gojo : busy?  7:03pm

the reply came five minutes later, a grueling and irritating five minutes. 

trouble : yes. ppl are incompetent.  7:08pm

despite it all, his lips tipped up in appreciation, mind whirring with thoughts of the little pout that probably painted your pretty features, narrowed eyes and a huff. fuck, he missed you. 

gojo : that guy still giving you trouble?  7:08pm

satoru sighed gently, moving to sit properly, elbows rested on his knees as he watched the little dots appear.

trouble : he’s giving me an aneurysm.  7:10pm

satoru chuckled gently, smirking as he typed a response. 

gojo : you know what helps with aneurysms? good dick  7:10pm

your reply came instantly this time and he was more than amused. 

trouble : hmm. ill let u know if i find some then.  7:11pm

satoru smirked, heart clenching as he longed to have this stupid conversation in person. 

gojo : now don’t make me offer myself up like a whore sugar tits  7:11pm

the reply came instantly again, expected with the nickname he threw in that you despised more than anything.

trouble : right. pass. have to study now bye  7:11pm

and just like that, the light he felt momentarily passed with a small huff from him.

he was absolutely done for. 

he’d always heard people bitch about how the person you’re with shouldn’t be the sole source of your happiness, that they should be an addition. well, that simply couldn’t be true, right? 

because it seems as if, these days, satoru’s entire energy is dependent on you. 

across the room, geto glanced up from his place rotting on the couch, “what’s up? someone finally tell you santa isn’t real?” 

satoru rolled his eyes, tossing his phone on the couch beside him with a grunt, “shut up.” 

geto hummed, amused, “trouble in paradise? 

“we’re not in paradise.” 

geto hummed, “is that why you’ve been all antsy the past few days?” 

satoru glanced at his friend, annoyance flickering in his chest. had he made it that obvious? how infatuated was he that even his friends could tell he was restless without you? 

maybe it was the high he was missing, yes. 

he missed being inside you, buried in your warmth. he missed spilling inside of you and feeling that sweet semblance of relief and ecstasy.

most of all, he missed watching you come apart for him, as well. it was the few moments you were completely vulnerable with him. sex always rendered you soft and needy and fuck, he missed that part of you like a drug.

four fucking days. 

he wasn’t needy or clingy. if anything, he was always the one who suddenly disappeared on girls, deciding only with himself when he was finally bored. 

but with you? the silence felt wrong. 

later that night, he found himself staring at your text thread again. 

he typed something then deleted. and again. 

fuck, he felt restless, unreasonably so. 

it wasn’t like you owed him your time but still. 

four days felt like a lot when he was used to you showing up in his room unannounced, immediately being the object of his affections. 

his phone buzzed again and he jumped. 

except it wasn’t you, just another useless notification. 

he was absolutely pathetic. 

maybe he just liked the routine, the sureness. 

he liked knowing you’d show up eventually, standing against his doorframe with that same pretty and unreadable expression on your face, a dry comment on the tip of your tongue that always made his chest ache for you. 

maybe he just liked- 

his phone buzzed again and thai time, he didn’t pretend he wasn’t waiting for it. for you.

he checked instantly and found nothing. 

just a stupid notification. 

satoru sighed gently. 

four days was excessive. 

✺

with his demanding training regimen, satoru couldn’t indulge his sweet tooth as often as he’d liked. 

but once a week, he’d allow himself to get the most obnoxious, calorie dense and sugary drink he could find. 

so that’s where he found himself on a tuesday morning, walking into the cafe that smelled like roast beans and burnt sugar. soft music hummed under quiet conversations and the steady clack of keyboards.

you’d like this place, he concluded. 

it was calm and warm, annoyingly productive. 

as he stepped forward to order, ignoring the batting lashes and googly eyes of the barista taking his order, a small crash sounded from the side, making his head tilt to see that someone had dropped their glass.

but behind that-

“sorry, what was that?” the barista softly questioned, having not caught satoru’s words initially because she was too busy watching him. 

but satoru was long gone by now, mind far away and pre-occupied with something of much deeper importance to him than his weekly treat. 

he spotted you instantly, of course he did. 

you were tucked into the corner by the window, laptop open and wired headphones dangling in the space between. one foot hooked around the leg of the chair, something you did when you were studying for extended periods of time. your hair was falling loose from your little updo, doe eyes flicking across whatever you were reading. 

satoru felt something in his chest loosen but tighten simultaneously at the sight of you, annoyingly so. 

satoru was quick to resist the urge to leave his place in line and walk towards you like he you’d summoned him, quickly turning back to the barista and rattling off his diabetes-inducing order.

he was quick to add, “and uh, one of those banana breads with the chocolate.” 

the barista nodded with a soft smirk, eyes still assessing him like a greek god had entered the establishment.

with a quick thanks, without even letting her get a word in as he quickly taping his card, he was walking away, towards you. you, who had him going insane the last few days because of your mere absence.

you were so engrossed in whatever you were reading, you didn’t notice him approaching until all his 6’5 glory was looming over your space. 

your eyes lifted slowly, blinking once. then you leaned back in your chair a bit, expression unchanged, “you don’t drink coffee.” 

satoru slid into the chair across from you, trying to calm his excruciatingly dramatic heart at the sight of you. you were so pretty and so his. well, somewhat. 

“look at you, knowin’ everything about me, “ he smirked as he leaned back in his seat, “obsessed with me or somethin’?” 

you simply tilted your head, eyes wide and uncharacteristically soft, “what are you doing here?” 

“getting coffee.”

“you don’t drink coffee.”

satoru merely smiled even wider. fuck, he was so happy to see you. 

“trying new things.” 

your eyes narrowed slightly, “you’re getting your double chocolate frappuccino, aren’t you?” 

satoru grinned, “ugh, you are obsessed with me.” 

you merely sighed, pushing your laptop slightly to the side as you gave him your full attention now. 

four days. four days and he felt like a man coming home from war.

“are you coming this weeke-”

“no.” your reply came instantly as satoru groaned at your immediate answer. 

“why do you always do this?” 

“why do you always do this? why do 40% of our conversations consist of you convincing me to come to your stupid parties-”

“they aren’t stupid!” 

you merely shot him a look, sighing gently as you glanced down at your laptop once more. 

satoru leaned forward, going to speak when someone approached the table.

“one frappuccino,” the guy placed the large drink in front of satoru, but the frat president couldn’t help but notice the barista’s eyes were flickering to you, “and one banana bread.”

he placed the banana bread in front of satoru who instantly moved it to you. 

before he could explain that he’d gotten that for you because he knew how much you adored the little treat, the barista was blushing as he placed another matcha in front of you, “you’ve been here for hours, thought i’d get you another one on the house.” 

satoru looked as if someone had spit on his shoe, eyes narrowed and lips curled instantly as he glanced between both of you, watching as your expression softened. 

“oh, thank you, nico.” your voice dropped low, softer than usual and satoru felt like you’d punched him in the ribs. 

“course, let me know if you need anything else.” with his red cheeks and small smile, nico sighed softly before retreating. 

you seemed unfazed, pulling your new drink in closer before glancing up at the white-haired man who immediately made a conscious effort to fix his face. 

“huh.” he commented as you tilted your head. 

“what?” 

“you know him or somethin’?” satoru questioned, watching as you took a sip of your matcha, shrugging gently. 

“i’ve been coming here since sophomore year. he’s also in my neuro class.”

in moments like these, satoru despised your nonchalance more than anything. your voice was neutral, face even more stoic as you merely sipped your drink.

he couldn’t tell if you felt for this guy, if you liked him. 

fuck, he felt ill.

satoru was not the jealous type, not even a little bit. 

even with you, he watched guys look at you a plethora of times, during parties and simply on campus. but he barely cared.

he wasn’t sure if it was because he knew you and knew you wouldn’t give them the time of day or simply because he gets it. 

you were fucking gorgeous, of course guys looked at you. 

at the end of the day, it was his sheets you were tangled up in, so why should he dwell on it? 

but there was something intimate with nico that he despised. 

it didn't help that you’d known the guy longer than you’d known satoru. 

“i got you banana bread. eat it.” satoru pushed the plate forward, watching asyour eyes tilted down to the loaf, eyes instantly brightening up just the slightest bit. 

which was basically a hug and a kiss from you.

“thank you, gojo.” 

you were gonna send him into cardiac arrest with your insistence to call him that. 

nonetheless, he watched you dig into the treat, sighing gently. 

“you have to come this saturday.” 

you rolled your eyes instantly, “have to?” 

“yes. i got you banana bread.”

you eyes narrowed, “that’s not how this works-”

satoru groaned, “please. just come. it’ll get your mind off everything, give you a little break.”

you gestured to your laptop again, “i’m busy.” 

satoru allowed a small stretch of silence, watching as you went back to typing, occasionally sipping your stupid free matcha. 

“come to the party.” the words left satoru quieter, gentler as he watch you through bright lashes. 

his tone made you look up, interest piquing just the slightest bit. 

“why?” 

because i miss being around you, i miss doing everything i can to get you to laugh, i just miss you.

but he didn’t say that,. because if he did, you’d run faster than he could catch up to you. 

he shrugged gently, “i like when you’re there.” 

your gaze held his for a moment longer than usual before sighing softly, “i’ll think about it.”

satoru grinned slowly, knowing that was basically a yes from you. 

he stood up from his chair making you look up once more, “you’re leaving already?” 

and he knew you well enough to know that it wasn’t coming from a place of wanting him to stay, but surprise that he wasn’t opting for pestering you for the next hour.

“i got a party to plan.” 

you tilted your head, “since when do you plan the parties?”

satoru shrugged, “since today. got an important person on the guest list now.”

you rolled your eyes, “go away.” 

satoru grinned, backing up onwards the door, “see you tonight.”

you waved him off dismissively and satoru ignored the clench in his chest that only you could illicit. fucking finally. 

✺

giving saturo a taste of you once more had him practically insatiable.

so much so that the man found himself in the back of your lecture room beside a mildly irritated nanami the very next morning.

satoru gojo, not only willingly attending class, but a lecture for a class he wasn't even in. a class that wasn't even the slightest bit beneficial for his course of study.

alas, he was forced to listen to your professor drone on and on about medical terms he doesn't have the slightest inkling about.

he hadn't seen you, properly seen you, in almost a week. he deserves this!

"you're a nuisance." nanami murmured, glancing down at his notes lazily before looking at the professor once more, satoru turning to shoot him a short glare.

"and why's that, kento? can't a guy develop new interests?"

nanami shot the man the driest look he could muster before facing away from him once more.

satoru wasn't even pretending to listen to the professor, seated like a king, legs manspread and fingers drumming against the armrests as he watched you from his place in the back.

you were seated where you always were, the middle right section, all pretty and focused, fuck, you were everything.

there was an a girl seated beside you and some random guy was to your left, both people completely irrelevant to satoru, because well, how could they be? they were beside you.

you hadn't spotted him yet, no, because if you did, he'd be six feet under by your glare alone, he was sure.

"kento, hey-" satoru whispered, eyes still fixated on you as the blonde turned to the frat president briefly.

"what satoru."

satoru shifted a bit to get a better look at your face, "did she miss a lecture last week? the one on tuesday morning."

nanami's brows furrowed slightly, "i don't know, gojo. not all of us watch her like a hawk, you know." he huffed gently, reluctantly questioning, "why do you ask?"

satoru rolled his eyes just the slightest, "cuz she said her head hurt the night before. i told her to sleep in but i don't know if she did. cuz she said she did but then she seemed all weird that night. i just wan-"

"satoru," nanami shifted to fully glare at his friend, other students turning to glance at the commotion because satoru gojo was anything but subtle, "shut the fuck up."

with a small smirk of defiance, satoru merely raised his hands in mock surrender before turning to face you once more. clearly, he had more important matters at hand.

except when satoru turned to gaze at you this time, you were talking to the boy beside you, all attentive and wide eyed, that unintentional butter wouldn't melt in my mouth expression painting your pretty features. one that drove satoru to madness every single time.

except this time, it damn near sent the frat boy into a frenzy.

satoru sat up abruptly, as if someone poured cold water over his head, brows pinching as he watched the guy tilt his head down to speak directly into your ear and he could've sworn- did his mouth just brush against you?

"nanami," satoru whisper-yelled harshly as the blonde huffed in annoyance, ignoring his friend, "nanami kento, who the fuck is that?"

the man's words left him lowly, harshly, dripping with vexation. for that reason, nanami's interest piqued, offering satoru a glance and quickly figuring out what had the man in a state.

"that's leo. he's her lab partner. extremely intelligent."

like rubbing salt in the wound.

satoru's brows furrowed even further, jaw clenching beneath smooth skin as he watched your lips twitch slightly, not a smile, god forbid.

but close enough. enough to have satoru abruptly stand up in the middle of the lecture, his 6'4 frame, as well as him simply being himself, drawing attention as students turned to glance at his towering stance.

but his eyes were set on one thing, one one person, the only person who could have him in a borderline mental collapse like this.

you still haven't seen him, clearly preoccupied with leo.

satoru was quick to make his way to you, despite nanami's whispered warnings to wait and sit down. the seat behind you was empty, luckily for him.

"you should really pay attention," satoru was seated behind you, now leaning down between you and leo's heads, interrupting your whispered conversations, "know how you get when your notes aren't all perfect."

an agitating noise, is what you would call the distinct cadence of satoru gojo's voice.

with blank eyes and an even less impressed expression, you shifted to glance at the white-haired man seated behind you, face inches away as he leaned down.

and he had the audacity to grin.

not his regular grin, though. you noticed that much. this grin was more strained, less...him.

"gojo." you stated with no intention of asking why he was here. you noticed him sometimes, only the past couple of weeks did he start attending your immunology classes. god knows why. the man was a finance major.

despite the absolute fire in his chest, something about the way you uttered his name soothed him just a bit. just the sound of your voice alone. he was fucked.

he was here going insane over the way you said his name and you were here chatting it up with this nerd.

"you know it, sweetheart." satoru smirked before turning to glance at leo who was now watching the exchange from the corner of his eyes while pretending to listen to the professor, "are you coming over tonight?"

and yes, he was stooping that low. he had to. he couldn't have this leo guy or anyone else, for that matter, wandering around thinking they had a chance with you.

something in his ribs tightened at the mere thought.

you tilted your head at the man, considering him slowly, "you came over here to ask me that?"

your deadpan voice had all the anger and fury in his chest dissipating, he was so easy for you, grinning softly.

"amongst other things."

you hummed lowly once, eyes turning back to the professor for a moment before gazing up at him once more, "okay."

satoru grinned gently, physically reacting as he leaned towards you as if you were pulling an invisible string, "yeah, sweetheart?"

you glared at the name, "stop calling me that."

satoru could see leo physically flinch, shoulders hunching as he sunk into his seat a bit. yes, he put out the flame and now whatever was left of his confidence and hope had retreated.

just as he went to answer, his phone pinged and a glance reminded him that he was supposed to be at practice ten minutes ago.

"ah shit," satoru cursed before turning to you, eyes soft and open, only ever for you, "gotta go, trouble. be good for me."

he leaned down to give your cheek a quick kiss before rushing away, a complete disturbance to the professor and the entirety of the class that were trying to focus.

and he could feel the heat of your glare even from the back and it only caused him to grin wider.

yes, that would show leo.

and satoru didn't have time to rationalize his behavior. he wasn't a jealous person.

✺

greek row was chaos only an hour into the party. 

music bled through the walls like a pulse, bass heavy enough to rattle the floorboards while voices layered over each other in a constant roar. someone had dragged colored lights into the living room, red and purple cutting through the haze of bodies moving too close together. 

and satoru gojo was exactly where he was supposed to be.

at the centre of it all.

laughing too loud, drink in hand and arm slung lazily over the back of the couch while people filtered in and out like orbiting planets.

to everyone else, he looked completely at ease, effortless and light in the way he always was. the life of the party. 

but every few seconds, his bright eyes flicked to the open front door, waiting and watching. 

it was automatic at the point, he didn’t even notice himself doing it.

he told himself it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter if you came or bailed. you said you’d think about it, maybe this time that meant no. you were busy, after all. and it's been a few days since you said you'd think about it, but still. 

his gaze drifted to the door again. nothing. 

“my god,” choso muttered beside him, arms crossed and scowling, “you’re like a puppy waiting for it’s owner.” 

satoru immediately scowled, “shut the fuck up. you’re just pissed i made you cut your addicted ass back.” 

and it was true, he’d made choso start getting high less, threatening to kick him out of the frat. it was an empty threat, but choso didn’t need to know that. 

choso rolled his eyes, “you’ve checked the door fourteen times. i counted.” 

“see? lay off the weed and you can do math.” 

choso scowled once more, “pussy whipped.” 

satoru scoffed, leaning back further into the couch, “watch your mouth.”

“can’t believe our two frat leaders are the ones who can’t think without their dicks getting involved.” 

satoru opened his mouth to defend both him and sukuna when his eyes flicked to the door once more. and just like that, the words died in his mouth. 

you stepped inside like you always did, all unbothered and composed, scanning the room once like you were deciding if you should flee. 

but lately, satoru wondered if the looking around was because you were looking for him. 

you were a fucking dream. 

in your little skirt that tickled your thighs and the tank top that hugged you so deliciously, satoru could swear his mouth watered.

you made his chest tighten the second he saw you. 

choso glanced at satoru, thrown off by the quiet when he noticed his gaze at the door, following before scoffing, “right. and i’m the one that’s addicted and needs to lay off.” 

staoru didn’t answer, he didn’t even move yet. 

he simply watched you as you lingered by the door for a second, adjusting the strap of your tank top before stepping deeper into the house.

people moved around you without touching, you leaning away before anyone’s sweaty skin could brush yours. 

you hadn’t seen him yet. good.

satoru liked watching you before you noticed him, he enjoyed the few seconds where he could just look. 

and just as his heart couldn’t take the anticipation of speaking to you, watching you, feeling you. just as he went to stand up, someone approached you. the guy was tall, light buzzed hair, broad and objectively attractive. 

a guy from another frat, satoru recalled. 

he recognized him vaguely, some business major, harmless overall, but satoru’s blood was already pumping faster than it did a second ago. 

harmless, except he was speaking to you. he approached you and fuck, you haven’t even been here a full two minutes. 

satoru was just irritated, that was all. he wanted you all to himself tonight.

satoru gave you a second, watching as the guy touched your arm once, getting you attention as you turned to hm. 

yes, your face was still expressionless, that was good. 

he’d seen guys approach you before, you usually shut them down with a sharp look, enough to cut glass. except it seemed as if you didn’t mind this man speaking to you. 

so saturo waited across the room, jaw clenched as he grew more and more impatient, feeling his resolve slipping more and more as the minutes passed.

you both kept speaking over the music, well, the guy spoke and grinned more than you but still.

satoru wasn't the jealous type, again. truly, he didn’t care because by tonight, you'll be under him and no one else. 

and you were just being polite, that was all. 

so, satoru used the few moments to assess you lowly. 

fuck, you were so stunning, it was stupid. he thought of everything he’d ached to do with you tonight, of new ways to convince you to stay, of what show you’d wanna watch after he was done with you.

but then, something shifted. 

something truly, inexplicably and extremely offensive to satoru gojo.

you smiled.

not a polite, tight social smile you gave old people. 

not the half-assed tilt of the mouth you gave fuckass leo the other day. 

a real smile, soft and quick, but true nonetheless. 

your eyes crinkled just slightly, nose scrunching up in a way that fundamentally changed him when he’d first seen it. 

satoru’s brain went completely quiet. 

because that smile was his. 

he’d never seen you give it to anyone else but him. not when geto made his best efforts to lure emotion out of you, not even when luna tried.

granted, it was because you kept to yourself most of the time, but still. 

it had taken him weeks to get that smile out of you for the first time, weeks of stupid jokes and restless persistence.

and now you were giving it to some random frat boy that didn’t feel for you the way satoru did. 

choso quipped something out that was inevitably meant to piss him off but satoru didn’t hear a word, ears ringing and already crossing the room, his chest burning and jaw clenched so hard, his molars hurt. 

the crowd parted for him easily, stopping when he was right behind you. 

close enough that the guy looked up at him mid conversation, close enough that you felt the undeniable warmth of the frat president against your back. 

you looked up slightly, “gojo.”

satoru’s gaze travelled over the guy, studying him lowly, “hey, baby.” 

your brows furrowed just a bit as satoru placed a hand on the revealed skin of your hip, pulling you back and against him. 

satoru never called you baby outside the bedroom, he knew you hated the lack of separation. 

satoru’s gaze never left the guy throughout it all, the guy blinking once as his gaze travelled from satoru’s hand to his intimidating gaze. 

“oh, um, are you guys-” 

“no.” you stated immediately.

“yes.” satoru grunted simultaneously. 

the guy looked between the both of you before satoru shot him a deadly smirk, "she's just confused. right, baby?"

you merely glared at the man, jaw clenching just a bit.

the guy chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “right, uh, okay.” 

your eyes narrowed at satoru behind you, the guy quick to step back.

“anyways, it was good to see you.”

you simply nodded at him, watching as he disappeared into the crowd. 

silence stretched between you and satoru, tense and heavy. 

you stepped forward and away from him, turning to face him fully as satoru allowed his hand to fall from your hip, jaw clenched once more. 

you crossed your arms, “what was that.” 

satoru tilted his head, “you tell me.” 

“excuse me?” 

satoru’s fists clenched by his sides, “i didnt know i was the least funniest person ever.” 

your tilted your head, so frustratingly unbothered, “what?” 

satoru huffed once, “it took me a month to make you even slightly smile at me and some random sigma asshole comes up to you and you just-”

“smile?” 

satoru groaned, “don’t say it like i’m stupid! you don’t smile at anyone-”

“yes, i do-”

“don’t-” satoru grunted once before his eyes travelled over to the sea of people surrounding you both that simply thirsted for any drama involving alpha phi’s president, “c’mere.” 

before you knew it, the man was gripping your wrist and pulling you through the crowd, up the steps and into the quiet sanctity of his room. 

you were already scowling, irritation painting your features as satoru shut the door and turned to you, “we have an agreement.” 

an agreement? what the hell was he saying? 

truthfully, the man was a mess in his mind. he hated seeing the sight of you with another man, let alone offering him the smile you usually reserved for him. 

and now he was spewing bullshit. your agreement didn’t even say he couldn’t sleep with anyone else, let alone for you not to be able to smile at anyone. 

fuck, you were making him crazy. 

and you could see through him instantly, arms crossing as your face remained bored, “when did we agree that i couldn’t react to other people’s words?” 

satoru huffed once, hands travelling into his white locks and tugging gently, “that’s not the point! between that waiter the other day, fuckin' leo and this stupid goddamn comedian of a fratboy-” 

you huffed gently, watching the man tug at his hair harshly, “stop doing that-”

satoru ignored your words, continuing to pace in front of you, “they don’t get you, you know that right? they don’t know you like me, how your mind works, your body-” 

you didn’t particularly like seeing him this worked up. usually, you didn’t pay half a mind to his little meltdowns, he was extremely dramatic. but this was satoru stressed.

after all, you weren’t heartless.

he was frantic and pent-up with god knows what. 

