#aythea

I understand

Even when I don't want to

Spilled milk, spoiled child

"Clean it up, or you're a brat"

I see faces

And grasp the mood

I hear steps

And guess the person on foot

You gave me everything

But a quiet home

Something I can stay in

But never truly feel home

Yes you did everything for me

But never what I asked

I grew up too fast

And you were pleased

I was an "easy child"

But I wish you put some effort

I know there were far more issues

I understand, I really do

But, why do I have to understand every time

Why can't you understand for once

Why your easy child

Turned difficult

My expectations tower too high,

patience scrapes the ground.

I carry every feeling inside

but silence keeps me bound.

Always longing for someone to come

When they do I count when they'll go

To say I am afraid would be an understatement

But when I love there is nothing else left to sow

Yes call me problematic

But all I want from love is

When I ask someone if I should change for them

They say no

What a privilege

To like the rain

To like the storm

To like lightning

I see beauty

While others

Fear for their lives

Such a privilege

To see the rain

And not think of demise

~aythea solen

I always wanted wings

Not to outfly the sun

Just to prove

The ground wasn't enough

They were heavy

But they were mine

And that was enough

To make them light

We're told

Soaring high kills

No one mentions

How staying low

Teaches you to comply

I thought of building them

Bone, wire and my enemy's skin

But I was human

And I knew the cost

Still

The mind reaches

Again and again

Towards that lonely star

Inches away

Yet too far

Close enough to want

Never enough to have

Did Icarus think this much

Or just those who never tried?

~aythea solen

We all were told Icarus died because he flew too high, carefully omitting that he couldn't survive if he flew to close to the sea, in this world he chose flying high instead of leaning too low so people are scared of risks, maybe in another world people would be scared of not taking them.

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

Swirling around as I try to dissolve it

How can I serve it to someone

Even if there is less than a teaspoon undissolved

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

Trying not to disappear

Stirring till my wrist aches

Just to see it again

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

I'm supposed to show this to everyone

How can I hand it over

When the glass tells on me

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

As if trying to mock me

Telling me no amount of work

Can dissolve it past saturation

I can still see sugar at the bottom of my lemonade

Did I add too much sugar?

Or a little less water?

Doesn't matter because I'll always think

I didn't stir it till my hands shatter

~aythea solen

Always the photographer

Never in the picture

I was there

Just not in it

Someone will remember that day

Not who kept it still

I kept every moment alive

No one kept me

~aythea solen