#angsty dean

You heard the bunker door shut as Dean and Sam had come home from yet another hunting trip. You stood up from your chair and put your book you were reading to the side, ready to greet them.

“How’d it go?” you asked. “Fine,” Dean grunted as he walked past you, head down and to the side. You frowned and looked up to Sam, who gave you a sympathetic smile. “It was good, don’t worry, Y/N,” he put his hand on your shoulder as he passed by you as well, heading towards his room to shower up. You assumed that’s where Dean had run off to as well.

You weren’t a stranger to them; in fact, you’d been in their lives and hanging around for years, only a couple of months after their dad had died, actually after they had saved you from a hunting trip gone wrong. But dating Dean was only a few months new; you’ve never had a relationship, and this was your first, and it was…exhausting at times, stressful. You weren’t exactly sure if you were doing things wrong or right. You didn’t want to push Dean away from you.

Things had been tense between you and Dean since he went from human to demon to human again.

He had said some things to you, and it hurt. He had been with another woman. He scared the kill out of you as he swung a hammer trying to kill you and Sam. You knew it wasn’t him, but it hurt the same nonetheless, and he knew it. He was angry with himself, disappointed in his actions against you two. You had tried to tell him that it was okay and that you still loved him, that you knew it wasn’t him talking, but he wouldn’t listen to you.

You frowned and walked to the kitchen. Maybe some homemade bacon cheeseburgers would cheer him up. Maybe it would make him talk to you…look at you. Your heart broke more, if that was possible at this point. Dean had been virtually ignoring you. The only updates you got on him were from Sam texting you.

You wiped your tears and gathered the food, cooking in hopes it would do something to make him acknowledge your existence again. You missed his touch, you missed his warmth as he allowed you to cuddle him, you missed as he’d kiss you…his lips traveling over your body, between your thighs. You felt your cunt twitch at the thought of him between your legs and on top of you.

You shook your head of the lewd thoughts suddenly accumulating in your head and continued cooking.

You made Dean’s food, making it look all pretty. Hopefully that counted as something instead of making him do it himself or having it all thrown together. You wanted to see that you were really trying for him. You grabbed a beer and headed to his room, knocking first before turning the knob and opening the door. He lay on the bed, head turning towards you. “I made some food, if you want,” your voice fading at the end. “Put it there,” he pointed at the desk before turning away from you.

You scoffed and lightly threw the plate on the desk, catching his attention.

“What’s your deal, Dean? You’ve been ignoring me, you won’t talk to me, you won’t even look at me! I go out of my way to make you your favorite food and I can’t even get a ‘thank you’!” You yelled. “I mean you act fine with Sam, hell you’ve laughed with him until I enter the room and then you leave!” Tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

“I mean if this is how it’s going to be I might as well just leave! I can’t do this if it’s not with you and you’re pushing me away, I’m not the one that did anything wrong and yet you treat me like I’m the one who ran away and slept with another man!” Words flew from your mouth without thinking.

Dean pushed himself off the bed at that. “What’s my deal? What’s my deal, y/n?! I was a fucking demon! I know I made mistakes and I’m sorry, I can’t fix those! I wasn’t me, you have no idea what I went through” He shouted back, pointing a finger at you as he moved closer, anger and hurt written all over his face.

“Oh yeah, I’m so sure you went through so much,” you laughed sarcastically. “fucking another woman as you partied with fucking Crowley the entire time, having so much fucking fun.” You pushed his chest, though he didn’t budge. “fuck you, Dean! At least I’ve been trying with us! You still don’t even seem to care. You’re fine with me not being in your life anymore. It’s clear as day. You refuse to even look to me!”

You saw his eyes flash with hurt and sadness at your words, and you let out a sob.

“Hey, y/n, I didn’t say that,” his voice had gone soft and cracked a bit. “no Dean, that’s the problem. You haven’t said anything.”

The silence was deafening. You both stood there for what felt like hours, but it was only a few minutes. Words swam in both of your heads. Dean took a step forward, hands grabbing your elbows as he pulled you closer gently.

He choked on his words. “I…I’m sorry,” he looked down as if to find his words. “I just felt…I feel…so guilty, and I’m angry with myself for hurting you…y/n…” Dean trailed off as he thought back.

You rubbed his shoulders, trying to comfort him. “It’s okay, I know. I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to say those things. They just slipped out. I’ve just missed you…I hate that I yelled at you.” Tears sprung to your eyes once again. His hand went behind your head, as his other wrapped around your back, and he pulled you into him. “It’s okay, baby,” he petted your hair and placed a kiss on top of your head.

