#actuallyautistc

"Merlin Entertainments said it would not allow people with conditions such as autism, ADHD and anxiety to use the disability queuing system this February half-term, due to increased demand for the passes.

Critics say the firm, which runs attractions including Alton Towers in Staffordshire and Thorpe Park in Surrey, will be unfairly targeting those with a hidden disability.

Until now, those who have a "difficulty with crowds" have qualified for the ride access pass, allowing them to use a virtual queuing system - waiting outside the physical queue - and cutting waiting times for rides.

Emma Camp, 38, enjoys visits to Alton Towers and Thorpe Park, but gets anxiety in large crowds.

"I was devastated," she said of the new eligibility criteria, which meant she would not be eligible for a ride access pass.

"I felt not included any more, and I don't want to stop going to the place that I love going to, but I may have to. It definitely made me feel angry."

She added she felt as if Merlin "didn't care".

Emma said one of the adjustments being offered to help people who struggled with crowds and queuing was to provide sensory rooms or quiet spaces.

[cw: alcohol, addiction, unhealthy coping behaviors]

Two AuDHD mental health professionals discuss burnout and alcohol on their Divergent Conversations podcast:

PATRICK CASALE: I think one thing that we're not touching on and that's important to name too, is when you are in autistic burnout, substance use is going to ramp up, drastically. 

DR. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely.

PATRICK CASALE: And I noticed that for me that I was [on a] retreat in New Orleans...surrounded by 20 people that I had to be on for the entire time, so alcohol was my best friend at that moment...To have some semblance of small talk, alcohol has to be the lubricant for me.

And acknowledging that is the realization of like, you have to pay attention to that for yourselves, for any of you who are listening, like, whatever the substance of choice or process of choice is, because it can get dangerous very quickly, and it can get out of hand very, very quickly, too.

MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, this is interesting. This isn't something I've talked too much about...But I have struggled with disordered relationship to alcohol in the past, and particularly around burnout. 

So, it's interesting. I'm curious about — there's something I've noticed. So, my spouse and I respond really different to alcohol. For me, it energizes me. For them, he's like ready to go to sleep after a glass or two of wine, or beer, or whatever it is. I noticed among autistic people — and this is totally anecdotal — I noticed that it tends to be more energizing for them, which I'm really curious about. 

So, for me, I often used it to energize and as like liquid dopamine. So, if I had papers to grade or some tedious task, and I was in burnout, then I'd be like, "Oh, well, I'll pair it with some wine tonight." ...

So, I think whether it's socializing, because it takes a sensory edge off and it makes socializing easier, or whether it's to try and motivate us, or because it gives us this kind of faux sense of regulation and energy, I think there's so many reasons we're really vulnerable to, particularly, I would say alcohol during burn out.

PATRICK CASALE: I agree 100% with everything you just said, including the energizing component. And you know, there's such a cost to it too, because you don't sleep well, and then you throw in alcohol into the mix. And I mean, it's just so challenging. 

...You talk about sensory soothing a lot, and you talk about skills and techniques to kind of manage burnout when you're in it. And I'm just curious about things that our listeners who may not be mental health professionals and have access to the things that we do, that they can do when they're experiencing some of this stuff.

MEGAN NEFF: ...So, on one, I think, identifying those self-soothers that are like faux self-soothers. Like, they're self-soothing in the moment, but they're actually making your burnout worse. So, things like alcohol use or other substance use. I would think identifying those and really targeting those things, because those create a cycle, a loop that then perpetuate the burnout. 

CW: Fear, invalidation

So I’m 99% sure I’m autistic, but I want to be 100% sure, so I want to seek a professional diagnosis. But I’m so scared of being brushed off or invalidated because I’m an adult woman, who is doing fairly well in college. I’m worried I won’t even be able to get on a waiting list because someone who’s never met me will think I’m doing fine/not struggling enough/not autistic enough. I can make some eye contact and I’ve always been the weird girl out but what if they think that’s within normal range? I wouldn’t be struggling so much if I was normal. What if I do get an evaluation, but I’m so anxious that my mask is on the whole time. There’s just so much uncertainty around the whole thing that someone who fears the unknown and changes (me!) is very trepid going into the whole thing. It’s also quite expensive so it feels like a lot of risk, and I don’t exactly enjoy leaps of faith. Have you gone through anything similar or have any tips?

Thank you for your time.

Dear anon,

Yes, I went through very similar fears when I was trying to get diagnosed.  

The first important thing is you have to do your research first.  Especially if where you live you will have to pay money to see a doctor, you want to make sure it’s the right doctor.  Make sure that this psychiatrist does autism evaluations for adults.  Call them, ask their office, and if you don’t feel confident that they really do autism evaluations for adults, call another.  You will probably have to make a lot of phone calls.  I’m not telling you that to discourage you- I’m telling you that to encourage you.  So that you don’t give up.  So that you continue calling, until you find a doctor that will help you.

You can’t let fear of others brushing you off stop you from getting things you need.  You won’t know whether you’ll be able to get on a waiting list unless you try to get on it.  And then, if you don’t get on it at first, you try again.  And you try again.  And you keep trying, until you get it.  IF you keep trying, you will get it.  You will get it because there are adults out there who are diagnosed with autism.  I am one of them.  There are lots of us.  There are psychiatrists out there who will help.  You just have to find them.

As for the masking, just be honest with the doctor.  Tell them about masking.  When they ask you “Do you do X?”, even if you haven’t done it in years because of masking, say “Yes, I do that, but I’ve learned how to hide it.” That’s honest.  It’s the truth.  Help them see under the mask with your words.  And being nervous will actually help you, because our masks slip when we’re under stress, so you’re probably going to look more autistic than you think you are (I sure did).

Lastly, if you feel you’re autistic, you’re probably autistic.  There is so much fear in the autistic community about “faking” it.  I know this fear comes from masking.  We’re told, all our lives, to “suck it up” and “just deal with it”, and then we do, and so...it couldn’t really have been real, then, right? Except the fact that you had to suck it up means something is there!  The fact that you had to deal with it is the symptom.  If you weren’t autistic, then there wouldn’t have been anything to suck up or deal with.  

Because some hobbies and special interests seem misunderstood or neurotypical people dont get why things bring me and others joy.

in real life Hannah's writing the servant was another whipid. But i wanted to explore a different side of comic Hannah's personality, especially after all the rough'n'tumble fighting that just went down. Plus, i think i got tired of drawing whipids.

Speaking of which, the w key on my keyboard came off the other day and i accidentally bent some of the plastic on the little thing that holds it on, and now my w key is crooked. Its annoying.