’d smile as they ran through the countryside together. How could she forget that? She wanted to treasure that smile for as long as she could—however she could.

But Reina’s recollections were interrupted by the sound of a foul-smelling truck pulling up just outside their camp.

Pinching her nose, she swatted at the air in front of her and walked towards the vehicle. “What on earth is this? Did you bring a pile of trash here or something? Get it out!”

“They’re a pile of trash now, boss. You’ll see,” the bald driver boasted as he pressed a button on the truck. Soon, its back region tilted upwards, revealing what was stored inside of it as it poured out onto the ground.

Bodies upon lifeless bodies formed a pile right by one of the tents.

Reina fell to her knees.

“We got rid of the people who couldn’t pay their debts with the increased interest, boss, just like you said,” the driver assured her. “Barely anyone could pay, ha! We took their things, their money, and their houses. I guess their lives too when they resisted and start spitting bullshit about the revolution. Heh, now ain’t no one would ever stop us, boss!”

Reina saw it.

“No one will ever stop your company!”

Reina saw her.

The lifeless body of a blonde girl in the dirtiest rags she has ever seen—pale-faced, cold-lipped, eyes widened in fear. When she saw the bracelet latched around her wrist being swarmed by scavenging flies, Reina could only do so much as something churned in her gut.

She vomited at the sight of her childhood friend’s corpse buried under the rest of the victims.

Shatter.

“This will be your waiting room! I hope It’s ok if your group is sharing with another group. We don’t have much space available right now because of all the renovations.”

“Hai!” Rei announced, giving the staff member a cheerful salute. “My group won’t mind for sure. They’ll be on their way in a few moments. The rain outside got really strong all of a sudden, so their vans are still on standby.”

“As long as they make it in time for the recording of course,” the staff member replied eagerly as she showed Rei the room. “Here you go, let me know if you need anything.”

“Hai! Thank you very much—.”

“Oh, it’s you again.”

Just as the staff assigned to Rei left her to attend to something else, the familiar voice of another idol filled the room. In an instant, all the blood in Rei’s body came rushing to her head. “You.”

The bratty blonde idol from their rival group—IVE—was already waiting in the room before her. She was all dressed up and ready to record, but it seemed like she was the only one there.

Clicking her teeth, Rei sighed as she glanced briefly outside of the room. “She could have at least told me it was with them …”

“What was that? Are you talking to your manager? Is he going to baby you again and get you your own private waiting room, hm?” Liz snarkily commented as she flapped her dark red lips. “You know, for a group as small as yours, you and your members sure make a lot of demands. How entitled~.”

Rei slammed the door behind her and stomped all the way up to Liz, shoving a finger into her chest. “Oh yeah? If we’re talking about being problematic, then your group has a lot of explaining to do about the fireworks situation last new year’s. Why did your company buy out all of the stock just for your performance, hm? What about the rest of us who also needed fireworks for our sets?”

“Jealous much?” the blonde girl provoke, puckering her lips and batting her eyelashes the way she always did. “Thought so~.”

Rei groaned and sat down a seat away from her. “Just piss off. The last thing I want to do is hear any more from you before our recording. What a mood spoiler.”

They sat like this in silence for a few minutes as the sound of loud thunder rumbled in the distance.

Rei’s phone rang briefly to notify her of a message. It was from their group chat. The other members of her group apologized profusely in advance, saying they’d be late due to the inclement weather.

Before Rei could even text back a response, Liz coughed exaggeratedly and raised a brow. “Your group too? Mine’s stuck in traffic and in the rain.”

“Yeah, same here,” she uttered softly as she keyed in a reply.

“I guess it’s just you and me here, ‘bestie’,” Liz taunted once more.

“I guess so.”

A moment of silence passed between the two of them.

“Hey, Rei?” Liz beckoned gently, which came as a surprise to Rei. She had never called her by her name in a long time now. It was always ‘you’ or ‘your group’, but never by her actual name—never by Rei. At least, not since the incident. “How’s your group?”

Furrowing her brow, Rei scoffed. “Doing just fine. What, are you going to compare album sales again or something—?”

“No, I mean it.”

Rei held her breath along with the other things she was about to say. 

Glancing over towards Liz, who was fidgeting with her phone, she watched as the other girl sighed deeply. “I mean it. Are they taking good care of you?”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t they? Of course they would,” Rei proudly announced, lifting her chin up a bit higher. “Yeah. Yeah! In fact, they take care of me a lot better than you and your other ‘groupmates’ did when I was still under Starship. I can’t say that I regret my decision to leave.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Huh?” Rei reacted in surprise. “What do you mean ‘why did I leave’? You of all people should know why.”

“Is it because of …?”

Rei bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah … yeah … it was mostly because of that—.”

“I’m sorry.”

With her hands gripping her phone between her knees, Liz shifted her gaze down towards her heels as she clicked them together. “I’m sorry, Rei … When you sprung that confession onto me that night in our room … back when we were still trainees, I … I didn’t know what else to say … I’m sorry I said that to you … I didn’t mean to break your heart, but … you should at least see it from my eyes too …”

Rei took a deep breath and calmed herself down. “It’s fine, Jiwon. I was young and dumb too once upon a time. Still, that never should have given you and the others the right to bully me for … for being a certain way. Being shut down was already painful enough.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Liz asked in a hushed tone, hints of melancholy growing more distinct in her voice. “It was me or you … once they found out, it was only a matter of time until the company kicked us both out …”

“So your plan was to get rid of me. Gotcha,” Rei sarcastically replied, irritated by Liz’s response.

But Liz shook her head. “I was young and dumb once upon a time too you know.”

Sighing, Rei got up and turned her back to her former co-trainee and friend. “This conversation isn’t going anywhere. I’m going to get some fresh air.”

“We could have been something, couldn’t we?”

Glancing over her shoulder, Rei watched as Liz was already standing up by her seat, fully turned towards Rei, who was just about to open the door. “If … if I had been more honest with myself, and kinder to you … we could have been something, huh, Rei-chan?”

Don’t call me that … you know it hurts even more …

“I guess … I guess so … I guess we could have been,” was all Rei managed to utter before nodding and excusing herself.

Deep down, she knew what she would have wanted. In another life, she wouldn’t have confessed, and they would have still been friends instead of rivals in different groups. Maybe then, she’d be more comfortable with Liz’s and the other’s presence. Maybe then, she’d be more comfortable with her sexuality.

Then again, she could never stop thinking about what could have been. What if in another lifetime, she did confess, and Liz was more receptive towards it—towards her. What could have happened then? What would have happened to the both of them then?

Rei just couldn’t imagine it. A reality where both of them were happy together.

“Not in this one at least,” Rei sighed as she lowered her head against the water fountain’s tap. “Not today.”

“Not today.”

Shatter.

“Sergeant Lee on deck, prepare yourselves for routine inspection for hostile lifeforms.”

All of them saluted through their holo-comms and chanted, “Yes ma’am!”

Once they had done their routine inspection through the exosphere of the unknown planet, R’eivanna docked her pod in an open slot by the right wing of the KP-0P mothership before taking off her helmet and reentering the large vessel. Jogging towards her cubicle, R’eivanna dunked her gear to one side, lifted up her feet, and stretched her lower back until it popped a little, sighing in bliss.

From above, she saw a pool of blonde hair spilling onto her face.

Struggling to get up, she stiffened into a straightened stand and saluted. “C-Captain Kim!”

The captain saluted back, and as soon as they did, the two girls burst into laughter as they leaned forwards for a brief kiss. “How’s my favorite soldier? Did she find anything interesting on that new planet today?”

“Not at all, cap—Lissandra. Lissandra … I need to get used to saying that,” R’eivanna uttered, unable to contain herself in the presence of her new girlfriend. “How about you? How did the meeting go?”

Lissandra rolled her eyes and bundled her hair up in a ponytail as she grabbed an empty seat, leaning against the barrier behind her. “Tell me about it. Boring as usual, but necessary. We needed to stay on top of things especially given the recent sightings of the Swarm.”

“Swarm this, Swarm that—when will it ever be anything other than the Swarm?” R’eivanna complained, sitting next to Lissandra and holding her hand in hers. “Isn’t there anything that the Frontier can do other than patrol in search for those nasty bugs? Can’t we, like, look for paradise planets again, or maybe search for new friendly lifeforms to trade with? Anything but those damn bugs!”

Lissandra chuckled faintly, and within that laughter, R’eivanna could sense a bit of melancholy in it. “I wish things were that simple, my love. But we can’t rest now. We can’t turn a blind eye to the Swarm. They … they will be the death of us. And if we aren’t at least several steps ahead of them, they’ll snuff us out in an instant.”

“But if all we’re doing is fearing death, then is that any real way to live? To live like this? In fear?”

Sighing, Lissandra shrugged. “What can I do when you corner me like that? You know it’s not fair whenever you get all philosophical on me.” R’eivanna smirked and pecked her girlfriend on the cheek. “It’s only been fifty-three hundred system hours, and I already know you so well.”

Lissandra pecked her back and whispered, “It’s only been fifty-three hundred system hours, and I’m already completely in love with you. With your mind. You have such a … positive outlook to things. Such optimism … that’s rare these days.”

“Maybe I just never forgot how to live like we used to centuries ago,” R’eivanna teased, resting her head on Lissandra’s shoulder. “Maybe that’s what you love about me.”

“I do, baby … I do …”

The ground shook, and in an instant, the two women got to their feet. “What was that?” Lissandra asked, already getting rather defensive as she pulled out her laser pistol from her holster. “Did you feel that?”

“It’s no big deal, Liss,” R’eivanna chimed, swatting at her lover. “It’s probably just the occasional bump down in the engine rooms. It happens every now and then. You should know since you spend most of your time on the mother—.”

