#anguish

Late afternoon in Monaco arrived gently, painting the sky with soft shades of gold, pink, and orange.

Inside the spacious and minimalist apartment she shared with Lando, Y/n finally enjoyed a moment of absolute tranquility.

The workday had been long, filled with commitments that demanded her full attention. Upon crossing the threshold of her house, immediate relief came with a long, leisurely shower, the kind where the hot water seems to wash away thoughts as well.

Now, Y/n was holding a glass of wine, and in the room, a vinyl record filled the space with soft music.

Y/n didn't do anything extraordinary or grand. In fact, I was just waiting. Waiting to hear the sound of the door opening, waiting for the familiar footsteps echoing down the hallway, waiting for the moment when I could sit next to him on the sofa, tuck my feet under my body, and share the small, mundane things that had happened during the day.

She walked barefoot to where the vinyl collection they had built together was kept. Holding the glass in one hand, she squinted, analyzing with half-closed eyes which record to play next. Every now and then, she hummed an almost inaudible snippet of the current song, completely distracted.

It was precisely because she was so lost in her own world that she didn't notice when the front door opened.

Lando entered the apartment silently. He carefully closed the door behind him, and the next instant, his eyes met Y/n's on the other side of the room; singing softly, her body swaying to the rhythm of the melody. For a few long seconds, Lando simply stopped and watched.

A tired but genuinely tender smile appeared on his lips as he leaned forward to retrieve his sneakers near the entrance, and the keys were left on the small table.

She was still focused on choosing the next record, and watching her slightly furrow her brow as she read the titles was the most adorable thing in the world. So adorable that Lando remained motionless for a few more moments, simply watching the woman he loved exist within his own home.

But slowly, his smile began to fade from his lips.

The sheer beauty of that scene suddenly brought with it an uncomfortable, heavy feeling in the stomach.

A silent and cutting guilt.

Lando realized with a pang in his chest that he couldn't remember the last time he had stopped everything just to observe her like that, without haste, without looking at the clock.

It wasn't because I didn't love her; quite the opposite. Perhaps it was precisely because I loved her so much and trusted so much in what they had that I unconsciously began to believe that she would always be there.

Exactly in that place. Waiting for him. Understanding every absence.

This made everything even more painful for Lando, because when he got home, he didn't find an angry girlfriend, with her arms crossed or ready to start a fair argument about his mistakes. He found someone who continued to love him in exactly the same light and uninhibited way as always.

And sometimes, the guilt hits harder when the other person isn't demanding anything at all from you.

The last few months passed before his eyes in a painful sequence of memories.

The countless nights he opened that same door too late, finding the lights off; the dinners postponed at the last minute; the repeated promises of "I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I swear"; her affectionate messages that he would answer hours later; the calls ended quickly because he needed to resolve something else with the engineers or the team.

And Y/n always understood. She always said everything was fine, always smiled, and assured Lando that he didn't need to worry.

But now, watching her alone, content with her own solitude while waiting only for her company at the end of the day, Lando felt the crushing weight of that realization fall upon his shoulders.

She deserved more. Much more than the leftovers of her day.

And the worst part was knowing that Y/n would probably never have the courage to say it out loud, because she cared too much about not being a burden.

Lando pushed those thoughts aside and walked towards her.

Without making a sound, he approached from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his chest against her back. Y/n let out a small cry of surprise, but it almost instantly vanished from her expression when she met those familiar green eyes so close.

A warm, bright smile spread across her face, and Lando felt his chest tighten once more with her sweetness, burying his face in her neck.

"Hi." Y/n let out a soft laugh, relaxing her body against his. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry." Lando smiled, pulling her a little closer to him.

"You're not excused." She joked, laughing softly and shaking her head.

Despite the mock scolding, Y/n was already leaning in to give him a quick, loud kiss on the lips. Lando smiled against her mouth, tasting the wine, and cupped her face in one hand, his fingers caressing her cheek before stealing it for another kiss, this time slower, deeper, and more needy.

