#avanda

1,573 words. Ewvanda. Pre-relationship modern!au setting. Mutual pining, but Avanda is a clueless dumbass. I say mutual pining but its Av's pov so really its just her pining really hard for 1,573 words. I've been sitting on this for so long, part 1 of ?

Avanda watched the dark grey clouds expectantly. They'd been threatening rain all week, but so far hadn't actually made good on it. She was starting to go crazy. Her living situation was already...tense.  Ewan was practically moved in. If he wasn't staying on the couch here in the apartment that she and Thane shared, then she was on the couch in his family's apartment above the Base. That was ideal. Or, it would have been; could be at least. Maybe if Ewan felt the same way about her that she felt about him. Maybe if they shared more than a lingering glance when they thought the other wasn't looking. 

Maybe if they were together. 

But as it was; Ewan was only doing his job. And Avanda was only obeying her father's suggestions. She and Ewan weren't in love. They were both just following orders. 

Ewan shifted at the dining room table. He had papers scattered all across it. Maps and plans; mission summaries and intelligence reports. He was piecing something together with a precise organisation in his head that was severely lacking on the table. He shuffled a stack of reports and sighed a little. The sound was copied by the clouds outside, who seemed to be letting out a low rumble of thunder in agreement. 

"What's this?" He asked.

"A scar." She answered dryly.

He gave her a withering look and she couldn't stop the smirk from crossing her face.

"From what, smartass?"

"I wasn't particularly well liked at school. Someone took a knife to me while I slept." Avanda felt no need to advertise her similarities to him. As far as she could tell, they were as different as night and day, and the fewer rays of light they had in common, the better. She glanced at his tattoos again, a growing fascination building inside her as she studied them. On one side, she saw a string of symbols similar to the ones she had lost, but the other side was unfamiliar to her and she couldn't make sense of them.

Ewan let go of her chin and placed more official, durable handcuffs around her wrists before cutting the rope away.

"Did they ever catch the bastard?" He asked.

Avanda shrugged. "They didn't particularly like me either."

She could have sworn that his has clenched momentarily, then he loosened it and shrugged. "Probably 'cuz you're a smartass."

    Avanda nodded, and sat on the edge of the cot. She didn’t move for a long time, staring at the walls and straining her ears for the sounds of her crew mates. For the first time in years, she was totally isolated from all of them. She closed her eyes and lay down, pulling her knees to her chest as she tried to push the sense of panic from her mind.

    They’re all still here, she thought,  Jalev and Jadé are just across the hall from me.

    She tried to stop the small whimper that slipped out, but had limited success at choking it back. She jumped as the door opened, and she nearly rolled out of the cot in surprise. 

    “Easy there, Lass.” She looked up to see Ewan standing before her. “I’m just here as your escort, nothing more.”

    “Escort?” She frowned, “Where am I going?”

    Ewan held the door open for her and gestured for her to stand. “Back to the castle. We have a few more questions for you.”

    “You said the interrogations were done.”

    The young man shrugged. “I misspoke. We have one or two more things we’d like to know about you.”

    She took a deep breath and nodded, standing up and following him through the makeshift hospital. They stepped out into the sunlight, and she shrank back a little from the other two guards that stood outside, waiting for them. Her heartbeat quickened as they directed her back towards the castle and through the hallways to the dungeons again. The screams set her teeth to chattering again as they descended through the levels, each step dragging her deeper and deeper into the dark.

    “No…” She stopped, realizing that they were taking her back to the interrogation room. “No, you said the interrogations were over. You promised, you can’t--no.” she pulled against the grip on her arm as one of the guards tried to push her forward again, fighting against her as she dug her heels in.

    Avanda fought as hard as she could as they dragged her through the halls, back towards the room she’d been interrogated in. She thrashed against their grip and kicked her legs, screaming as loudly as she had been when she was tortured, but it didn’t stop anything. About halfway there, Ewan stopped and split away from the main group and ducked into a dark doorway, pulling Avanda with him. 

    “Gimme just a second.” He said to the other guards, calling out over Avanda’s cries. He turned to her as she crumpled to her knees, reduced to weeping and begging. 

    “Please don’t, please don’t, please…” She wailed. 

    “Lass, stop talking for just a second.” Ewan’s voice was stern but not cold, and she gradually faded into soft whimpers. “We aren’t gonna hurt you. We just need to be sure no one can hear us while we talk to you a bit. It’s secure down here, no one can evesdrop on us.” His hands gripped her shoulders and he was crouching in front of her, his eyes locked on her’s. “Alright?”

    She forced herself to nod, her heart still beating wildly in her chest.

    “I promise you’ll be alright.” He whispered so that the rest of the group wouldn’t hear and gently wiped a tear away from her cheek, then helped her stand. 

