#allows

i think knowing what you enjoy doing can be important but i've also learnt a lot that passions or the things you like don't necessarily need to be the basis of whatever job (or jobs) you pursue -- when i was younger and wanted to be a journalist one of the most important things i was told was simply "don't study journalism": how to write an article or edit an interview wasn't necessarily something that needed to be taught to you; what mattered a lot more was having something important to you that you could write that article about or focus that interview on (or how to give a good interview which really is just down to learning how to be with people which you absolutely don’t need a degree for), and these things happened outside of a journalism degree. i think i tend to take the same approach now with how i look at the things that interest me most for the future: i love literature and i always will, but if i think about pursuing a degree or a “career” at some point, i don't know anymore if i would do so for literature. sometimes it helps a bit more to ask yourself not just what you like doing, but what matters to you in terms of your values: do i want something with a lot of social interaction? why? do i want flexibility or stability? why? what do i care about in my own life, in my community, in what i give to others? how do i want to contribute that, and how i can i contribute to that? what am i curious about, what are the things i want most to improve on or get better at, and how can i go about this? and then finding what aligns with this or will allow you to begin answering those questions by giving you the experience you need. to me, other things answered those questions far more pertinently than literature, even though literature is one of the most profoundly important things to me.

if you’re not sure of what your values are or how to answer any of these then i think the next best thing to do is to immerse yourself in situations that will allow you to learn what these are by teaching you more about yourself as you navigate them. i’m speaking from my own experiences here so they may not be relevant to yours and if not that is okay, but i think it may help you to take advantage of the time you will have when not enrolled in higher ed to explore various avenues you have not been exposed to so far, not necessarily with the idea of “this will be my career” (because i think this puts too much pressure on you, especially if it becomes an experience you realise you don’t enjoy), but more “this is what i’m going to learn through right now”. we’re all expected to know what we want off the bat, but this very, very rarely happens, and i think that’s chiefly down to the fact that you have to let life happen to you first: even the worst or most profoundly boring job will teach you something. if you’ve lived the first 18 years of your life in an incredibly structured environment with relatively little room for you to navigate your own desires and interrogate and develop your own values and aspirations beyond that setting, then of course there is going to be whole landscapes to yourself, and the world, that you haven’t had the chance to consider yet. i think the most beneficial thing you can do for yourself in order to get some clarity on where you want to go is to let yourself explore this as much as you can, and not just in terms of work; i say this a lot but i do genuinely believe that if there are any local organisations or volunteer groups near you with a cause you’re passionate about or want to learn more about then you should absolutely volunteer if you are able to, in whatever way is most feasible. the more people you interact with -- the more varied the people you interact with -- the more your understanding grows in that life is endless in its variations and experiences and there is no right path or wrong path. it will also show you the meaning of community, compassion, and organisation on a level that matters more because you are experiencing the impact of it, and your own actions, directly.

in general i really do think there are a whole range of things that will be available to you, it will just depend on what skills you want explore and / or improve and also what values you want to prioritize and work with and expand at a given time. but i think it’s really important to remember that it won’t necessarily be a fixed thing, nor does it need to be: circumstances change, interests change, values change - you change, over and over again, endlessly. five years ago i thought the only thing i would ever want to work with was literature; now i know better, and what draws me most has hardly anything to do with literature nor is it what i ever would have imagined for myself back at 19. but it is, however far more honest and true to me as a person and what means most to me. and in a way and by extension, it has also become profoundly true for what i hold literature to mean, if this makes sense? again, i can only speak from my experiences and how you go about this will obviously depend on your own circumstances, where you are, what you have access to and various other factors like financial and personal freedom. i think it’s also worth remembering, though, that higher ed is not limited to college -- there are so many courses and diplomas you can do within a far more informal, or at the very least infinitely less stressful environment, and without the full-time commitment of a four year degree. i’m not saying you need to apply to these immediately, or even at all, but they are there for you if, at whatever point you find yourself in the future, they are something you feel ready for at that current point in your life.