“gojo, what the hell is wrong with-“

“ugh! and that’s the other thing,” satoru took a step closer, jaw clenched with effort, “stop doing that-“

you raised a brow, just the slightest bit, “i told you, you don’t get-“

“do you like any of them?”

the question made your head tilt in confusion, expression offering him nothing as you considered him a bit, “i don’t see why i need to tell you if i did, gojo. you’re acting insane-“

and yes, satoru did feel insane.

his chest was clenched with effort, hands alongside it, absorbing your words and they felt like a gut punch.

“i deserve to know if you do!”

“why?”

“because-“ his voice raised on octave before abruptly stopping himself. what could he even say?

because i want you? because i think about you always and you don’t seem to care? because if you did like anyone else, that would crush me?

“because we’re sleeping together.”

you scoffed just a bit, “yes. that has nothing to do with talking about our emotions.”

and if anything that night caused his chest to collapse, it was that.

of course. this entire dynamic was based on no emotions.

what the hell was he doing?

satoru was supposed to fuck you, not set his claim over you because as you so kindly pointed out, you didn’t belong to him. you didn’t feel for him.

but god, did he feel for you.

“right…” satoru breathed out, jaw clenching with effort, “yeah, right, no emotions.”

your eyes trailed over the expanse of his face, so clearly tense and eyes low as he watched you.

satoru knew you wouldn’t drag this on longer than you had to, keeping it at that.

you didn’t care enough to go back and forth with him, especially with him being so irrational.

he could practically see the gears turning in your head, looking for an out to leave the party and go back home, as you always did.

you always left.

and he was determined to make you stay because he needed it.

so he stepped forward, crashing his lips onto yours, groaning softly as you whimpered at the impact.

if satoru could rely on one thing, it was that you would always melt into him if he was touching you.

physical, it was just physical.

“gojo-“ you whimpered against him, almost in protest before the man bit your lip gently, leaning down to pull you up by your thighs.

“shh, baby, just let me-“

and let him, you did.

half an hour and three orgasms later, satoru gojo was breathing heavily, face dug into your neck as he tried to breathe properly.

“still with me, baby?” satoru voiced against your damp skin, perceptive as you softly turned your head.

“mhmm…” 

satoru sighed gently, his large hand traced your spine gently as he sat over the edge of the bed, “wanna shower?” 

please stay, stay, stay.

you looked up at him, stretching a bit with a lazy nod.

satoru grinned gently, leaning down to press a kiss onto the plush of your lips, lazy as his tongue dragged onto the swell once before pulling back. he tapped the swell of your ass twice before walking over to his en-suite.

he loved how uncharacteristically gentle you were after, fucked out and so entirely his. 

and when you joined him a few minutes later, gently slapping his wandering hands away when he tried to have you once more , he tried not to think of your soft voice crying out that you were his. 

and how he longed for you to say that in an entirely more sentimental context.

you left the shower before him and as always, by the time he exited the bathroom, you were gone. again.

✺

art by the most talented @/thatsallitchief

AN | this was such a long time coming ahhhhh i love jealous gojo! i last minute removed the smut cuz tbh im just not comfortable w that rn so this'll have to do ! :)

enjoy this one guys cuz im starting exams soon and i have to lock in until may 🫡🫡

edit - guys i was half asleep when i posted this ans removed the smut so the ending was kinda weird and so not them. so just changed that lol!

✶

toji had always had a big appetite, something you couldn’t blame him for, what with his incredible mass and intense training. 

so the changes started subtly. his usual six eggs in the morning became ten, bacon strips were now added to his breakfast rotation, along with buttered english muffins. 

your grocery bill tripled. 

toji would get the calories in no matter what. 

“you’re feral.” you commented as you watched him scarf down cold chicken and sweet potatoes straight from the container after getting home from your date where he’d already eaten his main course, half of yours, 3 plates of appetizers and more than half of the molten cake you’d ordered. 

the changes in his body were subtle at first, as well. 

you’re hugging him from behind one evening and your arms simply didn’t wrap around the same way anymore, fingers barely meeting. 

“you’re…wider.” 

toji snickered gently, “ouch.”

you rolled your eyes, “not like that. in a good way.”

and god, it really was good.

you watched him from bed one morning as he got ready for the gym, assessing his body without meaning to. 

what was once a shredded eight pack was now covered with a layer of bulk, no longer as visible as before but still faintly there. and fuck, you could see the purple stretch marks that littered his back and around his armpits, new following his increasing mass. 

he was getting huge. and you couldn’t help but feel absolutely insatiable. 

“what’re you lookin’ at, kid?” he grinned teasingly as he pulled on a pair of shorts. 

you smiled gently and groggily from your place in bed, “nothing.” 

you loved it when toji wore black compression shirts. 

he always looked mouthwatering in the tight material, but following the bulk? toji fushigoru looked utterly slutty. 

“baby, m’home!” 

your boyfriend’s baritone voice sounded in the living room as the door shut, a small smile painting your features as you brought down the heat on the stove to greet him. 

as you skipped over to the man whose eyes softened the moment they landed on you, smirk pulling at his handsome features, you could barely meet his eyes, stopping in your tracks. 

because holy fuck, was the bulk ever so clear in that shirt. 

the once tight compression shirt now looked like it was busting at the seams, stretching across his chest. 

the sleeves were tighter at his biceps, you were surprised there was any sort of circulation, fabric pulling when he crossed his arms. 

“baby?” he walked towards you as you gulped gently, eyes shifting to look up at him as the man brought down a large hand to cup your face. god, even his fingers were thicker. 

“made your favorite.” you chirped out, swallowing gently as he smirked, leaning down to nose at your jaw, trailing kisses to your plush lips which he kissed with menacing fervor. 

“thank you, baby,” he murmured against you, leaning down to grip the plush of your soft thigh, pulling you up with one hand till your legs wrapped around his wide waist, “think it can wait a bit?” 

you bit your lip gently, nodding softly. 

that was the other thing. his libido increased ten-fold and the man was already insatiable for you before, getting it in practically every night for hours on end if you'd let him. 

toji shifts you higher with one hand like you weighed nothing, like you were something soft meant to sit in his grasp. your thighs tighten around his waist automatically and it hits you again just how thick he’s gotten. 

his waist used to be lean and sharp, now it was dense and solid. 

you feel it under your palms when you press against him. 

your hands slide over his chest as he kissed you messily, tongue licking at your lips as he walked you over to the bedroom. the shirt clings to him unforgivingly, outlining the swell of his pecs, the way they’ve filled out. his lats flare subtly when he walks, brushing the doorframe on the way to the bedroom. 

and when he lays you down, the mattress dips more than it used to as he leans over you, heavier. never soft but dense in a way that makes your breath hitch when his thick forearms bracket your head, veins more pronounced and lines sharper. 

“y’keep starin’, pup.” he mutters, thumb brushing over your lip. 

“you’re enormous.” 

a low chuckle rumbles from his chest, deeper lately, too. or maybe it just vibrates more because he’d built like a damn furnace. 

“haven’t seen enormous yet, baby.” 

your hands slip under his shirt as you groan softly at what you feel. all thick traps, a fuller chest, muscle stacking on muscle under warm skin. there’s a layer now, not shredded lines anymore but something more imposing. 

“you feel insane.” 

his jaw tightens at that, pleased, “yeah, baby?” 

you hummed, wanting to press closer but you didn’t have to as toji leaned down himself, you were almost breathless. 

sometimes you think he forgets just how big he’s actually gotten, heavy as you let out a shaky breath at his weight above you. 

“you’re gettin’ even smaller.” he mutters against your skin, pulling back to pull your shirt up and over your head. 

you rolled your eyes. “m’not.” 

he hums, “feels like it.” 

you’re sure it does. 

because you do feel small, in his arms especially. 

contrary to popular belief, toji was the one who loved to cuddle to sleep. 

you always loved having your own space before falling asleep, up until toji. 

and you’d gotten used to it, except now, it was almost unbearable. 

the man was huge and he radiated heat like a bear. 

you wake up at night half-suffocating. 

not because you can’t breathe, but because you’re trapped. folded into him like something he refuses to lose in his sleep. 

his arm slung over your waist, heavy and unmoving, one thigh wedged between yours, chest flush against your back. 

and he is burning. 

you squirm, “toji..”

no response, the man was absolutely dead asleep. the kind where his breathing was slow and heavy against your neck, jaw relaxed in a way it never was when he was awake. 

you shift away from him and his grip tightens, almost like instinct. 

his hand spreads across your stomach, dragging you impossibly closer as your back molds against his chest. and you can feel how much thicker he’s gotten.

there’s simply more of him now. more chest, more arm, more thigh.

you feel so completely engulfed. 

“god, you’re a furnace…” you whisper as you boyfriend exhales from behind your, a low rumble vibrating through his broadened chest. 

his metabolism’s insane right now, always hungry and always warm. 

your calves brush against his and it’s like touching heated marble, solid and warm and immovable. 

you try to wiggle free because truly, you’re overheating, but the man wouldn’t let you. 

half-asleep, he nudges his face into the crook of your neck, breath hot against your skin. his hand slides down to your hip lazily, fingers flexing once. 

“m’cold…” he mutters as you gasp gently. 

“you are not cold.” 

toji makes a low displeased noise and bruised his face further into you like you’re the ridiculous one. his torso pressed into your back even more, thigh anchoring you and pelvis solid and warm against you. he doesn’t even mean to cage you in, he simply does, by default. 

you sighed as his fingers moved under your tank top, palms calloused and slightly rough against your soft skin. 

that was another thing you’ve noticed. 

it happened when he brushes your hip in the kitchen, palm dragging over the bare skin above your shorts and you flinch gently, “ow.” 

his head snaps towards you immediately, “didn’t even touch you.” 

“you did.” you insisted, grabbing his thickened wrist and turning his palm up. 

the pads of his fingers are rougher and thicker, the center of his palm more textured than before. 

you already knew he was training like a menace, spending hours in the gym and truly, it showed. 

“you’re sandpaper.” you accuse as toji smirked gently. 

“occupational hazard, huh?.”

you drag his hand against your cheek experimentally, his hands warm and broad and so, very rough. the contrast makes your stomach flip. 

“y’hate it?” he questions after a second and there it was. 

another thing you took note of. the almost invisible flicker of uncertainty that arose when he began putting on muscle. 

you couldn’t blame him, the man maintained a low body fat for so long, disciplined and packed with lean muscle. this was different. 

but fuck, how could you explain that this was the hottest you’d ever found him?

in all his broad, packed and rough glory. he was everything. 

you pressed his palm flat against your neck, “do that again.”’ 

he stares down at you for half a beat, eyes darkening before dragging his hands slowly from your neck, down to your collarbones, rough fingers tracing your soft skin, before dragging up to your neck once more and squeezing the sides gently. his rough patches of skin scratched against your softness and you swallowed as heat filled you. 

the texture against soft skin sent shivers straight through you. 

his hands felt like something that lifts heavy things, breaks things and protects things. 

“feels rougher…” 

his thumb hooks lightly onto the waistband of your shorts, not pulling yet, but you were aware of their intention. 

“problem?” 

you shake your head immediately, “no. i just…”

“speak up, brat. just what?” toji’s voice was low and laced with heat as you fought the urge to whine gently. 

“i like knowing you’re strong.” 

his jaw tightens in utter restraint, hand moving up your back now, slow and testing. feeling for your reaction every time that rough skin trails over you. 

you lean into it without meaning to. 

and his hands, rough and strong from months of work, settle low on your back. 

with one hand, he pulled you up and against him as you giggled breathily against his neck, sighing as he stripped off his shirt, revealing miles upon miles of muscle. heavy, broad and secure as he kissed you with heat. 

the bathroom light was unforgiving the next morning.

you didn't mean to actually inspect yourself, you simply needed the bathroom.

but now, you were now standing in front of the mirror in a pair of panties and a soft cotton tank, staring.

"oh my god..." you muttered as your fingers trailed over your collarbones first.

there was a faint bruise blooming there, not dark but visible.

lower, along your front, finger-shaped bruises littered your hips and ribs, faintly purple as you gaped.

you turn slightly to lift your thigh, spotting more finger-shaped marks along the delicate skin.

and fuck, you knew if you were to turn around-

you gasped softly at the marks along your asscheeks, prominent and dark, full hand-shapes against the globes of your ass.

but the worst one of all, a product of your stupid lustful haze was the indentation on your neck. you looked like someone had attempted to kill you.

toji's handprint was evident on the delicate skin of your neck and it was absolutely sinful.

your breath stuttered, not because it hurt but because you remembered.

the way his grip tightened when he lost control, the way he'd pulled you against him when you attempted to shift away, as if you weighed nothing to the man. the way his hands, bigger and thicker lately, stronger, dug into you without him even noticing.

the bulk had only made him stronger and he doesn't even feel it.

you swallowed.

"you okay?" toji called out, voice low and rough from sleep, still sprawled out like a freshly fucked king on the bed.

you turned to face the man, pretty eyes narrowed, "look at me. i look like i got mauled."

toji shifted then, eyes focusing and the smugness seeped into his expression, "seemed like you liked it."

your glare deepened then, "toji."

he pushed himself upright, slow and deliberate, muscles shifting under skin. he plants his forearms on the mattress as he gazed at you, "didn't hurt you, did i?"

you shake your head, "no. but you definitely got..." you gesture vaguely at yourself, "enthusiastic."

his mouth twitches and fuck, he was too hot for his own good.

you walk closer then, sighing gently as you climbed back onto the bed on your knees, trying to ignore the fact that your entire thigh barely spans half of his.

you press your palm lightly into his chest, the firmness making you sigh as the broad man pulled you against him once more, heat radiating against you.

yes, you decided, you loved winter.

✶

an - needed to get this one out i had an URGE! this is simply me projecting cuz i wish men understood that i'd rather a broad strong man than a lean muscle man 😋 this v much applies to kuna too.

you saw red. 

“what the fuck is wrong with you?” you snapped, storming up and grabbing his wrist with zero regard for audience or ego, “are you insane?!” 

you glanced at the man on the floor and faintly recognized him as the guy who came up to you an hour ago, right before sukuna dismissed him like a mountain behind you. 

sukuna let you pull him through the leering crowd toward the staircase, no resistance or pride as he looked down at you with a soft smirk. 

“guy grabbed you.” he stated calmly as you continued pulling him towards the door.

“he was trying to move past me.”

“he touched your ass.”

“he touched my lower back, you psychopath.” 

sukuna paused, considering your words for a moment as you finally pulled him up and through the quiet hallway, dimmer and calmer than the commotion downstairs. the second you moved past his bedroom door, you turned to glare at the man who closed and locked his door instantly. 

“you can’t just fight people for existing near me!” 

sukuna leaned against the door, face bloody and half-way bruised, head tilting as he studied you like this was the most important conversation he’d ever had.

god, he looked hot, you hated to admit. 

despite his overall ruggedness, the rough and calloused skin, the blood and all, his eyes were soft. fuck, they were always soft for you. ever since you were both twelve years old, he’d always been soft for you.

and for a second, your anger wavered, “you’re bleeding.”

his gentle smirk appeared quickly, “you worried bout me?”

you rolled your eyes, turning to his bathroom, “sit.”

sukuna didn’t question your order, moving to take a seat on the edge of his bed, resting back against his hands as his eyes never left your figure. 

you bent down to grab the first aid kit under his sink and fuck, his pants tightened. 

not only at the tight hug of your skirt or the flashbacks he was getting at your current position, but he was hard because of how he felt for you. fucking pathetic. 

he was hard because you cared, because despite your anger, you were worried about him, for him. fuck, he loved you so much, he was sick with it. 

with a soft groan, you kicked off your heels by his door, sighing in relief as he smirked when you began walking towards him, “this isn’t funny, ryo.” 

“not laughin, baby.” he muttered, hands immediately placing themselves on your hips as he tugged you forward to sit on his large thighs, sighing gently as you succumbed.

you maneuvered yourself to face him fully, thighs slotting across his own as you opened the first aid kit, ignoring the way sukuna’s warm hands travelled up and down the expanse of your back to your ass.  

the antiseptic was cold against your fingers as you pressed it gently to his lip, movements annoyed but gentle, fingers grazing his jaw as you cleaned up the remnants of scarlet staining his skin. 

“what did we say about fighting, kuna?” 

he watched you like you hung the very moon that shone through his bedroom window, illuminating your pretty face enough to have his chest clench. 

“ask questions first.” he murmured as you hummed, continuing your ministrations and he continued his own, hands wandering but gentle and eyes never leaving you, “forgot, baby.” 

you rolled your eyes, allowing the silence to settle between you both, warm and familiar despite the intensity of the situation. 

his thumb traced the slope of your waist, slow and deliberate, “i’ll do better.” 

you shot him a look, “m’sure you will.”

sukuna’s smirk widened, not a semblance of sympathy or regret in his eyes as he leaned towards you, closer, until his lips grazed your own, “gotta forgive me, baby, it’s my first time bein’ a boyfriend.”

you couldn’t help the flutter of your heart, the ache in your chest as you watched him through your lashes, blood-dark eyes soft. only for you.

the years of pining, of mutual hurt and pain only made ryomen sukuna even more insatiable for you when you finally got together. 

you thought he’d be the same, maybe even lessen his intensity.

you were so extremely wrong. if anything, the man’s emotions for you skyrocketed, as if his fears of losing you only deepen now that you were actually his. 

god help you when he puts a ring on your finger. 

with a small huff, you pulled back, leaning to the side to grab a bandage and he took the opportunity to pull you closer, forehead brushing your collarbone as he breathed you in. 

“fuck, y’smell good, angel,” he murmured, “makes it really hard to watch you be mad at me.” 

“well, try harder.” you shot back with a huff, sticking the bandage on his knuckles with unnecessary force as he hissed sharply, pulling back from you.

“fuck, brat!” 

“you like it.” you grinned sweetly, lashes fluttering all pretty and doe-eyes shining with something that made him ache. 

his hands stilled on you then, not gone but gentle, pausing. his jaw clenched, smirk tugging again, gentler and even slower this time. 

“yeah,” he admitted, looking at you through his heavy-lidded gaze, “like a lot of things.” 

you glanced up at him momentarily, heat flushing up your neck and to the expanse of your cheeks, caught for half a second by the way he was looking at you. 

not hungry nor smug, but reverent. like he still couldn’t believe you were his, on him, with him. taking care of him. just like you’d been doing for ten years now, since you were both adolescents who weren't quite old enough to fully understand emotions that littered in both your hearts, heavy and real. 

it made your chest feel strange. 

“you can’t just fight anyone who looks at me, ryo…” 

and despite the intended firmness behind your words, they left you soft and low, almost a whisper as you softened against him, chest drawing flush against his. 

“i don’t.” he replied as you arched a brow with a low hum, “just assholes who touch you.” 

“he didn’t touch like that.” 

“still, you didn’t like it.” sukuna stated, low and steady, words absent of heat or argument as his large hand stroked up and down your spine. 

there was something unsettling about how calm he was about it, not explosive or defensive, but certain. 

“you don’t know that.”

sukuna watched you momentarily, just for a second or two before leaning back once more, ruby eyes never leaving you, “didn’t need to.” 

your heart stilled, a soft sigh leaving you as your body naturally gravitated towards him when he moved back, chest now against his once more as your arms loosely circled his neck, fingers dipping and softly tugging at the hairs at his nape. 

“why?” the word left you as a whisper, one of sukuna’s hands leaving the bed to brush against your hip once more, thumb moving under your shirt, anchoring himself. 

“because you’d already gone stiff,” he stated lowly, almost lazily, “your shoulders went all tight and y’started biting the inside of y’r cheek which you only do when you're uncomfortable.” 

you swallowed, fingers stilling in his salmon locks, wide eyes fixated on his features as you shifted closer, "you noticed that?” 

“notice everything.” he stated fast, mind not taking a moment to ponder your question, “been my job since i was twelve.” 

your breath caught before you could stop it, glossy lips parting as you mulled over his words, trying to ignore the way your entire body felt on fire for the man before you. 

“your job?” 

he huffed, like it was obvious, “yeah. plus, m’your boyfriend now, remember?” 

a smirk was quick to paint his handsome features once more as you scoffed, leaning back with a roll of your doe eyes, the heat in your cheeks quick to betray you. 

“you’re taking the role a bit too seriously, don’t you think?” 

sukuna shrugged with a smirk, “most serious job of my life.” 

your annoyance cracked, just barely, as you leaned into him once more, face growing closer to his as your grinning lips brushed against his own, “ridiculous.” 

“fuckin’ hopeless.” he agreed lowly, hands moving down to palm the globes of your ass, finally tilting his head to press his lips against yours. 

with a small hum, you moved your plush lips against his own, bottom one slotting against his as his tongue brushed against you, groaning lowly. 

with a wet gasp, you pressed a thumb under his chin to tilt his face, touch gentler now as you caught your breath, “so, what? you’re just gonna beat someone up everytime?” 

sukuna hummed, swollen lips pressing against you once more with fervor, as if you parting from him caused him pain. 

“mmm, no.” he kissed you once more, “only when it matters.”

“and who decides that?” 

he didn’t answer right away, hands gripping tighter as he pushed up and pulled you on the bed so you were against the sheets, your boyfriend now hovering above you, just barely an inch of space between you. 

the man was flush against you, nosing at the heated skin of your neck, “i do. but i’ll listen next time.” 

your breath stuttered as his hips brushed against your own, “you will?” 

“mhm.”

you let out a breathless sigh as he began pulling your skirt down your soft legs, “good. or else-”

“or else what?” he kissed down your neck, your jaw as your breathing grew heavier. 

you allowed the man to tug your shirt up and off of you, damp lips trailing kisses down the expanse of your stomach, eyes never leaving your own. 

fuck, he was insatiable. you hated how much the dried blood on his face only made your panties even more damp and fuck, if he couldn’t tell. 

