#andiary

Edit: DUDE.

AND JOE WOULDN'T TELL KEIJI HIS NAME.

Why wouldnt he speak or say his name...

Claire: 80%

I mean, claire is an adult like every other character in the series, but i get the vibe that she lived a lonely life before the mansion incident. not a sad-lonely life, of course, she's a bundle of sunshine. but she didn't mention anything about having friends who might be looking for her when she was trapped in a floating mansion 😭

she seems friendly, but not social. so i'm just making the assumption but saying that probably doesn't make her lustful either. 23 isba good age to be a virgin. plus (due to double standards) girls tend to want to stay virgins longer.

Ashe: 40%

Uhhh idrk!! i don't want to jump to conclusions and immediately assume that ashe has a 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒚 side, but if he does, it wouldn't shock me at all. just look at the way he acts. that man is so zesty. also the fact that ashe is the (second.) oldest character in the main cast and easily the most charismatic just makes this so likely.

also! the fact that ashe had the most time to live a normal life and explore himself compared to other characters in the main cast (excluding obvious outlier wilardo). the fire didn't happen until ashe was in college, making him at least 18 years old.

Wilardo: 1%

Bro. i shouldnt even HAVE to explain this one... but i will beacause this is a rant. you lived FIVE HUNDRED YEARS in a HOT EMO 22 YEAR OLD'S ABLE-BODY and you mean to tell me you haven't cracked a single person... or got cracked by a single person. no wonder you're suicidal buddy 😭🙏 but yea he's not a virgin. if he is, he can claim the crown as the most asexual person ever.

(also he def has sexual experience with both women and men, there's no way you can live that long and not become bicurious.)

Sirius: 95%

Look at his situation dawg 😭🙏 BOTH parents died when he was jit, then was raised by a kind old lady who ended up getting slimed out too. and all this happened before he was 11 years old. im pretty sure he told noel that after the massacre he rarely left the mansion. and the closest thing he had to a friend was that mysterious blue haired man, so it's ridiculously safe to say he has no social life, let alone a sex life. if sirius is not a virgin i'd actually be shocked.

Noel: 99%

If you know noel's backstory this is not a shock either. HE'S LITERALLY BEEN ROTTING IN HELL SINCE HE WAS 12 YEARS OLD 😭😭 was he cracking demon buns in hell 😭⁉️ i don't think so. i pray not. i imagine a more lustful person could get desperate enough to fuck a demon but i don't think noel fits that bill. if noel is not a virigin i'd be appalled.

organized ranking from most to least likely

Noel: 99%

Sirius: 95%

Claire: 80%

Ashe: 40%

Wilardo: 1%