#ada bsd

But what captivated you were his narrow, dark brown eyes. To your embarassment, it was a second too long when you get lost in his gaze until a hot drop of coffee brought you back to reality, making you curse under your mouth.

You ignored his gaze until you reached the entrance, realizing that you couldn't get in without a badge. Only then did you look up at Dazai, who was already smiling slightly at you, still leaning against the wall.”

“You're a little late, Miss [Name]."

He chuckled, turning in a whole different vibe when he saw you gesture agitatedly with your hands, realizing he is the one who'll show you the way around as the email for Mrs. Fuzukawa informed with little details.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know! I would have said hello or at least introduced myself or..."

Dazai took his hand out of his long, sand-colored trench coat, scratching the back of his head a little and smiling at you with his eyes closed.

"Haha, don't worry! I was joking. Not a fan of going to work so early in the morning."

Dazai faked a yawn as he put the badge on the door for you to enter, walking behind you.

The elevator ride felt like it took longer than it actually did. Something about his behavior made you uneasy. His childish attitude was a contrast to the moments when he wasn't talking. Even now you could feel his presence behind you, feeling his gaze on you, but you didn't dare look back. You felt your palms sweating, trying to wipe them subtly, but without success.

Dazai could tell that you were a little timid, a little nervous. However, he still didn't realize other things.

He opened the door for you to enter the office, and you felt like sinking into the ground, given how many people were staring at you.

A boy with interesting eyes, with purple irises and a yellow curve along the bottom of the pupil, was the first to notice you, coming over to shake your hand.

"Hello! I'm Atsushi. Aa—your colleague, I think!”

As you tried to respond, the man you had interviewed with, named Fuzukawa, the only familiar face, spoke behind you, startling you in the process.

"She's not necessarily your colleague, Atsushi. She'll be working more with Osamu."

You didn't know who Osamu was yet, but you guessed you would find out.

Although he was still behind you.

Fuzakawa turned to you. “Hello, Miss Y/N. We're glad to meet you as a new member." He made room for you to follow him. “Here, come after me. Later, I'll show you your new office here."

He always has been so formal with you…but you get used to it.

── ⋆⋅

Your first day here already seemed difficult.

Especially when you found out who Osamu really was and that he was your new colleague.

You and Dazai started off on the wrong foot as partners.

After a while, you start getting comfortable and had an input of how they are.

How the first boy you met, Atushi it’s a ray of sunshine, even if he doesn’t trust himself enough, having a rainy cloud on his head when he struggle with his past. The childish, lazy Ranpo, but serious, trustworthy based on his inteligent and caring when needed. The too formal Kunikida that portrayed himself as a boomer sometimes, but with a strongly sense of justice about unfairness even if he doesn’t really like the person that much. To the more harsh personalities like Kyōka, concerning sadistic like Akiko or the Taniaki twins that weirded you out. And so on.

Even Fuzukawa is not that hard to read as a serious, capable man with a commanding aura that isn’t from a place of narcissism as he care for the wellbeing for the team.

But all this stops to Dazai.

You can’t trust your opinions on him, since he always show only what he wants. At first you were surprised at his goofy, yet suicidal tendencies that was a complet shock for you as he managed to concern you at first. But Dazai found an amusement to tease you based on your reaction.

“You were concerned about me, bella? Awww, should I be flattered?”

Still, everything you tried to understand about him was destroyed when you found about his past. Accidentally, of course.

Being his collegue, assigned to go to mission to him was an opportunity to see that terrifc feelings he carry around him when the sudden change in behaviour changes. Maybe that’s was the only reason you were so curious about him.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to look in the files of your colleague. You eyes widen on the paper in found of you.

During his time as a Mafia executive, Dazai held a record of 138 counts of conspiracy to murder, 312 counts of extortion, and 625 counts of assorted fraud, among other crimes.

Your muscle tensed, the shaken emotions forced you to breath calmy when you heard Dazai slow steps closer to your behind, too late to stop your actions.

“You need help, bella? I’ll feel bad to know my colleague work overtime.”

You gulped, giving him a short smile over your shoulder before you looked down. Your trembeling fingers managed to be placed on another files that you were before after hearing his steps.

“Thank you, Dazai. It’s nothing, just wanted to check the reports of our last mission if i made any mistakes.”

Dazai mouth twitched, with his hands in his cloak and a expression he could be perceived relaxed, but his gaze that you currently avoid was everything but intense.

His voice was pinched, almost casually.

“I'm usually the more confused one, funny that you forgot our reports were never here.”

You moved away from the drawer, putting your hand behind your head and finally standing facing him.

"Pff, what nonsense! I think I'm too tired. I stole your place this time.”

When your eyes locked, Dazai gave you a short smile until it faded. You couldn’t take your eyes for him, your legs fidget slighty so you can leave the room when his expression turned wicked, seeing the void in his eyes that swallowed your ability to escape him.

The complexity of the intensity crushed your mind. You couldn't understand if his presence affected you because it scared you or because it drew you closer like a magnet.

You closed your eyes, shivering when his fingers brushed your cheeks, as he looked at you with a false smile.

"Yes, maybe you're just tired." Your eyes widen when he grips your jaw, feeling an urge to run. "You know, I've been analyzing you lately."

Your voice betrayed you, stuttering.

“Y-yes?”

“Mhm.” Dazai looked all over your face, specifically lowering his gaze on your lips before looking in your frightened eyes. "I could say that you are an innocent and well-behaved person. Am I wrong, bella?"

You shaked you head rapidly.

He smirked, feeling his grip tightening on both of your cheeks.

"But that's not all, is it? You also like risky situations. That's so…dangerous.”

You had no choice but to pray that he would let you go. Otherwise, why else would him be on this team? It seemed like a document that not only you knew about, right? Or did very few people find out about it?

“I’m s-sorry—“

Dazai just looked at the sincerity in your eyes, analyzing whether you were just pretending to get out of it.

"Aww, but you don't have to feel sorry. Just be aware of the consequences, yes? I don't want anything to happen to you.”