“or else i won’t let you fuck me.”

the smirk fell from his face, leaning up just a bit as you reached a hand down to tangle in his pink locks, smiling all prettily at the man. 

“you wouldn’t.” he stated, uncertainty apparent beneath his rough tone, jaw clenching as you caressed his cheek with every ounce of emotion he pulled from you. 

“wanna find out, ryo?” 

sukuna groaned against you, head tipping so his forehead rested against your abdomen as you giggled gently. 

and just as you parted your lips to further tease the man, his maroon gaze met your own, painted with a hunger that had a whimper become stuck in your throat. 

 “one thing wrong with that, baby,” he whispered against your skin, goosebumps rising as you gulped gently, hand still playing with his locks as you looked at the man, heavy and real between your legs, “you wouldn’t last.” 

your breath hitched as sukuna smirked gently, leaning down even more so he was face to face with your lacy black panties, “nah, you’d miss me too much..”

“n-no-”

“yeah, baby, i’d give you a day, tops.” 

and you couldn’t even argue further as his fingers hooked on the lace and pulled till the material ripped, causing a wet gasp to leave you. 

fuck, you loved having ryo as a boyfriend.

☾

sukuna decided very quickly that silence from you was worse than yelling. 

at least yelling held shape, sharp edges, something he was used to grabbing onto and wrestling down, especially from you. your silence was just space. and it followed him everywhere.

you walked across campus like nothing was wrong, back straight and tote slung over one shoulder. your expression was neutral in that way he knew meant you were anything but fine.

you didn’t look at him when you stepped out of the lecture room, despite the man having been waiting outside the door for the better part of an hour. 

you ignored him when you saw him, when he fell into step beside you and when you began walking back to your place.

sukuna’s jaw couldn’t have been tighter, matching your pace easily and hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. 

anyone that looked at ryomen sukuna would immediately know he was absolutely pissed, as he usually was. 

you knew him better. you didn’t have to spare him a glance to know that he was losing his fucking mind inside. 

you crossed the quad, leaves crunching under you as you paid the man beside you no mind, despite the ruby eyes that wouldn't leave you. you were surprised he hadn’t tripped over yet. 

sukuna noticed everything, how you kept your gaze forward, how you shifted your bag higher on your shoulder instead of letting him hold it for you like he usually did, how you didn't lean into him when someone bumped past too close. 

fuck, he felt like dying. 

“your actin’ like a fuckin’ child.” sukuna finally stated, tone rough and defensive as your apartment building came into view, “if you have somethin’ to say, just say it.”

no response. he exhaled slowly through his nose, irritation flaring and that tight feeling under his ribs growing even tighter. 

“yer fuckin’ killin’ me, brat,” sukuna huffed out as you pressed your fob onto the buzzer, allowing the door to push open, the man following you up the front steps of your building as you made no sound to protest or encourage him, “this is ridiculous.” 

you didn’t reply, expression unreadable as sukuna’s fists clenched by his sides. 

sukuna stopped in front of you without thinking, stopping you from entering your building and forcing you to pause. 

“hey.” 

you looked at him then, finally. and god, that was worse. 

your doe eyes weren’t furious like he’d predicted, not cold either, but distant. like you’d moved him somewhere slightly out of reach. 

his chest burned. 

“what.” the blunt word left you with an emotionless lilt he despised, jaw clenching as he looked down at your pretty face. 

fuck, he didn’t even get to kiss you today and his entire being was aching for you. 

“you’re not gonna hear me out? seriously?”  sukuna questioned you, voice low and aching as his feet tapped against the floor in utter lack of patience for your silence. 

“you said enough last night.” you replied calmly, moving past him to enter the building, the man hot on your heels, “and i don’t have anything to say to you.” 

your words lodged in his throat like something sharp and visceral. 

you stepped inside the elevator and sukuna followed without asking, of course, he always followed you. you, you, you. 

he told himself it was habit but it wasn’t. 

it was quiet as you rode up to your floor and as the doors opened, you stepped out and he followed once more, quiet until you unlocked your apartment door. 

you dropped your bag on the chair and moved towards the kitchen after toeing off your shoes, sukuna doing the same as he locked the door. he didn’t need to make you more mad. 

sukuna leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed as he watched you make your tea, utterly unbothered by his looming presence. 

this was fucked. 

“you could just yell.” 

you didn’t look at him, “i don’t need to yell.” 

sukuna scoffed, “please, woman, you love yelling at me.” 

your eyes shot up with a glare, sukuna only doubling down as he moved towards you, all 6’5 and muscle but you remained unfazed. 

“say it.” he muttered as you huffed. 

“say what, kuna?” 

“that yer pissed at me,” he snapped, then immediately softened, frustrating bleeding into something rawer, “tell me i’m an asshole, tell me i fucked up, i know i fucked up!”

you studied him for a beat, two, eyes tracing over the familiar set of his jaw, the tension in his shoulders. the way he looked like he was bracing for impact. 

“i shouldn’t have to teach you not to hurt me, ryo.” the words left you quietly, eyes soft and unguarded now as you looked up at him. 

that did it. something in him cracked then, not loudly or dramatic but just enough to have him visibly soften, visibly ache for you. 

sukuna’s brows furrowed just a bit, a breath leaving him almost painfully as he stepped forward, crowding your space instinctively. 

he wanted to force himself to be still, controlled but fuck all of that. he wanted your entire soul flush against his, he wanted you. he ached with regret and his chest was tight with the thought of you not wanting to speak with him. 

“m’tryin’, baby,” he breathed out, leaning down to pull you up and against him, setting you down on your kitchen counter as you tilted your head, wide eyes all soft and trusting, “i don’t-i don’t know how t’do this, you know me, baby, i don’t know how to be-”

and when ryomen sukuna began stumbling over his words, you sighed gently, hand leaning up to press against his chest as the other cupped his jaw softly, tilting his head so his eyes met your own. 

“i know, ryo-”

“i don’t like it,” his jaw clenched hard, one hand gripping your neck softly to keep your eyes locked on his as the other gripped the countertop tightly, “don’t like you not lookin’ at me.”

your hand fisted the fabric on his chest as your chest tightened, “don’t give me reasons not to, then. it doesn’t have to be so hard, ryo. i don’t remember a time when i didn’t love you and that’s not gonna change. you don’t have to be scared of losing me or something.” 

relief hit him like a punch to the chest. 

he didn’t realize that the whole day, he wasn’t irritated as much as he was fucking terrified. he couldn’t lose you and every little fight seemed big to him because of that very fear he’d held in his chest since he was a teenager. 

“m’sorry, baby.” he murmured, so uncharacteristically gentle that it made you smile slightly, his hands moving to cup your cheeks as your own gripped his wrists. your eyes softened despite yourself. 

“did ryomen sukuna just apologize?”

the man’s grip tightened on your cheeks as you grinned menacingly, giggling when he growled lowly, leaning down to crash his lips against your own, insatiably hungry for you. 

“mmm, satoru will love this.” you teased against his lips in a low whisper, breathless as he kissed you over and over again. 

“go ahead, brat,” he groaned against you, picking you up so your thighs wrapped around his hips as he made his way to your bedroom, “no one’ll believe ya.”

☾

the party had somehow grown louder between your second drink and the moment you decided sukuna’s lap was the most comfortable place in the room. 

you couldn’t remember when you leaned into him, snug against his lap as he sat on the couch in the living room, legs widely spread and leaning back against the furniture. 

you only knew that you were there now, warm and buzzing, cheek pressed against his chest as the music thudded through the frat house like a second heartbeat. 

sukuna sat still, broad and unmoving, one hand firm on the expanse of your back, slowly moving up and down as the other nursed a beer he’d occasionally bring up to his mouth to sip. 

the man looked the same as he always did, stone-faced and intimidating, eyes half-lidded and unimpressed with everything and everyone around him. people avoided him and gave him space without thinking about it. 

but people did notice the soft way his hand caressed you, slow and deliberate. how his eyes glanced down at you from time to time, how every time you’d drunkenly say something, he leaned his head down to hear you properly. 

“why do you always look so scary?” shoko drunkenly stated from her place on the armchair, eyes squinting as she watched you two, words aimed at the menacing man behind you.

you hummed against sukuna’s chest, nose pressed into the heated skin of his neck before lifting your head with a lazy smile, “no, he’s not! he’s not scary…”

sukuna’s jaw flexed but he merely leaned down, nosing at your cheek, almost silently urging you to stop speaking.

shoko hummed, “you’ve known him, for what? fifty years? how do you not think he’s scary?” 

you giggled gently, shifting to settle yourself even more comfortably in sukuna’s lap, one arm draped around his neck, “he’s nice and warm. and he smells nice.” 

sukuna’s grip on your back tightened, subtle and grounding.

“yer talkin’ too much, brat.” he muttered into your ear as you giggled gently.

“you like my voice.” 

he fucking loved your voice. but not when you were ruining his well-curated image of being an absolute asshole. he liked it that way. 

utahime blinked from her place on the other side of the couch, taking a sip of her drink, “sukuna’s always been soft for her, shoko.”

sukuna glared at utahime from his place beneath you, a look that could have grown men trembling. utahime merely shrugged. 

“see? hime knows! cuz i tell her how sweet you are all the time!” you stated proudly, tipping your head back just enough to gaze up at your tense boyfriend. 

his eyes met yours for a second and the entire room disappeared, “baby, you’re drunk.”

“mmm,” you agreed, unbothered, “but m’right.” 

satoru chooses that moment to appear, leaning over the arm of the couch with a grin that spelled nothing but trouble. his eyes flicked between you and sukuna before drunkenly gasping, “aww, look at our princess on your lap, vice president!” 

sukuna instantly glared at the dumbass before him, hand gripping you even tighter as satoru drunkenly hiccuped, tongue painted green from the excess amounts of jello shots he’d downed. 

“shut the fuck up, gojo.”

satoru huffed out a short laugh, “fuck, look at that size difference, the logistics must be-” 

“i’ll ring your fuckin’ neck, asshole.”

sukuna’s threat had you giggling softly, gazing up at him with a dreamy smile and hazy eyes. 

“sukuna’s so rough,” you stated earnestly, voice carrying just enough, “but he always checks if i’m okay and he likes it when i-”

sukuna stood up before you could finish, scooping you up in the process as you squealed gently.

“we’re done.” he stated with a scowl as your arms wrapped around his neck, cheek pressing against his pec as your eyes drooped instantly. 

shoko and satoru were howling as you looked back at them, waving lazily as sukuna began making his way towards the steps that lead to his room, “goodnight!” 

“fuckin’ menace.” he muttered against your hair, voice not carrying any of the irritation he tried to muster, words dipped in softness instead.

“m’sorry…” you whispered against him, the familiar smell of him only lulling you further into a dream as he opened his bedroom door. 

“yeah, yeah,” he murmured, walking inside and closing the door, “yer gonna sleep before y’ruin my reputation permanently.”

despite how much ryomen sukuna was known to be an utter asshole, he was always only ever soft for you.

☾

an - ahhhh i loved this smm! FINALLY these two get some fluff and get to be happy omg 🤭🤭🤭 this is just a little glimpse of them post-relationship but the chapters will still follow a seperate storyline BEFORE they get to this point!

anyways ch7 coming sooon! hope u guys enjoyedd!

as always plsss lmk what u think i love to read ur comments + asks + thoughts! 🥹

art by - @/winterrbluess

“satoru!” you cried out with a low whimper as your legs kicked once in overstimulation as you all but toppled over the edge, head thrown back in pleasure, the menace above you groaning with a soft grin. the little shit. 

satoru prided himself on knowing women, of course he did. he would have to be stupid not to with the experience he had. but something about you was different. 

maybe it was because he’d never had a steady fuck, but at times, he didn’t know where you ended and he began. satoru acknowledged that it was a problem when he started noticing things he hadn't before. 

like the clench of your jaw when you were overstimulated, the adorable way your eyes would grow all big and teary when you were close and his favorite thing of all, the way your legs kicked when you just felt too fucking good. 

he found himself chasing those little kicks, going harder and faster until he felt you kick against him with that tiny throaty whimper in the back of your throat. fuck, it was an art.

and you knew it too, what with the way he grew impossibly harder whenever your legs pushed out. a menace, really. 

“i know, baby, i know…” satoru soothed against your neck, voice low and amused like he lived for the dragging torture of it all, hands tightening on your hips as you bucked below him, “there she is, c’mon, baby, look at you…” 

you exhaled softly, whimpered maybe, fingers pressing into his abdomen as his thrusts slowed to a low grind allowing you both to ride out the wave of euphoria, now all too familiar, even comforting. you liked the aftermath, basked in the floaty feeling you couldn’t control. 

you could tell satoru was already gazing down at you, his large hand caressing the soft skin of your side, slow and deliberate as you tried to catch your breath. 

yes, the quiet. that was the sole reason you decided to push aside geto’s words from the other night. 

if this is bored then god help us when he's actually invested.

you allowed yourself a day to dwell on his words, to spiral into a pit of what if’s before you willed yourself not to run. every ounce of you wanted to flee. 

fuck, the mere thought of satoru caring for you in that way made you shiver in protest. god forbid. 

one day. you let one day pass before you decided that suguru had to be mistaken. 

how could someone like the notoriously noncommital satoru gojo go from what you knew him to be to something so completely out of character in the short time you knew him? 

it was simply not possible.

so you let it go because frankly, the sex was all too good for you to throw it all away because of a throw away comment that very possibly meant nothing. 

“good job, trouble.” satoru muttered breathlessly as your eyes finally met his own, the man holding his palm towards you in a boyish attempt to high-five you, a lopsided grin on his face. 

you huffed softly, hand still warm against his abdomen as you pushed gently, eyes blank with a nonchalance that irked the white-haired frat boy to no end. 

“get off me, gojo.” 

he was still inside you, half throbbing despite having finished twice inside you. 

and you could feel it. which is why you so desperately needed the man to get off, his weight pressing against your smaller form. 

it was like a timer started the moment you came down from the high he placed you in. every second following the moment you grew coherent and aware were seconds you were allowing him to be with you, to touch and feel and see you because you wanted to. you allowed him to. 

and that was the last thing you wanted, those damned lines blurred anymore than they already were. 

satoru rolled his eyes gently, hand dropping as his eyes shifted down, hips beginning to pull out of you, but your eyes remained on him. 

him and that damned kicked puppy look he always got when you dismissed his attempts to make whatever this was into something softer than the transactional agreement you’d agreed on. 

you noticed everything about him, unfortunately, ever the observer you were. 

the slight clench of his jaw, the way his nostrils flared just barely, the tension that dragged him back down from whatever cloud he always seemed to float on after sex.

you waited for that familiar tug beneath your ribs, that pull to soften and let him blur the lines just a little more.

the feeling never came. and the second he pulled out, you were quick to swing your legs over the side of the bed and walk towards his en suite without sparing him a glance. 

still, you could feel his stare on the expanse of your back, every single time you walked away from him. 

you knew it without turning your head, the weight of his gaze settling somewhere, uncomfortable and heavy in a way you couldn’t quite explain. 

you hated it. despised it, even. 

you especially hated when he looked at you like you were something to figure out, when his stark blue gaze met yours and you could tell- 

sometimes i wanna break open your skull and read all your thoughts. 

you remember almost physically recoiling when he’d uttered that late one night. it wasn’t out of fear, either, but because you felt the collision of his sincerity. 

the memory of him, his eyes, all earnest beneath the light, it felt dangerously close to being seen. 

it made your throat tighten just the slightest bit.

exposed vulnerability never integrated too well with you. 

and your response was predicted, rooted in both irritation at his persistence and the urge to evade any possibility of the conversation growing any more serious than it already was.

don’t make it weird, gojo. 

and what followed is what always treaded on the heels of your unrelenting nature. 

that same dampened smile that was not as bright as his usual cocky grin. a smile smaller than usual but still there for you anyway. 

after a quick shower, you stepped back into his room, steam still clinging to your skin as you tightened the towel around yourself. 

satoru was sprawled across the bed, one arm tucked beneath his head while the other rested low against his stomach, eyes already fixed on you the second you’d emerged. 

“already?” his voice came, softer now, as you began collecting your clothes from the carpeted floor, the towel tight around you.

“yeah.” you answered lowly, eyes downcast as you began pulling up your underwear. 

a beat passed, “stay a bit.” 

you resisted the urge to sigh. 

stay? why would you? 

but you paused just enough for him to notice, sitting up as you began pulling on the rest of your clothes as if his words hadn’t even registered. 

“well, don’t get too excited.” satoru grinned gently, a smile you could see right through but ignored all the same. “here...”

satoru leaned over his bed to the little mini fridge, puling out two chilled bottles and tossing one towards you lazily. 

“thanks.” you stated as he hummed gently, chugging his own down while watching you over the rim as you sipped yours, eyes remaining on him and his the same. eyes meeting somewhere you both couldn’t name. 

“what are you doing tonight?” satoru questioned as you fixed up your tousled hair in the mirror, eyes drifting to him as he sat up, forearms resting against his knees, gaze softer than you liked. 

“chilling, why?”

satoru grinned, “there’s a-”

“party?” you deadpanned, turning to face the grinning man as he crossed his arms.

satoru lips twitched, “ugh, you're obsessed with me.”

you rolled your eyes once, despite that strange tension that still lingered beneath everything. 

subtle and easy to ignore, especially for you, but there nonetheless. 

a week had passed since that conversation with suguru and despite only avoiding satoru for a day, something had shifted afterward, just a bit. 

maybe you were colder now, or maybe you were simply paying attention to things you didn’t before. 

either way, satoru noticed too. 

because despite your distance, despite the walls and avoidance and clipped responses, you still came whenever he called. 

“not a party this time," satoru promised with a smirk, "we’re all goin’ to a bar tonight.” 

you hummed before turning to face him, “how grown of you.” 

he huffed out a laugh, “shut up.” 

you simply shook your head, taking another sip of water as he continued watching you from the bed, “you should come.”

your eyes flicked to him instantly and you resisted the urge to scoff. 

absolutely not. 

you and frat parties were already enough of a social nightmare, but voluntarily accompanying satoru and his friends to a crowded bar sounded like genuine psychological warfare. 

“should i?” you deadpanned, words smothered in a lack of enthusiasm satoru caught, “no thanks.”

his grin widened immediately like he’d expected the answer before the thought had even entered his brain, “y’didn’t even think about it!”

“i did,” you replied flatly, reaching for your bag by the door, "thought about it very quickly.”

“c’mon,” he dragged out, a pout practically painting his lips and though you didn’t particularly dwell over him, it was nice to see him more like himself, “it’ll be fun.”

you scoffed softly, “we have very different definitions of fun, gojo.”

“ouch,” gojo gasped, hand pressing to his chest in mock offense, “real judgemental from someone who was screaming my name not even thirty minutes ago.”

you merely shot him a look and he laughed then, properly this time. 

god, he had a nice laugh. 

you hated that too. 

“just think about it,” he stated after a moment, quieter now, “don’t gotta say yes now.” 

“i’m probably not going, gojo.”

his eyes brightened, “probably?” 

you rolled your eyes. of course he’d latch onto that word alone. 

“don’t start.” 

“that sounds better than no to me,” he grinned before finally relenting with a shake of his head, “m’just sayin’. could be nice.” 

there it was again. that softness he kept trying to slip between the cracks of your arrangement like he was hoping you wouldn’t notice. you noticed everything. 

which is exactly why he wouldn't be seeing you tonight. 

“a lotta things could be nice,” you huffed as you placed the strap of your bag on your shoulder, “bye, gojo.”

he watched you walk out of his room, the door shutting behind you and exhaled slowly through his nose. 

something was off. 

he didn’t know what exactly but he felt it every tine you looked at him now. as if you ever looked at him with anything but that bluntness in your gaze, but it just seemed more prominent now. 

you used to soften, at least just after sex. his truth serum dick window. 

a mere fifteen to twenty minutes where your head was still fuzzy in a cloud of euphoria, he could talk to you about practically anything, ask you about anything. 

now, even after sex, you stiffened when he got too close to whatever invisible line you kept drawn between you both. 

and fuck, he hated that line. and he hated how aware of it he’d become. 

before you, satoru never really cared whether people stayed or left. 

girls came and went in an endless rotation of fucks, they were merely a blur in his mind, faces and names fading into the background of frat parties and bad decisions, only temporary fun. 

satoru liked people, he knew them well. he was charming to a fault, able to present himself in any way he needed to to get his way. 

but he never needed them. 

not his fuckass family, not even his frat.

but you? 

well, he didn’t know if needed was the right word. but you were different in the worst possible way. 

you stayed in his head, fucked with him all the fucking time.

he’d be in class thinking about the way your nose scrunched when you were annoyed. he’d be at practice remembering some comment you’d muttered three nights ago. 

his fifteen minute window post-sex allowed him to collect little memories and information about you that he cherished more than he liked to admit. 

it was pathetic. worse, it was new. 

satoru gojo had never been this guy before. 

the kind of man who waited around for texts or replayed conversations trying to figure out what shifted. or the kind to stare at his ceiling at two in the morning wondering where someone was or whether they got home safe. 

he’d especially never been the kind of idiot who wanted to know someone this badly. 

because that was it, really.

it wasn’t just sex, he wasn’t sure it ever was. he wanted to know things, 

he wanted to know why your mood shifted whenever he asked about family, why you always looked half-ready to run, why you never stayed the night, why you looked at him sometimes like caring about you was the worst thing he could possibly do. 

and every time he tried getting closer, you shut another door in his face. 

still, he kept trying. like a fucking idiot. 

satoru dropped back against his pillows with a groan, dragging both his hands down his face. 

this was so unfair. 

of all the people he could’ve ended up wanting like this, of all the girls on campus who would've gladly fallen into his arms without making him work for every microscopic inch…

he had to feel these emotions for the first time towards the one girl who treated vulnerability like a disease.

he was absolutely fucked. 

☀︎

the bar was loud in the way only campus bars could be, all sticky floors and the music too heavy and laughter bled into shouting until everything became one overwhelming blur of bodies and alcohol. 

satoru usually loved this bar, he thrived in these very environments. 

he loved the noise, the attention, the easy feeling of walking into a room and knowing people would gravitate toward him without him having to try. 

tonight, though, something felt off. 