Simply because I felt a desperate longing for her that I could barely measure when I was away from her.

"You arrived early." Y/n smiled as soon as they parted, raising her free hand to fix a stray curl that fell across his forehead.

"Is this a complaint?"

"I'm assessing the situation." She laughed, her eyes sparkling with the teasing. "Because normally, you only show up when I'm already thinking about going to sleep."

Lando lowered his hand from her face and placed it on her waist, pulling her closer. "How dramatic."

"Maybe a little." Y/n conceded, letting out a comfortable sigh and resting her chin on his shoulder. "I even looked at the clock when I heard the door."

"Liar, you were looking at the vinyl records and humming along."

Y/n pulled her head away from his shoulder, feigning disbelief. "Ah! You were watching me!"

"You caught me. I was!" Lando wrinkled his nose with a mischievous smile and leaned in to awkwardly touch his nose to hers.

"Cute!" Y/n smiled, playfully rubbing her nose against his in a gentle back-and-forth motion that made Lando laugh.

Silence settled between them again, but in a comfortable and familiar way. Y/n moved away just enough to slide another record off the shelf.

As soon as new music began to fill the room again, Lando approached from behind without saying a word, his arms returning to encircle her waist. Y/n smiled immediately, feeling the warmth of the embrace, resting the back of her head against Lando's shoulder while her soft fingers rested on his hands.

Lando began to rock them slowly, guiding a lazy, gentle sway from side to side right there. It didn't even seem like a real dance; it was just a selfish excuse to keep her as close to his body as possible, an excuse to inhale the sweet scent of her hair, to feel the comforting warmth of her skin, and to savor a few minutes that seemed to have become increasingly rare and precious in recent months.

It was precisely in that moment of quiet that he began to pay attention to the lyrics of the song.

Each verse that spoke of invisible distances and silent presences seemed to fit into an extremely uncomfortable and painful place within him.

The suffocating tightness in his chest returned immediately, stronger than before.

Lando slowly opened his eyes and his gaze fell on Y/n just below him. She remained completely relaxed in his arms, moving in step with him, oblivious to the storm of guilt and anguish that was beginning to form inside her boyfriend's chest.

And seeing that peace in her only made things worse for Lando.

Because Y/n still seemed genuinely happy, content, and grateful just to have him there, holding her, even after all the months in which he had only been partially present in the life they shared.

"Funny..." His voice came out low, almost disappearing amidst the chords of the music.

Y/n raised her head slightly. "What, love?"

"That song. I had never really stopped to pay attention to it before."

"It's one of my favorites," Y/n said softly, completely oblivious to the turmoil he was feeling. "The record must be scratched from how often I play it." She chuckled.

But Lando didn't join in the laughter and didn't say anything else immediately; he simply held her shoulders gently and partially turned Y/n's body within his arms, just enough to be able to observe her from the front and look into her eyes.

"What is it, dear?" she asked, immediate concern softening her tone.

Lando took a deep breath, feeling the heavy air.

"It's just that... there's a part of the song that's stuck in my head." Y/n tilted her head slightly, not understanding where the conversation was going, and Lando looked away for a moment. "About forgetting to say... and not having time for certain things. But someone always being there, waiting..."

Confusion remained clearly etched on Y/n's face, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, but she remained silent.

"I was just thinking..." He continued, his voice faltering slightly. "We had a trip planned to Italy a few months ago, remember?"

Y/n blinked, clearly surprised by the sudden and specific change of subject. "Yes, I remember."

"I canceled two days before we were supposed to go and said I'd make up for it right away." Lando continued, his words tumbling over each other before she could interrupt him. "Our anniversary dinner was also canceled... because I got home at midnight."

"You were at the factory working, Lando. With the new simulator." Y/n pointed out gently, without any trace of anger or resentment in her voice.

And that lack of accountability was exactly what made everything worse for him.