His gripped flattened until his other personality striked again. A smile formed on his face, closing his eyes.

"See you tomorrow!! Get some rest, beautiful."

He winked at you, feeling a shiver down your spine at the awkwardness mixed with the whiplashing contrast of him.

It took you a few seconds to calm down before leaving the room.

── ⋆⋅

You managed to avoid Dazai afterward, though you were certain he was still monitoring you. Something told you that… you weren’t the only one who knew about him way too much.

Otherwise, how could you explain when he appeared behind you, speaking just low enough for only you to hear, with that particular smile you could feel even without seeing. Your hands froze on the laptop keyboard.

“I think the name of my ability would’ve suited yours better, don’t you agree?”

Your eyes widened, terror-struck, as he walked lazily toward his desk, smiling at you with his hands tucked into his pockets.

Fuzukawa had promised no one would ever know about your ability. It was impossible for him to have betrayed you. Why would he ever say anything—

Dazai had found out on his own.

Your pulse rose drastically, leaving you feeling so utterly exposed.

How much did he know?

Looking back, the unraveling of your family had begun long before your parents were killed before your eyes. They had always kept you away from the truth which, cliché as it was, you found out anyway—only far too late. The Port Mafia’s ties to them were anything but friendly. On the contrary, Fuzukawa’s former comrades had been cast aside by the Port boss before Mori, a man notorious for his violent, impulsive nature.

Unfortunately, that nature had spilled over onto your parents. Former members, manipulated by him, were present when they were slaughtered in your own home—not long before Fuzukawa appeared, becoming the first to witness your ability.

You hadn’t even known your parents possessed it as well. You only learned later, when Fuzukawa handed you a letter they had left behind for you, to be delivered in case of the worst.

The Settling Sun. Raising people from the dead.

The assailants collapsed to the ground, though you were unconscious of being the cause—your soul and sheer will absorbing their strength, manipulating it, and releasing it to summon the dead into revival. Depending on how powerful the original bearer had been, that determined how skilled the resurrected became. They were, however, nothing but mindless copies.

So when you fell to your knees, tears searing into your skin like tattoos, your voice trembling, your expression stricken—

“Mom? Dad?”

Fuzukawa stood to the side, equally stunned. Rarely was he moved, let alone frightened, but this power shook him considerably.

Your dead parents stared at you, waiting, as if anticipating a command. Only when you thought you wanted to embrace them did they stagger toward you like zombified dolls, forcing a scream from your throat.

“[Name], stop it! Stop your power!”

Fuzukawa tried cutting them down as they fought mindlessly.

“How! I don’t know! Please, help me, please!”

Your young emotions were too violent, your small frame curling in on itself, head pressed to your knees in desperation.

Fuzukawa blocked a vicious strike from your father, sword vertical against the other’s descending blade. He shouted over his shoulder.

“Accept their death! Feel your soul and release that power back into your mind!”

You trembled, trying to calm your shivering form by repeating it like a mantra.

Accept. Focus. Release. Accept. Focus. Release.

Silence fell. You finally raised your pained expression, finding Fuzukawa breathing heavily, staring at the fallen corpses collapsed once more on the floor.

You saw the culprits who had killed them, just before fainting. But not from grief, nor even shock. It was the consequence of your ability. Each time you used it, your consciousness wavered depending on the strain—the strength of the soul you had absorbed, the transmission of your own, and the gravity of the situation.

In your case, grave enough to leave you comatose for an entire month.

The official report was deliberately mishandled, glossing over details that might have granted sympathy for your case—instead, it made you culpable for the resurrection of the dead, even your own parents.

Illegal to disturb a grave. Illegal to even move a corpse without authorization. But revive?

You were lucky Fuzukawa had taken you under his wing when you were only fifteen. With the promise that you would join the ADA at eighteen, placed under constant supervision. Yet Fuzukawa respected your personal space. Out of respect for your parents and their wishes, shared once with other members—including Mori, back when he had a chance at being a decent man. He, too, had known who you are.

Finishing your thread of thought, connecting the dots, you realized Dazai probably knew from there. Did he still have ties with them? What did the Agency think of it? Was he a traitor?

The situation grew increasingly dangerous, making you fear the place where you stood.

But Dazai overwhelmed you even more, confusing you about where the two of you truly stood.

Impulsively, you rose and marched toward him. I don’t fucking fear a man for nothing.

I can defend myself. Protect myself.

You leaned into the open door where Dazai had a book covering his face, sprawled across his chair as if he were bored to death.

“Wanna grab a coffee with me?”

He peeked his head over the book, revealing first his goofy grin and then his full face, slowly.

“Oh? A date, bella?”

You rolled your eyes, already stepping out and calling over your shoulder.

“Are you coming or not?”

A small smirk formed on his lips before he rose to his feet, sighing heavily as though burdened with endless work.

“Anything for you, [Name].”

── ⋆⋅

Something in Dazai’s gaze, as he sat across from you at the small table in the more private café you had chosen, gave you the impression he had already premeditated this meeting—making you knit your brows at him in irritation.

His goofy smiled bewildered you as he swirl his 3 shots of expresso in his cup with a spoon of sugar. You raised your eyebrow, faigning concern.

“Isn’t that extreme? I though you drink only black coffe.”

He let a small gasp, saying an “Oh!” before adding. “You even know what type of coffe I like? I think we are meant to be.”

Your voice was sharp.

“Dazai.”

Opening his eyes, Dazai’s smile faded gradually, changing in something more troublesome. His eyes betrayed nothing.

“How much did you know?”

He let a soft breath, wavering his head dismissively.

“Probably more than you, sweetheart.”

“It wasn’t intentional, you know? Like I’m not some delinquent ready to stab you in your sleep.”

Dazai’s voice was pleading when he grabbed your hands, his eyes popped out like a kid seeing a lollipop.

“But you can do it! I reaaally don’t mind.”

Your heart throbbed, feeling his touch. You slipped your hand from his, curling your arms around your chest.

It was a confirmation for Dazai, seeing you pout in irritation that not a malice intention could be felt from you. His gaze turned a shade lower.

