#aro polyam

You know friendships? Most people have more than one. But that doesn't stop you from having other friends, and jealousy still happens, but doesn't lead to friends being cut off.

[image description: eight rectangular banners with chevron-shaped edges in an assortment of flags with seven stripes. From top to bottom: aro-ace (purples/grey/white/grey/greens), aro-ace (black/purple/grey/white/grey/green/black), aro-ace agender (black/green/white/lime/white/purple/black), aro-spec (green/black/grey/white/grey/black/green), iamvanoromantic (greys/reds/greys), myrromantic (greens/white/grey/black), nebularomantic (pinks/white/blues) and aromantic polyam/polyam aro (greens/blue/white/coral/grey/black).]

Banner Bases - Aromantic Spectrum

I made a few text banners a while back, but I figured that folks may find the plain bases useful.

For a long time I worried that I did not experience compersion the way I should. I worried I could not experience compersion.

Being sex repulsed, I struggled with the idea that I could not feel compersion because I do not like watching my partners share physical affection** with other people. Actually, I just hate watching people kiss. I wince all the way through episodes of the Good Place. I look away at the end of the Beauty and the Beast. Seeing, hearing about, my partners kissing (or more!) other people? No thank you.

I struggled with idea that I could not feel compersion because New Relationship Energy makes me extremely uncomfortable. I dislike spending months feeling like I'm drugged. I dislike seeing people acting out of character or being out of their normal mind. I avoid mistaken identity and fish-out-of-water stories with all my might because the certainty that something will go wrong. Experiencing NRE vicariously through my partners fills me the same anxiety and dread as watching Elf.***

But seeing my wife open up a box full of love from a long distance partner? Absolute joy! Hearing that my partner is back in touch with his once and future girlfriend? Beautiful! Knowing that there are scheduled phone calls to get everyone through the week? That gives me such comfort! Seeing my love become more herself as she grows her relationships? 💕

I experience compersion. My partners' joys are my joys. Love creates more love. I don't experience compersion in the way that is most often depicted because those depictions center compersion on allosexual and alloromantic experiences. And I am not allosexual or alloromantic.

* I am grey-ace and sex repulsed. I have never identified as aro but writing this I realized my reaction to romance is 🤮

**beyond hugs or cuddles

[image description: six different cartoon-style bunting graphics, featuring six pride flags hanging from a brown rope. The flags are rectangular, finishing in a chevron shape, and have rows of brown stitching across the top of the flag and along the bottom of the chevron. First image in each set shows the flags with the topmost stripes facing the left; second image shows the three right-hand flags flipped, so all topmost edges face away from the centre of the bunting. First set of flags shows a pink/coral/yellow/light green/dark green aroflux flag, second set shows the darker blue/lighter blue/white/light green/dark green non-SAM aro flag, third set shows the dark green/light green/teal/white/coral/grey/black polyamorous aro flag.]

Aro Bunting, No Text

Does anyone want to decorate their website for an aromantic-themed party?