#aroace experience

-Warning: The following section contains panels with depictions of injvries and bl0od. Reader discretion is advised for those sensitive to any of these topics-

Well, my girls, in this chapter we've spiraled to understand Chris's orientation in the fic and how, little by little, he's ended up labeling himself with such cruel words. Undoubtedly, the world can make what you used to see as something good become a flaw in your own eyes.

This chapter was definitely very hard for me to write. Even though I've written about Aroace characters before, this is the first time I've portrayed it with such intensity. I had to stop between paragraphs to avoid getting overwhelmed. Although my process isn't exactly the same as Chris's, and I never reached that level of self-loathing, I did incorporate a couple of my own experiences to amplify the impact. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up in a ball. As always, here's the previous part, and goodbye.

----This happened a year ago.

I was visiting my great-grandma at the hospital with the whole entire family tree before she passed away. The doctors weren't sure how much longer she had to live—she was almost a hundred.

Despite the news that this might be the last time anyone could see her, there were jokes and stories galore that had everyone laughing.

Even my great-grandma was having the time of her life.

But then, the conversation had turned to me. My great-grandma asked me when I was going to get married and have kids.

Yeah...

Not even my own parents had asked me that before. In fact, both my mom and dad had already accepted that, while they would love to have grandkids, they might not have grandkids and they're okay with that as long as we're happy.

I had no idea what to say.

My grandpa had then spoken up, saying that I was still looking for a partner and eventually it would happen. (I hadn't bothered to mention my life partner because of how that might be perceived)

Of course, my great-grandma was sad.

She got to see all her other grandbabies and great-grandbabies have kids except for me. And no, my siblings/younger cousins are much younger than I am (some barely in their twenties, and others still teens), so no one expected them to have kids any time soon.

I hadn't corrected my grandpa, but now I wish I had because after my great-grandma had passed, my grandparents are now bugging me about having kids.

I'm the second oldest amongst their grandbabies and the only one who hadn't gotten married/have kids yet.

I didn't know what to tell them every time this conversation was brought up, but now I do, all thanks to my doctor, lol!

My doctor had told me recently that it was best for me to not have kids because of all my health issues and that there was a high guarantee that the baby and I would not make it through the labor process.

Not the kind of thing that someone would normally want to hear, but... I had no issues at all, lol! I'm sex repulsed anyway.

And when the conversation was brought up during a farewell party for my dad's brother (my uncle) who was moving out of the state with his family for work, I basically said exactly what the doctor told me.

Haha!

Like have you ever had someone's eyes glancing up at you as you stand over them, and just *mwah* forehead kiss and it's so gentle and soft and they get to feel so safe and wanted in that moment- or like being the reciever of that awreigkgkirjfjllrhhwkdmsd