“How did you find about me?”

Dazai’s voice was anything but cold.

“You’re a smart woman, aren’t you? Why would you want answers you know you shouldn’t have?”

“Is this a threat?”

Dazai smiled at that. He lowered his hands on the table along with his head, almost whispering.

“You can call it courtesy, bella.”

── ⋆⋅

It was dry to go out with him for coffee. What were you expecting? Thinking maybe you’ll get something out of him, only for your head to hurt even more. You decided to remain silent, there’s no chance Dazai works that subtly, or worse, that he’d be a traitor against your paternal figure, Fuzukawa. Right?

Sitting all together after a demanding mission, more for Ranpo than for the rest, Dazai keeps talking, in his absence.

“What surprised me more than anything was that Super Deduction isn’t an ability.” He chuckled.

You furrowed your eyebrows, arranging the reports on the shared desk of your offices.

“What are you talking about? Don’t say stupid things like that. Then that was—“

“Regular deduction. He formed the conclusion in the blink of an eye based on what he knew.”

You blinked at him, processing his words.

“Don’t say this to him.”

Dazai shrugged his shoulders before Atsushi pecking his head in the door, your attention turned to him.

“H-hey! Hello…Ahm..”

Your voice was warm as his anxious nature could be seen.

“Yes, Atsushi?”

“Me and Tanizaki…Well, mostly Tanizaki proposed to celebrate these past missions…at Ranpo’s house later.”

You raise your eyebrows, surprised and Dazai spoke first.

“For free?”

Atsushi furrowed his expression in annoyance.

“Of course not!”

Dazai chuckled, before leaning on his chair more relaxed. As you looked at him, he return his gaze on you, like he waited for a response and you felt your stomach curl for an unknown reasons.

“We will come.”

You smile to Atsushi before he exit the door. After that, you let put a soft breath.

“I really need a drink since i work with you.”

You murmur mostly for you, still Dazai smirked as he watched you, putting you in place when you dare to look at him.

Something about him is hard to stay away.

── ⋆⋅

After a few glasses so that you were a bit dizzy, you sat somewhere near a tense Kunikida, nudging him lightly in the shoulder. He widened his eyes, looking at the gesture.

“Loosen up a bit. Life is not that serious every damn time.”

He huffed, murmuring.

“I don’t know what to say about it.”

Right on time, Tanizaki who laughed with redded cheecks along with Atsushi for like all night, spoke a little slurry.

“How about a drink game?”

Kunikida’s voice was sharp, accusing.

“You’re are already drunk and want to play a drink game?! Are you that irresponsible?”

You forced yourself to don’t laugh, unconsciously looked at a relaxed Dazai, who sat on the floor, leaning on his hands. He felt your gaze, giving you a small smile before you avoided his.

The hint of your jumping heart was annoyed, probably is just the alcohol. You hate that man’s guts too much to see him in a different way.

Naomi’s raised voice was amused, directed at Atsushi.

“No way, you didn’t play at all 7 minutes in Heaven? Like ever?”

Atsushi blushed. Naomi was kinda mean, didn’t think twice that maybe he didn’t had the occasion to play in an orphanage. He is barely 18 years old. So maybe it was the alcohol mixed with the compassion for Atsushi’s childhood, you decided to speak about this game. You don’t like it, doesn’t seem like a good idea. Maybe it cringed you a little.

“Let’s play, then.”

Looking around the room, you realized they were pretty young. Even Dazai. Despite their ruthless childhood, just like yours. It’s disturbing how sometimes people forget to live their age.

Atsushi widened his eyes, but a glint of appreciation was shown in his eyes.

Lucky for you, spinning the bottle was safe until now. Your cheeks hurt for laughing after an embarrassed Ranpo made Akiko’s head hurt for speaking for 7 minutes straight about how fascinating is the Euler’s identity, and why the mathematics theorem is named the most beautiful one. Making her to give him a small peck only to stop him speaking.

Even Atsushi had his glorious time when he was visibly agitated and shy (as you imagine it), but Akiko as cold as she is, calmed him with a peck only his cheek. Making him brush his fingers over the spot until he kneel down between the members.

Well, that’s what they said. Usually, you and the person you’re grouped with must go into a small room (in this case, Ranpo’s father’s wine cellar).

Unfortunately, Naomi didn’t have any chance this game yet, still she laughed when Tanizaki was forced to go in the room with Kunikida. They fight like…all the time. Even if the small room didn’t really could give you what they talk exactly, they raised their voice so much it was impossible.

But the fun ended here.

Gulping from your drunk, you almost spill it out when the bottle fixed on you and…Dazai. His gaze turned troublesome, smiling irritably for you.

“Finally, some time alone with bella.”

You roll your eyes, even if your cheeks hurt blush afterwards as you walked annoyed in the room first, Dazai walking slowly behind you until the door closed.

The others who remained looked at the door, Atsushi giving a glance at Tanizaki who was like “I feel sorry for her.”

Meanwhile you had thrown a glance around at multiple wine bottles, the dim light barely making anything visible.

“Wow, but everybody has money in this agency?”

Turning, Dazai was already a bit too close to you. Your eyes widened.

“You’re way too close.”

“How shocking.”

His teasing whispering voice was messing with your head, along with his amused, yet void eyes.

“And you’re so irritating.”

“Am I?”

Accidentally, your eyes lowered on his lips before you see his smirk, making your blush deepening, avoiding his gaze. The intoxication didn’t come from the poisonous drink, no. It came also from him. You hated how much you gave him after everything, that much was carefully restrained from the first time you saw him leaning on that stupid wall, dragging from that cigarette with the same demeanour like right this moment.

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

He raised his eyebrows, faking innocence.

“Oh? And why do you think I want something from you?” Your breath stopped when he leaned, closer to your ear “You think you are so important, bella? That I bother that much with you?”

His mockery tone wasn’t so subtle, even if his voice seemed neutral.

You whispered, feeling a pang of hurt at his words.

“Fuck you, Dazai.”

