#aj squared

Have you seen my boogers?

Good Omens: Crowley, Aziraphale, Anathema, Tracy, Newt, misc characters 8 chapters; 36,449 words. ~ Goth beekeeper Crowley starts a new life in the countryside, in a suitably gothic house, with suitably goth furniture, tombstones, and bees. One day Crowley finds a surprise singing to the bees. And Crowley's suitably goth life changes. ~ Warning: illustrated, food/alcohol, insects, (brief!) violent hypotheticals/suicide/murder mentions, (past!) death/injury, unintentional misgendering, harassment/nonconsensual touch/removed sunglasses, plant yelling, implied physical intimacy (non-graphic/fade-to-black), slightly confusing dialogue format

Good Omens: Anathema, Crowley, Aziraphale, Newt, Tracy/Margie, Shadwell, Agnes (mentioned) 2 chapters; 12,400 words. ~ Anathema needs assistance with a ritual. Specifically, she needs a demon's explicit assistance. The instructions are very clear. With pictures, even. She does know one demon, kind of. She's not sure if he'll go for it. But it's worth asking, if there's a chance of keeping everyone safe from divine and/or infernal retribution. Isn't it? ~ Warning: nsfw, food, brief alcohol mention, (brief!) mention of flaying/human sacrifice/smoking, some slurs (hoor/whore, hag), metaphysical injury/burns,

Good Omens: Crowley, Aziraphale, Anathema, Tracy, Sandalphon, Beez, Newt, Hastur, Ligur, Uriel, Dagon, Michael, Gabriel, misc characters 12 chapters; 43,684 words. ~ Anthony J. Crowley, owner of a failing joke-shop, and Aziraphale, bookshop proprietor with an overbearing family, meet as contestants on a blind dating show. They form an instant connection as roommates but soon find themselves at odds as they compete to win the top spot, and the favor of the same lady. ~ Warming: (easily skippable) nsfw, illustrated, food/alcohol, unpleasant metaphors, mentioned abandonment/sexual harassment/animal excrement/urine, abusive/toxic family, manipulative behavior, exceedingly awkward situation, past death mentions, body thoughts/shame, brief violence, fire/arson, brief dream/mention plant harassment, jokes about (potential) prostitution

Good Omens: Anathema Device, Crowley, Aziraphale, Ashley 4+ works; 22+ chapters; 38,306+ words ~ Anathema swirled her drink in her glass. “Then what?” “Er, then… I don’t know. I didn’t see him again until the Great Flood.” “Well, when did you start, y’know…” Anathema waggled her eyebrows. Crowley flustered. “Mind your own business, witch.” “Hey, you’re the one that agreed to talk to me about all this stuff. You can’t be mad that I’m asking questions.” ~ Warning: (heavy/consistent) alcohol use, food, discussion of death/loss, discussion or mortality versus immortality, fights, breakups, minor cisnormativity (a character is a little rude), some minor descriptions of violence, (mentions of) car crashes, death mentions, abduction/hostage situation, nightmare mentions

Good Omens: Crowley, Anathema, Aziraphale, misc characters Single chapter; 4,393 words. ~ While stuck in a holding pattern after the world doesn't end, Crowley gets a tarot reading to tell him things he already knows. ~ Warning: embedded images (weapons and blindfolds), footnotes,

Good Omens: Aziraphale, Crowley, Anathema, Newt, Aaron (Gabriel), Beelzebub, Adam Young, misc characters 14 chapters; 70,595 words. ~ When the Biology and English departments are forced to share a building, Senior Lecturer and botanist Anthony Crowley finds himself drawn into the orbit of the polite but strange English professor, Dr. Aziraphale Fell. As the new term begins, two academics navigate the politics of both their offices and academia, and try to solve the puzzle of one another. ~ Warning: nsfw, (brief!) mention of nazis, alcohol, sabotage, smoking (weed & tobacco), unsupportive family and related issues, funeral/death mention, fire, ~ Sequel available “Pretend to be Nice”

Good Omens: Crowley, Aziraphale, Anathema Single chapter; 11,324 words. ~ Post-Apocalyptic AU. Even without the Antichrist, both Heaven and Hell insist on Armageddon. Aziraphale is missing and Crowley sets out to find him, driving through a scorched Earth with a witch in his passenger seat. ~ Warning: (brief! non-graphic) nsfw, alcohol mention, captivity, wartime, bodily injury, horror movies, true forms,