No like I am addicted to being online and getting notifications
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No like I am addicted to being online and getting notifications

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I’m feeling like I wanna fucking sh00t myself, misery it’s a black hole and my brain needs to shut off.
fuck it.
I still talk to my gummy boys. If I gave a shit about my own emotional stability, I wouldn't. But here I am, it's almost 10:30 and I'm saying things like "we should hang out" and "when my car is running, I'll take you for birthday shots." I'm an idiot. Honestly, I need to move on.
Jonesing Blues
I had a dream where you tied me up. You stuck me with your needles, Dirty from the dope, My thighs and stomach and arms strung up, bleeding like Christ taking the pain for your sins, The holes in my body growing like a cancer, I ooze the destruction of a user. I get down but I don't know how, I get down but you are not there. I get down but I don't know my torturer anymore. I can still feel your needles in my skin when You appear at my front door and I open it to you, And before I awake I am kissing your forehead, Stealing your fault of jonesing and junkie. I awake I can still feel your needles in my skin, And I realize this was not a dream.

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My brothers an imbecile. I swear to god he always puts me in the worst positions with his actions and then I have to swoop in and play mediator. He's 18. He should know better.
Craving NO2, idk why, its been forever.. I wish Marquette was more hooked up sometimes. Regardless, I think it would be nice to do a couple hundred whippits with some some opiate and speed action. And you can't forget that NMDA receptor either. That curves everything, or takes it into a new world I think. I don't even know why, but I am definitely wanting some stuff I can't get rn :(
Lucy+K+Molly+Cathy+Girl+Boy+cancer sticks+xans for the end. Idk. Im just sad cause I miss the psychadelic experiences I had where I left my body through my mouth. I miss picking up fragments of reality and piecing together existence in a different light. I miss fiending, the adrenaline of more. The comfort in being sad. The problem with hard drugs is when your on them, they become the only thing you think about. It is hard to choose life when there are chemicals that make me feel how I want to, when I want to.
Sucks.. Addict problems..
I'm supposed to be making this flyer but I can't stop tumbling. This is becoming a problem.