Hi, something i believe i experience is social withdrawal. I get like friendly with people or i enjoy being around my few friends and if this cycle stops for any reason, once i have to interact with others again i withdraw. This is triggered by a week break from school or a day where everyone is busy and cant talk. I also get upset when that happens, but once i get used to it happening i cant go back to it easily. What else happens during this time is i go what i believe is semiverbal(1)
During this time after i havent interacted with people and have to return to it i struggle to talk. Sometimes i even move my mouth and no sound comes out. Something has to really engage me for some reason to get my voice out. Another thing is while i never really feel i struggled sigmificantly with eye contact (maybe i just didnt know it was abnormal) i very strictly cannot look at anyone who i do not feel completely okay with. I also have little energy and drop all my clubs at school. (2)
Im very fussy and cannot do as much as before. I shut everyone around me out. If i see messages even from the few people i truly care about i dont respond. Ill interact if it effects how im doing at school (asking questions after class during is harder now) or if i suddenly have a little more energy in a moment. During these times, even walking up the stairs makes me almost pass out because im so tired and deal with i think insomnia too. Is this an autism thing?(3)
(4) also it tends to happen towards the end of the school year more. Its a never ending cycle of start the year okay, winter comes and i love natural sunlight so that dulls some (possibly sensory input rather than seasonal depression i think) sensory input i like and i feel more drained naturally, and then in the winter i cant wear jeans anymore and any weight gain makes that sensory issue worse. I get comfortable in wearing the same 3 outfits that are comfy, would change if I had more comfy (4)
(5) ones but i do not. (Is that why autistic people end up wearing the same clothes?) then I am just tired from every thing and by this time its always at its worse. Okay thats all i think. Thank you.
Ok. This included a lot of stuff, so I’ll do my best to address everything!
Social withdrawal- First, it’s totally possible to be anautistic extrovert and need interaction with others to feel ok. When there is asudden drop in social contact, it can be very disorienting. Further, autisticpeople tend to have difficulty with change and transitions which can make ithard to go from talking to people to not talking to people. It can also make ithard to transition back to talking to people after not talking for awhile. Forme, even just a quiet day at work where I barely talk can leave me strugglingto make words happen when I get home. I get used to being quiet so it becomeshard to talk.
Semiverbal-what you described definitely sounds like one form ofbeing semiverbal
Eye Contact- I totally relate to your experience with eyecontact. I didn’t realize until a couple years ago that people actually makeeye contact and that I don’t. I had never noticed before that I have anaversion to eye contact. I can only make eye contact with a select few people.Your experience is very much so an autism thing.
Lack of energy- Being autistic can be very exhausting in thisworld. There are so many sensory and social demands on us that it can be hardfor our brains to keep up. This can leave us completely exhausted and unable tofunction. (if you haven’t heard of it, check out spoon theory (there’s asection about it in our FAQ)). Autistic people tend to go through periodsduring which they are unable to do things they are usually able to do. This canbe autistic burnout if it comes with a loss of skills (check out this post for more info).
Cycles- It is fairly common for autistic people to go throughcycles much like you’ve described. Whether due to changing sensory input overtime or waxing and waning stressors, we tend to fall into patterns that repeat.
Clothes- Yes, many autistic people wear the same thing over andover due to sensory issues. For some autistic people it is more related todifficulty with change and needing routines, but for many of us it is because alot of clothes are uncomfortable and we’re doing what we can to help oursensory systems.
I hope this answers everything. If not, send us another ask with your question!