“for the last fuckin’ time,” shoko graoned from beside him, cigarette balaced lazily between her fingers despite the bartender glaring daggers her way, “stop looking at the door then checking your phone then looking at the door then checking your phone then-”

“shut up.” satoru muttered with a huff, leaning back against the booth as his eyes wandered over the sea of people. 

some of the boys were playing pool with a group of girls while the other half were drunkenly playing darts which would end with sukuna pulling a dart out of choso’s arm. again. 

utahime leaned against the counter beside her with a sigh, “what are you waiting for, satoru? your pretty biker?” 

satoru instantly glared at her, “i was checking the time.” 

“you checked the time four times in one minute.” shoko deadpaned, sharing a glance with utahime that screamed this guy’s pathetic. 

satoru scoffed, “time changes.”

“ugh, you’re so embarrassing…” utahime muttered into her drink as satoru ignored them both, though his jaw tightened slightly as his knee bounced beneath the counter. 

he felt so fucking stupid. why did he think probably meant anything other than absolutely fucking not. 

it was you. of course you weren’t coming. 

still, some stupid part of him kept glancing toward the entrance anyway, half expecting to see you walk in with that bored expression on your utterly pretty face, as if you hadn't occupied his every waking thought for the past six hours. 

“seriously, though, what the hell’s wrong with you lately?” shoko leaned forward, eyeing him carefully, “you’ve been off.” 

“i haven’t been off-”

“you’ve been off.” choso stated as he took a seat by hime, rubbing his bicep where satoru could see a little scratch from the dart, eyes downcast as he grabbed a nacho from the plate.

satoru scoffed, “the hell do you know-”

“you got rejected or somethin’?” choso continued through a mouthful of cheesy nachos making shoko grimace as satoru’s jaw clenched, opening his mouth to speak-

“he absolutely got rejected,” suguru breathed out, taking a seat beside shoko breathlessly, “repeatedly, actually. at his own accord-”

“shut the fuck up.” satoru practically growled, leg kicking against suguru’s shin as he groaned at the impact. 

“so this really is all about that girl-” 

“the biker chick?” sukuna walked towards them then, choso moving to allow the vice president to sit beside him, “ah yeah, he’s down catastrophic.” 

the table then got into a discussion about who was down worse, sukuna or satoru. 

satoru didn’t hear a thing, the group dissolving into discussion and teasing and laughter while satoru leaned back against the booth with an irritated sigh, fingers twitching toward his phone before stopping himself. 

he really needed to get a fucking grip. he was satoru fucking gojo. 

girls practically fell at his feet, he was absolute royalty. 

he wasn’t supposed to be the one sitting in a bar feeling badly because one emotionally constipated girl hadn't show up. 

“another round?” suguru asked, already signaling the bartender for more. 

“fuckin’ please.” satoru muttered instantly and maybe that was his first mistake. 

because one round turned into three surprisingly quick, then four, and suddenly, the buzzing beneath his skin dulled just enough for him to stop checking the entrance every five seconds. 

it was around one in the morning when a familiar dark-haired girl slid into the empty spot beside him. 

emi. her sultry almond eyes were the same, all manipulation and false affection. 

she laughed at everything he said, touched his arm too much, leaned into his space just enough to have him leaning back into her. 

the past few weeks, girls’ advances weren’t quite met back with enthusiasm by the frat president, because he already had his fix. 

this time, though, he didn’t stop her. 

“missed you, toru…” she stated lowly, hands resting against his thigh as his head leaned back against the booth, those very eyes drifting between her eyes and hands. 

“yeah?” satoru lowly stated, voice all husky and deep, hazy from the plethora of drinks. 

it felt good to be wanted. and fuck, did emi want him. 

everyone knew that much. 

his mind couldn’t help but drift to you for a moment, of course it did. 

you wanted him when you needed him, but you didn’t just want him like he wanted you. you didn’t want him all the time. 

and that was what you’d agreed on, so why was it such a big deal now? 

maybe he needed this, to stop acting insane over a girl who couldn’t give a fuck less what he was doing. 

your deal didn’t include exclusivity or not to sleep with other people. it was just to keep each other in the loop if you did. 

fuck, satoru felt his stomach churn at the prospect of you with another man. 

he pushed that thought away before it could fully consume him, just as emi leaned closer, breath tickling the skin of his neck, right over the little mark you’d left on his jaw this morning. 

he wore it like a badge of honor, like a goddamn idiot. 

“we had a lotta fun, remember, babe?” she stated more than asked, grinning all nice like and satoru smirked drunkenly, her face a bit blurry but still visually appealing enough to have him leaning in just a bit. 

“oh, i know.” 

she giggled at that, her other hand moving to rest on his chest.

shoko and utahime had already gone back home an hour ago, sukuna as well. 

the rest of the boys were scattered around the bar and suguru kept his eyes on his snow-haired friend where he stood across the room. 

their eyes met for half a second and suguru’s expression shifted instantly. don’t. 

satoru looked away first. 

why shouldn’t he? 

just because this uncharacteristic version of himself was amusing to suguru? it was hell. 

granted, suguru, as well as his entire frat hated emi’s guts. for many reasons. 

before he could even attempt to recall those very reasons, emi was kissing him, quick and needy. 

satoru kissed her back, hands by his sides but lips moving against hers like muscle memory had taken over.

it felt different. he was waiting for that shot of electricity up his spine that he’d grown accustomed to. for that feral need to touch to come over him.

the girl practically climbed atop his lap, hands still by his sides as she cupped his jaw, lips moving messily and eagerly over him, no rhyme or rhythm. 

“ugh, you’re so hot-” she moaned before she pressed herself against him once more, satoru growing stiffer instead of melting by the second.

just enough time passed for him to realize that this felt absolutely nothing like kissing you. you and your pillowy soft lips, the soft sounds that came from somewhere deep in your throat, as if they clawed their way out, despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. 

you and the honeyed way you said his name, his actual name. 

satoru. the word left you rarely but so fucking devastatingly, your gentle hands and your pretty body that fit against his like fate itself intervened when placing you in his path.

you were so fucking addicting, even having a pretty girl on his lap did nothing for him. 

what the fuck were you doing to him? 

satoru pulled away then, lips all swollen as he looked to the side, eyes still hazy but mind more sober. 

emi began peppering kisses down his jaw, his neck, until he pressed a hand to her shoulder. 

“stop,” satoru stated, gently maneuvering her away from him to the seat once more, “m’not into this.” 

emi scoffed instantly, eyes firing up in that familiar way he remembered, “not into this?! oh please, you were obsessed with me!”

satoru almost wanted to laugh. 

emi was the obsessed one, following him around since freshman year. 

she was the head girl of kappa kappa gamma, and you could tell with a glance that she wasn’t used to hearing the word no. which is probably why she was so enamored with satoru. 

she came back after the summer of their first year looking good. she’d gotten her tits done, that was a given. all of campus were talking about it at the time. he’s sure something else had changed but either way, she looked good. 

so he fucked her. 

aside from you, she was his most steady fuck, on and off all of sophmore year. 

they were never exclusive or anything and he still slept with other girls if he pleased, but he knew she was there if he needed a quick fix.

until she started acting just a bit too crazy and satoru cut her off. she’d been obsessed with him since then. 

satoru almost wanted to laugh, karma really was a bitch because this time around, with you, he was the fucking crazy one.

oh please, you were obsessed with me!

satoru wanted to laugh at that too. 

if he was obsessed with her then what was it that he felt for you? 

did he fucking worship you? was that it? 

if obsession was emi than you must have been driving him to insanity. 

satoru couldn’t recall what had taken place after that, all he knew was that choso and sugugu were pulling the short-haired girl off of him and pulling him up, his long arms dangling over each of their shoulders. 

“c’mon, mr president, lets take you home.” choso stated, blunt resting between his lips as they walked him towards the door, satoru leaning his head against his shoulder in imbalance.

fuck, he’d wished you’d just shown up. 

☀︎

“should we call someone?” oscar questioned, eyes squinted as he tilted his head. 

you hummed from your place beside him, your own eyes widened, “like who?” 

the little boy shifted, knees digging into the couch as one arm rested around your shoulder, small fingers fidgeting with the ends of your hair gently, “i don’t know, like, the pope?” 

you scoffed, “what would the pope do, oz?”

“something! i’ve never seen this before!” 

your little brother’s eyes that mirrored your own was filled with genuine concern, yours equally so.

it was comical the way both your heads tilted in sync as you watched the scene before you-

“y’know i can hear your stupid asses, right?” the eldest of your two younger brothers muttered without looking up from the worksheet in front of him, pen tapping aggressively against the paper. 

sonny, who was hunched over the dining room table, a pen in hand as he did…homework. voluntarily. 

“language, asshole!” you scolded as oscar huffed gently.

“grandma says if you swear too much, your hair falls out!” oscar informed, face serious and eyes wide. 

sonny finally looked up then, “grandma also said that stupid drawing you brought home was like picasso’s.” 

“sonny!” you scolded, hand moving to oscar’s back as he gaped at his older brother. 

“this is why grandma says you’re a delinquent!” 

“spell delinquent-”

“okay, enough.” you shushed them both as you stood up, moving towards sonny who was hunched over his algebra homework, “you feeling okay, kid?” 

sonny scoffed gently, “yes, i’m fine, mom.”

you crossed your arms, “you sure?”

sonnu huffed, slamming his pen down as his eyes met yours, “yes, i’m sure, what is up with you?” 

you shrugged gently, “i don’t know. i just thought the day i see you doing homework, i’d also see pigs in the sky.” 

sonny rolled his eyes as oscar padded over, moving to stand beside you, mirroring your crossed arms. 

you resisted the urge to smile, a little mini you. 

“is this because grandma took your xbox?”

realization dawned on you as you laughed softly, “ahh, this makes sense now.” 

sonny merely met your eyes with a blank stare, “she said if i failed another test, she’s selling it.” 

you pulled out the chair across from him as oscar followed beside you. 

you glanced at the paper to see two bolded words atop that made you gasp softly, “this is extra credit.”

sonny’s jaw clenched as oscar giggled softly, “sun’s a nerd!” 

you giggled gently along with him, eyes racking over your brother’s red cheeks.

“shut UP.” sonny hissed, lunging for the eight year old boy who darted behind you instantly, laughing hysterically.

another soft laugh left you as oscar clutched at the back of your shirt, “okay, settle down, einstein.” 

sonny huffed as he relented, sitting back down with his arms crossed. 

you softened then, a small smile playing on your lips as a sense of gentle relief filled you. 

you often worried about sonny more than you did oscar, more than your grandma. 

he wasn’t a delinquent, as your grandma often exaggerated, but he was somewhat troubled. something you didn’t blame him for being, especially as you played a part.

you leaving for college only worsened his misbehavior, something you couldn't help but still carried the guilt of. 

“why are you doing extra credit, sun?”

sonny shifted in his seat, eyes still blazing, “for extra credit. it’s in the name, dumbass.” 

“that’s a chunk of hair gone!” oscar stated as he munched on the cut up fruit on the table. 

sonny glared at the little boy before gazing back up at you, your eyes soft, familiar and gentle enough to have his shoulders dropping, “i like my xbox.” 

your head tilted back in laughter as the boy huffed, “will you help me or not?” 

you tried to keep your smile at bay, truly, you did. 

but sony looked so genuinely irritated by all of this that another round of laughter bubbled out before you could stop it, oscar quick to follow as sonny huffed, gathering his things as if he was about to make a run for it. 

“no, no, i’m sorry! i’ll help!” you grinned, relenting as the boy glared at you but remained put, allowing you to slide the paper over to you and oscar’s side. 

both of you huddled over the paper, your youngest brother merely copying your movements because god knows, he knew fuck all about algebra. 

“okay,” you muttered, scanning the page, “what the fuck is this?” 

“language!” oscar yelled as you patted his back gently, eyes still squinting over the page.

“let me get this straight, you can do that whole organic chemistry shit but you can’t do algebra?”

you scoffed, "i haven’t done algebra since freaking high school! there’s a reason i chose science, idiot!”

sonny scoffed, “right, i’m the idiot.” 

sonny then proceeded to go into this whole story about this one guy in his class, oscar nodding along like his older brother’s words were gospel. something in your chest loosened just a little.

it was all so achingly familiar, so heartbreakingly nostalgic. 

the noise and bickering, oscar attached to your side and sonny pretending like he didn’t care whether you came home or not despite hovering around you the second you walked through the door. 

you knew what role you occupied here, something your poor grandma couldn’t replicate which is why sonny gives her such a hard time. 

sometimes it felt like you’d skipped being a teenager entirely and maybe that was why people like satoru made you itch beneath your skin. 

he made things easier, softer in a way you weren’t familiar with. 

you hated it. 

☀︎

the second the train doors opened, rain slammed into you sideways. 

hard and violent enough that people exiting beside you immediately cursed under their breaths, some scrambling to pull jackets over their heads as thunder cracked overhead. 

you paused beneath the station awning with a frustrated sigh, arms crossing over your sweater clad body, completely void of a proper jacket. you had forgotten it home at your grandma’s. 

fuck, your apartment was a thirty minute walk which was usually fine, except it was fucking freezing and probably bound to storm soon. 

you pulled out your phone, opening your messages quickly and scrolling through until you found luna’s number, going to press on her contact name before your screen went black. 

“oh, fuck off.” you muttered as your head tilted back against the cold bricks, eyes shutting in absolute disbelief. just your fucking luck. 

“lady, it’s about to storm, you should get going. all outgoing trains are cancelled.” a man with a navy vest stated, the pin at his chest indicating his place as one of the train staff. 

“right. thanks.” you stated before he nodded, walking away as you looked ahead at the heavy rain. 

another crash of thunder echoed overhead, rainwater splashing violently against the pavement while people rushed towards cars and buses around you. 

you narrowed your eyes at the black sky before sighing. fuck it.

hugging yourself tightly, you stepped out into the rain. 

ten minutes later, you deeply regretted every decision that had led you to this point. 

you knew it was gonna rain and still decided to come back to campus because of your stupid lab tomorrow morning that you truly afforded to miss. 

your shoes squelched with every miserable step, jeans soaked through entirely while freezing rainwater clung to your lashes, tote bag barely hanging onto your shoulder. 

the wind nearly knocked you off your feet as you swayed with every huge gust, another crack of thunder splitting overhead. 

“you look fuckin’ homeless.” 

you stopped walking instantly, a black truck crawled alongside the curb beside you, window rolled down just enough to reveal sukuna’s unimpressed face beneath the glow of passing streetlights. 

you stared at him blankly, “good to see you too.” 

sukuna’s lip twitched, “get in the truck.” 

you resisted the urge to scoff, “said the kidnapper.” 

you turned on your feet, continuing your dreadful walk and after a mere ten seconds, sukuna’s truck followed, “get in the truck.”

“i’m good.” 

“you are visibly not good, stupid.” 

your jaw clenched, turning to face the pink haired vice president, “please don’t be so convincing.” 

the rain came in sheets as you squinted once more, continuing your walk before sukuna scoffed, truck slowly moving beside you, “look, i’d like nothin’ more than to leave your ass freezin’ out here but my girl told me that people have this thing called a conscience, so.”

you shivered, “god bless your girlfriend’s patience.”

another gust of wind hit you directly then and you physically recoiled.

sukuna noticed instantly, “get. in.” 

“you’re such a-”

a bike whirled passed then, right over a puddle that ended up flooding the front of you completely and your jaw clenched so tight, your molars hurt.

you could practically feel the smirk on the vice president’s face, “i imagine you’re coming in then.” 

no words left you as you climbed into the passenger seat of his truck, warmth hitting you instantly, you almost moaned in appreciation. 

sukuna snorted beside you as you slammed the door shut, “fuckin’ pathetic.” 

“fuck you.” 

you shoved your wet hair away from your face while he pulled back onto the main road, windshield wipers fighting for their lives against the storm outside. 

for a minute, silence settled between you outside the low hum of the engine.

“why are you even walking in this weather?” sukuna scoffed after a moment.

“just decided to take a nice stroll.” you stated emotionlessly, eyes trained on the blur of cars outside before glancing at the man, “train.” 

“your survival instincts are ass.” 

you rolled your eyes, leaning your head back against the seat, “i’m well aware.” 

“you from the city too?” sukuna questioned as you glanced over at him once more, his hand clutching the steering wheel, forearms thick and littered with tattoos. 

one stood out, a small pair of angel wings on his hand. it was pretty. 

“yeah.” you stated simply. the last thing you wanted was to have small talk when you were soaking wet with rain water. 

you knew sukuna understood that, the silence enveloping you both, a mutual understanding settling between you. 

if it was fucking satoru here, he’d properly yap your ear off about god knows what. you’d shush him over and over and he’d still find the energy to talk. 

he’d properly distract you from the wet cold feeling against you, though. he was funny when he wanted to be. he’d also be able to keep you warm because you didn’t mind when he touched you, unlike other people, men especially. 

you even flinched when luna hugged you. 

the last time you’d seen satoru was two days ago, the same morning he’d asked you to come to the bar with his friends. and he hadn’t texted you since then which was strange for him. 

you appreciated the space, though. but it made it evidently clear that you were growing used to the annoyance that was satoru gojo. 

yu wondered what he was doing. surely no party was happening in the midst of a storm, but you wouldn’t completely put it past him. 

if anything, he’d make a theme of it all. 

as if sukuna could read your mind, the familiar strip of greek row came into view and your stomach churned, “why are we here?” 

sukuna hummed, “because i dnon’t know where the fuck you live and the frat was only ten minutes away. i’m not driving in a storm, dipshit.”

your jaw clenched alongside your fists, “i didn’t fucking tell you to drive in the storm, did i, asshole? you’re the one who pestered me-”

“spell pestered-”

“i’m gonna-” 

sukuna was already climbing out of the truck, the vehicle shutting off, the warmth being stripped away from you as you shivered almost instantly. 

“your choice, grumpy,” sukuna stated as he walked towards the frat, glancing at you over his shoulder, "either make the walk or come in.” 

with that, he began walked down the pathway to the house as you jumped out of the truck, genuinely contemplating for a moment.

either you go home which was twenty minutes away or go in and leave your pride right here. 

fuck, you pride was still on the steps of that goddamn train station. 

rain was soaking you all over again during the short sprint toward the front door. 

“asshole.” you stated as sukuna smirked. 

“witch.” he replied as you huffed. 

music and shouting echoed faintly inside once sukuna shoved the door open, warmth flooding over you once more as you shivered still, teeth chattering just the slightest bit.

you had to be on the verge of hypothermia. 

the living room was crowded with frat boys sprawled across the couches and the carpeted floor, yelling over a cod match playing loudly on the tv, four boys taking a hold of their own controllers. 

and you hated the way your eyes seeked him out almost instantly, eyes racking over the faceless boys before settling on the one face that no one could really miss. 

satoru was stretched across the couch in grey sweats and a black compression shirt, controller loose in one hand while he laughed at something choso said beside him. 

“hands off my shit, assholes.” sukuna glared at the two pledges who had sukuna’s switch in their hands, their eyes instantly widening. you would bet on the fact that they had shit themselves right then and there. 

sukuna’s booming voice had satoru glancing up and his gaze almost instantly flickered to you. you, you, you. 

everything stopped, really and truly, satoru felt the moment shift. 

his grin vanished instantly, and he could swear he was hallucinating. 

the situation didn’t even register. why would you be here? why would you be with the likes of ryomen sukuna of all people? 

though his mind embarrassingly often conjured up thoughts of you, the flushing of your cheeks, the softness of your hair, the way your lashes fluttered, he was still struck every single time he saw you. 

“hey.” the word left you then and he physically gulped. 

his heart stilled momentarily and he knew he wasn’t going crazy then. this was no hallucination. 

he could recall how soft your voice was, how gentle and calming despite your usual blunt nature but the underlying emotion, the shaky breath, the subtle depth he couldn’t conjure up. not in with his greatest efforts. 

he knows because he’s tried.

“what the fuck?” 

you barely had time to react before he was standing before you, making it to you in three long strides, controller abandoned and game forgotten.

his eyes flicked over to sukuna, eyes unusually heated, “why the fuck-”

sukuna was quick to interrupt him, “found your girl wanderin’ the streets like a wet cat.”

with that, the pink-haired frat boy made his way up to his room, allowing satoru to glare at him momentarily before deciding he had more important things to deal with.

his eyes dragged over you rapidly like he was checking for injuries. 

you blinked once, eyes tinted a slight blue making his heart clench, “he’s insufferable.” 

satoru couldn’t stop the grin that split his lips then, eyes racking over the pretty expanse of your face, heart clenching in appreciation. he fucking missed you.

“yeah, that’s sukuna for ya.”

you merely hummed, a shiver taking over as satoru tutted once, hands reaching out and brushing over your soaked sleeves.

“hell, you’re freezing.” 

“i’m fine.” you muttered through chattering teeth. 

“you’re shivering.” 

“that’s how cold works, gojo.”

his hands clenched at the name, huffing as he dragged you toward the stairs by your hand and you’d usually hate this, but you so desperately ached for the warmth you knew he could provide. 

you needed a bath and a change of clothes yesterday. 

the familiar expanse of his room was warm as he shoved the door open, immediately moving around the space while you hovered awkwardly near the entrance dripping rainwater on the floor.

“go shower,” satoru instantly began moving around the room, “i’ll get you a change of clothes.”

you blinked, swallowing down the urge to flee at the obvious concern in his tone. 

a part of you wanted to make up an excuse and just go home, storm be damned. 

except he looked so utterly real. 

you never thought you’d envy satoru gojo, not in the slightest. 

alas, here you were. 

you desperately wanted to know how he did it. how he didn’t shy away from anything remotely out of his depth. how he was so unapologetically him in the most admirable way possible. 

ugh, did you admire satoru of all people? 

yes, you admired his ability to never run. 

you wished you could be that brave. 

“what are you doing?” satoru stood there, a hoodie and plaid pajama pants in his hands.

“what?” you uttered dumbly as the man scoffed.

“you’re soaked.” 

“observant.” 

satoru shot you a look before handing you the clothes and a soft grey towel, “smartass.” 

you shook your head, eyes looking up at him in a way that made his ribs thump uncomfortably. 

god, you couldn’t be real. 

the way your lips were plump from your biting, cheeks flushed with the cold, eyes big and trusting in a way he hadn’t expected, the way your soaked tresses framed your pretty face. 

you made him feel so much, he could barely stand. 

“they won’t fit you, but whatever…” he breathed out, as if someone had stolen it right from his lungs. 

your gaze lingered on him longer than it ever had before because beneath all the attitude, he seemed worried. for you. 

please, no no no no. 

