#asherin

i don't mind if you don't see the beauty in my trans body :) i'll find the beauty, in myself, in my own skin <3

dishonest people tend to respond to honesty.....ah... chaotically 👀 devil's advocates will hang you by their nuances. look for who you are talking to (especially on the internet), not necessarily just what you're talking about. notice how they talk about things 👀 slow down ⏳️ listen to your gut. yer body Knows. listen to yourself and your own private honesty 🫂 we all have a neocortex for many, many, many reasons 👀 and having a job maaaaybe[?] shouldn't be one of them?👀 andddd the point of Making Money, when Money rn is just supporting the current economy built to enslave the globe for the pedophiles and oligarchs of the 1%? 👀

JUST figuring out who you are in GENERAL is SO HARD. especially in your 20s. can you give yourselves some slack, guys? 😭 you're ONLY in your 20s. you've already gone through too much by 20, and living Longer might sound Worse (objectively understandable!) but you're not running out of time, anytime soon, to live how you will enjoy living <3 🫂 please give yourselves and others around you patience. patience takes strength AND tenderness 🫂

idk if anyone needs to hear this but:

ARCHIVE 📊old writing :// Drystan era

i cannot put boundaries on others! as in i cannot ask people to uphold my boundaries. i just have boundaries i personally set with our blog. which is a kinda new thing to us.

our boundaries lsdkjfjskldfj are that we WANT to, and WILL reply IF/when we can!!!

we as Dogwood have been stretched far too thin, unfortunately. and asher, the usual main fronter/face is too overwhelmed. and has been. for too long. so we're working on not being an emergency department nurse for everyone else's needs before we allow ourselves to prioritise our own immediate needs and emotions, as they happen.

because of this, your question is tricky for me to answer for 2 reasons:

idk who i am 80% of the time now lmao so idk who i AM for anyone to BEFRIEND <.< this is tricky for us hahaha

we feel EVIL and VILE and WRONG and DESERVING OF DEATH when we cant reply to messages for whatever reason DW cant reply o messages. and then a backlog of unreplied-to-messages builds up and we panic and shut down and can't function because we FEEL like people NEED things from us (that people don't NEED they just WANT and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING!! especially nothing wrong with anyone wanting connection and friendship!!). this is why our askbox says [easily overwhelmed] it's a Disclaimer or Warning of some sorts like SORRRYYYYY WE ARE EASILY OVERWHELMED!!!!

see, we LOVE engaging with people, as a whole!! but we are also deeply deeply deeply permanently disabled with a HUGE lack of ability to maintain societally-conventional-friendships. those require somewhat consistent memory, and present-awareness usually. this............ does not come easy for us lol for hopefully obvious reasons lol

we WANT to interact and engage with everyone! not just mutuals, but anyone!! we love hearing about people and learning and reading and listening but GODDAMN we are BAD at FORMING REPLIES.

so if you're happy being the one who mostly does the talking in the friendship, by all means!!! if you can try to not take it Personally if we can't/don't reply, then pls message any time!!!! and double message and tripple message! if you like info dumping to strangers (not like.. traumadumping jlksdf i mean like special interest info and stuff) HOLY SHIT PLEASE SEND US ENDLESS MESSAGES <3333

every interaction we have online, we see as having with a whole-ass person on the other side of the screen from us, also a whole-ass person, and we want to have a human-to-human connection and interaction!!!

we always try not to make assumptions but like we do go off vibes and pattern recognition. we get to know people over-time. first impressions mean very little to us because we can't remember most first impressions lmao

everyone on here, whether we like them or agree with them or not, is a human. and we will interact like a human. like you're standing right there in front of us. we work.. uh... "phonetically." kinda like we're "live-tweeting" our thoughts at all times because i lose my memory so fast, that i actively lose memories as i form them.

so i'm typing this reply to you, but i only have the vaguest recollection of anything i've typed. and i lack the ABILITY to re-read everything. because i'll OCD spiral and edit and re-edit over and over again and end up not replying at all and having an anxiety attack instead. so instead over trying to tailer perfect replies, you just gotta hear it all lol and heeeeelll yeah!!!