#ask40

You have a very friendly demeanour, volunteer! Thank you.

Docteur Markson? I see my reputation as moderator (and entrepreneur) precedes me.

Now, I take it you’re refering to this passage, aren’t you?

I once threw myself down a flight of stairs rather than face even one moment with a milliner, at whose shop I quit working after discovering the sinister truth about her berets, only to find that the paramedic who repaired my fractured arm was a man who had fired me from a job playing accordion in his orchestra after only two and half performances of a certain opera.[The Penultimate Peril, Chapter Six]

I see no reason to believe this milliner was actually Esme. She’s a woman and she works in the fashion industry… but that’s still pretty flimsy. Esme only worked in theatrics and finance, as far as we know.

As to the dreadful woman who worked on the Queequeg, we first have to remember that there’s a certain chronological order to remember:

“He’s the second ofour crew of two!” the captain cried. “Aye! The originalsecond in the crew of two was Fiona’smother, but she died in a manatee accident quitea few years ago.”“I’m not so sure itwas an accident,” Fiona said.“Then we had Jacques!” the captain continued. “Aye, andthen what’s-his-name, Jacques’sbrother, and then a dreadful woman who turned out to be a spy, and finally wehave Phil! Although I like to call himCookie! I don’t know why!”[The Grim Grotto, Chapter Two]

This is important because Jacques worked on the Queequeg during a very particular time period. His time on the submarine happened roughly at the same time Lemony and Beatrice had to break up. When Lemony has to leave the country, Jacques sends him a letter where he says this:

Under normal circumstances, new volunteers like ourselves would not receive disguise training until our years of apprenticeship were finished, but we have not been under normal circumstances for quite some time. For instance, currently I am under sixty feet of water, rather than under normal circumstances.[Lemony Snicket’s un-Authorized Autobiography, p.96]

The “under sixty feet of water” part makes more sense if you assume he wrote the letter while aboard the Queequeg.

Why does this matter? Well, it means that by the time the dreadful woman came onboard, Jacques and Lemony DEFINITELY knew Esme worked for the other side of the Schism (since the whole fiasco with the review of Olaf’s plays had already happened). So Lemony and Jacques would have told Widdershins all about Esme’s treachery. There’s also indication that Widdershins followed the whole fiasco pretty closely since he’s responsible for telling Beatrice one of the Daily Punctillo’s articles on the affair was completely true.

For all these reasons, it would be very difficult for Esme to infiltrate the Queequeg, even under a pseudonym. Then again, Monty apparently didn’t know what Count Olaf’s face looked like even though he was in VFD, so it’s still a possibility. Another thing to consider is that Widdershins would probably have told the Baudelaire orphans the spy was Esme Squalor if he knew…

So, even though we don’t know exactly who this spy was, it’s probably not Esme. Someone like Ghede, Dr Georgina Orwell or the Woman With Hair But No Beard would make sense.