And not to mention that there is this certain sentence i get sometimes which is ā u dont hate me now dont u?ā After saying a very messed up thing, n i would say sth like ā noo we are all good, also i cant blame u cuz this n thatā cuz im scared that this could make em feel bad n i just want ppl around me to feel all good but um, also itās as if their problems are the ones that keep us together, and it is as if their problems will only be solved by me.
i have always thought that im a best friend of others but they are not to me, also i feel like im being used to much and it is draining, but im not a bad person who just leaves ppl cuz they are telling em their problems but i think that im affected by others problems and negative energy and my relationship with em be like ā i feel bad for this personā instead of ā i wanna be with this person cuz i love to be with this personā
My co-worker also mentioned that she can tell that im affected in a way by just looking at me and i should back off a lil, she also mentioned that i sometimes become a sponge that absorbs ppls emotions
Also i dont ever mention my problems, or family issues, not cuz of anything but cuz i dont want to give such problems power into my life, if i get into some sort of problem i fix em quietly cuz i hate to let anyone know that ā i failedā or that āim miserableā i dont vent cuz i hate im giving others so much trouble by venting, i guess thats why other vent to me while l dont? Cuz i feel that their emotions are affecting me when they vent so i dont vent so that they wont feel that way?
