#avoiding you

You were never supposed to be on Project Hail Mary, it was an extremely last minute decision on Stratt’s end. You met her maybe… three days before you were induced Though, she made you feel as if you didn’t have a choice but to be in this project.

You were the only nurse at Grover Cleveland, well over-qualified for your position. With a Master’s Degree in Biology, completing and passing the MCAT—essentially you’d completed every step to become a proper doctor at the hospital near your house.

And you hated it. God you hated every part of it, all the responsibility, disrespectful patients, nurses, staff, just generally a displeasing job for you. You’re sure that other doctors loved their job, but you loved this area much more. You weren’t willing to move in order to find a better job at a hospital, it wouldn’t be home.

So, you compromised. You believed it was better to be happy and poor than miserable and rich. Your family believed otherwise, as hard as you worked for your degree, but you really didn’t care.

You get paid extra just for being a technical Doctor, though some staff who don’t really know you still refer to you as a Nurse. It doesn’t bother you with staff, no, you care more about the children.

All the kids in school call you Doctor, so any staff member that’s going out of their way to push down your hard work is simply just trying to be disrespectful. It’s best to ignore.

You didn’t speak much to Dr. Grace, but he respected your title highly, you think it’s because people don’t respect his. You’d often hear him talking to students;

“That’s Dr. Grace to you, Kevin!”

Sometimes, when kids would ask to go to the nurse, you could hear him reply that this school didn’t have a nurse, only a Doctor.

You found it amusing, especially considering you two didn’t talk much. His classroom was on the other side of school compared to your office, he only came into your office once to ask for bandaids.

You remember the faint knock on your door. “Come in!” You’d reply, working on your computer and still using your ‘student voice.’ When Dr. Grace walked in, you continued typing a report from a kid that scraped his knee pretty badly.

“Just one second hun’.”

“Take all the seconds you want, I get paid by the hour.” Dr. Grace replied, closing the door behind him. He had never been in your office, so he really took in the comforting atmosphere of it. 

Your head jolted up at the blatant voice of a grown man, seeing Dr. Grace smirking at you. You couldn’t help but laugh at the misunderstanding.

“Oh, sorry Dr. Grace, thought you were a student.”

“I didn’t think I was that short. Shot my ego straight down, Doctor.”

You giggled, pushing your rolling chair aside, away from the computer to better talk to him. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Do I?”

You crossed your arms. “What do you need?”

He walked over to the counter of your desk, crossing his own arms on them and leaning over to peek at what you may have on your desk.

“Bandaids. Like a pack, my kids are pretty violent so we ran out.”

You’d nod your head, standing up to walk to the corner of your office, and opening a drawer. “I can give you a map to the nearest Walmart.” You replied, searching for some band-aids. Preferably ones with cute designs on them, biology themed?

“Hardy har har.” 

You tossed him the pack, he caught it. “Will that do?”

They were bandaids with planets on them, he rubbed them with his thumb, looking at them pretty intently. “Yeah. That’ll be fine.” He put them in the pocket of his suit, and you couldn’t help but think about how different your work attire was. Yours was much more calm, much more casual.

“Alright, tell your kids to stop falling or cutting themselves on paper, Band-Aids are expensive.”

“I think if I told them that they’d just wanna do it more. They’re menaces.”

“Right, bye Dr. Grace.” You sat back down in your rolling chair, typing on the computer.

He gave you a slight wave as he walked out.

Most interactions with people coming into your office were… boring. Everyone was scraping their knees, or needed packages of bandaids. Again, overqualified.

After school had ended, you were finishing up some paper-work, well, procrastinating on it. When someone knocked on your door, you assumed it was George Rams’ mom, he had a fight today and you were the one who got stuck with fixing him up. You were sure she had some concerns, most parents aren’t used to actual doctors working in schools, you’ve had parents complain a lot about a ‘nurse’ handling something that a proper doctor should handle.

“Ma’am, I am a doctor.” You’d say. It was often just met with an ‘Oh, thank you for your time.’

The woman who came in was cold and had a stoic expression, she had the vibe like she commanded a room. You were surprised that such an authoritarian figure would have a child getting into fights, but it’s also expected for children to have a rebellious phase in Middle School, better than High School at the very least.

“Hi Mrs. Rams, is this about your son?” You sat up, giving her your attention.

“I have no son. My name is Eva Stratt, I am working with the United Nations to solve the growing Patrova Line problem with Astrophage.”

You stare at her, not saying much. Because what did this have to do with you? Did she confuse your office with the front office? Was this a mental health issue?

You open your mouth to reply before she states your full government name, which makes you pause your words in slight surprise.

“You are a Doctor right, overqualified for the position as a Middle School Nurse?”

“Maybe.” 

“It seems to be a theme with this school to hire those overqualified to work here. Please stand, Doctor.”

You do, you don’t know this woman, but you stand.

“I hereby grant you clearance to know all information about Project Hail Mary.”

She places her hands on your shoulders, her words imply that she knows someone else overqualified to work here. Dr. Grace, right? That’s the only option, he’d be gone for quite some time, with constant substitutes. Normally a teacher would get in trouble for that but the principal seemed pretty lenient, almost scared to say anything about it.

“Come with me.”

She begins walking out, but you don’t follow.

“Uhm, Ms. Stratt thank you for this… whatever this offer is but-“

“It is not an offer. You will come with me either by willingness or force. I would suggest following me.”

She stares at you for a moment, until your feet automatically move. You follow Stratt, you leave your computer open with George Rams’ medical information on it. You don’t know why—well, yes you do. It’s fear, you’re scared of what Stratt is gonna do to you if you don’t follow her. 

Over the next three days, you don’t ever see Dr. Grace. 

Stratt tells you the purpose of Project Hail Mary, that this is a suicide mission. 

She tells you that you’re not her top candidate, and that you’d only be sent if Dr. Grace is sent.