“thanks.” you muttered quietly, eyes finally glancing away towards the clothes in hand, taking ahold of them before moving towards the bathroom. 

you didn’t miss the way his expression had softened. dangerously so. 

☀︎

by the time you’d stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later, the storm had somehow gotten worse. 

rain hammered violently against the windows while thunder rattled the room itself.

your damp hair clung to your skin under the large hoodie that had engulfed you entirely, his plaid pants being held up by your hair tie that had knotted the extra fabric. 

satoru looked up from his phone the second you’d emerged, visibly freezing. 

his eyes dragged over you slowly. 

his clothes had swallowed you adorably, cheeks flushed from the heat of the shower this time and his chest physically ached in a way that had his jaw clenching. 

something shifted in his ace instantly, something devastatingly soft. 

“what.” you demanded more than asked, shifting from one foot to the other. 

satoru blinked once before shrugging, “nothing.” 

you glanced towards the window as lightning flashed outside, “storm’s bad.”

“yeah,” satoru muttered, eyes still fixed on you, “road’s are fucked.” 

you reached for your phone instinctively before remembering your earlier issue.

“can i use your charger?” 

“yea-” 

as if the world had it out for you, you specifically, darkness enveloped you whole then. 

the light of the bathroom shut completely, the soft sound of his mini fridge stalling and everything went dark. 

you couldn’t help the slight terror that brushed over you for a moment, “satoru?!”

“m’here, baby, c’mere.” 

you felt a brush of something against your sleeve and you immediately followed his voice, huddling close as you heard the chaos of the boys downstairs. 

“fucking fuck,” satoru cursed as he let oit a breath, arm around your shoulders as he gently maneuvered you to take a seat on the edge of his bed, “m’gonna grab some candles. wait here, okay?”

“where else would i go, gojo?” 

the man simply ignored your words, feeling his way through the darkness for his phone before finding it by the edge of his desk. 

he turned the flash on, glancing at you once before making his way out of the room. 

ten minutes later, the entirety of satoru’s room was littered with candles, setting the room aglow, a soft yellow and orange tone that flickered against the walls and ceiling. 

it should’ve felt eerie but instead, it felt strangely warm. 

it was intimate in a way that made something beneath your ribs tighten. 

satoru dripped back onto the floor beside the bed with a dramatic sigh, long legs stretched out in front of him as rain battered violently against the windows. 

“well,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, “this is romantic.”

you started blankly at the man, “for who?” 

“me,” he answered instantly, grinning obnoxiously, “you’re in my clothes. power’s out. surrounded by candlelight…this should be our first date.” 

you couldn’t help the tilt of your lips at his utter ridiculousness. 

“there it is,” he grinned softly, “like striking gold. every time.” 

your brows furrowed, “what?” 

“that tiny smile.” 

“i’m not smiling.” you scoffed instantly, almost offended at the very prospect.

“okay, trouble, whatever you say.” 

you rolled your eyes once, huffing gently as your eyes roamed around his room. 

it looked different in candlelight, softer and more boyish. 

the pictures of him and his friends littered across his room in little glimpses of his life that you never really cared to ask about. it all seemed more endearing under the glow. 

silence settled between you both, comfortable, which somehow felt more dangerous than the flirting. 

your gaze drifted towards the mini fridge by his desk, “you got anything to drink?” 

“mhm,” satoru pushed himself up immediately before crouching beside it, “cherry coke, perhaps?"

your brows furrowed, “how do you-”

“you told me.”

how did he seem to continuously gather this information about you when you had no recollection of telling him about it?

you loved cherry coke, it was an absolute god send. 

there was something so achingly nostalgic and delicious about it. 

“fuck…” satoru muttered as he reached into the fridge. 

“what?”

he turned slowly, holding up a single can of diet cherry coke. one. 

“it’s mine.” you stated with a furrow in your brow as satoru grinned menacingly. 

“hmm, i dunno…” he muttered, allowing the door of the fridge to shut as he made his way back over, sitting back down with the coke in hand, “y’know, you really put me on these. having one doesn’t sound so bad right now.”

you glared at him, jaw clenching just a bit as you eyed the can in his hand, “give it, gojo.” 

satoru’s eyes brightened, “alright, yeah, i will...if you agree to play a game with me.”

your eyes narrowed at the man, distrusting but also contemplative. 

you really wanted a cherry coke right now. 

“what game?” 

and you could physically see the shift in his gaze, the way his blue eyes had been overcome with something dangerous, borderlining on menacing as he leaned back on the side of the bed, one knee bent lazily. 

“truth or strip.” 

you stared at him blankly, “are you twelve?” 

satoru shrugged with a hum, eyes glancing down to the can in hand, long fingers cracking open the can with menacing cruelty, “i’ll just take my drink then.” 

you narrowed your eyes at him as he lofted the can to his lips, the soft fizz from the inside mocking you as he took a sip. 

“fine.” 

satoru pulled the can away from his lips, a smirk painting his features as his head tilted at you, tonguing the inside of his cheek just the slightest bit. 

“good girl,” he stated with a grin before sitting up properly, “rules of the game. each of us gets to ask a question in turns. about anything and everything. and the other has to be honest. if you’re not, you lose. if you don’t wanna answer a question, strip one item of clothing.” 

your brows furrowed, “and how will we know if the other is lying?” 

satoru smirked, “because i pinky promise i won’t lie.” 

you rolled your eyes at the mocking tone of his words, his pinky held out as you eyed him with mild irritation. 

you clasped your finger around his anyways, “fine. give me the coke.” 

just like that, the can of coke was in your hands and you were in satoru’s. 

☀︎

“how is beautiful boy your favorite movie? it’s so depressing!” satoru argued as he laid on his back on the floor while you remained in a criss cross position across from him.

satoru was now shirtless and you were missing both of your socks which he claimed was cheating. 

“gojo, you cannot argue and ask more questions about every single answer i give you.” you stated for what might possibly be the fifth time. 

satoru huffed gently, head turning to glance up at you, “you’re a sociopath.”

you merely rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coke as you glanced at his bare chest and abs where the candlelight flickered nicely. he looked good. 

“your turn, trouble.” 

you hummed before glancing around his room, as if it would magically conjure up some questions to ask. 

your eyes fell upon a picture of a younger satoru gojo beside an older woman with the same striking blue eyes and stark white hair. 

“are you close with your parents?” 

a lame question, really, but this was hard for you. 

you hated receiving questions, let alone asking them. 

and to be completely honest, you didn't really care to. you didn’t need to know satoru like that, you knew enough. you knew what you needed to know. 

except, something came over satoru then, in a way you’d never seen before. his eyes, usually expressive and carrying his emotions like a blanket, grew blank in a way that was all too familiar to you.

you watched him for a moment, the way his eyes casted over with something you couldn’t name, his jaw clenching along with it. 

“my mom, yeah.” 

his voice carried a heaviness you never really found with satoru, something so utterly different than his usual light-heartedness. 

his eyes didn’t meet yours and silence followed. 

again, you didn't really want to particularly pry so you let it go. but you did store away that little piece of information away. 

stupid damn game. 

“my turn,” as if a switch flipped, he was grinning again, the cloudiness in his gaze dwindling as he looked up at you, “why do you go back to the city so often?” 

your heart thumped once, hand tightening against the drink in your hand. 

you had your pants and hoodie left, meaning only two more questions you could dodge. fuck. 

“i visit my brothers.” you answered simply, taking a sip of your drink as satoru watched you like he couch read your very thoughts as they conjured up. 

you think it was his eyes, they were always way too intense for possibly anyone he was speaking to. 

“are you close with them-”

“again with the follow up questions, gojo.” you stated in irritation as you traced the rim of the can in hand, satoru sitting up and leaning against the bedframe beside you, his shoulder brushing yours. 

and you didn’t know if it was the heat of him beside you or the candlelit room that made you stupidly utter, “have you ever been in love?” 

satoru paused, head leaning back against the bed, tilted to the side so he gazed upon the side of your face. you looked up slowly, eyes meeting his and his breath hitched. 

satoru pondered it for a moment. had he been in love? no. 

mostly because he never gave anyone the chance. 

“no, i don’t think i have…” satoru muttered, breath fanning the softness of your face. he was so close, “don’t think i ever wanted someone long enough.” 

fair enough. you simply hummed in understanding as you took a sip of your coke. 

“right back at ya.” satoru whispered as you swallowed softly. 

have you ever been in love?

“umm, no.” you replied with a small shrug, “no, i don’t think i have.” 

satoru wasn’t surprised, “why?”

this time, you merely shot him a glare at his question and he smirked softly, though there was no teasing beneath it. 

you were aware of the subtle shift, of the tension that had been building since he suggested this stupid game. you ignored it. 

“why are you not close with your dad?” 

really, it didn’t matter if he answered or not but you knew this had to be a touchy subject based on his previous answer, so there was a higher likelihood of him stripping. 

satoru’s jaw clenched once before he began tugging his sweats off, now only in his black briefs. 

“why do you always rush away after sex?” he questioned as you paused momentarily. 

and just like that, you were shrugging his hoodie up and over your head, except you weren’t wearing a bra because it was currently damp with rain and drying on his bathtub. 

your forearm spread over your tits as satoru watched you like something holy, as if he hadn’t seen you topless multiple times beforehand. 

still, his jaw clenched with effort, eyes gazing upon familiar exposed skin, beauty marks littering here and there, little constellations he’d traced with his tongue more times than he could count. 

under the soft glow of the candles, you looked impossibly pretty, it made him instantly strain against his boxers. fuck, you were gonna make him insane. 

“nothin’ i haven’t seen before, baby…” satoru drawled lowly, eyes hooded and tracing your skin as you huffed gently. 

you could tell he was growing aroused, the game coming to a close sooner than you’d anticipated. you recognized the look in his eyes, the half lidded nature, the baby that only left him during sex. 

“my turn,” you muttered, eyes trained on him and his never left yours, “why do you always try to make things weird?” 

satoru groaned lowly as he immediately began shrugging off his briefs, as if he hadn’t even registered the question, but merely wanted to get naked for you. 

and naked, he was. 

satoru gojo completely bare and exposed beneath the warm glow of candlelight was honestly a ridiculous sight. ridiculous because truly, no one should be able to look that good. 

his snowy locks were messy from his tugging, ocean eyes dark and heavy as they traced over you slowly. the bar skin of your stomach, your wide eyes, every miniscule expression that you tried so desperately to suppress. like he wanted to commit it all to memory. 

you swallowed softly and satoru watched with a heavy gaze, “your turn.”

you had expected satoru to say hell with the game and pull you into him, however, you underestimated just how much satoru wanted to know. just how badly he needed to know more. 

“tell me more about your brothers.”

“that’s not a question.”

“can you tell me more about your brothers?”

you glared at the man, “that doesn’t count.” 

satoru scoffed instantly, “yes, it does.” 

you huffed gently, shuffling onto your feet, standing before the man as he looked up at you with eyes so utterly devoted, filled with desire you could barely comprehend. 

in one smooth motion, you tugged at your hair tie by your hip, allowing the plaid pants to pool at your feet, standing completely bare in front of a man who looked hungry. 

“fuckin’ hell, baby…” 

satoru was quick to tug you down onto the carpeted floor, your hair fanning around you in a halo that revealed you as the angel you surely had to be. 

the rain tapped against the window in harsh motions as your chest heaved, satoru hovering above you, breathing uneven as his lips brushed against yours. 

you were so fucking beautiful.

“game over, huh,” satoru’s lips met yours with fervor then, slotting against your own as you moaned into him, back arching as your breasts brushed against his chest. 

his tongue swept across your bottom lip before nibbling gently, causing a low whimper to escape the back of your throat making satoru groan against you. 

you pressed against his chest gently as he conceded, allowing you to catch your breath while he pressed wet kisses down the expanse of your jaw to the sensitive skin beneath your ear. 

“you make me fuckin’ insane, y’know that?” satoru muttered breathlessly as you nodded against him mindlessly making him smirk just a bit at how dumb you’d already gotten, high off of him and him alone. 

fuck, he was only getting started. 

☀︎

the room smelled faintly of rain and the sandalwood candle that was slowly melting beside the bed. 

your heartbeat was still erratic as your head rested against satoru’s chest while his fingers dragged lazily up and down your spine, as if coaxing you back down. 

it was all comfortable, too comfortable. 

this was the part where you’d usually begin coming to your senses and getting dressed, except there was a whole storm outside, meaning you had nowhere to go. 

you stared blankly at the light dancing across the ceiling while satoru played absentmindedly with the ends of your damp hair. 

you felt the rising urge to panic, to flee, to run, but where would you go? 

you were trapped. 

“you okay?” satoru muttered eventually, voice rough with exhaustion as you hummed once, “alright…m’gonna shower before the hot water disappears.”

you merely shifted away from him as he made his way into the bathroom without a word, the sound of the shower starting moments later. 

then silence settled over the room once more. 

when he showered is when you’d usually make your escape. 

you exhaled slowly before sitting up, tugging the blanket tighter around yourself. 

you swung your legs over the side of the bed, yawning gently as you made your way to the fridge by his desk, desperate for something to soothe your hoarse throat from earlier. 

the little fridge hummed softly when you opened it and your eyes immediately landed on it. 

a can of diet cherry coke. 

cold condensation clung to the red aluminum beneath the dim candlelight. 

you stared at it blankly for a moment. then the other one tucked behind it. and another behind that. 

that little shit. 

a laugh almost escaped you then, quiet and disbelieving, a realization settling beneath your ribs. 

he’d fucking played you. just to play a stupid game. 

your fingers brushed against the cold can thoughtfully as the shower continued running in the next room. 

fair fucking play.

☀︎

a/n - such a long time coming omg! this chapter is more world building than plot but more plot will comeee! i lowk shortened it cuz i hate when a chapter feels packed so :( anyways ch5 next weeek

satoru : you awake? 10:03am

the seconds stretched while he waited, eyes unfocused and legs bouncing. 

he heard shuffling by the staircase, eyes looking up to see his long-haired friend enter the kitchen, workout clothes adorning his figure. 

“you look like shit.” 

satoru’s jaw clenched as suguru’s voice filtered in, lazy and far too observant for his liking. satoru didn’t bother glancing at him once more. 

“morning to you too, sunshine.” satoru muttered, rolling his shoulders back as he gripped his phone even harder, the fight within him dwindling the more he thought of you and where you could be and who you were with and what you were-

“the fuck is up with you?” suguru leaned against the counter opposite satoru, an energy drink in hand and violet eyes sharp as they dragged over his friend, all too knowing, “you barely even drank yesterday, a miracle by the way.” 

satoru scoffed lightly, his usual tolerance for his friends now halved by the pure emotions you seemed to pull out of him without even trying, “nothing, dumbass, just don’t feel like talkin'.”

geto scoffed, “right…”

before satoru could hear his friend out further, his phone buzzed in his hand and his entire body went still. 

trouble : yeah  10:07am

he swallowed, tension loosening just a notch but irritation tingling beneath his ribs at your casual tone. he wished you’d cared more, just a little, just enough to not leave him every night. 

satoru : you good?  10:07am

he hit send and only then realized that geto was watching him. 

“let me guess,” suguru drawled, taking a sip of the bright blue drink in hand, “your current restlessness has everything to do with the pretty biker you followed around like a puppy all night.” 

satoru scoffed, going to answer when his phone buzzed again and you stole his attention once more, here or not. 

trouble : yes  10:11am

satoru didn’t know why he was still restless. you were good and you were home. 

satoru : you home?  10:11am

“she’s got you by the balls already, satoru-“

satoru shot him a glare so sharp, it could’ve cut glass, “watch it.” 

suguru’s brows lifted, amused but curious, “damn. like that?” 

his phone buzzed once more. 

trouble : yup 10:13am

satory sighed gently, chest still in a ball he couldn’t shake. 

there was nothing else for him to text, all out of questions to ask and he knew one more would have you ghosting him the rest of the day. you were such a fucking bad texter. 

so he simply liked your message and tossed his phone on the counter. 

“mornin’.” sukuna emerged shirtless, hair a mess, eyes already narrowed, already pissed at god knows what at ten in the morning. his gaze flicked between the two of them before landing on satoru. 

“why the fuck do you look like that?” 

satoru scoffed instantly, “like what?” 

what the fuck was up with his frat brothers? what was so off about satoru this morning? he was the same as always, albeit a bit more strung tight. 

“d’know…” sukuna walked passed, towards the fridge to pull out a protein shake, “you look…actually serious for once. no goofy ass stupid grin on your face.” 

sukuna shook his shake before taking a sip, eyes never leaving the pissed off frat president, almost amused as satoru’s jaw clenched.

“shut the fuck up, both of you.” satoru practically growled, lips pouting in a miserable expression that both boys considered for a moment. 

“your little biker ghost you or somethin’?” sukuna voiced with a tired smirk, head tilting as satoru’s gaze snapped to him so quick, his neck almost snapped. 

“oh, you wanna talk love life with me, sukuna?” satoru smirked menacingly, “mr in love with my best friend of ten years and can’t say shit about it.” 

sukuna’s smirk fell instantly, face contouring into a scowl as his jaw clenched, “shut the fuck up-“

“you shut the fuck up!” satoru snapped as suguru sighed gently, hand reaching out to place itself on sukuna’s shoulder, holding the fuming frat boy back. 

god knows he doesn’t play about his girl. 

“what happened, satoru?” geto sighed, turning to face the annoyed man, “she leave or somethin’?” 

satoru didn’t look up, eyes gazing at the floor, “she always fuckin’ leaves.”

sukuna snorted, “damn.” 

satoru’s head snapped up, mouth parting to utter words that would have sukuna swinging if suguru didn’t cut in. 

“isn’t that your arrangement, satoru?” suguru sighed, almost bored as he watched his friend internally spiral. 

satoru glanced at suguru before clenching his jaw, something violent blooming beneath his chest. yes, yes, it was your arrangement. 

no emotions, no feelings, strictly physical.

you didn’t owe him shit, not your warmth or you sleeping over or texting properly, but he couldn’t help it.  

what the fuck was wrong with him? 

since the moment he’d seen you at that stupid party a month ago, he’s felt different. like a cold you could feel coming on gently but one morning, it hits you like a truck. 

this was that morning. 

he didn’t know why he was so irritated by you leaving, he didn’t know why he hated your dry texts despite knowing that was simply how you were. he didn’t know why the thought of not knowing you as much as he wanted to kill him just a little. 

fuck, he was a pussy. 

he felt like a pathetic sorority girl. 

what did he even know about emotions? satoru had never had a girlfriend since middle school and that lasted two weeks. also, he was thirteen. 

satoru had gotten used to the fast-paced lifestyle he lived, the parties, chasing the rush, girls all over him. he never thought of slowing down, not even for a second. why would he?

satoru gojo loved his fucking life. he knew other guys would kill to be him. 

but ever since that night of the party, something shifted. something within him, in him, around him, he wasn’t even sure. but things started slowing down.

they slowed and shifted and changed till everything pointed towards you. 

you. you. you. 

you had consumed him entirely, whether you had meant to or not. and god knows, you never meant to. 

“yeah, i know, whatever.” satoru muttered with a grunt as he slid off the counter and dragged his feet back to his room, ignoring his two friends talking about him.

he didn’t like being in the dark with you. 

it was almost funny, yes, he almost wanted to laugh. 

satoru practically flinched when a girl brought up anything personal, brushing it off with a joke or distracting them with sex. 

now, he wanted to know every detail unspared, he wanted to know you, all of you.

pathetic, right? 

☀︎

you stood against the car door, arms crossed as you gazed at the big double doors. students filtered out slowly, chatty and animated as they recalled the day’s events. 

you couldn’t help your heart from clenching gently at the simplicity of it all, something you longed for but hated all the same. 

your eyes immediately fell upon familiar tufts of brunette hair, heart clenching as you watched oscar exit the doors. a small smile painted your face as you watched him look around before his eyes fell upon you, eyes widening before a grin split his small face, your name leaving his mouth in a short yell. 

his backpack bounced awkwardly against his smaller frame, laces untied, barreling across the pavement with no regard for physics or personal space. 

you barely had time to brace before he collided into you, arms locking around your waist like a lifeline, the force of it knocking the breath from your lungs in a way that felt familiar and warm. 

with your eyes shut tightly, you leaned down to embrace the eight year old, smiling gently against his soft locks, smelling of your grandma’s floral shampoo. 

“easy, kid,” you murmured, bending slightly to wrap your arms around him anyway, “missed you.” 

your youngest brother grinned up at you, missing tooth and all, eyes bright and unburdened, something rare and something you vowed to protect. 

“did you see my drawing?! i told grandma to send it to you!” he immediately began rummaging through his iron-man backpack with frantic little hands, “i made it for you!” 

“i saw it, kid, i loved it!” you said, kneeling down as he shoved a wrinkled piece of paper into your outstretched hand, the familiar crayon drawing tugging at your heartstrings violently, in a way only your brothers knew how. 

it was a drawing of three stick figures, the only girl in between two smaller boys. all exaggerated smiles, your hair longer than everyone else’s and taller. you, him and sonny. 

you swallowed and smoothed down the paper gently, “i love it, buddy. you mind if i take it with me? wanna put it on my wall.” 

he beamed with a frantic nod of his head, like you’d handed him the world. 

he hugged you once more, beginning to ramble about his day as you looked up to see your fourteen year old brother trailing behind him, slower and taller, shoulders tight with too much weight for someone his age. his jaw was already set before he even reached you. 

“aren’t you supposed to be at college?” he muttered as you stood, allowing oscar to clammer into the backseat. 

sonny was taller than you now, even taller than he was two weeks ago when you’d last seen him. 

it honestly made you want to cry. and you never cried. 

“aren’t you supposed to be suspended?” 

oscar looked between you both from his place in the back seat, “yeah, sonny got in trouble.”

sonny shot him a glare, “you’re a snitch!”

oscar gasped, offended, "grandma says snitching is telling the truth before someone lies.”

you glared at the older boy, arms crossed as he avoided your gaze. 

“get in the car.” you sighed as you opened the driver’s door and climbed into the car, sonny moving to the passenger’s seat. 

your brother climbed in, “missed you too.” 

you couldn’t help the small clench of your chest, ribs aching as you fought back the urge to just hug him and tell him you missed him and that being apart from them for even two weeks truly did kill you. 

and you wished you’d be seeing him under better circumstances, you wished he’d get his shit together, truly. 

the ride home was loud. 

oscar talked over sonny, sonny talked over oscar and you navigated traffic with muscle memory precision, one hand on the wheel as the other reached back to stop oscar every time he got too excited when rambling that he leaned forward towards the front. 