His fingers brushed your cheeks, your knees buckled in response. Your body really don’t cooperate with the angry face you gave him.

Especially when he spoke again against your lips.

“You really are a smart woman, bella. Since I reaally want something from you.”

Your eyes widen at his words mixed with his actions. So he just wanted to belittle me before saying some shits like that?

Still, your thoughts finish when his lips pressed onto yours. You gasp, making Dazai smiled at your reaction when he catched slowly your lower lip before his teeth.

You almost jumped at Ranpo’s raising voice.

“Time’s up! Come on, now.”

Dazai chuckled, looking down at you before his thumb dragged down your lower lip and rested a little on your cheek before he turned his back, exiting the room and starting whistling some sounds while walking like nothing happened here.

You wanted to break some fucking things at that, barely containing your punch since the wines around looked expensive. That asshole wanted to play with me.

── ⋆⋅

The floating line came with vast waves that carried you to the shore, once again into the arms of that morbid curiosity regarding the person who intruded not only upon your personal space at the office, but now also upon your life itself.

It was indisputable that yes, a part of you—though it sensed reluctance and the instinct for survival urging you to avoid circumstances in which your presence would have been ill-advised—still harbored attraction.

Dazai had a poisoned, charming beauty. Despite his hollow, narrow eyes that displayed merely a superficial surface of rudimentary human emotions, it was that very gaze that dissected you down to the marrow of your bones, stripping you at times even of your garments, leaving you exposed. Dazai, although revealing his interest only in detached gestures of affection—such as that brief kiss which, irritatingly, that you still felt lingering on your lips—was, in private, undeniably drawn to you too.

Beyond his peculiar way of existing and his incessant need to grasp countless details about the external world, which he had failed to find meaning since Oda, his lifelong comrade, leaving him — Dazai, avoidant by nature, was not inclined to delve too deeply into his inner world, lest it should translate into weakness.

Of course, he had his ideals, participating in his grandest ambition, yet those were not matters that rendered him stagnant.

Whereas the attraction he felt for you, a person who had been consumed by darkness and yet possessed an indomitable nature, was far from irrelevant to him.

Well, perhaps it was not only your personality that compelled him. Perhaps also those lips, so easily bitten, or that body whose form could not be concealed no matter the attire, which he found nothing short of sexy as hell.

In short, he would not hesitate to fuck you if you yielded. And that was precisely what he desired.

Your interactions were becoming increasingly strained. And everything began to collapse when Fyodor Dostoyevsky appeared in the foreground.

You had just learned of the attempted murder of Mori, the boss of the Port Mafia, from Fuzukawa, who seemed slightly shaken by the events.

While you silently recited your mental plan, loading the bullets into your pistol and slipping them into the subtle pockets of your black cloak, Dazai appeared in your office.

You cast him a disinterested glance over your shoulder, unwilling to offer him the satisfaction of knowing you were affected by what had occurred at Ranpo’s house.

“Can I help you with something, Dazai?”

He exhaled a faint huff, closing his eyes before speaking in his affable tone.

“And here I thought we were finally getting along better, [Name].”

You didn’t reply, though you could feel his gaze burning into your back, tightening your muscles.

“I need you to help me with something.”

That made your body stiffen. Help Dazai with something? What game was this? Although the truth was far from what you were inclined to believe, Dazai did consider you capable—and trustworthy—enough.

He shifted the chair aside, gesturing for you to sit, and you complied reluctantly, your eyes fixed on him as he sat across from you, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

“No one in the Agency knows about this, so I’d prefer it remain that way. Can I trust you, bella?”

You furrowed your brows. Even if your heart began to palpitate again in his presence, you didn’t buy into it.

“Tell me.”

He lingered one moment too long in silence before speaking.

“It’s about a book I need you to gather information on.”

“A book?”

Dazai nodded, his expression grave.

“A book desired by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.”

Your eyes widened, though you didn’t dare to ask more just yet.

“It’s… let’s say, a supernatural book, as far as I know. A novel with entirely blank pages, where anything inscribed within becomes reality.”

A pause.

“It is essential to understand why he seeks it, since there exists only a single copy in the entire world.”

Processing his words, you couldn’t restrain the question.

“Why me, Dazai?”

Dazai’s mouth twitched, sending a terrible chill through you.

“Because I trust you to extract this information from the man. Your charm is sufficient for someone like him. Especially since he seems like another version of… me.” Dazai’s eyes glimmered with…appreciation?

You didn’t respond to his subtle praise. You merely gave him a nod after a silence drawn one minute too long.

── ⋆⋅

Dazai was troubled by the emotions stirring within him, an unsettling feeling that struck when he heard you had been shot.

Fyodor adjusted his garments, glancing at his white hat before brushing off some nonexistent dust, speaking with his back still turned to you.

“To whom do I owe the pleasure?”

He turned around, seeing you standing at the center of the room. Fyodor examined your figure in a swift sizing-up before his gaze focused on the determination burning in your eyes.

“Entirely irrelevant to indulge your curiosity.”

He raised his brow lightly, leaning against the table with his back

“Oh? No offense taken, lady. But—”

Cutting him off, Fyodor felt a sudden impulse to kill you on the spot. You hurled his hat at him, and he caught it deftly.

“Tell me the identity of the poison afflicting my director.”

Fyodor immediately assumed your director was more than a mere superior. His gaze turned bored.

“And why should I trouble myself with someone so irrelevant, as you’ve said?”

Unconsciously, his words echoed those of someone else.

“Striving to obtain that sealed book to annihilate Yokohama’s ability users—it’s a bit complicated to achieve without killing both the Agency’s and the Mafia’s leaders, isn’t it? You rats.”

Fyodor struggled to fathom what kind of foolishness could make you speak so, unless you were not as irrelevant as you pretended to be.

His steps grew slower, thickening the atmosphere. Your heart pounded, yet you revealed nothing.

“What makes you believe you know anything of what I intend to achieve?”

So Dazai had been right. You hadn’t deduced it at first, but after he explained his line of reasoning, it made perfect sense.