“He’ll only be sent if something happens to our two scientists, but we know he will not want to be there at all. We aren’t sure if he will cooperate, or if he will do self harm in the hull in order to escape the responsibility.”

That doesn’t sound like Dr. Grace, but at this point you don’t know if you really know Grace at all.

“Not only do you know him, but you’re an extremely qualified Doctor, so you’ll be the ship medic if he is sent up. If he does harm to himself, or others, you will be in charge of that situation. Or if any mishaps happen where someone is wounded, we need this Project to follow through.”

You slowly rose your hand during one of these meetings. “What if I… don’t… want to go. This is a suicide mission, I-“

“We don’t care. Grace will not want to go. So you two can bond over that.”

Awesome. 

And with your luck, after a deadly explosion of Astrophage, the two scientists were rendered useless before launch. Pronounced dead at the scene.

And you were forced to be put into a medically induced coma, and to go aboard the Hail Mary, all so you could be a medic.

——

When you woke up, everything was hazy.

“What is 2+2?”

Four. You thought.

“Aughhr…” You say.

“Incorrect.” The voice restates its question. “What is 2+2?”

Why can’t you talk? You smack your lips, not wanting to open your eyes yet, because you’re still trying to remember things. You make loud noises, groaning continuously. You roll out of bed, before feeling an edge, okay, don’t roll over there. You open your eyes slowly, seeing you’re very high above the ground, with several empty ‘hospital’ beds below you.

A robotic arm grabs you and moves you back to the center of the bed. “What is 2+2?”

“Fruckc.. off…” You groan, trying to sit up, to look around. The lights are bright and fluorescent, and the gravity feels unreal. Your arms feel stronger, you don’t feel unhealthy.

You feel tired. You feel gross.

You can assume it was a coma, your memories are hazy, you have no clue where you are. But you know that you probably just got out of a coma.

“What is 2-“

“It’s four!” You yell at the arm. “Four! It’s fucking four!” You rub your face.

“Correct!”

The arm takes several IVs out of you, you assume a feeding tube was taken out of you moments before you woke up, because your throat feels really weird.

You look on the other side of the bed, seeing a floor and a ladder that leads to a hatch. This room obviously has nothing of importance to provide you, so you sit up, slowly standing. Now that you’ve answered the question, the robot helps you up, guiding you to the hatch.

When you begin climbing, the robot arm holds onto your back to prevent you from falling, and when you get the hatch door open, you can’t help but say “Thank you,” to the arm.

When you step out of the hatch, you enter a hallway— and you smell blood. It’s so much blood, it’s a nauseating smell. You cover your nose with your hospital gown.

Is this a hospital? Hospital gown, smell of blood, coma, seems like a hospital. But why would a robot arm be taking care of you? That doesn’t seem right in the slightest.

You hear loud thuds, like a ball rolling down the hallway. You turn your head in fear, maybe a cart or an emergency patient is being rolled. You step to the side to make way.

But you see a… rock… crab? In a clear… low polygraphed ball.

What the fuck is that?

“Human! Human is alive! Three humans on ship! Grace friend!” It begins rolling towards you, you have no clue what it is. You don’t want to know.

Ship? You start to wobble down the hallway, in your mind you’re running, but you’re actually walking quite slow. You turn the corner, looking behind you as the rock shouts ‘Amaze Amaze!’

You bump into a wet figure, gasping, and backing up to see blood on you.

You quiver in confusion, you look up. A bearded man with longer hair looks down at you. He’s muscular, he has frustration in his eyes, and he’s covered in a lot of blood. You think you hear him ask if you’re okay, but it doesn’t fully register.

You begin shaking your head, about to scream.

But behind the man, is Dr. Grace. You remember him, his face, his name, that’s about it.

“Dr. Grace!” You shout, walking over to him, again, imagining yourself jogging much faster towards the only person you know.

Dr. Grace accepts you into his arms, registering that you just woke up from a coma. Regardless, his embrace feels safe.

“You’re awake!” He screams, happy as can be despite the blood now on his shirt. He seems to have been worried about you, because his arms are shaking in your tight embrace.

“I don’t- I, what’s going on? I don’t remember anything…”

“It’s okay, It’s okay. God, you’ve been out so long, the mission is basically done.”

“Mission?”

“Project Hail Mary.” He says, memories come back faintly at the mention of the name, and you rub your head slightly.

“Human does not remember!” The rock states the obvious. It goes slightly ignored.

“Okay…” You push yourself away. “That doesn’t explain the… rock, or this guy covered in blood.”

He blinks at you, despite being covered in blood, he’s pretty reserved. The blood doesn’t seem to be… from him. It’s like he took a bath in someone else’s blood. He ignores you entirely, and looks at Grace.

“Who’s is this?”

“Gosh, so many questions! This is Dr….” He repeats your last name. “She’s the Doctor at the school I worked at, I… I’m not sure why she’s on this ship. I’ve been wondering that since I woke up.”

You push yourself off of him, not realizing you’d been hugging him so tightly for so long. He didn’t seem to mind, it actually looked like he needed the brief human embrace.

You rub your eyes. “Who is he? Why is he asking who I am?”

“Because I was curious?” The bearded man turns his head at you.

“Okay, okay everyone calm down please. Uh, Rocky.”

“Yes Grace, question.”

“Can you take Simon to uh… the showers where he can handle the blood situation? And clothing situation? I should probably talk to the Doc here privately. Catch her up, you guys are throwing her off.”

“Understand. Come Grace blood friend to bathing center.” Rocky rolls away, and the burly man named ‘Simon’ follows it with heavy footsteps that squelch against the metal floors.

The silence is heavy in the room, your brain is foggy, fuck, your eyesight is foggy. You have the rest of your life on this spaceship, and you can’t even remember what you’re on it for.

