#anon vent

I've lost weight (ed) and it shut the noise a bit. As I'm recovering, breasts, ass, period and all this shit is coming back and it is truely suffocating. Makes me want to go down this route again just for a little peace of mind.

I cut my hair a week ago. I never stopped being a man in every of my daydreams. But I know I can never. Because I'm scared, I don't have the courage, but really, it is eating me alive. I'm so sad I'll never get to live as I want to be seen, as I want to experience things.

I do have forcemasc fantaisies, but not the sexual kind. I want to grow more body hair, put on some muscles, have my voice drop so I can finally talk without cringing... (Tbh I just want to look like Bob Dylan but that's another story).Anyways.

I'm sorry for like, venting all this on you. I don't really have anyone to tell this about. I guess I also wrote to say thanks, to you and other forcemascs blogs all around, for helping escape a little bit the painful reality I am in.

I can never do it. I can never become a man. But it makes me happy to dream about it (althought bittersweet), and I'm glad to see people getting to live it.

I hope you won't mind this long ass message. Wishing you a good life

if all we get next week is a “hint” (and im counting a verbalized feelings realization in this) then i may have to close on buddie because that right there shows that they have no intention of making buddie canon before the finale episode of the show as a whole. because why else would they do all of the shit they’ve done this season, all the hints, the build up, the moments, just for it all to culminate in a “hint.” not a kiss, not even an admission of feelings, a hint

im so tired of hints. its been seven years- seven years of buildup, and slowburn, and will they wont they that the fans have picked up on, but they’re acting like it only just started in ep 11 which is just such utter bullshit

the fact that they’re going on this whole ryliver press tour with three confirmed ryliver interviews that all center around buddie, and you’re telling me all we’re getting is a hint? all this fanfare is for one of them to go “oh i like them” like no fucking kidding??? we already know that? so then we have to sit through the entirety of s9 until the last episode of the season before they finally decide to say “ok lets address this again for the first time” and it’s then just another baby step and nothing concrete??? like how much longer are we going to let them get away with it, bc it’s driving me insane.

ive been watching the show since day 1, ive been a buddie shipper since the moment eddie diaz joined a season in, i have been waiting years for this, and now, after multiple episodes of actual buildup, you’re telling me i’m gonna have to sit through another season of time wasting and thumb twiddling before tim makes up his mind? and even then what if he decides to backtrack and toss out the notion completely? we know he obviously doesn’t care about fandom backlash after bobby’s death

it’s so genuinely frustrating to me and i just… im going to be so disappointed of all we get is a “feelings realization” which is something they should have already had at this point

And yet succeeding at neither and just being left with a lot of repressed anger and opinions.

This is fucking everything I feel. I want to believe they aren't doing this in bad faith but holy shit do some research

I genuinely still like my ex..

No, not Ender - Jolly.

I just... they lied to me, but... we were FINE until then!

I want to cry so badly I want them back... but I.. just can't say that...

All because I thought I was fuckin' poly... and okay, yeah, I realized they did lie to me even though I asked them not to..

But shit, man... if I just didn't... think that, we would've been fine...

I hate this...

Like they literally do everything for their families and kids, but as soon as men do it they get a lot of praise like the mom literally did the same thing but she gets no praise because she’s expected to do it!

😡

The patriarchy!

Like women and mothers literally can’t win.

If a woman has kids and owns her own company, she’s seen as a bad mom.

But if she’s a stay at home mom, she’s seen as lazy or selfish.

“Like can’t women do what men do and get help?”

Because society and patriarchy will be all “oh my god you’re a terrible mother!”

Grrrrr.

And people wonder why we hate and despise men and this is why we need feminism and misandrists.

Because men are seen as good father especially single fathers but single mothers and mothers in general get nothing because they are expected to do it!

Ugh.

Like what are we chopped liver?!

By the time I gave birth to my son, me and my baby daddy had broken up already and he wanted nothing to do with our son.

So I had to do all the fucking work by myself.

I stayed out of a job taking care of my son for awhile and I lived with my

No one helped me. My mom helped but she couldn’t help much because of medical issues.

“Why don’t you just move with a friend?”

All of my friends have kids of their own and they live in different states!

None of my family members helped me.

Nobody.

I did everything myself.

I fed, bathed and changed him and rocked him to fucking sleep!

But no one ever told me “you’re doing such a good job!” Not even my own mother did be “you are expected to do that!”

AGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡😡😡

Society and patriarchy.

Society standards for women and mothers are fucking ridiculous and I am sick of it.

My son is 5 now and I love him so much, but I just wished someone had actually helped me instead of just letting do everything because patriarchy.

I’m sorry but I am just tired.

If men were doing it, they would be hit with “omg what a good dad!”

That is why I need feminism.

I... never said we didn't need feminism.. What?

Also no one needs misandrists. No one.

im sorry that little kid me was perfect but im really really trying

And yeah I do have confidence and stuff being on my own, and try to be super understanding of other people’s lives and social batteries but, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less or having my brain jump to “they never talk to you like they do x or z so you’re not that important.” Idk like I said it bothers me when peeps are weird like that. Both irl and online :/ it just makes me feel like something is wrong with me you know?

#rantover sorry dove

Honestly, yeah I do; making friendships is so difficult, especially non-superficial ones. Especially if you know that their friendship looks different for different people.

Especially online, since, like you said, lives and social batteries.