You looked up and met his eyes, glossy and dark. You put your hands in his cheek and pulled him down into a kiss. It was slow but meaningful, so many words and emotions packed into it. You knew he missed you just as much as you had missed him. Your cunt had a familiar slick feeling, and it was quickly pooling in your underwear.

He licked your lips and you gladly invited him in, his hand tangling in your hair as did yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist. You felt yourself brush against his hard cock. he laid you in the bed, hovering over you, refusing to break the passionate kiss, but you couldn’t wait anymore, not with how long he had made you wait for even a simple brush of the hand. And here he was, making out with you, pouring his heart out to you, it felt.

“Dean, I need you, please,” you had a slight whine to your voice. He couldn’t help but smirk at “show me how bad you need this cock inside you,” he whispered hotly in your ear, your eyes practically rolling to the back of your head.

Dean slipped off of you and got himself comfy on the bed, watching your every move. You slowly slipped off your tank top. It was no surprise and the sight wasn’t anything new, but something about it was more than exhilarating to Dean’s cock as what felt like little shocks went through his body and straight to it.

“god you got perfect tits, baby,” he said hungrily looking at you and pawing at his still clothed hard-on. You smiled and walked up to him, grabbing his hands and pushing them away, shimmying your breasts in his face. His hands escaping yours as he grabbed at your tits, sucking on one and fondling the other.

“god i’ve missed you,” he breathed out and you let out a breathy chuckle “I missed you too.”

You started grinding against his raging cock, and his head fell back against the headboard. You grabbed his hands again and quickly cuffed them to the headboard. Stepping away quickly, his head shot up. “Woah, hey, these aren’t here for me,” you giggled as he strained against them. “They are today, naughty boy. You need to know who you belong to. You’re mine, and I’m taking you back,” you told him. You knew it wasn’t him when he was a demon, but it also was him in a way, and remembering him telling you how he had fucked another chick honestly still made you jealous. You looked him up and down, black shirt hugging his muscled perfectly and his cock ever so prominent in his jeans. You licked your lips and slid your skirt off along with your underwear. You could hear him growl lightly.

You straddled his thighs. “My pretty boy, all mine,” you said, eyeing him like candy. “All yours, baby,” he confirmed, making you smirk. Your hands feeling your way down his torso before reaching his belt and undoing it, unbuttoning, and unzipping his jeans, pulling them down. He watched you carefully and curiously.

You palmed him through his thin, black, and grey plaid boxers, already having a wet patch from his pre-cum. “mm my favorite pair,” you hummed at him, lowering yourself and his boxers. You needed to taste him. You slowly pulled down his jeans and boxers, watching as his thick cock sprang upwards with the freedom. You swallowed with need, stripping his lower half completely and throwing the clothing on the floor before taking his length in your hand and stroking softly. Hearing him groan and breathe sharply nearly made you groan. You looked up at him with your eyes, seeing as he stared right back at you, and without breaking eye contact, you took his tip into your mouth and sucked in it, hearing him growl at the sight of you, hearing and watching as he struggled against the cuffs above his head. You smirked at him and took more of him in your mouth.

“fuck baby, you’re gonna drive me crazy.” His voice was low and hot, your cunt growing with heat as he bucked his hips up, his cock being forced down your throat slightly. He gasped, and you put your hands in his hips, trying to hold him down, but he was stronger than you, and you did nothing to stop his hips giving a few more thrusts into your mouth. You pulled up, giggling a little at how needy he was.

“You’re so needy for me, you need my mouth around your big cock, huh?” You smirked, and he growled, “god i’m gonna ruin you.” His eyes were sharp and dark, staring at you, voice dripping in a lustful venom. Your wetness was making your thighs glisten now. You looked at his cock, red and angry-looking, a thick vein going down his entire length. You licked at it up and down, taking his tip into your mouth again and sucking lightly, hand jerking off the rest of him. You felt him twitch heavily and pulled back, squeezing him, and he moaned as you stopped before he could reach his finishing point, his head resting on the headboard, face looking at the ceiling, but his eyes were shut tightly.