“seatbelt, oz.” 

“i’m buckled!” 

“that is not buckled.” 

luckily, home came into view faster than you’d expected. 

your grandma was already on the steps when you’d pulled in, expression sharp as glass and hair as big as ever. 

“look at you,” she called out as soon as you stepped out, “you don’t eat over there?”

“hi grandma.” you replied with a small smile and shake of your head as you exited the car, your brothers rushing out as well. 

oscar shot past you, launching himself at her legs, “grandma!” 

“angel,” she cooed, kissing his hair, “you eat your lunch?” 

he nodded enthusiastically, “and my apple!” 

she shot you a triumphant look, “see? he listens to his grandmother.” 

sonny walked towards the house, your grandma shooting him a little glare, “say hi to your grandma! come give me a kiss!” 

sonny groaned before leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek as she grabbed his face, eyes assesing him, “y’didn’t eat.” 

you grinned gently, shaking your head softly as oscar walked up to you and began pulling you into the house, already buzzing with life. 

something garlic-heavy simmered on the stove, one of your grandma's dramatic shows played in the back, while her old music simultaneously played from her record player. 

chaos in the most nostalgic way possible, you almost felt sick. 

“school said they let y’brother off on a warning,” your grandmother stated as oscar rushed to change while you and sonny stood by the living room, watching your grandma stir something on the stove, “they were really dramatic.” 

you shook your head as sonny stiffened. 

“what’d y’even do, kid? givin’ me a headache!” she demanded, pointing a wooden spoon at him as you watched sonny sigh.

“nothing,” he muttered as you scoffed, placing your jacket down on the chair but quickly picking it up when your grandma glared, placing it on the coat rack. 

“he pushed a kid.” 

her brows lifted, “he deserve it?” 

sonny blinked, “yeah?” 

she nodded once, “okay, go shower.” 

sonny looked stunned as you sighed with a shake of your head. 

sonny was quick to grin, rushing over to kiss your grandma on the cheek before fleeing to his room as you watched with wide eyes. 

“grandma!” 

your grandma looked at you through her lashes, glasses rested on the bridge of her nose as she kept stirring the sauce, “hmm?” 

“you can’t just let him get away with pushing a kid, he’ll just do it again-“

“i hope to god he will if that kid deserved it-“

you groaned, taking a seat on the counter with a shake of your head. 

there was no point in arguing with her, you knew that by now. 

you could feel her gaze on you as you gazed at the floor, all knowing and quiet in the way that made you want to spill secrets you didn’t even know you had. 

she eyed you over her glasses, “y’know you don’t have to worry about your bothers.” 

with a tight chest, your wide eyes turned to her, wishing you could just listen and let it all go.  

but you couldn’t because despite it all, you felt like they were your responsibility, especially sonny. 

“i know, it’s just-“ you sighed gently, soft hair spilling around your face as you avoided her gaze, “i just wish he’d stop getting into trouble so much.” 

she clicked her tongue, “always worryin’ about things you can’t control. that’s your problem, doll, always worryin’ and thinkin’ about things before you even let em happen…”

you gazed at her then, something sharp aching beneath your ribs, “i could control it if you just let me yell at him.” 

“you can yell at him plenty, won’t change a thing. he’ll do what he wants to do and he’ll just resent you along with it,” she pointed out, “just let him be, doll. he’ll come round eventually.” 

with a small sigh, you pondered her words. 

your yelling never really made a difference, nor did your lectures. you knew sonny valued your opinion, you knew he cared about what you thought of him, he just couldn’t help it. 

he’d been through a lot, you all have. 

“that overthinkin’ brain of yours is also why you haven’t brought a boy home yet-“

“ugh, grandma!” 

she simply shrugged, “you stayin’ for dinner?” 

with a soft sigh, you hopped off the counter and walked behind the stove to help her, “yeah, i’ll stay.” 

☀︎

satoru didn’t mean to end up outside your apartment. 

that was the lie he kept telling himself as he stood on the cracked pavement across the street, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, icy gaze fixed on the dark windows above. your place sat quietly between two identical buildings, blinds drawn and balcony empty. 

nothing seemed out of place or wrong, yet he tipped his head back, squinting lightly like the angle alone might give him answers. 

there was no movement, no light, no you. 

he felt it, he knew it. 

he exhaled through his nose, jaw flexing as his mind ran, back and forth. what should he do? 

should he listen to his gut? 

this was stupid, absolutely insane. 

satoru had texted you once since that morning, just simply asking if you were down to come over, but you didn’t reply, so really, what choice did he have? 

satoru felt embarrassed to say he waited for fifteen minutes before the front door buzzed open, someone else letting a guest in, the man slipping inside before he could rethink anything. 

he took the stairs two at a time, something in him buzzing at the thought of seeing you. and once he reached the sixth floor, your door greeted him, exactly where he remembered it. 

same wooden door, same crooked number that made his heart race at the prospect of who was behind it.

he knocked then. once, twice, louder. but silence greeted him. 

his chest tightened, irritation simmering beneath his ribs as he huffed gently, something sharp and irrational. 

“fuck…” he muttered under his breath, leaning closer like he might hear your footsteps on the other side if he tried hard enough. maybe you were in the shower? 

alas, he was met with nothing. 

had you lied to him? you told him you were home. 

and before satoru could think about it, before his mind brought him back down, before that logical part of him that always seemed to disappear when you were involved brought him down to earth, he’d pressed call.

it rang once, twice as satoru’s feet drummed against the carpeted floors, impatient and utterly irrational. 

then, “hello?” 

your voice slid through the line, all low and unbothered, like he hadn’t been going insane chasing it’s echo. 

“hey,” he stated, too fast and immediately regretful. why the fuck did he call? what could he even say? 

why aren't you home? where are you? why don’t you care? 

“gojo?” 

he gulped when your voice came through once more, he could hear you move somewhere quieter, words clearer and more apparent, only worsening his embarrassment. 

“sorry, uh, don’t know why i called.”

a pause met him, silent and he could almost hear your contemplation and he hated it. 

you were definitely judging him right now. 

“you okay?” 

satoru’s eyes fluttered shut, jaw clenching as he ran his hand through his snowy locks, chest churning with that same tightness once more. 

his eyes glanced at your door once more. 

“yeah, uh,” he swallowed, “just, you said you were home.” 

another pause. longer this time. 

“i am home.” 

his grip tightened on his phone, “your place? doesn’t seem like it.” 

fuck, fuck, fuck. 

his crazy was showing and he didn’t appreciate it one bit. 

“are you at my apartment, gojo?” 

your voice was inquisitive, maybe a bit judgy but you didn’t seem mad. 

he shut his eyes once more, forehead tipping against the cool wood of your door. 

he might as well dig himself deeper, he’d made it this far already. 

“was nearby,” he lied easily, “you weren’t answering me, thought i’d stop by.” 

silence stretched between you for a moment and he’d never wanted to read your thoughts more than he did now. he wanted to reach out through the stupid phone and pull you right where he was, where he could see those wide eyes, bored and so fucking pretty. 

“i’m busy,” you stated quietly, “you didn’t have to stop by.” 

he swallowed then, “yeah, i know.” 

another noise on your end, a younger voice, distant but excited calling out your name. 

“dinner’s ready!” 

his stomach dropped. that definitely wasn’t here. where the hell were you? 

you moved the phone away briefly, voice muffled as you responded to the little boy.

but what had satoru gulp was the softness in your tone, all too gentle and too natural, a lilt in your words he’d never heard from you before and that irrational feeling sparked in his chest once more. 

fuck, what he’d give to hear you address him with that softness, to see your face void of that coolness, to have you vulnerable in a way that didn’t only come with sex. 

“i need to go, gojo.” you breathed out, “i’ll see yo-” 

“who was that?” he asked before he could stop himself, swallowing gently as you went quiet once more. he could practically hear the way your shoulders squared. 

“no one. i have to go.” 

satoru should’ve let it go, he really should’ve but he couldn’t. 

“how could it be no one? i obviously heard someone say something,” his brows furrowed now, frustration rising when he heard your exasperated sigh, “where are you? what’s home?” 

“what’s with the questions, man?” you sighed out as he heard muffled voices on your end, a tv playing, pots clanging, “i’ll see you when i see you.” 

he began making his way down the stairwell, further and further away from your vacant apartment. 

“you comin’ back tonight?” he questioned, voice quieter now, hopeful despite himself. 

it was easier to grill you when he had you soft and pliant under him, when you were too fucked out to think. yes, that was his fucked up plan. 

fuck you until you didn’t have the energy to lie, then get the truth out of you. 

satoru hated to admit that he did that often. when he sensed you were stressed but didn’t tell him, when he wanted to bring you dinner but you wouldn’t tell him what your favorite place was, when he needed you vulnerable enough to let him in, just a little. 

truth serum dick is what he called it. 

“no, probably not.” you stated finally as he bit his tongue to keep the frustrated groan out.

his jaw clenched, “right. cool.” 

it was silent between you once more before you finally spoke up, “well, goodnight.” 

the line went dead before he could respond, now out in the cold as he walked away from your apartment building, chest heavier than when he’d arrived, even more lost than this morning. 

this is why satoru never did feelings. 

☀︎

the courtyard was always busy on wednesday mornings, you were never sure why. 

students spilled across the cobblestone paths in loose clusters, coffee cups in hand and backpack slung lazily ober their shoulders. 

you moved through it all slowly, tote hanging off one shoulder as you held your chai latte in one hand, head pounding with the chaos of the past two days. 

satoru didn’t text you after he called two days ago and you were glad. 

you didn’t know why it bothered you when he called, it wasn’t even the fact that he’d shown up unannounced, he did that sometimes. granted, you were home when he did, but still. 

you hated the worry, the way he questioned you like he truly wanted to know about were you were, who you were with. you hated that he sounded like he cared. he shouldn’t. 

satoru wasn’t your boyfriend, nor was he your friend, at least not traditionally. 

the frat boy always loved to blur the lines between you, too charming and kind for his own good, but you were adamant on keeping that line between fuck buddies and more crystal clear. 

with a soft sigh, the science building came into view and you almost made it without having to speak to anyone. 

“hey, trouble.” his familiar deep voice cut through the noise like it always did, warm and careless, so unmistakably him. 

you slowed down just slightly before turning, a brow lifting as you pulled one of your wired earbuds halfway out, “gojo.” 

there he was, hands tucked into the pockets of his pants, shades perched on his nose despite the overcast sky. his white hair was a mess, as if he’d run his hands through it too many times to count. 

the man looked infuriating good, relaxed and boyish. like he hadn’t panicked about your whereabouts on the phone two days ago. 

“you didn’t tell me you were back.” his lips pulled into that lazy grin you knew so well, the one that made anyone melt under him every time. 

and god, if he wasn’t wearing those stupid glasses, you’d see the sheer hurt in his gaze, simmering beneath blue eyes that had longed to set on you since that stupid party. 

“just got in last night.” you replied simply, adjusting your bag as your head tilted, “you have class?” 

“mhm,” he simply hummed because you didn’t need to know that he’d finished class an hour ago but had been waiting around to see you because he knew your schedule by now, “will you come over tonight?”

you began walking slowly once more as he fell into step beside you without missing a beat, long legs slowing down to keep up with you. 

“sure.” you stated casually as he grinned gently, relief filling him more than he’d like to admit. 

“yeah, yeah, pretend you’re not obsessed with me.”

you rolled your eyes, “annoyed, more like.” 

he laughed quietly, arm brushing against yours as you sighed gently. 

“y’missed me, i can tell.” 

“i saw you three days ago.” you replied dryly as satoru watched you from the corner of his eye.

“y’haven’t missed my cock-” 

“gojo!” you smacked his toned arm as your doe eyes glanced around to see if anyone had listened. 

you couldn’t really tell because people always stared at satoru wherever he was, so you didn’t know if people were looking because of his crude words or his pretty face. 

“well, i’ve definitely missed your p-” 

“i’m not coming over.” you began walking faster, ahead of the laughing frat president who merely took two strides to catch up with you, his arm going around your shoulder to pull you against him. 

you huffed, arms crossing but allowing his arm to stay where it was, despite the itch to push him off. 

you weren’t sure why you didn’t truly feel the need to shoo his touch away, but allowed it. 

“okay, m’sorry,” he chuckled against you, bicep curling gently behind you, as if to keep you in place in case you tried to flee. could you blame him for that? “i’ll text you after the meeting.” 

yes, the alpha phi meeting that took place every wednesday. 

you loved to make fun of it, truly, what discussion simply needed to be had every week? 

that week’s party theme, how many girls they’d fucked over, new torture methods for pledges. 

“so, why’d you need to go back home?” satoru brought up as casually as he possibly could, immediately feeling your smaller body tense under him, quick to shrug his arm off then. 

he immediately cursed himself, damn his impatience. he should’ve waited until he’d made you finish at least four times under him later tonight. 

“family.” you stated simply, bringing your drink up to your plush lips to take a small sip, satoru scoffing from beside you. 

“vague as shit.” 

“on purpose.” 

his grin widened despite his jaw tightening a fraction, “okay, trouble, that’s fine. stay mysterious.” 

you scoffed gently, shooting him a look beneath your lashes, “you usually like that about me.” 

“i like a lot of things about you,” he shot back easily, naturally, as if the words weighed nothing but the truth, “doesn’t mean i don’t get curious.” 

you hummed, noncommittal, “you can get curious.” 

satoru sighed at your dismissal, “it’s just when you said home, i assumed it was home, not home.” 

you stopped walking then, turning to face him, face still blank but your hand clenching where it held your drink, “why are we doing this?”

“what?” satoru laughed it off despite the tightening of his chest.

“why are you making it weird?” you voiced blankly, head tilting to gaze up at him with eyes so uninterested, it almost hurt, “why do you need to know?” 

because he wanted to. because he wanted to know you. so bad, it made him ache with it. 

“because we’re friends.” 

god fucking forbid. he was pretty sure the only thing that was worse than your coolness was if you friend-zoned him. he was pretty sure he’d faint. 

your head tilted then, studying him with those pretty wide eyes that rendered him weak, “we’re friends?” 

satoru gulped then, “mhm.” 

you went quiet, doe eyes squinting at the man, as if you could see right through him and something in him almost hoped you did. what if you just found out? no, what if he just told you about the amount of emotion he held for you? so much emotion, he was sick with it. 

“okay then.” 

satoru sighed gently at your acceptance, following when you turned to walk away once more, falling into step beside you. 

“will you still come over?” 

you nodded, “yes.”

“cool,” he stated slightly, ignoring the little flutter beneath his sternum, relief and need alike, “i’ll clean my room.” 

you merely side-eyed him, “how romantic.” 

satoru grinned gently, dangerous and bright, “only for you.” 

with a roll of your eyes, you slowed as the doors to the building came closer, “go to class, gojo.” 

he leaned closer, voice dropping, "will you text when you’re done?” 

you met his gaze then, unreadable as always, "probably not.” 

satoru grinned, leaning down to kiss your temple gently, “you’re so hot.” 

you turned and walked away before he could see the small smile that painted your lips, the frat boy standing there longer than necessary. his hands dug into his pockets, chest warm but heavy, smirk fading into something sharper and quieter. 

☀︎

your call with sonny ended just after seven, leaving both frustration and anger simmering beneath your skin. the kid had a talent, that was for sure, and it revolved around royally pissing you off. 

it semed like every time you visited, he resented you for leaving so he’d do anything to piss you off to get you to come back. fuck, some of your friends haven’t visited family in a year, and here you were, on a train back home every two weeks, sometimes less. 

part of you didn’t want to complain because you missed your brothers and grandma every day, truly. but the other part wished or the relief of not having to worry about them constantly, of wondering whether sonny was staying out of trouble, if your grandmother was tired, if oscar was okay. it was exhausting. 

you stared at your phone long after it dimmed, breathing shallow and head pounding. 

your heart was doing that awful thing again, racing without rhythm, as if looking for something real to latch onto. you hated this feeling.

you hated the helplessness of being far, of not being able to fix things. you hated that no matter how hard you tried, it never felt like enough. 

you didn’t even check the time before grabbing your jacket and leaving your apartment, no text warning the boy either. you just needed to forget. 

you needed him. 

it seemed like the walk to the frat, the whole twenty minutes wasn’t enough to cool you off, not even a little bit.

if anything, the overthinking increased with the lack of music, forgetting to grab your headphones on your way out. so it was just you and your thoughts. and fuck, did you have a lot of them. 

once the frat house came into view, your chest loosened just a bit at the thought of the frat president inside. you were a mere 6 weeks into your little arrangement and you hated to admit, it was one of the best decisions you’d ever made. satoru was the perfect escape when things got too loud. 

that would explain the looseness in your ribs, the buzzing under your skin, fueling your need to see him. 

so much so, you barely acknowledged the rowdy yelling inside, voices echoing. you could hear arguing, chairs scraping, chuckling. the kind of noise that usually made you turn around and leave. 

but you were too in your head to notice, no. tonight, you simply walked straight in. 

and fuck, did you regret it. 

because all twenty-five boys turned to face you from their place in the living room. and right there, standing on the coffee table in an amusing attempt to seem almighty, was satoru gojo. 

you could see a scowling sukuna on the arm chair by him, the vice president glancing down at his phone. 

you could also spot choso in the corner, eyes half-lidded and barely focused. suguru was on the chair beside sukuna, eyes on you where you’d frozen. 

fuck, the meeting. 

you forgot about the stupid, useless, good for nothing wednesday meetings. 

all 50 eyes stared right at you, some amused, some trailing over the expanse of your body, some confused. you wished for the floor to eat you right up. 

but they didn’t need to know that. 

so you simply straightened up, arms crossing as you looked straight at the president who was mid-rant about cleaning rotations when you’d walked in. 

when his blue gaze fell over you, everything stopped. 

the words died in his throat, body shifting and eyes locking onto yours like the rest of the frat had blurred out of existence. concern flickered on his face first, making you believe that maybe your argument with sonny didn’t settle like you’d hoped it would. his emotions were sharp and real before he masked it with something softer. 

“hey,” his words were gentle in a way you wanted to despise, especially in front of his stupid pack of frat boys, “what’s wrong?” 

heat rushed to your face, humiliation crawling up your spine, despite your unchanged expression. 

you didn’t want to speak, not really. you wanted to simply leave.

and satoru could tell, but fuck, he wouldn’t let that happen. 

“alright,” he spoke up firmly, eyes turning to the boys who were still watching you, “hey! eyes on me, assholes. we’re done.” 

“thank fuck.” sukuna murmured, immediately standing up and walking towards the door, shooting you one look, almost amused, before exiting. 

sukuna’s been pissy the past two days and satoru knew exactly who the culprit to his anger was. 

“we’re literally in the middle-” nanami began but the white-haired man wouldn’t hear it, stepping down from the coffee table, eyes meeting yours once more. 

you still stood by the door, arms crossed in an attempt to keep your composure despite the pink of your pretty cheeks, face so utterly gorgeous, he couldn’t blame the guys for looking. 

but the pledges will fucking get it for that one, he’ll make sure of it. 

“meeting’s over.” satoru repeated, firmer now and uncaring as he made his way over to you, deliberate and slow as his eyes studied you. as if this was the most natural thing in the world.

“cmere.” he murmured, low enough that only you could hear and in a rare moment of vulnerability, you were quick to move towards him, desperate to shield yourself from the boys. 

satoru was quick to take ahold of your hand, gently guiding you away from the living room, up the steps to his room. the voices resumed behind you in confused and teasing murmurs.

fuck, he’ll kill them all. 

the door to his room closed with a quiet click and that’s when you cracked, turning to face him as he locked the door. 

“i forgot about the meeting,” you swallowed, face blank but eyes wide, "i shouldn't have come.” 

“hey.” satoru moved towards you, slow and gentle in his words, large hand quick to frame your face, taking ahold of your soft cheek, “you’re fine. you’re perfect. it was a stupid fuckin’ meeting anyway. y’did me a favor.” 

and he meant it. the pledges were annoying the fuck out of him and sukuna’s pissy mood dampened the entirety of the space, still mad over something his best friend had said yesterday. god knows with them. 

satoru’s grin reassured you more than you’d like to admit, a breath leaving you as your face relaxed in his hold. 

your wide doe eyes looked at him through pretty lashes, swallowing gently, “i just don’t wanna think anymore.” 

satoru nodded slowly, moving forward so his other hand could cup your jaw, the one previously on your cheek moving to grip at you hair, maneuvering your face up closer to his, your breath hitching at the grip. 

“yeah?” he muttered, breath fanning across your glossy lips as his nose brushed against your own, “how do you want me, baby?” 

electricity shot through you then, straight to your core as you sighed gently, “hard.” 

satoru grinned then, menacing and dangerous as he took one last step forward till he was flush against you, “fuckin’ gladly.” 

it didn’t take long for satoru to have you pliant against him, trembling and moaning as you leaned into him, chest to his. his large hand stroked your spine, vertebrae to vertebrae as you shook against him. 

at least it didn’t feel like long, but realistically, it must've been two hours minimum. 

he had you in every state imaginable, positions you’d never even known about and five orgasms later, after he’d let you take the lead atop him, your were molten for him. 

“still with me, baby?” he murmured against your hair, your damp skin against his own, his heart beating a mile a minute as he came down himself. 

he was pretty sure one more round and he’d be shooting blanks. 

“mhm.” you hummed above him, he was still nestled inside your warmth, you were too out of it to move, “felt good, toru.”

satoru’s heart skipped a beat or twelve. he was sure you could feel it and suddenly, he was glad you were so out of it. he loved how soft sex rendered you. you never called him gojo during sex, didn’t have the energy to hide your emotions or the desperate mewls that left you. 

you were the prettiest goddamn thing he’d ever seen. 

“m’glad, pretty.” he muttered against your hair, long fingers still tracing shapes up and down your spine, brushing your hair occasionally, “hey, got a question for you, baby.”

you simply hummed as satoru smiled softly, placing a short kiss on the soft strands on your head. he was surprised he even had enough energy for this, but the need to know you overpowered anything else. 

“why’d you go home, hmm? somethin’ happen?” 

you were basically half-asleep, dozing off against him but fighting it to the best of your ability. 

“ugh, s’just sonny.” you groaned against his pec, his soothing movements against your hair and back not helping you fight off sleep. 

satoru’s brows furrowed, jaw clenching momentarily, “who’s sonny?”