“Because I know all too well a man intelligent enough to attempt the very same thing.”

Disgust twisted within you as your tongue shaped words of appreciation for Dazai, but you succeeded in sparking Fyodor’s interest, however faintly accelerated.

“And you want me to believe you know who I am, to dare to correlate me with this mysterious individual?”

You held his intense gaze, letting silence weigh heavy before you spoke. Feeling the need to confront both the arrogance of this enigmatic man and the secret veiled within your presence. Perhaps you would be of use in his schemes to come.

“Very well. The poison I gave him ensures mutual destruction. I won’t personally eradicate the two organizations, you shall destroy yourselves.”

You caught only part of his explanation about the poison, for the bullet that pierced through you—avoiding vital points, yet fired by a sniper—had already cast you to the ground.

Dazai had predicted you might become a danger, which was why he monitored the interaction, seeking first to observe the man ahead, to grasp at least a fragment of Fyodor’s nature. But he crushed the sniper far too late.

Fyodor only noticed Dazai at the end, smiling at him with the same intensity, before speaking to you.

“I’d use that book to craft a world free from the sin of ability users. It will be the promised land.”

Both Kunikida’s and Atsushi’s voices broke the air, diverting his attention before he vanished.

“[Name], where are you?”

Oh, fuck. You had forgotten they weren’t meant to know what you had done to aid Dazai. But your bleeding organs didn’t care enough to lift you from the ground, as slipping consciousness began to fade. You didn’t realize you were lifted from the floor, nor by whom.

── ⋆⋅

At the present moment, Dazai had been reflecting for far too long at the window upon Fyodor’s plan, managing to explain, in his own way, why you had ended up shot and what you had been doing there. Regretting that he should have remained one step ahead of the enemy, something that was hard for him to accept — to regret the existence of collateral victims.

At your first pained grunt, as your eyes opened against the searing light of the hospital room— Dazai turned his head instantly, approaching you. His eyes were the first thing you saw clearly, and you didn’t know whether it was hallucination brought by morphine from the operation, or whether he truly was… relieved that you were alive.

He didn’t crack a joke, as you would have expected. He only looked into your accusing eyes before gently grasping your hand.

“I’m sorry, bella. I promise it wasn’t intentional, and I hadn’t thought it through to the very end, that it would come to this.”

Your voice was hoarse, coughing a little, making Dazai squeeze your hand tighter.

“And what worth do your words have, Dazai?”

You were among the few who could read him, if only slightly, pressing him to the wall whenever the chance arose.

“My plan was dangerous, given Fyodor’s abilities and presence. That is why I was there. I knew he might attempt something, but I trusted you could hold him off for the moment, until I intervened.”

You scoffed, averting your eyes from him and slipping your hand free.

“And apparently, I didn’t hold him off.”

Dazai shook his head, drawing your gaze back to him.

“No. It was the failure of my plan. You were impeccable.”

He rose from his chair, maintaining a seriousness and sincerity that were unusual for Dazai. Especially when he leaned down to place a soft, fleeting kiss upon your temple before leaving, never once looking back.

You breathed heavily, staring at the ceiling as you felt the complications in your heart. Yet still, others had it worse than you. And that was about to unfold far sooner than you wished.

── ⋆⋅

Still, that was the best you got. After that, Dazai remained the same arrogant, ridiculous man. A menace.

“Bellaaa! I want to play something.”

Dazai invaded your office the following weeks, pressing his hands together while smiling with his eyes closed.

“No.”

You walked past him with a stern gaze.

“What?!” His eyes widened as he spun his body dramatically. “You don’t even know what it is yet!” Dazai whined at the injustice.

“Knowing you, it’s probably something I shouldn’t know.”

He chuckled, trailing after you.

“And that’s exactly why you should do it! Which means it’ll be fun.”

You tilted your head briefly toward him, sending him a sharp glare.

“Or deathly.”

His smile broadened as he pointed a finger skyward.

“Precisely!”

You rolled your eyes, pouring some coffee from the machine.

He leaned on the counter, watching you with pleading eyes as you made one for him as well, his expression brightening in surprise. Still, you detachedly returned to the pile of papers in front of you, since he had been far too preoccupied all week to acknowledge them.

“Sooo?” He followed you again, standing behind your chair with a pouty expression.

“Say it already.”

As he sipped from the plain black cup, he hummed softly at the taste before speaking.

“So, I was researching your ability…”

Your eyes widened; you immediately pressed your hand over his mouth. His eyes gleamed mischievously when your face came so close, even as you hissed at him.

“Dazai, shut the fuck up!”

He chuckled when your hand finally dropped.

“Is there a possibility you can revive objects as well?”

You raised a brow.

“Objects?”

“Yes. Any object you want…by pouring a fragment of your soul into it after absorbing someone’s power, empowering it as you do with people.”

“I don’t think so—“

Dazai cut you off with a challenging smile.

“But have you tried?”

“Dazai, what is the point of this? And how could I even test it, when people aren’t supposed to know about my power, let alone willingly allow me to absorb them—”

“Me. I volunteer.”

You instinctively put distance between you and him. His presence pulled you in too strongly. Shaking your head, you replied.

“No.”

“Buuuut why? I trust you, bella! You wouldn’t hurt me intentionally unless I annoyed you that badly, right?” He dragged your chair closer to him. Your irritation flared.

“Dazai, I don’t find it amusing to indulge your suicidal tendencies, especially not by my hand. And I don’t want you to be—” His grin widened, anticipating your next words, so you changed them. “Still, if you insist, I’ll make sure you end up a dead man by my hands.”

He whispered, amused.

“Kinky.”

Your hands covered your face in exasperation. Dazai gently pulled them away, and you froze until your body betrayed you—melting under his touch, exactly as he wanted. He adored the contrast: your annoyed, furious expression against a body that surrendered so easily to him. Only your mind was still resisting.

“It’s about the book.” When you didn’t respond, he continued. “From what we know, it’s a sealed book. Perhaps the sealing power was inflicted from another timeline, before you were even born. It’s not an impossible deduction. It doesn’t hurt to test it.”

