EMERGENCY; I'VE HIT MY LIMIT
My back is up against the wall like never before. I just had to spend two full days and nights living in my car. While I was able to spend daytime hours at various locations like McDonald's and Dunkin (the Library being closed, so it wasn't an option), the nights were pure hell. No sleep from being crammed into the driver seat because my car holds all my worldly possessions.
I ended up so badly dehydrated that I've finally only been able to urinate in the last 15 hours; fear of not having overnight access to a restroom kept me from drinking enough fluids to function properly. My AFIB was triggered, making my heart race badly and pushing me to the edge of passing out from light-headedness. That happened when I was turning in redeemable bottles for the deposit money to buy food; I literally laid down on a bench waiting for it to pass, when the grocery store manager got an ambulance and I spent eight hours in the ER. When all my vitals returned to normal (and having gone that whole time without fluids of any kind until I asked for water at hour six), they released me to go "home" to my car. Two hoours later, my heart was back to racing again. After a single night in a room (last night), I'm just starting to recover, though my legs still ache very badly. I have no place to turn to as my short-term disability payments still haven't been approved. In two days, with temperatures in the 90's F, I'll be back in my car.
It's like a slow death, and if I could be unconscious throughout it, I'd choose that, but my body won't allow me to sleep. At this point, I'm begging for a single night at a motel at a time. $70 gets me that, even though the weekly rate is cheaper ($56/night). For the first time in this journey, I am out of both strength and hope. I never conceived of sinking this low. I have less than 48 hours to raise funds for the next night. I don't want to live through this again.
Become a supporter of sobeautifullyobsessed today!
