#ameliaposting

OCD being "the clean disorder" in pop culture is so stupid and disconnected from the actual disorder it's insane. In middle school, I was constantly worried that other people could smell my crotch and I didn't know it. This led me to smelling my own underwear as a compulsion. And then THAT led me to worrying that I was a disgusting pervert who is attracted to people I shouldn't be.

My OCD also motivates my skin and scab picking. At one point, I developed cellulitis due to the cycle of healing and picking I put a wound through, and had to go on antibiotics for a week.

I struggle with thoughts of being single-handedly responsible for the state of environment, leading me to struggle with throwing out clutter.