“my brother. always getting in trouble.” you murmured against him, eyes closed, surely just resting. 

satoru fought off the relief in his chest in favor of questioning you, the concern vastly evident in his face if you would just look at him, “what’d he do?” 

“ugh, what doesn’t he do?” you groaned, “i think he just misses me. or how things were before. so doing stupid shit is his only way of getting me to come back home so much.” 

satoru nodded mindlessly, still stroking your back as he listened intently, “before what?” 

“my parents.” you whispered against him, voice growing just a bit more clear and he knew you were coming out of the high, gaining your logic just a bit more. 

“what about your parents, baby?” 

silence met him, stretching for a minute as he kept coaxing you to answer with nimble fingers, calloused against your soft skin. 

when a minute passed, you turned and sat up, hands braced against his abdomen, but not in the filthy way it was before. no, this time, your eyes weren’t hazy and you weren’t moaning and whimpering, but looking at him like you regretted ever coming here. 

“um, i need to shower.” 

with those low words, you pushed off of him, cringing when he pulled out. he watched as you limped towards the en suite, groaning as his arm covered his face when the door shut. 

“fuck me.”

satoru did feel a little guilty for using sex to get answers, but what else could he do? 

his bedroom walls expressed more emotion than you did. 

and what the fuck happened with your parents? and is that why you’re so bad with your emotions? what about your brother? was he the reason you were so anxious sometimes? or why you disappeared some weekends? 

fuck, he didn’t know if your confessions made him feel better or worse. he was left with more questions than before you’d arrived. 

see? truth serum dick. 

☀︎

coming down the stairs of the frat after spending hours with satoru was always the worst part. 

it was like leaving a warm house and stepping out into a chilling winter, not because the air changed but because you did. because everything in you hardened again the second you were out of his embrace. 

satoru’s sweater adorned your smaller figure, damp hair tucked behind your ears and cheeks flushed from the heat of the shower. your skin was still buzzing faintly from your previous actions, from him and from the fact that you’d walked into that meeting like a fucking idiot. 

satoru was still in the shower when you left and you liked it that way. you didn’t particularly like the look on his face whenever he watched you leave. it made you feel something. uncomfortable, maybe? guilty? 

the living room was quiet now, the time nearing 11pm. a couple of the boys littered the place but none of them met your eyes, no doubt from whatever threat satoru had texted them when he thought you weren’t looking. 

when you made it down the steps, you almost made it past the kitchen before you heard it, “water?”

you froze, turning to face suguru geto by the kitchen counter in a pair of low hanging plaid pyjama pants. 

he was holding out a water bottle he’d clearly been drinking from. 

“no, thanks.” you stated bluntly, not necessarily polite but not unkind. 

satoru started keeping water bottles in the mini fridge in his room since you’d started your little arrangement, instead of the beer cans that used to occupy the space. he even kept mini versions of your favorite snacks by his bedside drawer for when you two went for a really long time. 

who said chivalry was dead? 

suguru’s violet eyes flicked over you lazily, amusement dancing in his gaze as you lifted your chin. 

“y’know, i don’t blame him for being down bad.” 

your brows furrowed just the slightest but your face remained somewhat stoic, head tilting just a bit. 

“what do you mean?” 

sugar smirked lazily, “y’know. satoru. m’saying i don’t blame him for being so obsessed.” 

your heart skipped a beat for all the wrong reasons, “he’s not obsessed. that’s just how he is. it’s satoru.” 

suguru’s mouth twitched and your irritation grew. 

“yeah,” he agreed easily, a shrug leaving him, “that’s kinda my point.” 

you didn’t move, nor did you look away, a sense of dread brewing in your gut as you scrutinized his words, “i don’t like riddles. if you have something to say, then say it.” 

suguru chuckled gently, gaze drifting, unfocused now like he was thinking aloud rather than speaking to you, “i’ve known the guy for years,” he continued, tone careless, “he doesn’t rearrange his life for people, everyone always accommodates him. but ever since your little arrangement, i dunno, he’s been different. focused on one thing. one person, i should say.” 

your jaw tightened, “you’re reading into it.” 

“maybe,” suguru shrugged, “or maybe it’s just obvious when someone who lives for excess suddenly starts actin’...soft.” 

that word landed wrong. soft. 

like something settled. stayed. 

you scoffed slightly, ignoring the urge to flee just for a moment, “clearly you don’t know him as well as you think. the guy’s just bored, what we have is convenient.” 

suguru laughed then, louder than you liked, not cruel but knowing. 

“if this is bored,” he stated, eyes flickering towards the staircase with an amused grimace, “then god help us when he’s actually invested.” 

invested. your fingers flexed at your sides.

the way he said it, so casual and unconcerned, it made you nauseous.

did you really read it all wrong? you thought satoru was like this with everyone, his ability to be all-consuming just something that was fixed within him. 

could he really feel for you beyond what you’d agreed upon? no, there was no way. 

no emotions, no feelings, strictly physical. 

“for what it’s worth,” suguru added after a beat, pulling you out of whatever spiral you were finding yourself in, “he’ll probably get over it. it’s satoru, after all.” 

probably. the word sat there, unfinished. 

you watched the dark-haired man sport a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, so clearly false. 

“he gets over everything and everyone,” he added quickly, like he was convincing both of you, “he gets like this sometimes. burns real hot for a bit then somethin’ else comes along.” 

your chest loosened just a bit, not relief exactly but permission. 

“yeah,” you muttered, “i figured.” 

suguru nodded, though his gaze drifted past you again, towards the soft rush of water still running upstairs like a tell he couldn’t ignore. 

“yeah,” he muttered and fuck, you could see that he was lying, that he could barely convince himself of that, “don’t lose sleep over it.” 

you didn’t respond. because you knew he didn’t believe it himself. 

suguru simply sensed your panic and tried to backtrack.

he wouldn't have hesitated. wouldn't have said probably. 

you adjusted the sweater around you, fingers curling into the fabric that still smelled like him and moved toward the door, heart beating a mile a minute. your mind was stuck in some sort of labyrinth. 

behind you, suguru’s eyes fixed on you, regret filling him as he watched you flee. 

fuck, fuck, fuck. 

satoru was going to kill him. 

☀︎

satoru found suguru in the kitchen ten minutes later. 

his white hair was still damp, a towel slung around his neck as his grey sweats hugged his hips. his chest was still damp with heat, seeming as if he had rushed downstairs. the man was digging into the fridge with far more aggression than necessary and he’d checked his phone three times already. 

“you look happy.” suguru offered mildly, not turning around as he twisted the cap off his protein shake. 

satoru slammed the fridge shut, eyes sharp, “did you see her leave?” 

suguru paused for a fraction of a second before nodding, “like ten minutes ago.”

satoru’s jaw tightened, “fuckin’ sneak. did she say anything?” 

suguru took a sip, eyes finally flicking to him, “nah. just…rushed outta here. very pretty, by the way.”

that earned him a glare, satoru punching his shoulder harshly as suguru hissed, “shut the fuck up. why the fuck is she not answerin’ my calls?”

yes, you always rushed out of here when you’d visit the frat, but you did grant satoru the decency of staying on call with him while you went home, ensuring you stay safe. well, at least that was part of the reason. he also just loved speaking to you. 

but it was 11pm right now and you lived twenty minutes away, were you stupid? why would you not let him know so he could walk you home, at least? 

and now, he’d called you four times since leaving the shower and noting your absence. you always answered when it was late, because even though you acted all tough, he knew you appreciated his company on the phone as you walked home, maybe just a bit scared. 

satoru exhaled through his nose, jaw ticking as he dragged a hand down his damp face. the adrenaline from earlier hadn’t worn off yet, neither had the warmth. 

his sheets still smelled of you, something sweet and faintly rich that clung to his bedding whether he wanted it to or not. 

and as much as it killed him, he always wanted it. 

satoru checked the time again. 11:14pm. 

too late, too dark, too fucking quiet. 

“she’s got a long walk.” satoru said more to himself than anything, already reaching for his abandoned hoodie on the stool from that morning. 

suguru’s brow lifted, “you’re goin’ after her?” 

satoru shot him a look like that was the dumbest question he’d ever heard, “m’not lettin’ her walk home alone like this.”

“like what?” 

satoru hesitated, “it’s dark. and she’s tired.”

suguru watched him closely now, considering him for a moment longer than necessary. the tension in his shoulders, the way his phone was clutched in his hand, the way his bravado had thinned into something sharper and more deliberate. 

“y’know, you worry a lot for someone who claims not to care.” suguru stated lightly, guilt stabbing at him for his earlier mess-up with you. he hoped he didn’t scare you away but something told him he certainly did, even though he didn’t mean to. 

god forbid a man gets excited that his friend has finally developed non-sexual feelings for a girl. which was ironic, giving that the entire nature of your relationship was sexual. 

satoru groaned, “don’t fuckin’ start. m’not in the mood.” 

“just sayin’.”

“yeah, i know what you’re sayin’,” satoru muttered, tugging his hoodie over his head, “you always say, you should shut the fuck up once in a while.”

if he only knew. 

satoru moved toward the door, pausing only long enough to check his phone one last time. still nothing. 

his chest felt tight in a way he didn’t like. not panic, not yet, just that familiar pull. the one that kept him tethered to someone who refused to let him hold on properly. 

“just tell her you’re worried, man” 

satoru didn’t turn around, “she hates that.”

and that was the thing. he knew what you hated, what you liked, the exact way your entire being shifted when you thought he cared too much. 

but you still wouldn’t let him know you. 

the door locked shut behind him, leaving suguru alone in the kitchen with a half-drunk protein shake and the uneasy realization that this wasn’t just satoru being infatuated. 

this was attachment. and satoru gojo was already in too deep. 

and suguru might have just ruined that for him.

☀︎

an - i wasn't supposed to post iamb next but felt super inspired !! a shorter chapter but wanted to post smthn for u guyss! also peep the little ewds mentions ahhh !! + edited nonna out cuz reread and thought it was cringey of me, sry for being basic

also if u want to he tagged for the future fics PLS comment under the iamb MASTERLIST, not here cuz its easier to all be in one place

you couldn’t remember the last time you’d slept through an entire night without waking up every few hours and staring blankly at the ceiling, spiraling thoughts keeping you company until sunrise. 

instead, you had a deep and comfortable sleep. the kind you genuinely thought stopped existing for you years ago. 

and somehow, against all reason, your brain supplied the answer before you could stop it. 

satoru. 

you physically recoiled from the thought. 

the movement caused satoru’s grip to tighten instinctively around your waist and your stomach dropped. 

fuck, this was so so so bad. 

your rules were practically meaningless now. 

you carefully lifted his arm from your waist, holding your breath the entire time as you slowly untangled yourself from him. 

after waiting for a second, eyes trained on his features, he was unmoving still and you breathed out. 

the second your feet touched the carpeted floors, relief flooded through you.

your clothes from last night were dry now, resting against the armchair and you made a beeline for the items, putting them on quickly but quietly. 

as your jeans buttoned fully, you heard shuffling from the bed behind you and your heart dropped. 

slowly, almost amusingly careful, you turned around to see that satoru hadn’t moved from his position. 

one arm tucked beneath his head, icy eyes half-open beneath the morning light as he watched you from his place in bed. 

for the first time since you’d met the boy, you felt your stomach churn. 

your stomach fluttered, not anxiety exactly, but something closer to apprehension. 

you could barely name it, but you felt a bit nervous. 

you were never nervous!

“um, i uh-” you cleared your throat once as satoru watched you lowly, jaw clenched under your gaze, “i should get home.” 

a beat passed, then another and you hated to admit how much you despised silence from satoru. he was always irritatingly loud and his silence kind of unnerved you. 

your eyes didn’t leave him, wide and watching, unusually unguarded and even he could see that. 

satoru closed his eyes once more then, pulling the blanket up higher to his chin and essentially going back to sleep. 

you felt a pang in your chest, his hurt practically tangible in the air between you. 

it isn’t my fault!

you had to remind yourself of that. the nature of your relationship was laid out clearly and he couldn’t blame you for re-establishing them every time you accidentally stepped over the line. 

so with that, you grabbed your bag from beside the door and exited his room. 

unbeknownst to you, satoru’s eyes fluttered open once more, chest heavy as he watched the door to his room close and he felt his jaw clench. 

and for once, it wasn’t hurt that settled but anger. 

fucking annoyance. 

it was utterly irritating how you refused to let him in. 

you were a fucking nuissance and he wanted you more than anything. 

☀︎

there was something wrong with you, you were sure. 

why was your anxiety flaring up? why were you so uneasy? 

why is satoru being off with you throwing you off your axis?

you noticed the change instantly, but refused to acknowledge it. 

it’s been three days since you’d woken up atop satoru gojo and he’d made no effort to see or text you since then. three.

this was unusual considering the frat president normally found at least six excuses a day to bother you. 

you’d become accustomed to random texts that made no sense, texts telling you to come to parties or him simply sending you his location. 

you’d ignore most of them anyways, so when your phone remained suspiciously quiet, you simply carried on with your day. 

what did it matter? if anything, space was perfect after the way you’d embarrassingly been atop him that morning. 

except you kept glancing at your phone throughout the second day then immediately becoming increasingly irritated with yourself. 

what were you expecting exactly? a good morning text? 

ugh, you nearly gagged at the thought. 

your feet swung back and forth where you’d been laying on your stomach atop your bedsheets. 

when your thumbs hovered over his contact anyways, you blamed it on the fact that you were bored and needed a distraction. 

trouble: come over?  8:32pm

his response came twenty minutes later. twenty. 

usually, the text would barely be received before he’d already answered. 

and the response made you wish you had never sent a text in the first place.

gojo: busy  8:54pm

busy? busy? 

your jaw clenched momentarily, a feeling you weren’t quite used to settling in your stomach like a bag of bricks. 

his text was left unanswered. 

you blamed the stupid storm and your stupid self for letting yourself sleep, unknowingly making you more vulnerable. 

you wanted nothing more than to go back and erase that from happening completely, but you couldn’t. so you’ll settle for regret. 

you were sprawled out on the grass beside luna, attempting to work on your paper while she rambled on about some girls from her economics lecture. 

it was sunny that day, warm enough that students littered the campus in little groups. 

“so, i told her-” luna paused momentarily, “are you even listening?” 

your eyes snapped to her from where you’d been scanning the quad, huffing with a short nod quickly, cheeks uncharacteristically warm. 

“yes, of course i’m listening!”

luna seemed unconvinced, eyes narrowed but she didn’t spare one more second before going back into her discussion. that’s what you loved about luna, she was truly the perfect distraction. 

until she started asking a million questions, then you were simply annoyed. 

it was a tuesday, meaning satoru usually came by after practice despite not having a single class anywhere near the science building. 

he always showed up purely to pester you like a particularly persistent stray cat. 

sometimes he’d bring you a cherry coke, sometimes a chai latte, depending on the weather. and sometimes he’d bring pastries and sit beside you, absolutely annoying you to near death. 

you thought you’d feel relief once he stopped, except your eyes kept drifting around, waiting for him to appear. no, willing him to appear. 

just as you went to snap yourself out of this limbo he’d put you in, you spotted him. 

it was embarrassing how your stomach instantly settled. 

only to drop again. 

satoru walked across the quad with nanami beside him, hands tucked into the pockets of his sweats as his sunglasses rested atop his head. 

satoru was laughing at something nanami had said, properly laughing and your eyes followed him automatically. 

satoru glanced over, gaze finding yours as if fate herself had dragged his eyes over. 

your face remained neutral but you didn’t look away. but he did. 

satoru looked away without a grin, a wave or coming over, simply leaving alongside his friend. 

your stomach twisted unpleasantly, eyes immediately moving downcast. 

“ouch…” luna stated as she turned to watch you. 

you lifted your head up, eyes blank, “what?” 

luna’s brows raised, “weren’t you two, like, besties just last week?” 

your ribs tightened, “tch. i told you we’re not friends.” 

and it was true. you weren’t lying. 

satoru and you were anything but friends, barely even acquaintances! 

so why should you care that he was being so annoying?

“you sure?” luna hummed, violet hair bouncing a bit, “cuz everytime we sit here, he’s really eager to-” 

“luna.” you cut off, refusing to acknowledge the pit at your stomach, “satoru means nothing to me. can we stop talking about this?” 

you placed your ipad beside you on the grass, huffing as you pulled your legs to your chest, resting your chin on your knees. 

ugh, he was so irritating!

you don’t remember the last time you spared any person, besides your brothers and grandma, this much thought. let alone satoru! 

that’s what you liked about him from the start, that you didn’t have to think when you were with him. he’s ruining everything!

“did he say anything about tonight’s party?” 

your ears perked up like a damn cat, head turning to face her, “party?” 

“mhmm.” luna nodded eagerly, ever the biggest fan of sartoru’s idiot frat, “i’m not sure of the theme but it should be insane! can he invite us?” 

your tongue poked against your cheek, eyes narrowed on your friend as your mind moved a mile a minute. 

practically every party satoru had ever invited you to, you’d rejected. 

and now he didn’t even bother to invite you. that just irritated you more. 

“we’re invited luna.” you smiled at her, almost smirking as she narrowed her eyes at you but grinned eagerly regardless. 

“seriously?” she excitedly voiced as you nodded with a shrug. 

“yup.” you nodded once, “we’re going.”

luna eyed you suspiciously, uncharacteristically wary about a party, “you sure? do you even know the theme?”

no, you didn’t. but how hard would that be to figure out? 

you’d become somewhat friendly with the frat the last few months. well, at least your kind of friendly. 

you could just ask. 

☀︎

it was an ABC party. 

Anything But Clothes. 

music bled through the walls violently enough that you could feel the bass vibrating beneath your shoes while bodies crowded the front lawn in every imaginable interpretation of the theme. 

people wearing trash bags were on the roof, a girl wearing a whole outfit made from beer boxes waiting in line for sukuna to let her in and a guy walked past wearing nothing but purple bubble wrap around his crotch. 

“college is a disease.” you muttered as you watched the insane state of the alpha phi house. 

luna snorted beside you, “says the girl wearing caution tape.” 

you glanced down at yourself, the bright yellow tape wrapped around your body in overlapping strips, creating a sort of mini dress. technically. 

it had taken nearly two hours and a breakdown to assemble. 

“ugh, this is ridiculous.” 

“hey, you look hot!” luna stated with a grin as she adjusted her makeshift crop top that was made out of playing cards. she looked great too. 

“alright, let’s go.” you stated as you looked at the line outside the frat that stretched down the porch steps and practically down the block. 

pledges stood near the entrance checking names while drunk sophomore and freshman attempted to negotiate. 

your stomach twisted then. maybe this was all stupid. 

fuck, you should’ve stayed home! what were you even thinking? 

satoru obviously doesn’t want you here and he clearly has no interest in speaking to you. 

“next.” the deep voice immediately pulled your attention forward. 

sukuna. of course.

the vice president stood at the front of the door like a nightclub bouncer from hell, arms crossed and expression murderous. 

so murderous, you didn’t even feel the need to laugh at the pool noodles wrapped around his crotch like a diaper. 

he looked thoroughly unimpressed as the guy stepped forward, “c-carson.” 

the poor freshman in front of him visibly swallowed as sukuna looked down at his phone. 

he didn't even speak, simply looked up and shot the kid a look, as if daring him to argue that he was on the list. 

“um, i-”

“next!” 

luna winced from beside you, “as much as i would love sukuna to yell at me, he’s really scary.” 

you nodded once, “he enjoys this.” 

sukuna’s eyes lifted then, rolling his eyes at the two freshman girls babbling excuses and flirtatious remarks at him. then his eyes met yours.

his gaze dropped to the caution tape, slowly and deliberately before lifting back to your face, his lip twitching. 

“what the fuck are you wearing?” 

you scoffed, “i know you’re not asking me that.” 

sukuna’s smirk instantly fell, as if you reminded him just how ridiculous he looked, “shut up.” 

you grinned falsely as sukuna rolled his eyes once, looking mildly annoyed which probably meant he wasn’t actually annoyed. 

“name.” he stated flatly, eyes tinged with a touch of amusement. 

your eyes narrowed, “you know my name-”

“name.” 

he raised a brow as you stared back, eyes narrowed and arms crossed. 

luna was practically trembling beside you, hand reaching out to hold your arm, as if in warning. 

“um, she’s not even in line!” a freshman girl whined from the front of the line, pouting up at the salmon haired man. 

he offered her a sharp side eye that not only made her shrink back but her and her friend both scurried away. 

you’d barely paid attention to him at that point because you saw a glimpse of white hair inside the house and your heart flipped once. 

“not on here.” sukuna announced after glancing at his phone, a smirk tilting his mouth up as you glared at him. 

“well, check again.” you demanded, arms crossing once more, eyes frantic as they tried to follow the moving head of white. you knew damn well your name wasn’t on that list on his stupid phone. 

sukuna raised a brow once more, “i’d be nicer to me, sweetheart. m’the one that can magically make you appear on this list.” 

your jaw clenched once as his smirk remained painted on his ruggedly handsome face. 

this asshole. 

“um, maybe we should just go-” 

“let me in, asshole.” 

the words left you before you could stop them, tumbling from the tip of your tongue, absolutely riddled with your desperation to get inside. 

luna practically squeaked as her wide eyes looked between you and sukuna. 

the front of the line had gone quiet as well, awaiting the wrath of the vice president. 

meanwhile, sukuna’s face didn’t change and if anything, his smirk widened. 

“that your version of nice?” 

he almost sounded amused but you were anything but, huffing gently as your features melted into a scowl, “what do you want?” 

sukuna huffed out a laugh, “how bout we say you owe me one.” 

now, you didn’t know sukuna all that well but you knew enough to know that owing ryomen sukuna could not be a good thing. 

you, in your right state of mind, would have simply walked away, but you weren’t in the right state of mind. you were under some sort of curse caused by the frat president and you would do anything to stop feeling this way.

you’d been feeling weird the past few days and desperation to see satoru clung to your bones. you were probably just sexualy frustrated, that was all. 

“fine.” 

sukuna’s smirk widened, stepping away from the door, “have fun, sweetheart.” 

you merely shot him a glare as luna clung to your arm as you both walked into the chaos of the party that looked somehow worse from the inside. 

music rattled your ribcage, people dancing on tables and a girl had fully had two solo cups on each breast and around eight covering her lower half. 

