So, a thought I’ve had: how many people do you think have died trying to have sex with their guild leaders?
Before any guild members say the actual numbers, I wanna guess.
Azorius: definitely not 0. The sphinx would kill you for suggesting it, but it’s probably safer with Lavina now. She’d just punch you.
Boros: Aurelia would probably kill you for suggesting it, but if she suggested it, then I think it would be intense. Hot, even.
Dimir: …. To be honest, I don’t know who their guild leader is and I’m assuming that’s the way they like it.
Golgari: I don’t see anyone trying to have sex with the liches, that being said, how many people do you think approached Vraska?
Gruul: honestly, all of their guild leaders have seemed like they would. It may kill you, but they wouldn’t kill you for suggesting it.
Izzet: Niv-Mizzet, probably an uncountable number of charred researchers who never even got close. Ral zerrek; I don’t think he would kill you, his husband, however would kill you and make you work off the debt you incurred as a ghost.
Orhzov: I don’t think anyone wants to fuck the council of ghost capitalists. And I mean, aren’t a big polycule? Only reason I could see for the council to hang out eternally.
Rakdos: uncountable number of charred people who did get it.
Simic: I mean. I don’t know a ton about the Simic guild leaders. But if you’re into changing your genes, I imagine you’re into both the magic and the mundane ways of doing it.
Selesnya: I… I can’t imagine trying to have sex with Trostani. They’re a tree. What are you gonna do? Pollinate them?