Dr. Grace guides you into the laboratory, simply because it’s an easy room to get to in that moment, he helps you sit down.

He reexplains the entire Project Hail Mary mission, the issues with astrophage and the Patrova Line. The more he speaks, the more you remember. The more you remember why you’re on this ship.

You interrupt him mid-sentence. “How long have you been alone, Dr. Grace?”

He blinks at you, shocked at the interruption, but he considers it. “I have no clue… maybe eight months, if you’re asking how long you’ve been out since I’ve been awake.”

“…I’m sorry. Stratt sent me as a… medic for the ship. I was supposed to be the one handling any issues. But from the looks of it you seem to have gained injuries.” You gently take his hand, looking at a scar, running your thumb over it. He lets you.

“None of that explains the rock, or that random guy— seriously, who was that? Eight months is not that long, and I’ve missed so much.”

“Well, that rock is— Rocky. He’s from the planet Erid, making him an Eridian. I taught him our language, and he’s helped a lot with solving the Astrophage problem. Perfectly healthy, it’s just we can’t survive in each-other’s atmosp-“

“You solved the Astrophage problem?” You perk up, eyebrows raising.

Dr. Grace perks up with you. “Yes! Uhm- Tau Ceti, the star, it has a Patrova line to a planet we named Adrien. On that planet was basically um… microorganisms, to put it simply, that were a ‘predator’ for astrophage. Then all I did was send those back on probes to Earth.”

You sigh, leaning back in relief that the problem had been solved. 

“That means I’ve missed it all, we’re all going to die out here.”

“Not exactly, Rocky gave us some astrophage as fuel, we have enough to make it back to Erid. So, not back to Earth right now but… maybe in the future?”

You sigh again, taking it all in, you originally thought you had no choice but to die. Hearing that’s not the case? Extremely relieving. You rub your head, the brain fog clearing.

“As for the man, he actually arrived like… four hours ago? It’s really complicated but we think he’s from an alternate dimension, and accidentally managed to enter a wormhole. His ship is designed for water, like an extremely thick submarine. We managed to get him out of it and bring him in, as the ship didn’t look suitable enough to survive out in space.”

You blink. “That doesn’t explain the blood he had on him? Is he an axe murderer?”

“He says that in his world- or, dimension, all the stars have died, all the planets are gone. There’s just space stations, and he was a Convict for… something he doesn’t wanna talk about. They basically had him go into an ocean of blood, but he was being used as a sacrifice? Or bait? Either way he’s pretty shocked about being alive still.”

Dr. Grace fidgets with his hands and fingers, you can tell he’s been really thinking about this the past four hours. “We’ve spent a lot of time getting him alive, with CPR and feeding him liquids. But he recovered quickly. My hypothesis is that he’s from a dimension that didn’t solve, or didn’t realize the astrophage problem, leading to planets and stars being eaten by them.”

“…Or it’s completely unrelated to astrophage.”

The brain fog is coming back, but you get the general idea. “Is he nice?” You ask, rubbing your head intently.

“He doesn’t seem like a butt.”

That’s not a very direct answer. He may just be closed off though. Your stomach grumbles loudly, it’s almost embarrassing.

Dr. Grace shows immediate concern. “Oh! Gosh, I’m so sorry. Stay right there!” He runs out the lab, and comes back with a small pouch.

“What is that?”

“Liquid food, your body isn’t used to solids so you have to work back up to them. I know it sucks.”

You groan, begrudgingly opening the satchel and taking a sip. You’re met with an immediate flash of flavor and deliciousness on your tongue, it tastes like chicken, several healthy vegetables mixed in. It’s the best thing you’ve had in… what, four years?

Dr. Grace chuckles at your expression, and how quickly you down the food. Immediately you feel better, your muscles feel somewhat better. Mentally, you still feel gross.

“Uh… shower? Is that possible?”

Dr. Grace nods. “Yeah! Come, I’ll show you.”

You follow him down the hallway. “Originally,” He starts, “The ship wasn’t gonna have a shower room, but I had to beg Stratt. Saying it’d be inhumane to make a person bathe without a proper shower.”

You nod. “Were you and Stratt close? She barely talked to me.”

He glances at you over his shoulder, shrugging. “I’d like to think she trusted me more than others, but I wouldn’t consider us friends. She had a mission that took priority over any friendship.”

Dr. Grace points down a hallway. “That room is the shower room, let me know if you need anything.”

The offer isn’t perverse, it’s genuine.

You walk over to the door, unthinking, and nudge the door open. The shower room is relatively large, like a mini-locker-room shower. There’s several unopened bars and packages of soap, conditioner, all sorts of stuff. One of the showers is already running.

The floor is red.

Oh.

“OH I’m SO sorry I-“

“It’s okay.” Simon says. “It’s a locker-room shower, other people are expected to be in here.” He looks at you with a cold look in his eyes, you can see several burns and welts on his arm, something you should definitely treat under different circumstances.

Until then, you close the door. “Just- let me know when you’re done, I’d prefer!”

You hear a quiet ‘Mkay’ from him, and you notice a ball rolling down the hall again, Rocky turns the corner and looks at you.

“Blood Human is in bathing room, Doctor Human.”

You sigh. “Thank you, Rocky.”

Before the crab has a chance to roll away, you ask; “Uhm… where would my clothes be?”

Rocky rolls around in excitement. “Rocky show! Follow! Follow!” He rolls off in glee, and you jog slightly to catch up.

He stops at a door, there’s four beds, one of them has a cage so you assume it’s Rocky’s bed.

“This Doctor bedroom. Clothes under bed.”

You smile at Rocky. “Thank you, sorry for being scared of you.”

“Apology accepted. Rocky understand that Eridian beauty is difficult for Human brain to comprehend.”

You just kinda… blink at him, but you shrug. “Sure!”

