So a part of me backing away from Tumblr and a few other sites was because I didnāt really want to share any of my art for a while.
Like I made no attempt to hide it, but itād make me extremely frustrated when Iād work really hard on something only for it to get no feedback.Ā Itād be even more frustrating to see other (presumably more successful) artists give either one of the two bits of advice...1) Always share your work because itās great to get your name and ideas out there and/or 2) create what makes you happy and donāt worry about what other people say!
Alone those arenāt bad bits of advice.Ā It just always felt a bit disingenuous coming from people who already have some level of success, notoriety, etc.Ā Like thereās a few steps missing in there before you came to this conclusion and how did you work through the frustration and depression or whatever emotions to get to this place where youāre content?Ā Thatās what I always wonder about creators and I donāt think many are going to be willing to share the journey from point A to point B.
But on my end, I found it a little helpful to stop sharing art.Ā Sure...now my work isnāt getting out there.Ā People werenāt seeing much more than some quick pen ink sketches and what not or marker tests in a sketchbook (really I kept my Twitter and Instagram way more update with art than any other site), but in terms of finished, polished work...I didnāt really wanna share it.
I have this bad habit of getting caught up in the cycle of caring too much about likes, comments, shares/reblogs...On one hand I understand that that shouldnāt matter.Ā If I like what I made and I put my all into it, thatās what matters.Ā On the other, as a person whoās actively wanting to make art a career, having my work shared counts for a lot.Ā Especially when you have industry professionals out here telling people that they check artists on social media and are now giving artists opportunities based on the art they see them post on Twitter, Tumblr, FB, etc.Ā It sends a bit of a contradictory message.Ā I couldnāt quite reconcile the two and I still donāt.
So I spent too much time fretting over what I thought people wanted to see, what I thought I should be making, how each piece was received when I uploaded it...when it wasnāt received well, I stopped liking the piece.Ā Because in my mind, if it were good, people would have liked it more.Ā Since it wasnāt well liked, then it must be bad.Ā Or at the very least, it must not be as good as I thought.Ā After a while the feeling got disheartening.Ā Subconsciously I just stopped uploading art as much, if at all.
That didnāt mean I stopped drawing altogether.Ā I feel like I started drawing more, though part of that was due in part to a friend who commissioned me for quite a few badges.Ā Apart from those 9 things, I started sketching new things...toying around with candy gore, playing with markers and color pencils and gel pens and seeing how they worked together.Ā Thereās a few test pages for something I havenāt made a full illustration for yet in one of my sketchbooks.Ā I toyed around with doing redrawn versions of older art.Ā Something I should do more often when I feel down about my stuff.Ā
I did pen ink sketches.Ā I started watching a lot of Butch Hartmanās videos on his youtube channel and the advice to start sketching in pen was honestly really good.Ā It does force you to be way more confident about the lines you make since you canāt erase them.
I didnāt force too much from it.Ā Forcing a piece makes it feel rushed and lackluster.Ā At least since I know I didnāt care too much for making it, then my feelings toward it arenāt great.
I drew more things I wanted to.Ā Like that flower crown Danny Phantom pic?Ā From start to finish, that one was a bit of a trip.Ā Started it at Otakon and just finished it a few days ago.Ā I spent a bunch of time looking up flower language to figure out what types of flowers I thing would go good with him, looking up reference pictures of flowers, slowly detailing the things...If it were something I was drawing because I felt like other people might get a kick out of it, I probably wouldāve lost interest in finishing it between then and now.Ā I certainly have with a bunch of other things.Ā But Iām legitimately proud of that one.Ā Iām proud of fitting so much detail in a small space.Ā Iām proud of the colors and shading.Ā Iām proud I finished it.Ā And Iām proud that Iām still proud of that picture.Ā Like it might be silly to say, but remaining happy with something that Iāve made isnāt something I can do very often.Ā
The same can actually go for that little pic of Bendy.Ā I wanted to try drawing in that inkblot style.Ā So I did.Ā It turned out pretty good.Ā Even after sharing it and it having a lackluster āperformanceā, I still really like it.Ā I donāt think I could say that if I had done that a few months ago.Ā For sure I wouldāve gotten caught up on why it was performing so badly, why donāt people like it, I worked hard on it, why canāt people see that?
Iām well aware that if artists donāt share their work that it wonāt ever get seen.Ā Thatās a given.Ā So sharing your work is great.Ā But taking a step back and keeping work for yourself isnāt that bad either.Ā I feel like thatās what really made me realize that doing stuff because I wanted to do it is rewarding on its own.Ā The sentiment is nice from successful artists but because I donāt know their journey or struggles and I can just see the pretty āafterā picture, the advice always ends up skewed.
Share work when you feel up to it, but donāt feel obligated to share every little thing you do.Ā Thereās some benefits to just working on your own and exploring stuff by yourself.
