Tired people do not always need instructions. Sometimes they need understanding. Sometimes they need someone to look at everything they have been carrying and simply acknowledge that it is heavy. Sometimes they need someone to sit beside them and say, "That sounds really hard," instead of trying to turn their pain into a problem-solving exercise.

I think a lot of people spend so much time being resilient that they forget how desperately they want comfort. They become so used to handling things alone that when they finally admit they are struggling, what they secretly hope for is warmth. Reassurance. Gentleness. The feeling of not having to carry everything by themselves for a moment.

So if you have been wishing somebody would stop giving advice and just hold space for you, I hope you know there is nothing wrong with that. Wanting comfort does not mean you are weak. Wanting kindness does not mean you are incapable. It just means you are human.

I am sorry things have been so difficult. I am sorry you have been carrying so much. You do not have to justify your exhaustion or earn your right to be comforted. You deserve compassion simply because you are hurting, and sometimes a hug really is more helpful than a hundred solutions.

If you are reading this and thinking, "I do not need advice. I think I need a hug," then this is me offering one.

A big, warm, virtual hug.

The kind where nobody expects anything from you. The kind where you do not have to explain yourself or justify why you are struggling. The kind where you can just exist for a minute and let yourself be tired.

You do not have to earn comfort. You do not have to prove that things are bad enough. If you are hurting, you deserve kindness.

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

are you religious/spiritual?

do you care about your ethnicity?

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

are you an artist?

do you have a creed?

describe your ideal day.

dog person or cat person?

inside or outdoors?

are you a musician?

five most influential books over your lifetime.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

what’s your patronus?

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

do you love easily?

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

how often would you want to see your family every year?

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

could you live as a hermit?

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

three songs that you connect with right now.