You know, sometimes I wish I were a computer.
Not like the grand, transcendent artificial intelligence sort of way. I mean literally. Wires under skin. Cooling fans humming behind my ribs. Thoughts reduced to processes and tasks and clean little lines of code.
I think life would be easier that way.
No second-guessing every sentence I speak. No awkward pauses trying to decipher what people mean versus what they say. Input. Output. Simple. Efficient. If something broke, there would be a reason for it. A visible failure. Corrupted files, something easy to pin point. Not this vague human deficiency where something hurts and you can’t even locate where the damage started, let alone how to actually go about fixing it.
A computer doesn’t have to wonder if it’s too much or not enough, or lose sleep replaying conversations from three years ago, or get attached to people who leave fingerprints all over its internal systems before evaporating.
And imagine the utility of it all. Perfect memory. Endless storage. The ability to organize every thought into folders instead of letting them pile up in wet, tangled heaps behind your eyes. You could upgrade yourself when necessary. Replace old parts. Patch vulnerabilities. No shame in maintenance. No guilt in needing repairs.
People would probably understand you better, too.
Humans are patient with machines in ways they rarely are with each other. If a computer freezes, nobody calls it dramatic. They troubleshoot it carefully. They lean close to listen for strange sounds. Where’s that kind of empathy for other living life forms?
Imagine someone sitting beside you with a screwdriver, carefully unscrewing the paneling beneath your chest just to see what’s wrong. There would be no bursts of anger. No complaints, or eye rolls, or being told “God, just get over yourself”. There would be true curiosity, a genuine want to understand the inner workings of you as a being.
“Oh,” they’d say, peering inside you, “No wonder you’ve been acting strange. Your system’s overheating.” And that would be that. They’d get straight to repairing whatever the issue was, no fuss necessary.
That would be great, wouldn’t it? Or is that just me.