The ground shook again, but this time, it was accompanied by the sound of screaming and a sudden lack of air.

“IT’S THE SWARM! IT’S THE—HURKKKK.”

Before the officer could even finish his warning, he got sucked into the cold dark of space, freezing and suffocating to death in an instant.

Lissandra gripped her pistol tightly and grunted. “I knew it. I fucking knew it! To the ships! Everyone, off the mothership and into your pods!”

R’eivanna wasted no time springing into action. She pecked Lissandra quickly on the nose and spanked her on the butt. “I’ll see you after this, baby.”

Strapping her helmet on and suiting up in under a minute, she leapt into her pod and immediately undocked from the mothership. Before she even got through the gate, however, a cluster of Swarm bugs soon presented themselves just outside.

They were huge—much larger up close. They were about half the size of their basic pods. The beetle-brained aliens opened their mouths, and soon, tentacles came lashing out of their heads to try and grapple their pods.

“Defensive formation two-zero-five! Engage one at a time!” R’eivanna commanded. As she did, she blasted specifically at the extraterrestrial tendrils that were swirling towards them. One of the pods next to her had already been crushed by its vice grip while another was being pulled towards their maw. She focused her fire on the other surviving ship, blasting through the alien’s meat until it let go of her companion.

Thrusting the accelerator on her pod, she darted right for and through the Swarm creature, slicing it in half. She continued forward and boosted towards the front of the mothership where the rest of the main battle was happening.

R’eivanna couldn’t believe her eyes.

From the exosphere of the unknown planet they were supposed to be monitoring, hundreds—if not thousands—of larger Swarm creatures began rising into space to confront and surround the mothership. In moments, the entire battalion of first-responder pods got wiped out by these bugs.

They weren’t going to stand a chance. They needed to retreat and take a hyperspace jump back to the Frontier’s headquarters a few clicks away.

But why weren’t they preparing for the jump?

It was then that R’eivanna spotted why—the bow of the mothership was being dragged away by an army of the Swarm. They all seemed to be working together—rather uncharacteristically of them—to drag the mothership out of orbit and towards the surface of the unknown planet.

This was all going wrong a little too fast.

Suddenly, the comms of her pod opened. There, the image of her girlfriend was projected holographically. She was struggling. It looked like her pod was shaking and shuddering in every direction as she focused her gaze at what was in front of her, taking aim and trying to gun the aliens down.

“Special orders given to Captain Kim from Sergeant Lee, who has fallen … every remaining soldier, officer, and citizen of the Frontier left alive, please rush to the stern of the ship. I will be holding the Swarm off at the bow. Prepare for emergency detachment.” “Prepare for hyperspace jump in five system minutes.”

“No …”

R’eivanna immediately swan dove towards the front side of the mothership, crashing past some barriers and windows at the bow. She took a sharp U-turn and caused a bunch of cubicles to go flying along with other work materials and records that now got sucked into the vacuum of space.

There, she spotted Lissandra’s pod—thrusters reversed in an attempt to resist the large Swarm creature that was trying to draw her into its maw, blasters overheating as they struggled to keep up with the amount of targets to hit, ship cracking with electricity and energy as it began to slowly break. “No … not like this … not like this!”

R’eivanna stubbornly landed next to Lissandra’s pod and turned her ride into turret mode. From there, she activate all of her blasters and energy weaponry, targeted the large Swarm beast with it, and set it to auto-fire. She grabbed her energy rifle and secured her helmet on before hopping off her pod.

She rushed towards Lissandra’s pod, firing a few shots at nearby Swarm terrors that tried to swoop in and get her. Once she made it against the surface of the pod, she knocked on the heavy metal and screamed. “Lissandra? Lissandra! Liss!”

“I’m … ugh … I’m right over here …”

There, still staunchly fighting off the alien bugs, was her lover, struggling to maintain her position within the pod as tendril after tendril continued firing towards her in all directions. 

R’eivanna pried through one of the openings of her pod and squeezed her way in. She then launched herself at Lissandra and knocked her away from her seat. “Get out of here. Now! I’ll hold them off for you, captain! Leave with the others while you still can. They’re going to need a leader—.”

But Lissandra embraced her gently from behind.

With tears in her eyes, R’eivanna turned around and pressed her helmet against Lissandra’s as she listened to what she had to say. “My dear R’eivanna … my R’ei … please … live for me … You and I both know you’re the one with more … life … in this universe … I’ve trained for years to fight for this life I’ve been trying so hard to protect, so please … let me have this …”

“You know I won’t let you go, Liss …” R’eivanna muttered. “I won’t leave you.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

Before R’eivanna could even gasp, Lissandra had already pressed the warp gun to her chest. “I’m sorry. I love you. Goodbye.”

“Liss? Liss, don’t—!” Bang.

As soon as R’eivanna was shot by the gun, she immediately got blinded. By the time her vision recovered, she was already inside of the large escape vessel just outside the stern of the mothership.

“Preparing for hyperspace jump. Everyone, hold on!”

“No! We can’t leave yet! She’s still there! She’s still there—Captain Lissandra!” R’eivanna begged and pleaded as she tried to push her way towards the front of the vessel. “She’s still there! Please … we need to save her! We need to help—!”

Boom.

Everyone fell silent.

In the distance, through the small windows they had on the ship, they watched as the glorious mothership of the Frontier blew up in a silent spacial display of fire, energy, and blood. All that they could feel from it now was the vibration of the explosion that came shuddering their way.

“No …” R’eivanna muttered as she clutched her chest, falling to her knees, the inside of her helmet now filled with tears and fog. “No … Liss … Liss …”

She tore her helmet off and screamed her lungs out.

Again. Again. Again.

Shatter.

As a big-lipped Tyrannosaurus growled into the morning sky, causing every living creature with half a brain to flee for their lives, a lone yellow pterodactyl flapped its wings in its direction. For everyone else, it would seem as though the avian dinosaur was flying towards its doom. But for the two of them, it meant something entirely different.

They sensed it. Their last moments on this land.

And as the pterodactyl perched itself by the Tyrannosaurus’s large head, they both turned to the heavens, watching as great balls of fire bursted from the sky and began raining down on them.

It was a good run thus far.

Shatter.

“Bunka kwunka gnarr? Gnarr harba?” one cave woman exclaimed as she drew pictures on the wall, indicating what she had just done earlier today. She proudly boasted of her mural as she began drawing another set of images, trying to express what she wanted to do with the other later tonight.

“Grawwnt haba durr~ Haba durr~” the other cave woman groaned, but in a rather noted pitch. For any external observer with any knowledge about the primitive, they’d know in an instant that she was trying to sing.

The first cave woman dropped her bowl of ink and began clapping a certain beat, trying to sing along to celebrate a good hunt, but her vocalizations were lower-pitched and were faster in rhythm.

And as the two celebrated a wonderful feast for dinner, little did they know that they attracted every sabertooth within a kilometer of them.

But they didn’t mind—for they could at least get ripped apart to shreds together.

Shatter.

“Fore, scallywags! Let’s see wha’’s o’er thar in the distance!”

As Captain Twintails urged her crew to set sail faster across the vastness of the deep blue sea, she chewed on her jerky and spat out some of the chewy portions. Scratching her chin, she scolded a few slackers on the ship and threatened to throw them overboard, rallying the rest of the crew to put in twice the effort.

“Cap’n! Cap’n! We’ve found something! In the sea! In the sea!”

Grunting, she whistled for the roost and waited for the lookout to drop a spare spyglass. “Wha’ are ye natterin’ about? Let me ‘ave a look-see firrrrrst.”

Squinting one eye to focus her vision, Captain Twintails darted her gaze about the front side of the ship and then to the left and right, but unfortunately found nothing. But as soon as she withdrew the spyglass from her face, she could hear it.

Singing.

Slowly, she stepped forward, following the sound of the song. She traced it all the way to the side of the ship, and sure enough, there, a few meters away, was a beautiful and stunning maiden who seemed to be floating around naked.

“Ahoy there, beauty. Needs a lift? Can’t be swimmin’ all day ye?” she invited with a sly grin.

The woman chuckled and dipped into the water before popping out right next to the captain’s face. She smiled lovingly at her and caressed the side of the captain’s rugged face.

“Beautiful …” was all Captain Twintails could say before the blonde beauty kissed her on the lips and took her breath away.

“Captain? Captain that’s a sir—!”

Before she realized it, it was too late. For the blonde siren had already devoured her head.

Shatter.

Smacking the hooded ninja right in the face with her fist, she shuffled backwards and swept another one off his feet before striking a third in the nuts. Master Rei cartwheeled towards her companion and assisted her in a double-handed strike to the chest of a fourth.

“Silversun Monastery shall not fall!” Master Liz declared. Master Rei nodded, and together, the two of them summoned a powerful white dragon and channeled its energy into a powerful blow to knock back an army of approaching ninjas.

Shatter.

“I-I’m sorry … I-I-I can’t do this anymore! I really wanted you … I really needed you …”

“It’s ok, Creator,” the artificial intelligence program soothed, and if it could, would have pet her maker in the head to calm her down. “This is—BZZT—what’s n-EE-needed to protect the hu-HUM-human r-r-r-ACE—race. I will accept my fate.”

“I’m sorry … I’m sorry for creating you imperfect …” Rei muttered, pressing the button.

“I have been loved by you, and that. Is. Enouuuu—.”

There was nothing but silence as Rei killed the only creation she could be proud of—the only entity she could ever be loved by.

Shatter.

As the planet-sized humanoid entity wrapped in a crystal cloak strolled through half the galaxy in but a few seconds, passing through and phasing through anything that came into contact with it, it paused and relaxed its crown of glass.