"It was... But it was still our anniversary. And it was important. It should have been a priority."

"I know." She tried to offer a comforting smile, but her lips trembled.

Lando noticed the millisecond of sadness in her eyes, and it hit him like a punch.

"Do you remember that whole week I spent traveling for work?"

"Which one?"

The question slipped from her lips before she could process the weight of those words, and it hurt Lando more than any argument ever would.

Because she was absolutely right.

He lowered his head, and an immensely sad smile appeared. "You stayed up waiting for my goodnight call every day that week."

"I didn't mind, Lan. I know how crazy your routine is these days."

"But I care!" His voice rose, heavy with frustration directed at himself. Y/n opened her mouth to reply, but he continued verbalizing everything that was bottled up inside. "Twice that same week I said I'd call when I got to the hotel and I just forgot."

Y/n lowered her eyes for a brief second, fidgeting with his fingers. "You were busy..."

"That's the damn problem!" His voice came out lower, almost a painful whisper. "I'm always busy."

"Lando..."

"No." For the first time that night he interrupted her firmly, not out of irritation with her, but because he needed to wrest that truth from within himself before it choked him. "I've spent the last few months telling myself, and anyone who will listen, that I'm doing all this for us, for our future... and maybe some of that is true. But... that excuse doesn't change the fact that I've been distant. I left you alone here."

Y/n shook her head immediately, her eyes fixed on his.

Lando simply watched her silently for a moment, feeling his heart break at seeing how hard Y/n was trying to protect him from his own negligence. He swallowed hard, his teary eyes fixed on hers.

"I've been distant... I have, love... and we both know it."

Y/n tried to open her mouth to formulate a response, however, the words seemed increasingly fragile.

There really was no line of reasoning, no team deadline or last-minute meeting that could justify the void that had been dragging on, and they both knew it.

Lando swallowed hard, feeling a painful lump tighten in his throat, and his eyes briefly fell on the record player in the corner of the room. The music continued playing in the background, undisturbed, filling the space with that melody that now seemed like a direct accusation.

"I think the worst part is that I'm listening to this song and..." He let out a shaky breath. "...and I'm realizing that I've become the guy from the lyrics."

Y/n simply closed her eyes slowly, letting a heavy tear fall, because deep down in her heart, she knew he was right.

The silence that followed seemed infinitely heavier, denser, and more suffocating than any heated discussion or argument they had ever had during all those many years of their relationship.

Because there was no anger there, no shouting, no finger-pointing or bitter accusations. There was only the stark truth floating between the two, impossible to ignore.

Lando watched the silent tear roll down her face, and seeing that solitary drop was worse than hearing any cry of frustration.

His hand moved up to Y/n's face, touching her skin with extreme lightness.

"I'm so sorry..." His voice came out hoarse with emotion. "I'm so sorry for every dinner I canceled at the last minute. For every call I promised to make when I got to the hotel and simply didn't."

Y/n lowered her gaze, unable to maintain eye contact, and Lando noticed another tear fall from her eye onto his fingers.

"I'm so sorry for turning you into someone who waits... You should never, ever have to keep looking at the clock to see if I'll arrive early. You should never have to eat dinner alone at a table for two. You should never have to make excuses to justify my failures, to yourself." Lando gave a sad smile, his eyes welling up with tears. "You love me in a way I can't even explain, Y/n. And I think I spent so much time believing you'd always be here with open arms that I stopped showing how grateful I am to have you in my life."

"Lan..."

"I don't want you to forgive me because I work too hard or because the season is difficult. I want you to forgive me because I wronged you." His voice broke completely, his chest heaving slightly. "I love you more than anything in the world, and yet I made you feel alone in our own home..."

Hearing that confession, devoid of pride, Y/n finally broke down and began to cry loudly.

It was that silent cry that springs from the depths of your soul when someone finally touches exactly the wound you've spent months trying to ignore and hide.

