Lydia for the arospec ask?
What arospec identities do they have? (Can be as specific or vague as desired)
greyromantic, though she often just uses aro for the sake of simplicity and ease of explanation
How proud of being arospec are they?
not nearly as proud as she is of her accomplishments in academia, but it’s something she embraces without reservation
Do they prioritize their arospec identity over any others?
Lydia is too conscious of interplay between her various discrete identities to try and single any of them out. each affects the others in too many ways to disentangle them. she takes an intersectional approach to herself as much as she does to any other subject because to do otherwise would be reductive.
Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?
Lydia isn’t shy about her orientation. it also doesn’t come up much, at least not in the professional setting that takes up most of her time. her friends and family know, and her various partners (both romantic and sexual) know. that’s all that matters.
How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?
neutral, primarily, with a bit of fluctuation. Lydia’s romantic attraction is frequent, but very low level, not so much that she usually feels the need or the desire to act on it. she’s not repulsed by romance, and sometimes it can be nice. it’s just not worth going to a lot of trouble to get or maintain, and it’s certainly not worth sacrificing anything for.
she has priorities, and romance isn’t very high on the list. most of the time, she would rather be up to her ears in mathematical equations. no romantic gesture can satisfy her like that.
Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?
Lydia, as a woman in academia, is faced with misogyny more often than anything else, but there’s a lot of overlap between misogyny and amatonormativity. the two are very closely intertwined and she’s as quick to stomp out one as the other. the idea that she should be married and churning out babies by now is a special kind of repulsive to her, and the frequent assumption that because she isn’t, she must instead be a heartless frigid bitch who was probably abused as a child and clearly hates men is even more infuriating.
she’s fortunate that she’s fucking brilliant at what she does, because there’s no way she could get away with verbally eviscerating as many bigoted men as she does if she weren’t the undisputed rising star of her field.
How do they show their arospec pride?
she’s not particularly demonstrative in the casual sense. she has a fondness for the color green that she indulges frequently (no reason not to, it looks fabulous on her), but mostly she saves the open displays for actual Pride celebrations. then she’ll let loose, dress up, and let her friends douse her in face paint and green glitter for a day. the rest of the time, she’ll make do with a bumper sticker and some emerald earrings.
Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?
every amatonormative comment made in Lydia’s presence, she will question it. she asks men to explain their jokes as if she doesn’t understand just to watch them flounder to put it into words without sounding like the shithead they are. she asks why over and over until they chase themselves into a corner and bite their own tails. she rips apart every erroneous assumption that underlies their amatonormative attitudes until there’s nothing left for them to do but accept that Lydia can live her life however the fuck she wants to and it’s no business of theirs.
Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?
she took up the label readily and without a whole lot of fuss. she thinks that if she had come across it earlier, back in high school before she had shed her vapid queen been persona, she would’ve struggled with it more. but as it stands, she has ambitions. she has a goal to work toward and plans to make it happen, and the fact that that plan doesn’t revolve around a husband and children doesn’t much matter to her. she isn’t necessarily against the idea of fitting a relationship in there, if one springs up, but she’s never felt the need for one.
as such, the idea that she might be on the aromantic spectrum was neither surprising nor difficult to accept.
Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?
she would like one. as long as her qpp would be comfortable with her work taking precedence. from her experiences so far, she’s relatively sure that a qpp would be more accepting of that arrangement than an alloromantic partner would be, though she acknowledges that that’s a generalization that may not bear out in practice. either way, she would like to have someone to come home to at night, if possible, something lowkey and domestic and without all the fuss and turbulence that comes with dating and passionate romance. a live-in intimate friend with priorities of their own that she can share her free time with in a low-pressure, medium-commitment sort of way.
Lydia doesn’t have time for romance, okay, she’s too busy taking over the world and turning it on its head, thank you and good night
send me a character for my arospec headcanon!