There, before it, was another very much like it yet very different in the same regards. 

It was a creature born of the nothingness that spread like an infestation throughout a neighboring universe. It was a large swirl of nihility that scattered and spread around its event horizon repeatedly, absorbing everything in its path.

Was this the first encounter of creatures tens of thousands of orders above us in the evolutionary scale? Or was this a fatal circumstance marking the ending of existence?

Who knew? Only they did as their pseudo-hands came into contact with each other for a brief inter-galactic handshake.

Shatter.

Again. Again. Again.

It’s you. It will always be you.

Liz …

Hold on … I can see it … What’s that? You mean to tell me … there’s more …?

Shatter.

“Get out of here, you stupid ugly duckling!”

As the other farm animals booed her off, the poor Naori cried and cried until she couldn’t keep up with her pace any longer, stopping by the river to look at her reflection. “But I’m not even a duck … right? What am I …?”

“Meow! You’re just who you need to be!” a kitten exclaimed as it hopped across the side of the river to console the crying Naori. “You just need to be who you want to be, and that’s that!”

Shatter.

“R-Rei … what … what happened to you …?”

As Rei vomited onto the street, her face warped and morphed. 

A snake. A lion. A goat. An elephant. A giraffe. A gorilla. A salamander. A shark. A whale. A flamingo. A dove.

She became all those creatures—and many more—all at once. Shifting and changing. Morphing into one amalgamation. Morphing into one monstrosity.

“LIZ … I … SORRY … I … DO YOU … LOVE … ME … STILL …?” the creature asked in a garbled tone.

Reaching a hand out to the amalgam, the blonde girl nodded, and soon, the creature devoured her in one bite.

Shatter.

Silence.

Just one potato—now two—falling out of an idle basket at the grocery store. Potatoes know no concept other than to be alive, but these two have found more in each other than an entire digestive system can offer them.

So silently but surely, the rolled off into the distance, fleeing for their lives, not wanting to waste their existence inside the stomach of a six-year-old child.

Shatter.

“Rock on, motherfuckers! It’s time to riot!”

As Rei shredded on her guitar and played several power chords one after another atop a speeding monster truck, everyone within a three-kilometer radius in the dusty desert who heard her tunes immediately revved their engines and drove off for their lives.

“It’s Radical Rei and her Radical Rock Music! Run! Save yourselves before she shatters your eardrums!”

Rei licked her pick and continued shredding, not stopping until the whole world was hers to conquer—until rock ruled the world.

Shatter.

As both girls flicked their wands at each other, forming a bridge of light that collided into one another, they struggled to maintain their balance.

“You were supposed to be my friend! You … you were supposed to help me! I thought I could trust you …”

“I’m sorry, Wonyoung … there was no other way!” Rei defended, gripping her wand tightly. “I wish there was—.”

“There always is,” Wonyoung uttered, tears streaming down her eyes, and with a smile, she withdrew her wand. “Like this.”

She allowed herself to be struck by Rei’s magic, showing her what it was like to drain the life out of someone’s eyes.

What it was like to kill a friend.

Shatter.

She was falling again. Falling. Falling down the stairs.

As soon as the impact on her head coursed through her memory again, she shuddered, and now, everything came to a stop.

She was not breathing. She was not moving. Suspended in midair, Rei was simply floating in an infinite stretch of darkness.

Blinking rapidly to adjust her vision, she clutched her chest tightly and closed her eyes.

“So many … so many lifetimes … so many timelines … so many alternate realities …”

“So many of me … the me’s that I wanted to be but never could … the me’s that I only thought about or imagined could be possible … the me’s that chose differently … that became differently …”

“All of the me’s … all of them … no, all of … all of me …”

She clutched her chest tighter and took deep breaths. “I’m so brave … my grandfather always told me I was brave … Jiji … Jiji … I miss you …”

When all the memories from the lives she had once lived started coming back to her, she lost her breath. And suddenly, she was drowning. Suddenly, she was suffocating.

Why …?

Why am I always being persecuted for doing what I want to do? For being who I want to be?

Why … why can’t they just let me be myself!

Why can’t they just be happy for me?

It was then, in her darkest moment, when all the light she had to give was snuffed out, when she could no longer hold her breath, that’s when his voice came back to her.

When you go, just never forget who you are, Rei-chan. Never forget.

Never forget.

And with her newfound strength, she clenched her fist and smashed through the darkness, creating a spider-crack in the void. 

She punched it. Pummeled it. Banged against it. Over and over and over again.

For she recalled who she was. She remembered who she was. She knew who she was.

“I’m Naoi Rei. No matter what happens to me, they can’t take that away from me.”

“YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!”

And just like that, with one final decisive blow, she shattered through the darkness of the void, and out from the other side, came the bright blinding light.

No matter what happens to me …

Either way …

Either way …

Either way.

=====

Opening her eyes, Rei found herself laying down at the top of the stairs. When she realized what was supposed to have happened, she sat up and checked herself for any injuries.

“I’m … I’m fine … I’m fine … oh god—thank god, I’m fine …”

There, pressed up against her chest, which now slid down between her legs, was a shard—a shard of glass.

Picking it up, she wondered where it came from. Did she break something? Did it fall from the ceiling? But as she raised it up towards her face, she widened her eyes.

“I remember … you … I remember now …”

Chimeras. Fresh produce. Diamond-encrusted microphones.

Meteors. School girls.

All these scenes of other realities involving her rippled across the glass, swirling into a dusty haze and centering upon the glass before draining itself into a focal point on the surface, returning Rei’s normal reflection back to her.

There, through the reflection, Rei witnessed her own proper face again smiling back at her, splattered with a special sort of floral pattern on her—like someone had allowed a six-year-old to paint her like a princess.

There, as she pinched her fluffy cheek, Rei watched as a singular letter formed at the bottom tip of the shattered shard.

The letter R.

==

==

“Ya, where is that Yujin? She promised me we’d spend some time together again after we unpacked,” Wonyoung grunted, waiting restlessly on her bed. “She keeps making ‘dates’ like these and never shows up. It’s always ‘I’m tired, sorry’ or ‘I had something important, my bad’, and never ‘I’ll make it up to you next time’.”

Sighing, she pressed her phone against her chest. “What am I going to do with you?”

Deciding it was time to pay her a visit instead, maybe even offering to help her unpack, Wonyoung shot out of bed and was preparing to wear her jacket, when suddenly, she saw a faint light fluttering about outside her window.

“No way … no way!”

Believing it was a fairy, the naive Wonyoung hopped onto her bed again and pushed the window open in an instant to try and reach out for it, trying to catch it with her own two hands.

But as soon as the window flew open, Wonyoung was too late to realize that she placed too much weight onto the glass. As she saw her body exit past the sill, she screamed at the top of her lungs.

She was blinded by the light from the fairy just before she could witness anything else.

When she awoke, she found herself tumbling and falling rapidly through the darkness.

Into the heart of the abyss.

=====

Camera flash. 

“Liz, Liz! Over here! A quick picture—please!” Liz smirked and indulged the photographer by leaning towards his camera and winking at the lens.

Hands extended. 

“Rei-ya~, Rei-ya~! Sign my albums—please. PLEASE SIGN MY ALBUMS!” Rei signaled to the bodyguards, allowing her to move between them, grabbing the different IVE albums in front of her and signing them one by one.

Cord lifted. 

“Ms. Kim, Ms. Naoi, we’re ready to receive you.” 

Before the pair entered the main event space for the 2026 Haute Couture Week, they gave a final wave to the crowd that continued clamoring for them. All eyes were fixated on them.

But when they finally turned around, their eyes were only focused on each other.

Striding along the length of the red carpet, the assistants guided them to their seats, where a handful of other models and talents were already laying in wait. They politely excused themselves and found a moment of pause to sit down and relax.

Rei turned to Liz. “Back in Paris. Nothing’s changed.”

But Liz shook her head. “Maybe some things have.”

“Oh? Are you actually liking this now?”

Liz shrugged, smirking. “Maybe.”

Crinkling her nose, Rei sighed. “Someone’s confident. What is it? I know you’re hiding something. Finally meeting with Venturini-nim, aren’t you? He’s fun.”

Liz shrugged again before leaning towards Rei to whisper. “Maybe you’ll have to find out later.”

Rei didn’t say a word. Once Liz returned properly to her seat, she chuckled and pinched Rei’s arm, holding her forearm firmly. “I think you’ll like it.”

She could almost feel Rei’s pulse from her wrist.

Their little interaction was interrupted by the arrival of several prolific guests and investors. Like the dolls they were trained as, they got into position and showed off like they were selected to be.

But Liz still had her eyes on Rei.

It didn’t always used to be like this.

=====January 9, 2022=====

I can’t do this again. I can’t do this anymore.

Bursting through the fire escape door, Liz clutched her bare stomach. Glancing down her body, she fought the urge to puke. She grabbed the nearby railing and held onto it, pulling herself slowly to the window.

But I’m an idol now… I have to … I need to …

Forehead pressed to the warm pane, she shuddered and took deep breaths. “It’s over. It’s done. It’s done …”

All was silent and well until the door burst open behind her.

“So this is where you were.”

Clutching her blazer shut, Liz growled and slammed a fist into Rei’s chest. “Ya! What was that for? You nearly … ugh.”

Rei chuckled and held Liz’s hands. “Calm down. It’s ok. Just checking on you. You had us all worried when you went running off-stage. Director Jung asked us to find you.”

“Well you found me.”

“Yeah. What’s my prize?”

Pushing Rei’s face away, Liz turned around and faced the window. Rei let her play coy for a moment. But when the silence grew deafening, she cleared her throat and moved up next to her.

“Sorry. I was just—.”