You go over to your bed, pulling out a box. Stratt had, seemingly, broken into your home to take some of your personal clothes and pack them. Which is creepy, but you appreciate it. You search for comfortable loungewear, maybe some shorts and a tank top, something reasonable to wear out of a shower.

You find a black tank top and matching shorts made of silk, they’re somewhat loose on you. You intend to get some real sleep after your shower, not comatose sleep.

You walk out with Rocky, who politely waited for you. You run into the once bloodied man in the hallway, he seems freshened up. He’s wearing a tight t-shirt and sweatpants, presumably belonging to Dr. Grace or the deceased members of the ship.

He’s drying his hair with a towel that rests over his shoulders, and he looks at you. You both pause, Rocky rolls away from you both.

“I’m done showering.” He added blankly, walking away.

You watch him intently, you can’t tell what his tone is. He just seems tired.

You go into the shower room, taking a long hot shower, you don’t even care if the water supply is limited anymore. You use all the soaps they’d given you, taking full advantage of this moment alone. No one walks in, reasonably. 

Afterwards, you put on your black tank top and shorts, you figure you should probably tell Dr. Grace that you’re going to bed, so he’s not worried about your uncomfortably long absence. 

You walk down the hallway, holding a wet towel and the old hospital gown, you peer into the laboratory, seeing Dr. Grace talking to the man.

He’s explaining everything he just explained to you.

“So basically, we’re headed to Erid. I’m not sure if we’re going back to Earth, but we won’t die.”

“That’s all I care about, Ryland. I don’t wanna die.”

Dr. Grace smiles at him. “That makes two of us.”

They’re sharing a nice moment, it feels like you’re watching an old married couple. Supposedly, they’d just met a few hours ago, but they talk to eachother like they’ve known each other quite some time. Simon is obviously pretty reserved, given his situation, but Dr. Grace saved his life, so he seems to trust him more than you.

You hate to interrupt but you knock lightly on the door.

They both look at you at the same time, Dr. Grace’s expression softens, Simon’s stays the same.

“Hey, uhm. Sorry, I guess this is a weird thing to tell you both but I’m going to bed. I need some real sleep.”

“Okay.” Simon says. “We’ll probably be close behind, at least, I will. I think Ryland is a bit worried about the ship and its destination.”

“Yeah,” Dr. Grace agrees, “Mary’s been through a lot, so if anything off collision happens I’d like to be awake but… I assume we can do shifts?”

You yawn. “I don’t really care.”

Rocky rolls around in the lab, you reckon he’d been hiding around a shelf. “Rocky watch Doctor sleep!”

You grimace. “What?” 

Simon’s expression is similar to yours. Being watched sleep isn’t exactly something you’re wanting to do.

“Eridians watch each other sleep, to keep each-other safe. You get used to it.” Dr. Grace says, and honestly you don’t really care after learning that, as long as Rocky isn’t being creepy, right?

You just nod, gesturing for Rocky to follow.

When you lie down in the bed, it’s a lot more comfortable than the hospital one you originally woke up in. You can feel Rocky staring at you in silence, but you don’t really mind, it’s not the end of the world. You find yourself falling asleep relatively fast.

——

When you wake up, it’s dark outside.

Okay. That’s a given. 

The lights are off in the hallway, and you can hear light snoring. You sit up slightly, peering into the pod next to you. The once bloodied man, Simon, is sleeping heavily.

You can see the welts on his arms, even with little to no light. You really want to look at them when he’s awake. For right now, you’re up, you have no clue how long you napped for, maybe four hours? Either way, you feel relatively refreshed.

Rolling out of the bed, you stand up. Rocky shuffles, moving closer to Simon. He doesn’t say anything, but he figures he should watch Simon sleep now since you’re awake.

You trudge down the hallway in search for Grace, you know he’s awake, or sleeping somewhere that’s not the pods.

You walk into the lab, the lights are on, but Dr. Grace has his head down on the table. He’s sleeping.

What do you do? Do you wake him up? 

You stand there for quite some time, feeling through your now dry hair. 

“Dr. Grace?” You whisper, he shifts slightly.

“Mrgmmph…” Is his reply.

That means he’s not in a deep sleep, so you calmly walk over to him.

You rub his shoulder softly. “Hey, you should probably sleep in the beds. You’ll hurt your back sleeping here.”

He puts his hand on you, a failed attempt at pushing you away.

“Mnmoo…” 

“Moo?” You repeat to him.

“No… I said no… I don’t wanna get up…” He grumbles, waking up slightly.

You pause, rubbing his shoulder still.

“Rocky isn’t watching you sleep.”

For some reason, that does it for him. He peeks an eye open under his glasses, and he sighs. It takes a moment, but he gets up. He rubs the eye boogers out under his glasses, flicking them somewhere. Gross, but understandable.

He walks with you quietly to the dormitory, you two don’t say much, but your hand moves down to his back, you don’t really know why. 

You guide him to his bed, it’s comforting, the way you gently open the blanket up for him, taking off his glasses and setting them to the side. He doesn’t say thank you, but you know he’s grateful.

Simon rolls over and faces the other way.

——

It had been a few days, maybe three? Not an extremely long time, especially compared to how long Dr. Grace had been alone, and for what Simon had to put up with before he came here.

Simon seems to be having a hard time adjusting to freedom, and adjusting to trust. Dr. Grace did say he was a convict, a criminal, so you assume he may have done something wrong? You have no clue what defines ‘wrong’ in his dimension though.

Either way, he’s been through a lot.

One day when Dr. Grace was showing Rocky some more things about Earth in the little TV room, you were left alone with Simon in the laboratory.

It had been awkward, especially since you walked in on him literally showering. God- you felt horrible for that.

Bringing it up again would just make things a lot more awkward, right? So you choose not to. No matter how much you want to apologize over and over.

He’s looking at all the science lab tools, you don’t really understand them, but if anything he understands them the least. You hope he doesn’t ask you to explain anything, because it would be a very botched explanation of equipment only Dr. Grace (and even Rocky) really know how to use.