“this is insane!” luna practically squealed, the words of fear she wanted to utter about sukuna dying in her throat, “look, it’s cole! i’m gonna go before ava gets to him!” 

she didn’t give you the chance to respond before she was zooming past you towards the blonde who you assumed to be cole. 

you shook your head softly, eyes lifting as you moved towards the kitchen to grab a drink. 

you willed your eyes to keep forward and not to scan the entire room like you desperately wanted to. 

with a small sigh, you grabbed a drink and leaned back on the counter, eyes drifting across the sea of people.  

you were not looking for satoru. you simply wanted to walk around, so you did. 

your feet carried you to each corner of the room, eyes scanning and checking before you made it to the little side room that was usually open. 

and after ten minutes of absolutely not looking for satoru gojo, you’d found him. 

or rather, you’d heard him. 

“YOU HAVE TO MAKE OUT!” 

your brows furrowed as you moved towards the open door and lo and behold, there he was. 

satoru was sprawled across the floor amongst a circle of people, white hair messy and eyes almost bloodshot. 

and he was practically naked. oh god. 

you looked at his version of anything but clothes and you wondered if he missed that the point is that you have to make clothes out of the item. meaning he should not be naked. 

satoru had a three giant ruby christmas bows around his crotch and ass. 

and despite the ridiculousness of it all, he looked damn good. 

his lean figure was leaning back on his hands, muscles bulging and chest glistening with a thin layer of sweat from, no doubt, his partying. 

there were a group of people, around seven, seated on the floor with an empty beer bottle in the middle. 

besides satoru, you’d only recognized nanami and that alone surprised you. 

whatever they were playing, you didn't think nanami would be taking part. 

you weren’t sure how long you’d been standing there but it must’ve been long because when you looked back at satoru, he was already looking at you. 

something flashed across his face as your eyes met his, something akin to relief. 

but you were more focused on the bloodshot nature of his eyes, you had no doubt he was both high and drunk. 

you hated it. 

his gaze softened on you before the softness disappeared just as quickly. 

“hi.” you stated simply as satoru’s jaw clenched at the mere sound of your voice. 

“hey.” the word left him flat, almost cold.

it sounded all wrong, causing your jaw to clench gently. 

what the fuck was his issue?

“we’re playing seven minutes in heaven!” a girl announced, slurring her words as your eyes flatly met hers, “come play so we’re equal!”

your mouth opened to protest-

“she doesn’t wanna play.” satoru stated lowly, bringing his beer to his lips as his gaze avoided yours and your fists clenched. 

fuck him!

without a word, you moved towards the circle, taking a seat directly beside satoru. 

his eyes followed you, almost surprised before his eyes flared in irritation. 

“you look like a mess.” you stated lowly, referring to the distant bloodshot look in his eyes. 

“you look like a construction site.” 

a few people within the circle barked out a laugh as your jaw clenched, satoru’s lips twitching. 

“okay, let’s play.” the girl announced as you looked forward, meeting nanami’s eyes as he shot you a gentle smile that you returned lowly. 

“why are you here?” satoru whispered beside you as you turned to shoot him a glare, irritation bubbling beneath your ribs at his indifference.

two people drunkenly stumbled into the closet in the room, already pawing at each other’s clothes as the girl started the timer. seven minutes. 

“what kind of question is that?” you scoffed, face devoid of emotion as you faced forward once more, ignoring satoru’s gaze on the side of your face. 

“pretty simple one.” 

“it’s a party. people come to parties, y’know.” 

satoru chuckled but it lacked any real humor, “not you. trust me, i’d know that.” 

your eyes flickered over to him then, noting the bitterness lacing his words. 

“what is your problem?” 

finally, his gaze slid towards yours, blue eyes bloodshot and unfairly pretty. 

“don’t got one.” 

you scoffed once more, “yeah, clearly.” 

“careful, sweetheart, you almost sound like you care.” satoru smirked menacingly, voice dipped in bite you weren’t used to from satoru. 

your stomach twisted as realization overcame you, memories of leaving behind a half-asleep satoru plaguing your mind. 

around you, everyone was gossiping, predicting what the two were doing in the closet, unaware of the tension between you both. 

“you’re seriously upset about that?” your voice was back to being monotonous, guard high and eyes blank. satoru felt his stomach twist but his expression didn’t change. 

“upset?” 

“yes.” 

“didn’t know i was upset.” his tone matched yours and you had to fight to remain emotionless because god, you wanted to ring his neck. 

your jaw clenched, “you’re acting pretty upset.”

“and you’re acting like sleeping in my bed was a federal crime.” 

your eyes widened just a bit, “keep your voice down!” 

“why?”

“because!” 

satoru leaned closer, breath fanning over your cheek, “because what?” 

you hated him. you absolutely despised him. 

he always fucking did this, he poked and poked and poked until he found the one thing you didn’t want to talk about. 

your jaw clenched as the two began stumbling out of the closet, hair a mess and clothes askew. 

you looked forward, ignoring the man beside you and you could feel his gaze on the side of your face. 

“you left.” his voice left him quieter now, not as angry and somehow, that felt worse. 

you glanced at him, watching his jaw clench and nostrils flare as he met your gaze, “you always leave, that’s what you do.” 

you looked away again and immediately regretted it as a soft laugh left him, bitter and real. 

“right…” 

your hands turned to fists by your sides, hating that he basically made you prove his point. 

damn him. your stomach clenched because you hadn’t expected his words. 

for a second, he looked tired and something beneath your ribs twisted. 

you really shouldn’t have come, this was just making everything inside you, whatever this sickness was, feel even worse. 

“alright!” the girl running the game clapped loudly, saving you from whatever this conversation would’ve become, “next spin!” 

the bottle spun and everyone starting making suspenseful ooohs and ahhhs. 

you watched it lazily, mind far away as your mind remained occupied on satoru's words.

the bottle spun slower and slower until it stopped, pointing directly at the man beside you. 

the room erupted instantly. 

“GOJO! LET’S GOOO!”

satoru rolled his eyes, smirking lowly as if feeding his fans and you could see the fakeness from where you were. it was pathetic. 

“spin again!” the girl grinned, sitting up wider and you could practically see her entire soul wishing the bottle would stop on her and frankly, you hoped it did. 

so you could fucking leave while he was in the damn closet and forget you’d ever even came. 

satoru’s hand wrapped around the bottle, giving it a hard spin and you watched it rotate. 

once, twice, three times before it gradually slowed…

and your stomach dropped. because the bottle wasn’t stopping, it was landing directly on you. 

everyone cheered, the girls evidently disappointed as you stared at the bottle, then at satoru. 

satoru was already looking at you and for the first time that night, he smiled. a real, him smile. 

slow, dangerous and boyish.

“would ya look at that…” his eyes locked onto yours, “almost like fate, don’t ya think?” 

yes, you really could ring his neck.

☀︎

the second the door shut behind you, the cheering outside became muffled. 

like the rest of the party had been shoved underwater as you entered the dark and cramped closet. the place was small, way too fucking small to fit two people, let alone satoru’s 6’5 ass. 

satoru had been in this very closet a hundred times before with a hundred different girls, different intentions, different conversations or lack-thereof. 

he’d never once felt nervous. yet somehow, standing two feet away from you had his heart betray his decision to distance himself.

“ugh, i can barely breathe…” you complained, crossing your arms as the little light allowed him to only imagine the look of annoyance on your achingly pretty face. 

fuck, when he saw you in that stupid caution tape sorry excuse of a dress, he regretted his decision to go with christmas bows on his cock. 

he was achingly hard for you, not even just physically but mentally. 

he had a heart boner for you too, he concluded. because the mere sight of you made a sense of relief so deeprooted fill him in an instant. 

satoru rolled his eyes at your words, despite the beating of his heart hammering against his chest, “the lack of space is supposed to serve a purpose, sweetheart-”

“stop calling me that!” you huffed out, squirming against him as satoru scoffed. 

“sweetheart?”

“yes! it’s cheesy and stupid and you never call me that, so quit it.” the words left you dripping in annoyance and he relished in pulling that reaction from you. 

any reaction from you was better than your indifference, even if it was severe irritation. 

“you call me gojo and i don’t like it-”

“that’s your name!”

“not to you,” satoru breathed out before realizing how his words sound, “i mean, people i don’t like call me gojo, ones i’m not close to…so, you shouldn’t call me that…”

he was met with silence and he sighed, able to picture you as you practically crawled back into your shell. 

he shook his head as his knees cramped, “fuck, can you just-”

before you knew it, satoru was sinking to the ground with you in his grip, pulling you to sit on his lip, straddling him and though you were caught by surprise, relief filled you instantly at the comfortable position. 

satoru let out a sigh of exasperation as his legs stretched out a bit, head tilting back against the wall. 

you relaxed in his hold, “don’t be so thrilled.” 

satoru barked out a laugh, “rich coming from you.”

your eyes narrowed, “meaning?” 

“meaning you look like somebody’s holding you hostage.”

“you can’t even see me!”

“i can feel it!” 

“well, sorry i didn’t even wanna play.” 

satoru tilted his head as his chest clenched in anticipation, “then why did you?”

your jaw clenched and he could feel you stiffen up in his lap, "because they asked.” 

satoru scoffed once as you squirmed against him, “bullshit.” 

“excuse me?” you shifted again and his jaw clenched, big hands spanning your hips before pulling you down, keeping you there. and you understood his issue, conceding. 

the lack of clothes made it hard to miss. 

“i said bullshit.” satoru repeated, his grip tightening as he shook his head, “you hate people.”

you scoffed gently, “i do not hate people.”

“you hate most people.” 

you rolled your eyes once, “what’s your point?” 

sartoru’s jaw clenched as he debated getting into this. there was a chance, a huge one, that this would just make you want to run even more. 

he may never see you again after today but he would risk it even if the thought made him want to vomit because frankly, he couldn’t take the heartache anymore. 

“why’d you come?” satoru demanded more than asked as your expression flattened, he could fucking feel it. there it was, that goddamn wall that he despised more than anything. 

“i already told you.” you replied as he shook his head. 

“i wanna hear it.” 

“it’s a party. people come to parties.”

“and i already told you, you don’t. name fucking three parties you’ve attended voluntarily.” 

the light from the little sliver of space offered him a look at your irritated expression, you looked annoyed enough to bite him and satoru found himself smiling in victory. 

“you’re insufferable.” you whispered as he grinned. 

“you came anyway.” 

there was this silent understanding, a low hum of truth that filtered between you both, something you’d usually never allow to linger. 

you came for him. and he knew that. and you allowed him to know that. 

that was more than you’ve ever given him before and for now, it was enough. 

silence filled the space momentarily before your voice penetrated it, uncharacteristically soft and low, “you’ve stopped talking to me.” 

the words left you so quietly, he almost missed them but his entire being was so attuned to you that he simply couldn’t miss anything when it came to you.

he blinked once, twice and watched as your face twisted in subtle embarrassment, regret filling you at the vulnerability he could see. as if it escaped you accidentally. 

and his heart nearly punched through his ribs because holy shit, you noticed. not only that, but you cared.

satoru laughed, actually laughed and you felt your face twist in irritation, “what is so funny, asshole?”

satoru’s hand moved to splay across your lower back, pulling you just a bit closer, “you leave every single time we hang out-”

“we don’t hang out, satoru, we have sex!” 

satoru. satoru. satoru. 

you called him satoru and not fucking gojo. 

his chest twisted as if your hand reached through his sternum and petted at his heart that was so entirely gone for you, he was sick. 

“you know what’s crazy?” 

you rolled your eyes, “here we go.” 

“you slept on me!” satoru stated lowly, “you slept on me.”

“don’t remind me.” your arms crossed once more, jaw clenching as satoru scoffed as if he wasn’t even hearing you. 

“you fully drooled on me…”

your face warmed, eyes widening, “i did not!”  

“you literally did!” satoru exclaimed with bright eyes, the anger diminishing just enough for you to recognize him once more. 

you looked genuinely horrified and satoru laughed so hard, he nearly doubled over. 

god, he missed you, he missed this which was honestly pathetic. 

“you’re such an asshole.”

“and you’re a runner.” satoru claimed with a shake of his head, the words slipping out before he could think about them.

your expression changed then, the space between you growing tense once again. 

fuck, he shouldn’t have said that. 

you felt raw, as if someone had stripped you naked, looked for your oldest scar and carved into it again. 

he could tell you were hurt and he was drunk and hurt. and you were right there, close enough to touch, to kiss, to want. 

“i didn’t mean-” 

“it’s fine.” the words left you sharp and it cut through the air as he sighed, hands moving from your hips to his face, digging into it with a shake of his head. 

“no, no it’s not,” he looked at you then, “i’m just drunk and high and stupid…”

you remained quiet, fingers fiddling with the caution tape fraying by your side, jaw clenched and walls up so high, he could barely tell what you were thinking but god, could he feel it. 

then satoru panicked. 

“you give me boners!”

your eyes widened just a bit, startled as you looked up at him, ever the most straightforward man of all time, apparently.

“excuse me?” you breathed out as satoru groaned, mind too jumbled to think properly and honestly, he preferred it this way. 

“you…you give me boners.” satoru stated lowly, slurring just the slightest bit as the last three shots he took back to back twenty minutes ago hit him all at once. 

you sighed gently, “isn’t that the point of our dynamic, satoru?”

satoru groaned as he realized his words didn’t quite mean what he intended for them to mean. 

“no, i mean…” he breathed out slowly, “you give me all kinds of boners like…like in my heart and stuff.”

your brows furrowed in confusion, “i give you…heart boners?”

satoru nodded frantically, hands gripping your hips again, pulling you even closer till you were flush against him, caution tape against his muscled front, “yes! yeah, you…you give me heart boners all the time, even when you're not even there.” 

you were too focused on his body against yours, more specifically, the christmas bow snug against your panties, “you sure, satoru? cuz i can only feel one type of boner right now.”

satoru huffed in irritation as his confession flew right over your head. 

seven minutes suddenly felt way too short and way too long. 

just as his mouth opened to speak, light spilled into the closet and both your eyes squinted up at nanami who stood before you, face all too unimpressed at your compromising position. 

“its been longer than seven minutes. we’ve been calling out for you for a while.” nanami stated lowly before turning to walk away and you were quick to jump up from satoru’s lap, stumbling out of the closet as you looked at satoru in what had to be the most uncomfortable position on the ground. 

satoru groaned lowly before stumbling into a standing position, hand cupping the christmas bow at the front, “think game’s over for me.”

you gulped lowly, ignoring everyone’s cheers before stepping back, “yeah, me too.” 

you offered satoru one last look before walking past the circle and out of the room, towards the drinks. fuck, you really needed a drink. 

☀︎

the party had somehow gotten louder or maybe you were simply reaching your limit. 

either way, the music felt harsher now, the room hotter, bodies moving together in a blur of alcohol and flashing lights. 

you had been trying to find luna while simultaneously avoiding satoru for the past hour. 

fuck, you just wanted to go home but you couldn’t leave luna and she wasn’t answering her damn phone.

the closet had done absolutely nothing to improve your mood, instead, it made your regrets about coming to this stupid party even worse. 

satoru’s words followed you through every room you entered as you tried to locate your purple haired friend. 

you’re a runner. 

the worst part about it all is that everything he had said was right. and you fucking hated that he even noticed, that he cared enough to notice in the first place. 

a frustrated sigh left you as you looked down at your dying phone, luna’s contact staring back at you, all your calls and texts left unanswered.

the house seemed less crowded now, people dispersing into bedrooms, hallways and the pool as the night stretched later and you had to dodge every guy that came to hit on you. yuck. 

you barely registered the conversations happening around you until a familiar voice cut through the noise.

“he’s a fuckin’ mess.” 

your head turned automatically, suguru standing near the staircase, rubbing the back of his neck while nanami looked vaguely exhausted beside him. 

“where is he?” nanami questioned, bringing his cup up to his lips to take a sip. 

suguru pointed toward the living room, “he decided he could outdrink sukuna.” 

nanami immediately looked disappointed, “oof. stupid.” 

despite yourself, your eyes drifted towards the living room and they instantly found him. of course they did. 

satoru was slumped sideways across the couch, one arm hanging off the edge, snowy hair a complete mess. 

he looked absolutely gone. 

your stomach tightened as you glanced between him and luna’s contact. 

“he’s fine…” you muttered to yourself as you shook your head. 

“he’s absolutely not fine.” suguru stated from beside you as you turned to look at him, the slightest bit startled as you didn't realize how close they were before you noticed the knowing look on his face, instantly irritating you. 

“he drinks all the time.” you retorted lowly, eyes giving nothing away as suguru scoffed out a chuckle. 

“not like this, he only does this shit when he’s upset.”

something in suguru’s voice made your attention sharpen as you stiffened, “why would he be upset?” 

suguru merely stared as nanami cleared his throat from beside him, “probably something to do with those seven minutes.” 

your jaw clenched before letting out a breath, “right.”

before you knew it, choso had called out for the two men beside you, something about a sophomore puking in the pool.  

you hated how you felt half responsible for satoru’s current state. 

a low sigh left you as you glanced at the living room once more, however this time, a girl was leaning over him. 

your brows furrowed, moving closer to see the girl with inky hair in a bob clad in a tiny skirt far too close to him, one hand resting against his chest. 

she was talking into his ear while he sat there, looking dazed and half-asleep. 

your gut churned once more. god, you were really getting sick of that feeling. 

the girl laughed at something satoru mumbled, her hand moving into his hair and something ugly flared beneath your ribs. 

you hated how much the sight was making you sick, how vulnerable satoru looked and you hated that your feet were already moving before your brain could catch up. 

the walk across the room felt entirely too long and every step gave you another opportunity to turn around. you didn’t. 

by the time you reached the couch, the girl was in his lap, kissing down his damp neck. 

your jaw clenched, “hey.” 

the word left you sharp, cutting through whatever intimacy she was imagining was occurring between them. 

the girl turned and you recognized her as a girl in luna’s class, the girl your friend absolutely despised, which in turn made you despise her. emi. 

you could see satoru’s eyes blink open just the slightest bit, your voice like a siren bringing him to life. fuck, he craved to hear you, to feel you always. 

his entire face softened, a lopsided smile painting his face like sunlight breaking through clouds. 

“hey, trouble..” 

the word sleft him slurred and your heart betrayed you instantly. 

emi, however, looked significantly less pleased, her long nails tracing over satoru’s jaw as he flinched lowly. 

“can i help you?” 

you barely spared her a glance, taking one more step closer, “satoru?” 

his eyes remained fixed on you, completely and entirely like everyone else had ceased to exist. 

“yeah, baby?” 

you allowed the nickname to slide off your back, knowing he was too out of it to be aware of his actions or words. clearly. 

“c’mon, let’s go.” 

emi instantly frowned, turning to look at satoru who looked up at you as if you promised him the moon, stars and everything in between. 

“go where?” 

“upstairs.”

a slow grin stretched across his face, the absolute stupidest but prettiest grin you’d ever seen, “okay.” 

he stood immediately, stumbling just the slightest bit as emi yelped, tumbling off his lap to the ground. 

you caught his arm before he could faceplant into the coffee table, “for fuck’s sake.”

satoru was now pressed aginst you, clammy hands cupping your cheeks to force you to look up at him, “hi...”

your eyes narrowed at his wide and hazy grin, “you already said hi.”

satoru merely grinned, leaning down so his nose brushed against yours, once, twice before you sighed and pushed him just a bit back. 

“let’s go, satoru…” you held his hand, turning to pull him away before you felt a tug on your other arm causing you to turn around. 

emi stood before you, visibly fuming as she glared at you, “what the fuck are you doing?! we were in the middle of something!” 

you glanced down at where she’s touched you with a look of pure disgust before looking back up at her, “that’s not how it looked to me.” 

emi’s fists clenched, “you don’t own him, you bitch!” 

your tongue pressed against your cheek before smirking at her, leaning back to look up at satoru who was already gazing down at you with a lopsided smile, “who owns you, satoru?” 

“you do, trouble.” his response was immediate, instantaneous and you had to ignore the rush going through you to shoot her a glare. 

emi faltered, tears filling her eyes as she glared at you both. 

you tugged at satoru’s hand, making a move towards the staircase before turning to her once more, “and don’t put your hands on people who can barely stand, you sick freak.” 

you shot her one more glare before guiding satoru away, helping him towards his room as he followed with no argument, his hand somehow finding the back of your ‘dress’ and remained there as you climbed up the stairs. 

as if he was afraid you’d disappear. 

the walk to his room took forever, mostly because satoru kept getting distracted by paintings, doors, absolutely nothing. 

at one point, he stopped in the hallway entirely as you sighed, turning to look up at him, “what is it now, satoru?” 

his blue eyes blinked down at you, “you’re so pretty, it makes me nauseous sometimes.” 

a sigh left your plush lips as you tugged at his hand once more, “mhmm.” 

you forced his steps, one after the other before you made it to his room, guuiding him inside. 

you expected him to collapse instantly, however, he sat on the edge of the bed and simply looked at you, eyes all droopy and bloodshot. 

the room felt strangely quiet compared to the chaos downstairs, the silence stretched and his gaze never moved away from you. 

it made something uncomfortable settle beneath your ribs as you shifted, “what?” 

satoru smiled, small and sleepy and dangerously genuine, “i like that you showed up.” 

your breath caught and his eyes were already drifting shut, half-asleep and entirely unaware of what he was saying, “i always know when you’re about to leave.” 

the confession landed softly, somewhere right in your chest. 

“you do this thing,” his hand moved vaguely, “with your phone…”

you froze because you did, absolutely. you always checked the time before getting up from his bed. every single time. 

“i know when you’re annoyed too…” his voice was quieter now, the fight gone as well as the frustration until only honesty remained, “you scrunch your nose all cute like…” 

you hated that you knew exactly what he meant, your hands clenching beside you.

“and you pretend you don’t care about stuff…people…but you do.” 

the room suddenly felt too small, too warm and too fucking claustrophobic. 

you let out a short breath, “okay, time to go to bed, satoru.”

you moved forward, helping take off his shoes before ushering him forward till he was beneath his blankets, head heavy against the pillow. 

you couldn’t help but move your fingers into his white locks, brushing it away from his sweaty face before sighing gently and moving back. 

“stay.” 

the word left him soft and simple, nothing dramatic or grand about it. 

it was simply one exhausted request. 

and it caused every instinct you’ve ever had to scream at you to run. 

you’re a runner. 

your eyes drifted toward the boy, hair messy and eyes heavy, heart somehow worn openly across his sleeve in a way that was braver than you ever could be. 

and for the first time since you met satoru gojo, you stayed.

☀︎

an | this is deffo my fav chapter so far i love them so bad AHHHHHH