My 112% Completely Normal Polyam Life

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

My heart was heavier than the feather; I am sentenced to Rainforest Cafe

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

World Heritage Post

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

In Babylon 5, didn’t one of the non-humans think Daffy was the god of frustration?

Holy shit, this is nearly 70 years old. This would have been right on the heels of color television being commercially available to the public.

@amayatepes look at this

LMAO

Huh. That’s just a whole ass Daffy Duck cartoon.

Everything about this cartoon is top-notch. The timing, the animation (watch Daffy’s different walks) the art; this is a treasure

teenage girls in numenor were too busy writing feanor x thingol feanor lives au fanfiction to give a fuck about sauron’s gay little devil worshipping pyramid scheme