Just as you’re thinking that, he speaks.

“So what’s your purpose here?”

You laugh a little, being caught off guard. He lifts his eyes to meet yours, and you realize he’s asking a serious genuine question.

“Oh, err, I guess I’m the medic for the ship? I… haven’t really been doing the best job, because I’ve been in a coma. I’m glad Dr. Grace was able to help you.”

Simon looks down at his arm, at the welts that had calmed down. 

“Why are you calling Ryland, Dr. Grace? He’s a Doctor? I didn’t know that.”

“He has his doctorate innnn…” you bite your lip trying to remember, “molecular biology? So technically he has the title. He’s more focused on science and space and stuff, I’m surprised he knew C— well, never mind, he’s a teacher, CPR is a useful skill.”

Simon blinks at you, registering all the new things he’s learning about Dr. Grace. The fact that he has a doctorate, the fact that he’s a teacher. Has Simon been to school, does he know how college works? You really don’t know how different your dimensions are.

“Right.” He states, sighing. “I’m glad he knew it. He saved my life.” 

You nod in agreement, quite awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I… don’t really know what you’ve been through but whatever it was it seemed-“

“Traumatizing?”

“I was gonna say exhausting but, traumatizing could be a word to describe it.” Like you said, you didn’t know his situation.

He goes quiet softly, fingers running over his welts. 

You can’t help but ask.

“Can I see them?”

“What?”

“The welts, I’m guessing they haven’t been treated yet, right?”

Simon considered, it didn’t even occur to him to treat them. He walks over to you, showing you his arm. 

His forearm is covered in tiny blisters, it’s gross. When working in the medical field, this stuff isn’t gross to you. There’s irritation in certain parts, visibly red skin. His forearm is… large, there’s so much room for these blisters to appear, they go all the way down to the palm of his hand. It looks like his arms are the most affected. 

“What are these from?”

Simon bit his lip. “I think radiation?”

You look up at him, eyebrows raising. “How much radiation were you encountering for this to happen?”

He looked away slightly. “On the Iron Lung.”

He doesn’t say anything else and… okay? The medical tool? Wh… what? 

“Iron Lung?”

“That’s what… they… called the submarine I was on. It needed to use a radioactive camera to see, I think. I didn’t really… read the manual.” He admitted shyly, avoiding your gaze. He isn’t as tough as he looks.

That makes more sense. “Well, since you’re not around radiation anymore, this seems treatable. Maybe some scarring but I can definitely work with this, if you’d let me.”

He thinks about it, watching you analyze his blistered arms carefully. You study him, waiting for a reply.

He swallows, his adam’s apple moving visibly. “…Please. It hurts.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You and Simon calmly walked to the shower-room, you weren’t sure if there was really a bathroom? And even then that may be uncomfortable to deal with.

You pull a stool up, having him sit. Leaving him there for a moment, you find a ton of medical supplies in a closet, and you bring them.

You turn a faucet on to a lukewarm temperature, using a clean rag to gently wash his arm with soap. You do it carefully and softly, making sure you don’t accidentally pop any blisters or cause more irritation than needed. 

“Have any blisters popped?” You ask, drying his arms by patting them.

He thinks. “No.. uh, I think this one? I’ve tried not to mess with them.”

“That was a very smart decision.” You smile softly at him, he doesn’t know how to take the compliment. 

You look at the one popped blister on his palm, digging in your basket of medical supplies, applying hydrogel to protect the area. “Are you okay with taking an antibiotic?”

“If it helps.”

“So yes, okay. I’ll give you some when we’re done here.”

You get some medically safe moisturizer, applying it to extremely irritated areas of his arms. He winces softly. “I know, I know.” You’d say to him. “It’s almost over.”

When you’re done, you give him some advice. “Wash it with this bar of soap and lukewarm water everyday to keep it clean. Pat it dry, don’t rub it.” He nods. 

“If any blisters pop, come to me. Here, take these antibiotics, they’ll help.”

You were surprised the ship had antibiotics to help exactly with what Simon needed, you guessed the hull had everything you guys could need for the short time you would be out here. You even spotted condoms while searching through the closet. 

Stratt definitely… over-prepared.

Simon takes everything you handed him, looking at it, back at you. He looks grateful.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just… wouldn’t have known what to do, I guess. Thank you.” He covers his mouth, he looks like he’s about to cry.

You place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Simon, it’s okay. You’re welcome, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Just come straight to me if you have any more problems, okay?”

He nods, sighing, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. “Okay, okay. I will.”

The two of you get up, conversing slightly. Nothing of importance, he’s asking a little about your life on Earth before Project Hail Mary. You both leave the shower room laughing, running into Dr. Grace.

He looks surprised, raising his eyebrows. 

“Uh… what were you two doing in there together?” He turns his head, double checking around the corner to see that yes, he really did just watch you both come out of the shower room together.

He hasn’t learned much about you. What is there to learn? You two were co-workers, and it’s not like you had any crazy secrets he’d just be dying to know about.

It’s clear he wants to know something, anything, because you’ve been catching his eyes a lot these past six days.

After you came out the shower with Simon, he’d been sort of iffy about it. He obviously didnt say anything to you, why would he bring that up? You’re a grown woman, you can do what you want. You ended up being the one to bring it up.

You finally got a moment alone with Dr. Grace while Simon slept, and Rocky watched him. He was sitting in the pilots room, where he’d steer the ship and check their collision course. There wasn’t much room to walk around. He was double checking the course, he had some paranoia about getting off track, you guys only had so much astrophage after all.

When he saw you, his eyebrows rose, a surprised expression on his face, wondering why you’d be in there.

“This is the pilot’s room.” He said. Like you didn’t know.