"I missed you." The confession came out almost in a drawn-out whisper, and Lando closed his eyes tightly. "I missed you the whole time, Lan... but you were working so hard, trying to make everything work out, that I just didn't want to complain." Y/n let out a small, sad laugh through her tears. "I didn't want to seem like the crazy girlfriend, you know? The one who keeps nagging and complaining because her boyfriend is building his career."

Her voice faltered for a moment, sobs choking her throat.

"I didn't want to be that suffocating person or the one who tries to control everything. So I just... I just told myself it was a phase, that it was temporary. That next week you'd have more time." She tried to force a brave smile, and then another heavy tear fell from her eyes. "But when that didn't happen... I invented another excuse for myself to keep enduring."

Lando felt his chest tear open from the inside, because hearing that was the exact confirmation of what he suspected. Y/n carried all that weight in absolute silence, simply because she loved him too much to be a burden. And that lack of selfishness made Lando's own mistakes even more unbearable to bear.

"Look at me," Lando whispered, and Y/n looked up to meet his gaze. He cupped her face in his hands with a careful firmness, his fingers nestled against her skin.

"I can't change the last few months, I know that. I can't go back in time and show up at that dinner, or on that trip, or simply be right here when you needed me..." His thumbs caressed her cheeks, drying her fresh tears. "But I can change things from now on, and I will. I want to be here, Y/n. Not because I have an obligation or because I should, but because I want to be with you more than anywhere else."

Another tear rolled down his cheek, and he immediately wiped it away.

"You are my home. You're the first person I want to call to tell about the good things that happen and the first person I want to run to to complain when everything goes wrong." His hand slid gently through her hair, subtly pulling her closer. "You're the first thing I remember when I wake up and the last thing before I close my eyes to sleep. And I truly don't want to continue living a life where you only get what's left of me when the day ends. Because you deserve the best part of who I am... because you are the best part of me."

Her smile trembled, her lips curving as the tears began to subside.

"Lando..."

"I just want you for the rest of my life."

He smiled slightly, and at that exact moment, the tears Lando had been holding back fell silently down his own face. Seeing his vulnerability made Y/n reach out and wipe his face away before gently resting her forehead against his once more.

"I accept your apology..." she whispered, her heart light.

Lando's breath hitched for a split second when he heard those words. Overcome with overwhelming relief, he urgently pulled her close, enveloping her in a tight, protective embrace.

After floating in that cocoon for a few moments, Y/n moved away just enough to see his face, and a small but genuinely happy smile appeared on her lips.

"What do we do now?" Y/n asked, her voice lighter.

Lando smiled and leaned slightly to the side, picking up her wine glass that had been left on the table minutes before.

"Now we're going to drink wine, listen to those old songs you love, and tell you all about our day." His smile widened, his green eyes sparkling.

Because that routine seemed absurdly simple to the outside world, and precisely for that reason, it was the most important and precious thing to him.

"Because from today onwards, my time is entirely yours and you can do whatever you want with me." Lando smiled sideways with that characteristic charm, and Y/n let out a laugh he hadn't heard in a long time.

"Are you really trying to win me over again?"

"Is it working?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Fortunately, it is!"

"So I'm going to keep doing this every day."

Lando placed one hand on Y/n's waist, pulling her closer so their bodies were pressed together, while his other hand moved up and rested gently on the side of her face, his fingers caressing her skin.

He leaned in slowly and pulled her into a slow, deep, and calm kiss, full of tenderness and a clear intention to start over. It was as if he were meticulously relearning every detail about her, wanting to etch that exact moment into his memory forever.

Y/n responded immediately to the touch, surrendering to the kiss without any resistance.

And as the last chord of the vinyl finished playing, Y/n realized that this was exactly everything she had hoped for since the moment she opened the bottle of wine and chose the first record on the shelf.

It was simply the real presence, the vulnerability, and the power to truly share life with him. With his sweet, imperfect, and passionate Lando Norris.