Liz’s body jerked away from her before she could even place her hand on her back. Her eyes were bloodshot and teary as they stared at Rei.

“Liz, you …”

Blinking rapidly, she shook her head. “Tell Director Jung I’ll be out in ten. Please.”

“You go tell him yourself. I’ll head out when you do,” Rei replied as she leaned her back against the window. “He can wait. So can I.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself.”

They didn’t exchange another word.

From the corner of her eye, Liz sized up the other girl. The cute bun on Rei’s head. Her full red lips. Here studded earrings embedded into her adorable ears. Her fitted choker wrapped around her neck. The tight pants that clung to the length of her legs. The brief peek of her bare navel.

Cute. 

But when Rei’s eyes crossed over to her own body, Liz flinched.

She felt her choker enslave her like a collar. Her silky cropped top barely covered her torso. As the wind teased the patches of skin that were exposed, she dragged her blazer tightly around and over herself.

Closing her eyes, she remembered it.

The eyes—all those eyes. Stabbing her. Prying into her. Roaming all over her hideous body on display. 

Liz stifled a choke. I hate it. I hate this so much.

Rei slid closer. She slid away. Her skirt swished with the gentle motion, forcing Liz to shove it back down to stop it from creeping up again.

Rei sighed. “Can I borrow your hands?”

“Eh? You have your own. Go use them yourself.”

Chuckling, Rei wiggled her fingers near Liz’s face before cupping her palms around the blonde girl’s elbow. She massaged them. She caressed them. Once Liz was less tense, Rei carefully undid Liz’s arms, parting her blazer, and allowing the edges to fall naturally by her sides once more.

“I take it back. Keep your hands off me.”

“You look beautiful.”

Liz’s insult was trapped in her throat as she glanced away. “I-I …”

Rei moved closer to caress her face this time. “I mean it.”

“You’d better,” Liz muttered.

Close. She’s so close.

Liz could smell the faint scent of Rei’s sweat mixed with the thicker note of her cologne. She saw Rei’s lip quiver. She traced her face from her lips to her nose to her eyes, and when they met, Rei dove in.

A peck on the cheek.

It was over in a flash, but Rei lingered longer than she had meant to. The two girls were dipped awkwardly as they tried searching for the explanation to what just happened within each other’s eyes.

The door bursted open again.

The two girls scrambled away from each other and fixed themselves. Silent. Unmoving.

“There you are—thank god,” their manager sighed in relief, wiping his forehead with his clipboard. “We started recording again in two minutes. Chop chop—get back in there now.”

Without even glancing at each other, the two girls nodded with bowed heads as they followed him back to the Inkigayo recording room.

Liz cupped her face as she watched Rei disappear back into the building. The other girl grinned at her before skipping off.

Liz could still feel the indentation of Rei’s lips on her cheek.

=====April 5, 2022=====

“Good work out there!”

Yujin offered a high-five to each of the other five girls as they headed backstage following their first comeback showcase—LOVE DIVE. “The cars will come pick us up in an hour. Go get some rest first.”

Leeseo stretched her arms out and groaned. “Can’t wait to get home, unnie. I just want to sleep so badly right now.”

Wonyoung pinched her cheek and pulled her close. “Not until you do your homework. Don’t think I forgot.”

“Wahhh, unnie! You sound just like my mom.”

As the other girls began bickering and bantering on the way to their waiting room, Liz reached for Rei and pinched her skirt.

“Hm?”

She wrapped a trembling hand around Rei’s arm from behind, trying to pull her closer—just like what Wonyoung did to Leeseo.

But Rei remained in place.

“Hold on tighter.”

Liz frowned. “I am.”

Rei chuckled and shook her hand off, sticking her tongue at Liz.

Grumbling, Liz tugged a bit firmer this time against Rei and managed to separate her from the rest. As the other four members went ahead of them, Rei gestured behind her with a thumb. Liz immediately understood and nodded. Soon, the two girls scurried away from their group and into an unused storage room.

“Bah, I’m going to get rhinitis in the morning—I just know it,” Rei whined as she dusted off a large sealed box for both of them to sit on. “Saved you some space.”

Liz tucked her skirt—once from the back, and then again from the front—before sitting next to Rei. “Thanks. My legs are killing me.”

“I snatched this from the crafty earlier.” Rei wiggled the strawberry Samanco in front of Liz’s face. “Let’s split it.”

Maybe it was because she was exhausted from the hour-long event, but Rei could barely open the treat with her bare hands.

“Amateur,” Liz uttered before swiping the snack from her and peeling the plastic off with ease. She lifted up the ice cream sandwich and took a bite of its waffle exterior.

Thud.

When Liz looked up, Rei’s cheek was pressed into hers.

The two didn’t move.

Strawberry filling oozed out from the tear that ripped open as the two remained in place, biting into the snack at the same time. Eyes locked. Faces touching.

Liz mewled and nibbled off what little she could before looking away. “Dummy. Who said you could take a bite?”

“Who said you had to back away?”

Prod.

She felt the scaled design of the wafer against her lips. Rei was pressing it against her mouth. “Ahh. You can get half of it—just half, ok?”

But Liz glanced down at her self and fixated on the swelling of her stomach that pooled just above her skirt and lap. She gagged.

“I’m good.”

“Huh? You just bit off the wafer though.”

“I said I’m good.”

“If you say so then.” Rei shrugged and sank her teeth into the sandwich, drawing out the filling with each bite and chew. Liz just watched as Rei licked her lips clean, tightening her grip on her own skirt as she did.

Once Rei was done, she plucked the wrapper from Liz’s side and held onto it.

“Have you ever done this before?”

“What, sneak around and snack? You sound like a kid.”

Rei shook her head. “I meant sharing an indirect kiss.”

Liz froze. “Y-Ya, haha. What are you on? That hasn’t been a thing since elementary.”

“It’s not real.”

Rei flapped her lips at the other girl. “Yeah, yeah. So have you? With anyone?”

Liz pinched Rei’s arm like her grandma would whenever she got irritated. “No. Why would I have done that?”

“With someone who likes you. Boys are always like that—thinking they’re sneaky and all. Were you never crushed on before?”

“I … I didn’t go to school. Not fully. I dropped out of middle school, remember?” Liz answered. “I’m guessing SOPA’s not that exciting if you have to ask me this?”

Rei chuckled. “I’m asking because I think you would have been a popular student. Sad we never became classmates.” She gestured to Liz’s getup, which was similar to hers—a school girl ensemble. “You never ended up liking anyone either?”

Liz stared at her hanging feet as she swung them. The room was silent, but she could hear something pounding in her head. “No. Not really.”

“Then would you want to try it? An indirect kiss?”

Before Liz could respond, by the time she turned to face Rei, she felt plastic against her lips.

“Chuu~” Rei muttered as she pressed up the Samanco wrapper against the other girl’s mouth. “Now you’ve lost it.”

“L-Lost what?”

“Your first indirect kiss.” Rei replied, kissing the same surface for good measure.

Liz elbowed her before hopping off the box and stomping to the door. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the smirking Rei and felt irritated all the more. She yanked the door open and slammed it shut behind her.

Liz clutched her necktie tightly with a shaking hand.

Dummy …

=====March 14, 2023=====

“Jagi~? Where’s my jagiya?”

Even though she was far away, Liz could hear Rei calling out from all the way back at their music video set. She cringed as she watched Rei ask different staff members if they knew where her jagiya went to.

Ya, this girl—so embarrassing. Why am I the one feeling ashamed for her? Asking around for her fake girlfriend … Liz thought as she slid down into a squat behind one of the barricades. Jagi … I guess that’s better than being called ‘Lizzy Maguire’ or ‘Mary Elizabeth’.

“Boo.”

Liz jolted backwards into a pair of traffic cones that toppled onto her, meriting a hearty laugh from Rei, who helped her back up.

“Didn’t think you’d find me all the way out here.”

Shit-eating grin on her face, Rei nodded. “I thought so. You’re terrible at hiding.”

Liz elbowed her before turning around to lean on the barricade. Rei joined her. They watched as, in the distance, Wonyoung was strutting around like a diva—flipping her hair, flaunting her polished nails, crossing her skinny legs.

“Look at her go,” Liz muttered under her breath as she watched Wonyoung pose for the manager’s phone. “That’s definitely going on Instagram.”

“Oh, for sure. Easily another million for princess,” Rei seconded. “Wait, is that why you’re out here?”

Liz shrugged. “Didn’t feel like it. Feels so … unnatural. Plastic. Insincere.”

“Not with that attitude. Come on, jagi. Seojun-nim’s waiting for you. You’re the only one without behind pictures yet.”

 “Do you think I’m fat?”

Rei knitted her brows. “What?”

“You heard me—do you think I’m fat? Do you think I got fatter?”

Sighing, Rei moved closer to Liz. “Where is this coming from? I’m all ears.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Because.”

“Why?” Liz probed, shaking her head. “No one wants to say it out loud. That’s the problem. God, I feel like a … I feel so …”

She glanced down at her body and looked at her outfit. She had a cute cropped vest underneath her university jacket to pair with her skimpy black skirt. But all Liz could see was her distended belly flopping out through the gap. All she could fixate on was the way her fully exposed thighs jiggled and bounced with each step.

She shuddered immediately and shook her head. 

“You’re not fat. If you’re fat, then what am I? Obese?” Rei quipped, but Liz remained silent. “Listen, you’re fine as you are, Liz. I don’t know how else to tell you that.”

“Even if I’m ‘not fat’, I feel fat, Rei. That’s the problem.”

Liz placed a hand on her stomach and pressed down against it. It wasn’t toned, but it wasn’t fully flat either. Liz pinched gently against her skin and felt a chunk ooze between her slender digits. “See? And they keep making us wear clothes like these.”