“Wow thanks.” You sneered, walking over, crouching down. You get a little closer to him, just to see what he’s doing. He can’t deny that your closeness is a little surprising to him.

Especially given that he assumed you and Simon had something going on.

“Did Stratt not consider maybe two people would like to sit down in here?” You jokes.

“There was only one pilot… so.” He bit his lip, looking away at some of the controls.

You glance down at him, his face is somewhat flushed. His lips are red from biting. He’s clearly been stressed, he and Rocky are really the only ones on this ship who know a lot about the mission, and about how this ship even works. 

“Mind if I sit?”

“What?” He looks at you, confusion in his eyes. “There’s no chair for you to sit, and I don’t really trust you to pilot this thi-“

You gently lower yourself down onto his lap, sitting sideways on his thigh. You can fit on just one, considering he’s manspreading right now. You’re not straddling him or anything, no matter how much you may want to.

He inhales sharply, surprised at the sudden move you’re making. Is this a move? Does this count as a move? He has no clue. 

His hands raise a little, not knowing what to do. Eventually, he decides to grip the arm rests of the chair. You can see veins bulging in his arms.

“What’re you doing?” He grunts, peering up at you.

“Sitting. Want me to get u-“

“No, no.” He blurts out, immediately turning a slight shade of pink, he goes back to looking at the screen.  

Bringing a fist up to clear his throat, he manages, “That’s not what I said. I just didn’t know what you were doing… is all.”

You shuffle in his lap, getting comfortable, which earns you the privilege of hearing him breathe heavily. Normally, he doesn’t breathe this loud.

Is it because you’re so close, that you can hear it? Does he always breathe this loud and you just… never hear?

Or are you doing that to him?

“What’re you doing… exactly?” You turn your head, putting your arm around the back of the chair to stable yourself.

He zooms in on… well, you’re not sure. It’s just space. To him these graphs and random numbers must mean something but, to you, the screen is just black with white dots (which you assume are stars).

“Our course. We’re headed for Erid, I was just making sure we were still… y’know. On course.”

“That’s good, you’re the only one on this ship who knows how this stuff works, anywho.”

Dr. Grace laughs softly at that. “Rocky knows.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Okay. Rocky is watching Simon sleep right now.” You giggle, hitting the back of his head lightly. “Can’t exactly do both.”

His laugh continues, but it stutters at the mention of Simon. His fingers tap against his seat with impatience, and his hand flickers up every now and then, building up the courage to eventually place it on your lower back.

“Uhm… what exactly were you two doing in the shower together?” He asks quietly, pulling you ever so slightly closer, looking up at you with hesitance, like he doesn’t even want you to hear his question.

You raise your eyebrows at the question, looking at the entrance, and back at him. You have a lighthearted expression, but he doesn’t. Is he jealous?

Who is he jealous over?

“The welts on his arm.” You gesture to your own forearm. “From radiation poisoning. I was treating them, it was easier to use the water in there than a cramped bathroom.”

His expression softens, he looks embarrassed. “Oh, yeah. That makes sense.” He fumbles, looking away at a screen.

Avoiding your gaze.

You place both hands on his shoulders, standing up and stabilizing yourself to straddle him. Whatever was on that screen doesn’t matter anymore, because he’s looking up at you in shock.

“What’re you-“

You place yourself down right on his crotch, and he gasps, hands immediately flying to your waist to hold you, to keep you still. He’s surprisingly strong.

“Were you jealous, Dr. Grace?”

“N-no, I mean…”

“Be honest.”

He sighs, trying to find his words, he’s more-so concerned about you being so close to a growing boner. He had a halfie the moment you sat on him, but at least you weren’t right on it. He doesn’t care about Simon right now.

He looks around the room, mouth opening, closing, a couple of ‘ahs’ and ‘uhms’ come out as he confusingly tries to find the words.

He doesn’t even know the answer for himself, truthfully.

“A little?”

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you!” He looks up at you, shocked that you’d say such a thing, losing his focus.

His grip on you loosens, and you finally get a moment to grind against him. He gasps, hands tightening on your hips again, and his forehead immediately finds itself towards the crook of your neck.

He grits his teeth, “What’re you doing to me?” He pants. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Why are you lying to me?”

He looks up at you through his falling glasses. “What, so you’re gonna torture me like this because you think I’m… I’m lying about avoiding you?”

You bite your lip. “Maybe. Want me to get up?”

He thinks about it.

It doesn’t take long to find his answer.

“…Mmmph… No. I don’t. I don’t want you to get up.”

“Then start being honest.” You emphasize your point with a sharp thrust of your hips, feeling the cock in his pants starting to grow.

His breath stutters, and he hisses through gritted teeth. “Okay- okay, I’m sorry. I’ve been avoiding you.” He moves away from the crook of your neck, leaning back onto the chair.

“Good. An answer.” You keep a steady rhythm with your hips, each hump earning you a tiny moan, gasp, or breath from him.

“What- are you… rewarding me for… ah, avoiding you?” He asks, gripping your hips like you’ll go flying if he doesn’t. Trying to slow you down.

“No. I’m rewarding myself for finally being able to get my hands on you.”

He doesn’t reply, he just stares at you through half closed eyelids, with an open dumbfounded mouth.

You place your hands on his knees, leaning back as you move. “No smart ass comment, Dr. Grace?”

“No, no-fff… I- I don’t want you to stop.” He admits. “We’re already in… in it now. If we stop I… I won’t be able to focus.” His hand finds its way to his face, dragging it down his cheek. 

He can’t believe what he’s seeing is real.

You purse your lip. “Really now?” You can feel just how hard his cock is under his slacks, you wish you could actually see it, but right now may not be the time. “You poor thing.”

He nods, looking around, “Mhm.. uhm… can I… can I touch you?” He blurts out, shyly, like he’d been building the courage to just say it.

You think about it.

Really hard. The silence is deafening.

“No.”

