#poly life

Back in 2017, I entered into a polyamorous triad with a married couple. I was a novice and didn't see the pitfalls, and despite that we made the relationship work for three years. Throughout that experience, I often wondered how things might be different if there was a roadmap for navigating relationships of three people. Is it different, fundamentally, from dyadic relationships? Are there skills or subjects that are more important or prominent? This, my research was born. This dissertation has been a labor of love, and if I'm being honest I've more than once wanted to just quit (but the students loans remind me I need the finish line). But when I remind myself of why I'm doing this, it genuinely sparks a fire in me. I felt alone in my relationship, misunderstood and unsure how to make our problema better. We couldn't find a therapist willing to see the three of us. It seems the helping profession, and research at large, is behind the times. And I'm hoping this project will be the first of many that encourages researches to look at triad relationships specifically. 

When I tried to share the research study in a Facebook group, I was met with opposition. "Are you prepared for pushback when people ask why you're researching triads when they aren't even the most common form of polyamory?" Yes, I am. I'm researching triads because no one does. Not directly or specifically, anyway. And I would know, since I've gathered research on the subject for five years. And maybe triads aren't the most common (despite the media representation), but this population deserves research too. Maybe what we learn here will help inform future researchers (and therapists) about what matters most in these relationships. 

So, that said, if you're currently in a polyamorous triad, or know someone who is, PLEASE consider taking this survey and passing it on. I'm not here to exploit a vulnerable community; I'm trying to build a body of literature that should already exist. This particular study explores relationship maintenance behaviors in polyamorous triads. And as I said, this survey, and the research associated with it, has been a labor of love. Thank you so much for your support!