#august 03

Resist

"Halt," Will announced, flopping down beside his former mentor and handing over a cup of steaming coffee. "I have an idea."

"It's a miracle," Halt muttered, face already buried in his coffee. "And too early for this."

"The sun's up."

"Of course the sun's up, it's the middle of summer. That doesn't mean I want to be up."

"You're losing your touch, old man."

Halt turned to glare at him, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Crowley appeared from . . . wherever Crowley had previously been and now wasn't. It was hard to tell with him.

"Did I just hear what I thought I heard?" he asked by way of greeting, grinning as he sat and flung an arm around Halt.

"No."

"I dunno," Will said, looking between them - he had long since given up on trying to interpret most of their communications, but he was willing to be his mandola that something was going on here. "What did you think you heard?"

"That you just called Halt 'old man'," Crowley said, grin growing as Will nodded and Halt groaned despairingly into his coffee. "I told you. I told you!" he crowed gleefully, shaking Halt by the shoulders.

"You need to learn to respect your elders," Halt told Will, glaring at him while somehow simultaneously ignoring Crowley.

"That's rich coming from you," Crowley said, before chuckling. "Old man - ha!"

Will glanced between Halt's sour expression and Crowley's ear-splitting grin, and decided that he wasn't going to get his answer by guesswork. "I'm confused," he said.

"That's no surprise."

"Oh, hush," Crowley said, nudging him before turning to Will. "Your mentor and I made a bet a while ago. It was . . . far too complex for what we really meant it to be about, but it all boils down to the fact that I wagered that he would get called 'old man' by you - or Gilan - before he reached his fifties, and the fact that he wagered against it."

Will looked to Halt, who continued to scowl into his coffee, then back at Crowley, and grinned. "What, so a taste of his own medicine?"

"Pretty much," Crowley agreed, smirking smugly.

"I hate you both," Halt muttered, glaring at his coffee.

"No you don't, I'm too loveable to hate." Crowley pulled him in so they were sitting pressed together, practically joined at the hip. Halt snorted, but went anyway, head against Crowley's shoulder and mug half-obscuring his face. After a few moments, however, he lowered it enough to peer at Will thoughtfully.

"What was that you were saying about an idea?"

Will's grin widened as he rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Well, I thought that we might do something together - though Crowley is welcome to join us. For old time's sake."

"Oh dear," Halt said, sighing as Crowley perked up in interest. "I have a feeling that I'm not going to like this."

#

"I was right, this is a terrible idea," Halt grumbled, crouched at the mouth of the alley. "I doubt Jenny would complain about us just going in and buying some food during reasonable business hours."

"Aw, come one," Will whispered, elbowing him gently. "Isn't this nostalgic?"

"No."

"It's the reason he's a ranger, though, isn't it?" Crowley put in from Halt's other side. "And you know you can't resist Jenny's cooking."

"Which is why I'm saying that we should go in and buy it like normal people."

"Us Rangers aren't normal people," Will pointed out, before rising up and peering at the door to the kitchen. "Come on, let's go."

Halt huffed from behind him, but another few seconds and Will heard the almost inaudible sounds of him rising and following, undetectable to an untrained ear. The night air was cool as he moved towards the door leading to Jenny's kitchens, joined to the back of her restaurant. The spell of spiced meat still lingered in the air despite the fact that the workers had gone home hours since, near mouth-watering. There was a small window of time left before Jenny and the first staff would arrive to open up for the morning - the perfect amount of time to get in, get some food, and get out. Of course they would leave money - he had no desire to harm Jenny's business and fully intended to overpay as much as possible to compensate for any other problems, and probably explain it at some point too (maybe). But there was certainly something about the thrill of sneaking food from an empty kitchen, and he had fully decided that if he was going to do it he was going to make it worthwhile. He had almost had to do it alone, though; the only reason he had managed to wheedle Halt into it was that Crowley had took him aside and threatened him for a solid five minutes straight. At least, Will assumed it had been threatening; he had no idea what was going on between the two of them, but Crowley did seem to threaten him with various things. usually something strange, probably some inside joke, but it wasn't uncommon to overhear the Ranger Commandment shamelessly blackmailing Halt with the possibility of getting Will to perform "Greybeard Halt" in front of the entirety of Redmont (there had been no asking of Will about his opinion on this).

The door creaked quietly as it swung open, Will not having taken more than a minute to pick the lock. He crept through triumphantly, turning to wave Halt and Crowley in as he straightened in the darkened kitchen; he glanced around, eyes locking in on the several shelves of pies on one wall. Most of Jenny's food was made to order, but her cold pies were famous in the town for their immediate delivery and unsuffering quality. Will was, for some reason, yet to try one, but he was eager to rectify that matter as soon as possible. Grinning ear-to-ear, he took a step forward-

-and whirled around as the door slammed shut.