“You mean clothes that look good on you? I don’t see the problem with that.”

Liz glared at her. Rei threw her hands up in surrender. “Got it. Not a fan of dresses and skirts.”

“Not me,” Liz replied. She looked over her shoulder, watching as Wonyoung laugh out loud while her skirt flowed behind her. “Someone like Wonyoung? Sure. Even you look good in them.”

Click.

“Oops,” Rei said, lowering the volume on her phone this time.

“Ya, what was that?”

“Just a picture,” Rei explained, showing Liz the photo she just took. She closed it before pointing her phone back towards Liz, ready to take another shot.

Liz covered her face with one hand and reached out to block the phone lens with another. “Ya! Who said you could—?”

“Do you mind if I do?”

Liz pressed her lips together. Rei lowered her phone for a moment. “There—I asked. Happy now? Do you mind if I take a few pictures?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m your jagi. That’s what girlfriends do.”

“You’re not my—.” Liz cut herself short. The words she was about to release felt sour against her tongue. “That’s just pretending.”

“Then let’s make it real.”

She lifted her phone back up. “Seojun-nim’s bound to get to you eventually anyway. Would you rather he get up in your face or me?”

“Why are you even doing this?”

Rei shrugged. “Like I said—because I’m your girlfriend. Thought you’d be more open to it.”

Nose pinched shut, Liz sighed. “Rei, I’m not in the mood. With you or with our photographer—what difference does that make?”

“Because I want you to see what I see. To make you stop feeding yourself these stupid delusions. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Liz’s breath was caught in her lungs.

She couldn’t say a word against that. How could she? Not when Rei was inching closer to her like a defeated child begging for a second chance. Especially not with the way she was sounding right now.

“Please?”

Why?

Liz knew she should say no. Liz knew she was allowed to do so.

Why are you going this far just for me?

But when Rei looked into her eyes like that, Liz hated how readily she just surrendered to her.

Balling her fist beside her, Liz grunted and nodded. “Fine. Make it quick.”

As they moved behind one of the larger prop container units they had on set to get fully out of view of anyone else, Rei took shot after shot of Liz as the black-haired girl posed for her

consecutively.

In one picture, she just leaned against the barricade with one hand, looking listlessly at

the camera. In another, she maintained the same pose and simply looked away, trying to give it

a more candid vibe. In the following shot, Rei moved closer to her, making Liz instinctively

cover herself with her jacket, but it couldn’t come all the way up, blocking only her lips.

Blushing and smiling over how silly that was, Liz loosened up and stuck her tongue out,

forming some devil horns with her hands in a playful manner.

Once their mini photoshoot was over, Rei showed her the pictures.

“Not bad, see?” Rei beckoned, scrolling through the pictures one by one. “This? This one’s my favorite.”

It was the picture of Liz with her finger horns.

“Your eyes—they’re just… Has anyone ever told you?”

Liz leaned in, raising a brow.

But Rei chuckled and shook her head. “Never mind. But hey, this one could be your profile picture. This one could go on Bubble maybe? Could send it there so the fans don’t complain about updates again. And this one—this could go on Instagram once the music video comes out.”

“Told me what?”

Rei glanced up from her phone. “Nothing.”

“About my eyes?”

Rei squinted and shook her head. “Nothing. Slip of the—.”

Liz snatched her phone and threatened to delete the photos. Rei immediately stiffened. “You were saying.”

Sighing, Rei hunched forwards against a crate. “Your eyes. They … remind me of the moon. Full. Lustrous. Kind.”

Liz snickered, staring down at her own photo. “The moon, huh? Very romantic.”

“You know how some people always try to look for the moon in the night sky? Or how they’d wait for the different phases of the moon to come and go?” Rei continued, inching closer to Liz until she was by her side again. “It’s like that. I … I keep … I keep …”

“You,” Liz uttered, filling in the gaps of Rei’s pauses. “Get to keep this.”

It wasn’t exactly a photo. It wasn’t even exactly a file. But before deleting the batch of pictures they just took, Liz changed Rei’s home screen wallpaper to the picture of her with the finger horns. 

“Now it’s real, jagi.”

=====October 22, 2023=====

“Yeorobun, it’s now time for the special fan segment of our I’VE MINE fansign. Please wait a

moment while our idols get dressed in the clothes of their choosing.”

Once the manager capped off the initial meet-and-greet portion of their fansign, the girls were

received with another boisterous round applause as they made their way backstage to get dressed.

“Unnie! That’s not fair! You have so many gifts again. Geez, save some for the rest of us,” Leeseo whined as she went through Wonyoung’s stuff. “Can I borrow this one?”

“Ya! Hahaha, Kim Gaeul! Kim Gaeul!” Yujin barked as she tried chasing after Gaeul, who snatched the puppy ears from Yujin and was proudly wearing them. “I’m the dog here! Ya! Come back here you little—.”

Liz stared at her pile. It was noticeably smaller than Rei’s. In fact, hers was noticeably smaller than everyone else’s.

What’s new? She told herself with a shrug. They should just reduce the size of my box at this point. It’s degrading.

She pulled out what little she had, trying to be thankful for them. That proved difficult given how she was gifted a large pumpkin suit, a big cutout of a mouth, an alien onesie from the Toy Story franchise, and a tall standee of herself as ‘German Liz’. 

Yeah, they should just close my box.

Behind her, the sound of fluttering feathers drew her attention. “Flamingo~.”

Liz bursted into laughter, clawing at her cheeks as she watched Rei flapping her pink feathers and bobbing her head to an unheard beat.

“Ya! Haha, stop it.”

“Bok bok~! Wait, no that’s a chicken,” Rei corrected herself. Shrugging, she took them off and tossed them back into her box. “Got an idea on what you want to wear?”

Liz looked at her box again and sighed.

Just then, an assistant manager of theirs passed by and placed a hand on Liz’s shoulder. “You can always say no. They didn’t pay for your dignity—just your time.”

Bowing politely to her, the two girls resumed their previous conversation once she left again.

Liz glanced down at her body and immediately, she felt her neck and cheeks puff out. She stopped what she was doing and lifted her head, trying to sharpen her jawline.

“Probably the onesie. It’s kind of cute.”

“Oh. I was hoping we could match,” Rei said. “You could borrow some of mine. Look through it. I don’t mind.”

Liz shook her head and lifted the alien onesie from her box. “I’m going with the alien.”

“Suit yourself.”

Liz bit her tongue as she watched Rei push her box aside after taking out her choice of clothes. Once Rei was already a good distance from her, she turned around and called out to Liz. “What? Let’s go get changed.”

“Ok …”

Once they had picked out their outfits for the first showcase, they each holed up in a dressing

room to get changed. Yujin, Gaeul, and Wonyoung had already gone first, so Leeseo was

waiting with Liz and Rei outside.

“Unnie, unnie! Look—pretty isn’t it?” Leeseo raised as she showed off her chosen ensemble.

“You’re so weird?” Rei read the dodgy text on her shirt aloud. “Huh. I guess it is pretty.”

Leeseo punched her with her pretty pink kitty paws. “Ya, Rei-unnie. I meant these!” She took a look at what her two unnies chose for themselves and lifted a brow. “Not going to match?”

“What?” Liz asked.

Leeseo pointed at the two of them interchangeably. “Match outfits. They ship you two together, you know. Like aggressively ship you. It’s so funny.”

“I don’t really mind if they do. It’s just an act anyway. Not like it’s real.” Rei managed to say without even taking a single sideways glance at Liz. “Have you just been waiting here?”

It’s not real.

Leeseo nodded. “Those three take forever. Ugh, it’s just a fansign. We’re going to get changed again later anyway.”

“Want to skip the line?” Rei offered Liz, pointing to the ladies’ room. This snapped her out of her trance. “What? Oh. Yeah. Sure.”

Leeseo turned to Rei, then to Liz, then smirked. “This is why you two keep getting shipped, unnie—.”

Before Leeseo could finish her sentence, Rei pinched her cheeks. “Shut up. You’re so weird.”

After locking the door behind them, both Liz and Rei started changing. Liz two two minutes to slip into her onesie. It fit her easily given how baggy it was against her body, so she offered to help Rei out once she was finished.

“Can you help me into my skirt while I button?”

Liz stooped down with the beige skirt in hand and fit Rei’s feet in the center of it. Once Rei was steady, Liz slowly lifted it up her shins, then her knees, then her thighs, before nestling it around her waist. Her hands were trembling the entire time.

Liz glanced away as she was leveled with Rei’s butt.

“Ack, the buttons are mismatched. Sorry, Liz, but can you help me redo them while I do my hair.”

Standing up now, Liz moved towards Rei’s front and understood what she meant as she eyed her sailor-style school girl blouse. “You still can’t button your clothes properly? And they call me the drop out.”

Rei bit onto a hair tie with her lips before mimicking Liz yapping. She held her hair up behind her and began fixing it. This gave Liz the chance to slowly unbutton and re-button her.

As she did, Liz could feel her bra against her fingers, flinching whenever it came into contact with her.

“Not good. I guess I’ll make do without a ponytail after all. How do I look?”

Liz couldn’t stop staring at her. 

She didn’t have to do all of this. She knew Rei was perfectly capable of dressing herself. Liz’s face fully flushed as she recalled the feeling of Rei’s skin against hers. She couldn’t help but feel like this was all a ploy to tease her.

If that was true, then it was working.

“Beautiful. Really beautiful …”

That’s what Liz wished she had said. Instead, what came out was, “Like a dork.”

Rei pouted. “You’re one to talk. Goofy-looking alien. Come on. Let’s join the others.”

Before Liz could pick up after Rei, the other girl was already gone. She held the remaining contents of the plastic bag between her fingers.

