-Phoenix Wright

-stevie

Hi, I’m the anon, who asked about resources for fat and/or autistic questioning people. Thank you, mod Sock! They were helpful and pointed me into new directions for my own research and I want to share some of that. [Note: english ist not my first language, so I hope, the following is understandable.] But first some things I noticed about questioning. Maybe someone can relate to this or it helps someone with their own self discovery. It helped me, when I asked myself “why” about gendered (as in society assigned a gender to) acivites/spaces/things. “Why do I hate it?” “Why do I like it?” “I feel [feeling]. Why could that be?” Two personal examples (I’m AFAB): 1. I switched birth control and it made my hair fall out. It’s now a bit shorter and very thin, and I’m very unhappy about that. But it also got me thinking. “Why did I like having long thick hair in the first place?” I like how it looks and like to twirl/stim with it. But I only do the minimum effort on my hair, and I think I would have cut it long ago, if the maintainance bothered me too much. So a more precise question was needed: “Did I keep it long because women are supposed to?” No, I don’t think long or short hair belongs to a certain gender. So I don’t feel that long hair makes me more feminine or rather I don’t care if others think it makes me feminine. In the end, I concluded that I just really like how it looks and it is a great stim toy. So it had nothing to do with my assigned gender! Others might see this differently for themselves of course, and conclude that their hair style makes them feel more like a certain gender or not. I just wanted to show my thought process as an example. 2. I sometimes feel weird when I’m in a public womens space (for example a public womens bathroom). The feeling increases when I wear revealing clothing. “Why could that be?” It could be “I’m fat so I’m not allowed to show so much of my body”. Or feeling like an impostor, that I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. Haven’t figured out a definitive answer for this, so I continue to ask more specific questions. “Could it be mixture of both?” Yes, it could, but still not sure. “Why does this feeling only appear in womens spaces but not in general public spaces?” Maybe I’m not a woman. Being fat and AFAB did always feel like I was an automatic failure at feminity. So maybe being in a womens space reinfores that feeling. Still not sure. If no answer is satisfying, you can try to find more questions. But sometimes you can’t, and that’s ok. Then leave this topic and try a different one. Writing might also help you. For example I made a list which I keep with me with the sections “Fatphobia”, “Autistic”, “General”, and “Conclusions” (more like “more questions” :P ) and add notes to it when I get a new thought about questioning my gender and how it could fit into any of the categories. And in a different file I wrote my thoughts down as if I was explaining them to someone else. I deleted the writing afterwards, but It still helped me to express and organize my thoughts better. Of course you can keep your writing if you want to. Thanks again for running this blog! :) ———— Resources Fat: https://www.autostraddle.com/fat-queer-tells-all-on-fatness-and-gender-flatness-175110/ Fatness flattens gender expression http://marginaldialogue.blogspot.de/2014/10/thinness-and-gender-fluidity-breaking.html Thinness and Gender Fluidity https://ravishly.com/2015/07/17/im-transgender-and-i-need-body-positivity-too transgender body positivity http://archermagazine.com.au/2017/09/fatness-not-bravery-queer-fuckability/ Fatness is not bravery https://www.them.us/story/navigating-masculinity-as-a-fat-queer-woman Navigating Masculinity as a Fat Queer Woman https://www.bustle.com/p/20-trans-people-talk-about-the-beauty-standards-theyre-so-tired-of-46301 trans peoples thoughts on beauty standards *** TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder! *** https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/my-journey-to-eating-disorder-treatment-as-neither-a-man-or-woman/ Personal experience of a trans person with eating disorder ———— Autistic: https://strangerdarkerbetter.com/2016/12/02/intersecting-pain-when-gender-meets-disability/ When gender meets disability Includes other disabilities. This site has very good autistic resources in general. https://commentsfromthepecangalleryblog.wordpress.com/2016/06/16/autism-gender-identity-and-autisgender/ autistic person thinks about autigender The last two (big) paragraphs are really interesting! https://www.them.us/story/queerness-and-autism exclusion from queer spaces ———— Questioning: http://beyondthebinary.co.uk/questioning/ AFAB person questioning http://dragonheartftherpays.tumblr.com/post/154272125479/i-did-a-very-quick-sketchy-comic-because-i-was comic about finding out if you’re ace/aro But it’s also about “trying to find the absence”. I related to this, because it feels to me like I try to find the absence of feeling a gender. http://dragonheartftherpays.tumblr.com/post/154255993369/pinkdiamondprince-pinkdiamondprince-trying same post, but in text form. https://reggyjester.tumblr.com/post/168534765045/zeequeeraspie-reggyjester-my-personal autistic person questioning I relate to this a lot! https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/7574zq/the_difference_between_intrinsic_and_extrinsic/ Types of dysphoria The first comment thread is especially interesting. ———— Agender: http://findchaos.tumblr.com/tagged/agender Agender comic artist They even made two comics explaining agender both in general and their personal experience. Tag includes asks from followers about being agender. https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-agender What is it like to be agender? Multiple people answer. ———— on femme presentation: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/femme-invisibility-queer-community/ Femme presenting people talk about their experiences.

JJBSNAOZOZJXBSMSOZXJBDKAOSIXHXBSKDICHSJENFJXIHWNDOCOWJD tim allen OKWNAMSLXOXBXBSKSOXBDNWOAPSJDBXBWKSPDOXHSBJDIFDNJ tim allen again JFBBANAZOOXIDHFBSNSKXOXIAJWBDNFBCKSO

“NO!” And cue Maya chasing after Ruukoto.

“For the most part, yeah! Sometimes we play games too, though Nick’s not so good at those.”