#avrok

Keviiyr nodded to him and looked down at the annoyed Kivik, the lieutenant already doing the mental calculations of their possible change in departure time, all depending on what this random Vandal wanted to talk about with his captain.

“I will… Reconnoiter elsewhere.” He grumbled to Keviiyr and shuffled away to the ship.

Keviiyr motioned for Avrok to come closer and crossed his arms over his chest. “What is on your mind, my friend.”

Avrok tried not to bristle at the words. There was no reason to be upset at them, they were, in fact, fairly good friends, the best that he’d really ever had, if he’d actually thought about it. Although, the strength of their friendship was solely due to Keviiyr’s patience, and not really anything that Avrok had done.

“I am seeking-” He paused trying to gather his thoughts. Even coming up to Keviiyr had been a battle. The older Eliksni always was glad to give his support and share his wisdom, which only made the smaller Eliksni’s shell crawl. Asking for help being almost as distasteful as accepting it. “Advice.” He finished a little lamely.

Keviiyr nodded, and wordlessly motioned to a crate near by them and sat upon it, then looked expectantly over at Avrok, who internally writhed at the idea of once more sitting beside the older male.

This was always how it went. Keviiyr would want to impart some wisdom to him, generally about his love life, or Avrok would seek out the captain’s advice. Then they would sit, and invariably deep secrets would be shared, emotions would be exposed, and truths would be made clear.

It was horrible and only something Avrok did as a last resort, when he absolutely no longer knew what to do with his infuriating human mate, or social situation within his new house.

Avrok stumped over to the crate and sat heavily with a plop on it in dejected finality.

Keviiyr suppressed the chuckle that threatened to chitter out of him at his younger’s friend’s theatrics. As if chatting about life was the worst torture imaginable.

After several moments of Avrok twisting under his own embarrassment, Keviiyr broke the silence.

“You remarked once," He started lightly, smoothing his bannercloth, "that agony was like a sibling to the eliknsi. That pain and suffering is what we all know best, and ‘gifting’ that hurt on to others.” Keviiyr said, looking up at the rafters of the small hanger bay within the tower. “I think this is a lie you tell yourself when you feel cornered by your own fears. Although this is how you may feel, this is not everyone’s perspective. It is, I believe, the greatest lesson that you personally will have to face, over and over again, until you get it right.”

He let the words linger in the air between them.

Avrok felt the tension in his jaw and tried to unclench it, also trying to make his hands not fists anymore.

“Would you like to know my greatest lesson? The one that I will need to keep relearning again and again?” Keviiyr asked gently, now looking over to the ball of anxious, bristling emotion that was his friend.

“Yes.” Avrok said finally after some frustrated growling.

“I fear being powerless, of being ether starved and helpless.” He held up a lower hand at the surprised chirp that Avrok gave him, the smaller eliksni relaxing some at the ridiculous statement.

Keviiyr was known for his altruism, his willingness to give up every last drop of ether for another if it meant less suffering. He was known to be brave, and utterly fearless. To have laughed in the face of Kells and Archons, throwing their sweet words and silky promises away for his own staunch beliefs on how things ought to be run.

“It is true.” Keviiyr said gently. “I sat for a long time after Cassidy almost killed me, while I was healing. I sat and thought about all the choices I’d made up to that moment. And all the reasons I’d made them. And I realized one truth. Fear, Avrok. Fear was behind every one of them. Even now it prickles at the back of my mind.” He sighed and looked up, pointing to the ceiling. “You know, I was in exile on the moon. Lots of time to mull over one's life choices up there. I had a lot of time to sit with that fear. Get to know it, like an old friend. The only thing I really learned was that I’ll never be rid of it. And that I’ll be spending the rest of my life making up for all the things I destroyed while in the grip of it.” He looked back to Avrok and folded all four hands over his lap. “Avrok, you must not think of Peixe as an extension of yourself. She is not. Nor will she ever be so, no matter how much love and tenderness you give her. She will always be herself, flaws, strengths and all. Stop treating her as if she believes the same fallacies that you do.”

Avrok growled. Keviiyr had guessed correctly that he was there because of something that had happened with his guardian-bond-mate. And even more frustratingly had known it was his fault. “How?” Was all he managed to say around his gritted teeth.

“I have been blessed with the greatest gift that can be given to a person. A second chance. It was given to me as all the best gifts are, with no warning, and without expectation. And so, when I am gripped by my fear, I go to my gift, and listen to her wisdom. No matter how counter-intuitive it may seem. I will abide by it.”

“Even if you know it’s wrong?” Avrok asked desperately, already knowing the answer and hating it even more because of that.

“Especially if I think I know it’s wrong. Avrok, this is the only way to truly love another, to truly share your life with them. You must let go, and allow them to catch you. To trust that they will.” Keviiyr stood then, and Avrok jumped to his feet, the sudden moment alarming him in his heightened state of emotional distress.

“Peixe is at our apartment. You should go to her. Me and Cassidy are going now, and will be gone for about four days. You have until then to fix this between you two.” The larger eliknsi said, before walking from the now sputtering Avrok.

Keviiyr paused and turned, his eyes gentle, “Good luck, my friend. I hope you find the courage to face that which you fear most.”