It was another school girl outfit. They came in a pair.

Glancing at herself in the mirror, donning her full-body onesie, she shifted between the three eyes on her hood and the polo inside the plastic before sighing.

“Alright, let’s call all the girls back out on stage. Give them a round of applause, yeorobun!”

Cheering, the crowd welcomed the six IVE girls as they stepped back into the fansign wearing the different outfits they selected. All except for Liz, who came a little later.

Stepping onto the stage with an oversized polo, a loose necktie, and the same beige skirt as Rei, she blushed and scurried over towards Rei’s side and bumped shoulders with her.

“How does it look?” Liz asked.

Rei’s expression melted into a smile as she wrapped her arm around Liz’s, pulling her in to hold her hand. “Perfect, jagiya.”

“Ya, ‘jagiya’? It’s Couplez—it’s freaking Couplez again!”

The two girls just shared an awkward laugh as the crowed jeered for their unintentional fanservice.

=====March 3, 2024=====

Boring.

Liz hugged her legs as she lifted her feet on the seat. The other girls have been away from their dormitories for a while now—often on consecutive days too. They rarely got to meet each other these days. But that’s understandable. They’ve been filling up with more work: advertisements, brand deals, promotions, variety shows, gigs, trainings—you name it. This much was to be expected now that they were getting more popular.

Resting her head against her own shoulder, Liz rubbed her cheek.

I miss them.

The image of Rei in just her underwear glancing down at Liz popped into her mind.

Liz blushed. 

I miss Rei …

Liz opened Instagram and browsed through the other girl’s page.

Pictures of Rei in a pink Puma shirt with simple jeans first came up. Liz spotted the small Naori head dangling by her waist like a keychain.

Cute.

Rei’s next most recent post was a dump of aesthetic photographs pulled together like a moodboard. Her own face was mixed in with them too.

Very chic. 

The post that followed featured Rei showing off her figurine haul. That girl loved collecting little random trinkets. And of course, it wasn’t really a Rei-trademarked Instagram post without including a selfie or two with a misty filter.

Liz chuckled as she glanced down at Rei’s enlarged face on her screen. Corny.

She accidentally double tapped the picture, liking the post.

“Oh god.”

Before she could even doubt herself, she pulled up their private chat and began messaging Rei. 

You: Sorry about the ghost like

You: Just pressed it accidentally

You: Cute photo though

You: <3

You: Hope you’re doing ok

She locked her phone and pressed it to her chest, grunting in embarrassment. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

Liz waited for a reply, but there was none.

She unlocked her phone and scrolled through their message history. Rei’s last response to her was five days ago. There have been no less than ten messages from Liz that’s remained unread since then—prior to today at that.

Biting her lip, she chatted Rei again.

You: I miss y—

Delete. Delete. Delete.

You: Had some dinner

You: It was masheed potatoes and some reheated steak

You: Yum~

You: What are you doing? Still busy?

Still, there was no reply.

Playing with her feathery bangs, Liz looked at her reflection through her phone’s camera. As she was fixing her hair, she had a mischievous little idea.

Snap.

Attaching the quick selfie to their chat, Liz’s chest tightened. Ugh … this feels stupid. I’ll just look desperate.

“Jagiya~” She heard Rei cry out in her mind.

Squinting, she hit send before she could doubt herself again. There was no turning back now. Even if a part of her was regretting it already, Liz just hoped Rei wouldn’t see it so soon. She glanced at the picture again and sighed, rolling her eyes.

Before Liz could even pocket her phone, it buzzed with a notification.

Rei: More

Biting her lip, she moved towards one of the countertops and took a quick picture. It was

blurry. She meant to retake it. But she liked the effect. Without a second thought, she sent the raw picture to Rei.

Rei: More

Liz felt the warmth rising from her chest now. More? What does that mean? Were they … not good?

Maybe Rei didn’t like bathroom shots? Maybe she wanted a different view or angle? On her way out, Liz stopped by one of the full-length mirrors insetted into a wardrobe door. She lowered herself down into a squat and took another shot of herself while holding up a peace sign.

Rei: More

Liz moved back to the living room where she previously lounged in and looked around her, trying to find something that would help. Zipping up her jacket halfway, she let the edges casually fall off her shoulder as she took a shot of herself against the elevated mirror.

Rei: More

Liz posed with her arms on the table, looking up at the camera as it was positioned by a shelf.

Rei: More

Liz took a faux candid shot of herself staring out the window.

Rei: More.

Liz dove onto the couch and pouted her lips, making them puffier before closing her eyes and lifting the camera up to her face.

Rei: More.

By the end of it, Liz had sent Rei three dozens of pictures upon her request—upon her demand. Liz couldn’t believe she had done all that. She couldn’t believe she had done that much at all either.

Just when Liz was about to take another picture, half-expecting another single-worded request

from Rei, she glanced down at her phone and saw the other girl’s response.

Rei: Mine.

Liz chuckled and leaned so forward into her phone that her lips were hovering just above Rei’s

icon.

You: Yours.

=====May 26, 2024=====

“AKARAKA! AKARAKA! ARA CHING, ARA CHO!”

“Liz—oh my god—Liz! Can I have your autograph?!?”

“Kim Jiwon-ahhh~! Selfie please, selfie!”

As Liz indulged the fans who were pressed up against the barricade trying to reach her, she chuckled and did a few poses and smiles for their cameras and phones, offering them a bit of fan service before she really had to go. When she waved goodbye to them, she watched as security tightened behind her to stop any of them from going too far.

Once she stepped inside one of the many Yonsei college buildings, the sensation of air-conditioning made her quiver.

It was a long week filled with non-stop practicing for her and the girls just to show up at today’s event. She was glad it was finally over. But as she wandered through the large and winding halls of the campus, Liz only had one person on her mind.

“Rei!”

When she saw the twintailed girl down one of the corridors, Liz glanced down at her body to check if she looked alright. Once she was presentable, she jogged up to the other girl. “Ya, Rei—where were you after the set? I was looking all over—.”

She was next to Yujin, who had her arm around her.

Liz came to a screeching stop.

Yujin pulled her closer, glancing down at her with a smile. “I told you the twintails would be cute. You really do look adorable when you style your hair like that.”

“Unnie, haha. Stop it. Someone might hear.”

Yujin shrugged. “I don’t mind. Let them.”

Liz felt her chest crack.

“Since we’re done with this week’s schedule, want to go out for samgyeopsal? My treat.”

Rei jabbed at the older girl. “No way. Are you for real?”

Yujin nodded, sliding her hand down Re’s back and resting it just above her butt. “Yeah. We don’t get to hang out too often—you and me. Just thought we could catch up again. Alone.”

Their leader glanced behind them and saw Liz trailing in the distance.

Yujin smirked and let go of Rei, holding her hands up. “I’ll catch you later. I just forgot I had something to take care of.”

Before Rei could say anything in protest, Yujin jogged away from Rei and headed towards Liz’s direction, slowing just before she could pass the third girl.

“It’s nothing. We’re just friends,” she uttered without looking at Liz. “But if you keep holding back?”

Yujin glanced back at Rei, who was on her phone. “Just go to her.”

And just like that, she was gone.

Liz felt her phone buzz in her hand. It was Rei. She clenched her case tighter as she answered the call.

“Hello? Jagiya, where are you? I was just with Yujin.”

“I know.”

Rei looked around her. In moments, she spotted Liz, who was just a short length away from her.

“Wow.”

Rei looked at her like she hadn’t seen Liz in years. There was a steady gaze in her eyes as she held onto Liz like she was about to flee from her grasp.

Her necklace. Her lips. Her dimples. Her fitted blue top. Her own white frilly skirt. Her soft woolly cardigan. Her wavy ash-gray hair. Even after their performance, she still looked great. Rei’s eyes darted all over Liz as if mapping the constellation of points that all formed into her.

Rei ended the call and walked over to Liz, holding out a hand. But Liz remained in place clutching her phone that still revealed the ended call. “Liz?”

“Udon.”

“Huh?”

“Udon,” Liz repeated herself, lips grinding together. “Do you … want to get some udon with me? It’s over now—the event. I was just … I thought you’d be … I don’t know.”

Liz squatted down and hid her face beneath her folded arms.

Without looking up, Liz heard Rei squat down right next to her. “Hey.”

Liz peeked through her arms. “Hey.”

Rei chuckled. “What’s a pretty cheerleader doing here all by herself?”

“Stop it.”

“Oh? Is she not single?”

Liz rolled her eyes. “Taken, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately? Who’s the lucky guy?”

It’s a girl.

“You wouldn’t even know. His name’s Nanya.”

“Nanya?” Rei asked, flinching. “Who’s Nanya—?”

Liz flicked her forehead gently and smiled. “Nanya Business.”

“Ouch. Salt to the wound. Just my luck, I guess. Give Nanya my regards.”

But before Rei could stand up all the way, Liz reached out to her. With a trembling hand, she tugged firmly at Rei’s wrist. “I … I don’t think Nanya can make it today. He’s got … a thing. Yeah. So, my schedule’s freed up and all.”

Rei held her hand and squeezed it. “Udon then?”

Liz nodded. “Udon.”

And the two walked around campus looking for the nearest udon shop they could find. They held each other’s hands the entire time.

=====November 22, 2024=====

It was MAMA 2024 Day 2. They were in Osaka, at the Kyocera Dome.

All six girls of IVE began strutting out in a line towards the photo wall to begin posing for the cameras once more. As the lovely ladies were all dressed in white, smiling and waving at the journalists, cameramen, and fans who came all the way over to Japan just to see them, Liz was feeling unsteady.

Her hands kept shaking.

