#askrelationships

Whoo that’s so exciting!!  I know it’s probably really tempting to confess, but you might be moving a bit fast.  Even though you seem ready, he may not be, which is totally fine.  I say you should keep talking to him and see what happens.  He might “get” that you like him, but he might be uncertain of his feelings or afraid to start a relationship. If you confess too early, it could scare him off a bit or make things awkward.  There’s no real timeline for this kind of thing, so go with you gut. (Personally I would wait a few weeks - but everyone is different!). Generally, if you start getting the feeling that he likes you too, then it’s a good time to tell him. 

I'm afraid he found another girl cause he was at sea for a week with his friends and there was some pretty girls. And i don't consider myself beautiful, cause i'm skinny. I have no idea if he likes me. I have no idea what to do (part 2💗)

Text him!!!  Confidence is sexy.  I know it’s like some unwritten rule that girls are supposed to wait around for guys to text them, but sometimes guys are shy and/or afraid of rejection and just want to feel wanted.  So I think you should text him (ask him about his day, or start a conversation about a common interest you share) and forget about the pretty girls he may have met.  See how he responds, if he seems interested, keep the conversation going.  You’ll know if he’s really interested because eventually he’ll be the one to text you first.

I think the best thing you can do is start spending time with other people.  Do you have any non-mutuals friends?  Ask to hang out with them.  Go see a movie, go dancing, try something new!  If you don’t have any non-mutual friends, try to make some.  Join a club or a class.. Learn a new hobby.  The bottom line is that his sexuality is not going to change. You have to accept the fact that there are some things in life that you have no control over, and that is OK.  It will take time but it’ll be much easier if you get out, meet new people and realize that you are capable of being romantically interested in other people. Good luck!!

Hello anon,

This is wonderful news! I’m sure you can both work through this and we are always here if you need a rant or any advice!

Love,

I think the best thing you can do for now is to be there. Just be there for them. Sometimes, people refuse to see things even if it’s right in front of their faces so they may not see it yet that what they’re doing is really unhealthy but it doesn’t mean they won’t. Be a little patient but not completely tolerant to what their doing. Talk to them gently, probe softly. I know sooner they’ll realize what their doing so just be there, okay? Don’t give up on them easily. 

Maybe ask them about the friend nicely. Like, why do they do it? And listen, okay? LISTEN. Don’t try to correct them while they’re trying to explain themselves because that could blow up. So listen and then ask them if they want your opinion. They’ll probably do. (Maybe. I hope.)

But if it ever gets to the point that it’s suffocating you and really really hurting other people, then maybe it’s time to be a little harsh. Or take space. Suggest healing or therapy. (I’m not really an expert, sorry.)

I know that it can be hard sometimes, but don’t lose hope!  I’m not a huge fan of the idea that we all have that one special person, somewhere, out there waiting for us and we just have to find them and we’ll live happily ever after (!!) BUT I believe that there are people out there who we are willing to make compromises for and who are willing to make compromises for us in return.  The guys who have left you in the past clearly were not willing to make compromises for you, and frankly are not worth you time.  You deserve to feel loved and wanted, and I truly believe that you WILL someday.  

Have you ever seen the show How I Met Your Mother?  Because I really like the idea that every wrong person ultimately leads you to the right person.  Think of those past guys as trial runs.  If you think about, you’ve probably learned a lot about yourself and what you want in a relationship. 

I’ve heard of people who make a dream board, but for the kind of person they want to be with.  It doesn’t have to be an actual board. Maybe just write on a piece of paper.  Think of 2-3 main things that you want in a partner, that you’re not wiling to compromise on. And then you can list a few other secondary traits. Having a clear vision of what you want can help you stay away from guys that are completely wrong for you. Just don’t be too picky!  Focus on a few things that are most important to you. 

Most importantly, take some time to be single.  Go out with friends. Maybe try some new hobbies (cooking, sports, painting, etc…). Try to become less fixated on finding a partner and enjoy your life as it is. Who knows, maybe meeting others with similar interests will end up leading you to someone who will stick around.  

I’m sorry to have to burst your bubble but I don’t think twice a month talk is enough for you to consider him as the one or something like that. I know I’m super lame in saying this but just maybe, think it over very carefully. I know it can be magical like how cool is it that you found him after all these years and when you guys talk, you even talk amazingly? Maybe destiny does have a role in this but if your “exact” feelings for each other is not clear as day, I guess it’s safe to say that maybe you shouldn’t entirely let yourself fall. Clear it up first. Maybe you can straight-up ask him instead of waiting around with false hopes. Or you can drop hints about your feelings. Try to talk to him romantically or something. If he takes a bite, then maybe you can put your foot in the door. If not, maybe it’s time to look for the people around you who are really there.

Personally, I was a little blind about the other people in my life until this particular person disappeared on me like poof! Then I learned my lesson. Maybe it can be the same for you.

If not, then by all means, go for it. Or go for what you feel is right. Maybe it can succeed. I hope to heavens it does. If it fails, we’ll always be here.

-Dianne ❤️

dear anon,

do you know the secret of a healthy relationship? it is trust. trust in her love, she doesn’t have to tell you, she loves you every night to proof that she’s doing so. she shows you, maybe with the look in her eyes, the way she touches you or how she talks to you and is interested in what you are thinking and doing. and let me tell you another thing about love. it changes. after a year of dating your love is on a whole new level as it was after two weeks or two months. it is different, maybe not as wild and untamed anymore, more settled and knowing. but i am more than sure, your girlfriend loves you still as much as she used to in the begining. and if this thought is bothering you that much, talk to her, tell her about your feelings and work it out together. this is what love and relationship is about, to go through heaven and hell together. you may also tell her about your wish to die you have sometimes, i am sure, she will listen to you and you’ll find a way to cope with. maybe you also want to have a look at this post?