He whines, like it physically pains him to be refused by you. He even lurches forward, either at shock or because you hit an extremely sensitive spot on his dick. 

You lean in, putting your hands back on his shoulders, pressing your forehead to his.

“Wh…whyy?” He whimpers, looking up at you.

“Because you’ve been avoiding me, and you lied to me.”

“I’mm sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He shakes his head, you gently push his glasses back up. 

Your fingertips press on his chest, making him fall fully back into the chair again. “I was jealous… Is that what you wanna hear?”

“Maybe.”

“You and- ah, Simon, were getting so close and… laughing, I could never get you alone…”

“Yes you could, you just never tried.”

You speed up, he can practically feel the slit of your pussy touching his cock. He whines. “I couldn’t, I can’t- I-… slow down… or I’ll cum, please…”

You don’t listen. “Just think, we could’ve been doing this the whole time if you would’ve just talked to me.” You can’t deny how good this feels, how every now and then you can feel the tip of his cock touch your clit.

Though, this isn’t about you. It’s about him. All him.

He moans, and you cover his mouth, because he’s starting to get loud.

“Shhhh, you don’t want Simon to come in here and see this, do you?”

He looks up at you with tears in his eyes, shaking his head pathetically. 

“That’d be really embarrassing for you, wouldn’t it Dr. Grace?”

He nods, hips jerking up into you. 

He’s close.

He’s getting off on the thought of being caught.

Caught by Simon.

You’re starting to understand.

And he can tell that you’ve realized it, you can hear his muffled ‘no, no, no’ from under your hand.

“You pervert, Ryland.”

He gasps, and you move your hand away so it’d be loud. It echoes in the control room. 

“No- I’m not-“

“You’re getting off thinking about being caught, aren’t you?”

“I’m not, I promise I’m not- I-“ He leans his head back, letting out a dry moan. “Right there- pl- oh my-“

“You want Simon to see us like this, don’t you?”

That sets him off.

He grabs your thighs, humping into you. You hear him cuss, which is really rare for him. Tiny ‘fucks’ come out of his mouth as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. His hips stutter into you, almost lifting you up off the seat.

He cums in his pants.

Hard.

His hands are shaking on you, and 

 you pet his hair gently while he rides that high.

He stays somewhat quiet, besides his shakey breaths.

He finally gains the courage to look up at you, wincing at the wetness in his pants.

“To… to clarify, that’s not what made me cum.”

“Yes it is.”

“It’s not.”

“Do you really wanna keep lying to me, Dr. Grace?”

He opens his mouth, before you hear footsteps. Heavy ones.

Shit.

You quickly stand up, he gasps sharply at how quickly you got off him, and you can see a wet spot in his pants. Fuck. You feel bad.

He looks at you, a yearning look in his eyes. But he waves his hand, shooing you. He’d rather Simon see you with frizzy hair than him with messed up glasses, a disheveled face, and wet pants.

You don’t know what to do, you should kiss him, give him some aftercare, but instead you walk off down the hallway.

You turn the corner to see Simon, this time you don’t run into him.

“Woah, what’s with the rush?” He laughs, looking at you. He even places his large hands on your shoulders to slow you down.

He’s eying you up and down.

“I just heard you coming- walking. Heard you walking.”

You’re acting weird.

He nods his head slowly, “Uh-huuuuhhhh…” he bites his lip, as his eyes move all over you. It starts to click, ever so slightly, in his mind.

“Where’s Ryland?”

——

Whatever you did to Dr. Grace, he needed. The man hadn’t slept in days, and right after he came in his pants he walked into the dormitory, and slept for twelve hours.

Those twelve hours were painfully awkward between you and Simon, even Rocky. Something told you even he knew what was going on.

You ended up just telling Simon that Dr. Grace was busy in the commander, pilot room. He didn’t really believe you, but he wasn’t going to go check. His expression looked like he didn’t really wanna know. 

He ended up just grabbing a protein bar and eating it in the dome with screens, looking at videos of Earth, he’d been doing that a lot lately.

Meanwhile, you immediately decided it was time to go to bed. You would’ve touched yourself to the thought of Dr. Grace’s face moments prior, but Rocky insisted on watching everyone sleep.

Nothing could get done in the dormitory without Rocky seeing, at this point.

A few days had passed, if you had to bet on it, it was probably three days. Everything seemed to happen in three days intervals.

It looked like the tables turned, Simon was quiet around you, but Dr. Grace just could never get a moment with you.

It was always the three of you in awkward silence. And honestly, even when Dr. Grace did get a moment with you, he couldn’t get any words out. He couldn’t even think about that night without getting hard again. It’s like he wanted more but wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

You were in the laboratory with him and Rocky, just talking about Erid, what it’s like.

Rocky explained that the eridians could make a dome of some sorts for the three of you, and that you could each have your own little houses. For privacy.

“Humans do not seem to enjoy sleeping next to each other, statement.”

Of course he could tell, you rub your mouth subtly.

“It’s definitely weird, I mean, speaking as a girl.” You look at Dr. Grace, who nods immediately at your gaze.

“I… I can see that. I think different houses would be good… I mean, I- we could always come by and visit each-other, yeah?” He asked.

You knew what he was implying.

“As long as you knock.” You shrug, trying to tell him that as long as he didn’t avoid you, it was fine.

Before he got the chance to reply, Rocky said your name, which was odd because he normally calls you ‘Doctor.’

“Can Rocky and Grace have moment alone, question? Private discussion.”

Dr. Grace looked pretty surprised, like he didn’t know about this private discussion. Which, he didn’t. He also looked a bit frustrated, because you were finally starting to talk again 

But before he got the chance to protest, you gave Rocky a thumbs down (which is his version of a thumbs up), and made your way back to the dormitory.

The Hail Mary had a ton of laptops on them, and on those laptops had so many articles and information, stuff it shouldn’t have due to copyright, but when you were sent out here, you were expected to die.