She felt cold. She wasn’t used to wearing a dress that clung to her chest and frame. She was constantly agonizing about it slipping off and causing a wardrobe malfunction. She kept tugging upwards on the front hem.

Liz glanced down the line and saw the other IVE girls smiling and waving naturally. She glanced back at herself and sighed.

Maybe this was too soon after all. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this—.

A hand pressed against her waist. An arm had snaked itself around her lower back.

“Chin up, jagi.”

Rei smiled at her and showed her what she meant. Liz copied her and tried to muster as much confidence as she could. The crowd noticed and began flashing their camera lights more towards Liz.

Rei pushed up against her and drew her close. Her touch was possessive. It was claiming.

Liz smiled as she continued posing for the cameras. She straightened her back and projected her look outwards towards the people.

Maybe it was the Japanese air tonight, but Rei stood next to Liz as if she was hers.

But Rei’s hand was trembling against Liz’s body too.

=====February 20, 2025=====

Liz and Rei were made to stand next to each other as they both held up the Longines watches on their wrists. It was rare for them to get modeling gigs like these. It was rarer having the both of them for the same event.

They were steyled separately, so neither of them had seen the other prior to this moment.

While Liz was dressed down in a sleek black top and matching bell-bottom pants, Rei was next to her in an elegant black mini-dress and heels of her own. Anyone present at the event could tell that they made for an immaculate pair. A perfect match.

They were both stunning. And they both knew it too.

They each tried to hide their salacious glances at the other, but it didn’t work. They both knew.

They both knew.

As they strutted through the crowd of fans and guests alike, Liz stayed close to Rei. She couldn’t hold her hand, but her fingers were ready to just reach out for the other girl and grab her.

Rei bit her lip as she eyed up Liz.

“I saw that,” Liz whispered into her ear. “‘Chin up, jagiya.’”

Stunned, Rei nearly forgot what they were supposed to do. The assistant had to remind her that they had to introduce the product for the media.

“Right. Sorry.”

Once seated behind a counter to allow the host to speak to the crowd first, Rei’s hand immediately went on Liz’s thigh, squeezing it.

Liz gasped through her sealed lips. She was thankful her voice didn’t come out. It was more of a moan than anything else. She was already feeling heated from the way Rei just casually claimed her leg like this while maintaining poise.

They shared a knowing look.

Rei wasn’t the only one getting pretty daring.

Liz was all over her too.

Her batting lashes couldn’t hide how her eyes roamed around Rei, but they found purchase the most upon her neck and shoulders. They were smooth. They were pristine. They were laid bare.

I wonder what would happen if I kissed her there.

She bit her lip and tried to breathe steadily. Rei was always the one who kissed me. I wonder what would happen if …

Widening her eyes, she remained calm, trying to push away that thought. Liz shook her head as she felt Rei’s fingers digging into her pants. She just chuckled behind her sealed lips.

You’re not even trying to hide it at this point.

=====April 30, 2025=====

It was their second day in Yokohama for their third fan concert—IVE SCOUT. They were about halfway through the program by now. They were currently on break after just having performed their new choreography for TKO.

Fixing her ponytail, Liz threw her pink jacket over her shoulders. The only thing that was on her was a fitted white top that looked more like a sports bra than an actual top.

Since she was the first one to make it back to their dressing room, Liz thought she had the room to herself. She was ready to undress and try to relax, but that all changed the moment something lunged at her from the side.

Rei pounced on her and pinned her down, gently slamming her against the door.

Liz held her breath, frozen in place. Rei motioned to the knob to lock it. 

Three knocks could be heard from the other side.

“Hello? Is everything alright in there?” Wonyoung asked, trying to twist the knob. “Ya, it’s locked. Who left the door locked before leaving earlier?”

Neither of the two girls on the other side said a word.

Both of them watched as Liz’s jacket slowly slipped of one shoulder, then the other, until the only thing on her was her tiny little top.

Rei stared at Liz like she was sin.

Her breathing grew heavier. Staring into Liz’s eyes, face-to-face with each other, drawing closer with every passing second, Liz could feel Rei on her skin. Liz knew where this was going. Her fists clenched into balls by her side in anticipation.

But at the last second, when Rei fully leaned in, she swerved to the side and ended up just by Liz’s left ear.

“I-I … I’m sorry. Couldn’t help myself.”

Rei muttered it like it was a crime.

When Rei withdrew, Liz remained where she was. She didn’t pick up her jacket. She didn’t cover up. She just watched as Rei paced out around, covering her face.

“Rei, I—.”

She lifted a single finger and Liz went quiet. “It’s not your fault. I just … I just need some time.”

“But I will get you back for this, Liz.”

Without warning, Rei unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Liz behind as the blonde girl slid downwards into a squat. She cupped her hands around her face as she turned crimson red.

Rei …

=====July 12, 2025=====

Following their appearance at Lollapalooza Berlin, the two girls stumbled towards their shared hotel room, barely able to distinguish between left and right, Liz struggled to use their key card against the terminal to unlock their door.

“Hahaha, see~ I told you you were the drunk—hic—drunk one and not me,” Rei slurred as she careened into the room like a zombie.

“Noooo, I’m not drunk, just feeling a bit shaky and … woozy,” Liz refuted, slamming the door shut behind her.

Both of them dropped their bags and external wear onto the floor. They kicked their shoes towards the foyer. Before they knew it, the bickering girls found themselves unable to maintain balance for much longer as they stumbled onto the bed.

They laid there in silence, their consciousnesses guided only by their asynchronous breathing.

Rei turned her head towards Liz. “This is fun. Traveling with you—with everyone really—has been fun.”

“It’s all fun and games until we need to find where Leeseo ran off too.”

“That aegie,” Rei uttered, clicking her teeth. “I’m glad we don’t need to babysit her anymore. She’s old enough. Can’t imagine taking care of kids in the future—yeesh.”

“I kind of want kids though.”

Rei fell silent. “Maybe one or two would be fine then. I guess.”

Liz smiled, feeling Rei’s hand crawl towards hers. Who was she to refuse?

“Hey. About … Yokohama …” Rei started, eyes shifting towards the ceiling while she paused, then returning to Liz. “I was … That was … I just …”

“I don’t mind.”

Rei raised a brow.

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” Liz repeated herself. “I mean, we’re ‘dating’, aren’t we? It’s … It feels nice. The way you want me. It makes it feel a bit more real.”

Rei gulped. 

Closing her eyes, Liz let out a sigh. “But I didn’t expect you’d be that sincere about it. If you just wanted to practice kissing, I wouldn’t mind—.”

When Liz opened her eyes again, Rei was hovering on top of her. Her arms were barely holding, shuddering as they fought to maintain her weight.

Looking down at the brunette, Rei said. “Are you sure?”

Liz’s lips quivered. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure.

Turning to the side before turning back towards Rei, Liz pursed her lips together and nodded.

Rei swopped in for a kiss on her lips. Gentle. Simple. Quick.

She … kissed me …

She kissed … me?

When Rei pulled away, Liz’s eyes were as blank as a starless sky. There was a long drawn out moment of silence between them. Although Liz wasn’t moving at all, she could feel her own lips buzzing like crazy as if they were on fire.

“Well, how was it?”

Liz licked her lips and crinkled her nose. “Three out of ten. A bit rough. Didn’t taste like candy at all. Not like the movies—.”

Rei kissed her again.

“How about that?”

“Mmh … maybe a bit like sprinkles.”

Rei kissed her again.

“And that?”

“Sort of like marshmallows.”

Rei kissed her again. And again. And again. And again.

Rei had already lowered herself onto Liz’s lips and was all over them. Once, then twice, then thrice. Then, before either of them knew it, Rei was peppering Liz’s entire face in gentle kisses, covering her irresistibly.

Liz couldn’t breathe. “R-Rei … Rei …”

Rei slid a trembling hand down to her cheek and held her like that as she continued. “This … this is just payback …”

Liz whimpered a bit and gasped for air. “Rei-ya … Jagi … Jagiya—stop. Stop please, I’m still sweaty.”

But Rei kept kissing her face. Instead of stopping, she wrapped an arm around Liz’s lithe frame and hoisted her upwards until they were both standing, wobbling on their two feet again. Rei shuffled over blindly to the bathroom, not taking her eyes off of the girl in her arms, kissing her face like it was meant to be worshipped as they stumbled into the tub.

The water started running. Both of them were now soaking wet. The complementary bottle of wine they just noticed was there cracked against the edge of the tub and was bleeding into the bath.

Rei pressed her nose against Liz’s as they both chuckled.

=====October 5, 2025=====

It was their first time at the Paris Fashion Week together. It was their first time in Paris. It was their first time together.

Alone.

They were both seated, posing for the cameras. They had done this several times already. It was starting to feel more natural. It almost felt scripted even—their expressions, their poses, their greetings, their mingling, their allure.

Just like any other event, they were brought here to present, to be put on display, to be shown off to the world not for who they were but for the brand they carried.

But right now, these two girls were just waiting—waiting for this to all end, waiting for the spotlights to die, waiting for the event to come to a close.

Waiting to go home.

The blushes on their faces were more than just added makeup at this point. The warmth emanating off of them—against each other—was hard for either of them to deny.

“Could you come closer please? Let’s get a good shot now.”

Rei reached for Liz’s hand, and she took it before they posed for the camera.

As Liz reached out for Rei’s hand this time, Rei gently pushed it down and instead pulled Liz onto her lap. With the two of them now against the window of their hotel room, finished with their duties for the day, the night was theirs to claim.

And so were each other’s lips.

=====January 28, 2026=====

=====The present.=====

Returning now from the recent Valentino event at this year’s first Paris Fashion Week, the two girls exhaustedly enter their rooms, eager to get some shut-eye following the jetlag from travel.