Dazai looked at you, faintly amused that he had become the type to explain his logic before acting. Maybe it was guilt from last time? He couldn’t quite place why he hadn’t managed to manipulate you as easily as usual.

“But it will hurt.”

He whispered, squeezing your hand as he leaned closer.

“I’ve had worse. I trust you, bella.”

You searched his eyes for anything that might stop you from attempting this.

“We’ll start with smaller objects first.” He smiled, thrilled. “Stop when I say.” He nodded eagerly, agreeing to everything you said. “And start only when I want.”

“Mhm, mhm!” He leapt from the chair, nearly vanishing from the room, but not before kissing your cheek. “Muah!”

He disappeared through the door, leaving you to watch him like an overexcited child who’d just been allowed an hour of play outside. Except this “play” involved consuming his power and hurting him.

You pressed your palm to your face, questioning your life choices.

── ⋆⋅

While you stood in the abandoned building, the same place where Atsushi had first transformed into a tiger, you paced restlessly back and forth. It was already the third time Dazai had nullified your ability. You had been trying to revive a broken vase, one you’d shattered as a child. It still lay in your old home, hidden beneath the bed. That evening, you had been terrified, confessing to your mother that you had broken her favorite vase.

“I can’t fucking absorb your ability’s energy!”

Dazai scratched his chin, contemplating in front of an empty wooden box.

“Hm. Perhaps I didn’t think this through.” It only took a fraction of a second before his infuriatingly sharp deductions surfaced.

“But what if we touch at the same time? It could create a synchronization and…the stronger one wins.”

He winked at you, and you felt your eye twitch.

“I don’t need willpower. But you do, don’t you?” Dazai stepped closer with deliberate ease. “If your adverse effects are linked to the strength of the absorbed ability, the depth of your will, and the raw power of your own ability…Would you truly be affected?”

Your brows furrowed in irritation.

“This was supposed to affect you, not me.”

He smiled, placing a hand on your shoulder and leaning his head in, one leg casually set back.

“But I never said there weren’t risks for both of us, bella. I only said I’d like to experience them.”

I don’t want to die like this.

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Who knows….maybe your ability is stronger than mine. After all, the name of my ability should have been yours as i said.”

Dazai caught the fear in your eyes, maybe that’s why he attempted to reassure you in his own way. Persuasive, yes, but more than that… it convinced you because he didn’t seem entirely indifferent if you died because of him.

“How should we touch each other?”

Your cheeks flushed the moment you voiced it, making Dazai chuckle. His voice dipped, smooth and suggestive.

“In any way you want, [Name].”

You scoffed, pulling away. There was no point hiding your face now since he had already seen your flustered expression. So what? It didn’t mean you had been imagining indecent things with him in particular.

You raised your palms toward him, showing him the only method you were willing to try. His smile didn’t fade, just mirroring you. The distance between you was thin as glass.

“Focus on your will, bella.”

His eyes locked into yours, as if commanding your very mind. You nodded, exhaling quickly as you brought your palms closer, repeating your will like you alwayd do. Like a mantra.

Absorb enough, not more, of Dazai’s power to revive the broken vase under my bed. Without strings attached. Release his power quickly.

Absorb. Revive. Release.

The specificity of your command demanded your energy flow be free of emotional entanglements. To keep yourself focused, you tried to distract your thoughts by repeating the mantra.

“Say something. Something shocking. Now, Dazai!” you urged, your palms only centimeters from his.

“I want to kiss you again.”

Your eyes widened just as your hands connected.

You couldn’t even register if your ability had worked, too unconsciously drawn into Dazai’s dark eyes that bore into you. Not until his lips parted, his smile fading along with his nullification, his body collapsing in an instant.

Your breathing shortened, your throat dry. You staggered upright on weakened legs, searching frantically around the two of you.

“No, no. Please, tell me it worked—”

Your mind, hazy and panicked, took far too long to notice the vase lying near Dazai’s body.

“Oh my god, it worked…Dazai, f-fuck! Wake up! You can’t stay like this too long! Fuck your stupid plan, I shouldn’t have—”

You shook his shoulders, kneeling beside him, your hands cupping his cheeks before sliding desperately down to his chest, pressing against his heartbeat.

At that exact moment, you felt his pulse and his hand closed over your wrist. Your eyes met instantly.

Your veins still raced, the breath remained the same, shortening even more. You couldn’t decipher into Dazai’s look that he felt a twisted exhilaration as his ability was stripped away by yours, the pain only deepened his happiness surfacing from the inner of his own soul. And what he wanted before, now narrowed into a single, consuming need. Your lips.

You gasped when his hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you down until his mouth captured yours. His low moan made you shiver, making your body craving more as his pulled you with him, dragging you into his lap. The more he touched you, the more desperately you responded.

Dazai’s mouth pried yours open for his tongue to slip inside in a messy, urgent kill, fueled by both desire and the horrific thrill coursing through him. His hands shamelessly roamed over your ass, squeezing it after he swallowed your first moan you gave him and guiding you to grind against him harder, needier — until you could barely breathe, couldn’t respond anymore to his dominant mouth. You tore away only to rest your forehead against his.

Both of you gasped with lips parted, your ragged breaths syncing as your bodies rubbed together through the thin barrier of clothing. Entirely connected, speaking only through touch.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt this aroused (perhaps not since high school) just from dry humping against his restrained hardness, proven by your own arousal, moaning as you pressed closer. When your own sounds pitched higher, nearing release, you barely registered Dazai’s lips trailing down your neck before he bit you, forcing a whimper.

“D-Dazai.”

He didn’t stop, alternating bites with soothing licks, until he gripped your hips, dragging you more forcefully against him. The throbbing ache between your thighs broke into tremors as release overtook you while you collapsed against his neck, muffling your cries into his skin.

Dazai’s hand returned to the back of your neck, forcing your face up andmaking you meet his eyes. They were dazzling, fevered like yours— but laced with a manic glint that both terrified and enthralled you.