You moved up and straddled his hips, grabbing his cock and teasing both you and him with his tip rubbing your slit, ever to slightly going between your folds, hips bucking upwards, making his tip enter you, making you both moan, but you were quick to pull it out and rub it in your clit for a few seconds before dipping his tip back in again, back to rubbing your clit. you did this a few more times. “Just put it in, please. I need you.” He begged.

Abiding his request, you positioned him at your weeping pussy and slowly dropping down on it. Dean wasn’t having it though and thrust his hips deep and hard into you. You gasped and moaned loudly, letting him have his fun and fucking you from the bottom.

“Ohh! Dean, fuck…I missed your cock inside me.”

After a couple of minutes, he slowed down, and you decided it was your turn. You slammed yourself down onto him, letting him rest. You placed your hands on his chest and shoulder, and you used Dean to fuck yourself, head throwing backwards as loud moans ripped through your throat and out your lips.

“Yes, baby, fuck yourself with my cock, beat that sweet pussy up,”

his words pushed you over the edge, and you sat all the way down on him, rocking your hips back and forth as you came around him. You clenched around him, a small scream of pleasure coming out of you.

“fuck yes, come on, your cock, baby girl,” he panted and lightly thrusted his hips.

You got off of him, his monstrous length slipping out of you with a noise of protest until he saw the keys to the cuffs being pulled out from the bedside table drawer. As soon as the cuffs had loosened, you were flipped on your back and watching Dean rip his shirt off before slamming back inside of your tight and sensitive hole.

Dean watched your face as he ruthlessly pounded into you and growled, “My pretty little bitch.” He caressed your face and slid his hand down to your neck before grasping at it firmly, choking you. His other hand hoisted one of your legs over his shoulder. He knew your body, he knew what you loved and drove you over the edge. your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, the moan not quite able to escape your closed off airways, your nails digging into his wrists and scratching his arms, your cunt gripping his cock that didn’t refused for a second to continue pounding your begging hole as you creamed all over him.

once he felt your second orgasm ride out he lifted his hand free and you gasped for air “that’s my good girl, taking my cock so easy, your neck looks amazing with my hand wrapped around it” he purred at you and you whimpered looking at him with half closed eyes, hazy in a daze of pure ecstasy as he abused your swollen and twitching hole, moans at a non stop, almost screaming. his thumb found his way to your clit and rubbed it quickly. your body hurt with pleasure.

“fuck, Dean…you’re gonna make me cum again”

“good, cum on your cock, be a good girl and cum for me” his pace sped up, pounding you harder, lifting your other leg and sliding deeper inside of you, holding your thighs tightly to your stomach and you squirted on his cock, coating your ass and thighs along with his entire lower front and sheets below. the wet slaps loudly echoing almost deafeningly.

Dean slowed a bit, only half thrusting into you now and you knew what was coming…him.

“mm cum inside me please, fill me with your seed” you begged him

with a twitch and a low but loud groan you felt him shoot his hot thick cum inside you.

Dean managed a few more pumps before pulling out of you, letting out an almost pathetic whimper at your sudden emptiness, your legs shaking as he lets them go, he leans down and kisses your neck sweetly as you find your way to his hair and scratch at his scalp, tugging his hair softly.

“i love you Dean Winchester” you whispered

“i love you too y/n y/ln”

you both smiled. it rolled off your guys tongue nicely. the dreaded L word.

“let’s get cleaned up yeah?”

“absolutely”

he lifted you in his arms and carried you swiftly to the bathroom and put you in the toilet seat. He started to run a bath, a woodsy scented bubble bath. when it was full he picked you back up and sat you both into it slowly, you clung onto him for a while, enjoying having your Dean as he ran his fingertips up and down your back.

yeah

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“What?!” Dean yelled out what was going in circles in my head.

What? A way home? Now? Did I want to? Who was I anymore anyways?

Cas continued, unaware of my internal panic, “Yes, The tattoo was the key. It binds [Y/n] to this universe, so if we can find anything that was on her when she came to this universe that binds her to her original universe, I should be able to send her home successfully.”

I shook my head, clearing my panicked thoughts as I remembered when I landed in the clearing, “But I didn’t have anything from my universe on me. When I landed in that clearing with the Vamp, I was dressed differently and everything.”

I paused slightly at the look of relief that flashed over Dean’s face for a second. Was he happy I had nothing to bind me back home?

Cas smiled, soft and angelic. I almost snorted at that thought.

“Your earrings.”

I paused. My hands flying up on autopilot to touch the tiny metal studs in my ears. 