Crowley and Halt had done the same where they stood, and all three of them stared at the three women who had appeared before the door. Alyss was holding a lantern up to illuminate the room, smile playing across her lips in shadow of the grin splitting Evanlyn's face from ear to ear. Jenny stood in front of both of them, ladle in hand and looking rather unimpressed.

Halt blinked at them several times, before twisting to glare at Will. "I told you this was a terrible idea," he accused.

"Ah, shut it," Crowley told him absently, scratching at his ear. "Evening, ladies."

"Evening, Commandment," Jenny replied, tone scathing. "Having a little fun, are we?"

"Ah, well, you know-"

"Will," Jenny said, cutting him off. Crowley glanced back at Will, before shrugging apologetically and dragging Halt off to the side. Will glared at him - traitor -, before looking back to Jenny in trepidation. "Your idea, was this?"

"We-ell," he stalled, backing away as she began to stalk towards him. "Not exactly-"

"Oh? Enlighten me," she hissed, swinging her ladle menacingly. Will mentally berated himself for ever gaslighting himself into thinking that this was a good idea. It had not been a good idea. He had honestly forgotten how scary Jenny was when she was angry, and especially when she had access to wooden cooking implements; he was currently being reminded.

"Hey, there's really no need for this," he said nervously, holding his hands up placatingly. "What's a little joke between friends?"

"I'll show you what a 'little joke' between friends is-!"

"Woah, Jenny, hold on," Alyss said hurriedly, smile a tad bit more nervous as she stepped forward to catch her arm. "Don't be too harsh on him."

She turned to face her, arms crossed challengingly. "Oh? Too harsh, am I?"

"No, don't start on me. I'm sure Will was going to pay for whatever he took - right, Will?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding vigorously. "Yep."

Jenny glared at him, then Alyss. "Stealing food is the behaviour I'd expect of a child, not a Ranger in his mid-twenties. Let alone two Rangers more than fifteen years his senior," she added, gesturing exasperatedly at Crowley and Halt, who were watching with mild interest.

"These three Rangers are notorious for being . . . unusual," Alyss pointed out. "Our friend Will especially."

"Meaning that they're all three of them idiots," Evanlyn cut in, grinning at Will past the shoulders of the other two.

Will shrugged. Normally he'd at least object a little bit, but right now, he was more concerned with saving his own skin. "Probably."

"Definitely," Crowley put in.

"I hate you both," Halt said.

Jenny glanced between them several times, then sighed. "I'll never understand you people," she said, shaking her head in bewilderment.

Will shrugged again. "I don't think we do, either. Incidentally, have you been waiting there all night?"

Jenny pulled a face. "Unfortunately. I don't suppose you could have chosen to drop by a bit earlier?"

"My deepest condolences, in that case - we wanted to prevent ourselves from being caught, as well as that turned out. incidentally, how'd you find out?"

"It really wasn't hard - I'd recommend finding somewhere a bit more private to plot, in the future," Evanlyn said, smirking. "Alyss and I were literally sitting just around the corner."

Will frowned at her - there really weren't many places they could have been. Unless . . . "In a cupboard?"

"That's none of your businesses."

"Hey," he told her, jerking a thumb at Crowley and Halt. "If I haven't said anything about those two yet, I won't object to anything you manage to come up with."

"Idiot," Halt said, glaring at him. Will glanced from his face, to the arm Crowley currently had wrapped around his waist, and back to his face.

"Whatever you say, Halt," he agreed mildly.

Jenny looked between them, before shaking her head. "Am I the only one who hasn't managed to find some sort of queer situationship to be stuck in yet? And yes, Will, Horace counts." She sighed, then laughed abruptly. "Oh, well. Since we're all here, let's make the most of it, shall we?"

"I won't object," Crowley said, beaming at her happily. Halt rolled his eyes, but crowded closer all the same.

Jenny raised her eyebrows, before moving to kindle the fire. "I suppose I'd better put the coffee pot on, then. Will, Alyss, get the pies."

"Yes ma'am," Will said, mock saluting her back with two fingers before turning to the shelf.

Alyss appeared beside him, reaching up to grab some of the pastries that had led to the situation in the first place. "What possessed you?" she murmured, smiling slightly as she glanced at him.

"Ah, well, you know. Lack of common sense, and all that," he replied amiably, arms already stacked full of pies. "And you have to admit, Jenny's cooking is hard to resist."

"True," she agreed, turning to deposit her armful of pies on the table. "But most people, while in complete agreeance, would probably just come in to buy something instead."

"That's what I said!" Halt complained.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Ah, shush. 'Old man'."

"I hate you."

"You can say that all you like, but that doesn't change the fact that you owe me quite a bit of money," he said gleefully, eyes twinkling as he nudged him.

Alyss, Evanlyn, and Jenny turned to Will as one as the two older Rangers devolved into bickering, looking at him expectantly.