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@bpdlassie
Collie. I'm an adult over 30. I have AuDHD and am Catholic. Don't worry about my gender or pronouns or biological sex.... you don't need to know these things.
Helpful resources | Encouragement | others tags go here
Currently my interests including mental health, recovery, and I'm learning to use Linux and expanding my knowledge on things like coding and privacy focused digital life.
This is a sideblog.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today I feel like I am rediscovering myself. Started interacting with people again and it feels good. Dang, I'm actually kind of hilarious.
t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOUβRE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOUβRE MISINTERPRETING
ooooo i have to find grace for myself in the way that i find grace for others i have to find grace for myself in the way that i find grace for others i have to find grace for myself in the way that i find grace for others
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I don't think my trauma brain wants me dead so much as I think my trauma brain needs to be convinced that it's okay not to be terrified of the world
βA ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.β
β John A. Shedd
WAIT ITβS MONDAY I CAN FINALLY DO THIS
Pedro Salinas, from a poem titled "Reason To Love," featured in Love Is Like The Lion's Tooth: An Anthology of Love Poems
It's always been very hard for me to connect to other people. Especially because I nearly always have some level of detachment... it seems like my brand of autism means that I just don't desire social connections in the same ways others do. "No man is an island", so I can't function totally alone... but the ways that friendships are fulfilling for me tend to just look different than for others. And I require a lot of alone time.
I've always made friends through hobbies, more than anything else. Much easier to talk to people when I can talk about the stuff that interests me. But I also have had to learn that I can't only talk about stuff that interests me, conversations are give and take.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I would say objective knowledge exists, but reality is so very complex and nuanced than multiple things can be true at once and this applies toβ¦. almost everything. I am detail oriented, I like learning the ins and outs of systems, logic, reality, I tend to break stuff down and built on top of the stuff I've already learned in many ways. But not all brains work like mine. Most people take whatever concept and a surface level understanding is sufficient for their needs. And that isn't bad! But it does limit their perspective to a single principle of that thing, and their perception may not be entirely correct.
I enjoy reverse engineering concepts. I enjoy learning the nitty gritty and all the small parts that make up and lead to the whole, and I am able to transfer these skills across multiple concepts, especially for systems that work similarly. This means that I often find other ways to arrive at the same conclusion of the overall principle. And that means I see all the nuances, how reality on many/most things isn't strictly yes or no.
Skills like mine are very useful in terms of better understanding an issue, and sometimes in coming up with an alternate or perfected understanding of it.
But a simplified understanding of most things is sufficient for most.
I both love and hate how complex reality is. Cool to discover the mechanisms behind stuff!!!! Like a puzzle! Unfortunately, it seems that understanding how things work requires so many layers of logic and reason that trying to help others understand is extremely difficult!
But also, need to keep in mind that not all brains work the way mine does, and that's okay, that's GOOD even. I am detail oriented. That's a skill. People don't need to know every detail of stuff to have a good understanding, or apply this understanding effectively.
My strength lies in TRANSFERRING my understanding of systems across systems and adapting to them, and in reverse engineering concepts to view the thing from a different angle. Which helps me understand it BETTER, often, than the common understanding. I think. I hope.
Understanding math as a complex system built in many layers on top of strict logic & reasoning is making me ponder that dyscalculia (dyslexia but numbers) isn't an inability to UNDERSTAND or even to learn math, rather my brain scrambles numbers & gets confused w/ direction. (I'm always reading cash totals backwards, getting lost in counting, etc.)
Think I should approach issues as a puzzle to be solved, taking into account that other humans are potential collaborators and not "the problem"
My autistic interest as a kid was dogs! Extremely obsessed for the entire first 16 years of my life. I was considered almost an expert on dogs among my friends and family because I memorized all the things.
And people tell me, what's the difference between simply having a favorite topic, and having a "special interest" as used in academic research on autism? After all, we ALL have interests!
It's about the reason the interest exists, the extent to which it exists (it can be so extreme you literally can't think about anything else at all), and the focus on this over socializing with peers... Or, alternatively, when your socialization is just you talking about your interests because you don't know how else to socialize but talking about the things you like, even if it dominates the conversation.
Our special interests are often enjoyed specifically in the systemization category, we get a lot of immense joy from learning absolutely everything about them and memorizing the details. Joy that we, most notably, do NOT feel from social interactions. The theory is this gives us a sense of control in a world that does not make sense to us... So, it's ultimately likely a consequence of social deficit specifically.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
The way ppl be acting like you can't be autistic if you're able to do a college course when there is a ton of academic research abt a gap in abilities for autistic people w high intelligence, which shows this intelligence doesn't translate into overall ability to function
I've said many times... I feel like an idiot savant. Good at learning complex concepts. If I REALLY put my mind to it, I could probably learn higher level mathematics cuz logic systems are my jam! But I also can't care for myself to such a degree that I can't live independently
Maybe a better description of autistic systemizing/bottom up processing is... Others have a basic understanding of various life systems. You don't need to know how a system works to benefit from or even use it. Think of computers.
Because MY thought process starts early on with something detailed, when I move on to another topic, I enjoy learning how things tick. Transfering this over multiple systems, I start to get a picture of life and how things all connect.
