lately I've been thinking about the whole "you just haven't met the right person yet" rethoric that many aro and ace people receive when they come out... and guess what? some time down the road, some aros and aces CAN meet a person that makes them feel the romantic and/or sexual attractions and that's perfectly OKAY. and you know why? because regardless of their experience with romantic/sexual feelings, I can assure you that if they once related to the aromantic and/or asexual label, they are still somewhere in the spectrums 💚💜.
Uneducated people will fail to see that your experience is not allonormative and because you feel what they feel right now, you "must be just like them," yeah... I don't believe that a greyromantic person's experience is the same as an alloromantics' or that of a freysexual person is SO allo. aro and ace spectrum people's experiences will be inherently different. Hence why it wasn't a matter of "meeting the right person" but rather "gaining a better of understanding of where I lay in the spectrum."
And this people will say "see, it was pointless to use that label!" and to that I say: fuck you. in those moments when all I felt was lost, confused and broken because I wasn't experiencing the same feelings my friends did, when I felt alieanated from this society because I couldn't fall in love or desire sex like everyone around me seemed to do, it was the asexual and aromantic communities that were there for me, to assure me that my experience was valid and valuable and that I was not alone. Using the aromantic and asexual labels helped me understand my experience and those were simply the labels that I related to the most, at the moment.
Now I relate more to demiromantic and demisexual, but just because I have experienced romantic and sexual feelings, this doesn't make me any less aspec. The way I experience this feelings is in no way similar to the way my friends do it or the way I see everyone around me do it. I must still be part of the aro and ace communities. Thanks if you read all this 🥰🌹.