“How can you tell their from her universe?” Dean questioned, and I could read the tension and fear in his posture.

Cas shrugged, “They have a different wavelength. It disrupts the natural order around where they are, surely you’ve noticed this?”

I scrunched my brows. Now that Cas mentioned it, I did feel an almost imperceptible tingle in the air around me that raises the hair on the back of my neck.

“They’re from my Universe.” It was a statement, and it rang true in my voice.

Dean made a strangled sound in his throat. I turned and raised an eyebrow at him, but once I saw the pained look in those emerald eyes, I softened.

Wrapping my arms around him, I spoke into his chest, breathing in the woody whiskey scent that was unmistakably Dean, “Hey, this is what we had been working towards from the beginning.”

A heavy sigh from the chest that my head was buried in, “I know that. And...I’m happy for you. I am. But, we just...Damnit!” He tore away from my embrace and I took the moment to notice that Cas was gone again. Typical.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it more, He stared at a wall, not really seeing it, “We just found a common ground and ...Damn! [Y/n]...is this really what you want?”

He finally turned those blazing eyes onto me and my heart jumped into my throat strangling me.

“Do you really want to go home? Because this could be your home, I could be your home. You could stay here...with me.”

The vulnerability, the tenderness, the childlike quality in his voice had tears in my eyes.

I stayed where I was, the few feet between us feeling like miles, “Dean...I don’t belong here. The longer I stay, the more I lose myself and become someone new. This [Y/n] and I, we’re different people, shaped by different tragedies and victories. Of course I wish I could stay here, with you and Sam and Cas and Charlie and Kevin and Crowley and everyone, But I don’t belong here!”

I was crying now. Hot tears stinging my face as they raced down my cheeks.

Dean’s voice was gruff as he fought his own tears, “Shit [Y/n]. We had this argument already. Don’t we deserve happiness!?”

I laughed, a choked sound, “I am happy. With you. But I also can recognize the truth that this is not my universe. You are not my happily ever after...no matter how much I long and wish for you to be.”

Dean opened his mouth, about to say something else, when the door to the motel slammed open.

Sam rushed in, in a panic, “Guys! Serena told me where the nesting is for her Clan and we can end it! We need a stone that has never known the touch of water coated with salt distilled from the ocean mixed with the blood of a couple who are in love!”

Sam took a breath after his rushed words and read the room. I was standing by the bed, arms crossed with tears running down my face and Dean was by the window, shoulders hunched and hands roughly scrubbing his face.

I took a deep breath and smiled shakily at Sam, “Sounds good. I’ll go search for the rock. You and Dean can find the other ingredients.” And with that, I shoved past Sam and left the motel, running, once again, from the pain in my heart and the love I wish I could have.

I wiped away the tears, with Dean’s henley shirt that I had grabbed. The scent of him following me as I walked in the sunshine, thoughts racing.

I had a way home. Cas could take me home. But where was home anymore? My mind fought within itself. Half saying that Home was on the road, not trusting anyone because trust got me killed and my family put in danger, the other half saying home was a drull college dorm with no friends and a distant family.

I could feel a headache coming on. 

“Can I really stay? Or is that selfish?” I muttered, eyes on the ground as I left the city and made my way into the forest surrounding it.

Kicking a twig, I glared up at the sky, “Chuck! You sonofabitch! I know you’re there! Tell me what I should do! Help me! You all pwerful Fucking god!”

A woosh of air and suddenly a scruffy brown haired young man was standing in front of me. Frowning, “[Y/n].”

I stared. I hadn’t expected Chuck, or God, I guess. To Actually show up. “Umm.”

A smirk appeared on his lips, “You wanted help?”

I untwisted my tongue and sighed, “Yeah. You are the only one I could think would know...if my staying here interrupted the time and space mumbo jumbo of the universes.”

Chuck chuckled, “Ah [Y/n]. I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for you.”

I glared and shouted, “What do you mean? Aren’t you God? All knowing and what not?”

Chuck stared at me and in his eyes I saw a thousand worlds and universes, making my body freeze as the immense power within this man swept over me.

“Do not presume to order me or talk to me like that, [Y/n]. While I wish for a simple life, I am, as you say, still God. Even though the Winchester’s do not know this fact.” With a blink, I could move my limbs again as the power left the eyes of the man in front of me. The woods seemed to brighten as he continued, “While I know, and can alter certain events to fit the timeline, where you are concerned, young [Y/n]...Your life is split right now, and it’s up to you to choose which path to take. No one but you can decide.”