“I’m gonna fuck you, bella.” You gasped as he tugged your hair tighter, whispering once more against your lips. “And you’re going to scream exactly how much I want you to.”

Matching the intensity of his tone, you replied.

”Is there a threat, Dazai?”

His mouth only twitched, remembering his courtesy come to a final, after all.

── ⋆⋅

As you were opening the door to your house, a little timid, you thought, “Why must they always come to my place?”

Not that it happens too often, especially when the individual breathing down your neck has mentally tormented you in recent times, but it’s still your intimate space, your safe haven. And yet, a part of you, perhaps the strange part, doesn’t feel so troubled that Dazai has a slight access here, like the badge you receive at a new job. The access is restricted, depending on who you are, how trustworthy you are.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t the risk of someone deceiving you, sneaking into a chamber near your fragile soul and stealing from it. And Dazai is precisely the kind of man who makes you feel like you’re gambling sometimes.

Yet when you feel him like now, his intoxicating scent drowning your senses as his head buries into your neck, his arms enveloping you from behind, there is silence and the constant alertness fades away.

One of Dazai’s hands came over your breats, squeezing, while the other rested on your belly, pushing you slightly toward him.

“Mhm…”

Dazai’s mouth found the lobe of your ear, sucking gently before catching it between his teeth. The slight sting was ignored as his hand slid from your belly downward, coming between your legs and making you gasp. You were lucky he didn’t look at you, otherwise you couldn’t explain how your shyness around him vanished so fast as his fingers unzipped your pants, slipping his palm over your panties and making you bend forward against him.

His movements were smooth, addictive, so that your body couldn’t feel neglected. As your hips pressed against him every time his fingers on your clit quickened, Dazai slapped you and you moaned. “F-fuck…”

“You are a little desperate, bella. Aren’t you?”

It was infuriating that his voice remained unaffected, but you couldn’t reply as the hand once on your breast moved to your neck, restricting your breath slightly, stilling you as his fingers worked faster in circles, in tandem with his hold on you. He pulled you tighter to his chest, watching your suffocated-yet-blissful expression with his lips parted. Loosening his grip at the very end for you to breath more, Dazai’s focus was entirely on your face — brows furrowed in concentration, your moans rising in intensity.

“I’m gonna cum! Fuck, Dazai, I’m gonna cum—Don’t you dare stop. D-don’t, please—”

You cut yourself short as your head dropped onto his shoulder, eyes shutting, while he chuckled at your threatening words.

The convulsing of your body was a sight to behold, knowing it was he who caused it. Your eyes opened, chasing your breath and finding his gaze. Curiosity lingered in his expression as you moved closer, tugging him by the collar, seeking his addictive lips. He responded, only for you to feel his smirk against your mouth, a reaction to your desperation. The kiss was brief, your glare almost like you were threatening him for making you crave him so deeply.

His hand came over your head as you knelt before him, before it trailed to your face, his thumb parting your lower lip. It wasn’t hidden how enticing you looked for him on your knees while your hands undoing his clothes with haste. Even though his features were serious, scrutinizing you, Dazai’s voice seemed strangely sincere.

“You don’t need to, bella.”

His twisted smile slowly formed when your own voice cut sharp, words escaping as his pants fell to the floor.

“Shut up.”

You did not praise him. Not because you wished to restrain from feeding his arrogant nature, but because your crimson cheeks already betrayed the truth—that yes, his dick was indeed inpressive. Yet not solely that, it was pretty too. Even that thought was infuriating, that even here he could leave you hungry, so irritated, you began to lean into him, trailing kisses from the base upwards until you tasted him.

Dazai’s lips parted, his gaze never faltering from your maddening skill as you began to lick him, stroking the balls in perfect cadence with your mouth.

You felt him throb within as you gagged, so the perfect response was to glance at him with a wicked expression as you continued to suck him, deliberately gagging yourself. Dazai groaned at the sight, relishing the sensation of your warm mouth engulfing him, his hand shifting from the bed to cradle your cheek as he observed his dick vanish, deeper and faster, between your hollowed cheeks that already ached from the strain.

“Mhm… you look beautiful on your knees, bella.”

His sounds were far too intoxicating, compelling you to comply with whatever he desired. Still, it was not his priority; he slipped from your mouth, allowing you to breath for several seconds as he dragged his thumb across your lips. He leaned forward, his hand encircling your throat, squeezing lightly before his lips captured yours once more—an unspoken appreciation for the way your mouth had worshiped him.

Rising from the ground, aiding you upward with a hand behind your back, he steered you toward the bed with the grip upon your throat until your body collided with the cold mattress.

Dazai cupped your breats burying his head into the crook of your neck.

“It isn’t fair for one of us to remain overdressed, don’t you agree?”

You could hardly think as your body moved instinctively, aiding him in discarding your shirt, his hands instantly squeezing your breats and kissing them one by one. It was effortless for him to suck them since you wore no bra, causing your body to arch into him, your hand weaving through his short, tousled hair.

His lips descended lower, from between your breasts, down to your waist, taking his time, his eyes never leaving yours. He smiled when you leaned your head back, flustered by the intensity of his gaze. Your trousers were already loosened, sliding them down was effortless. His hand caressed your legs slowly, admiring as your skin prickled beneath his touch.

“Should I believe you revel in my hands upon you or are you merely starved for touch, [Name]?”

You did not answer, you could not confess such a truth. At your silence, Dazai shifted your body abruptly, making you yelp in surprise.

“Dazai, what the fuck—”

He pulled your legs toward him, bending your hips. Disregarding your protest, he slapped you once between your legs before circling his fingers around your clit.

“It’s alright, bella. I’ll make you answer sooner or later.”

“F-fuck…”

Fortunate it was dark in the room, or else you would have died of shame being so utterly exposed before someone who until so recently was nothing but the vexing, perilous colleague at work.

He pushed a finger inside, gauging how wet you were, before sliding in and out, then adding another to intensify your pleasure. His movements were deliberate, savoring your trembling legs and needy voice.