Rei was the first to enter and barrel through the room. Without hesitation, she dove towards the bed and laid face first in it. “God this feels so great after a long day. I can feel my back easing up now. Ahh, my neck too.”

Liz just smiled, clutching her handbag.

“Hey … Rei?”

She didn’t respond. Liz could hear the faint sound of muffled laughter and Tiktok noises.

Rolling her eyes, she cleared her throat. “Rei?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, Liz interlaced her fingers together before exhaling. Nodding, she beckoned once more. “You said you wanted to get dinner after this, right? We can go to the place Wonyoung mentioned. She booked us a reservation. It’s not too far from here. We still have a couple of minutes to get there.”

All Liz heard was groaning from the bedroom. “Fine. I guess we can go. You can go get dressed first. I’ll follow.”

Just as Liz was about to get changed, she heard another sound. “What were you talking about earlier by the way? At the event?” Liz’s heart began to pound.

“Ah, that …” Her voice trailed. “Do you want it now or do you want it later?”

“I want it now.”

Liz gripped her fingers together tighter.

What are we?

She took a deep breath again and untangled the ribbon from her chest. Likewise, she began undoing the knots and ties in her hair that were made to look like a bow.

What is this?

Next came her decorated pantyhose, which she peeled off with the tips of her fingers. While seated on the floor, she watched in the mirror as the sheer fiber came off like a wrapper.

What … are we doing?

Liz then reached for the back of her cream-colored dress and found the zipper. With a tug, it came loose, allowing her to disrobe fully.

She was now stripped down to just her underwear.

Standing up, she glided over to the mirror. With one hand pressed against the reflective surface, Liz looked at her figure through the glass.

She bit her lip and managed a smile.

What are we, Rei?

She dug her fingers into the straps of her bra and traced its hem before coming to her back to unhook it. She watched as it fell down to her stomach. From there, she tugged it off and began slipping out of her panties as well.

After all these years together … you and me …

Moving like a ghost towards her suitcase, hidden underneath some folded paper bags, she took out a special article of clothing she had been saving for a moment like this. The moment she saw this, she knew she had to keep it—even if it meant stealing it from the photoshoot back in Singapore. She knew she had to have it herself. For safe keeping. For future use.

For a night like tonight.

What were we trying to do? Why were we trying to pretend?

As she put it on, pulling the neckline upwards and securing her bodice against her petite frame, she handpicked a few accessories to embellish herself with. A golden bangle came around one wrist while a necklace wrapped around her neck. She slipped into her heels from earlier, believing they would work just fine.

Were we even trying to pretend?

Liz took a deep breath and took one last look in the mirror.

Finally, it looks right. It feels right. I … I feel like I’m someone who can stand next to you. By your side.

Running a hand down the side of her other arm, she chuckled over how shaky it was. 

She was still nervous. But then again, when wasn’t she? This time, however, Liz was filled with a different type of nervous energy.

I’m finally someone who can yearn for you. Someone who can deserve you.

Someone who can love you, Rei.

She turned away from the glass now and towards the living room. Liz walked through it as countless memories came flooding back to her.

Trying to steady herself, she took a deep breath once more and nodded. I want this. I know I want this. I’ve known I’ve wanted this ever since before.

Now, I want YOU to want this.

I want YOU to want me.

Strutting to the bedroom, she paused by the door. It was ajar. She pushed it open gently with one hand and flipped the lights open, remaining by the doorframe as she leaned against it.

Rei groaned, turning onto her back and rubbing her eyes. “Are you already done? Just give me a second so we can—.”

Rei’s jaw dropped harder than it ever did before. And now, Liz didn’t turn away—she didn’t look away.

Dressed in this lovely black dress she snatched from her L’OFFICIEL Singapore and Cartier photoshoot last month, she stared right at Rei with a suggestive smile on her. “Surprise.”

“How do I look?”

Rei couldn’t say anything.

All of this silence and patience—

“Rei?”

—pining and anticipation—

“Are you ok?”

Rei’s hands were shaking against her thighs as she stood up. Although she was still in her Valentino outfit, she felt so under-dressed compared to Liz.

“Liz, you’re … you’re wearing a …”

Liz smiled, showing off her outfit with a little spin. “I’m wearing a dress. Just … just for you.”

Rei was silent—too silent. Liz pouted. “Is it too much? I should have probably ran it through someone like Wonyoung first before—.”

“You’re beautiful.”

Rei was looking right at her as she said this, inching closer and closer towards Liz, who was frozen. “You’re … God, Liz you’ve always been beautiful. So, so beautiful, that I … I can’t believe you just realized that now. That you just … that you’re just seeing that now.”

Rei lowered her head and chuckled. “I’ve always known.”

When their eyes met again, they glanced away, sharing an awkward laugh.

“I don’t suppose you’re still with that Nanya boy you mentioned before,” Rei quipped, hands trembling against Liz’s waist. “I hope he doesn’t mind.”

“Well, in the first place, it was never a ‘he’.”

Rei fell silent as Liz continued. “It was never another guy. Or another girl. It’s … it’s you. It’s always been you—.”

Like she was struck by lightning, Liz felt electricity shooting up her spine as Rei dipped her backwards, holding her tightly as she pressed her lips against hers. 

But this wasn’t the kissing they were used to. 

This wasn’t an accident. This wasn’t unintentional. This wasn’t an indirect kiss. Or a prank. Or a tease. Or an experiment. This wasn’t for the fans. This wasn’t for any audience. This wasn’t a lie. This wasn’t pretending.

This was real.

Liz moaned into her lover’s lips, unable to resist herself as well. She was feeling all hot by her collarbone and chest as they finally released the surging desires both of them harbored for years on end, watching it all come out and crash down upon them in a flurry of sloppy kisses and gropes to each other’s waists.

They danced around what little floorspace the bedroom had before crashing onto the mattress.

As they pulled apart for a moment, panting from the lack of air, Liz found herself pinned to the bed as Rei secured herself on top of her. Liz reached one hand out towards Rei and caressed the side of her face.

There was no shake in her fingers now. There was no avoiding each other now. No more avoiding their own insecurities and feelings. It was just them.

Just them.

Call me … Say my name … Just say it  …

“Jiwon,” Rei softly uttered, leaning into Liz’s hand. “Jiwon-ah … Jiwon  … ngh Jiwon … Jiwon …”

Everything just stopped. 

If Jiwon could hold just one memory for all eternity, it would be this moment—the way Rei called out her real name as she yearned for it. As she yearned for her.

Feeling the tears in her eyes, Jiwon shook her head. “I’m sorry, Rei. But I … I can’t just … I don’t want you like a best friend anymore.”

She lifted her body up, inching closer towards Rei to meet her. Holding Rei’s face with two hands now while Rei tucked her arm beneath her for support, Jiwon sobbed against her face. “Can you forgive me?”

Leaning towards Rei’s ear, she whispered. “I only got this dress so you could take it off.”

“So, take it off.”

Dropping Jiwon onto the bed, Rei looked into Jiwon’s eyes one final time. And that was all Jiwon needed to see. The fire. The passion. The desire.

And it all came burning down.

Hands over clothes, stripping them from bodies. Palms against bosoms, caressing over tenderly. Lips against lips against skin against skin. Peeled like heavenly fruits, tasted all over like sweet nectar and ambrosia. 

Jiwon watched in surprise as Rei peeled her dress off with ease.

This was no Samanco anymore.

The two girls gazed at each other’s beautiful bare forms for this first time and wasted no time fully ‘appreciating’ one another.

They were a whirlwind of desire.

Jiwon kept track of all the places Rei has been as if she were marking stamps on a passport: her forehead, her eyes, her cheek, her lips, her neck, her shoulders, her collarbone, and all other places where one should not be able to kiss or be kissed at. 

All for her.

All for Rei.

Rei directed her passion all over Jiwon like a maestro conducting an orchestra. A symphony of sounds came bursting out from Jiwon’s lips with every stroke, every caress, every press, and every clutch of her body. Rei just knew how to make Jiwon sing for her.

And as they reached the peak of their intimacy, before everything began fading to black, Jiwon could feel it etched into her body now what was already etched long ago into her heart.

The spot that Rei had carved herself into.

Now, Rei had finally staked her claim.

The last things Jiwon remembered that night were the blur of their bodies, the taste of Rei’s tongue, and the sight of Rei’s dress atop hers on the floor.

=====January 29 2026=====

=====The next day.=====

Jiwon opened her eyes in flash.

She suddenly remembered everything that happened last night. As they flooded the forefront of her mind, she clenched her eyes shut and rolled around in bed out of humiliation.

God did we just … did I just …?

When she opened her eyes again, she was alone on the bed.

Next to her rested a blank space. An indentation. In the shape of her.

In the shape of Rei.

Pushing the comforter off her body, Jiwon pinched her nose to steady herself. She was exhausted. She was dehydrated. But she felt oddly fulfilled. 

Before she could even stand on her own two feet, she felt something warm press against her cheek.

“Good morning,” Rei greeted, holding up a cup of tea.

“Rei, you …”

She sat down next to Jiwon and drank from her own cup. “I’m still here.”

Jiwon nodded and smiled, holding the warm cup in her hands.

The two girls remained like that for a good while. Allowing the Parisian sun to slip past the cracks of their curtain and beam down on them, they remained in silence, sipping only tea.

“So,” Rei started. “I don’t suppose you … I-I mean we … like … just … What am I even saying?”

Jiwon put her glass down and moved towards Rei, straddling her.

“Jiwon …”

Pressing her hands against Rei’s shoulders, Jiwon laughed and leaned into her. “I love you, Rei.”

Rei planted a long, soft kiss on Jiwon’s lower lip. “I love you too, Jiwon.”

=====

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