And with that, Chuck disappeared and I was once again left alone in the woods. Staring at the empty space in front of me, mouth gaping.

What the hell did that mean? Could I stay? Or did one of the paths lead to death and destruction if I stayed? 

I glared, “Thanks for nothing I guess.” Talking to God had just left me with more questions.

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He pulls up to the victim’s house - a small family, a man and woman with a twelve year old son named Oscar whose intelligent and kinda reminds Dean of Sam at that age - armed and ready, with Sam and Cas following.

He enters the house and sees the three of them huddled together in the living room. Cas gets out the salt and begins to make circle on the ground.

“Whatever you do stay inside the circle,” Sam explains.

“We’re dealing with a ghost here. Now the dude’s been cremated so his spirits tied to an object. I need you to think long and hard do you own anything that’s second hand? Maybe slightly old?” Dean says. He ignored their perplexed expressions. There’s no time, he needs to get rid off this ghost. Fast.

“Um, I recently purchased a locket from this antique shop. And now that I think about it that’s when the strange things began happening.” The wife explains. Bingo.

“Okay where is it?”

“It’s in my jewellery box, on my desk in the study. Second door on the right.”

“Alright. Sam stay here try to slow the bastard down if he appears. Cas, in the circle now.” Dean turns around and makes his way up the stairs toward the study, not staying to listen to Cas’ protests.

He enters the study and his eyes scan the room in search for the jewellery box. Fortunately there’s a fireplace in the room and Dean goes over and turns it on, ready to burn the locket. He then locates the jewellery box on the desk which just so happens to be at the other end of the room, by the window and it doesn’t help that it’s a large room either.

He makes his way over. Just as he approaches  and is ready to open it up he hears noise in the room. Instinctively, he takes out his gun and whips around only to be met by Oscar.

“Oscar? What the hell are you doing? Get the hell outta here!”

“Lemme help.” Oscar says determinedly. Dean doesn’t have time for this. But before he can say anymore he notices the spirit from the side. He raises his gun but gets distracted by Oscar’s yelp.

“Oscar get out of here now!” Dean says as he begins to shoot the ghost. He misses a few times and the ghost makes his way toward Oscar. Oscar’s determination seems to have disappeared and Dean watches the younger boy stumble backwards only to trip on the edge of the rug and stumble back, twisting his ankle in the process. How he managed that, Dean doesn’t understand and continues shooting the ghost until he finally catches him and the ghost disappears. For now.

Dean’s paternal instinct kicks in and he runs over to Oscar.

“Are you okay buddy?” Dean asks.

“Mhmm.” Oscar whimpers, clutching his ankle. Dean runs an exasperated hand over his face. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid. He stands up and walks over to the jewellery box but stops when he hears a startled yelp. He turns around to see the ghost is back and heading towards Oscar again. Son of a bitch…

Dean whips back around and anxiously fumbles through the various trinkets inside the box. It feels like for forever with increasing worry as the sounds of Oscar’s whimpers continue but he eventually finds the locket right at the bottom of the box. As he makes his way over to the fireplace he notices the ghost has a hold of Oscar. Crap.

Dean manages to throw the locket into the fireplace and watches as the ghost finally evaporates for good. Oscar gasps in relief and Dean helps him up. And slowly they makes their way downstairs.

After everything’s cleaned up and hugs are exchanged Dean’s ready to leave. He’s beyond exhausted and he still can’t shake the feeling that much worse could have happened to Oscar if he wasn’t quick enough. As turns to leave Oscar’s voice stops him.

“Dean, thanks! What you did, was super cool.” Oscar says, smiling. “You’re like a hero!”

Dean can’t help but smile back at that. He never stops to consider that he is a hero in all of this. Hunting’s his job, its what he does.

He, Sam and Cas make their way back to the impala. He turns on the radio and a Bon Jovi songs plays. He’s met with a squeeze in his shoulder.

“You did good today, man.” Sam says.

“Don’t get all soft on me.” Dean says chuckling a little. Sam rolls his eyes.

“I agree with Sam. You did do good today, although I don’t understand why you insisted I stay in the circle.” Cas says.

“Alright you guys, it’s getting all mushy in here in now. Let’s go grab some beers and takeout.” He says. He’s met with hums of agreements. He drives away from the house and let’s the car be encompassed by the music playing. As he drives he can’t help the small smile on his lips.