#another draft post

how do I explain that it's about unlearning behaviors, assumptions, and convinced beliefs and rebuilding oneself to be a properly enlightened individual rooted in truth instead of one honed in on a hurtful limited perspective?

HOW do I explain that it's about untangling lies and seeing how deep they go? That it's about communicating with another individual who is going through the exact same thing in real time and is also making mistakes and learning to apologize and hold themselves accountable, too?

HOW do I explain that these two individuals are on paths that don't exactly mirror each other and that their paces are different? Just like everyone's journey is differently paced with different road bumps and diversions?

How. Do I explain that unlearning these things and recovering in this way isn't a linear thing? There's backsteps and stumbles and sometimes, no progress is made at all. But it's about the choice to do it anyway. It's about the choice to not run from the truth or return to the comfort of what one is accustomed to and choosing instead to embrace the absolute with open arms and take the pain and hurt and sadness that truth brings and continuing onward in spite of that?

Please. How do I explain that realizations are not instant and that they happen over time? That immediate catharsis isn't what is going to be achieved here. It's about the ugly, tiring, and uncomfortable journey to reach that catharsis. It is not bogged down with impatience; it is slow and meaningful and has intent.

It's about...stepping into the head of a character and knowing that their morals and beliefs aren't going to mirror mine as an individual. The actions they take aren't going to be what I would do; they are their own person tackling this journey in their own way, and I am here to watch that journey and see the way ahead and dream of the future and hope for the best.

Gortash: I have no need for these, and silver would look good on you. Would you like them?

Yurena: Your fingers are much larger than mine

Gortash: Ah, right. Hm. Here, I have an idea *puts a ring on each of her horns* see? They look lovely like that

Yurena:

Yurena: Do you have more

Picture of Yurena below to show off her horn jewelry

There’s a huge disconnect between what the writers have tried to sell me when it comes to Tom and what I actually believe. And I don’t just mean in terms of what Tom did; I mean in terms of who “Tom” is. 

First of all, Jacob is his name. I’m not too crazy about it, I wish they’d chosen something else, but that’s the name he’s gone by his entire remembered life. His real name. The name that labels the man who’s not pretending. 

Secondly, he’s a trained killer with sociopathic tendencies and I in no way buy that he is the fluffy domestic bunny. That’s Tom Keen. That’s his cover. That is not who Jacob is and it’s not who he would ever be, at least not overnight. He’s a survivor. (And even he doesn’t believe it, because he’s completely walked back all the stuff about being normal dude he tried to sell Liz in 3b.)

Pardon me if I buy the villain version of Tom more than the 2b onward version where he’s supposedly all better now. Because he just woke up one morning and decided he was. And love for Liz is the reason he did everything ever. And him putting Liz into danger was Red’s fault for hiring him to protect her. 

I know. Figure that one out.