April 14th-18th - 30 Days of Autism Acceptance
April 14: What would you like other people to be more aware of when it comes to autism?
There are many things I wish other people were aware of when it comes to autism, but the biggest thing I want people to know is that weβre all different and have different needs, but weβre still human just like you nevertheless.
April 15: Free day! Write about any topic you want!
As Iβve mentioned previously, I have been diagnosed with (Central) Auditory Processing Disorder or (C)APD. The reason I put the βCβ in parenthesis is because Iβve seen it called both CAPD and APD interchangeably. Anyways, this is when there is a disconnect between the ears and the brain basically; my ears are fully functional, but my brain has trouble processing language, especially so when thereβs background noise.
On a practical, everyday perspective, this disorder makes it harder for me to understand what people are saying because what they say just sounds like a garbled mess. There was a video someone did a while ago and they spoke gibberish in several different languages to show native speakers what it sounds like when theyβre speaking to non-native speakers. They werenβt actually saying real words, but speaking in gibberish in such a way that it mimicked how the languages sound. My mother language is English so, the one they did on English is exactly what words sound like to me sometimes. It sounds like English and it sounds like words, but I canβt comprehend whatβs said because itβs perceived by me as garbled gibberish. I canβt help it.
Furthermore, I have greatly difficulty understanding media involving audio, especially so songs. Even if the backing track is hardly there, I still struggle to actually make out what the singer is saying. Thatβs why I rely on looking up the lyrics of songs if I liked them after initially being exposed to it. Also, I always put closed captioning on whenever possible when watching shows, YouTube videos, and so on; doing so ensures that I am able to fully comprehend what is being said.
If you have any questions, please ask! :)
April 16: Do you experience hyper empathy or low empathy? Talk about it. What is it like?
I believe I experience hyper empathy, but Iβm not sure. I very easily pick up on othersβ emotions and they impact me (i.e. if someoneβs anxious, Iβll get anxious), but yet I struggle immensely to understand the emotions of other people to the point I grow terribly defensive. Maybe Iβm not highly empathetic, but hyper sensitive to the emotions of other people? I really donβt have a proper answer.
April 17: Have you experienced ableism before? If so, how did it feel and how did you handle it?
Well, thereβs been only a few instances in which Iβve experienced this. One notable time was when I was struggling to handle the presence of the large crowd, noise, and temperature (I am super sensitive to temperature changes and freak out when it gets too hot; I canβt stand heat whatsoever.) at this one family gathering I was at. So, I excused myself and went to find a more quiet place at the park we were at to collect my bearings. When I came back, I managed to catch a piece of a conversation between two family members I hardly know. This is heavily paraphrased, but it went something like this:
A - βWhat was Matildaβs deal?β
B - βI heard sheβs autistic or something like that.β
A - βShe doesnβt look it. And shouldnβt she be acting more mature if sheβs an adult? Autism is no excuse.β
B - βI know. Why canβt she just deal?β
Letβs just say, Iβm glad I donβt really know those people. The worst part is this happened not too long after my official diagnosis. It was terrible. I never did address the situation, but it sure did ruin my day. The thing was, I was being mature by excusing myself. Iβm sure theyβd have much more to say if I had allowed myself to endure the situation until I blew up at somebody or started crying.
Another instance is when I told a now ex-friend that I was officially autistic and with the straightest face possible, she said, βNo youβre not.β
April 18: Discuss how you felt when you felt when you first learnt you were autistic vs how you feel now.
When I was first diagnosed, I was both overwhelmed and relieved. I was relieved because I finally had an answer to why I was struggling so much, but I was also overwhelmed because now I had an answer and a label. I was officially βdisabledβ. It took me a little bit to accept the fact that I am different and I will struggle in different areas; I didnβt like that I had to endure all these struggles while others got it easy. Iβm no longer that petty.
Now, Iβve come to terms with my diagnosis and have actually embraced it. Obviously, Iβve decided to spread awareness and acceptance of this condition and hope to continue to do so for the years to come. As long as I can better one life or educate one person, Iβm happy. I just want to help and this is the way Iβve chosen. This is the only way I can adequately help people anyways XD.
As always, love yourself, whoever you are (whether youβre neurodivergent or not, disabled or not, etc.)! :)
