#adopteeblog

Hello beautiful people! I have missed you all immensely. Life happened. 2020 happened. It was alot of things! I have so much to tell you all but do not want to bombard you all! So here is a bullet point list. If you want me to go into details... I def. do not mind. 

1. I did a DNA test for B. B is Tee’s (my older half sister. We dont do half and whole but for the purpose of keeping the story straight...) B. has always thought that I was his daughter because I look exactly like his son Roddy which I do. The DNA test confirms that I am not his biological daughter. I know for fact that he was sad. I told him that things do not have to change. It made me wonder about my birth father more. 

2. My adoptive mom ( my momma) told me that she doesn't think my adoption was a closed adoption. She believes that it was initially open. I was like omg what? So I am going to go to social services to see what I need to do to get my original information!

3. My birth mother and I are still speaking. She is nice! 

3. I am working a hospital now. I am stationed at the ED ( emergency department). I was working at my desk when I heard somebody talking to me. Come to found out it was my biological father T. I don't think he knew who he was speaking to at the time... because of the mask. He was so excited to see me. He wanted to chat but because I was at work I couldnt really have a conversation with him. I decided to talk with him because he seems like an ok person. He is really sick. He will probable be in and out of the hospital. He asked if he could come see me and instead of saying no like I wanted to...I said maybe we can arrange something. I will definitely do another post on this topic.

I have two younger siblings. My parents was able to have to children naturally after legally adopting my twin brother and I.

My little sister M. says that her and my twin look alike and that people know that that’s her brother. They both have the same complexion but they don't look alike. I was about to say no ya’ll don’t but I didn’t. It’s almost like fighting a losing battle. Then I really thought about her statement. My younger siblings have their own perspective on me and A.’s adoption.  We are the only siblings they have ever known and what’s natural to them is saying that we “look” alike because siblings tend to have familiar features. So when I pull out the honesty card and say things like “ We don't look alike” or “ We have different genetics and that’s why our hair is different”  means that I am taking what’s natural to here and balling it up and throwing it in her face and she doesn’t like that. Neither one of them do.

However when I experienced that the hard way...when I found out that what I thought was natural wasn’t...was the shock of my life. As adoptees we are expected to “get over it” to “ deal with it” and it doesn't work like that. I am at a place know where I have to accept the fact that I have to be a different me in different spaces to get by and that’s another concept of balancing.