#aro ask

Of course! And thank you for your support! I’m glad my blog is able to help 😊

For one thing, I love the perspective that being aroallo gives me on relationships. I feel like it helps me be intrinsically less judgmental about sex. Of course, I think my upbringing and the people around me impacted my view, but I’m able to understand people’s complex relationships a lot better. You’re dating and sexually active? Cool! You’re not dating but you’re FWB? Hell yeah! Dating but not having sex? Nice! It all just feels the same and I don’t have strong opinions on it. It helps a lot of my friends feel comfortable and open with me, which I appreciate. I think if I were allo, I’d have a harder time understanding (ie I feel like I wouldn’t emotionally understand FWB or just casual sex as well as I do being aroallo).

I also like being aroallo because it helps me know what my boundaries are. I’ve always had a hard time setting boundaries, personally, but being aroallo and having that label helps me communicate what I’m uncomfortable with better. I used to be unsure of my boundaries, but now I feel more confident (I can let people know I’m aromantic, and if they’re my partner, I can explain which romantic actions I’m uncomfortable with and which ones I don’t mind). It’s better for me to say “I’m aromantic, I haven’t tried that with anybody yet, but if you’re willing to help me explore that I’d love to try it” than “I’m not sure, I haven’t tried it, I might like it?” and then being accused of not loving or caring about the person when I don’t like doing something. Most of that comes from interacting with people who don’t respect boundaries, but telling them I’m aro and that I’m not very romantically affectionate tends to weed out the ones who would treat me like that.

Not a weird question at all!

Nico I think is down for that kind of queer platonic kind of relationship. Who’s to dictate the quantities of love anyway? Just because it is non-romantic doesn’t lessen the importance or value they’d have for what you two would share.

Fatima is someone who is casual with her love, she gives it softly and easily, maybe not wholly, but certainly there, and this goes for any relationship the mc is willing to have with her. She’s accepting, and so long as everything is communicated well, she’s game :D

Isla would honestly feel…. almost relieved? This isn’t to say that their romantic relationship is fraught or anything like that, just that romance, to them, has a lot of strings attached. There are eggshells to walk on, they’re cautious about it, wary, so entering a relationship without romance expected of them? It’s new, they’re still cautious, a relationship is a relationship and comes with all different kinds of caveats even without romance on the table but… this could be nice.

💚

1. What arospec label(s) do you identify with?

I'll go mostly by aroace when I want to describe my identity but the truth is that I identify with very unknow micro-label : Omniaelxi or Omnia for short. It can also be called Omniasexuel but that label has another definition so I rather not use this one.

The definition that I use is : A person who does not experience sexual, romantic, sensual, or aesthetic attractions.

Yep I have never felt any kind of attraction in my life, or at least not visual.

17. What is the worst part of being aromantic?

I feel a strong disconnection with the people around me and while I don't think that aromantism is the sole source of that, I can't deny that it's part of the problem and that I might be closor to my peers if I was allo. Also for now I feel content being semi-isolated but one day if I want to create bound with new people again I will be conscient that there's a diffrence between me and ost people and that will definitely be an obstacle for me.

18. What is the best part of being aromantic?

I have a clear view on what amatonormativity can do to people. And so it doesn't have much influence on me (appart for being an annoyance from time to time). Because while amatonormativity is very directely confrontationnel with aro people, it is much more vicious with alloromantic people. Had I not be aro I would propably have gone through a lot of trouble and painful feelings for a relationship that I didn't really wanted. And I'm grateful for avoiding that.

22. What would be your dream representation of an aromantic/aro-spec character?

It varies from person to person, since defining romantic attraction is like trying to grab a wet bar of soap. I personally found that once I found labels and descriptions, I could compare them to my feelings and experiences. I would reccomend looking through some arospec identity masterposts and seeing if you can relate to any if the identities there? Best of luck!

Hello!

Okay so I’m in a very similar spot that you are in (Pan Ace) and my family is incredibly conservative and Christian. Honestly I just try to keep that part of me as hidden as possible when I’m around them. I don’t have really any blatant pride things and the things I do have are really very small and are easily hidden if they come into my room. I know how sucky it is to have to hide that pet of you but sometimes it’s the best option.

It’s a little easier in my opinion to hide being Ace in my opinion in a Christian household since a lot of Christians push for celibacy till marriage. If your family pushed and asks questions on why your not in a relationship and so on, you could just say that your bust and are focusing on other things at the moment.

3. Favorite color?

Purple, purple, and purple! most of the things I own are purple. room color? purple. sheets? purple. flute case? purple. and my glasses were purple for the longest time too!

5. Favorite pride flag, arospec or not?