    She managed to walk the rest of the way on her own. When they got there, it was just as dark as it had been earlier, but it felt colder this time. She froze in the doorway, not daring to go any farther. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but it was much gentler than the one that had brought her here the first time had been. Instead of shoving her roughly inside, it guided her forward. She shivered as a small squeeze told her to stop. The room was silent except for the sound of her heartbeat thundering through her ears. Finally, the King spoke, his voice cutting through the silence.

Just a little something about AU Ferret and Avanda's first meeting

"Alright. Here we are: home sweet home." Ferret put the truck in park and climbed out. Avanda didn't move. She just pulled the leather jacket tighter around herself as her eyes scanned the area they had pulled into. Ferret rolled his eyes as he stepped around the truck opening the door. "You coming, princess? Or are you planning on staying out here?"

Avanda looked at him nervously, seriously considering staying in the car. Ferret, however, did not have the patience to stand around and wait for her to make up her mind.

"I could always take you back to Marin..."

Avanda was out of the truck in an instant. Her legs shook as she dropped out of it, and she almost collapsed, but Ferret caught her, grabbing one of her arms and heaving her up.

"Watch your step. Couple of traps set up around the place, better keep close." She couldnt help but keep a hand wrapped around a bit of his jacket to avoid setting off any of the traps he had mentioned.

"Shop's over there. You'll be helping me in there once you're feeling a bit better."

"What sort of things...?"

Ferret shrugged. "Mostly mechanical work. I've got a motorcycle I'm fixing up, and a few old cars. Eventually you'll run smuggling missions with me. But for now you need to lay low."

"I don't know anything about cars." Avanda said, scowling.

Ferret shrugged. "You'll learn."

He unlocked the door of the little house, and it squeaked against its hinges.

"Sorry there isn't a lot of space. That's where you'll be for now." He pointed to a cot that was set up against the wall with two blankets and a pillow on it. "I'll be back."

Avanda stood in the middle of the dark room, her hand dropping away from his jacket to hold the one around her shoulders again. The whole house was rather bare, not much in the way of decorations or furniture. There was a small, old couch and a beat up tv in the living room as well as 'her' cot, but nothing else.

Something bounced off of her foot, and she let up a yelp as she looked down at it.

"Easy. That's just Steven."

She frowned at the little black disk as it needed and bounced off her foot again. "And Steven is....?"

"My Roomba. Be nice to him. He's still adjusting to the new arrangement."

Avanda nodded a little stepping out of its way.

"Here." Ferret handed her a bundle of clothes. "I know they're gonna be too big for you. Marin didn't exactly warn me that you'd be so freaking small. Just write down what sizes you wear and I'll see what I can get you next time I go into town." Avanda took the clothes from him and stared at them. "Bathroom's down the hall. Ya hungry?"

"What?"

"God this is gonna be a long few weeks, huh? I said 'are you hungry'? I can't imagine Marin and Sevoc were feeding you very well."

"Yeah."

Ferret nodded. "I'll heat up some soup. Take it slow though."

Avanda nodded, heading in the direction of the bathroom. She opened the door and flicked on the light. It was the first time she'd seen her reflection since she had been taken. She face was pale and drawn, the lack of steady feeding having taken a toll on her and her body weight. Her eyes were cold and empty, not full of light the way she was used to seeing them. And her hair....it was wild and tangled in viscous knots. It was going to take days of brushing to free it all.

She pulled off the grey jumpsuit that she'd been made to wear by her captors, and set it aside. The jacket that Ferret had leant her, she folded neatly and set on the counter. She turned her back to the mirror, hating the way her reflection looked, broken and bruised and bloody. She then pulled the too-big black shirt over her head and pulled on the sweat pants, tying the strings as tight as she could so that they wouldn't slip.

She looked at the grey clothes on the floor and frowned at them. She dug through the drawers until she found a pair of scissors, and began cutting the clothes into strips. Long ones, short ones, thick ones, until the jumpsuit lay in shreds all around her. She sat down on the edge of the tub. She wasn't sure why but she didn't feel....fulfilled. She picked up three strands of them and braided them into a long strip, tying it around her wrist. It helped, but it still wasn't enough. She crammed the remaining scraps into the trash before stumbling back out to the living room. She sat on the edge of the cot, and Ferret handed her a water bottle and and a bowl of soup.

"Go easy. Don't need you throwing up everywhere. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning, hot shot."

And with that, he stalked down the hallway to what she assumed was his room.

Despite his warning and her better sense, Avanda wolfed down the soup. And, just as he predicted, she had to hurry to the bathroom. She curled up on the floor, crying as silently as she could.

Sure, Marin had freed her from the abuse of his mentor. But she couldn't help but feel like she had just been transfered to a new prison.