As you bent back, seeking more of him, his other hand pressed against your spine, halting you.

“Do you crave something?”

You whined, burying your face into the pillow, muffling,

“You’re so m-mean…”

Dazai chuckled, finding you too endearing not to thrust and curl his fingerss, deeper as a reward, drawing harsher moans from your lips.

“Please, Dazai—”

He slapped your ass, then the other, repeating until your breath fractured between the strikes. His fingers delved deeper, faster, dragging shameless cries from you.

“It feels so good, so good—Dazai, please…”

“Am I still cruel?”

His voice was darker now, heavy with restraint, as though holding himself back from fuck you entirely, despite how sultry and inviting you looked, moaning his name.

“N-no… no, I’m sorry—”

He chuckled, mocking words spilling effortlessly, though they were irrelevant so long as he continued, since you were so close.

“Aww, you’re sorry? If I had known my bella only needed me to fuck her in order to cease being so defiant…”

Unrecognizable to yourself, but his words made you clench around him, and he knew it. Speaking to you like that only pulled you faster toward release. Who would have thought such an arrogant yet entrancing man could unravel you so swiftly—most of all, with his voice.

Screaming as your climax tore through you, Dazai prolonged it for a few more moments before his fingers slipped free. You looked back at him over your shoulder, though only your eyes were visible through your disheveled hair. He licked a trail of your release from his fingers before slipping them between his lips, and your body trembled anew at the sight. You truly were insane for him.

He flipped you onto your back again, dragging your legs forward before lifting them, striking your thigh and then your already reddened ass, making your legs quiver harder than they had from your previous release. even as a single tear traced your cheek. No doubt bruises would soon litter your skin, marks scattered across your neck.

He leaned over you, still in his blouse, only a glimpse of his abdomen revealed, your hands instinctively clasping his shoulders. He kissed the trail of tears, prompting you to turn your head, granting him space. The gesture was unfamiliar, oddly intimate, awakening the desire to kiss him again.

But Dazai only smiled when your vexed expression returned as he denied you, until he tore a strip of the white bandage, enough to bind your hands above your head, your eyes widening in shock.

“W-what are you doing?”

He evaded the question, leaning close, his whisper brushing your skin.

”I’m gonna fuck you, bella. Did you already forget? Or is it that you no longer want me?”

Perhaps you were a little afraid, perhaps not, but to be bound and at his mercy required a trust you most likely possessed—otherwise, why would your body be so impatient for him? You lifted your hips, seeking him, and Dazai—attuned to the language of your body—understood that you did not want him in any other way. To torment you as he pleased, knowing that, in the end, you would yield. His hand slid to lift your legs, guiding them to lock around his body. He teased, brushing his lips faintly over the place that craved them.

“I—I want you.”

You longed to reach down yourself, to be the one to do it, but you couldn’t. Your gaze lowered to his other hand as it descended, smearing his own precum at the tip with his thumb before grinding his dick slowly against your swollen clit and further below. He parted his lips at the same time as you when he began to fill you—how exquisite it felt after these past months, months in which, shamelessly, you had imagined it late at night. Not that he wasn’t experienced, but you were so wet that the contractions around his long-neglected dick tortured even him, so he avenged himself by thrusting fully into you.

“Dazai—Oh my God…”

His hand gripped your thighs, raising them slightly for better leverage, driving in and out as the pain of the stretch began melting into something pleasurable enough to make you moan.

He surged upward into you when only an inch remained, slamming the rest into your eager body. His hand returned to your throat, forcing your closed eyes open, leaving you to see nothing but his darkened gaze. His deeper, whispering voice made you clench tightly around him.

“Answer me, bella. Did my touch make your body so obedient?”

His thrusts grew rougher, your breath shattering between them. Gentle, wet kisses along the side of your neck and firm arms braced around your waist pulled you back to him from the trance in which you were lost, feeling only his pounding until then.

“Beg for me, [Name].”

He loosened the bandages binding your wrists, and your hands immediately slid over his shoulders, pulling him closer, tangling in his hair.

“Please, Dazai—you make me feel so fucking good, so good… j-just your touch…”

Dazai’s smile was wicked, savoring the sight of your desperate, lust-drunk eyes. His fingers delivered a miracle, circling your clit as your eyes rolled back, your breath breaking rapidly, barely remembering the sound of your own sweet voice.

“My Dazai… I—I fucking love it—”

Your gaze was so vulnerable as you shattered for him, your need laid bare, only driving him closer to his own edge.

“Mhm. Let go for me, bella.”

He kissed you, swallowing your moans, your legs tightening around his hips to force him deeper. Dazai’s thrusts grew harder, deeper, until you felt him swell within you. Not long after, he slipped free, stroking himself over you, his eyes never leaving yours as he reached his release, spreading across your exhausted body.

He braced himself with his hands beside you, your breaths slowly aligning. You could scarcely see his expression, shadowed beneath his hair, but his smile was there. You raised a hesitant hand to his face, and he leaned down, capturing your lips in a slow, languid kiss.

Perhaps it was the moment, or perhaps too much time had already passed, but Dazai no longer felt the need to remain this way. His favored persona began to resurface.

“Now… maybe this time you’ll kill me and bring the sealed book?”

“I might, but I’m not that furious with you right now. Yet.”

“I might not want you to be, either, bella.”

Your smile mirrored his, though only your eyes glistened more in the night. He leaned down, kissing your cheek before stepping away. Before disappearing into the bathroom, he added in that playful tone over his shoulder:

“Or who knows?”

When he returned, the bubble you had been floating in had already burst, reality reclaiming its ground. No, Dazai was not the man from earlier, only a fragment of him. The impact was heavier only because he revealed that side so rarely, making sure you’d never grow accustomed to it. Even now, as you looked at him, bangs falling across his face, bent posture while wiping you gently with a warm towel. It was only for now, for this moment.

Tomorrow he might behave as though it hadn’t meant as much as it had to you. And yet you didn’t sleep tense, nor any less relaxed, in his arms that night. Even if he slipped away before dawn.