#anceit

This was not how today was supposed to go. He'd planned this. For weeks! And he hated doing that shit, because all he tended to do—all he did do—was spend the weeks worrying about how everything was going to go wrong. And now his worries were justified, because every little bit of it had fallen through. The weather? Stormy. The restaurant? Lost his reservation and was booked. The rare snake exhibit that Janus had been so excited to go see? Damaged by the storm and closed for repairs.

He could feel the heat building behind his eyes, and ground them harder against his knees until he was seeing stars of light behind his eyelids. Worst of all, now he had to tell Janus their date was completely ruined. Honestly he wasn't sure he'd make it through the sentence without hurling.

"Virgil? Oh sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Oh god, and now Janus was here, and Virgil didn't have any time to brace himself to be the bearer of bad news. He didn't want to see the disappointment in Janus's eyes.

Hands were touching him, one smoothing down his back, while the other pressed against his skull, fingers carding through his hair.

"Breathe darling," Janus murmured quietly.

He pressed into Virgil's side, his chest expanding in slow breaths that Virgil tried to copy. It hurt his throat and his chest. Which probably meant that he was having a panic attack, which was just what he needed on top of everything else. Let's have a pity party why don't we, Virgil?

"Come on now spiderling. Lift your head for me, just a bit?" Janus implored softly, pulling so lightly against Virgil's hair he almost didn't feel it. Virgil wanted to do anything but that, thanks. Janus hummed, but didn't press it. Instead, Virgil felt cool fingers slide against his hands, carefully but inexorably prying the phone out of his grip. He could feel the ache of the deep indents in his palm from the edges of his phone case.

Virgil allowed it because ow, yeah, that did actually hurt now that Janus had brought his attention to it. He curled his fingers to close them around his hair, but was prevented from doing that as well as Janus lightly wove their fingers together. Reluctantly, Virgil had to concede that it did feel better than tugging at his hair.

Janus's other hand continued to move in soothing little circles on Virgil's back. Virgil could almost feel the ticking of the clock as the minutes passed and his heart rate slowed. The tight feeling in his chest loosened, and the knot in his throat no longer felt like a rock. He still felt wound up and like crap. Couldn't shake that so easily.

He did raise his head though, looking up at Janus's face through the fringe of his bangs.

"There you are," Janus cooed. It could have sounded mocking (Janus was very good at that), but the blatant affection on his face was too obvious for even Virgil to doubt. (Not that his brain didn't try to doubt it anyway.) Janus reached out, his hand cool as it pressed against Virgil's flushed cheek. "How are you feeling, darling?"

"Bad," Virgil croaked honestly.

Janus nodded as if he'd expected that. "Take your time, dear. Now, I assume this is about our plans for today?" At Virgil's microscopic nod, he gave a soft sigh. "Of course. Well, I don't think it advisable that we push through when you're feeling this bad—"

"Can't," Virgil interrupted bitterly. Janus paused, looking down at him expectantly. "Everything went to shit."

Virgil leaned forward until his head was pressed against Janus's shoulder. His head hurt. Janus, the absolute MVP that he was, immediately started to run a soothing hand through Virgil's hair again.

"I see," he said after a few moments of silence. "Well, that explains a lot, I think."

Virgil nodded, relishing in the slight change of pressure as he rocked his head against Janus's shoulder. Janus's hands slid down to tug him gently into Janus's lap, wrapping his arms around him firmly. The pressure felt so nice against the feeling of being too large for his own skin. It was like Janus could keep everything of Virgil from flying apart, while also protecting him from anything on the outside.

A soft hum filled the air as Janus began a wordless melody, further relaxing Virgil. He gently swayed their bodies where they sat, just letting Virgil pull himself back together. God Virgil appreciated this man.

Some interminable time later Virgil was pulled out of a half doze by the rumble of Janus's voice under his ear. At some point he'd curled into Janus's lap entirely.

"Come on sweetheart, up you get."

Janus's arms were pulling at him, encouraging him to drag himself to his feet. He swayed there as Janus brushed himself off, before offering a hand to Virgil. He wasn't wearing his gloves, Virgil noted as he slid his clammy hand into Janus's cool grip. Part of him cringed at that, but Janus had already held him through too many panic attacks for him to worry about it now.

"Now," he continued, guiding Virgil down the hallway. "The plan may have fallen through, but date night is hardly ruined."

Virgil snorted skeptically. "Oh?" he asked roughly.

Janus smiled coolly back at him. "We will have a self care date. We are going to do girl dinner, you know how I love that, and don't think I haven't noticed your nail polish has been chipped to the quick." He drew the hand still clasped with his up to press a gentle kiss against Virgil's knuckles. Virgil failed to restrain the flush that stained his cheeks. Janus continued, "And we both know you love listening to the storm from the comfort of our bedroom, rather than being out in it."

"Fuck rain," Virgil agreed. He could feel some energy returning at the prospect of a quiet night in. He honestly preferred that to being out in public, but this date had been for Janus. He'd wanted it to be perfect. Turns out he couldn't do anything right.

"Tut tut," Janus tapped Virgil's chin, coaxing Virgil to stop hunching in on himself. "Your date can wait for a more opportune day. Sometimes you just have to loosen your corset and fill your wine glass." Janus gave him a wry look. "With chocolate milk, you heathen."

"Damn right," Virgil said.

"Perhaps I'll even get more than two words out of you if I play my cards right," Janus hummed.

Virgil couldn't help the grin. "Doubt it."

Janus's laugh was warm. "Perhaps I'll just settle for one. I do so love hearing you say my name," he purred.

Ugh! Virgil just couldn't win! Still, he mused as Janus helped him sit on the counter before turning to rummage through the fridge, it wasn't the worst way to spend an evening. Though next time Virgil was just going to take Janus to a Denny's and be done with it.