Anyways, you kept a laptop under your bed for boredom, and you were currently on page 49 of a PDF explaining every single bird on earth. It was so boring. Yet, you were determined to finish it. 

When you open the door to the dormitory, you’re met with a shocking sight.

Your bed, Simon, and your cutest pair of panties that Stratt had packed.

He hadn’t even noticed you yet, too focused on covering his own moans, the neck of his shirt was between his teeth as his hand moved the red laced panties up and down his shaft.

You could hear your name slip out of his mouth, you can’t deny that it was an extremely hot sight. This is the second time you’ve walked in on Simon naked, but this time was obviously very much different.

Both of them, Dr. Grace and Simon, they’re pervs.

You shut the door behind you, making sure it not only locks but makes a loud click.

Simon shudders, an embarrassing moan comes out of his mouth as he locks eyes with you. He can’t tell what your expression is trying to convey, his hand is still subconsciously moving up and down his shaft.

“Fuck- I’m sorry- shit.” He looks down at himself, at his cock, at your panties laced with precum. “I’ll wash them, I, God, you weren’t supposed to walk in.”

You stay silent, because it’s kind of endearing. You have the entirety of this ship wrapped around your finger, two boys so desperate for you that one would cum in his pants and the other in your panties.

It was attractive. And their jealousy was starting to make more sense by the second. 

You sit down in a chair infront of him, pulling it a bit closer, you’re surprised this room even has a cuck chair.

“Keep going.” You state, crossing your legs.

“No, no this is wrong, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done thiiisissss…..” His words trail as your shoe presses against his cock. “Stop, stop..” He moans, but he holds onto your leg, keeping it there.

“Wow, Simon. You’re shamelessly perverted, huh?” You smirk.

He whines as your shoe moves slightly against the tip of his swollen cock. “I’m feeling a lot of shame right now…” He whimpers, closing his eyes and bucking his hips slightly at the friction.

You move your shoe away, crossing your leg over the other again. He frowns at the loss of contact.

You point at his cock, your panties are still drooped over it. “I said continue. If you’re gonna do this you need to go all the way.”

He could get up, he could walk out if he really wanted to. He wants you to see him like this.

So, he takes a shaken breath and moves his hand to his cock, pumping it once more. Now, instead of closing his eyes and imagining whatever it was he was thinking about earlier,

He’s looking at you dead in the eyes.

His mouth is open, heavy breaths come out with each pump as he holds eye contact with you. He isn’t even concerned about your body, the way your clothes drape over your figure.

He just wants to know that you’re looking at him.

“I’m so sorry…” He says in-between jerks.

“You enjoying this?” Is your reply, head turning to the side.

“Mhm….” He nods, biting his lip. He thrusts his hips up into your panties ever so slightly, imagining what it’d feel like to buck them under you.

Just like Ryland did the other night.

“Say it.” You lean closer. “Don’t mumble, say you’re enjoying this.”

“I-…” He gasps, a weathered look on his face, furrowed eyebrows as he looks at you, stroking his cock with an erratic and non-rhythmic pace.

He whines as he rubs his own tip with his thumb through the lace, “I’m enjoying this…”

“What’re you enjoying about it?” You ask, fighting any urge to touch the throbbing in your own pants. No. You hold the power in this situation, if you touch yourself that puts you on the same equal footing as him and that’s not what you need right now.

He groans, looking away, it hurts to admit just how pathetic he is. 

“Don’t do tha…that…” He moans, and you grab his face, turning his head to look at you.

He looks pathetic, sad, there’s so many words you could use to describe it, but which one is the right one?

Needy.

He looks so needy.

“I… you looking at me, that’s what’s doing it for me. Okay?” He shakes his head out of your grasp, looking down at your panties. “And these— obviously. I’ve been… imagining what they look like on y-“

You interrupt him, standing up and taking the panties from his cock. He whines. “No… no-“ but you shush him, before he gets the chance to look you take off your pants, throwing them and covering his eyes with them.

He’s still pumping his cock, he knows what you’re doing, and if you’ve decided his eyes should be covered then so be it.

When you pull your pants away from his eyes, he sees you wearing the panties. Panties that he’d just been humping, leaking precum all over.

You pray that you don’t get pregnant this way, but it’s not the time to worry about that. That’s a problem for the future, surely Stratt packed some pregnancy tests.

He gasps, words getting caught in his throat at the sight. 

You walk over to him, standing over him, inbetween his legs, thighs dangerously close to his cock. His head switches from looking at you, to your panties, he doesn’t know where to look.

That seductive gaze looking down at him,

Or the wet panties he was just humping.

“Fuck- I’m gonna cum- gh-“ He chokes and leans his head on your stomach, cumming onto your panties without thinking. He didn’t even realize how pent up he’d be, because his cumshot is quite impressive. 

You look down at the mess he’s made on you, and you bite your lip. It’s… hot. You hate to admit it, but looking at how far Simon’s cum managed to get on you, it’s really turning you on.

Before you get the chance to say anything, he takes his shirt off, without being asked, and wipes it off of you. He doesn’t look up at you, he’s too embarrassed.

“I’m sorry.” He says, wiping his cum up, even off your panties, not even registering how close he is to your core.

How hard he still is.

“I didn’t mean for you to walk in on that it- it was just a moment for me. I… it was frustration, I needed to get it out, I-“

You grab a handful of his hair, he gasps, a tiny ‘ow’ falling from his lips. You force his head up to look at you, and he turns red.

“Did it help?”

“Huh…?” He manages, star struck.

“With your frustration, I mean.”

He takes a few deep breaths, setting his sticky shirt down on his thigh.

“It did… I, yeah. Thanks. Twice you’ve helped me now.” He brings a hand up to wipe the sweat off his face. “I need to make this stuff up to you, somehow.”